Date: Sat, 18 Feb 2006 12:05:02 -0800 (PST) From: Fora Llexx Subject: X-Men Beyond Part 1 X-Men Beyond By: Andruchris Gutzi bearhugsbaby@yahoo.com/forallexx@yahoo.com Proviso: X-Men and all its relevant characters that may appear in this story are copyrighted to Marvel Comics and the Twentieth Century Fox. This story is a product of pure-fiction and in NO WAY suggesting (not even insinuating, uh-huh) anything about the sexualities of the characters as well as the actors/actresses who portrayed the characters in the movie. The characters are just borrowed to be able to visualize the faces and the concept of the story. The story below may contain scenes, language and situations not suitable to minors and is intended for mature reading only. This will also depict homosexual interactions between consenting male adults. If you are (1) offended/against the content of this story; (2) under legal age; (3) in a state or location where male-to-male sexual interaction is considered illegal, abnormal or against the law, you are requested to stop reading this material now. This episode is the introduction of the story so it may contain less graphic homosexual interaction. Please do not fret, it's not the end of the world yet. Those portions should be very handy on the next episodes. Feel free to e-mail your questions, comments, suggestions and criticisms to forallexx@yahoo.com or bearhugsbaby@yahoo.com. Oh, and by the way, let me tell you, guys... Phoenix's xxx-men anthology rocks. Check it out! Thanks for the inspiration, man! And as promised... here's the initial chapter. Thank you. X-Men Beyond: The Heart Awakening by: Andruchris Gutzi bearhugsbaby@yahoo.com/forallexx@yahoo.com [Thursday / 15-May-2003 / approx. 1600hrs GMT+8] [Northern Philippines] It was that tremendous pain -- that headache coupled by different frequencies of murmurs that echoed inside my head like a ball bouncing back and forth, tapping each and every membrane of my mind. I sat down on a chair trying to overcome the fear of losing my sanity by whispering a chant asking the gods to let me overcome this threatening occurrence. I must not fail. "A-Anak, a-ano'ng nangyayari sa iyo?" |Filipino| {- S-Son, w-what's happening to you? -} I was aware of someone's presence in front of me and yet I couldn't visualize his face. What I could clearly see was the outline of his body radiating a mono-cyanic light -- as raffikh told me a long way back to be the human aura, or the auric field. I could barely hear his voice but I felt somewhat depressed and helpless, I couldn't bear the sudden mood swing that enveloped my core. It felt like the best thing to do was to just end my existence. I opened my mouth trying to gasp. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming; my body was refusing to take in as much air as it needed. "E-eth... sethre q-quiem... larrizh hasth c-colarum t-theres... sindaq kiel largh mur... b-bighyett thar sethre am largh... s-soun largh rapitho... hasth..." |Kalithenis| {- E-eth... hegemony q-queen... please help this humble servant... fear may overcome me... bestow upon me your power... I am weakening fast... please... -} I continued to chant in my native tongue, asking for Eth, the goddess of hegemony, to help me regain my control over myself. But as I was doing so, I felt my environment started to blur. "A-Anak? A-Anong sinasabi m-mo? Ano'ng n-nangyayari? A-Anak? A-An..." |Filipino| {- S-Son? W-What are you saying? What's h-happening? S-Son? S-So... -} His aura was beginning to consume me and everything went silent and then... black. --oo0oo-- [Friday/ 16-May-2003 / approx. 0400hrs GMT-5] [X-Mansion: Logan's room] "Aaaaarrrrghhhhh!!!" Kitty phased through the wall of Logan's room seconds after hearing his anguished cry. Then, a telekinetic boom shot the door open and in rushed Jean with Ororo and Bobby. The last person to pop out of the blue... was the blue boy, Kurt. They all looked at each other in a questioning look, then towards Logan. Everyone could suggest he's been through hell and back judging from his messed up hair, body quaking from intense emotion he was feeling at that moment. Something extremely distressed him. "What happened?" they all asked roughly in unison as they watched Logan who's by then sitting on his bed breathing hard, his tank top damp with sweat, and his face buried on both palms. Logan didn't answer the question. He just continued trying to make sense of everything. Kitty, being the first one to be there, replied in her alarmed tone as she fretfully looked at everyone and then towards Logan, "I was like in the middle of a dream when I heard him scream ... I so almost phased through my bed, I got scared. It sounds like he's been split apart. I was so sure he was like dying already..." Ororo looked at everyone and decided to say something. She walked gently towards Logan and asked him in her usual peaceful voice, "I sense something was troubling you. Are you alright, Logan?" "L-leave me in peace!" Logan growled. His act was threatening. He faced the group furiously as he fought hard to contain himself but nobody dared move. Everyone was startled but their concern was to calm Logan. They have dealt with this kind of outburst from him before, so everyone's sure that the pattern was being followed. Seeing them not moving after his demand, he got even more irate and unveiled his adamantium claws in a flash ready to attack and to slash all of them as he roared, "Leave... now!!!" "Logan, c-calm down..." Jean subtly spoke as she projected a hold of Logan using telekinetic restraints, "we're your friends." "I said nooow!!!!" Just then, everyone heard a telepathic broadcast from Professor Xavier. /* Ororo, Jean, everyone, I can sense intense aggravation on Logan. I suggest all of you to leave him alone at once. It would be best for all. I'll discuss everything later. I'll take it from here. */ Jean replied, /* Yes, professor */ Bobby looked at her with a knowing look. As she telekinetically shut the door, Bobby shot a freeze ray to completely lock it in place. Jean, then relayed a brief message to Kurt, /* Kurt, teleport us out of here, now! */ Kurt immediately asked everyone to hold on to him and as they did, Kurt poofed them out of Logan's room. As Logan was released from the telekinetic restraint that Jean had dispensed, he slashed the air in angst and almost lacerated the wall. The ashy smell of the black particles that Kurt left behind when he teleported everyone out of his room made Logan go to a fitful frenzy. In good time, Professor Xavier projected a telepathic arrest towards Logan and through his mind control, he endeavored to stabilize him. The first attempt was good but not good enough for even through Professor Xavier's advanced mind control, he needed the willful agreement of the other person to achieve a maximum performance. Logan has always been almost impervious to an average telepath's mind control and his unwilling role to play his part made him nearly invulnerable to Xavier's feat. The professor knew that Logan's mind was much more complex than his personality. Exerting more effort, he conversed to Logan. /* Logan, I need you to focus and control yourself. */ "I c-cant! Professor," Logan almost yelled as he frustratingly fought his frenzied self. Xavier got a shock because of the loud message. Apparently, as Logan roared his reply, his mind also transmitted a high frequency telepathic message that almost knocked Professor Xavier out of his wheelchair. The professor nearly fell from being seated but he got a good grasp of the wheel and continued struggling to contain Logan. /* You can do it, Logan. Believe. Get a hold of yourself. I am helping you but you must help yourself, too. You must prevail! Focus, Logan... Focus! */ Logan grimaced; his sweat was flowing like river from his forehead as he tried hard restraining himself. His body tremor was strengthening in his attempt to overcome his agitation. "Aaaaggghhhhh!!!" he screamed. Then, in just a short while, faces of people flashed in his brain like a slideshow set in split second. But his head was also quaking as loud sounds of voices echoed in his ears. He was confused. He battled to block the voices that occupied half of his head. His mind kept on flashing faces in a dizzying speed and Logan's panting harder and harder. He was confused as to where these pictures were coming from but he knew they seemed to have calmed his senses. The last face that flashed in his mind a little while longer than the others was of a dark woman with silver hair strands but with a blurred face. For some reason, the voices started to haze in his mind, too. Realizing the effect, Logan froze the woman's face in his mind. Gradually, the blurry face began to appear: beginning from the hazel-shaped grey-colored eyes; the supple and sweet pink lips; the unblemished dark tan; the long and flowing silver hair; the beautiful smile; and then, she hummed, and started to sing in a soothing voice -- in a language he thought rather familiar to him. Exhausted as he gasped a lungful of air, Logan collapsed onto the floor. As professor sensed Logan calmed down, he shot his final message. /* Rest for now, Logan... later... come to me when your head is cleared. */ With that, Logan closed his eyes and weariness took over. In just a short while, he was dozing off on top of the rag where he collapsed. --oo0oo-- [The X-Mansion: The Library] After poofing out of Logan's room, Kurt delivered the group poofing in the library about seven yards away from the professor. Everyone expected to be there... "What happened professor?" the concern in Jean's voice was undeniable but Professor Xavier lifted his right hand in gesture for her to wait. The professor put both of his hands on his forehead, in full meditation to control the ongoing crisis inside Logan's head. Each was silent as they watched Xavier strained himself. Most of them had the idea that it was never easy to penetrate Logan's mind, much less, to control it most specifically if he's not willing. /* Logan, I need you to focus and control yourself. */ Jean gasped upon receiving the message that the professor intended to transmit to Logan. This alerted her for she knew that Xavier would never "accidentally" broadcast a message to a fellow telepath unless help is necessary. Seeing the Professor's dilemma, Jean focused her mind towards containing Logan but as she was in the process of penetrating the link, she felt a strong mental assault caused by Logan's deafening voice in her mind. The strength of the assault threw Jean against the wall. As Ororo witnessed Jean's body tossed away by an unseen force, she managed to create a wind cushion in time and stopped Jean from hitting the wall hard. Almost at the same time as Jean's, Bobby saw the professor opened his mouth painfully as his whole body jerked at once. "Professor!" Bobby cried while the rest were in total shock. The wheelchair tilted sideways and was about to fall but Bobby was able to maintain his presence of mind and immediately threw a freezing bolt securing the wheel that was hanging less than a foot to the ground in its place. In his current uncomfortable state as he was slightly diagonally inclined, the professor managed to hold the wheel and balanced himself as he continued to contain Logan. /* You can do it, Logan. Believe. Get a hold of yourself. I am helping you but you must help yourself, too. You must prevail! Focus, Logan... Focus! */ While the professor struggled to keep his balance, Ororo summoned a meltdown on the ice and in seconds, with the help of the professor's balancing effort, the hanging wheel of his wheelchair gradually pressed down onto the floor. Jean regained her composure and focused once again to help the professor. Through Xavier's connection to Logan, she infused different still images of faces in Logan's mind in an attempt to either calm his thoughts or shift his attention towards a different focus other than his tormented self. In the middle of the process, the last thing she thought was the picture of smiling Ororo, and held it off for a moment longer... suddenly, her hold weakened and her link was cut off -- like being kicked out of a chat room. "I-I... I don't understand..." she whispered. She looked at Professor Xavier and she sensed that his link was cut off, too. They looked momentarily at each other, one with a knowing look and the other with a confused one. Jean held off her questions, though. She's going to ask in time. Finally, she faintly heard the last telepathic transmission by Professor Xavier. /* Rest for now, Logan... later... come to me when your head is cleared. */ Jean projected a mind scan towards Logan's room and she sensed him lying on the floor and panting. He was calming, so she ceased the projected scan and looked towards the professor. As Xavier's facial expression normalized, Jean immediately asked her question, "What's going on, Professor?" "Good work, Jean. You're obviously wise enough to play your part when it was sorely needed. The picture-flash you played was the trick necessary to divert his mind," Professor Xavier stated with a hint of smile. "Wasn't it supposed to make him even more confused?" Jean asked, worried about the effect. "Confusion is sometimes helpful, Jean," the professor responded as-a-matter-of-factly, "it gives us time to face two different roads and analyze each pros and cons before crossing either of them. The picture-flash affected him so much because his rage was domineering. We have to confuse him to balance his rage and his composure. Then, he can take it from there." "But if that was helping him, why did you cut my link off?" Jean wondered. "The last flash of picture made a great deal of effect on him. I sensed his rage weakened. Because of this, it opened up his mind and gave us access beyond allowable boundaries. I couldn't risk fiddling with his privacy without his willingness," Professor Xavier explained calmly and gazed at Ororo in a relatively meaningful way. Sensing something about the gaze, Ororo began feeling uncomfortable not knowing what Xavier meant by his look. To divert everyone's attention, she asked, "Did you know what fired his rage, Professor? It has been months since his last outburst..." "Perhaps it was the nightmare again, but I'm not sure, Ororo. Still, I'm not about to pry. He'll tell us when he's ready," Xavier readily responded. "The last time he experienced this, we contained him in his room. Why did you ask us to leave?" Storm queried in her most serene voice. "I could sense that he's blinded by what's going on in his head. It has reached to a level where he sees everyone as a threat. That's why when Kurt came here to fetch me, I asked him to fetch you out there instead. It's too risky even with Jean's telekinetic restraints." Xavier detailed. "Is he okay now, Professor? Is it safe to be near him again?" Kitty asked innocently. "For now, it would be best to leave him alone. Let's give him time to rest. Everyone, you may go back to your..." "Riinnnnnnngggg!" Xavier's sentence was interrupted by a telephone ring. Everyone looked at each other. Jean voluntarily walked but Xavier gestured her to stop. He knew too well that it's too early for a chit-chat call so the professor sensed it was of urgent nature. He pressed a button on his wheelchair and "drove" towards the phone and immediately answered the call. The rest remained standing, waiting for any information. Everyone was alarmed for they saw from the professor's expression his apprehension. When he placed the receiver back down he immediately announced, "Jean, gather up Scott and in to your uniform; Ororo, inform the others; the rest of you, remain here... we need to discuss an important matter." --oo0oo-- [Meanwhile: Scott Summers' room] After a night of toss and turn, Scott finally decided to pull himself up and take a shower as a preparation for the morning's session in the danger room. He knew that he's two hours early since he himself scheduled the session at six o' clock. But no matter how he tried or whatever he did, he just couldn't sleep. There were a lot of things going on in his mind. He tried to shut all those weird scenarios in his head, he barely succeeded. He knew there was something wrong: it was as if, a new self had started to transpire from his well-being... after Jean broke up with him two years ago. He recalled the very moment: he couldn't believe how he handled the breakup with Jean. He thought before that his whole world revolved around the Marvel Girl -- he was overprotective of her to the point of being possessive. But when the time came that Jean got fed up of his childish attitude and asked him to give her time to cool things down away from him for a while, it was as if he expected it to happen that way. Perhaps he'd felt some degree of pain, but he couldn't deny the fact that it was not the pain he was expecting from himself. He wanted Jean, yes, he wanted the closeness between Jean and him to become even stronger. But he didn't realize what kind or type of closeness he wanted from her. Was there such a categorization of closeness? He didn't think so, but he obviously learned that categorization was necessary to understand his feelings over her. During the cool off period, he didn't feel any rejection from himself the way men feel when women initialize a cool off. He was surprised... confused... uncertain. But later, both of them agreed to continue their friendship -- and officially split up. He took the breakup hard. But he admitted not because their boyfriend-girlfriend relationship was over... he admitted he was overly afraid of totally losing Jean. But in only a few short days, he managed to cope with his situation. He's still overprotective of Jean, nothing changed that. There's still a bond between them that can never be broken -- a formidable psychological bond which have been formed during the few years of their relationship. Yesterday, they were just having a little chit-chat by the pool. They were giggling and even laughing out loud when the story seemed funny enough for both of them. When out of nowhere, Jean asked him the question, "How do you like Ray, the new student?" He didn't how to answer. In fact, he felt the question was a little too personal... Why? He didn't know, but he himself could not believe how he got enraged by it. "What do you mean, `how do I like Ray'? What are you implying, Jean? How could you ask such a stupid question?" he retaliated in a manner that almost shocked Jean. Jean silenced for a while and tried to analyze Scott's reaction. Finally, she chuckled and said, "Scott, it was an innocent question and a very literal one at that. What do you mean, `what I mean?' There's no implying whatsoever... I just want your opinion of the new student, that's all," in her usual leveled tone, thinking that Scott was just goofing off. Scott didn't like the chuckle that escaped Jean and thought she was making fun of him. "You've been prying with my mind, haven't you? How could you do that to me?" Scott shouted back angrily before realizing what he had said. Jean looked at his face in disbelief, sensing the seriousness in Scott's tone, "Oh, my God! Are you alright? Scott, you know it was against the regulation of the school for telepaths to meddle with other's minds and you know I would never do that to anyone, most especially to you, without permission. What's happening, Scott? You know me better than that..." Jean's tone was heavier than mellow and there was certain firmness on every syllable that she's uttering. Scott was shocked. He rewound the question in his head... over and over... before he realized the simplicity of the question. How could he react that way over such a petty little question? What was it that he needed to be guilty of? What was he thinking about Ray? "How did he like the new student?" Was there a deeper meaning to that question? And even so... why should he think Jean could mean it the deeper way? Was he guilty of something? Jean sensed something was troubling Scott as a gap of silence broke out between them. She looked worried -- and Scott knew that she could feel his trouble, but he also knew she would never pry. "I-Is there s-something you n-need to tell me, Scott?" Scott remained silent for a while. He had difficulty of finding reasons for his flare-up. He stammered as he gathered his thoughts and said, "Ungh... uhm... n-never mind, Jean... I'll j-just... uhm... g-go to my room. I think I need to rest. M-Maybe I'm just tired... it had b-been a long d-day..." He stood up and paced away from Jean. She was eyeing Scott with a questioning face. It has been about 6 hours since then and he hadn't slept a wink. He's guilty because of the way he felt. Jean just got into him when he least expected it -- he was unprepared... "For what?" he thought to himself. And now he's starting to feel the heaviness in his heart -- should he tell Jean his reasons? He didn't know exactly what his reasons were, but it had burdened him for years now. He's twenty-seven years old, for goodness' sake! How couldn't he find a way to grow some bones and discuss to himself his own problems? Why couldn't he understand his own situation? He just wanted to take them all away but he knew he couldn't just exclaim it all for he himself was uncertain what to think or say -- the only thing he's certain about was that there'll be repercussions. It may push people away -- "but why?" he asked again to himself; "I'm not sure," was the reply. One thing is for sure, the last person he wanted to be away from his life is Jean because she's the closest person he could ever have in his life. He could never risk pushing Jean away from him. He sighed as he continued to rinse his soapy naked body. He consoled himself and thought, "I'll just cross the bridge when I get there." He was drying himself up when he heard a mental query from Jean: /* Scott, are you awake? */ /* Jean? */ /* Scott, the professor wants us in our uniform. Something came up. */ /* What's happening? */ /* He'll brief us when we get back in the library. */ /* Be right there... */ Scott was compelled to say something about last night but he also knew that wasn't the best time. He quickly set himself in his uniform and hurriedly proceeded on his way to the library. A few yards behind was Jean. They exchanged glances before they hurried towards the library. --oo0oo-- [Saturday / 17-May-2003 / approx. 1030hrs GMT+8] [Northern Philippines: In a Hospital / Aliki's Point of View] The feeling of cold air and the slight heaviness on my head made me realize I finally regained consciousness -- for how long, I still needed to find out. I felt my head clear of the bumps I had earlier because of... well... I had to recall later. I tried to open my eyes feeling the tinge of metal pierced into the vein of my left fist. I looked up and saw a bottle of dextrose, just like, as I could remember, the ones attached to Go Deng Wei's ill father the first time I saw his family in this country. The white paint and the bright fluorescent light of the ceiling somehow brought peace into my senses. I felt safe. What happened and who brought me where, I should worry later. At that moment, I needed to rest. I looked towards my right and saw a tree by the window pane looking full and so much alive. There were birds chirping, as if to offer their songs to me. Then, I felt the moistness on my eyes. It has been more or less seven years since I left home, the island of Kalithe. Tears flowed from my eyes as I let my mind got itself adrift to the memory of the past. ---vvv--- [Ali's Recollection: The Events of the Past] I am a Kalithenis, a native of the island Kalithe, a discreet small island somewhere in the far eastern hemisphere by the Pacific region. Kalithe, belongs to the "Three Spots of the Horizon," being called so by sailors and merchants who happened to "discover" our islands by chance. As an islander, I know each is its own island with its own rule of governance, but the "outside people" (whom I have come to know later in my life) have to give them that name to pertain to our islands because we are separated from any large land mass and too far to even belong to any nation. They said, from a distance, the islands appear like three spots floating the horizon of the Pacific Ocean. The Three Spots of the Horizon is composed of Mangra to the east, Kalithe at the center, and Sithwen to the west. Kalithe being in the middle had always been the object of war between Sithwings (Sithwen tribe) and Mangrits (Mangra tribe); each desired to control and to claim our island. But the Kalithenis (Kalithe tribe) never believed in war and disharmony therefore we were always the one to settle the dispute between the two tribes. My mother was the high priestess of my tribe. Her name's Zeleta, which literally means in our native tongue, "sunrise." She fell in love with a full-blooded Chinese man, who'd been living in the Philippines, swept away by the seastrand to our shores from a sunken vessel and his name's Go Deng Wei. I could still remember how amusing it was to look at them together: my father was about half-a-foot shorter than my mother; his pale skin contrasted her Pacific tan; his eyes that look almost like two lines on his face when he laughs wholeheartedly was too tiny compared to the hazel-shaped brown eyes of my mother; he talked almost like eating every syllable of his words while my mother was very eloquent in speaking; and he moved almost very casually while she is graceful in her manners and gestures. One thing that they have in common was their peaceful and calm traits. Perhaps it was a real love blessed by the heavens for in only a matter of weeks, they got married by means of our own ceremonial rites... later on, I was conceived. Three full moons before I was born, my father was located by his family and was taken back to their home in the Philippines. Apparently, they have a very rich clan and his parents weren't happy learning about his marriage with my mother. He was, beforehand, already spoken for to one of his cousins. But perhaps my father truly loved my mother, so instead of showing obedience, he followed his heart and broke their tradition. He went back to live with my mother in our island. I was born by the name Aliki Go-otres. Our population is small and the tribesmen do not have surnames. Being the only person who has a father outside our race, I was the first to have one thus. My name Aliki is comprised of two words, "ali" means "loving" and "ki" means "heart". I used to have Go after my father's name and "otres" meaning "pioneer, basic or first." Communication between my mother and my father had been quite a challenge and they mostly talk by "gestures." Seeing that difficulty as I grew up confused me for I wasn't aware, then, of a place with people living beyond the shores of the three islands who used a language different than ours (but that idea would soon change.) I even found it strange that even as my mother couldn't understand my father as he talked, I could communicate with him very well. At the very young age of four, a teacher, whom I call "raffikh" meaning "master," was assigned to educate me. Raffikh was an old man with a youthful appearance. Mother told me that raffikh was her father's teacher and so was hers. But judging from the way he looked, he almost could be mistaken to be the same age as my father. Raffikh is intelligent and gentle spoken. He was the one who introduced me to "Abo-Otres," the "basic learning," which includes "Kize," our own version of the alphabet. He's quick witted, too, making our lessons not too tedious. He gave me wise insights and words to ponder, the one he kept on stressing was: (As translated in English) "Do not give in to rage, even to temptations of rage, for the strongest have all been defeated because of it. Rage blinds the wisest, endangers the meek, and makes a beautiful face repulsive. One has to live in harmony with another like a limber bamboo swaying even against the gentlest or harshest winds. Rage is the heat that dries out the bamboo which will then cause it to break at the softest whispers of the breeze..." Raffikh taught me the main governing laws of the island. All the laws seemed fair and just -- but one peculiar law intrigued me as it states: (As translated in English) Governing Law 157: "A man may surpass another man in a battle but the conqueror must mark his triumph by claiming the innocence and seeding inside of the defeated man. After such process, the conqueror shall become the master and the conquered shall then be reduced to be his slave, obliged to adhere to the master's wishes without insubordination, until either of them expires." That law seemed filthy, vulgar and absurd to me. That was almost inhuman. Did it mean that because of the defeated man's weakness after the battle, the conqueror could force himself into him? Raffikh explained that it had been a tradition from long way back that was still applied until that day. When the conqueror succeeded to "sexually molest" (as Raffikh termed it) the defeated, he can claim him as his slave. But he also consoled me by stating the fact that the Kalithenis are peace-loving men and for over a hundred years now, no one had ever find use for that particular Governing Law. I thought then, it wouldn't become a predicament. I just ignored it and continued my learning. Every full moon, he would teach me the chants to each of the four gods -- a chant to Eth, the goddess of hegemony, for power and control; to Ru, the god of wisdom, for infinite intellect; to Ero, the god of health, for healing and vigor; and to Vi, the goddess of time for youthful agility. After the chants, he would narrate to me a very long epic of the gods. In the middle of the epic, he would give me explicit descriptions of the gods' appearance and I pictured them in my youthful imagination. Then, in the latter years, he taught me "Imrama," the ancestral mystic art of healing; and "Imsethre," the art of self-control and balancing of human emotions. I remember him saying a number of times that: (As translated in English) "Many of our ancestors have practiced these disciplines but only a few were able to tap its potent secret. I have faith that you, my little Aliki, will be one of the few..." After hearing those compliments, I would only smile and timidly announce my thanks. As I was learning these disciplines, my father also indulged me into the art of tai chi -- more as an exercise to balance the physical, mental and emotional self -- but later on, I also learned it can be a very powerful form of self defense. I remembered him taking me along the beach every morning and there, we inhaled the salty-stale aroma of the Pacific Ocean as we meditated; followed by the series of gentle spherical motions of our limbs and torsos against the cold touch of the breeze. I remembered how I loved the way I felt as each strand my of muscle stretch and cringe while my father, in his low and calming voice, would instruct the positions, step after step. I grew up learning that my mother was the only reason why the Kalithenis was still intact and growing in population. We have a low mortality rate because Zeleta is a formidable mystic healer. We never had problems with illnesses and diseases. She's highly gifted in healing that the tribesmen believed she was a goddess herself. She was always subtle in refusing to be called as such, but the more she humbled herself, the more praises and offerings she received from the tribe. I also recalled a story about a disease that plagued the three islands before I was born. A few hundreds have died in the two islands, Mangra and Sithwen -- while Kalithe, although had been afflicted by the same disease, remained safe because of my mother's prowess. It was about the eighth lunar year when rumors of an upcoming war between my tribe and the Mangrits broke out. I learned from my master that a Mangrit prophet declared: (As translated in English) "The powerful one who can bring life to the dead had emerged from the womb of the greatest healer, conceived from an outcast seed... his power is beyond time. When the moon is ripe and before the east meets the west, he must be captured and offered to the gods to bring peace and prosperity to the island of Mangra." My mother tried to settle the issue subtly but the Mangrits were desperate and blinded by selfishness. They even ended up abducting some of our natives and asked for the "powerful one" as ransom. Being the only son of the high priestess of Kalithe who was known for her healing skills, and was being conceived from an "outcast seed", I was assumed to be the "soth" or the "gift" and because of that nature, the Mangrits were demanding my delivery to be their offering to their gods. Unprepared for any unwelcome battle and incapable to protect me and the people against the Mangrits, my mother begged my father to take me away with him and keep me where I might remain safe. I knew my mother would never decide me to leave the island if it wasn't necessary... with a heavy heart, I tried to raise my head showing courage and respect to my mother, I left my island... I left her... and my father took me to his family's dwelling in the Philippines. Afraid that I might be traced by the Mangrits, once we arrived in Manila, through my father's connections and such, I was given a Christian name -- Alicio Gutierrez, and I used it ever since -- even if it was against my will. I knew, it sounded just the same as my birth name, but I let my father decide for me. He said that I might require a new name but he still wanted to hear the sound of my old name. And with a number of people having the same name recorded in the National Statistics, it could help us cover my track. >From the first time I met his family, I already knew that I would be treated differently. I could see hatred in all of their eyes. The only one who had never shot a glaring eye at me was my father's father, but then again, he was sick, unaware and clueless. He's on a wheelchair with a bottle of liquid connected to his left arm through a plastic tubular hose. I never had formal education but my father insisted that I learn the ways of the mainlanders. I learned Chinese, English and Filipino languages and some other dialects at a very young age. I easily learned them for reasons I still don't know then. He told me that I will need to learn English because most of my relatives on his side had been living in Great Britain and they only speak little Chinese and Filipino. He taught me manners and mainland etiquettes, although he knew for sure that my manners were (and still are) behaved and proper enough compared to that of the mainlanders. He initiated teaching me a lot about the culture, the urban and rural life, technology, geography and other particulars that I thought were all fascinating. I didn't think my father was well-versed, but he showed capability of giving very useful information. I grasped all of the information I could get and I tried to learn more on my own. He taught me the English alphabet and Basic English grammar. in only a short period of time, I was reading my way through newspapers, books and magazines. During the first three years, he trained me to the advanced discipline of Tai Chi. Unlike before; the training became more advanced and exhaustive as if he was training me for a battle. Everyday, he imposed a schedule for meditation, focus and control. With the help of the discipline required by Imrama and Imsethre, it was never difficult on my part. By the end of the third year, my skills broadened. With advanced martial arts technique, I was also trained and skillful in using different melee weapons -- focusing on the lance, the javelin, the mace, and the katar. His family never treated me as a part of them -- perhaps because my surname was never the same as the rest of the clan, but then again, maybe because they kept stressing on my mother being a diminutive tribal member. It hurt to hear those offensive words but my mother had always reminded me that "silence was the best answer for rage." After the third year, their maltreatment has worsened. They gradually began to treat me like a slave, more or less, a prisoner -- I barely slept; I was forced to transfer to a room small enough to be a dog's shelter which was apart from the mansion and in isolation; they inflicted pain for unclear or irrational reasons; they began coercing me to toil for them beginning from the break of dawn until past midnight; I was given rags for clothes, left-over, (if there's any at all) for my own consumption; and lastly and the most painful situation, my father, who I had immensely revered since youth had been steadily reduced to a mere puppet. Day after day, his words began to reduce its value in helping me during my crumbling months. Even during the nights of bruises, I was alone dealing with healing myself because of the wounds I obtain from the hitting of my "cousins," "uncles" and "aunts"-- which went on night after night after night. I recalled each day how my "cousins" glared at my unblemished tanned skin in the morning after a night of bruises they, themselves, have caused. It might be the reason why they would come back to cause me pain again and again, evening after evening -- they knew that I could heal myself anyway. I never fought back even though I knew I could. It would be very easy for me to break their bones after the trainings and discipline I have been imposing unto myself. But I was away from my territory and I was in hiding... yet even if I wasn't so, I never believed returning their act to them would cause any good. Besides, I could never harbor grudges to people's ignorance. Insolence was something I could let past; wounds and bruises I was capable of healing; but seeing my father sank so low before my very eyes was never tolerable. Every time, even as he saw me suffer against his family's exploits, I never heard him say a word to confront them -- much less to comfort me. There were intense agony in my heart but I'd never give these people a chance to see me lose hope... I did not, for those moments, shed a tear nor did I let them see my agony. Raffikh told me once: (As translated in English) "Never let your enemy witness your suffering for it would only allow them to ponder about your loss. Do not allow them to deem they have broken your spirit for your losing battle shall become more apparent to them. It would only mean admitting that they have won!" The years went by, and the many moments of solitude inside that household progressed. My world had shrunken and the only place I could find peace was the little room they have provided for me. They provided new rules for me: I was never allowed to go beyond the gates; never allowed to speak to guests, family members and even the household help; and the worst of it all, my communication to my father has completely been thwarted. In my solitude, anguish and desperation, I began to talk to walls, stones, grills, plants and flowers, the trees, even animals using my native tongue and imagined the beautiful face of my mother appearing from every surface calming me from fear and gloom. There were a lot of times I thought I heard them whispered gentle words to answer my cries. It was a losing battle as my sanity was challenged by the torture of being alone, uncomforted and beaten for no obvious reasons. The only comfort I received was when I heard them speak to me... almost as if they acknowledge my existence... that they were my friends. Perhaps my vision had also been bended or impaired by my imagination, for one instance, as I was in the middle of my Imrama chant in front of a 2-foot rock specifically placed as part of the landscape of their lawn, I imagined -- no! I saw! -- the rock started to move... first shaking; then slowly morphing to a somewhat humanoid form, stretching its four limbs and sticking out its head! As it completed its morphing, the humanoid rock -- which looked more like an ogre (later on I simplified as "og") stood and stared at me. Distressed, I lost my sense of disposition and in a matter of seconds, the rock og returned to its original form -- just as fast as it morphed. With nobody to share that experience, lack of explanation and nobody to even care about it, I got frightened. To ease my burdens, every night, after the usual torture I received from my cousins, I would pray to the gods. After a few more days of reflection and praises to the gods, a thought came over me, "if the gods willed that my mind's eyes and ears be twisted to let nature play its part to extend my life further, perhaps there is no harm in continuing this madness. And even if it is madness, the life that I had been living for the past years had been enough to take anyone's sanity away. I pray to the gods, let your will be my will." In the next few weeks, I continued practicing to "breathe life" to the same rock over and over. The phase became much quicker and I got better at controlling the illusion. I could almost sense that the og I created was true. My delusion had worsened when I tried to perform the practice to other forms... the first attempts were a failure, but as I diligently practiced each day I finally realized I was capable of "breathing life" to those mediums as well. I let my hallucinations consumed me. I thought, "I'd rather have these strange creatures of my imagination for my friends than become as insane as I could ever be." I felt their empathy as I narrate my stories to them. They may have thick exterior but they were much more human than the humans I have lived with for the past few years. Diligent practice had its rewards. Every night after my daily chores and routines, I would collect rubbles, dried leaves and sticks and "breathe life" to them inside my room. There, I was able to play with them like toys, will them to play tricks for me and I could will them to spar against each other. Through the illusions of having new friends, every painful day was rewarded by a smile before I rested my tired body. A few more days past, one quiet afternoon, while I was cutting the grass on the backyard lawn, I sat in front of the 2-foot stone, "my first friend," to rest. Contemplating, I murmured the chants to the gods thanking them for every day of life. But during the process, I remembered a strong thump against the back of my head that made me almost lose my consciousness. I fell face first aground. As I opened my eyes painfully feeling the throbbing ache, I blurrily saw one of my cousins with a metal pipe on his hand -- the pipe they just used to hit my head. They were laughing mockingly as they said horrible words that could only be swallowed by whores. They saw me in deep trance and decided to play around with me... again and as usual. "You have been rambling garbled words again, you maggot. Time to end your stupid game and let us start our fun... Guys, the usual torture..." said Lian, the eldest of my cousins who just celebrated his twenty-first birthday last month. "He's praying, Lian," Kim sarcastically said as he gestured an obscene act. Subsequently, he turned towards my lying body and kicked me on the face three times, before he threw a large lump of spit that hit my forehead, "What now, Ali? You think your pathetic and worthless gods can help you with your ordeals? What a pity... a bastard with no future in life was asking for help from heaven. I bet your gods are so dumb, they can't even understand a word you say." Hearing those words fired my rage even as I fought to have control over it. I thought, "I can allow the offensive words against me or my mother; I can allow their own definition of fun by inflicting pain on me; I can allow them taking my life away from; but this time, they've gone too far. I can never allow them to offend my heritage, much less, offend my beliefs and the gods I worship! This is their boundary and they have crossed the line!" I could sense my control got out of proportion. I no longer felt the pain at the back of my head... even as I felt blood running on my face... my sore and open wounds began mending on themselves. I was not sure how I felt but as my rage got out the best of me -- I stood in front of them with glaring eyes. Instinctively, I channeled my potent essence towards a 4-foot rock somewhere at the corner of the lawn. And then it happened -- as my four bully cousins have witnessed by themselves -- the rock shook and in no time, it protruded its own limbs and head. They were all startled they stood still as their eyes widened. It's easy to sense their foreboding. Beyond my rage, volts of nominal shock and fear struck my senses. As being observed, there was a confirmation that I wasn't just seeing things. The breathing of life wasn't just an illusion -- seeing how my cousins react towards my rock og, I finally realized everything was real! The rock og gently swayed its lower limbs and moved towards us, like a soldier reporting for duty. I was startled and frightened not knowing what to do, yet when I willed it to stop on its track, to my surprise... it did! Because of the mixed emotions I was feeling -- shock, fright, awe and delight -- I could sense that my "hold of will" was affected, too. The rock og was started forming-deforming in front of our eyes like a malfunctioning robot. As I completely lost my hold, the rock og morphed back to its original state. "W-What was that hellish creature! Y-you... you..." Lian stammered as he breathed heavily out of fear and shock! I was completely dumbfounded by the occurrence. It was real! Their reaction, their fear... they saw it! It was real!!! "Your gods are demons! Your gods are demons! Go back to hell with them, you bastard!!!" I heard Kim broke out as tears of terror flowed on his face. My gods are demons?!!! Hearing those words enlivened my rage again. Once more, this time, I willed the rock to morph back to its og state and as quickly as it did, I heard myself roared in a many different throaty voices: "Do not disrespect my gods... You have no privilege to speak ill words to my heritage and most significantly, to my gods. I have permitted you to inflict pain and offend me, but I can never let these ill-treatments to my belief go past. You must be punished for this insolence!" After that, I ordered the rock og to walk towards my trembling cousins. "Sahhayeth am ta... largh esrea thar..." |Kalithenis| {- Walk (slowly) towards them... I summon you... -} Scared to the bones as the witness the creature come forth, I saw one of my cousins fled. But as my quick eyes saw a log towards where he was heading, I routed my essence to it as well on impulse: "Egmago plesse..." |Kalithenis| {- Come alive... -} As I spoke my words, channeling my essence and will, gradually, the log became a living entity (which I will later refer to as "ent"). There were loud pleadings, frightful screams and cursing words... but what use could it possibly bring? The ill words have been said and punishment must be imposed. I heard them cry for help but the mansion doors felt my angst that they automatically shut the house locked; the gates sealed themselves on their own; and the mansion, may the gods forbid I was just seeing things, was shaking and screeching with rage. I witnessed all the horrible effects of my rage, and yet, I was both anxious and fulfilled... in fact, I could feel a sense of pride as my rage continued overwhelming me. All of a sudden, I saw my father leapt from the roof of the mansion. There was a tremendous amount of distress in him as he looked around and witnessed the supposed-to-be non-living matters came to life. "A-Aliki... get a hold of yourself... stop this m-madness now... you c-could hurt anyone... you c-could hurt yourself!" my father ordered. "Useless outcast!" I shouted back with voices full of angst, my rage was in control over me and I felt very little, if not zero, respect towards the man who was supposed-to-be a father to me, "Your seed is nothing but a shameful distortion to the purity of our blood. Your cowardice is unfathomable and you, yourself is a disgrace. Your words mean nothing to me now!" "Aliki... I am your father... I beg you to stop this disorder... please... this is not the time to succumb to your anger." I didn't listen to him. What's the use of listening to his words when his presence during the time I needed him most was never felt. With violent eyes, I beckoned the rock og and the wooden ent to gather my four disgraceful cousins together. I saw their parents shrieking in terror as they were imprisoned inside the raging mansion. I just ignored them and tried to analyze the best punishment for my cousins. But then, I sensed my father's boldness when he leapt towards my direction in an effort to grab me. I turned my gaze towards him, but as I did so, I felt a sudden involuntary jolt from my head as if a bolt of power escaped from me. I swear to this day, I had no intention of doing that occurrence. It took me minutes to realize that after that reflex, he was frozen in midair, still in the act of "about-to-grab-me" phase! Because of the shock, I lost concentration and diminished my will and for that, the rock og and the wooden ent morphed back to their original forms and lay lifeless on the grassy lawn. The violent mansion promptly stopped shaking. When the doors flung open, their parents immediately rushed outside to fetch and hug each of their teen-aged offspring... Lian was both speechless and motionless as his father hugged him worriedly... everyone was traumatized by the episode. They grabbed each other as they silently scrutinized the event in terror while I tried to gather my sane mind gazing at my father still suspended above ground. "W-what is happening to me? W-what have I done? H-how can I u-undo this?" questions I voiced out in distress but nobody dared to answer: perhaps because of fear; perhaps because of shock; or perhaps because of lack of specific explanation. For the first time, I felt surrendering as tears welled from my eyes... I weakly knelt quivering on the grass lawn and buried my face in my palms not knowing what to say, think or do. I whispered softly as tears began to fall, "This is a complete outrage! I should have kept my control! I should have listened to my father... I should've..." Before I knew it, I heard the loud thud again and then felt the sudden pain from the back of my head... I looked up and saw the angry face of one of my uncles as he repeated another whack on top of my head with the metal pipe he had gathered from his son. The third strong whack hit my open face and my vision started to blur. Just about a second before I hit the ground, I saw my father stopping my uncle from hitting my head the fourth time. And then, I lost consciousness. ---***--- I woke up lying on my stomach against a metal board -- blindfolded and gagged. The sting of muscle and the soreness of my flesh made me groan. I felt metal chains bound my hands above my head and I could feel my legs straining as they, too, were chained apart in a spread eagle fashion. As the damp and cold feel of the metal cause shivers to the bare skin of my chest, guts and groin, I just knew that I was completely naked. I could feel my head was still sore... but as I tried to move, I felt a severe twinge in my rectal area. I almost stopped breathing... Could it be? Could it possibly be? Could they possibly stoop that low? The realization almost made me squirm in sheer misery. I was violated!!! My innocence was violated! Curse them! Curse all of theemmmmm!!!! The pang of the shredded and bleeding flesh behind me was enough for me to crumble. I wanted to shout... to scream... I wanted to spread to the whole world the vileness of this clan! I wanted them to know that these people are beasts! But my screams were just muffled by the tight piece of cloth they used to gag me. And all I could do was sob and surrender in defeat. What do these people want from me? Where's my father? How could he allow this corruption to happen to me? How could he tolerate such debauchery? How???? If only I knew that this abomination shall happen to me, I could have prevented it by refusing to leave my island! To think I was even within the range of my father's sight! I shouldn't have allowed my mother to decide for me to leave. These were not the consequences I was expecting after obeying my parents' will. Curse my father!!! He should have just left me there in Kalithe to die!!! He should have just allowed the Mangrits to offer me to their gods, than make me suffer this horrible tragedy within his own dominion! Perhaps I could have better served humanity dying as an offering to the gods of Mangra! Perhaps I could have died for a better cause if my life equals their peace and prosperity! I wanted to torment the beasts that have been capable of doing such hideous acts to me. But being so weak and vulnerable, I knew there could be no possibility of doing so. I was all broken... My will had abandoned me that I couldn't even heal my own wounds! There's nothing left for me to desire to live... even my desire to see my mother once more didn't serve a better reason for me to further my existence. In my mind, I was even blaming the gods for leaving me unprotected after vigilantly obeying their laws and discipline; and after defending them from ill-words coming from these vile mainland commoners... "Eth... saruath pole sethre thar iparos?" |Kalithenis| {- Eth... where's the control you promised? -} "Ru... saruath po le kepperi thar kazarra?" |Kalithenis| {- Ru... where's the wisdom you assured? -} "Ero... kathmi ep thar athueth largh?" |Kalithenis| {- Ero... why did you leave me? -} "Vi... kathmi ep thar aphiniko az largh?" |Kalithenis| {- Vi... why did you runaway from me?" -} After murmuring the doubtful questions, I progressed to meek sobs... The slight movement around made me realize somebody's presence. I felt two hands grabbed my right hand and can only hear faint low whispers, possibly my uncles. I was too weak to even twist my hand to unwelcome the touch. I just let the few moments of grasp and felt a very slight sting piercing my flesh, and then my right hand was released. I felt my head swirl in a daze afterwards. Weak, powerless and exhausted... again, I welcomed the darkness in silence. ---***--- The next thing I knew, I was waking up with clothes on, blindfold and gag removed. My limbs were in a more comfortable position and unchained. Was I free? Has my ordeal ended? I felt a tap on my right shoulder and heard a faint whisper. I opened my unadjusted eyes... the dim light made it hard to determine the shadow that clothed and freed me. "A-Aliki... you're a-safe now... I moved you out of the m-mansion... but I can't c-carry you through..." I heard the familiar voice said in a very weak and trembling fashion. It was my father... He knew about the torments that I have experienced and all he could do was cover and take me somewhere to free me? Were these the only things he was capable of doing? Hearing no words from me, he continued, "We're somewhere, I don't know this place... but it's far enough. You'll be safer here." "I" will be safer? Was he about to abandon me? What kind of father have the gods provided for me? I felt enough hatred against him to last my lifetime. "I should t-thank you for f-freeing me... but I w-won't..." I said straining to steady my voice, "If you have just practiced euthanasia, then I should have been more thankful to you. I can not fathom how you could s-swallow a-all of these..." "A-Aliki... I have no choice..." he said, as his voice trembled in guilt and in shame. "Y-you always have a ch-choice... father... b-but you ch-chose yourself i-instead of m-me..." I said trying to keep myself from weeping, even as I felt the twinge all over my body and the splitting ache of the ripped flesh behind me... "y-you should have chosen to l-let uncle release the forth strike towards my head... it c-could have been the one that ended my suffering." He cried... in pity? In shame? In anguish? I didn't care... However he felt that moment, it was not my concern anymore. "Is that your way of saying sorry? F-forgive me, but your p-pleadings and e-emotions don't matter to me, father... remorse can never undo what had happened, repentance shall never bring b-back my innocence, guilt is not enough to pay the grief that your family has caused... and you! How could you just stand in one corner t-tolerating every second of torment I received? How, father?" He just continued to sob, now with louder whimpers, moaning like he couldn't bear what has happened -- to me and the drifting relationship between the two of us... like, hell, he couldn't bear! Even as I felt so much resentment against his relatives, I resent him even more. As my view of him became clearer, I just knew that my resentment to him became stronger. "L-leave now... leave before I regained my strength and vanquish you to eternity," I declared in anger through the hoarse voice I could muster. "A-Aliki?" I sensed my father's sudden fear and aggravation... "L-Leave now... b-because if I e-ever see you near me again as I gain full control over myself, I swear to the gods, I-I will use all the p-powers I have to make you vanish from everyone's memory forever!!!" "Y-you don't know what you're saying, Aliki... I am y-your father!!!" he practically shrieked trying to make me realize what I have just declared. But his words fell into deaf ears... I let out a furious scream, "You!!! You contributed nothing but a seed to fertilize the egg inside the womb of my mother! You did nothing but a big disgraceful sperm donation! How dare you call yourself my father! I am not your son! Leave now! Leave, before I lose my sanity and place your life under a horrible curse!" He was shaking, tears welling from his eyes... Coward! A big losing coward... the coward that he was left me lying there on a place only the gods know where! My weakness once again was about to triumph. I endured all emotional traumas, the ripping aches of each violated flesh, the tenderness of every vein... I would not give up, but with tears in my eyes, my mind began casting a black cloud that I didn't realize would bring nightmares to my sleep for a very long time! ---***--- "Feyah!" |Kalithenis| {- No! -} I woke up sweating and screaming from a nightmare. I heard some rushing footsteps coming from outside. Looking around as I was breathing hard, I observed the wooden walls varnished in mahogany shade and the sun's rays are penetrating through the blue sunscreen curtain neatly arranged by the open window. A slightly old woman with a gentle face came rushing from the door to the right side of the bed where I was lying and immediately brushed my back caringly. After a while, she asked in Filipino, "Ano'ng nangyari?" {- What happened? -} I didn't answer her... I didn't know what to say and I didn't know who she was. I looked around, still agitated and trembling, I didn't know if I could trust this woman. She smiled at me. "Huwag kang mag-alala, hindi ka maaano dito." {- Don't worry, nothing bad will happen to you here. -} After a few while, I felt my fear subside. "N-nasaan po ako? S-sino po kayo?" {- Where am I? Who are you? -} She explained that she and her husband, whom she requested me to call "Tatay Ben", saw me lying unconsciously in the middle of their rice field. At first they thought that I was already dead but when they verified and saw life signs, they immediately took me and nursed me there in their shack. She asked me to call her "Nanay Cora." She had a very soothing voice; almost reminding me of my mother, except her pitch was rather higher. She was supposed to ask me about something when we both heard my stomach growled. She smiled and told me to rest for a while as she's going to bring me something to eat. As I weakly moved myself, I was surprised to feel no pain. I tried to move again but I felt no more signs of wound or swell anywhere from my head to my toe. It took me by surprise -- could it be possible that I could heal myself even without my awareness? I've never done that before, not at least in my recollection. But then again, so were the realization of my "breathing-of-life" powers and me freezing my father in midair... I didn't know what was going on and I still felt very weak to even bother. I was about to close my eyes to rest when suddenly, a loud bang startled me and frightful scream from Nanay Cora filled the air. Weak as I was, I managed to get out of bed and tried to locate her as I could sense something was wrong. That view horrified me: I panicked as I saw shattered pieces of china, as a sight of Nanay Cora gasping as she pressed hard on her bleeding abdomen stuffed my head. She, too, was lying on the floor. I looked around and saw nobody so I feebly crossed the kitchen and went to attend to her. I tried calming her down. Without any help in sight, I had no other option -- this woman helped me unconditionally but I knew I had to return the favor even though I was still weak. I had to heal this bleeding woman. I might be unaware of what had happened and what would happen afterwards, but healing could be performed without a doubt. She was trying to say something to me but I stopped her telling her to calm down and stop moving for a while. I lifted her blouse to just below her chest to be able to locate her wound. I meditated, trying to reach to my inner power to heal her. As I did so, we both saw a yellowish light shone out of my hands. I was surprised for it was never apparent before! I managed to maintain my focus; the life of this woman was in my hands. In just a few while, we were both aghast to find a single bullet started to rise gradually from her abdomen. As it completed its ascend, in about a minute or so, her wound gently began to heal, as well. Moments passed, it was as if she was never hit by anything at all and I could tell her blood started to circulate again as I saw her previously fainted face began to redden. I felt exhausted... then, I experienced soreness from my abdomen, not excruciating, but uncomfortable enough as though I was hit by a bullet! After a few trice, I felt like throwing up and no matter how I tried, something was bound to set loose off of my gut. I opened my mouth wide and I couldn't believe what happened next -- in our view, a cloud of small insect-like creatures surfaced from my gaping mouth (like "the Green Mile" effect) and flew into the air. Only after a few seconds, they thinned and completely faded! In the Imrama discipline, it is necessary that the healer is in good state of health. But during the time I was healing Nanay Cora, I was defenseless and susceptible -- so instead of deflecting the pain or the illness she was feeling previously, I must absorb it through my body first before I could release it through such hideous and awful way. Then we felt somebody's presence. "Demonyo ka!Ano'ng ginagawa mo sa asawa ko?" |Filipino| {- Demon! What are you doing to my wife? -} Tatay Ben witnessed the final healing episode and I just knew he was shocked, angry and frightened just the way I felt about the circumstances. He thought I had hurt Nanay Cora. He grabbed me by the right arm and threw me towards the door, and in the process, my head accidentally hit the door knob. Nanay Cora was still regaining her strength but she tried to pull herself up to calm Tatay Ben down. She was perplexed, but nevertheless, calm. She was eyeing at me in a somewhat strange way, a mixture of fright and joy -- if there was an expression such as that. Seeing Nanay Cora on her state, Tatay Ben came to her and gave her support so she could stand up, his eyes on the blood-clad blouse she was wearing. He was trembling, I knew, out of fear, confusion and fury. He cursed -- milder compared to the curses I have received from my fath-... no... Go Deng Wei's relatives. I just stood up as I felt a bump on my forehead from hitting the knob. My vision was starting to blur... again! In her gentle and weak voice, Nanay Cora spoke, trying to explain the whole event as short and as quick as possible, stressing that if it wasn't for me, she could have already died because of the bullet that hit her gut. She handed the bullet still covered in blood to Tatay Ben. Tatay Ben was shocked knowing about it, "Ligaw na bala?" {- A stray bullet? -} Nanay Cora replied gently, "Mukhang aktibo na naman ang mga rebelde..." {- It seems that the rebels are active once again... -} The old man looked towards my location and perhaps saw my bumped forehead. He was reluctant and I could still sense his fear in him. I understood. Even I, myself, couldn't understand what just happened... to everything. Tatay Ben slowly walked towards me, trembling as he asked if I was in good state. But I was starting to feel weaker, and then, I felt a jolt on my head like it was hit by a lightning -- there was the pain, and the voices... It was that tremendous pain -- that headache coupled by different frequencies of murmurs that echoed to the back of my head like a ball bouncing back and forth, tapping each and every membrane of my mind. I sat down on a chair trying to overcome the fear of losing my sanity by whispering a chant asking the gods to let me overcome this threatening occurrence. I must not fail. "A-Anak, a-ano'ng nangyayari sa iyo?" |Filipino| {- S-Son, w-what's happening to you? -} I was aware of someone's presence in front of me and yet I couldn't visualize his face. What I could clearly see was the outline of his body radiating a mono-cyanic light -- as raffikh told me a long way back to be the human aura, or the auric field. I could barely hear his voice but I felt rather depressed and helpless, I couldn't bear the sudden mood swing that enveloped my core. It felt like the best thing to do was to just end my existence. I opened my mouth trying to gasp. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming; my body was refusing to take in as much air as it needed. "E-eth... sethre q-quiem... larrizh hasth c-colarum t-theres... sindaq kiel largh mur... b-bighyett thar sethre am largh... s-soun largh rapitho... hasth..." |Kalithenis| {- E-eth... hegemony q-queen... please help this humble servant... fear may overcome me... bestow upon me your power... I am weakening fast... please... -} I continued to chant in my native tongue, asking for Eth, the goddess of hegemony, to help me regain my control over myself. But as I was doing so, I felt my environment started to blur. "A-Anak? A-Anong sinasabi m-mo? Ano'ng n-nangyayari? A-Anak? A-An..." |Filipino| {- S-Son? W-What are you saying? What's h-happening? S-Son? S-So... -} His aura was beginning to consume me and everything went silent and then... black. --oo0oo-- [Saturday / 17-May-2003 / approx. 1100hrs GMT+8] [Northern Philippines: Back in the Hospital, Waiting Hall] "Is this the number, Professor?" Scott asked in a tone that only nearly disguised his temper. "Yes, Scott... this is his private ward. Remember your debriefing, never tell him anything about the call. We must be able to break through him and take him willingly." Xavier was firm on his instructions. "Professor, I can sense that he's already awake. Do you want me to talk to him first? I think it was just proper to introduce ourselves first... I'll do the introduction," Jean initiated. "Perhaps it would be best. We don't have much time, though. We all know that `they' are coming to get him and I can sense movements around. From the information we gathered, his power is mystic healing but we are still unaware of his mutant abilities... we need to take him with us and conduct the necessary probing when he's already safe. For now, do whatever you can to be able to make him decide to come..." there was urgency on Professor Xavier's tone. "Yes, professor... on your signal," Jean affirmed. "Alright. Scott, Piotr, while we're in there, stay here and be on guard. We must keep our eyes sharp. For all we know, `they' may be around..." Professor instructed. As they confirmed reading the instructions, Xavier signaled Jean to enter the room. --oo0oo-- [Hospital Ward: Jean's Point of View] I didn't know what to expect of this new mutant. What made him so special that we had to postpone a whole day of classes? Not that I mind, though... actually, I kind of like the journey a bit... oh, sorry... I liked it a lot. The attention that they gave us here was more than acceptable compared to what we received back in New York. We're treated like we have contagious diseases back there... while here, I could sense their happiness even just by looking at them. They're so welcoming and sociable. I liked it here. Well, Professor Xavier informed us that the father of this mutant is a Chinese immigrant to this country. He said that he's unsure about the mutant's age, 15 to 16 years old... pretty young. But what was it that made me feel this way when I scanned his room mentally? It felt very odd... something definitely was wrong in this picture... there was intense agony in the air that only a slight mental scan made me feel drying out... exhaustively. "Professor, I can sense that he's already awake. Do you want me to talk to him first? I think it was just proper to introduce ourselves first... I'll do the introduction," I initiated... I just knew I had to go first. I wanted to check out what was going on... the agonizing atmosphere inside was unfathomable. I believe the professor sensed my trouble when he consented, "Perhaps it would be best. We don't have much time, though. We all know that `they' are coming to get him and I can sense movements around. From the information we gathered, his power is mystic healing but we are still unaware of his mutant abilities... we need to take him with us and conduct the necessary probing when he's already safe. For now, do whatever you can to be able to make him decide to come..." The urgency in his tone was pretty much apparent, so I immediately replied, "Yes, professor... on your signal." He gave brief instructions to Piotr and Scott. When I turned towards the direction of Scott, I remembered the other night. He's still a little uneasy but he didn't dared look my way. I had an idea what was troubling him but I won't open it up until he's ready for it. He'd have to figure it out his own way. I won't be of any help to him unless he'd let me to. He's afraid of something -- but still, he had to battle it his own way. Maybe a little chat after this mission wouldn't harm. Professor Xavier gestured me to go in. As I was opening the door, the morose atmosphere welcomed me, and my heart seemed to stop beating... the melancholic aroma of the void seemed to consume my head. There he was -- his long hair remained messy and uncombed. He looked bigger than I expected for someone his age, but maybe because of the undersized gown he's wearing. I liked the way his tanned Pacific skin reflected the light of the lamp, he seemed to glow where he sat. In seconds, I tried to memorize him -- his thick black brows complimented his well-defined nose; those eyes, I've never seen so much expression brought about by two rounded globules surrounded by slightly thick dark lashes; his vaguely prominent jaw gave him an amplified appeal... he's an awfully good looking youth. He's looking towards the glass window and the tree outside seemed to affect him -- or was it the other way around? When his tears fell, my heart sank I almost ran towards him to comfort him with everything I had. Time is of the essence... I had to let my presence known. He was shifting his gaze towards my direction... I better project the best smile I could... "H-hi... Can we come in?" I said, feeling stupid for stammering. He didn't reply and his agitation was apparent. His reaction made me realize he's terrified of me. "Relax... take a deep breath. We're not going to harm you," I said trying to calm myself more than trying to calm him. I watched him as he did as he was told. By and by, I felt his agitation weakened. "Who are you?" he asked, then, he sighed as if he was relieved of something. "We're from the Xavier Institute for the Gifted. I am Dr. Grey, but you may call me Jean. If you'd like to know about us, I have Professor Charles Xavier with me and Miss Ororo Munroe outside. They'll be much willing to answer your questions," I replied while analyzing how to get through with him. "You're a doctor?" I felt stupid for even feeling terrified by his tone. There was a complete sense of disbelief while he was looking all over me. Ah! Now this was what I meant about subtle clothing! I shouldn't have introduced myself as a doctor anyway... for what? Perhaps he thought I was lying for the uniform didn't suit me. How could I make this youth believe that I was not lying... better find a reason, fast. I couldn't risk antagonizing him by making him feel he was being lied to. We had to take him with us... by all means. "Ah, I see... well, I just decided to dress up. I was on my way to some party when Professor and Ms. Munroe picked me up to come here," I lied. His expression didn't change. He was just eyeing me. There was no hint of smile or acceptance... "It could be that you're not a real doctor or you're lying about your costume. Please be straightforward Ms. Grey. I've dealt with a lot of lies in my life and I'm not going to welcome any from a stranger like you." When he said that, I frantically grasped both of my hips. Then I asked myself why did he seem to be older than I expected him to be? His size didn't matter to prove his age... I've seen a lot of teenagers who looked older than him judging from the physical appearance. What puzzled me was the way he judged me. His brief mental note flashed in my head -- he analyzed me thoroughly without even blinking or letting me know through his facial expressions that he did! He wasn't like any teenagers at all... he seemed... older? I asked another question to confirm my thoughts, "H-How old are you?" His answer came to shock me. "My age is never a concern to anybody, even to myself. But what concerns me right now is your purpose of coming here. Just the truth, Ms. Grey, I want the truth." His was self-contained... I could see that if I led him to another lie, he'd be able to sense it. I closed my eyes and hurriedly contacted the professor. /* Professor, I don't want you to think that I failed you. But I really need you to come right away. I slightly lied but he caught me unaware of it. Please help me... */ /* Just tell him the truth Jean... I can sense that he's smarter than he appeared to be. Make your answers as brief as possible... if you think you can not answer his questions directly, ask his permission to let us in. I'll fill him in... */ /* Yes professor. */ I sighed before I continued... "I'm a real doctor... of psychology, I must add. As I said, we are from Xavier Institute for the Gifted. This costume is a uniform we usually wear when we're on a battlefield. I'm not the only one, Ororo, Scott and Piotr were outside wearing the same..." "You're soldiers?" "Not really. I have to be honest with you... we came here to rescue you." His eyes widened as he heard the truth. He was very concerned when I heard him whisper, "From what?" Sensing this wasn't the time for any lies, I'd better ask him to allow the professor to come in, "I think I'd better let the professor explain everything to you. I just need your permission..." When he bowed, I immediately transmitted a brief message to Professor Xavier and Ororo. /* He's ready. */ I gave way to the professor as he made his way towards the bed. It took a little while before Ororo entered, but when Ali saw him, he frantically rearranged himself on the bed to kneel and bowed his head face down as he sang something like Latin or Greek songs... I couldn't make it out. I thought it was something else. I caught a brief mental note from him: he thought Ororo was somebody else... he thought what? I heard Ororo calmly entered and said, "Calm down, dear child. We mean you no harm..." but Ali continued to sing his songs... more like chants of praises... "Professor?" Jean: /* Ororo... I caught a brief mental note that he believes you're some... goddess? */ Professor Xavier: /* He believes she was Eth, their goddess from where he came from. It was apparent that his mother was from somewhere else. I suggest that we play along. Believing you're one of their gods, he felt safe. And I know he would be more than willing to come with us through you, Ororo. */ Ororo: /* But wouldn't that be lying to him? After all, he must know the truth... */ Professor Xavier: /* `They' are somewhere around, and I feel it. If we leave him here, `they' will capture him and we shouldn't let them. He was entrusted to us. We must bring him to safety... play your part, Ororo. */ Ororo: /* If that's for the best, Professor. */ "Calm down... Rise dear child and face me..." --oo0oo-- [Hospital Ward: Aliki's Point of View] Recalling the events of my past was never easy. I aged on a place where my presence was threatened by people around me for some reason or another. I didn't try to hide my tears for I knew I was not the strong me, anymore. I thought, "if I was really the `powerful one' that the prophet had foreseen, then how come these things have happened to me? And why am I here on this bed right this moment? I can't even heal the wounds that time has etched into my heart..." Perhaps the prophet was wrong. Perhaps I wasn't the right sacrifice. I shouldn't have left my island. I should have stayed with my mother -- then perhaps, my life could have better served its purpose. If I could just turn the time back, I could have opted to stay with her... I could have managed to control myself... I could have been stronger... I could have been happier. Suddenly, before I realized it, the door opened. I looked towards the door and in came a beautiful lady with a fair complexion and wearing a tight black latex coverall. Her red hair flowed gently towards her back and she was smiling at me. She said something like, "Can we come in?" before she smiled again. I got paranoid. I've never seen her before in my life. I looked around disconcerted. I didn't see the two old people who took care of me before I got in this place. I was hectic inside. "Relax... take a deep breath. We're not going to harm you," she said very smoothly. She silenced for a while and examined my reaction. I sensed my restlessness subside after a while, something in me felt at peace with the visitor. "Who are you?" I asked calmingly as I breathed a sigh. She smiled and introduced herself, "We're from the Xavier Institute for the Gifted. I am Dr. Grey, but you may call me Jean. If you'd like to know about us, I have Professor Charles Xavier with me and Miss Ororo Munroe outside. They'll be much willing to answer your questions." "You're a doctor?" I looked all over her disbelievingly. "Ah," she smiled and realized her outfit didn't fit her profession, "I see... well, I just decided to dress up. I was on my way to some party when Professor and Ms. Munroe picked me up to come here." I could make out that she's lying. The twitching of the eyelids, the slight tremor of her lower lip, the unnecessary subconscious gestures, the uncomfortable body language, and the slight reddening of the cheeks... yes, she's definitely lying. "It could be that you're not a real doctor or you're lying about your costume. Please be straightforward Ms. Grey. I've dealt with a lot of lies in my life and I'm not going to welcome any from a stranger like you." As I said that, I felt liberated. The anxiety that I felt inside somehow emptied and I could feel my pride and equanimity grow. I saw the surprised look on her face, "H-How old are you?" she asked. "My age is never a concern to anybody, even to myself. But what concerns me right now is your purpose of coming here. Just the truth, Ms. Grey, I want the truth." She sighed, she knew she was cornered. I saw her closed her eyes and silenced for a moment before she continued, "I'm a real doctor... of psychology, I must add. As I said, we are from Xavier Institute for the Gifted. This costume is a uniform we usually wear when we're on a battlefield. I'm not the only one, Ororo, Scott and Piotr were outside wearing the same..." "You're soldiers?" I asked casually. "Not really. I have to be honest with you... we came here to rescue you." That information sank a little while longer than I expected. When I've come to chew the rest of it, I sensed something was going on. "From what?" I whispered anxiously. She sighed once again, before she looked at me with sorrowful eyes, "I think I'd better let the professor explain everything to you. I just need your permission..." I bowed my head and as I did, a bald man probably in his fifties or sixties came rolling in on a wheelchair. He had a very calm eyes but his presence screamed impeccable dignity. He was pressing a button to "drive" his wheelchair towards my bed. I glanced at the door and in came -- no! It couldn't be true! By the fortunes and fate, it's the goddess!!! Eth, the goddess of hegemony herself visited my humble room! I felt self-effaced and I scrambled on my bed to be able to kneel and bow my head, face down. I trembled as I cried, chanting a faithful song to praise her eminence. Eth, sethre odo... {-Eth, goddess of hegemony...-} Hasth bighyett largh thar leth... {-Please bestow me your light...-} "Calm down, dear child. We mean you no harm..." I could swear it was the most soothing voice I have ever heard in my entire life, besides my mother's. I continued to sing my praises. "Professor?" I heard her voice questioned and then silence. All that can be heard was my joyful songs that were becoming louder and louder. Largh ki riss thar hayethe... {-My heart sings your gentleness...-} Largh sethre quiem... {-My hegemony queen...-} "Calm down... Rise dear child and face me..." I heard her speak once again and I trembled as I slowly raise my head to face her. Her hands were open wide for me. I couldn't contain my tears of happiness... I looked at her and I whimpered and sobbed soundly. She came near and embraced my frailty. No more words were said and invitations weren't necessary anymore. I felt completely safe... Even as I saw from the corner of my eyes the two other figures coming in from the entrance, I was oblivious for I've never felt the serenity such as that. In a few more minutes, we're already on our way towards the woods. I felt lighter than I have expected. A big man with a pale skin and a thinly-cut hair was carrying me on his arms. I stared at his face as we were on our way. There were slight hints of freckles on his face, but nevertheless, toned. I could feel his every muscle act as padding, but its hardness was somehow causing discomfort to my skin. As I was staring, he looked down at me and was surprised that he could project a smile. It didn't look fit of him to smile because of the intensity of his masculinity. But I smiled back letting him know I was alright. As Jean had said, he was also wearing a black latex coverall that hugged his physique. I only got a glimpse of the other man with a curious-looking visor with red shades, with the same uniform. This was the first time I've seen these odd-looking people. They're not exactly alike as the people I've seen before. The color of the hair and skin, the eyes... a lot of things were different. They're not Pacific Islanders, Chinese or Filipino, that's for sure. The thought that they were soldiers crossed my mind but their uniform screamed otherwise. I'm just glad Eth was there with them... "But where were the other gods?" a doubtful thought escaped in my head, but I swayed the lingering amounts of uncertainty I had in my mind right away. There was no talk during the procession and I felt myself fell in a daze... before I closed my eyes; I thought I saw a big ship that looked like a big black bird. But being carried like a baby in the arms of this man made me feel comforted that I thought everything I saw was all an illusion... a doctor and a professor by my side, aside from the fact that a goddess was with me... I just knew that there was no safer place. I just let my weakness overwhelmed me. For the first time in my life, I felt intense bliss cover my entirety before I let myself wander into my dreams. --oo0oo-- [Waiting Hall] Scott and Piotr were exchanging glances, each uncomfortable with the other for unknown reasons. There were no words spoken. ---***--- [Piotr's Dilemma] Piotr was leaning against the wall acting casually, slightly fidgeting whenever he saw Scott looking towards his direction. Through the red quartz visor, he was almost uncertain if Scott was really looking towards him for he couldn't look past it, but deep inside, he could feel that Scott was darting his gaze towards him... almost as if he was feeling Scott's palms gently grasping and squeezing his detailed muscles and pressing against all the contours of his body. He felt awkward thinking like that. Actually, he must not think like that about his senior, most specifically, to a male senior. For heaven's sake, Scott was a man! Why was he thinking that way? He knew that Scott had been with Jean for a long time... He knew everything about their relationship. But then again, why was he thinking like that whenever he felt Scott visor towards his direction? Was he just fantasizing or was it real? Was he just allowing the circumstance to live up his deep down lust towards one of his mentors? Through his thick and strong facade, he knew he had been attracted to Scott. He'd never been more attracted to anyone else other than him starting from a long way back. He had strong affection towards the little ones, and flirted with some female friends, but his affection towards Scott was different. In fact, Scott, in his latex uniform, was one of his favorite subjects in his jack-off fantasies. There were wishes... and hopes... that somehow, he could live it out as openly as he wanted and feel free to express his desires to him. He longed for him from the very beginning of his training... not just wanting him near... he wanted him in the flesh -- and he meant his flesh against his flesh closely bound. He would clear his throat once in a while. One of the things he disliked about their uniform is that it left nothing to the imagination. It was tight to the point that whenever he felt his lump twitched, he had to raise one of his feet in an effort to cover his bulging self. He had to clear his mind... he had to prevent himself from looking at Scott, most especially at that delicious mound of basket that was so eminent as he sit in front of him with legs slightly parted... He had to busy his mind before his lump becomes so big it forms out its own website on the face of his male senior. ---***--- [Scott's Dilemma] Why was Piotr glancing like that at him? He looked nervous and uneasy... but what made him? It just felt so weird to see him fidgeting like that when Scott couldn't remember anything wrong or bad that he'd done to him that would make him react that way. When Scott saw him raise one of his feet on top of the chair, he felt that somehow, Piotr was covering himself from his view. He thought: "Did he saw my gaze there? No... was I even gazing that direction before?! Holy shit! Why am I messed up like this? I knew that it had attracted my attention every-so-often because his basket was so full, I was just wondering how big it could be to make it bulge significantly against the tight coverall. Oh, shit! Why am I even wondering about it?" Piotr was very strong and his presence itself called out to everyone, "I am the Alpha Male!" So Scott understood if he felt uneasy if he caught Scott's gaze on his crotch. Whoever felt comfortable being stared down the crotch? But Scott was quite sure that Piotr could have mistaken it because of his visor... Piotr couldn't be certain that Scott's been staring at his body through the red quartz that covered his eyes, could he? Scott glanced at Piotr and he saw his disquieted look. He felt ashamed for some reason and immediately broke the momentary contact of their eyes. He was aware of the contact; Piotr wasn't. So what's the big deal? If it wasn't cold inside because of the centralized air conditioning, he could have been bathing in his own sweat because of the now-and-then arousal he felt as he rested his left foot on top of his right leg to cover up his stirring groin. ---***--- [General Setting] /* Scott, Piotr... please come inside to help us carry Ali. He's still too weak to stand. I want you to stay as quiet and say nothing as possible... If Ali expects any, I'll fill it up on him. */ The telepathic broadcast was clearly received by both men and each stumbled to organize themselves out of the faintly sticky situation they are in, each had to turn their backs to each other to "rearrange" themselves. /* Yes, professor */ If it wasn't a mental contact, both were sure they could have stammered for they were both caught out of bounds from the suddenness of the call. Scott gave way and let Piotr in the private ward first. --oo0oo-- [Piotr's Point of View] Scott, in his usual gentleman self, gave way for me to first to enter the ward of this newly-discovered mutant. Hearing that this mutant came from a Chinese family, I already pictured a petite man with tiny eyes and snub nose, perhaps with a reddish cheeks and a lightly yellowish thin skin almost not covering much of his veins and flesh. From the professor's information, he could have been about fifteen or sixteen years old, so there must be some pimples spreading about his face. Something typical about Chinese teens I saw from the television. Not much to my liking... But I froze on my track as I got a view of the whimpering "man" hugging Ororo. All of my expectations were challenged. He was definitely not petite as his slightly thick arms almost covered Ororo's bust from my view and his size could be mistaken to be of a twenty-two-year-old's. He had a smooth, flawless, and even-toned tan that shone from the light of the fluorescent lamp. His long straight hair that have been left uncut for a very long time flowed evenly towards his back, like that of Jean's, except his was a little messy. I saw him lifted his face to look at Ororo... and a pair of thick black brows that topped a pair of mesmerizing eyes, with slightly long and thick eyelashes wet with tears hit my senses. I let my eyes traverse his nose that made me wonder if it had been chiseled by a Renaissance artist. His lips wasn't thick, but wasn't overly thin -- a little dry because of his current condition, but nonetheless, pretty as it tremored from his whimpers. I witnessed his even-toned back muscles through his slightly opened hospital gown. I could predict there was no part of this man is soft... well, maybe "that," but there's no problem of getting it hard, either. I wondered how big he is... "Well, yeah, his height... and his length... let's not forget the girth..." I chuckled on my thoughts. There was something in me that urged me to feel him... I wondered how his unblemished skin feels against mine. Before I knew it, I scoped him and carried him in my arms and tried to make him feel a sense of belongingness... I had to make him know he's going to be safe. He didn't resist or made any act of resistance. He just rested his head on my chest as I carried him outside of his ward. I felt a sudden sense of pride, joy and... something else... something I couldn't describe. I looked down and I saw him looking at me. I smiled before he closed his eyes. I just nurtured the moment. For now, he's mine... he's all mine... --oo0oo-- [Scott's Point of View] I had to remain composed. This situation had to be handled properly and professionally. We're on a professional business, therefore, etiquette must be observed. I let Piotr in first. Being the leader, I always had to give way to the others before myself. That's the number one rule. Nobody gets left behind and it had to be applied on normal situations like this. Professor already informed us about the call giving us details of this mutant. He said he was 15 to 16ish Chinese. I never really thought about how he would look like because my mind was a little messy at the moment. I had to keep in control. It had been more than 24 hours and I still had no sleep. I had to stay awake on situations like this. I was still pre-occupied about something that kept bothering me all this time. But as I stood there behind Piotr, I almost cursed myself for not going in first for reasons I couldn't understand. I saw him -- he's not a child in my sight. He's a completely grown man! His size indicates he could have been older than his age, he could have been my age. But what got me was the way he whimpered weakly against Ororo's embrace. From where I stood, I could see his head bobbing as his long and messy hair were brushed by the motherly-caring Ororo. They almost look like distant relatives... I could see a great deal of resemblances. As I heard the meek sobs, I almost lost the strength I had. I could virtually feel his pain. That's perhaps why I was cursing myself. It could have been me hugging him, caring for him and making him feel safe. I so wanted to lift him from where he's sitting... but Piotr went ahead and did what I so wanted to do. Piotr carried him in his arms; still, I was cursing myself pretty bad... why didn't it have to be me? I should have been the one carrying him in my arms. I breathe a sigh... I had to remain my secured and ready self... this was no time for... j-jealousy? Envy? Why would I feel that way? Could it be that... My line of thought was interrupted when Piotr brushed against me gently as I gave way to both of them. I took a glance of the youth's handsome face... a face that was only his and nobody else's. A brief picture of his tanned skin contrasting the color of Piotr's exposed hands echoed in my brain. If only I disregarded my own self-righteous self-implemented rules for a while, it could have been me carrying him as we progressed to the blackbird. Shit! Big fucking shit! (End of Episode 1) Codes Legend: Transitions: --oo0oo-- - a transition from one character's setting or situation to another character's. ---***--- - provided for instances of unconsciousness, sleep, or non-relevant transitions. ---zzz--- - a transition from sleeping reality to dreaming. ---uuu--- - a transition from dreaming to awakening reality. ---vvv--- - a transition from present time to recollection. ---^^^--- - a transition from recollection to present time. [setting] - indicates setting and time in one character's story. Communications: /*telepathic*/ - indicates telepathic communications. (remark) - narrator's remarks. |language| - indicates the language spoken by the character. {-translation-} - indicates the translation of local/native language to English.