The Storm Incident
The Fantasic Four is copy-written by Marvel Comics.
Josh could have sworn that his jaw hit the floor. In fact, it probably did.
"...You're his... what?" Josh stammered.
"...His girlfriend," replied Rachel, slightly annoyed.
Josh's world was crumbling right before his eyes. Johnny Storm, the perfect man, had a girlfriend. What kind of sick shit was Johnny doing, going out with this floozy while having wild sex with Josh? Josh bit his tongue at the thought of this. It would be a bad thing if Josh blew this up here and now.
Rachel glanced at her watch and started walking toward the door. She turned around as she opened the door.
"Well, I've got to be going, it was nice meeting you...err... what was it? Ben? Bye!" Rachel said, slamming the door behind her. Josh could clearly hear the clicking of her heels as she walked down the hallway.
Josh was pissed. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought that Johnny was playing him. Then again, he was after all, Johnny Storm, infamous manwhore of the decade. Josh stomped off toward the stairs.
* * * * *
Rachel was pissed. They delayed the launch yet again, and she was going to be late for her hair appointment. And there was no way she could miss this hair appointment, Julie, her life partner, and her were going out that night for a night on the town. If there was something Rachel loved more than Julie, it was her orgasms, and she was not going to be without one tonight. The last time she had missed her hair appointment Julie nearly threw a tantrum. Perhaps it was the fact that she had been cooped up in the house for the past 2 months recovering from knee surgery, or perhaps it was the fact that Rachel was working two jobs to cover everything since Julie was out of work. Whatever the case, Julie turned into a crabby bitch when Rachel replied with "what hair appointment?" This was a good week and a half ago, and Rachel hadn't come for a long time. She was determined to orgasm at least once tonight.
Running down the stairs in the building, Rachel heard her phone ring. Attempting to multi-task, Rachel ran down the flight of stairs while digging through her purse. While the author is not entirely sure on how many people reading this story have run down a flight of stairs while wearing 3-inch heels, he can only be certain that it is quite difficult, if not impossible, to do so without nearly killing yourself falling down the stairs. This was the case for Rachel. Halfway down the stairs, the heel on her right shoe snapped in half, sending her flailing down the stairs, landing in a heap at the bottom. Her phone had somehow landed right beside her. She picked it up.
"He-hello?" Rachel stammered.
The voice of Johnny Storm crackled to life through the phone. "Hey Rache, it's Johnny. How ya doin'?"
"Aching, bruised, and laying in a heap at the bottom of a flight of stairs. Oh, and I've got a broken heel. You?"
"Ouch... how'd ya do that?"
"Do I need to explain?"
Rachel picked herself up off the floor, straightened her skirt, and hobbled out into the parking lot, wearing 1 shoe.
"No don't bother. So was he there?" asked Johnny.
"What? Who are you- erm, sorry, whom are you talking about?" replied Rachel.
"...You remember, Josh. Right?"
There was a pause. Rachel dug her keys out of her purse and unlocked her car.
"Josh? No, I don't think there was a Josh in there. Why?" said Rachel.
"Don't you remember anything I tell you? He's the one!" exclaimed Johnny.
"...He's the what?"
There was another silence.
"OH! THE ONE!" yelled Rachel.
"Yes, the one," Johnny chuckled to himself.
"No, there wasn't a Josh there. There was a Tom there. Or was it Ben? Maybe it was... Phil! No, wait I-"
"Are you sure there wasn't a Josh there?"
"Yes I'm sure. I know I would have remembered if he was there. It's not like I forget names or people very easily. Especially ones that you're dating."
There was an awkward silence. Rachel started her car. The low fuel light blinked on the dashboard.
"Fuck! This is not my day. At all," said Rachel.
"Oh I know what you mean. Exactly what you mean. That's really odd though, I don' t think he'd have stood me up. I'll talk to ya later. Chau."
"What the fuck, don't go Spanish on my ass, I'm the linguistics profes-...Damn. Hung up."
And with that, Rachel sped away to the hair salon. With any luck, she'd be on time.
* * * * *
Johnny was perplexed. Why on earth would Josh stand him up like this? Was he still pissed about last night? Or did something happen this morning, god forbid his parents finding out about the two of them. Johnny had thought they were sneaky enough, but maybe he was wrong. After pondering for several minutes, Johnny wired through the request to mission control. Permission was granted, and the link was opened.
Josh stomped down the stairs and through the parking lot to his car. He was pissed like no other. He sat down, started his car, and floored it. About halfway home, a message appeared on the screen in his car saying that he had a new incoming call. Josh poked the answer button.
"Hello?" said Josh.
"Josh-hey!" Johnny's voice crackled to life through the car stereo.
"What do you want."
"Heeyyy... what's up with you? Didn't you go to the launch this morning?"
"Yes I did, and I met Rachel."
"Oh I see. Did she make you mad or something?"
"What the fuck do you get off being like `oh did she make you mad'?! She's your fucking girlfriend! What the fuck! I thought we were together, not you and some Jennifer Garner-lookalike!" Josh yelled.
"What?" Johnny said, surprised.
"She fucking told me that you were her boyfriend! How can you explain that?!" Josh yelled.
"I...uh..." stammered Johnny.
"Well?!" Josh yelled.
"...Josh, you remember the other day..." said Johnny.
"What?!" Josh barked.
"...You remember when you said that you didn't want to be that open and stuff... well, like, I don't either. So I have... well... you can't exactly call her that, but like..." Johnny said.
"But what?!" Josh barked.
"Josh... you're not going to believe me if I tell you this, but she's not my girlfriend. She's a total lesbo with a girlfriend and everything." Johnny said.
"What?" Josh said, slightly annoyed.
"Yes, you see, we're like... each other's cover. We claim to be with each other and that way like... that way things won't blow up in the media."
Josh stared at the open road in front of him in disbelief.
"...I don't believe you. Why would I ever think in a thousand million billion years that you, Johnny Storm, the biggest manwhore in the universe could possibly be faithful to one fucking person?! Why why why?!" Josh yelled in tears.
"Josh, are you driving?" asked Johnny.
"Pull off the road."
"Josh, pull off the road, I don't want you injured."
"Fine! And since when do you fucking care about me anyways? You just saw me as a quick easy fuck that one night, what was it, a week ago? And now what, a week later I find out your have a girlfriend after you say that you `love' me?! What the hell, how am I supposed to believe this?!" yelled Josh as he pulled off onto the shoulder.
"Look Josh...I don't know what else to say. That's the truth, and I don't know what else to do to make you believe it," said Johnny.
"...What I still don't understand is why the hell you would do this anyways. It's not like you're just going to get suddenly famous overnight and everyone will find out you love penis or something-"
Johnny chuckled at Josh's last remark.
"Not funny. I mean you could have at least told me about this before I'd end up meeting her. But hold on here, does she... does she know about... us?" said Josh.
"Yes, she does." replied Johnny
"...So are we good then?"
"...Yeah, I guess. I just don't like sharing my men."
There was an awkward silence.
"Even though I've never had a man before you anyways," Josh said. He snorted, and Johnny laughed.
"I'm just going to pretend like she never said that to me, okay?" Josh said.
"Fine by me," Johnny replied.
"So I'll see you when you get down then?"
"Oh for sure, for sure."
"Okay, I'll see ya then."
"Try not to have too much fun while I'm up here."
"Oh, believe me, I won't."
Johnny disconnected the link and turned to Sue.
"So what'd you do now, eh?" Sue asked.
"Shut up." said Johnny.
"Whatever... anyways we'll be docked at the space station soon."
* * * * *
Josh was very confused at what just happened, and really didn't want to think about it. So, he dug through his CDs and popped in his favorite hippy music, The Association. The wonderful hippy vibes were perfect for this occasion.
Cherish is the word I use to describe
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
You don't know how many times I've wished that I had told you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could hold you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could mold you
Into someone who could cherish me as much as I cherish you
Perish is the word that more than applies
To the hope in my heart each time I realize
That I am not gonna be the one to share your dreams
That I am not gonna be the one to share your schemes
That I am not gonna be the one to share what seems to be
The life that you could cherish as much as I do you
Josh could clearly see now where "emo" music originated. The so-called whiney music that some teenagers listen to while wearing thick eyeliner, claiming that "emo" music has some special amount of emotion in it, when in reality all music has emotion in it. It might just happen to not be about how someone's girlfriend wouldn't have sex with them.
He continued the drive home, and, after an uneventful afternoon at home, he drove to band practice for, an uneventful evening, arriving at home finally around 9:30pm. Josh promptly went to bed.
Josh woke up early the next morning to a lot of noise. Josh suspected, as usual, that his parents were arguing. He checked the calendar. It was the 4th week of August.
"I'm sure as fuck glad I'm up here," Josh though to himself, not wanting to get involved with his mother's PMSing rampages. Some days Josh wondered why his mother didn't just overdose on Midol so she would simply just shut up. Josh fell back asleep and awoke later that morning. He walked downstairs, switched on the TV to CNN, and walked over to the counter to see what kind of cracked up note his mother left for him today.
Be back tomorrow morning/late tonight. I'm thinking you can fend for yourself. Call cell if you need anything.
School starts tomorrow. Get your shit together --> OfficeMax? Whatever.
Josh walked over to the cabinet and grabbed a cereal bowl. There were all sorts of noises coming from the TV. Josh looked up at the TV and listened to the news.
"...If you're just tuning in now, there's been an accident aboard the Von Doom space station. The status of the crewmembers, Reed Richards, Ben Grimm, Sue Storm, and Johnny Storm, Sue and Johnny are siblings, is unknown. The crew was attempting to study a plasma storm of some kind. As soon as we have more information on what's going on here we'll tell you. Once again, there has been an accident aboard the Von Doom space station..."
Josh dropped the cereal bowl, it shattering into a million pieces on the floor.
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