Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2000 13:55:53 MST From: Jay AKA Calguy19 Subject: Up Dawsons Crack (prt 32-36) Up Dawsons Crack By Calguy Well, once again we return to the world of Dawson's Crack, so to speak. First off, anyone who has not done so yet, I highly recommend you head over to the boy-bands section of this archive, go to the bottom, and read my first celeb story Banging B-rok. It sort of cross references with this one and, so I'm told, is one hell of a story in it's own right. Of course, this is a work of fiction, and does not mean to imply that James Van Der Beek or any other celebs that my appear in this story are gay, straight, or enjoy using leather and electronic devices in combination. I love getting fan mail, although my hotmail account wiped out due to the overwhelming amount of spam mail I get so If you e-mailed me recently I probably did not get it. The e-mail addy is calguy19@hotmail.com, I'm on AOL IM as CalguyJC, and on Microsoft Messanger as Calguy19, so there are a number of ways you can contact me, and I like getting feedback. So lets get this party started again shall we? Part 32 "What's the story with you and James, Jay?" "Well, I've known Joshua Jackson since I was a kid, we met through him, and we're friends." "There's more to it then that." "Why do you say that?" "Because I know you too well Jay. And I saw the way you two looked at each other. There is something going on there." "Like what?!?!" "Are you two sleeping together?" I just looked at him stunned. I never thought he would guess so easily. He must have known me better then I thought. "Why would you think that?" "I saw it in the way you two acted towards each other. There is something there more then friendship." "Fine. You win." "I'm right?" "Yes." "For how long?" "3 months." There was a long awkward pause. Finally I spoke up. "So why does this bother you?" "Because Jay, it worries me." "Why?" "Because... I dated Brian Littrel, and it turned out really bad for us." I sat back, digesting this little announcement. As I said, I had my suspicions, but having Darren suddenly tell me still sort of took me by surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Why didn't you tell me about James?" "That's not fair!" I said, suddenly hurt. "Your right. I signed a non-disclosure agreement with the band. I've already tread a thin line by telling Sandra about it, and I got permission to tell my parents. I didn't want to risk things by telling more people." "Well, that's fair enough. I don't know why I didn't tell you, I haven't told anyone, Josh doesn't even know and he's good friends with both of us." "How did this happen?" I told him the whole story, from our first meeting, to the first kiss, and most of what had happened since. "Wow." Was all he could say. "What about you and Brian?" Now it was Darren's turn. The story unfolded, their meeting, their fight, all leading up to the heartbreaking moment when Brian dumped him. Even nearly a year later his voice was filled with pain as he relayed all the incidents that had happened. "Awh Darren, I'm so sorry." I said, hugging him. "I'm ok. It still hurts sometimes, but it's not as bad now. It was probably for the best, school is a important part of my life and I am doing well." "Well why aren't you with them during the break? You said you still talk to them." "I'll probably work with them for the European Tour that starts next month. But it will be strictly friends. Brian's found someone else." "WHAT?!?!?!" I said, stunned. After the depression that Brian had sunk into following the break up, I couldn't believe he had found someone new a mere 11 months later. "Who?" "Some guy on their crew." "Oh geez." "It doesn't surprise me. We both had to get on with our lives. Gay celebrity relationships with normal people almost never work out. That's why I'm concerned about you and James." "Well I appreciate the concern. Especially after what you went through. I couldn't imagine breaking up with James and having him find someone else. But we have something really special here." "Brian and I had something special too. Just promise me you will be careful, ok?" "I will Darren." "He seems like a nice guy." "He's wonderful." Darren smiled at me and we sat there, talking until nearly dawn about our lives, Brian, James, his happiness and heartbreak, and my relationship with James." Part 33 "It's all a mistake, how long will it take? When the dreams are all gone, how long till you wake?" Ryan Dennis, the lead singer of the opening Edgefest band "Serial Joe" belted out while Darren and I jumped up and down in the mosh pit. Another cool thing was Darren and my's similar taste in music. Ranging from Celine Dion, Sarah Mclachlan and Backstreet Boys to Hole, Offspring and Metallica, we had a wide variety of musical tastes. Edgefest was a lollapalooza-type cross-Canada tour that was in it's 3rd year. Canadian bands like Moist, Edwin and the Matthew Good Band were mixed with bands like Australia's Silverchair and the headliner of the tour, Hole. James had received 3 all-access passes from Courtney Love's agent and he was backstage, while Darren and I were out in the pit with the crowd enjoying the first act. "Thanks a lot for inviting me to this" Darren said, taking a sip of the bottled water that would re-hydrate us during the ten hour rock show under the hot July sun. "Well, I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend it with then you and James, I'm just glad he got the day off." "Yeah, I didn't realize how hard actors work until we were out on the set last week. Just watching was exhausting." "I think that's the same for any celeb though. I mean, look at Backstreet Boys. Between recording, touring, and promotional work I'm amazed you guys had any time together." "Yeah it was pretty difficult at times to be alone. But we found our ways." He said wistfully. Not wanting Darren's thoughts to go back to Brian and bring him down for the day I suggested we head backstage. We spent the next while alternating between Backstage and in the pit. James basically stayed backstage to avoid recognition a d watched from the sidelines. We did however drag him out into the pit for a few songs. With his hat and beard, no one recognized him. "Alright James, your turn." I said, grabbing him under the arms. "Huh?" James said, startled. Before he could even react Darren had him by the legs and we were lifting him upwards. "No, no..dammit you bastards.." he cried as he started to be carried away by a throng of hands, looking around trying to avoid the other crowdsurfers. Finally he came down and fought through the crowd to get to us. "Have fun?" I asked, smiling. "Assholes." He muttered, but the grin on his face said it all... he'd enjoyed himself. Backstage again I ran into one of the most attractive men on the tour. Edwin, the former lead singer of Canadian rock band I Mother Earth had just embarked on a solo career and album. I'd had a thing for him for years and meeting him still made me kind of weak kneed. "Great set man, really impressive." I told him, shaking his hand. "Thanks, that means a lot." "It must be kind of hard trying to get over again as a solo act." "It is, but I'm already somewhat established so it's not as hard as trying to break in brand new." We talked for a bit and then he invited me to his trailer. Not thinking twice about it I followed him, amazed that this handsome star had taken such a liking to me. "Wow, nice setup." I whistled, taking in the roomy comfortable trailer he stayed in during shows. "Yeah, I like it." He said, coming up behind me and putting his arms around my waist. I froze. "Ummm, hi." "Hi" he growled into my ear. "What are you doing?" "Your real cute, ya know that?" "Thanks, so are you, but I have a boyfriend." "Doesn't surprise me, hot young guy like you. But hey, I have a girlfriend, so what's the difference." He said, rubbing his hard crotch against my ass. "So as flattered as I am, I can't really.." "Shhhhh." He said, spinning me around and placing his finger gently on my lips. "Trust me, it'll be something you never forget." "Look, I am seeing someone and this really isn't a good ideaaahhhhh." As I spoke he unzipped me and was going down on me. His expert head nearly made me fall over. "Edwin, stop, I...uggghhhhhh." I cried as I struggled with my conflicting emotions. "Make him stop, your seeing someone. This isn't fair to James" I cried out in my mind. My dick however took over and just continued to fuck Edwin's handsome face. It felt like no time whatsoever when I was laying on the bed, my legs up in the air receiving Edwin's huge 9 inch cock. He was a slow and passionate lover, and when I saw his dick I expected it to hurt, but he allowed me to adjust to it and the sensations were mind numbing. His style of fucking was completely different from James. Whereas James had the exuberance and enthusiasm, Edwin was much slower, more expert and more experienced. I came without touching myself, showering him and me with my jizz. He withdrew, pulled off the condom and jammed his cock into my mouth, and I swallowed as much of his sweet load as I could before giving up and letting the rest spray on my neck. Finally it was over. I just lay there, panting, Edwin next to me. "Wow." Was all he could say. I said nothing, feeling sick to my stomach. "Come on, let's get cleaned up." I just stood in the shower as he rinsed himself and me off, removing the glistening cum from our hairy torsos. Finally fully cleaned he toweled us off. I just stood there in a trance. "Well, I have to get going to do a meet and greet. Thanks for a great time, you're a hell of a fuck." He said, kissing me. I didn't return the kiss. With that, he was gone. I sat down on his bed, naked, put my head in my hands, and cried. Part 34 "There you are. We've been looking all over for you!" Darren said when he found me wandering around backstage in a daze. "Oh? I've been around. I was hanging out with some of the artists in a trailer." "Oh? Cool. Well James is with Hole, Courtney says she wants to see her. Man is she cool." "Yeah, yeah she is." I said vacantly, my mind replaying images of Edwin fucking me. "You alright Jay?" "Yeah, I'm just a little overheated. I need some water or something." "Well there is water over at Hole's bus. Let's go, she's waiting for you." He said, dragging me back towards the little town of trailers and busses. We walked by Edwin's trailer again and I fought back the urge to throw up. Finally I saw James again and my heart broke. He was talking animatedly to Hole Bassist Melissa De Auf Mer and his smile, his sparkling eyes, I realized that I loved him so much, which made what I'd let Edwin do that much worse. Here I was with a guy who loved me, who had given so much to me, who loved me more then anything, and I went and had sex with another guy. I couldn't even use the starstruck excuse because I was dating a star. I had avoided temptation all those nights when James was in the US and I was home, just wanting to be with someone. James and I had slept together the previous night, and it was wonderful, and then less then 24 hours later I was getting fucked by someone who probably fucked another person on every stop on the tour, who had a friggen girlfirend, to whom I was just another lay. Even worse was the fact that James was in the vicinity. I'd done the wrong thing, and the guilt was killing me. "Hey baby!" Courtney cried, breaking up my thoughts. Se gave me a big hug and kiss on the cheek. "How ya doin handsome?" she said, grinning. "I'm not to bad. How's yourself?" "I'm good." She said. "I read about you guys in the paper today. That was an incredible thing you did." "It was nothing." She said, blushing a bit. The day previous Hole's tour bus had come across a car flipped over on a highway outside of the city. While other people just kept driving by, the band had stopped the bus, gotten the people out, flipped the car back over, and allowed the passengers to stay in the bus until authorities arrived. "Well, it really says a lot when people just keep driving by, and someone whose such a stuck up bitch stops." I said grinning. "Fuck you!" she laughed, punching my lightly in the chest. She lit up a smoke and we chatted, and I tried to put what had happened out of my thoughts. But it still lingered there, unwilling to leave me alone. Part 36 "What's wrong?" James asked worriedly. We were in Darren's guest room, as his parents were gone for the weekend Darren had asked us to stay there. For the past twenty minutes James had been trying to get me hard by jerking and sucking me, but to no avail. My dick just lay there floppy. "I don't know. He's just not in the mood today." "Oh." James said. He looked at me hurt. "Something I did?" "No babe. It's not you. But it's been a long day. We're both exhausted, I probably have heat stroke from the sun beating down on us all day. I probably didn't drink enough water at the concert so I'm probably dehydrated too. There could be a million reasons why I can't seem to get hard tonight." I lied. I knew damn well the reason why. My conscience wouldn't let me... not when 8 hours later someone else had fucked me. "Well, I guess." "Here" I said. Gently stroking his erect cock. I put a condom on it and lubed it up. "Maybe this will help." I laid back and lifted my legs, exposing my hole to him. He smiled and shuffled forward on the bed. He slid into me, remarkably easily. I'd thought the guilt would tighten me up, but I guess I was still kind of loose from Edwin's large dick. But I felt nothing. My dick just flopped back and fourth, not reacting at all. My but tingled, but my body stayed the same. I just couldn't seem to get into it. I kept comparing the two. How James was faster, more eager. Although he had improved since the first time he had fucked me, he was hardly an experienced lover. Compared to Edwin knowing exactly what spots to hit and how to hit them, James failed miserably. But because of my love for James, his lovemaking was more incredible and intimate. Also, considering I'd always topped before James, and now Edwin being the second man I'd bottomed for, I had nothing really to compare too. Still, I grunted and scrunched my face up and made the appropriate ooohs and ahhs, clenching and unclenching until finally James came up my ass, shooting into the latex barrier. He withdrew and I rolled off and tossed away the condom. He smiled at me and curled up in front of me. I wrapped my arm around him. "Thanks." He whispered. "Any time." "I love you Jay." He said. "Me too." Soon I heard his shallow, quiet breathing of him sleeping. But I couldn't sleep, I just stared into the darkness. He'd told me he loved me, and my response was "Me too." I couldn't even tell him I loved him. I felt sick again, angry with myself, angry with Edwin, angry at everything and anything. In my arms was a guy who loved me with all his heart, and I blew it. A tear formed in my eye, slid down my cheek, and splashed lightly onto his shoulder. To Be continued. Authors note: I'm well aware most people probably have no idea who Edwin is. I also think most people are going "Jay, what the hell are you doing! Are any of your stories happy?" Well, this is going to keep going and we will see. If you want to check out Edwin (and he is definitely worth checking out... so cute!) his website is www.edwinonline.com . See ya next time! J.