Date: Tue, 11 Dec 2012 19:33:50 -0800 (PST) From: Joseph Klimczak Subject: Tales of Sol 14 The Tales of Sol 14 Different Battlefield "Hey Mike, it is Jeff we need to talk," I heard his voice from the hitching sound I think he'd been crying. That alone was enough for me "Ok, just come on over," I told him I wasn't sure what was going on so quickly made myself look presentable. Just putting socks on when my doorbell was rung I ran downstairs skipping the last two, racing for the front door. When I opened the door what I saw made my heart ache. Jeff was standing there and he looked like Hell, his normally angelic looking face was stricken with tears. His eyes were red and puffy it looked as if he has been crying for some time now. When he finally looked up at me and his eyes were filled with a range of emotion but the one that stood out was the uncertainty. "I had no one else to turn to," Jeff cried his voice was filled devastation that I was taken back. "Jeff, come on in," I said putting my good arm around him coaxing him inside before someone saw him standing at me door. The instant my arm was around him his' flew around me, and his face buried into my shoulder. I could hear him crying into my shoulder and I could image the fresh tears not that I had to since I felt them soak my shirt. It was irrelevant as I held him, running my hand along his back trying to comfort him. "It's ok Jeff whatever it is I am here," I comfort he just kept crying and it seemed as if he had lost his voice. I tried again a whispered, "It is ok Jeff whatever it is I will help you," "I just need someone to talk to." He sobbed "Ok Jeff just let it out," I comforted "I need to tell you something and I am afraid you will hate me," He told me. I guided him to the couch we sat down Jeff continued to cry on my shoulder soaking my shirt which was the least of my worries my friend needed me and I was going to do everything I could to help. "You can tell me anything you want Jeff," I said bring his head up so I could see his beautiful blue eyes they were red from the crying. "Mike I, I, I'm gay," He stuttered out It took me a few seconds to take in what he said my own heart stopped for a second, I began a mind focus exercise he didn't need was to see me react any differently for he may fear it to be something else entirely so I turned to him. "So, you're gay and that is suppose to change our friendship how?" I asked He looked at me with a surprise look on his fact "You're not?" He stumbled "Am I fazed by it? No I am not and why would I be?" I asked "Because Nick did," Jeff cried I was about to say something when my phone went off again reaching around Jeff I grabbed it "Hello?" "Mike, it is Drew is Jeff there with you?" came the response. "I don't know if I should answer that," I replied my desire to protect my friend had kicked in even from those I knew were his. "Dammit, Mike just answer, the damn question!" Drew cried this took me back because I could hear the fear in Drew's voice "And what if he is, I think Nick did enough," I replied to see if my suspicions were correct "Thank God," I heard him sigh confirming them "What you aren't going to bitch him out?" I asked astonished that after what I saw in Jeff that Drew would care. "No, Mike I won't I am so sorry for what Nick had said to Jeff he had no right to say it," Drew cried again I was taken back even though I shouldn't these guys had know each other too long not to have this kind of connection. "Well I am guessing Jeff will be staying with me at least for the night," I said sighing because there was so healing that needed to be done and part of it would happen tonight. "It is not a problem is it?" Drew asked. "And when is it?" I asked back with a chuckle. I heard him chuckle as well "Thanks Mike," Drew said "It is my pleasure," I replied "Do you think Jeff will talk to us?" Drew asked I looked down at Jeff his face was still buried into my chest and his head shook in the way that told me that he wasn't ready I told Drew, "I don't think he is ready," I could hear him sighing and to reassure him, "Drew I will look after him," "Thanks Mike," Drew sighed again "I will talk to you tomorrow Drew you are still welcome to come over," I informed him "Thanks Mike yes we will see you in the morning," Drew said then hung up. Looking at Jeff he lost his voice again tears just streamed down his face, I could sense the feelings of lost and hopelessness in his touch. "Mother what do I do?" I asked Not able to think of anything else I just held him close as he cried into my shoulder I absentmindedly continued to rub his back comforting him not knowing what I could do for him. 'Should I tell him I am gay too?' I thought to myself. When I didn't hear him crying anymore I looked down to see his eyes were close he was asleep. He looked like an angel I put my hand on his cheek wiping away the tears off his face and leaned in a softly kissed cheek and whispered into his ear, "Everything will be all right, there is always hope," As I laid there listening to his steady breathing it was sort of soothing and it seems that he was taking in the beating of my heart as he started to snuggle up against it. I closed my eyes for what I thought would have been for just a moment. When I opened my eyes I realized that it was still dark out but didn't know what time it was. But it became apparent that I had fallen asleep with Jeff still in my arm. I looked down at him even in low light I could make out his angelic profile still rested against my shoulder. "He's going to have one hell of an kink in his neck,' I laughed to myself. As humanly as possible I tried to ease myself out from under Jeff with out waking him, then made my way to the bathroom. Getting a wash cloth and running it under warm water, and with my only good hand I squeezed the wash cloth as best as I could ringing out the excess water. Bringing the warm wet cloth to Jeff I gently I cleaned up the sleeping angels face. He began stirring, "What, what happened?" He whispered "Don't open your eyes just yet," I whispered back "You cried yourself to sleep," I told him moving the washcloth over his eyes removing the film on his eyelids. He sighed feeling the refreshing air hit his face. "How, is your neck?" I asked "Good, you are quite comfortable to sleep on," Jeff chuckled "I'll be your pillow any time big man," I laughed putting the washcloth down "How is that?" I asked Jeff slowly opened his eyes blinking a couple of times then he smiled up at me with his trademark smile one that could reach my heart everytime he finally spoke "Thank you?" "For what?" I inquired not realizing I did anything really big, apart of me was down playing the role of comfort I gave him after all I would do it for anyone who needed it. "For everything," Jeff replied "You are welcome," I smiled back at him "How are you feeling?" I asked "Confused, lost, worried, hurt, I don't know?" Jeff sighed "Those feelings are all very understandable," I responded "I just don't know why Nick would say the things he said," Jeff said I could feel him starting to cry again "Hey no crying," I told him Jeff just looked at me I could see the disappointment in his eyes. "You are ruining your beautiful face," I smiled This made him chuckle a little but I could tell that it didn't make him any happier. "I am sorry Jeff," I apologized "It's ok you were trying to get me to laugh," He told me "Yeah I did such a good job," I sighed "It's the thought that counts," Jeff spoke softly "Would it help you if I told you I was gay to?" I asked him "A little," Jeff confessed squeezing me "Well then I have confession to make," I stated "What that?" He asked "Jeff I am also gay," I answered "How, did you do it?" Jeff inquired "Do what?" I queried "Being gay?" Jeff asked "The same way you had to," I told him "You had to hide who you are?" Jeff asked I laughed a little before responding, "Jeff I was in the Navy for four years," "Oh yeah that whole 'Don't ask Don't tell'" Jeff spoke "Yeah and it wasn't easy," I told him "I am sure it wasn't," He spoke into my chest "Not that I envy you I just had to worry about being booted out, you have the whole world watching you almost 24/7," I shivered at the thought of it "No but your experience must have been just as rough," Jeff reassure turning to me then Jeff asked, "But how did you make it through that kind of environment?" Shivering again because of the act that I nearly took and all because of those fears, "I almost didn't," I told him This got his attention he looked at me, "I was at the end of the rope and so strung out, fearing what could happen to me if the wrong people found out," I sighed He squeezed me again as I continued, "In my darkest hours I would lay awake at night worrying," "Wondering if the world would be a better place with out me," I told him His eyes were glued to mine, "Then one night I was working on a jet when I felt a strange feeling in the air," I smiled remembering the moment "What happened?" Jeff asked "The Mother happened," I told him "The Earth?" Jeff asked I smiled, "In that one instant she had wrapped herself around me giving me the peace of mind that I had so long sought," "In that instant I felt a love that I never knew existed and more importantly I was given something that I thought I had lost," I told him "What was it?" Jeff asked "Hope, I was feeling so depressed and so strung out that I though hope was foolish, but the Earth with a mix of the love of the Gods returned that to me," I responded I looked down at Jeff and saw a new sight he was smiling. I took it as a good sign so, "It was then I realized that things would be ok," I said "So you think things will be ok with me and Nick?" Jeff asked "Yes," I confirmed "How can you be so certain?" Jeff quizzed "Because I have hope," I replied "So you're gay eh?" I could see the mischief forming in his eyes "Yes," I confirmed "Would that mean you have some sort of crush on me?" Jeff asked. I blushed a little "I plead the 5th," I replied "That not fair," Jeff chuckled "What?" I asked "Using the Constitution like that," Jeff chided. I laughed, "I can't help if it was made to protect the innocent," We both erupted with a fit of laughed. "So do you have a crush on me?" Jeff asked That stopped me cold I had to wonder myself do I looking at Jeff I had to wonder he everything a person could want he had and his eyes they were stunning. "I, I, I, I guess I do," I stuttered He chuckled "I can accept that." I was suddenly shaken out of my stupor and ran down to my Holo-Room upon entering it I had BEATTI conjure up a forest with huge lake in it. The tranquil scene normally brought peace to me but today it almost seemed to mock me but it was the only place I went when I needed comfort "No this is impossible," I cried pacing back and forth wearing a path in the grass. "He can't be asking that," I babbled as I put a hand on the holographic tree. Turning to the the majestic lake before me the holo sun gave it a soothing mirror like reflection which at the moment showed my distrusted look as if I was trying to make myself look worst then I really was "How could anyone like this face?" I asked myself as I put my hand to the lake causing a rippling effect above my face's reflection. "I could," I heard from behind me whirling around I saw Jeff had entered the Holo-Room I turn to him tears started to stream out of my eyes I shook my head "How could you I am just a nobody," I cried "You are not a nobody you are a kind and gentle person who gives to those in need," Jeff soothed. "You took in a couple strangers, and made them your friends," Jeff soothed me again. How the tables have turned this time it was Jeff who was giving me comfort when he knelt down and pulled me into a hug "I, I, I don't know what to say," I stuttered "That might be a good thing," I chuckled He laughed pulling back then took my hand into his it was like a jolt electricity being sent through my body and all of my walls and mind focus exercises were obliterated. What was it about this man every time I am with in his sight I could help but feel secure. I stood there looking at Jeff both stunned and shocked. I could see tears forming into Jeff's eyes. I looked at him deeply as if I could see into his soul. 'How do I tell this wonderful man that I am the Guardian Angel,' I thought to myself I pulled him into a hug letting him know it wasn't him. "I'm sorry Jeff I didn't mean to act like that," I told him "I am still working on how to act human again," I continued "But you are more human then I have ever seen," Jeff countered "You took us in knowing who we were, and the only thing you wanted was our friendship," Jeff spoke "I know but it too long since I could give my heart someone," I said which brought tears to my eyes. "Why are you crying?" Jeff whispered "Just realizing how long it has been since I hugged someone like this," I said "So Mike you want to see if we were meant to be?" Jeff asked "Are you sure?" I asked back "Mike I haven't felt this good in a long time," Jeff replied I just looked at him then asked, "What will your brothers think?" Jeff looked at me for a second then replied, "I don't know," "I don't want them to think I was only being nice to you guys so I can get into your pants," I said on the verge of tears pouring out of my eyes. Jeff pulled me into a huge bear hug and cooed, "They won't we've seen how you act around us I know the rest would love the idea of you bagging me," I tried to laugh but my own self-consciousness was still holding an iron fist over me. I looked at him and said, "Ok we'll see what they say, but if the choice is for you to choose between me and you brothers I want you to choose them," "That is not for you to decide," Jeff responded I looked at him then firmed up and calmed myself down; I began a mind focusing exercise to get myself back under control. "I hope you are right," I commented "You and me both," Jeff replied We walked out of the Holo-Room together. Just as we came up to the living room the doorbell began to ring. Jeff tensed up I squeezed his shoulder to reassure him. When, I opened the door to see the rest of the guys standing there Nick with his head held in shame afraid to look me in the eyes. The Drew and Justin both look like they have been through a war judging by the expression on their faces. "Nick if you keep your head down like that you're going to walk into something," I joked They all looked at me with bewildered looks as if they weren't sure how to react. "Come in my friends," I said cheerfully They all looked up at me, and then made their way to the living room. "Ok I take it I need to make myself scarce?" I questioned "No Mike we brought you in on this you might as well stay," Justin commented "No this is a band thing, and something I don't need to be a part of," I said back. "Besides I need a shower," I told them as I ran upstairs before any of them could be I got up and headed up stairs to get a shower. When I came back down the guys all looked beat Jeff was hugging Nick. "So Nick when do you guys head out again?" I asked "Well I am afraid that we are leaving in a couple of hours actually," Nick sighed Apparently I wasn't the only one surprised Nick spoke up, "I got a call from Management last night our new agent will meet us in Chicago," The rest just sighed in disappointment "Hey just remember you all have a place to stay whenever you come to Philly," I told them "Yes we know," Drew sighed Several hours I later stood with my new found friends seeing them off at the Philadelphia International Airport. "Attention passengers of flight 983 your flight will be boarding here shortly please have your tickets, and ID's ready for inspection," The announcer stated "Well it looks as if this is good bye," I told them "We'll be back," Drew smirked "Oh no what will I do?" I mocked "Get ready for a beat down," Nick said pulling me into a headlock and giving me a vicious noogie. In turn I licked his arm "Eew!" Nick yiped After he pulled away Drew gave me a quick hug and said, "We'll miss you and we will be back," "I'll be here waiting," I said softly "Your one in a million man," Drew laughed Justin was next he pulled me into a huge and said, "Now don't go falling off anymore jets ok," I just laugh shaking my head when he let go Jeff was almost on the verge of tears so I pulled him in a hug "You have my number call me day or night," I told him I could hear him whimpering after Drew softly pried Jeff off of me "Come on Jeff we have to get going," Jeff gave me one more squeeze let go then I watched them board their plane stayed until it made its way to the runway watched as it went to max power then took off into the wild blue yonder. Finally letting a small sad sigh out I turned back towards the car garage and left the airport.