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(NOTE: This story is fiction, and in no way implies anything about the sexuality of the celebrities involved)
It was the first big project that I could really put on my resume as an actor, even if it's only a bit part. My 15th birthday was still a few months away, but after a few cattle call auditions and a bunch of meetings that didn't really go anywhere, I finally felt like I might actually have a shot at doing something that I love. Who knows, maybe I can be one of the boys you secretly sneak peeks at on the magazine covers at the grocery store. Evan Elliott...teen idol. Hehehe, well I can dream, can't I?
I was really excited about this gig, as 'The Walking Dead' was one of my all time favorite shows on television. I thought for sure that they were going to go with this other kid with this really light blond hair, lighter than mine anyway...but they actually chose me instead. Surprised the hell out of me. That lucky phone call from my agent will go down as one of the best I've ever had. I danced on the ceiling from the moment I hung up the phone until the first day I showed up on set to start filming a few weeks later.
I know it wasn't a BIG part or anything, but I was happy to both be an official 'working' teen actor and on the set of a show that I really really loved. However, I have to admit that my intense infatuation wasn't just for the show itself. There was another reason for my excitement levels to be shooting through the roof. Something that wouldn't let me sleep most nights while I waited for the cameras to roll.
You see, I've had this sugary sweet infatuation with this other teen actor, Chandler Riggs, since the show's first season. I have been soooo swept up, so uncontrollably GOOFY, for this boy...that it defies all reason. I don't know what it was that made me so crazy whenever he was on the screen, but I felt a tingly sensation rushing through me every time those diamond blue eyes came into view. I had it so bad that I would actually get short of breath during the episodes where he played a larger role. Something about him made me feel all funny inside. But I loved every second of it. That boy...he does weird things to me.
You really can't imagine what it was like for me to see him in person for the first time! I mean...he was RIGHT there! In the flesh! Close enough for me to reach out and actually touch him. I melted instantly when he shook my hand. He smiled at me! SMILED! Oh God, I nearly creamed myself right then and there. Seeing those blue eyes in person...it was MORE than a dream come true.
Before I even went to the first audition, my mind had created a variety of detailed fantasies where I walked on that set and Chandler fell madly in love with me at first sight. Fantasies where we became secret boyfriends and got together to snuggle up as often as we possibly could. I often dreamed of what it would be like to kiss and gently suck on those sweet lips for just a few minutes of bliss. Actually, I just want to rub noses with him in the cutest way. Just thinking of that and having him smile from the contact is enough to arouse me to the point of getting dizzy. And the thing is, he's SO sweet and personable in real life. He plays such a stoic and hard-hearted character on the show these days, but the second the cameras stop rolling, he goes right back to smiling and being one of the cutest, coolest, boys EVER! The first two weeks that I was there, I was certain that I had fallen hopelessly in love with him. I mean, I didn't want to seem creepy or pushy or anything...but I never took my eyes off of him for longer than a few seconds a day. I couldn't help myself.
I know that he was working. We both were. The director had to spend much more time with him, obviously. He was a main character on the show, while me and the other teens they hired for the next string of episodes were hired to play a bunch of kids who survived the zombie apocalypse by hiding out in our high school and surviving off of cafeteria food. Heh...I can't imagine doing that in real life. I'd rather be devoured by the living dead than have to live off of school lunches for the next year or two. Anyway, my group gets to meet up with Chandler and his adult companions here in the forest, where we try to survive and take care of one another. I don't know if the writers are going to keep us on for more than a few episodes, but that works for me. If it means that I get to be close to my sweetheart for a few months during the Summer, then I'll take it.
I have been working on getting closer and closer to him since filming began in this giant clearing next to a heavily wooded area about an hour drive from my house. I tried to make eye contact when I could. I was nervous, but I just wanted to get his attention and maybe smile or something to show him that I was...I don't know...'interested', I guess. I tried eating lunch with him a few times by sitting at the same table as him, but I was always to nervous to do more then mumble 'hello'. Leaving me to gobble down my food from the catering truck while trying not to shake myself to pieces from the fear of being close enough to Chandler to hear him eating his potato chips. He makes the cutest little crunch when he eats potato chips. After a week, I tried a little bit harder to know him. I talked to him when I could get near him, and he was always polite. Always gave me a smile. But it wasn't really...umm...arghh! I was soooo eager to see if maybe I could get him somewhere alone. Just for a little while. I wanted nothing more than to talk to him, one on one. An actual conversation. Witty banter and giggles and a few tender moments we can truly grow on one another. And if I was lucky...a kiss that was sure to knock me flat in the first three seconds. I was making it my mission to make that happen, and he seemed to start warming up to me in the second week of shooting. He even remembered my name, giving me an occasional, "Hi, Evan." whenever he came out of the hair and makeup trailer. It felt like I was actually making some progress here.
Asa showed up.
And everything changed.
Asa Butterfield. A more 'experienced' actor, I guess. Certainly more experienced than I was. The producers went with someone more recognizable for the role of one of the main boys in our refugee camp. He just showed up on set one day with his pretty face and his pretty eyes and his pretty accent...it just wasn't fair. And he can turn the accent on and off too. He sounds cute either way. How does he do that? Then he's got these big glasses that he wears when he's not filming...but he's still cute. Then he puts contacts on for the show...and he's even hotter than he was before. Once he came to work on the show, everything concerning my Chandler fantasy kind of fell apart.
I couldn't tell if they had ever met before, but they seemed to 'buddy up' almost instantly. Every word that came out of Asa's mouth seemed to either fascinate Chandler or make him laugh. For that whole third week, I watched them bond in a way that made me feel like a total outsider. It was like a 'locked' game of tag on a grade school playground. Chandler didn't even acknowledge my existence anymore. Whenever he showed up for the day, the firs thing he did was look for Asa. Whenever Asa showed up, the first thing he did was look for Chandler. The two of them were inseparable during every break and lunch. And they had a lot of scenes together, so the rest of the boys, me included, were kind of pushed into the background while the two of them got to play off of one another. I couldn't believe it. Asa was stealing all the attention from the boy of my dreams. How is it that he can just walk in here and steal my witty banter and giggles and tender moments? That's not SO not fair.
I kept trying to say hello to Chandler, but all I got was the same polite and professional, "Hey, Evan." I mean, I could have chased him around and tried to force myself on him, but that would have just made me look creepy. Or even worse, like some kind of actor leech who's looking to increase my popularity by trying to muscle in on another actor's spotlight. I hear that happens a lot. They call it 'networking', but it's really just a narcissist's way of avoiding the term 'gaining fame by association'. I don't want to be that guy. I just didn't know how else to approach him. And before I could figure out some casual way to maybe strike up a deeper connection that would get Chandler to notice me again...there was Asa! Brightening Chandler's whole day with his smile, and causing my chest to almost cave in from the misery as a result. I'll never get close to him now.
It was a few days later when I started noticing Chandler's absence from the set. Another day or two was when I noticed that Asa's little disappearing acts seemed to be in sync with Chandler's. As I started to pay more attention, I saw what was going on. It was almost like there was this hidden signal that was transmitted between them. Something that nobody would notice unless they were actually looking for it like I was. It was a wink, a nod, a slightly unnatural smile. Then one of the boys would sort of blend into the background of extras and set technicians. The other boy would wait a minute or two....and then he'd do the same. Sometimes Chandler would go first. Sometimes Asa would take the first walk. But it happened at least twice a day. And they always came back together. Walking shoulder to shoulder. Practically holding hands.
I couldn't really describe what I was feeling inside. It was this weird emotional cocktail of anger, pain, and envy...served raw with no chaser to dull the sting. Every time they went sneaking off the set together, my mind went wild with self induced images of something truly naughty going on. Which was both agonizing and arousing at the same time. Where were they going? What were they doing? I plagued me so much over the next week of filming that I was beginning to forget the few lines of dialogue that I had on this show. I was trying to forget the whole thing, but my heart hurt every second that they were away. And when they came back to set, sharing their sexy little secrets and smiles....it hurt even more. It's extremely hard to hide that on camera and stay in character. I can't screw this up. My agent busted her ass to get me this part. I need to make it worth her time.
I just need to focus. That's all. Just focus.
A few more days of filming pass. I begin to notice that Chandler and Asa sit closer to one another when they eat lunch together now. They stare into each other's eyes for just a second or two longer than normal. Their playful grins have become more subtle, more flirtatious. I've seen Chandler blush a few times in Asa's presence. I don't think they're just buddies. In fact, I'm pretty sure that something funny is going on between those two. And that truly crushed me inside. Chandler was supposed to be mine. I came all the way out here, this was my big chance...and I lost him to someone else because I was too chicken to make my move before Asa got here and made it for me.
It was a Thursday afternoon when I got fed up with this little game of theirs, and decided to follow them to see where they were creeping off to. A part of me didn't want to know. But the voyeur in me wanted to see for myself. So...I waited for the signal. It looks like Asa was taking off first this time. I focused my attention on Chandler Riggs once he left, and I noticed a little something that made my suspicions boil over the top. A slight bulge in the front of his pants. An awkward walk. A look in his eyes that let me know that he was definitely anticipating something.
I stared at him, waiting for him to make his exit from the set while the lighting guys were setting up the next shot. Chandler's eyes met mine for a quick second, and I turned away. I didn't want to, but those sweet blue eyes could be SO intimidating sometimes. So the cowardly act of looking away was more an involuntary reflex than a premeditated reaction.
Then...after a few more seconds, I saw Chandler look around to see if anyone was watching...
...And he backed up to sneak away to join his...'friend' somewhere away from the eyes of everyone else on set.
Ok. This is it.
I secretly took off to follow him, making myself as inconspicuous as possible. It wasn't easy to keep him in sight and not make any noise or allow myself to be seen. But I managed to track Chandler towards one of the near empty trailers that they had parked just at the edge of the woods. He knocked on the door, and I heard a lock being twisted, and I saw Asa open up for him to come in.
Yeah...it hurt. I felt it deep in my chest where my heart was supposed to be. But I kept myself calm. They shared a smile before Chandler climbed into the trailer and closed the door. I heard it lock again, and despite my heartache...I quickly scampered across the short distance between me and the trailer so I could finally see what was going on with those two. I listened from outside the door, but I couldn't really hear anything. I think they were talking to each other, but it was really low. Soft voices. Almost whispers.
I wasn't going to get any info this way.
I looked behind the trailer, and I saw a tree with a few low branches that I might be able to reach from the ground with a well timed jump. So I headed over there, found myself a sturdy branch, and I pulled myself up far enough to look though one of the trailer windows in the back. No curtain. thank the gods for that one. But, unfortunately, the only branch that was thick and strong enough to support my weight and keep me from being seen was too high up for me to see as much as I wanted to. From the angle I was at, looking down into the small rectangular window before me, I could only see the two boys from the thighs down. I could barely tell who was who, except for their shoes. I recognized Chandler's sneakers. That was the only difference.
I watched, and I waited...but I couldn't really tell what was happening. I mean...I saw Asa's feet and Chandler's feet...and they were facing each other...standing really really close, evidently. But they weren't moving. They weren't even talking. I could hear some heavy breathing, though. And then this weird smacking noise. Then...Chandler let out a soft whimper that clued me in on what was going on here. They were KISSING!!! I mean...wow! Oh God!!! Oh WOW! Oh God! Oh WOW!!! Oh GOD!!!
Yes, it hurt. But...I couldn't take my eyes off of them. Especially when I saw Chandler step closer, and Asa's hand seemed to drop down to fondle his supple bottom as they tongue kissed with a forbidden passion that was conveniently hidden away from the world. I was so hard that I'm surprised that I didn't break my neck falling out of that damn tree. My heart was pounding with a relentless thunder in my ribcage, and I didn't blink ONCE as I saw the two boys make out. Such a sexy little secret. Such a romantic little getaway. God, I wish it was me sliding my tongue over Chandler's, holding him close, feeling his affection for me through the taste of his sweet lips. Damn you, Asa. Seriously. Damn you for taking my special boy.
They continued to kiss and hold each other for about five minutes, before I saw Chandler's feet take a step backward. I heard the sounds of belt buckles being undone, and I tried to get myself a better view by moving to another branch. No such luck. Ugh! I wish I could see more! I wish I could see their lips pressed together! That would be sooooo freakin' HOT! I guess I should just be glad that there was a crack in the window so I could hear them. Thank you 'Summer heat' for making that necessary.
I held my breath as I saw Chandler's pants, and then his underwear drop down to his ankles. My eyes widened, and I saw Asa's pants and underwear do the same. Oh God! Are they...are they naked right now??? I covered my mouth to hold back an excited gasp, and even though their pants were still hooked on their feet, I heard Asa tell Chandler, "Lay down. I've been waiting for this all day."
I saw Chandler move back a step or two, and even though I still couldn't see their faces, I saw Chandler lay back on the small loveseat in the trailer, and I watched as Asa carefully crawled on top of him. I could clearly see Asa's shapely bottom as he covered Chandler's young body and slid in between his legs.
Asa began humping him gently...naked genitals to naked genitals. Chandler's legs, still bound by his pants and underwear, attempted to spread his legs as wide as he could to let his teen lover get as much contact with him as he possibly could. I watched as Chandler's hands moved down to take a tight grip of Asa's soft round cheeks as they made determined circles into the sensual cradle he made for him.
More smacking noises. More heavy breathing. More grinding and erotic hip movements. I was so blown away by what I was seeing that it was hard to believe that it was actually happening. It didn't even matter that Chandler was my favorite boy and Asa was getting to live out the details of my personal wet dream right in front of my face! This was something that was absolutely unprecedented in my eyes! I couldn't have dreamed this up if I WANTED to! And I felt myself beginning to hump the tree branch as my eager erection begged me for release.
Both boys were moaning now. Asa had a much deeper, more controlled, moan to express his pleasure. While Chandler had this boyish little whimper, that sounded more desperate than intentional. I saw his legs open wide and his hands squeeze Asa's full and luscious ass to pull him closer. The smacking noises got louder as their sexual fever began to reach its peak...their tongues battling one another as Asa's slender hips pushed into his bashful lover with an urgency that let me know that it wouldn't be long before this whole thing was over with. And I just kept watching. I could NOT stop watching.
Chandler's whimpers got higher in pitch, and he soon broke his passionate kiss to say, "Wait...mmmm...I'm gonna shoot."
Asa kissed him again and giggled. "Already? You get too excited, too fast. Hehehe!" They both snickered for a second, and Asa told him, "Ok, let me swallow it. Don't make a mess."
I'm assuming that Chandler agreed, because the next thing I knew, Asa had slid down to his knees on the floor, and he unhooked one of Chandler's legs from his pants and undies...spreading his legs wide so he could lean in and take his hard boyhood into his mouth.
The sounds were warm and wet. So wet. I watched as Asa's hands traveled, palms down, up and down over the top of Chandler's smooth thighs. I could see the cutest little stomach muscles tighten up in Chandler as he sighed with delight, his hands gripping Asa's shoulders, his shirt wrinkled up in his excited grip. The slow bobbing of Asa's head quickly increased in its heated suction. Chandler began to twitch and wrestle with Asa, an increasing volume of bashful whimpers escaping the back of his throat. And then I watched Chandler grab the top of Asa's head, threading his slim fingers through the boy's soft locks of chestnut splendor. Chandler's thighs collapsed inward, pressing against both sides of Asa's face...but he didn't stop. He seemed to revel in the loss of control, in Chandler's helpless reaction to his inevitable climax. And then...Chandler held Asa's head down as his cute little bottom tensed up and his shaft began to thump with the beginnings of a powerful orgasm.
Maybe it had only been a few minutes, but the whole experience for me was as dramatic as a full three hour, Oscar winning, theatrical event. I could actually feel the sticky and slippery mess that I had in my underwear, just from watching it. Not a full climax on my part, but pretty damn close. I was so breathless as Asa's wet suction became even wetter from the added bonus of Chandler's nectar, filling him up until some of the fresh liquid dribbled from his lips, sliding down to the base of the boy's shaft. He continued to pump himself into Asa's mouth, and Asa just hugged him around the waist, accepting every last drop of his thick and tasty seed.
Was I really seeing this? Could this even be possible?
"Hurry up. Do me. They'll come looking for us soon." Asa whispered.
He stood up, and Chandler didn't waste any time coming down from his blissful high, just to get on his knees and take Asa's warm shaft between those soft, almost girlish, lips of his. This time, I could actually see Chandler's face, and Asa's length...which was impressive for his size.
Chandler held on to Asa's hips as he pushed himself in and out of his mouth, sliding the underside of his shaft over the gentle texture of the boy's tongue. I watched Chandler's eyes glance up at his sexy partner, and grip his ass as he began to suck harder. I guess Asa was more excited than he thought, because it wasn't long before that combination of sensations took him over the edge. He began to push his hips faster, now humping himself frantically into Chandler's warm mouth with a fever. And then, he rose up onto his tip toes, and let out a surprise squeal as the first few jets of hot semen splashed against the roof of Chandler's suckling mouth.
It must have been a lot, because Asa was wiggling with orgasmic convulsions for quite a long time. I saw some of the white offering puddled around the sides of Chandler's lips, but he continued to suck softly and dutifully on the softening member, rubbing his bubbled cheeks behind him as he waited for Asa to catch his breath again.
It was quite simply the most intense, most erotic, thing that I had ever seen in my young life. I don't think I'm going to need pornography ever again. I have enough mental images here to last me the rest of my natural life and beyond.
I saw Chandler stand back up and they held each other close. I hated that my view was so limited, but as I head the smacking sounds again, accompanied by soft moans of pleasure, I could just close my eyes and imagine them having the most intimate make out session known to man.
Then, I heard Chandler whisper, "I've gotta go back. They'll know I'm missing soon."
Asa replied, "Ok. I'm coming." Both boys bent over to pull their pants and underwear up again. "Hey, what did your parents say about you spending the weekend at my place?"
"They said it would be fine. I gave them the whole, 'I want to be a normal kid' routine, and they went for it. Hehehe, so it looks like it'll be just you and me." Chandler said.
"Yes! I am going to do you so many times this weekend. Hehehe! I want us to have sex in every corner of that hotel. TWICE!" Asa grinned, and I saw smack Chandler lightly on the butt before they emerged from the private trailer together. I had to make sure that I was well hidden by shimmying to the other side of the tree trunk. Then I looked back, and sure enough...there they go. Practically holding hands. Smiling at one another, and keeping their sexy secret for another day.
The jealousy began to burn hot in the pit of my stomach. I swear, I wanted to scream. I had to gnash my teeth together to hold it in. I wanted to know what it was like to hold him. To kiss him. To suck the flavor right off of his joystick and have him play with my hair while I did it. What does Chandler Riggs taste like? And what are they going to do with each other this weekend, when there are no adults around and no need to rush back to the set? The pain of the question just kept pinching me from the inside...and my just head wouldn't let it go.
For the next few days, I saw Asa and Chandler in a whole different light. I frowned my face up whenever they showed up for work. Things were busy on the show, and a lot of Chandler's scenes were being filmed all at once. Then I had a few scenes with Asa and the other boys, but I didn't enjoy a single minute of it. Every time I saw Asa's face, I thought about him being naked with Chandler and it drove an iron spike right through my belly button.
Is it silly? Me being so heartbroken over some hormone induced celebrity crush? I don't know. Maybe I should just let it go. Whatever. I've only got a few more weeks worth of work on this series anyway. And then I'll go back to auditioning for bigger and better parts elsewhere. Who knows...maybe I'll find myself a cute little sexy secret of my own someday.
I remember the Summer sun bearing down on us without mercy one Saturday afternoon while shooting a little further into the woods. I didn't have any lines for the scenes we were shooting that day, so I was basically just background. Stand there and look pretty...that's my job today. I was getting hungry and happy to know that a two hour lunch break was about to start soon. The actors finished the scene, the director yelled cut, and then shouted out, "Alright, people! That's lunch! We start again at 3 o'clock sharp. DON'T be late! Time is money."
Thank God. Another fifteen minutes, and my stomach was going to start to eat itself.
Everybody broke up and we were going our separate ways. Some actors were headed back to their trailers, some went to talk on their cell phones in private, and the rest of us slowly stampeded towards the catering truck for some grub.
I had been looking forward to a decent meal for over an hour....but....I saw Asa and Chandler playfully racing one another towards the truck, and I just...I decided to hang back for a moment. They were giggling and having fun and...I just couldn't bear to look at it anymore. I closed my eyes as I walked along the edge of the forest clearing, and all I could see was Chandler clutching to Asa's ripe bottom as he orgasmed in his mouth. Or seeing the boys humping and grinding against each other with their pants down. I imagined Asa sucking on Chandlers tongue, their leaking juices mixing together as Asa rolled his hips between Chandler's legs. The bleached fragrance of release as the boys tensed up, shuddered with reckless abandon, and then went limp in each other's arms. Ugh! My heart! It feels like there's a jagged rock in the center of it, piecing and puncturing it with every beat. I could do without this feeling. Seriously.
I kept walking for a bit. I saw some visitors on the sidelines who were watching the film crew work and took cell phone pictures of the cast. The zombie extras always got a lot of attention. People loved the make up, scary as it was. And even though this was basically a closed set, it wasn't all that rare for some of the locals to come out and watch us film anyway. So I expected a few curious people to be out there gawking at the process...which isn't as exciting as most people think. 30 seconds of the show might take two hours to set up and shoot. It's a lot of waiting around, doing nothing, to be honest. And then when you actually do something, you have to do it twenty times in a row. No excitement there.
As I was walking along the edge of the clearing, I noticed one boy that happened to stand out to me. I mean, there were maybe four or five people watching, tops...but this boy looked really familiar to me.
I kept my eyes glued to him as I got closer. He was wearing sunglasses, black jeans and a blaring white t-shirt. His dark brown hair swept to one side with the most adorable sense of grace. He seemed to be looking for us to actually start filming again. I don't think he knew that we were on break. But it was only when I saw his smile that I was able to recognize him immediately!
Was that really.....? Was that Greyson Chance??? What the hell is HE doing here? My brain nearly shut down when I saw that glorious smile spreading across his face. I mean...was he going to be on the show? What was going on here? Did they cast him??? Ohhhhh my God! If the producers somehow got Greyson Chance to be on this show, I am totally going to freak out! AND...I will seriously wrap Asa Butterfield up in a carpet and toss him off the nearest bridge and into the river before I let him take ANOTHER cute boy away from me!
My heart began to pulse with renewed energy. My palms began to moisten with nervous perspiration. But as I fought for breath and balance...I continued to walk along the edge of the set, and tried not to look like I was giving him the old 'stalker eye'.
I was only ten feet away from him. He never crossed the line set up by the staff to keep wanderers off the set. But he was...he was right in front of me. And I had to fight to keep from staring. What do I do? What do I say? I don't KNOW!!! Why am I still walking! I'm gonna pass him! AHHHHH!!! Speak, dammit! SPEAK!
I think Greyson looked at me, but I couldn't really tell. Those damn sunglasses were hiding soooo much! But I did see his smile broaden slightly as I passed, and I mumbled, "Hey...." under my breath as I walked past him.
"Hi!" He responded. But I just kept walking. It was like I couldn't put the brakes on my feet and stop to actually talk to him. I mean...was I insane??? This is Greyson Chance we're talking about here!
I felt my face screwing up as I took a few more steps away from him. I thought back to the major opportunity that I missed with Chandler. Being scared. Being nervous. Not making my move when I had the chance. And I have NO idea if Greyson is even remotely gay or not..but...if I walk away and don't even try to talk to him...I'm going to regret it the rest of my life. I mean, he's just another one of those boys that throws my hormones into a state of total chaos whenever I lay eyes on him. I've GOT to a least say more than 'hey' to him! For all I know, friggin' Justin Bieber could pop up out of nowhere any minute, and I'll lose another boy to procrastination and shyness. That's pretty much how my luck has been going lately.
So...I found the courage to slow down to a complete stop. Then I turned around. And even though I felt really really WEIRD about going back, I started walking towards him again. I passed him a second time, and I was like, "Hi....." Trying to hold eye contact for a little bit longer. Which was hard to do since he was wearing sunglasses.
"Hi..." He grinned. And I found myself walking away from him again, but in the other direction. What the hell am I doing??? Ok, turn around! Seriously...turn around! And don't just walk PAST him this time! Say something!
I made a third attempt at this, and this time, Greyson started giggling before I even came close enough to pester him with another lame 'hello'.
I forced myself to stop in front of him this time, and even though I knew damn well who he was, I said, "You look familiar to me. Do I know you?" I know it was stupid, but it at least bought me more time than just a few seconds to say hello.
He smiled and took off his sunglasses, those chocolate brown bedroom eyes giving me a bad case of the wiggles at first sight. He said, "I'm Greyson. Hi....again. Hehehe!" He was soooo sweet. Not in a polite way, either. But sweet like...like a brand new pet, you know? He just radiated this wholesome vibe of joy and extreme beauty that infected me the moment I saw him smirk at my queer attempts to talk to him.
I said, "Greyson...Chance. Right?" Might as well be sure.
He actually blushed a little bit. It was so CUTE! He said, "Yeah. That's me." Why was he so timid about admitting it? If I was Greyson Chance, I'd tell the whole world!
I asked, "Soooo....are you...I mean, are you gonna be a part of the show? I mean, did they write you into the series or....?"
He said, "Oh no. I wish! Hehehe! Actually, I was shooting a video not far from the lake on the other side of the forest for my new EP, and I heard that they were filming "The Walking Dead" not far from where we were shooting, so I had to sneak away and see this for myself. I love that show. It's so creepy." I found myself to be a little weak in the knees, as I couldn't believe that he was actually talking to me like a regular person. I was squirming in my own skin, but I didn't want HIM to know that. So I worked to contain my overzealous jitters in this situation and tried to speak without stumbling over my words..
Was he really there alone? I looked around, and he didn't seem to be with anybody at all. Then again, we were in the middle of nowhere. Maybe he didn't see a need for the hoopla.
I said, "Yeah. Me too."
"So are you a part of the cast?" He asked me.
"Yeah. Well...for a little while. It's sort of a side story that was written into the new season, so..." I'm doing it! I'm talking to Greyson Chance. And you want to know something? He is BEAUTIFUL in person! As many pictures and videos as I've seen of him online...they don't do him justice. He's like an angel from Heaven. You can't look into those bright eyes and not fall in love. I mean that.
We did make small talk for a few moments, but he soon said, "Well, I guess I should be going. I'm starving. And I just know that the second I go back to the video shoot they're going to get me all wrapped up in stuff again. But it was nice meeting you...um..."
"Evan. Evan Elliott." I said, and shook his hand. And I ALMOST let him get away from me. I almost said goodbye and let him go back to his video shoot without saying anything else. But instead, I found an ounce of courage somewhere deep down where I never thought to look before. And I said, "Hey! You know...we've got food."
Greyson said, "Huh?"
"The catering truck. I mean, we've got plenty of food here. Good stuff too. I can go over and grab you something to eat. If...if you want, that is."
He said, "Are you sure that you won't get into any trouble or anything?"
I said, "No way. They just dish that stuff out without thinking about it. Everything is free. I'll grab something for you. Any preferences?"
Greyson smiled. "No. No preferences at all. I'll be thankful for whatever I get."
"Then it's settled. I'll fill up a tray for you and share some of the fancy cuisine that we've got around here. Sharing is caring, after all. Hehehe! Wait here, k? Don't go anywhere."
"I'll be right here. Promise." He said.
We exchanged a friendly chuckle as I baked away from him, and then turned to hurry over to the catering truck to grab a few BBQ pork sandwiches, 4 sodas, four mini bags of potato chips, and two salads with three dressings each. Hehehe, the catering lady looked at me like I was crazy, but on a set with a bunch of new teenage boys, I guess they were prepared to go through a LOT of food in a short period of time. So getting the extra rations wasn't too much of a problem for me. And when I brought it back to Greyson, his eyes widened with surprise.
"Oh wow! Dude! Hehehe!" He laughed. "Am I supposed to eat all this? I feel bad. They can't see me being a big ol' chomp monster around here! They're gonna tell everybody I'm a moocher."
Hahaha! Awww, he was so cute! I said, "They won't. Nobody cares."
"Well, I care. It'll look weird." He said.
I thought about it for a second, and I said, "What if we take the trail off set, and go down by the lake. There's nobody around to stop us from having a little private picnic over there." You know, I felt really timid about making a 'move' towards getting Greyson to follow me to some private place. But I guess you can say that I was taking a lesson from Asa, and just went for it. You know? No hesitation this time. This boy is MINE! Heheh...ummmm....IF he's available, that is.
Greyson gave me a sideways look, but eventually said, "Well...if it's ok with you, I guess it's fine by me." And he gave me that golden smile of his. There was something so innocent about it. It wasn't a sexual attraction that I felt. It was just this really fine tuned affection for a boy that seemed....I mean, he seemed....
I can't explain it. But Greyson had the same appeal to him that a worn out teddy bear has to a child when he goes to sleep at night. I just wanted to be close to him. It was much more subtle than the inflamed emotions of a horny teenager. It was like...that cute and cuddly boy next door that you gave in to over time, realizing that he was the most perfect person to ever cross your path. As he and I walked away from the 'Walking Dead' set, and Asa and Chandler's....love, ugh....I found myself actually taking comfort in Greyson's company. Something about his personality made me smile.
We traveled off on our own through the forest, and eventually got to the lake that I was looking for. It gave me a thrill to hear Greyson say, "Whoah....it's beautiful." I think I nearly fell over with the swoon that enveloped me at that moment. Hehehe, Chandler, Asa, Greyson...I think I have a brown haired cutie boy fetish! No biggie, I think I can deal with that.
I gave Greyson some of my shared lunch from the catering truck, and he ate it with a smile. I take it that he approved! Hehehe! And now he didn't have any reason to run off from me like he was planning to do earlier. We sat down on the shore of the mini lake, and just shared a few quiet moments with one another.
Yes. this is what I wanted. This was the kind of thing that I was searching for.
Greyson smiled at me, and he said, "Thank you, Evan. This is nice. My schedule gets really cluttered and frustrating sometimes, but...sitting here with you, enjoying a few moments of silence, looking at the peaceful waves on the surface of the lake...it just makes me feel good. I can't tell you how much I needed this today."
"Really?" I grinned.
"Yeah. I've been working myself to death lately. It sucks. I mean, I have a new album that I'm working on, and I get to really speak my mind on it, you know? The label gave me more room to just be me. Write the songs that I want to write, make the kind of music that I want to make. But...I think I'm going to get dropped soon. My music isn't exactly 'teen pop', you know? And that means that it doesn't make the kind of sales that I need to keep my investors afloat."
Feeling bad for him, I said, "Damn. That sucks, dude. I've heard your music, and I honestly love everything you put out. I think it's genius."
"Awwww..." He grinned. "Thanks, Evan! My agents think so too. But...you know...it's a business, just the same. So we'll see. I mean, better that my label drop me than have the label go bankrupt and a bunch of people suddenly find themselves out of work just because of me. And I'd rather find my own little niche in the business than have them change who I am as an artist. So...I'll be patient. It'll happen. And when I make it, I'll do it my way. I don't think my true fans would have it any other way."
The more he talked, the more infatuated I became. Not like the whole Chandler thing. This was different. this wasn't a big fantasy made up in my head. No...Greyson was real. He was sweet, and funny, and he truly found something interesting about me. He paid attention to me. He hung on every word I said. And...even though I didn't want to get my hopes up, he had these.....mannerisms that made me feel like I had a chance. You know? Gestures and vocal cues and this little twinkle in his eye, that gave me a serious gay vibe. It was a huge red blip on my radar...and I couldn't ignore it. Even if I didn't say anything out loud.
We talked, we giggled, we sat beside one another, the tranquil waves of the lake enticing us to maintain a soothing smile the entire time that we were together. Time began to disappear. And the same infatuation that I felt for Chandler just a week ago...began to manifest through my interaction with Greyson instead. It....it healed me. That awful ache inside...Greyson's smile made it all go away. Maybe it was temporary, maybe it wasn't. I just know that I got just as much of a thrill out of watching Greyson eat the slop that I got from the catering truck as I did watching Asa and Chandler making whoopee in that trailer. I think I could watch him eat stuff for hours on end. Hehehe, why am I such a sucker for love?
At one point, Greyson asked me about acting on the show, and stuff about being on set. I told him that it was fun sometimes, and not so fun other times. He responded with, "I know how you feel. I love music, and I love traveling and stuff...but performing can be scary sometimes. I mean, all those people...it's frightening. But you can't let that show on your face you know? I have to go out there, each and every single night, and pretend that I'm fearless. And...I'm not. I can't let them know that...but it's the truth." I got a bad case of the butterflies, just hearing him tell me something like that. "Sometimes...it's frightening to think that...I can't be myself, you know? Sometimes, I feel like other people won't understand. And....I guess I really want them to understand."
I suddenly took notice of the moment. I was sitting on the edge of a sparkling lake, near the trees behind us, talking to someone that I admired and was truly attracted to. When was I going to get another opportunity like this?
I looked over at Greyson, who was staring at the lake with a dreamy gaze at the moment. My heart went out to him, and even though I had nothing to tell me whether this was going to be safe or not...I leaned to the side, and I lightly kissed Greyson on the cheek. A peck. Just a little something that I couldn't control, but didn't want to go overboard with.
He blushed instantly. "Hehehe, what was that for?"
"I guess it was just a little something to tell you that...I understand." I said.
Greyson gave me a sideways look, as if he were trying to figure me out. Then he said, "You know...I don't want to mix things up in my head, but..."
Before he could finish his sentence, I forced myself forward again, grabbing Greyson on both sides of his smooth young face, and pulling him to me to connect my lips to his. It was CRAZY for me to be doing this, but after the Chandler episode, I was compelled to sprint through the teenaged bullshit and just go for it. And to my shock and awe...Greyson didn't move away from me!
Instead, we broke the kiss, and I looked at him, searching his eyes for some kind of horrible homophobic rejection.
I didn't get one.
Instead, Greyson giggled out loud. I wasn't quite sure how to take that at first.
I said, "I'm sorry. That war really...um...that was wrong..."
But Greyson said, "No. It wasn't wrong. A little unexpected, but....I won't deny that I haven't been thinking about it since the first time you past me. I just thought it was a...weird infatuation. You know?"
I said. "Wait...so you don't mind?"
Greyson blushed, and said, "No. I don't mind. Just...I'd love it if you gave me some warning next time."
"What if the next time was right now?" I said. "Would that be....cool? Or whatever?"
He giggled and said, "Umm...I don't know. I guess."
With an awkward movement of silence, and a flutter of butterflies in my stomach going wild with each passing second, I said, "Cool......" And before I knew what I was doing...I leaned in to kiss Greyson gently on the lips. An experimental kiss at first. Then with an intensifying passion that I think surprised the both of us.
Perhaps it was my past failure at intimacy that created this monster in me. Perhaps it was just Greyson himself that brought out the lion in me. Who knows? But as our tongues mingled and I felt his hand reach out for mine...I knew that I had found the sweetheart that I had been looking for. Maybe it will take time to build it into something truly special, but for now...I just needed his kiss. Greyson's kiss.
And when we found a moment to breath again, he grinned and said, "You know...I'll be filming my video for the next few days, but after that...I mean...why don't you give me your number or something? Maybe we can get together some time."
Hehehe, he was sooooo bashful about asking. It made me smile.
I said, "Yeah. That would be cool. I mean...I have to finish filming here, but...I'd like to hang out some time."
He said, "Cool. Well, I'm between labels at the moment. So...it would be good to pass the time. You know..with someone....'cool'."
Did he just say that to me??? Really! Jesus Christ!!!
So that was the moment that changed my life. I didn't get Chandler Riggs. I mean...I guess he was already taken. But you won't ever catch me saying that I've got a problem with having Greyson Chance in my corner! I was pretty sure that he was going to punch me in the face when I kissed him...but he didn't. He didn't. And when these last few weeks of filming 'The Walking Dead' are done....who knows where we'll go from here. All I know is...I came to this production hoping to find true love....and I think I found it. Just not in the place that I was looking for it.
I love you, Greyson!
Don't wear any underwear when we get together again. It'll only get in the way. Hehehe!
This is Evan Elliott....
And I'm happy. Truly happy.
Kisses to you all. And wish me luck!