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~*~ A Stem of Emotional Scarring ~*~
Inside his hotel room it is lifeless without Justin here to keep him company and make him feel good. It was short-lived. He is still conditioning and feels as lonely as he has ever been. The fight between them was brutal and Bryant wants to take it all back and explain himself but he fears the time for that may have already passed. It is dark and another hard day of training is behind him but Kobe is upset and sore. The thought of calling the young singer is constantly in his mind but he does not know what to say. Their relationship cannot get that deep that fast. It is not possible. But impossible seems to be only a state of mind whenever Timberlake is around. Everything that night caught him off guard but there is no denying the way he makes him feel. He is unable to. The star baller rests his duffel bag near in the foyer and forgets it before looking for something to eat. He wants a shower and food.
The pressure is always there to remain at the top. To always be the face and talent behind the Los Angeles Lakers franchise. It is an enormous burden Kobe Bryant has to carry with pride and willingness. Though no one but him knows the strains and demands which goes along with being a franchise player. His whole career is dependent on him remaining the best and there is only so much conditioning can do to enhance his performance. He is not addicted. It is just a momentary thing to get him through. Bryant gets upset just thinking about his last conversation with Justin and how the singer left him alone after it. Lying on his bed, he wonders what his boyfriend is thinking about or even where in the world he is. Kobe shifts to his side and his eyes inadvertently focus on the small table by the bed. A clean needle is there sitting still. He angrily swipes his large hand and the needle goes flying to the floor.
When he gets up in the morning, the unused needle is still on the floor but the basketball star picks it up and just stares at it for a long while. He does not need it but he cannot or is unable to let it go. Kobe feels himself getting upset and hurt all over again so he takes it into the bathroom and out of his sight if only momentarily. The place where Timberlake found it and he can only imagine what was going though his boyfriend's head that night. Another day of hard training will happen for him as he cannot afford to go without it. The Los Angeles Laker eats something small for breakfast because his appetite is lost to him and leaves the room shortly after. Last night, Justin was the last thing on his mind and this morning, he is the first. It is affecting him in so many ways and Kobe is unsure of why he is letting it. Because the things he said to him were rude, uncalled for, and certainly not true. Boyfriends.
It is hard to hone his skills when his mind is in turmoil over both valuable relationships in his personal life. And now there is absolutely no one to talk to so he really is alone. This is his entire fault for pursuing something with the R&B singer. He should have ignored his instincts and remain committed to his girlfriend. But he cannot regret it because his instincts are right. Justin is unlike anyone else he has ever met. Even Vanessa. His teammates around him can sense the distance and his coaches and trainers are not oblivious either. Bryant is off his game but no one knows why. Kobe's shots are missing and a huge part of his confidence, which some mistake for arrogance, is ripped away from him. This is what the steroids make up for; that small part of him that is insecure and keeps telling him that he will never amount to anything. It is in his father's voice and it screams over and over inside his head.
The drug silences that voice and allows his confidence to flow through again, resulting in his game being at its peak. Kobe's father's voice has haunted him ever since he was six years old and it gets worst with the passing day. That once small black ball of despair and regret and shame has his father's face, his exact features and it only grows and never wavers. It only spews toxicity that can only be stopped with more toxicity. Steroids have been his answer to prove his father wrong and to shut him up. To keep that face buried far away inside so he never has to look at it. No one knows. The team is calling to him but he is not paying much attention because his thoughts have him wrapped. Bryant is unaware when the ball is taken from him but when an obnoxious whistle sounds against his eardrums, everything crashes and burns. And Timberlake was so good to him. He was open and honest about it all.
"Bryant---front and center now," the head coach in charge of conditioning calls him out and away from the pack.
"Yeah coach?" he asks while the rest of the team dismantles and heads back to the locker room for a deserved break.
"What was that?"
"What was what coach?"
"Just because you already make millions doesn't mean that you can just fuck practicing," the short but built man criticizes. "There are thousands of young and up-in-coming players that will jump to take your spot without a second glance."
It is the very same thing his father used to tell him when he was growing up and it threatens to shatter an already fragile confidence. Bryant cannot recall an instance where the man gave him any type of encouragement as a proper father should. He was never a caregiver and they never had a traditional relationship. He always believed it was him. That he was not good enough to be his father's son. Maybe it is true. Maybe he is not good enough. He just stares at the shorter man in front of him and takes in all the harsh words because it is what he will always do. Kobe simply takes the words and unhealthily stores them away in his subconscious. Where his father eats away at him and why he uses steroids. The feeling of euphoria the baller experiences when the drug is in his stream runs parallel to only one thing; being with Justin. But even the songster's orgasmic body fails to match up at times like these.
"I know---I know," the star basketballer replies lowly.
"Then what's wrong? You've been nonresponsive for the past few sessions. Missing baskets, college steals, careless mistakes---"
"I don't know."
"Get it together Kobe. I don't need you bringing girlfriend drama or any other drama to practice. Understand?" he warns.
"Yes sir," comes the curt reply.
Kobe Bryant says the last words and the coach walks off leaving him alone on the court. Everyone has disappeared and he does not want to enter the locker room because the team will come down on him. If one person is slacking then the whole team has to suffer through more hours of conditioning. His teammates cannot be happy with him. He makes his living from being a basketball player but he feels like a stranger on the court right about now. The place that has and continues to make him rich and famous. The court and mechanics of the game are unfamiliar to him. He walks off the wooden surface and to a bench at a corner of the stadium-like room. Desperation is in his skin to do it but he cannot. He has not been able to poison himself ever since Justin left him. The night he initially thought that everything was going to be alright and he would have his boyfriend to hold on to when he slept.
The team usually takes at least an hour to relax their sore muscles and eat lunch and just enjoy the free time before they have to get back to pushing their bodies to their maximum limits. He wants to call Justin if only to hear his voice to get through the rest of the long practice. Conditioning went by so much quicker the day after they were intimate because Kobe knew the singer was at the suite and waiting for him so he had something to look forward to. But not now so it is harder. The basketballer is in no mood for congregation with the rest of his teammates so he will spend this lunch break alone and deep in his mind. A needle has not touched his body since he last touched Justin's because he keeps thinking about the R&B singer whenever he gets desperate and he loses the will to go through with it. It all links back to that one memory Bryant has. The one memory that is the cause for everything.
It was the first time he was introduced to what he would later become dependent on to relieve the painful memories of his overbearing and mocking father. The bright California Sun shone into the many windows of his luxurious mansion as Kobe sat in the great room and looked at a vial on the nearby table as if he was confused. As if he did not know what it was but that was a lie. Everything was made clear to him before he was even able to reach that point. The liquid inside was clear and settled neatly next to it was a syringe. Something which he always hated since childhood so there was definitely irony there. The basketballer had everything he needed to enhance his game to the maximum and beyond in front of him. Bryant could finally prove himself to the one person that was not a fan of his. The one person he wanted more than anything to be a fan of his. To be proud of him.
Vanessa was out of town visiting her parents so he had the house entirely to himself for the weekend. It was perfect because she was never going to know about this. No one was. Kobe was able to secretly get the poison through the mail with his identity remaining completely anonymous. Involving others would have only opened the door to blackmail and scandal. No one was ever to know he was about to use a performance enhancing drug to further his game. His insignificance in his father's eyes was going to be over and he was going to finally have the support he so desperately craved as a child and still did even now. Everything was a secret. The phial silently looked back at him and was waiting for release into his bloodstream. The dark thoughts were surrounding Bryant like so many times in the past. There was a way out now. The only way was to step forward.
Bryant's fingers were shaking and stumbling as he reached over and grabbed the small vial of liquid to get to work. He wanted the voice to stop. It was his only goal. And this was going to accomplish that. The voice was going to stop and approval gained. The star baller grabbed the needle from the now empty coffee table and stared at it before he was finally able to go through with it. The sharp point reached the specialized surface of the bottle and, with a little pressure, the needle went in and mingled with the liquid. Kobe concentrated thoroughly and he slowly extracted the poison out of its receptacle and into the body of the syringe. It was expensive and promised to be undetectable by any test currently in use by the various associations. One jar contained just the dosage he needed for a solid two weeks of performance. It was his vitamin now and had to be taken religiously.
The Los Angeles Laker rested the empty bottle back on the coffee table and just looked at the syringe filled with the expensive liquid in between his fingers. The sharp point made him even more anxious than he already was but it was for a good cause. So he had to be brave and trust only in himself. No one was ever going to understand so it was best to never speak about his reeling emotions again. He was not sure of what he was about to do as his thoughts were lost to him. It truly was the only way he could fully commit and go through with it. There was no sleeve to roll up because he was in a tank top so his skin was ready to be penetrated. Kobe became mindless as he lined the needle to his muscular bicep and began to stick himself. He knew now that he would always hate needles but it was going to get the voice out of his mind. A very small sacrifice or pain to pay for a lifetime of distress.
It mixed with his blood within those first few seconds and shot throughout the length of his body after the first thirty minutes the act was committed. Nothing felt different but it was never supposed to. It was going to make him the best, even better than himself. And that was all that mattered. Being better than the best was surely going to garner him some new fans. Kobe knew it was going to get him as a fan. It was done for the day and Bryant felt sick to his stomach now. His mind was black and his weakness allowed him to stick himself with a needle filled with poison. He just poisoned himself. He did not know which emotion to feel first or which one was even valid. His head was surprisingly focused and alert considering that convincing himself to actually go through with it took so much out of him. Kobe got up and went to the kitchen to find himself something to drink. He suddenly felt lonely.
The basketballer sat alone well into the night with no contact from the outside world. He did not deserve it after the betrayal to himself and the fans. His cell phone rang numerous times; he heard as it called to him from a few rooms away, but every single ring went unanswered. It had to be Vanessa or maybe one of his coaches or teammates. None was going to be returned. At least, not now. The darkness blanketed his exclusive gated community and the house was completely darkened as if no one was home. The only light that streamed into the house was that of exquisite streetlamps and the waning crescent moon. Bryant sat in the same spot he poisoned himself earlier and never got up expect for that once. Kobe wanted Vanessa to hold. She could not reassure him about it though because she can never know. No one would. And that was the promise he had to keep to himself. To tell no one.
Within the first month of taking the regimen, Kobe Bryant felt the effects of the translucent liquid in his system. The shots were second nature to him now because of its addictive nature and he had gotten used to the needles piercing through his skin. His speed, strength, and overall stamina were increased drastically and he never knew it could be this way. The world was going to take even more notice of him and his skills. Kobe's raw power was uncompromised and his game was shaping itself to be legendary. Vanessa was not able to pick up on anything because he was able to keep that part of his life so secretive. She never knew the devious act that took place in their house. He was betraying her and sometimes was not able to look her in the eyes at times. But that all passed as he become an expert liar. Bryant's first game with the steroids in his body was against the Denver Nuggets.
His body felt a rush and he felt like he was on top of the world; his game. Blood was shooting through veins at alarming rates and sweat drenched his away uniform from all the running throughout the court. His shots were fierce and almost nearly missed, as if calculated. Kobe kept sinking one three-pointer after the other and felt an extra rush to have Vanessa on the sidelines cheering him on. She was there whenever he allowed her to be because it was a corruptive world. His heart was racing faster than it ever had and he felt a little unsure for a brief moment before he became lost in the game and his streak. The voice was going to stop now. Then he could stop taking the drug. The crowd was up on their feet for him and soon everyone was taking notice of the superb game he was playing against the Nuggets. The ball was almost always passed to him and he barely ever passed it back to anyone.
Shaquille O'Neal kept telling him to pass the ball when he was open on occasions but it never happened and his frustration grew. It felt like Bryant was a one man team who was singlehandedly carrying the rest of his men to victory. Every time the camera was on him, he had the ball. A very high percentage of his shots sunk into the basket. He was running and defending at a speedy rate. Muscles twitched and heated friction between them caused him to move faster and be more powerful than anyone had ever seen him. Kobe disregarded his teammates and continued slamming basket after basket to keep their scores up while the other teams' was at a standstill. The game was going to be in the record books for sure. And when it was over, he was still on his rampant high that his body could not come out of just yet. Kobe's energy felt everywhere and his muscles wanted to do more.
"What the hell was that?" the giant O'Neal screamed at him when they were in the locker room after the game.
"What the hell was what?" he calmly responded while sitting on the cold bench with his heart still furiously going in his chest.
"You didn't fucking pass the ball to anyone!"
"What does it matter Shaq---we won the game didn't we?"
"This is some fucking shit---"
"Bryant now---" Kobe heard the voice of the team's coach behind him.
He left a more than pissed off Shaquille O'Neal behind and walked over to a private corner with their coach to see what he had to say. The game itself was exhilarating and getting under his teammate's skin was fun in a distorted way. Bryant felt certain players' eyes on him throughout the journey but it was no bother to him. None of them knew what he had going on internally or how much of a struggle it was for him growing up with that man that was his father. None of them were going to understand why he needed this. The banter in the locker room was great as players were in various states of undress scrambling around to take showers, gather their things, and leave the venue. Kobe silently walked until they were where they needed to be to talk. He looked down at the ground shortly before the shorter man in front of his cleared his throat. Their eyes were connected for the beginning.
"I've never seen anything like that in my twenty-something years of professional basketball---" he began by saying.
"Your game today. What was that about?"
"---A lot of practicing. And I'm eating my vegetables coach," he tried to downplay his stellar performance so as not to arouse suspicion.
"Bryant---I'm liking this new you. Keep it up and we'll take the championship again," the head coach praised him.
"Hit the showers and get out of here."
Bryant was not expecting to be commended for his performance but the compliments felt good at first because there were great opportunities to pass the ball to the other men but he instinctively chose the hard way and drove through opposing men to grab points. He was singled out for playing the best out of the rest of his teammates and the verbal altercation with his teammate Shaquille O'Neal was long gone from his mind now. Most of the men opted not to take showers and left and he was about to do the same. Vanessa was waiting for him so he quickly stripped out of his clothes in a practically empty locker room and used a towel to dry his damp skin before slipping on a tank top and jean shorts. Kobe unkemptly stuffed everything else into his duffel back and left. His high that day would come to be matched many times in the future. And it was only the beginning of what was to come.
It is one of his teammates that snap him back to reality because practice is back on and it seems like everyone is waiting for him. A lot of eyes are on him and he hopes the coaches do not pull him aside again to scold him about his distracted performance. Bryant suddenly does not want to condition anymore nor does he want to be around all these people. There has to be time for him to think about what his next move will be with Justin. Something has to be said or done to get him to come back. To at least get them to talk again. He is around so many others but he feels so alone like he was on the court earlier. The other men put their game faces back on and so does he. There is less conflict on the team since Shaquille O'Neal went to the Miami Heat. He and Kobe were the two main ones who argued. Practice drags on until the Sun dissolves below the sky and darkness drapes up above.
His ride back is silent because his thoughts are in control and he is concentrating on the road to reach there safe. Practice is becoming harder and longer. The baller misses his girlfriend Vanessa. He misses Justin. The streets of Detroit are surprisingly clear right now as he speeds back to the hotel to take a shower and get something to eat. Then he can drop onto the bed and sleep until he has to get up and do it all over again. His mind drifts in and out of numerous flashbacks and he is not paying much attention now. But he is almost there so it is not a big deal. Kobe sneaks up on the parking lot of the hotel and uses a service entrance because he does not feel like being seen by too many people at the moment. Mainly fans that will want autographs and pictures with him. The elevator ride is also silent up and he gives up trying to feel better. How Timberlake looked at him after that fight keeps him in knots.
When the Los Angeles Laker enters his room, delectable aromas immediately surround his nostrils and bombard his stomach. Someone is cooking and it smells heavenly. And then just a sliver of hope gashes through his body that it could be him. Maybe he came back and wants to talk through everything. But he remains cool and leaves his stuff in the same place it always resides. Kobe then closes the door behind him and makes his way through the long foyer leading into the grand room before turning sharply into the kitchen. Vanessa has her back to him and is busily cooking as his tall frame goes unnoticed. Bryant simply stands there and stares at her. Her beautiful shape is hidden by clothes and her long hair is slickly tied up on a bun as she works. He admires her. He loves her. Kobe clears his throat after observing for seems like an eternity. It is to get her attention.
"What are you doing here baby?" he asks.
She spins around and smiles before, "Kobe---I wasn't expecting you for another hour."
It seems like all the pots on the stove are forgotten because she walks up to her man and kisses him sweetly and passionately at the same time. There cannot be turmoil between them too. Going through everything with Justin is hard enough but he is determined not to have any arguments with his girlfriend. They will stay on great terms unlike when he left. And Kobe will get back on great terms with the young singer he has come to adore so much. The baller indulges her lips with his own because he misses human touch. Misses the touch of someone on his lips and hands roaming his body. That contact that cannot be gained or recreated anywhere else. Bryant rests his hands on the small of her back as their tongues intertwine and make love. The kiss that was once held together by mutual attraction falls apart because Vanessa remembers that she is cooking and has to go back tending to the pots.
"I wanted more---"
"I'm cooking baby. You look tired," she concerns.
"Practice was long today."
"I don't see why you need to condition---you're one of the best."
"Thanks baby," the Los Angeles Laker smiles to her while making his way over to the living room. "But it's for everyone---not just the new guys."
"I know. It's so hard on you though."
"Been doing it for years now. I think I'll manage," Kobe responds with a comfortable smile. "I like this surprise. I've really missed you."
"I just thought you needed something special. You're a special man Kobe---you always have been."
Vanessa's compliments bullet through him and makes his stomach turn because of his true nature of dishonesty and egocentrism. But it is not like this when he is with him. Things just flow so naturally when they are secretly together. She has no idea that he is using steroids or that he is, or was, in a twisted relationship with the singer Justin Timberlake. A relationship that her boyfriend is fighting with everything he has to get back and be a part of once again. Her words cut into him and he suddenly feels guilty wretched and lonely and wants to escape from where he is. These feelings are becoming stronger and starting to get into him. Once again, Kobe Bryant banishes them into nothingness; at least for the while anyway. He sighs lowly before getting up from the sofa and making his way into the bedroom. He needs time to reevaluate himself and if this is what he truly wants for his life.
"I'm going to take a shower babe," Vanessa hears him holler from the private chamber.
After an extremely long shower, the star basketballer emerges to find a pair of shorts and a plain t-shirt to cover his naked body. But it will never cover his raw emotions or the fact that he is longing for another man. Things are just too complicated to be explained. Or even if they could. The aromas are as strong as ever and they are making him hungry as he walks back out of the master bedroom and into the kitchen. Vanessa busies herself once again in finishing preparing dinner for the two of them while he tries his best to help her. It is a challenge because Kobe does not know his way around the kitchen and he seems to only be getting in his girlfriend's way. It is cute though because while Bryant may be clueless when it comes to the kitchen, he is still willing to offer help or do anything she might need. They kiss a few times while she still attempts to finish up dinner for them both.
Changing channels on the overly large flat screen television in front of them, Kobe Bryant sits up and rests his head back on the comfortable sofa of his suite's great room while Vanessa's head resting on his strong shoulder and her body cuddled up close to his. They are both trying to find something interesting to watch since neither of them actually has time to watch television. Nothing worthwhile is going on so he continues to flip the channels until his heart nearly stops in his chest. Or it is too heavy to pump blood. The channel settles on MTV and Justin Timberlake's newest video for SexyBack is going on. Kobe just stares at the screen as if he could touch the singer. His boyfriend. It is a curse. A vicious curse that will threaten to break him. Vanessa looks at it and they both watch the remainder of the video in silence before it cuts to a commercial. His heart can finally breathe again.
"He's certainly come a long way from that boyband---" she comments.
"Yeah I guess---" he says calmly as he flips the channel yet again.
"Let's go to bed. I know you have to be up early tomorrow."
"I'm not tired yet---"
Vanessa looks devilishly at her man before responding, "Who says we're going to sleep?"
His girlfriend uses the opportunity to take advantage of him and her true motive is discovered. She eases her way up his towering body and begins by licking his ear. His spot. Kobe lets out a soft sigh and relaxes his body into the sofa more because he wants the attention but does not want it to go as far as she does. Not right now. Before things get too far, Vanessa backs off and grabs his hand in an attempt to lead them into the bedroom. The baller lets her control him in every way a woman can control a man because he does not want to be intimate now. But he is forced to as it would arouse suspicion because she thinks he has been celibate ever since leaving their home in Los Angeles to come to conditioning. This, of course, has not been the case. He follows Vanessa into their bedroom and she shuts the door behind them. The only light entering the room is that of the Moon and even that was weak.
They end up on the bed with Vanessa on top of him kissing his ear and neck now while straddling his body. Just like he did on this same bed. No. These thoughts--- Bryant has to keep his cool and go with the flow of what he knows is about to happen and push Justin out of his head. Even though he wants him right now. Even though they slept together on the very bed he is lying on right now. The way she touches him makes him feel like the luckiest man in the world however. It is hard thinking about them both. But he will not think about Timberlake right now. He cannot afford to. It is not fair to either himself or his girlfriend but he cannot stop caring about them both. Kobe falls into everything she is doing to him because it feels great and his mind is off everything else that is going on in his world. It feels like love when their lips connect and the way he touches her arms and strokes her hair.
Tongues slip in and taste forgotten dreams as they engage each other for the first time in weeks. Their arguing over the same issue to come in between their relationship hinders intimacy at times. But he is not ready to get married and settle down. Not right now with his career being almost at its peak and his evolving feelings for the beautiful singer. Bryant's hands find the top button of her shirt and wastes no time undoing it to get her top half naked. She easily slips out of the blouse to reveal a black lace bra containing her perfect breasts. Her skin glistens and shakes under his well-known touch and she smiles to continue encouragement. Her boyfriend licks her neck and plays with her hair while both her legs lay astride his well toned body. Kobe cups her breasts and sensually touches her there while she throws back her head and moans as if she is performing a private dance for him. Him alone.
Vanessa takes his huge hands and gently guides it down her trim body and it brings her grave pleasure. She controls each of his fingers and guides them to every part of her upper body in an erotic dance of passion entwined with love and lust. Kobe's hands on her bare torso makes her want it even more and keeps her tantalized with his touch. His scent. His intoxicating love. She wants him more. He quickly maneuvers out of his shirt and throws it away as she gently grinds against his stiffening manhood. A small grunt escapes the baller's lips as the sensitive area is being grinded against. The basketball shorts hide next to nothing and in a moment, his hard dick creates a tall tent. She makes him this way. He grabs her waist as she continues to sexually dance on his lap, winding all around his crotch while their kisses become more heated and lustful. Built up sexual tension is imploring for release.
It is not long before Vanessa unhooks her bra while he basketball boyfriend unfastens her pants slightly below her waist. He does not want this now but it will happen without her knowing that his thoughts are elsewhere. As much as he tries to focus all his attention on her, Kobe can feel a small part of him only thinking about Justin and their dangerous fight. A fight with so many of his vicious words. Words he cannot take back. When she hops off him to finish removing her pants, Bryant takes the opportunity to slip out of his shorts and those too are thrown away. She hops back on top of him but he easily tosses her onto the bed below them and ravishes her naked body like he has so many times before. Kisses and sucks are laid everywhere from her neck to her shoulders while hands freely roam against perfect supple skin. He squeezes her breasts and she moans into him, enticed by it.
"Baby make love to me. I can't wait anymore---" she almost begs.
It turns him on to no end to hear her talk the way she is. That is why he is able to go through with this even when his mind is in chaotic ruin over Timberlake. It turns him on when he talks like this too. Kobe loves her so much but she does not deserve him. The foreplay is minimized this time as he is also ready for the main show and to take her. He wants her in every possible way a man can want a woman and she is the only one who can satisfy his lust tonight. No. Not only--- They kiss as she smoothly begins to spreads her legs open to grant him the access he needs while he hovers over her. Bryant leaves his eyes open and watches down at her as they kiss; her eyes are closed. He feels like a stalker. Vanessa catches him in her sensuous trap by encircling her legs around his lower abdomen to pin him there. Her fingertips rest on her boyfriend's back while he repositions himself in her vice grip.
"You ready?" Bryant soothingly asks his lover.
His hard dick finds its way into her and he slowly enters at first to begin creating friction between their bodies. Now there was no waiting or going back. She cries out from pleasure and pushes her body more into his as they make love. Kobe kisses his girlfriend with great passion and pleasure as her insides comfort his aching pole. Timberlake cannot be in his mind now. And what they did on this same bed cannot be in his mind. Their pace is slow to start off and when he closes his eyes, he feels like pleasure waves are rippling through every fabric of his skin and being. Vanessa sensually cups the back of his smooth head while he grinds deeper and deeper into her cavern. Justin is not on his mind right now because if he was, it would be far too complicated and the baller doubts he could concentrate on his girlfriend. So it works for a while and all incriminating thoughts are cut off.
Her fingers play on the back of his head and neck before travelling down his muscular back and even lower to squeeze his firm butt and he bucks at the intrusion. The Los Angeles Laker star player kisses her neck and ears and anywhere else his lips can reach in an attempt to get off and get his girlfriend off. And himself too. The once easy strokes evolve in sudden harder thrusts with both of their bodies performing in unison and complimenting each others' perfectly. The speed has changed drastically and senses are bombarded with satisfaction and gratification. Even her legs stoke him as they still lock their bodies together. She kisses him, bites his lips, scratches him, and does just about anything else to enhance the mood they both are in. She loves him so much and wants to be his wife so badly. Wants the whole world to know that this is her man and she loves him with all her heart.
"Uh---oh---yeah. Don't stop. Go faster."
Her sentences are short and sweet and she gets what she asks for. The friction and heat generated by their combined bodies create a harmonious touch on their skin and Bryant feels the goosebumps. Feels the sensations of a genuine connection with another human being. Grunts and moans keep the mood between them and she arches her body up to meet his thrusts. But this has to be over soon because he is getting tired. Conditioning was too long today and the baller thought he could handle it all. It is overwhelmingly strong and he feels his body under pressure to keep up and keep going but it will all fall and crash around him. Like it always does right before it is all over. Vanessa kisses him roughly and he invades her mouth with his tongue. Hands grope bare skin to make satisfaction eminent and worthwhile. Their pace is brisk now as Kobe slams into and out of her with everything in him.
"Damn baby," he mutters. "I'm so close---keep going."
Being this close to someone he loves so much makes the basketball star forget about everything. The steroid use. The long day of conditioning. Justin Timberlake. Its effects will not last long and his body will want rest but he is going to take what he can get and cherish it because his thoughts and feelings have haunted him for far too long without any type of respite. The hotness between their two naked bodies is flawless as he plows deeper and faster into Vanessa all while swarming her body with his. Kobe is taking her over and it is what they both want. What she misses whenever he is out on the road for games or promoting himself. She finally releases her vice grip from his lower body because her pleasure has already been reached and now excess is simply flowing over. Bryant keeps with his manly thrusts but they will not last for much longer. It is all coming to an end. Release.
"Oh!" she screams out. "Baby---baby---uh---"
Kobe hears his voice almost crack and his body can keep the satisfaction at bay no longer as release is so close he can grasp it. He can feel it inside bursting to get out and bathe him in afterglow. Her insides are so warm and inviting that it is tearing away at him and for a brief second, he cannot even remember his name or who he is. A blank mind like a blank canvas. The shooting guard grunts out in ecstasy while their perfect union becomes broken but he gains so much more. He cums inside her and although the thrusts are strong, they are nothing compared to what they used to be because he is tired. And this release has drained him out even more. The high is wearing off and his name and whole career is back in their rightful place in his mind. But so is everything else trickling in that he wants no one to know. Vanessa moves her body up to meet his and then lures him in for a soft kiss. It is all over.
He just needs a moment to relax his eyes but he feels his girlfriend playing with his ear and kissing his shoulder. She is so good to him and does not deserve anything bad in her life. They have been together even before he became a professional basketball player so she is not with him for his money. That is the last thing he thinks about her. What they have is real and undying. The basketballer keeps his eyes closed because he cannot look at her knowing everything he has done. Everything he continues to do behind her back. Kobe simply pretends to be tired and almost squirms when he feels Vanessa wrap her soft arms around his naked torso. That touch of hers. She will never know what it does to him. She kisses his cheek and then his lips before everything becomes silent. Bryant feels his body recovering but he almost wishes it would not. She would be heartbroken. He is a demon.
"Goodnight sweetheart---my love," his girlfriend innocently proclaims.
Kobe Bryant has trouble sleeping even though he is tired and wants it to come to him badly. It is all inside him and he is unable to figure out a way to set it free and let it leave him alone. His guilt about Justin is eating him alive and his use of steroids to keep at the top spot is making him sick to his stomach. The real reason is far too painful to constantly there but it is. Always in the back of his mind to remind him to keep doing it. Keep getting the syringes. Keep anonymously getting the drug. Kobe lies there with Vanessa's warm body pressed against his and simply stares up at the black ceiling. Sleep will not come to him and he needs it because tomorrow is another day of practice. His girlfriend is already fast asleep so she does not notice when creeps out of bed and his naked form walks across the dark room and to the door. He grabs a pair of pants on the way out and leaves her behind.
In the great room of his suite, Bryant is on the sofa with his head in his hands thinking. He knows he is tired but he also knows that he misses the singer. Their conversations. The primal connection he knows they share. Maybe it is meant to be this way. In such a short time he and Justin already share the deep, passionate connection he and his girlfriend do. Fate is playing a cruel joke on him. Them. Kobe wants to call; he has wanted to call so many times but it never comes to pass. His own stubbornness prevents him. The conflicting emotions swimming inside his head are getting the best of him and he wants it to stop. He wants Timberlake back in his life to offer him some sort of stability. He looks around for a short while before he finally forces himself back to bed and to get the rest he needs. Vanessa is oblivious to his presence when he gets back into bed beside her and he kisses her on the cheek.