Date: Sat, 17 Mar 2018 07:45:39 +0000
From: Willow Lemon <willowlemon@outlook.com>
Subject: THE PAGE AND THE CANVAS, CH. 22

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      CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
      The living room was covered in graphic novels, magazines, and
comics. For the last three days Ali had been pouring over Mr. June's
work. There were tabs on half the pages and a legal pad scrawled with his
notes. I'm pretty sure that he now knew more about Mr.  June than I did.
      The dinner had turned into an all-day affair with an interview in the
morning at Penguin, all day meetings with their editors, and then the
dinner in the evening. The day of, Ali barely touched breakfast. Dressed in
his black Tom Ford, he sat on the sofa immersed in a Galileo Galactic
novel. Closing the book, he held it between his hands like he was praying.
"Okay. I've memorized everything. I'm ready."
      "Ali, is this really necessary?" I had a bad feeling about this.
      "I've got to go. I'll probably be home late."
      "Please be good," I pleaded.
      He came over and held me in a tight hug. "I'm recharging. I need my
Kip love." He kissed my temple. "See you later."
      I'm going to do my best not to run into either of them today at the
office. I'll get to work after school and finish as quick as I could. If I
hadn't just started I'd seriously consider calling in sick. I had more than
a bad feeling about today, it was a complete sense of dread, maybe even
doom. It wasn't good when Ali got single minded about something like
this. And I still didn't know him well, but I don't think Mr. June was one
to be trifled with. I really didn't want to get dragged into this.
      * * *
      I had to smile when I arrived at Penguin and a three-story ad for my
latest book, Bear Days, was on the side of the building. Normally I didn't
care about such things, but I liked that it was the first thing that Kiefer
would see when he arrived.
      "First, could we get a photo of the two of you shaking hands?" Alice
our interviewer asked. We happily obliged her. Kiefer's hand was warm to my
cool. His grip was firm, but not in an attempting to crush my hand sort of
way.
      Our editors stood together at the side of the room. Mira appeared
nervous, which is understandable because she knew me. They were talking in
low voices among themselves, and they must have thought they weren't being
heard, but I could hear everything they were saying. The chief editor of
the graphic novel department, the one that Kip called Chief, commented,
"I'm amazed Mr. Smoak came."
      "Mr. June, too," Mira answered.
      "Did something happen," Chief asked her.
      "I'm guessing it's Donnan's doing."
      On cue, Donnan was in our faces fawning. "Thank you both so much for
taking time out of your busy schedules. This is a rare opportunity, so I
hope you'll chat to your heart's content."
      I smiled and laughed like this was a wonderful idea. Kiefer said,
"Thank you," good naturedly.
      Then we sat down for our interview. Kiefer and I sat in two chairs
across from one another and Alice was to my left. "So, the two of you
specialize in two different media: novels and graphic novels. Could you
tell us your thoughts on each other's work?"
      Kiefer went first. "What always impresses me is that although novels
are composed of words alone, Mr. Smoak's work evokes the colors, the
sounds, and even the smells so vividly.  Above all, his prose is gorgeous."
      Oh, this guy was good. And so fucking fake I wanted to spit in his
face. "I'm honored to hear you say so. Mr. June, I find all your characters
very appealing. And the stories don't just go for laughs; they have deeply
touching moments as well. They pulled me right in." I smiled kindly.
      "Mr. Smoak reads graphic novels?" Chief wondered aloud.
      "I, I'm not sure," Mira sounded perplexed.
      "There's something I've been wanting to ask you," Kiefer entreated.
      "What's that?"
      "Your literary style seems to have changed a bit, starting a year
ago. Was there a change in your state of mind at that point?"
      So, we were getting right to it? A little soon to show his cards in
my opinion, but I suppose that made it easier to play. I narrowed my eyes
and he looked like the cat who caught the canary.
      "Really? I've read all of his books, but I didn't notice that at
all!" Poor Alice didn't have a clue what she was a part of.
      I was all innocence. "Hmm. I can't say I've been conscious of a
change."
      "My personal impression was that what was once as limpid as clear
water had taken on a hint of color. I felt an added richness of
expression." Kiefer was quite limpid himself.
      "Maybe it's love!" Note to self, murder Donnan later.
      "Pardon me?" I sent coolness Donnan's way.
      He was oblivious. "It's been taken for granted that finding new love
is what has always influenced the male artists of this world."
      "Excuse me, Mr. Dorsey, but could you please stay out of this?" Could
one person truly be this noisome?
      But, as I'm sure he was hoping, Alice took the bait. "This is
intriguing! I'm sure plenty of readers are interested in your private
lives. If you don't mind my asking, are you married?"
      "No."
      "No."
      "I'm sure you have girlfriends, though."
      "I'm afraid not," I stated charmingly.
      Kiefer laughed. "No, I have no luck with women."
      "Oh really?" Alice practically had hearts in her eyes.
      "Who cares about authors' love lives?" Mira scoffed.
      "Mira, this is exactly why you're single," Chief told her.
      "Well then, have your love lives, or views on love, ever influenced
your writing?"
      "That's a good question. I think it may have, yes. After all, I
treasure everything that romance has given me in my life." I stared
directly into Kiefer's eyes. "Still, I think that all my life experiences
have fed my work, not just the romantic ones."
      "How wonderful. What about you, Mr. June?"
      "Yes, while my works rarely feature romance, I can understand a
writer's experiences influencing him." He shifted his gaze from Alice's to
mine. "Someone once unconditionally encouraged me when I was at a low
point. I'm who I am today because I met that person and heard those
words. They told me they would love me no matter what." I was no longer
smiling.
      "That sounds just like a proposition to me." Alice was thrilled to
pieces.
      "No, it wasn't like that. They were only cheering me on, truly." He
waved her sentiment away. "I wouldn't have minded if it were a proposition,
though. I'll value that conversation for the rest of my life."
      "I see." I showed him what wickedness looked like in a smile.
      "I have to say today is our first real conversation, but I'm glad I
met you Mr. Smoak."
      "Likewise, Mr. June."
      The tension resonating from us both was tangible. "Damn. I don't know
what's going on, but I wanna go home," Chief remarked.
      "Me too," Mira agreed.
      * * *
      "Aren't they running a little behind?" There was a group talking not
far from where I was making copies. I knew instinctively that they were
talking about Ali and Mr. June.
      "I think they're wrapping up."
      "I just got a text that the interview's over."
      "The sales guys said they're going to greet them first. Let's take
our turn after them."
      I went up to Kim holding my stack of warm copies. "I finished making
copies, and I'm done with all my work."
      "That was fast. Alright then, I guess you can go, then."
      "I've got to finish a painting for a class, so I will. Thanks."
      "Have a good one."
      So, the interview is over? I'd better scram, and fast. I fidgeted
with the strap of my bag as I walked to the elevator. I hoped Ali was
coping okay. I know he hates stuff like this and was only doing it because
he hates Mr. June more.
      The elevator doors opened on the lobby. I was almost out of there
without getting caught up in any drama. Chief and Mr. June were standing
right there. Fuck! Why did I have to jinx myself?!
      "Kip!" Mr. June lit up.
      "Are you done for the day already?" Chief looked impressed.
      "Yeah."
      Just then, someone from another department came up to him and asked,
"Mr. Waters, can I have a minute please?"
      "Sorry, Kiefer. Could you go on ahead? It's conference room 7."
      "Sure, no problem."
      You have got to be kidding me. "Um, where's Ali-Alistor?"
      "I think he has a meeting with his editor."
      God please don't let him see us talking. "I-I see. Well, I hope the
interview went well." I took a step back. "I need to get..."
      He took a step forward. "I didn't think I'd see you. I'm glad I ran
into you."
      Another step back. "R-really? Thanks." Another step forward from
him. "I'll be going now." I faced the door and tried to escape, but he
stopped me.
      "Hey, I thought you might like to see the new figurines going on sale
in two months."
      Could. Not. Resist. I practically snatched the figure of Christian,
the main character of his novels, out of his hands. "Wow! They're selling
figurines?! That's awesome! I'm going to buy all of them!"
      "Just ask editing to give you one."
      "I can't do that. It's the kind of thing I need to buy for myself."
He knew right where to hit me, in my fanboy.
      I was intently staring at the figure, striving to memorized it's
every detail, when Mr.  June said my name. Looking up, he placed his hand
on my cheek. I didn't have time to react, or even for my heart to speed up,
when suddenly Ali was there grabbing Mr. June by the wrist. He was actually
baring his teeth in a snarl.
      In his two fingers, Mr. June held up a tiny red string. "Mr. Smoak, I
was just removing this."
      Like Ali cared. He threw his wrist away violently, and then did what
he always did.  "Kip, we're going home." He took my hand.
      "Alistor! You can't leave!" Mira was angry.
      "We're going home!"
      Instead of heading out the main doors, like I usually do, he started
for the side exit to the parking garage. Donnan stepped out and blocked our
way. "There you are! Everybody listen up!" he called everyone's attention
to where we stood. I slipped my hand out of Ali's. "I just got majorly big
news! Summer Has Come by Alistor Smoak has been nominated as a finalist for
the 56th International Prize for Literary Artistry!"
      Everyone started cheering and clapping. Mira was losing her mind. "It
was?! Oh my god, oh my god! Can you believe it Alistor?! Just being
nominated is a huge deal!"
      Looking up at Ali, it appeared as though nothing could make him
forget about Mr.  June touching my cheek. So, it was ironic that Mr. June
somehow managed to usher us into an empty conference room. "I doubt anyone
will find you here. Donnan's going to be annoying, so let's stay here until
dinnertime."
      "Kip, you go home." Ali looked strange.
      "Oh, okay. But I'll get you guys something to drink. It's still a
while until dinner."
      "No need." Ali wanted me gone.
      But for some reason I couldn't let it go. "It's not a big deal. It's
kind of my job. I'll be right back." I slipped out the door. I grabbed a
litter of green tea and some cups from the closest break room. I had to
hide for a moment from Mira and Donnan walking past.
      "Is tea okay?"
      "Thanks. This is good of you." Mr. June was in a much better mood
than Ali who had a permanent scowl.
      I tried opening the tea, but the lid was really on there. "Let me."
Ali reached for it.
      "I can do it," I snapped.
      "How long have you two lived together?" Mr. June was watching us.
      We both stopped struggling with the bottle. "Uh, it'll be one year in
two weeks."
      "You must get along well. By the way, I forgot to ask you something."
      I finally got the lid off the tea. "Er, yeah?"
      He sat on the table, "Are you and Mr. Smoak a couple?"
      I dropped the bottle of tea and it started pouring all over the
carpet. "I'm so sorry! I'll find a rag!"
      Ali took out his handkerchief and tried to mop it up. "Never mind. Go
home."
      "But..."
      "Just go home!" he yelled at me.
      "I-I'm sorry! Bye!" Mr. June smiled at me. I ran. I ran as fast as I
could. I'm not even sure where I was going, I couldn't pay attention. This
can't be happening! No way! Shit! He found out? How? Fuck, what now? What
should I do? I ran.
      * * *
      Most of the tea was still in the bottle, so I poured us both a
cup. "Sorry about that."  Seeing Kip so upset had calmed me down. It was
time to put on my poker face again, for his sake.
      "No, I'm sorry. I had no idea that would unsettle him so much."
Kiefer still had that unctuous smile I hated. Apparently, it never left his
face. "So, since you haven't denied it, may I assume it's true?"
      "Would that be a problem?" I asked evenly. I offered him a cup of
tea, which he accepted.
      "Kip is cute, isn't he? Months ago, I was in a slump and a few words
from Kip saved me. I can't forget it. I assumed I'd never see him again,
but when we happened to meet again at the signing, I thought, perhaps this
is fate."
      "Fate, eh? Somehow that word doesn't suit you," I asserted.
      "I agree with that, actually. But when he gave me the same
sparkling-eyed, unequivocal 'I love you,' even after months had passed,
that made me very happy. Looking back, maybe it was love at first sight."
      "What exactly are you trying to say?" My heart was twisted in a
vice. I prayed I was misunderstanding.
      "I feel that things like this should be stated clearly
upfront. Alistor, I'm in love with Kip."
      			* * *
      I tried to paint, but I ended up turning something beautiful into
something sinister. I decided to make buns for breakfast tomorrow, so now I
was punching a ball of dough. It was slightly cathartic.
      What should I do? I don't think I said anything to give us away, so
how did he know? It was probably because of Ali's overprotectiveness. I
swear my heart stopped when Mr. June asked me that. Fuck, I'm screwed.
      The doorbell rang. Answering it, Ali stumbled inside nearly
falling. I caught him.  "Whoa! Hey!"
      "Water."
      "Ali are you drunk?" He smelled sweet, like brandy or something. I
helped him to the couch. "This is rare. Are you okay? Should I get you some
aspirin?"
      I got him some water which he downed. "I'm fine. Donnan forced me to
drink."
      "Forced, huh? How did dinner go?" I had already been nervous, but now
he comes home drunk? I was scared shitless.
      "More or less." He loosened his sky-blue tie.
         More or less what? "S-so, what happened after I left? About, you
know..."
      "I dodged the question." His eyes were closed like he was about to
fall asleep.
      "Does that mean everything is okay?"
      "Probably."
      "What does 'probably' mean. I'm totally freaked out right now! This
is a big problem!"
      "I have no problem with anyone finding out."
      "You don't?" I was stunned for a moment. "What about your career, and
your fangirls?  Anyways, it's a problem for me!"
      "Why?" He opened his eyes; his stare was intense.
      "B-because I'm not ready! I mean...it's not like we're doing anything
to be ashamed of, but it's just..." I hated that this bothered me. I say
it's nothing to be ashamed of, so why does it matter so much to me that
people could find out.
      Ali hung his head and I felt like crying. "Tell me, Kip...do you love
Kiefer?"
      "Why do we have to go over this again?"
      He pulled me down to the sofa, laying on top of me, and burying his
face in my neck.  "Ali, I don't want to do this right now. I'm upset, and
you're drunk."
      Hoovering over me, he gazed into my eyes. "Kip, say you love me." His
lavender-gray eyes held so much sadness. Why? We've talked about this, he
knows I'm not ready. "Please.  Say it. Say you love me."
      "Ali, did something happen between you and Mr. June?" It had to
have. Why else would he be acting this way?
      It took him a while, but he answered, "Nothing." He pulled me close
and spoke low into my ear. "I swear I'll protect you. I won't let you go,
no matter what. So, stay by my side." He kissed down my throat. "Say you
love me. I want to hear it."
      His voice was laced with so much heartache. I was so confused. What
was wrong? It scared me; this was serious. "Of course, I love you. Who else
drives me so crazy?" He kissed me and I could taste the heartbreak in
it. Maybe I did have something to be ashamed of. I'd only been thinking of
myself, but Ali had been thinking of me.
      I took him upstairs and put him to bed. On the way, he
rambled. "You're just too gorgeous, Kip. That's why I have to keep my eye
on you. Everywhere we go, men, women...  they all stare at you."
      "Ali, that's nonsense."
      "No, it's true. Your beautiful hair, and the teal is perfect for your
complexion, and it brings out your green eyes. Your sexy tattoos. And your
body! Jesus Christ your body.  You should stop working out, you're too cut,
too perfectly sculpted. Then you'll be less attractive, and I wouldn't
mind."
      "Ali..."
      "And your face. You're stunning, Kip. You really are."
      "Shh. Go to bed now. I got him to lay down where he promptly passed
out. I undressed him and covered him with blankets. I stood staring down at
him in the darkness. I hadn't even congratulated him on his
nomination. What's wrong with me? He had done so much for me and I repay
him with my selfishness and never thinking of him. I know he'll always,
always consider my feelings.
      			* * *
      The next morning Ali wore black, which seemed fitting. He had on a
black, band collar button down and black slacks, and a black mood. "I
thought about this all day yesterday, quit your job at Penguin."
      "I already told you, I can't! Why don't you quit Penguin?!"
      "Do the impossible."
      "You're impossible and I do you all the time." The oven timer went
off and I took the breakfast buns shaped like bears out of the oven. "So,
are you ready to tell me what happened with Mr. June last night?"
      "Never mind," he pouted and left the kitchen.
      "What the hell? You're making me super curious now!" I set the tray
down and went after him. "Um, Ali...congratulations on getting
nominated. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that yesterday."
      He put his hand on my head. "Thank you very much." He ruffled my
hair.
      "If you win, we'll really celebrate."
      "Okay." It was good to see him smile.
      My phone rang. It was the chief. "What's up Chief?"
      "Kip, sorry to bother you, but Kim is off today. Could you go collect
Mr. June's pages for me?" Ali had leaned in and eavesdropped. He was
scowling again.