Legend: Thoughts = <>
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Ok, guys, all the disclaimers apply, that means all thanks goes to Marvel
For the X-Men, I'm just making the story. And I do read all the other
Stories and they're great, keep up the good work. They inspire me!
I drank. And I drank. I drank more. I had drank so much that I had to take a cab to get more alcohol. I settled on the club, even though I wasn't ready to be around anyone. It wasn't the first time I had put myself here and it wasn't the first time I had been put here, but every times feels like the worst time. Jace had broken my heart, only after I broke his, and left. No one knew where he was and if they did, they weren't saying. I didn't blame them. They'd gotten close to each other. Connor had been calling but I ignored the calls. I wasn't mad at him, nor was I blaming him. This was all my fault. And nothing I did could change the things I had done. I was usually so good about sex, not necessarily relationships. Hell, I was a virgin forever. It annoyed me beyond belief. I took another swig and looked over the rail of the second floor and onto the dance floor. I thought back to when everyone was happy. That night at the club...when everyone was dancing. I felt myself realizing that I hadn't danced that night.
"Do ya always gotta be sad?" Logan said, walking to the rail.
"How'd you find me, Wolverine?" I asked, looking to him, "Dumb question."
"Yer always broodin. A fella wit a face like..." Logan said, trying to muster a smile. It was foreign to him. He managed a sideways smirk.
I smiled back, "Is macho, feral Logan flirting with me?" I asked.
"I think we're way past the ruckus of us." Logan smirked.
I smiled and took another drink, looking down at
the dance floor.
"Why would you want to sleep with me?" I asked, "You're not gay."
"Yer right, I'm ain't." Logan said, "No offense. I just..."
"No explanation needed." I said. I thought about it, "No, there is some explanation needed! Why are you hitting on me?" I asked, staring at him.
Logan's face turned almost feral, "There's something about ya, kid. Maybe it's pheromones. You smell..."
I thought about it.
"I'm not sayin I love ya or somein, I just..."
"Think I'm easy?" I asked, "Pane cheats on his boyfriend, so he must want to sleep with everybody. Hell, he slept with half of the X-Men! Some of the Fantastic Four!"
"Pipe down, bub." Logan said, looking around, "It's not like that."
"Then how is it?" I asked.
"Something's been brewin between us since I've known ya, but ya were on Summers'..."
"Logan." I warned.
"I don't know if it's yer power or what, but there's something there." Logan said.
"Was this before or after Black Cat? Or Elektra...or any of the other..."
"Okay, I get yer point."
"No, I don't think you do." I frowned, "You're supposed to be my friend, the one friend who doesn't just want to sleep with me! You are supposed to be the one guy who understands me."
Logan stared at me. His face was unreadable.
"You're my comfy blanket." I said quickly.
"Ya think I haven't thought about this? I've seen ya at yer worst and..."
"What, you love me? Cause I'm such a good person?" I asked, "You can see and run and smell and all this wonderful stuff, but you missed me. You missed the fact that I'm a damaged, very gay mutant."
"You're a strong guy. A very kind person. And if ya think any of ya flaws make ya any less attractive, you're wrong." Logan said.
"I can't honestly say that I don't want to rip your clothes off and just give in, but would that make us happy in the morning?" I asked.
"Wouldn't make me sad." Logan smirked.
"Me neither. That's what makes the whole situation so much worse." I frowned, "If we do this, we could lose each other as friends. I'm not ready to lose you, too."
"I'm not Summers." Logan frowned, "I'm not gonna get clingy."
"What about territorial?" I asked.
Logan was silent. So was I. I was thinking about so many things. Jace left me. He realized the truth about me and left me, like I knew he would. Logan would never do that. He's older than me. He's macho and primal and...hairy. He's muscular and wild and...there'd always been an attraction between us. I thought about the attraction and whether or not it was real. This was proof that I had attractive powers. How could I be sure that any of these feelings he felt, or Scott or anyone else for that matter, were real.
"Look, I didn't come ta upset ya." Logan said, turning to walk away.
I grabbed his hand and he looked back at me, "Stay." I said quietly.
Connor sat in his dining room, reading the news of the day. Raiden had found out, as did everyone else. Apparently, it was the talk of the office. Raiden had found out also. She had questioned him about it and he had spilled all the details, including his lies. He tried to get her to understand that it wasn't his secret to tell, but she had gotten upset with his deception. She walked into their kitchen and looked at him quickly before ignoring him and walking to the cabinet, pulling out a mug and sitting it on the counter before pouring a cup of coffee.
"Good morning." Connor said hopefully.
Raiden ignored him and started sipping her coffee.
"I understand that you're mad, but maybe if you talk about it..."
Raiden turned to him, a little upset.
"...I lied. But, like I said before, it wasn't my secret."
"I'll deal with him later." Raiden frowned, sipping her coffee, "I'm your wife now, not just some girl you've known for a long time."
"I know that..."
"There should be no secrets." Raiden frowned, "None. Nigh. Nada!"
Raiden immediately doubled over. Connor rushed to her side and asked if she was okay. Raiden nodded, holding her stomach. Raiden found images floating in her head.
"Are you sure?" Connor asked.
Raiden composed herself, "You shouldn't have helped him do that." She said.
"Why? He's my friend." Connor said, staring at her with concern.
Raiden cringed at that.
"Are you sure that it's not because he didn't tell you?"
Raiden looked angrily at him, "You did something wrong, don't flip it on me! Look, we're all close to Jace, we all bonded with him..."
"...What about Pane?" he asked, "How many times has he laid his life on the line for us?"
"Was he thinking about us when he lied to all of us? He could have told us! What makes you so special?" Raiden asked.
Connor nodded. She was hurt. He could see it in her eyes.
"He didn't just lie to Jace, he pretty much lied to all of us." Raiden said grabbing a bag off the counter, "See you at work." She said, leaving.
Connor looked on at her. He wondered had he helped Pane lie to everyone...to his own wife.
I stood at the window of my penthouse. I'd moved the stuff back into my place and it was all unpacked. Good thing I left some stuff. I definitely screwed up. It hurt to be sober. To feel all this emotion and not know what to do with it all. It was all messed up. I hadn't really been to the office yet. It was weird, I had done something so awesome and cool, but because of something in the past, it had overshadowed everything. I took a look to the bed, to Logan laying there shirtless. He seemed to be studying me. He was beautiful. He was everything I wasn't. He was tough and rough and a total scrapper and macho. It was weird how macho he was, even when he held me. That's all I could bring myself to do after the club. He seemed content with cuddling.
"He'll come back, bub." Logan smirked.
I nodded and turned back to the window, "People always leave...but sometimes they come back." I said.
Logan seemed to be trying to read my mind. I could hear muddled thoughts.
"Peyton Sawyer. One tree Hill." I said, "Teen show. Curiously, none of them are teens."
"Characters or actors?"
"Actors." I smiled, "He'll come back, but it won't be for me."
"How do ya know?" Logan asked.
"Call it psychic's intuition." I chuckled.
"If I didn't know ya, I'd think ya was still drunk." Logan said, standing.
"But you know me better, right?" I smiled, turning to him.
He had paused, sniffing the air. I paused too at the first reading of telepathic signatures. Not telepaths, but regular humans. Regular humans. No one is regular. No such animal.
"Get outta here."
I walked over to him, "Make me." I said, taking a defensive stance.
Logan groaned before unsheathing his claws, muttering a curse under his breath. I raised my hands to my chest, ready to blow someone away, but instead, we turned to a huge sound. We turned in time to see a helicopter shining a huge light into the room. Wolverine shoved me out of the way as a turret of bullets began piercing his body! As he fell to the floor, the door cracked open. A very necro-icky guy rushed in, looking very terrifying. I stood but in an instant, he had me by the throat and threw me backwards into the wall! As I dropped to the floor, I watched him hoist Wolverine over his shoulder and jump through the window and onto the helicopter.
"That's a nasty scratch." Doctor Petities said, wiping blood from my forehead with a cloth. The downed guards had come in, along with reinforcements. They had whisked me off to Doctor Petities, where my friends had assembled. None looked too happy. They did look worried. It was early. They'd put in for my bedroom to be fixed immediately. It would be fixed by the end of the day. The thing I was really worried about was Logan. They said that they were sending a more experienced team to get him but I objected. I owed this guy pain. I had described him and they'd come up with a name, Bloodscream. I read his file and it was a mile long. He was a total bad-ass, with very specific ties to Weapon X and Hydra. They had taken Wolverine and the only thing I had to go on was that it was Bloodscream. He could be working with any super-villainous groups. I twitched as Doctor Petities applied pressure.
"So, he slipped past how many highly armed guards?" Raiden asked, folding her arms.
"Six. Killed four." I frowned.
"And exactly what was Wolverine doing in your bedroom?" Raiden asked.
"Raid..." Connor warned.
"Just what business is that of yours?" I asked.
She looked offended.
"He heard about Jace, from God knows who." I frowned looking at every one of them, "I mean, my life is common knowledge these days."
"Well, maybe if you weren't doing bad things, you wouldn't have to be ashamed." Raiden frowned.
There was a long pause before the doctor announced that he was done. I thanked him as we walked to our War Room. Maria Hill was waiting for us. We all took seats. I sat in the middle chair. Connor and Melissa sat on either side of me. Instead of sitting beside Connor, Raiden took a seat on the other side by David and Melissa. Declan took the empty seat beside Connor. Hill started by saying that he knew who took Wolverine. A branch of Weapon X, newly resurrected. It was a little initiative but was up and coming. Someone was rebuilding and I was determined to find out who. He was also determined to let the Avengers handle it. I reminded him that this was the kind of thing we were here for. He looked at me with suspicion.
"So, they want Wolverine again..." I said.
"What would they want with him?" Declan asked.
"Are you kidding? He's a valuable weapon." Connor said, with a little more giddy than anyone was used to.
"He's not a weapon." I frowned, "No living being is a weapon."
"But there are some tools out there." Declan said, looking down at the table.
Hill looked between us.
"That guy, Bloodscream, will be waiting." Melissa frowned.
"Yeah and we're down one really powerful telepath." Declan said.
I looked to him but back at Hill, "Just type in the coordinates and I'm there." I frowned.
"You'll need your whole team to pull this off." Hill said.
"The kid's still learning." I said.
"I'm not a kid." Declan hissed.
"Shut up." I said angrily, "Here's where I make a plan, right? David and Melissa will go first and Melissa can shut the power down. We'll need a diversion."
"Like a disappearing woman?" Raiden asked.
"Exactly." I said.
"What about when she gets tired?" Connor asked.
"She'll have a strong man there to help her." I smiled, "Look, we've been undergoing a lot of lately, but we're a team." I said, "Whether you love me or hate me right now, we've got to pull together."
"He's right." Hill said, "Now's the time to see what you're made of. S.H.I.E.L.D. will be watching. I'll prepare a jet that will put you just outside their patrol perimeter." She said, leaving the room.
"Do you think this is a game, Junior?" I asked.
Everyone looked shocked. I was staring right at Declan, who looked just as shocked as everyone else.
"What?" He asked.
"Seriously, it's one thing to undermine me in front of my friends, which I wasn't too fond of, but to do it in front of someone that could shut us down... "
"Dude, bite me."
I stared at him, sending a pain bolt to him. He began to hold his head and whimper.
"Pane!" Raiden yelled, running to him.
She broke my concentration. I stood there as they studied me.
"You won't disrespect me anymore or I swear I'll break that whole going into your mind thing. I'll put you under the impression that you're a spoon." I said angrily, "Just an FYI, don't piss me off."
"How could you do that?" Raiden asked, "There is something seriously wrong with you!"
"Right." I said, "Let's get all this out in the open before we leave. You guys think I drove Jace away. I had sex with someone else and that's between me and Jace. He left because he chose to run like a coward."
They all looked at me incredulously. It was the first time I had said what I'd been thinking and it felt extremely satisfying to say. I could feel their anger.
"I'm the leader of this team. I've lead you guys for years now and this is still me." I frowned, "I've risked my life for all of you at one point or another and at the one sign of human error I make, you turn on me? I'm still here. I could have disappeared off the map forever, but I came back to face everything I've done. I came back to face him and this mistake and he left like the coward I never knew he was! Be mad at me, hell be angry, but don't you dare blame me for being human!" I said, leaving.
I walked down the hall and into my office. I shuffled papers around, looking for something I couldn't find. The door telekinetically shut behind me. I had nerve to say those things but if I didn't, I'd regret not saying it. The door opened and Melissa walked in. I turned to her and she smiled.
"I don't think...I mean..." Melissa stammered, "I know what it's like to disappoint people. I've been a drug addict, homeless, a cheater, all sorts of things."
I smiled to her.
"It's just so unlike you." Melissa said softly, "They're in shock. I can relate."
"If it's one thing I can bring, it's the shock." I chuckled nervously.
"He'll come back. That's how much he loves you." Melissa said, turning to the door.
"I love him too." I said, causing her to stop, "Took losing him to realize it. It happened so fast."
"Usually does." Melissa said, leaving.
I let her leave. I could sense that she was true in her empathy. They had every right to be shocked. Hell, I was shocked. The night it happened, I hadn't known. I hadn't gone with him in the hopes to rekindle a relationship. I hadn't gone there for some rough screw. I went because he needed forgiveness. Now I was the one in need of it. In all my thinking, I let down my telepathic wall and was flooded with thoughts, images, and feelings. I kneeled to flooding of all this telepathic chatter.
(I can't believe he did it.)
(Gay guys and their drama...A sin is what it is.)
(Fuck, is he alright?)
The last one was also a statement, though modified to "Dude, are you okay?" and I felt a hand pulling me up. I looked at the owner of the arm and felt a twinge of worry from him.
"Dude...are you alright?" Declan asked again.
"No. Yes." I said patting my head, "I just...there was a lot of...and I..."
Declan stared at me.
"Did you need something?" I asked.
Declan had sat some files on the desk before helping me up and regarded the papers again, "I brought these." He smiled weakly.
"And to say I'm sorry." Declan said.
"It's okay. You're pissed at me and maybe you're right to be." I said, "I did a bad thing and you didn't like me before."
"It's not that...I didn't like you." Declan said, "I just think you're full of it."
I chuckled, "Sometimes, I am." I smiled, "You know, I've been doing this since I was sixteen."
"Not saying you don't know what you're talking about, just saying that you're full of it. You're dramatic and junk." Declan said uncomfortably.
"And you did a bad thing. I'm conflicted. Now you're more human to me, but you cheated on my friend." Declan said.
"I never asked your power." I said.
"Well, when you're a mutant, asking your power is like asking your name." I smiled, "To have Jac...for him to tutor you, it has to be mental."
"I'm an okay empathy." Declan shrugged.
"Really? That's awesome." I smiled.
"Thanks." He smiled, "I'd better go back and read up on Weapon X. Not that I'm going or anything."
"The reason you're not going is because this is dangerous. I get that you want to be consider a valuable part of the team and all, but you're young. I've seen a lot of people my age and younger die. I like you, despite you thinking I'm full of it. You tell me the truth. I'm not looking to lose another member." I explained.
"How am I supposed to get experience?" Declan asked.
"You'll get your chance. Soon. I just know it." I said, "See you when we get back."
Declan nodded as he left the room. He made me feel better. It was good to know that people weren't as mad as I thought.
Hank McCoy stood in his laboratory, mixing chemicals. I stood watching him. He was always so studious and doing all these experiments. I envied his brain power. I was never the smartest, in terms of books. I was resourceful but if I had to disarm a bomb or something without powers, I was screwed. Even at the Mansion, he was studious. He had come here a while ago, joined the Avengers, if I had heard right. Even had a girlfriend, not that I'd pry. Before I got too far, he regarded my presence. He turned, with a bear hug and greeted me. After a little small talk, we finally got to what I was there for.
"I heard about Wolverine, pity." Hank said, "I am glad that your team is going after him. He's all but safe."
"That's not why I came here." I smiled.
"Oh, preytell, what do I owe the honor of your presence?" Hank asked.
"My mutant powers...I need you to run a test." I said.
"Run a test? On your powers? Stars and garters, are they returning?" Hank asked.
"Returned. Past tense." I said, "I need to know what my powers are."
Hank nodded and I rolled up my sleeve, ready to give him whatever he needed to.
The facility was heavily armed. We had come in and were instantly barraged with bullets and lasers! Raiden `ported all over the room while Connor ripped out pieces of the floor and shielded himself while simultaneously fighting several guards! Melissa was shooting lightning out of her hands and taking down guards. It was hard to see if they were dead or not, but with Melissa, I assumed they were just knocked out. David was also in the fray, where he shined. He was doing all sorts of acrobatics. He reminded me of a red-devil. Without the red. I rocked a few guards off their feet and walked into the middle of the battle zone. As a laser was shot my way, I levitated into the air and avoided it, coming down and landing a disarming kick on the guard. I spun around, kicking him in the chest and causing him to fly away a few feet. The guards were coming in more force than they had been. I told everyone to be on their guard for anything suspicious! Raiden `ported to me and we disappeared. When we appeared again, we were behind a guard who was watching monitors. He went for his gun, but I placed my foot on his holster and kicked back off the console and kicked him in the chest. I walked over to the screens, looking for any trace of Logan. I instantly spotted him.
I turned to Raiden, "Get me in there and then get out. Come back, lock the door and release the doors to the other captives." I commanded.
"Yes, sir." She sighed.
I ignored her tone and walked to her, grabbing her. We disappeared again and appeared before Logan. Before she could even think of leaving, I walked over and unlatched Logan from the standing table. He fell to a heap on the floor.
I turned to Raiden, "Get there and do as I said, but first call for reinforcements!" I commanded.
Raiden's eyes grew larger and I turned to Logan. All I saw was metallic claws coming at me and the only thing I could do was raise my arm in front of me. I fell to the ground on impact, thanking the fact that I still had my arm.
"Get out of here!" I shouted to Raiden.
"It's an order." I frowned.
Raiden's eye spasmed a little before she finally did as I asked. I turned my attention back to Logan. I'd seen Logan like this before. Maybe not so bad, but he didn't seem...human. His thoughts, the ones I could catch, were primal in nature. I crawled backwards, rolling out of the way as his claws came down again. I rolled to my feet and back away from him. He let out a very deep growl before lunging at me again. I tried to run, to get away from him, but as I was running, he pushed me into a wall! I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and I shivered a little. A hand pulled me off the wall and threw me backwards! I skidded across the floor, trying to crawl away, but he was quicker than me. He crawled on top of me and began ripping at my clothes. I struggled, trying to get away, saying his name, as if saying it could bring back the person I'd known. He grabbed me roughly and turned me over, ripping my pants so hard that there were now welts across my stomach and legs! I screamed out, hoping it would spark something inside of him. I could do anything as he was ripping my clothes off! I squealed as I kicked him in the stomach, causing him to skid backwards!
"Animals and their urges."
I looked to the voice and saw a middle-aged man. He looked to be around his mid-thirties. He had soft reddish hair, almost brown. His chin was sculpted and he had bright red eyes. Finally, something odd about him. He was wearing a white jacket and slacks with a button up.
"My, but you are remarkable."
"Do I know you?" I asked, trying to hold my clothes up.
"Forgive me, I've heard so much about you...And I'm sure you've heard nothing about me." He smiled.
"What did you do to Logan?" I asked.
"It's interesting that you call him Logan, instead of saying `what did you do to my friend'. Did his indiscretion sway your feeling?"
"They said you'd be short and spunky." He smiled, "My name is Barber Hastings. I am a protégé under Mr. Sinister."
"Yeah, I killed him. Wanna be next?" I asked.
There was heavy breathing behind me. I figured that Logan was still there, waiting to pounce.
"He obeys my commands." Hastings said, "A farcry from being controlled by you and the X-Men."
"He made a choice..."
"Animals aren't capable of choices." Hastings frowned.
"How'd you do it? Chemicals? Mind Control?" I asked.
"Nothing so archaic." Hastings said, "Just a little implant."
"The kind that can go crackle?" I smirked.
"Ah, but what if this is an inhibiting implant?" Hastings smirked.
I took the time to think about what he said. There could also be an inhibitor in whatever implant Logan has. It was not a risk I could afford to take.
"He almost raped you...do it. Finish him." Hastings urged.
I thought about it.
"MAKE A DECISION!" Hastings shouted.
I flipped my hand at Logan, imagining what an implant would look like, and there was a slight pull as the implant burst through Logan's skull and hovered in front of me.
"My, but you are ruthless." Hastings smiled, pulling out a large button, which he pressed.
The implant began beeping and I flung my arm, trying to get it as far away from me as I could and it exploded, taking me off my feet! From the floor, I looked over to see Logan's face healing. I sighed to myself and pressed a button on my belt before passing out.
I stood at my newly fixed window. They had moved fast. That's what I liked about this place, they moved fast. There was no room to stop and think but lately, I'd had to make time. Logan was alright. A little stand-offish. The gang had made off quite nicely. The fight had gone our way. No one had anything more than a few scratches. Well, on the outside. Things were still a mess. Jace was still gone. I stared blankly out the window, wondering where he was and if he was staring out a window, thinking about me. Then it hit me...if he was, he wasn't remembering the fondness and the good times.
"I didn't hurt yeh too much, did I?" Logan asked.
I shook my head, "Wasn't you." I said.
"Was. On a primal level." Logan said, "I..."
"Don't." I smiled.
"Don't suppose yeh'll be seein one eye soon, will ya?" Logan asked.
I smirked, "No." I said, "Why are you two fighting?"
"He let something happen that ought not've happened." Logan growled.
"Logan, I saved you. I deserve more than you'd tell some journalist."
"Indie murdered people. Summers let her." Logan said.
"It's been a long time in the making, you and him." I said, "Wait, Indie? One of the lights?"
"You betcha bub."
"Couldn't have been Scott. He'd never..."
"He's changed. Or maybe he's just morea himself." Logan shrugged.
"What about your wayward son? The Dark Wolverine..."
"Travelin wit Laura."
"Laura? As in X-23? I miss a lot." I said, "I actually wanted to ask what happens next...shades of the old me."
"Doesn't sound like ya changed all that much." Logan said, "It's been a slice."
"Do you think you could...just stay with me until I fall asleep?" I asked.
Logan looked at me nervously.
"I trust you." I smiled.