Alex and Sebastian 52

Hello again guys, this is it. The final "Season Finale" for Alex and Sebastian. I hope you guys enjoy!

Also, please continue to email me so I know someone is reading and liking what I'm writing. I also have a playlist of songs that I listen to while writing the chapters if y'all are interested.

The email you can reach me at is lore.guerra13@gmail.com for questions, comments, concerns or donations ha-ha, just kidding!

A fellow reader made a playlist with most of the songs I've either used or will use in the series. If y'all want to listen to it while reading the chapters the link for it is this:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJZWEUrY9KRSfQ98rYlMYix46VM0CJ7XS

Two new songs will be added on to the playlist.

Thinking Of You – Katy Perry

Still Yours – James Morrison

BTW, as promised, here's the link to my new story: Emanon

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/emanon/

I plan to work on this one now that A&S reached this conclusion so keep in touch!

In all seriousness, please don't forget to donate to nifty here, without which we wouldn't have this collection of great stories!

Every story is free on here, so please let's keep it that way and donate, guys.

http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The Wedding

Alex

After leaving the rehearsal dinner last night, I had driven Matt and I home with mixed feelings.

A part of me felt sad and guilty about having to break it off with Matt. After all, he had tried his best in what was almost a two year relationship – it just wasn't love.

Another part of me was confused and scared over the feelings I had now admitted to myself about Sebastian. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit happy that, after all these years, there was still something between us.

We are meant to be together, he had said.

I had fallen asleep next to Matt with those words circling around in my head.

Now here we all were the morning after: Lea's big day.

I had promised to help Mary Jane, Lea's sister, with all the last minute details so I had woken up a few hours before Matt. Knowing that we'd all have a long day ahead of us, I decided not to wake him, instead, I made breakfast and kissed his cheek before I left. As I walked outside our apartment, I stopped and thought about how I should tell Matt about my feelings but I decided not to – I couldn't do it the day of Lea's wedding. I closed the door behind me and decided to wait until tomorrow.

From helping Mary Jane run a few errands to picking up both Matt and I's tux and getting ready, the rest of the morning had passed by like a blur. It wasn't until Matt and I had driven to the chapel where Lea and Brandon were holding their ceremony that I realized how big a deal today was. Lea and Brandon were getting married. An old friend of mine and her fiancée were tying the knot and starting their life together. That was so adult of them.

I squeezed Matt's hand as we walked inside the chapel. I knew there was no point in it considering I had already decided what to do, but I couldn't stop myself from imagining what getting married to Matt would feel like. I looked around the church and appreciated all the work it had taken to get all this together. I didn't mean just the actual months it took to get everything ready – I meant how much Brandon and Lea must have worked together in their relationship to be ready for this huge step. It made me wonder how Matt thought we were ready for that step ourselves.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ralf

"Damn, Lea. Can't believe you're actually going through with this," I only half-teased, sitting from the small couch on the other side of Lea's dressing room. "You sure you don't just want to go all Runaway Bride with me? You still have time, you know."

I heard Lea's laugh from the other side of the wall. "As tempting as that sounds, Ralfie, I don't think I want to run away from this one."

I smiled, knowing full well that this was the happiest my best friend had ever been. "Well, don't rule it out."

I heard some shuffling as Lea stepped out from the door of her dressing room. "I won't."

I stood up, mouth agape, "Lea, you look – wow." I stared at my best friend as she stood in front of me in her wedding dress. She looked beautiful – hell, she was glowing.

"I know!" She spun around so I could see her dress move around her. "I want to wear this every day!"

I smiled and sat back down. "You're making me rethink this whole bachelor thing, Lea."

Lea walked towards the only mirror in the room. "Well, you should, Ralf!" Lea twirled around staring and smiling at herself. "You're telling me you don't see yourself married to someone, hanging out in your porch watching the sun go down?"

I laughed picturing the scene. "I don't know ... maybe."

Lea turned to face me, "Well, is there someone out there that you've been talking to? I know these past few months have been kind of crazy with this wedding thing so we haven't had a chance to talk like we used to ... but is there?"

I thought about the past few months and how I hadn't really had anything serious with anyone. Hell, I hadn't even bothered looking for a date to Lea's wedding. "Not really, no."

"Well, you should think about it, you know."

I laughed, "I just don't think I have the heart for all the angst that comes with it. Look at the mess that Alex and Sebastian are going through."

Lea gave a small sigh. "I really am rooting for them, you know? Like, Matt is a great guy and all, but I just think that, other than Jay, Sebastian is the only other guy that Alex was ever in love with."

"You think if Matt asks, there's a chance that Alex would say yes?" I asked, referring to the ring I knew he had.

Having already told Lea about it, she just gave me another sigh. "I don't know. I just hope that, whatever happens, they can both be happy. Anyways, those two are special. Don't let their shit scare you off. I'm sure you'd make a great husband, Ralf."

I smiled at Lea. "Thanks, babe," I stood up and kissed her cheek. "You really do make a beautiful bride," I said as I held her.

"Thanks, Ralfie. Now get out of here and make sure no one messes this day up for me."

I gave Lea one last smile before I stepped out of her dressing room and walked back downstairs to the main chapel. It must have been less than three minutes before I ran into him.

"Sebastian!" I said, running into him.

"Hey, man. What's up?" Sebastian stopped in front of me. "What is it?" He asked again when I hesitated. To be fair though, I really didn't want to be the one to tell Sebastian about Alex. I hated giving bad news to people.

"Um, ok man. There's something you should probably know."

"What is it, dude?"

"It's – it's about, Matt."

"Ok ... Why should I know anything about Matt, Ralf?" His eyes looked past me almost as if he expected for Matt to show up out of nowhere.

I sighed, reluctantly telling him something I was sure would only make him do something stupid. "He has a ring, Seb."

"A what?" He asked.

"A ring," I repeated. "I don't know when he's popping the question but there's a really big chance that he'd do it sometime soon," I said as gently as possible.

Sebastian nodded. "Thanks for telling me, man." He placed his right hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

I was a little baffled as to how calm he was being about this. Last time he had found out Alex was engaged to someone he had been so broken up. It had messed him up so much that he had even tried to hook up with me. Now, the look on his face made me think he knew something I didn't.

"What are you going to do about it, Seb?"

He gave me a small smile, "Hopefully nothing," he said. "I'm just going to wait it out and see what happens." There it was again, that look in his eyes telling me that there was something he wasn't sharing with me.

Whatever it was, I really did hope it was enough for him to get through this.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian

Although I tried not to think about what Ralf had just told me, I couldn't quite push it out of my mind. I had tried to distract myself by finding Lily and even having a small conversation with Emma but instead of diminishing, my insecurities kept increasing. After another minute of this, I looked down at my watch and noted that it was only ten minutes before we were supposed to be getting ready for Lea to walk down the aisle.

I knew what I felt for Alex was not one sided. Even then, a big part of me was scared that if I didn't tell him exactly how I felt I could run the risk of losing him again.

Fuck it, I thought.

I ran.

I ran faster than I thought I could down the aisles of the church.

I ran, pushing and shoving anyone I needed to.

I ran.

Losing him? Losing the only person who's ever really known me again? I couldn't let that happen.

I found Alex coming out of the restroom and, before he could close the door, I pushed him back inside.

"Sebastian?" I could see the surprise in his eyes. "What are you doing?"

I locked the door behind me and turned to face him. No time to beat around the bush, "Alex, you can't settle for a life with Matt. You can't."

"Sebastian," I knew he was about to try to talk me out of what I was going to say but I wasn't going to let him.

"Look at me." Grabbing him by the shoulders, I got closer to him. "Forget everyone else. Forget Emma. Forget Carol and Lea and Ralf and Matt. I don't care what the rest of the fucking world has to say. I'm a fuck up, yes, but when I look at you, I don't feel as big a fuck up anymore. When we were younger, I said I didn't want to lose you ... and then I did. And that was the biggest mistake of my life. I – I don't want to go through that again."

"Sebastian," he said, confused look in his eyes. "You don't know what you're saying."

"That's the thing, Alex. I do. Just – just look at me, forget about everyone else, this is just between the two of us. You - you were the perfect person for me at the worst fucking time. It's not either of our faults that we met at the wrong time or that we can't go back and do things again or that, after all these years, when I finally realized how much I loved you, how much I missed you – you had someone else."

I could see Alex trying to follow what I was saying. I knew I was rambling but I had years' worth of words inside me and I needed to tell him.

"After the wedding, I don't want you to leave again. I want you to stay." I held his hands in mine and pulled him close. "Please stay. Please don't leave me again."

Alex's eyes traveled from my lips up to my eyes. Was it my imagination or was there something hidden behind them? "Sebastian, I – we have to go," he coughed. "We'll be late and Lea will kill us."

Alex walked around me and went for the door. I held him back by his forearm. "To be continued?"

There it was again – that look in his eyes. I smiled when I realized the thing I noticed was the familiar way he used to look at me. "To be continued," he smiled.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex

The ceremony had been beautiful. From the church to the décor to Lea herself walking down the aisle in a beautiful wedding dress, everything was perfect. Even Lily in her flower girl dress turned heads.

As beautiful as everything was, thinking about the vows Lea and Brandon shared made me feel melancholic. Even as they spoke, I remember the feeling of Matt's hand squeezing my own. I had looked at him and smiled but my eyes betrayed me as I looked past him and met Sebastian's eyes. With a deep sigh, I had turned away and focused on the two lovebirds in front of me.

Once the ceremony had been over, I had offered to stay back with Mary Jane and help her get everything in order while everyone headed to the reception hall for the wedding party. Matt had insisted on staying behind with me but I told him MJ and I had it covered. It took us about 30 minutes to get all the rented decorations back into her truck and, in that time, she confessed to me how she was developing a small crush on one of her sister's friends.

"Really?" I asked, putting the last of the flowers in the truck. "Who is it?"

Mary looked away embarrassed, "It's that Ralf guy."

My eyes nearly popped out of my sockets. "Ralf?" I laughed, teasingly.

"Yes! What's so wrong about that?" She asked.

"Nothing," I smiled as I thought about Ralf's past relationships – myself included. To be fair though, Ralf and I had been forever ago and, if I remember correctly, he had dated a few girls, too. "You should go for it," I encouraged her.

"You think so?" She looked at me.

"Yeah, he's a great guy." After a few more seconds, I added, "You should totally make the first move, though."

"Okay, I will," she smiled. "You and Matt ever think about tying the knot?"

Her question caught me by surprise. "What's that? Oh, uh, I'm not sure. I'm sure Matt's thought about it more than me, though." I thought about the engagement ring he had been hiding from me for the past month. Yup, he's definitely thought about it more than me.

"He's pretty hunky," she smiled. "You're lucky."

"Yeah," I said, half-heartedly. "I am."

"Well," she said, closing the back door of her truck. "That's everything. We can head to the wedding party now."

"Yeah, okay," I said. "Actually, so sorry. I need to step into the restroom one more time before we go if that's okay."

"Yeah, that's fine," Mary said looking at her phone. "I'll wait here."

Giving her a small nod, I walked back into the empty chapel. I didn't need to use the restroom, really. I just wanted a few more minutes alone before having to go to the wedding party where both Matt and Sebastian were waiting for me. Slowly, I made my way to the front of the church and sat on the floor of the small stage where Lea and Brandon had tied the knot, feet dangling off the edge. I shut my eyes and bowed my head thinking about the vows they had both shared. They loved each other – there was no doubt about that.

No matter how hard I tried, I could never honestly say that's how I felt about Matt.

I squeezed my eyes tighter as I thought back to the few moments I shared with Sebastian last night and right before Lea walked down the aisle. Even thinking about it, I felt a little breathless.

Without realizing it, a sad song made its way into my head.

"Comparisons are easily made once you've had a taste of perfection.

Like an apple hanging from a tree, I picked the ripest one.

I still got the seed.

You said move on – where do I go?

I guess second best is all I will know."

I looked around me at the now empty church. Who would have thought that, only half an hour ago, two people had started the rest of their lives here? I know I should be happy for them, I know that. I just wished it could be that easy for me, too.

If I could go back in time and stopped myself from moving back here, would my life have been easier?

Would I have been able to marry Matt?

Would I have forgotten all about Sebastian?

"You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter.

Like a hard candy with a surprise center.

How do I get better once I've had the best?

You said there's tons of fish in the water so the waters I will taste.

He kissed my lips – I taste your mouth.

He pulled me in – I was disgusted with myself."

I continued to sing the song stuck in my head, my voice softly echoing through the empty church.

No, I realized.

My coming back here didn't push me away from Matt. Sooner or later, I would have come to that decision myself. No matter how I cut it, no matter how hard we tried, Matt and I weren't meant to be together.

This was going to end with Matt hurt or us resenting each other.

My coming back had only quickened the inevitable.

"Cause when I'm with him I'm thinking of you.

What would you do if you were the one spending the night?

Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes.

You're the best and yes, I do regret how I could let myself let you go.

And now the lesson's learned.

I touched and I was burned.

Oh, I think you should know ..."

I thought back to the night at Lea and Brandon's Halloween party.

I'm still in love with you, Alex, Sebastian had said.

I remember the feelings his words had raised in me. Feelings I thought I had buried a long time ago. How quickly they had clawed their way back at his confession, though.

If that hadn't been confusing enough, he had made his way back to me at the end of the night and kissed me. Only, it wasn't a regular kiss – it was so much more than that. I touched my lips as the memory of that night made its way back to me.

"Won't you walk through and bust in the door and take me away?

No more mistakes.

In your eyes I want to stay."

I finished the song and remained sitting for another few seconds. As I sat there in silence, a small cough caught my attention.

"That was very beautiful," a familiar voice said.

I turned to face the last person I thought I'd see.

Emma.

"Emma," her name exceed my mouth. "Thanks," I said, trying to be polite.

"May I sit here?" She asked as she got closer to me. Silently, I nodded.

Of all the people I would want sitting next to me, Emma was definitely not high on the list. We remained sitting there in silence before she spoke again. "I'm sorry, you know."

I turned to look at her. "About?" I asked.

"About the way I treated you when you were here before."

I couldn't tell whether she was being sincere or not. Regardless, I accepted her apology. "Thanks," I said. "Don't worry about it, though. It was years ago. We both did things we aren't proud of." It took me a few more minutes before I mustered the courage to say what I said next. "I'm sorry, too."

Emma didn't say anything. Instead, she nodded, too.

"I know this is none of my business," she said. "But can I get something off my chest?"

I nodded, "Uhu."

"Despite all the shit we went through all those years ago, I want you to know that I really did care about Sebastian. He was my first love."

As much as I wanted to call her out, I knew I had no right to. I had hurt Sebastian, too. He had told me as much.

I didn't get to take the high road here.

"Even then, I grew to love Mark, too." I turned to face her as she continued. "You and," she cleared her throat. "You and Sebastian never needed to do that." I lowered my gaze as I finally realized she was being sincere. "I'm sorry I hurt both of you."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"Because," she smiled. "I want him to be happy. He's the father of my daughter, after all."

"I'm with Matt," I said, unsure if she even knew about him.

"I know," she smiled. "But I also know that the song you just sang wasn't about him." She met my eyes, "Was it?"

I looked down at my feet, ashamed of my answer. "No," I said. "But why does that mean it had to be about Sebastian?" I asked her.

She gave me a slight smile. "Isn't it always about him?"

I sighed, realizing that yes, it was always about him.

We sat there a few more seconds in silence. "I should go," Emma said. "I only came back to get Lily's headband from the restroom." She showed me the small red headband in her hand. "I'll see you around, Alex."

I nodded goodbye at Emma as she turned away from me and walked back out the church.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian

Once the ceremony at the church was over, I drove to the wedding party and waited for Alex to show up. After about an hour, I tried looking for him but couldn't find him anywhere, instead, I ran into Ralf talking to a girl. "Hey, man. Have you seen, Alex?" I asked.

"What's that?" Ralf turned around to look at me and I noticed that the girl he was talking to was Lea's sister, Mary Jane.

Mary Jane looked over at me and smiled. "Alex? Yeah, we got back here about 20 minutes ago. As soon as we got here, he and Matt walked outside. I don't know where they were headed, though."

I turned to look at the doors leading to the outside.

Please don't have left already.

"Sebastian, you okay?" Ralf looked at me and I tried to hide the fear in my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine, man," I lied again.

Ralf knew me too well to know when I was lying, though. "Hey," he squeezed my arm and met my eyes. "Go to him. Do it." I gave Ralf a small smile and nodded. Turning away, I heard Ralf say one final thing, "Don't fuck it up again, Sea Bass."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex

The conversation I had with Emma at the church took a lot out of me. All the feelings that had risen in the past few days engulfed me and made me feel like I was drowning. The feelings were so confusing that when Matt asked if we could take a walk outside, I agreed. Not only did I need the fresh air but I could also use this time to tell him how I was feeling. I know I had decided until after the wedding but God knew I had postponed it long enough.

We walked away from the reception hall in silence, walking towards the back. "It's such a beautiful night outside," I said, looking at the numerous stars in the sky.

"It is, isn't it?" Matt agreed looking up at the moon lighting our way.

"So where are we walking to, Matt?" I asked, realizing that we were headed to a small section of woods behind the reception hall.

"Just wait," he said as he led the way through a small worn down path. "You'll see."

"Wow." I nearly stopped in my tracks as we broke through the bushes and we were greeted with the sight of a beautiful little pergola in the middle of the garden covered in vines and small flowers.

"Pretty, right?" Matt asked.

"Very," I said, not looking at him. Instead, I walked closer and admired the view. The pergola was right in the middle of a neatly trimmed green garden. Small string lights were scattered between the vines running up and across the roof of the pergola. A water feature was located in the center of the pergola with small benches on every side. Everything was made more romantic and beautiful under the moon's light.

Something in my stomach dropped. "Matt," I said as I turned around and was met with the image of him down on one knee, an engagement ring in hand.

"Alex," he started. "Alex, will you do me the honor of being my husband?"

With those few words, my heart finally broke. Seconds turned to hours turned to days. After what felt like an eternity, I shook my head, "I'm sorry, Matt. I – I can't." Along with my heart, my voice was breaking, too. "I – I can't marry you. I'm so sorry." I could feel the broken shards of my heart crashing into itself. I covered my mouth to avoid saying any more that could hurt him.

"Alex, wait," he said as I turned away from him. He held my arm and asked me to look at him. "Can you – can you tell me why?" I looked into his eyes and saw how hurt he was. "We can fix this."

"Matty," I said as tears began to run down my cheeks. "I'm sorry. There is nothing to fix. I – I just can't. I'm so sorry."

"Alex." The look on his face now was one of regretful understanding. "Please don't lie to me," he said, standing up. "There's really no reason to anymore." The next words out of his mouth seemed to stick on his throat but he came out with them nonetheless. "You – you still love him, right?"

I didn't need to ask who he was talking about. I met his eyes but I couldn't see them clearly as mine were already pooling with tears. "Matt," I started.

Matt didn't break his gaze. I noticed his eyes were getting glossier by the second, though. "I – I see the way you look at him, Alex," he said as he pulled me closer to him. "I didn't want to say it out loud before but you – you've never looked at me that way."

I looked away from him and swallowed the terrible feeling that rose like vile in my throat. "I'm not trying to hurt you," I said.

"I know," he said as I turned to look back at him. "You love him, don't you?" He asked again.

I met his eyes this time. He deserved having me look him in the eye after dragging him along this long. "I – I can't imagine the day that I won't," I said.

Matt turned away for a second but not fast enough before I saw the broken look on his face. "And he feels the same way?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Then go to him." He cleared his throat and I noticed how wet his eyes had become. "It's what's best for all of us." A sad smile formed on his lips. "Do it."

"Why are you being so nice about this?" I asked. I couldn't understand how he could be so supportive.

"Because," a small smile broke through his teary face, "I meant it when I said I'd love you no matter what."

Slowly, Matt leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes as I wept for the life I could have had with Matt. All too soon, our kiss was broken and Matt walked away from me. I crossed my arms at the night's chilly breeze and wiped more tears from my face.

I decided to spend a few more minutes out here before heading back to Lea's party. Arms still crossed, I sat back on one of the benches in front of the water feature and waited for the nausea and heartache to pass.

I thought I loved Matt.

We had been together long enough for both of us to think that. He was funny, kind, smart, and handsome – he was great.

But if he was so great ... why couldn't I say yes?

Had I made a mistake?

Should I have said yes to Matt?

"Jay," I closed my eyes and imagined his face. It had been years, but his brown eyes and blonde hair were something I couldn't forget. "Jay, I just need to know what to do." More tears spilled out at the thought of my ex-love. "I – I miss you."

This heart has been broken.

This heart has been fixed.

This heart it is opened by Machiavellian tricks.

This heart has its reasons, its hopes and its flaws.

This heart is still mine.

Which means it's still yours.

When Jay had proposed to me, I hadn't hesitated on an answer. I had said yes and it had felt so right.

This was infuriatingly frustrating.

"Liar."

I blinked away the tears.

Who was that?

"You lied to me, jerk."

I saw a figure walking towards me wearing a tux. As they got closer, I noticed their pants were a little dirty on account of having walked through the woods.

"Leave me alone, Sebastian," I said, realizing who it was. I was feeling guilty enough at the moment – I couldn't handle his actually being here.

"You said, `To be continued' but you left before that. You lied."

I looked away from him, trying to hide my face.

This heart has its beating.

This heart has its bruise.

This heart has its bleeding, its match and its fuse.

Sebastian must have sensed something was wrong. Slowly, he sat next to me and placed his arm on my shoulder. "What's wrong, A?" I wiped the tears away from my face. "You can tell me," he insisted.

I turned to face him, his eyes as hazel as the first time I saw him. What was it? Almost a decade ago? "Matt – he proposed to me tonight."

I felt a small tension form in Sebastian's arm. "Oh," he said. "What did – what did you say?"

I couldn't keep looking into his eyes for fear that I'd break down again so I looked down to my knees. "I – I said no."

"Why did you say no?" He asked, almost at a whisper.

"Because," I gulped. "Because I realized I didn't love him like that."

This heart has its workings, its mouths and its cures.

This heart is still mine.

Which means it's still yours.

Sebastian's eyes never left my face. I could feel them anchored to me. "You're not in love with him?"

In that moment, I realized something: I was done trying to push him away. I met his eyes. "No," I said.

"Look, Alex, can I tell you something?"

I nodded, not tearing my eyes away from his, afraid he might vanish if I did.

"When I said I wanted you to stay – I meant it. I need you to know that you – you are the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me."

This heart has its timing.

This heart has its clocks.

This heart has its chiming – it ticks and it tocks.

Sebastian stood up from the bench and kneeled on the ground in front of me. "Look at me, Alex, I mean really look at me. Look at me and tell me you don't feel what I feel. Tell me I'm wrong in this. Tell me that you don't love me – that after all this time, I'm not your person. Look at me and tell me that. But don't you lie to me or yourself anymore. Eight years ago, I had all the cards in my hand but I still managed to fuck up the one real thing I had. Now, the cards are in yours and you can decide how we spend the next eight years. But I guarantee that, whatever you decide, we'll run into each other again because that's just who we are. Deep down, we both know it's not supposed to end like this. We both know we can't say goodbye." He gave me a small smile before adding, "Goodbyes don't tend to stick when it comes to us."

I looked at Sebastian kneeling in front of me. I remembered all the pain and the hurt and the lies we had gone through years ago – but I also remembered how intense and amazing and real it was between us. I loved Jay and I knew that I would never not love him ... but I loved Sebastian, too. I loved him first. Not as much and not any less than I loved Jay – just in a different way.

This heart has its longing,

So it endures.

This heart always mine,

Will always be yours.

Looking at him now, I knew he was right. We couldn't say goodbye to each other. I don't think we ever really did.

I looked at the man kneeling in front of me and touched his face. The years had changed the shape of it, he was a man now but nothing could ever take away what made him ... him. What made me fall in love with him years ago was still there. I could touch it and feel it as much as I could touch and feel him now.

"Sebastian," I said, my heart burning inside of me. "We made a huge mess out of everything. We lied and we broke and we hurt everyone around us."

"We did." His hazel eyes finally melting the walls I had built up. "But I would go through all of that shit again if it meant that I could be with you." I noticed his hazel eyes had become wet as he met mine. He held my face between his hands. "I love you."

If you want it,

It's still yours.

If you'll have it,

It's still yours.

If you need it,

It's still yours.

Matt was right. There was really no reason in lying anymore. "I – I love you, too," I said.

It was in that moment that Sebastian leaned over and put his lips to mine. Or maybe it was me? At this point, I couldn't remember who kissed who and I was too overcome with feelings to even care. All I could think about was Sebastian's soft lips pressed to mine. His kiss felt like an explosion inside me. Years of longing and torture forgotten in the few moments our lips touched.

"It's you and me, okay?" He said through teary eyes. "No more fucking around. No more stupid fights. No more secrets."

"No more," I nodded and held his face. "I don't want to mess this up again." In that moment, all I could feel was how fast my heart was beating as I touched Sebastian's face. "I love you," I said again, pressing my lips to his.

Maybe if you ever want it.

If you ever, you ever, you ever need it.

If you ever, you ever, you ever want it.

It's still yours.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's note: FYI, I am including an epilogue chapter after another small hiatus. Do keep in touch with me through email or through my other story if you want me to update you whenever it posts ;)

Love you guys, thanks for this awesome ride!