Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2006 03:06:10 -0800
From: Scott MacIlherron <alistairsstory@hotmail.com>
Subject: Alistair's Story, Chapter 1, Gay Male College

Disclaimer:  This story is pure fiction, a work of the author's
imagination.  This story contains homosexual relations between
men and sexual intercourse.  By federal law in the United States
of America if you are under the age of 18 it is illegal for you
to be reading this right now.  Hit the Back button now.

                           Back-story

     Hi, I would like to introduce myself.  My name is Alistair
MacNaughton, pronounced (Alice-ter) (Mac-not-un).  I know, I know
my name is very Scottish even though I live in California.  The
reason I have my name is because when I was born my mom wanted to
name me Alexander or Alex.  My dad's side of the family was
Scottish and wanted my name to be Alistair which is a form of
Alexander.  So since it was the same thing my mom said OK.  If
you are wondering what the name Alistair, Alexander or Alex
means; it means something to the effect of "Leader of all Man".

     Ok, enough about my name.  I was born in the city of Lodi,
California but then 3 days later went back to my home in Jackson,
California up in Amador County.  I am the middle child in a
family of 5, my sister is 2 years older than me, and I have a
brother 2 years younger than me.  Yeah, I know, we were planned.
Of course my two parents.

     Where I grew up and live is a highly republican county
called Amador County.  The people who end up being born here are
considered, "The Good Old Boys".  Usually their families have
lived here for ages.  Since the county is very republican and in
the country there are lots or racist and homophobic people living
here.

     I first found out that I was gay when most every gay guy
finds out, when they hit puberty.  I was 13 years old and just
starting the 7th grade.  This was when you were very first
required to shower after the PE class ended.  Of course at that
time all the guys were hitting puberty.  You know what that
means;  the guys were popping wood all the time.

     When I first started jacking off I knew some pretty hot
girls in my grade.  I was picturing them in my mind as I was
jacking off.  Slowly after a couple months in PE and taking
showers, my thoughts changed to guys.  Guys and how they would
look naked and how big their dick was and what they could do with
it.  At that time I was pretty naive and I did not know what gay
guys did for sex.  Then when I started paying attention to what
the other guys were talking, mostly who they were making fun of,
and I slowly figured out that they blew each other and had anal
sex.  Of course after I found this out I started imagine what it
would feel like and be like.

     All of this continued until I got in high school where I at
that time had never dated anyone or admitted that I was gay.  In
my sophomore year in high school I wanted to take theatre.  My
school did not offer any theatre classes so I had to transfer
over to the other high school in our county just for the theatre
classes.  After 4th period I would get in my 1959 Ford F-100.  No
this truck was not restored back to stock.  It was just an old
truck with fading and rusting red paint.  During high school my
dad and I were restoring it back to stock.  Anyways, my beginning
theatre class at school was just a dump class.  So to get into
advanced drama you had to audition so it would weed out the
people who did not want to be in the class. I went through the
beginning class and at the end of the year I auditioned for the
advanced class and made it.  Once my junior year started all I
could look forward to was my theatre class.  Now being the more
liberal of the two schools in our county;  this is where the gay
kids went to school.

     In our drama class there was three gay guys and one lesbian.
I thought to my self, "Self, you are going to get a boyfriend
this year".  I made really good friends with a kid my same age
named Mark.  He was one of the gay guys.

     On a Friday in September I was walking around campus during
lunch and stopped right in my tracks with what I saw.  Mark and
his boyfriend Dan making out in a secluded corner of the campus.
Where I was standing I could not be seen by Mark or Dan.  I must
have stood there for about three or four minutes before one of
the football jocks knocked me back out into reality.  I didn't
know him very well because I mostly went to the other school.  I
only came over to this school for the theatre and musical theatre
classes.  I think his name was Reed.  He grabbed me by the arm
and jerked me away down another back hallway that not many people
used during lunch.  Then he started yelling at me.

     "Fag, are you getting off watching those two make out you
mother fucking homo."  At this time I was too bewildered to say
anything instead I just stammered like a complete idiot.  At that
point he kicked me really hard in the shin.  I collapsed in pain
and withered there while he pulled out his cell phone and called
his other jock football playing friends.

     Just a couple of moments later five more jocks showed up and
started yelling and harassing me.  Right as that was happening
the ten minute bell rang.  At that point Reed yelled, "Fag, we
all need to go to class but we will see you after school."

     I got up and composed my self as best I could and then went
to my last class for the day, musical theatre.  During the
beginning of class I asked my teacher if I could leave five
minutes early so I could make a doctors appointment on time.  He
said that it was OK.  Near the end of class I packed up my bags
and headed out to my truck.  As I got to my truck Reed and his
friends came out from behind me.

     Reed started saying, "So you think you are smarter than us
ass hole, trying to get out of class early to avoid us.  You're
just a fucking coward.  We knew you would try to do this so we
got out of our classes early.  Were going to have some fun with
you today."

     At this all the other jocks just laughed.  I tried to run
but only got two steps before I was grabbed since they were so
close.  They then sucker punched me right in the stomach to keep
me quite and then dragged me to one of the jocks truck that had a
camper.  Reed got out some rope and tied my hands and legs
together so I couldn't move.  As I was trying to yell for help
they stuffed a dirty football sock in my mouth to keep me quite.
Right after they stuffed the sock in my mouth they hit me in the
head and I passed out.

     When I woke up I was still tied up but now the truck was
moving.  I sat up as best as I could and all I saw were trees and
fields moving by and two other trucks following us.  We were no
where near civilization; we were on a back country single lane
road.  After a while the truck stopped and they all got out and
opened the tail gate.  They then shoved me off the edge onto the
ground.  Now I have to let you know that this guy had a lifted
truck.  I must have fallen four or five feet before I hit the
ground.  I hit the ground hard and my head smacked against the
ground giving me a splitting headache.  One of the guys had a
tent and tent stakes in his truck with him and he only got out
the stakes and some more rope.

     They forced me behind the trucks so no one driving by would
see what is happening.  Not that people were driving on these
back roads often.  After Reed kicked me once again they untied me
put 4 stakes in the ground forced me into a hand and knees
position and tied me to the ground so I couldn't move.  They then
took turns for the next hour and a half fucking me up the ass.

     Some people might think that since I was gay I would enjoy
this but I didn't.  I absolutely despised and hated the people
who were doing this to me.  After they were done they then hog
tied me and blind folded me and told me if I ever told anyone
what had happened they would out me to the whole county and both
schools.  They knew that if that happened I would have the shit
kicked out of me at least once a week until I got out of high
school.  Then they drove away.

     I was found a day and a half later dehydrated and passed
out.  A police officer was out on the back country roads actually
looking for me because my boss called my parents and asked me why
I was not at work.  Now at this point you must be thinking what
bad parents I had.  I was gone for a day and a half and they
didn't notice?  No, I often spent nights at my friends house
doing projects and wouldn't call them so they assumed that I was
at a friends house and then went to work.  At that point my
parents and boss got worried and started calling around to my
different friends to see where I was.  No one seemed to know and
lots of them said that when they left school on Friday my truck
was still there.  My parents called the sheriff, police, CHP,
CDF, and local rescue crews and told them that I was missing.

     Since I live in a small county the law enforcement does not
go by the city rules of waiting 48 hours before they start
searching.  They started searching that day.  They finally found
me on Sunday morning around 6am.

     When they finally found me and I came to there was an
ambulance and the police car with two paramedics and the police
officer who found me.  At that point I started crying and
thanking everyone for finding me.  I told them that I thought
after a day that I was going to die out here.

     I was then taken to the hospital fixed up for minor cuts and
bruising and dehydration.  After I had rested for awhile the
police officer's came in to question me.  They asked me if I know
who did this to me and if it was more than one person who
participated.  Remembering what they had said I kept my mouth
closed for fear of the same thing happening to me again. Also, I
kept my mouth shut for the reason that the shit would be kicked
out of me at least once a week.

     I went back to school that next Monday and nothing happened
to me for the rest of the school year.

     I then moved on into the senior class and kept taking
advanced drama and musical theatre classes at the one school and
my regular classes at the other.  Shortly after school had
started a football jock named Jay befriended me.  For awhile we
were friends and then he started flirting with me.  One day he
told me that he knew I was gay because the football jocks were
talking about me to some select football players including him.
He said that he was not like the other jocks, that he was nice
and told me that he had a secret also.  He was gay.  He asked me
out and I said yes.  For the first time I went to hug him he gave
me a very stiff non warming or very embracing hug.  I didn't
think anything of this and went out with him for about a week
before he started asking me to have sex with him.

     I kept saying no, I wanted to let the relationship brew more
but he kept on insisting.  Finally I said yes and came over to
his house one afternoon.  He gave me another very stiff hug
before telling me that I should undress and he would too.  After
we undressed he pulled out four handcuffs out of his dresser
drawer.  Now I am talking real handcuffs not the cheep plastic or
metal ones; the ones that the police use.  He told me what he
wanted to do and I started panicking thinking of the year before.
He told me to calm down and that he was just into kinky sex.  So
I obliged and both my ankles and wrists were handcuffed to
separate bedposts.  After he did this he pulled out a ball gag
and told me to put this in.  I did, after awhile I was getting
into this.

     After he had the ball gag on and me secured to the bed he
started laughing.  I am not talking about a, you look funny and I
am going to have fun tonight laugh.  He had an evil, got you,
laugh.  He pulled out his cell phone and started calling Reed and
the same five jock friends.

     About ten minutes later they all showed up with cameras and
started taking pictures of me on the bed.  They kept saying that
they still remembered last year and they were doing this for
black male.  They said if I ever told anyone what happened to me
last year or today they would take these pictures, put them on
posters, and hang them all over Amador County.

     After they stopped taking pictures they beet the shit out of
me till I passed out and then drove me and my truck to a back
parking lot of some old stores and left me there.  When I woke I
was not feeling very good but at least this time I wasn't
stranded.

     The next day I went back to school and was very depressed
over what had happened and why I kept fucking up.  I kept asking
myself what I had done to deserve this other than be the way I
was made.  I only stayed depressed for a couple of weeks but in
high school never had anymore relationships or trusted anyone.  I
would panic when a guy would ask me for my number even if it was
to do a project in class or if someone yelled something at me.
Sometimes I would run to try to get away thinking that the same
thing would happen to me again.

                           Present day

     After high school I took a year off to get away from school.
Since there are no Junior Colleges or Universities in Amador
County I applied to one out of the area in Sacramento.  I really
want to major in theatre arts but my parents tell me this, "We
want you to do whatever you want in life.  Whatever it takes you
to get into college we want you to do.  (long pause)  but."  They
tell me I can do what I want and are happy that I want to go to
college but they ad a clause in at the end changing the whole
meaning of what they just said.  They tell me, "We never did
extremely well off in life and we want you to be successful.  We
want you to get a job in your profession the day you step out of
college.  We are really proud of what you do and how good you are
at acting but we don't want you struggling for money the rest of
your life."

     When they told me this I had no choice.  I had to Minor in
Theatre arts and major in something else.  Since I didn't know
what I wanted to major in I decided to go to a junior college
instead to get all the general ed. out of the way cheaply.

     I decided to go to Sacramento City College because they have
a really good theatre program.  I thought college was going to be
so much different than high school.  It is to an extent but the
same shit happens.  Since I am no longer going to school in
Amador County the people at the college are way more open to
different ideas.

     I decided to take an English, History, Theatre, and Film
editing class.  I can't wait for college to start so I can be out
of Amador County three days a week.

     August 17th rolled around and I started class.  I just want
to let you know that I don't make friends really quickly like
some people do because of what happened to me in high school and
I am also shy.  I know you are asking why a theatre person is
shy.  I am only shy around people I don't know or in areas that I
am not comfortable.  When I am on stage it is a completely
different thing.

     My English class is first and then History, Theatre, and
Film editing.  After a couple days in school I noticed a really
hot guy in my English and History classes.  From when they called
the roll the first couple of days in class I found out his name
was John.  This hot guy and I have the same two classes in a row
with one another.  He is built like a typical jock except for the
fact that he exceeds the norms because he is really hot and
completely ripped.  He always wears these tight fitting polo or t-
shirts that show off his mussels.  He looks like he fits in with
the jock crowd and would never be associated with someone like
me.

     In my English class I sit one row behind him and one row
over.  I find my self staring at him all the time.  If he looks
back I just pass my gaze to another area or I just look back at
the professor.  In history he sits 2 rows behind me and on the
complete opposite side of the classroom so it is hard to steal
glances at him.

     We got this project in history where we have to do a
presentation on a certain subject and how it pertains to American
culture.  We were allowed to pick what we were going to do for
the project.  After we picked she would then pair us with a
person in the same category.  For example if some one picked
baseball; she would pair he or she up with someone doing
something else in the sports category.

     I picked the entertainment category and decided to do my
presentation on melodramas as an influential form of American
theatre.  Later near the end of the class period the professor
sent around a sheet with what we are doing for our presentation,
the date we present it, with who were are going to be paired
with.

     The paper started down my side of the classroom first.  When
it got to me I looked at it and saw that I was paired with John.
My heart skipped a beet but also I mentally cringed with the
thought of what happened in high school.  The paper kept snaking
its way across the classroom from person to person from row to
row.  When it finally got to John he flipped through the pages
till he got to his name.  He looked down and then made a huh
sound.  Not an inquisitive, that's cool, sound but an, oh dam I
have to work with that guy, sound.

     When he made that sound my heart stopped beating and I swear
to god I broke out in a cold sweat.  Our professor said that we
were going to be let out ten minutes early so we could meet out
of class to talk about how our partners and us were going to do
the project.

     I started panicking and trying to get out of the classroom
as soon as possible.  As I start walking out John comes up beside
me and asks, "So what class are you going to next?"
     "Acting" I said quite quickly while I was still panicking
and trying to get away from John because I thought he was going
to hurt me.
     "Well, I'll walk with you because my next class is in the
music building.  And by the way my name is John Collins," he said
extending a hand to shake.
     I took it and shook firmly just like I was taught.  He had a
good firm handshake.  God I hate those dead fish handshakes.  At
that point I think it was just me but I felt a jolt of
electricity curse through my body.  Now I have had this happen
before when I shook another guys hand that I liked even though he
was strait.  I think it has to do with your mind messing with
you.

     As we kept talking I started to calm down thinking that he
has no clue what happened to me in high school and why should I
be panicking.

     "So when I looked at the paper in class I noticed that your
name is Alistair," he said.  "I made a kind of huh sound because
I thought it was an interesting name.  How did you get it?"
     Warming up to him and after what he just said I realized
that he wasn't going to hurt me and I became friendlier.  "My mom
wanted to name me Alexander or Alex but my dad's side of the
family is Scottish and wanted to name me Alistair.  My mom knew
it was the same thing so she said OK.  It means leader of all
man."
     "Cool," he said.  "I don't know what my name means."

     We sat down in front of the Theatre building and kept
talking about ourselves. Eventually the topic got around to
girlfriends and if I had had any.
     "No," I said.  "When I was in 7th grade there was this one
girl who caught my eye but wasn't really my type," I said.  "And
I'm going to answer your next question before you ask it.  Yes I
am a virgin."  At least with girls, I failed to mention my
secret.  "What about you."
     "Well I have had three girlfriends up until now," he stated.
"An.."
     I butted right in, "only three with your looks I would have
thought you would have had more."  I immediately regretted saying
that.  I started to blush and then panic, thinking to myself that
I just gave my self away and if he finds out it is going to be
high school revisited.  All he did was laugh though, and oh god
what a laugh.  It was deep, non-nasally, slow, reverberating
chuckle that you could feel in your chest sitting next to him on
a metal bench.
     "I get that a lot," he said.

     At that point I looked at my watch and noticed that it was
11:45am.  "Oh, shit," I said.  "I didn't realize we had been
talking so long.  My class started at 11 o'clock."
     He looked at his watch and confirmed to himself that I was
right.  "So did my class.  I guess that time just got away from
us."
     I said, "See you later." I started walking toward my theatre
class hoping that I would be able to slip in.  As I was walking
toward the class he called out,
     "What's your phone number?"
     I started panicking thinking about the last time that a jock
had asked me for my phone number.  I got hurt and humiliated.  As
the panic rose up in me I started to run to my truck.  That day I
missed my theatre class and film editing class.

     As soon as I got to my truck I jumped in started it up and
drove away.  I drove for awhile until I calmed down.

     The next day in class we were sitting in the same seats as
last time and he kept looking back at me.  I kept avoiding his
glances though.

     After class I tried once again to hurry to my theatre class
to get away from him but he caught up with me about half way
there.

     "Hey Alistair," he called.  "What happened to you the other
day?  Did you forget a book or something?"
     I kept walking acting like I had not heard him.
     "Hey Al you OK?"  He said right behind me grabbing my
shoulder firm but not in a harmful or hating way as had been the
case before with the high school jocks.  Instead he grabbed it in
a friendly way.
     As soon as he touched me I started to panic and tried to get
away from him.  He felt and saw this and grabbed my other
shoulder and spun me around to face him.
     "Hey buddy, Alistair, what's wrong?" He said with a
concerned look on his face.

     After a quick look at his face I knew he wasn't going to
hurt me and I started to calm down.  Wow I thought to my self.
This guy is concerned with me and how I'm doing and I just met
him two days ago.

     Bad idea, as soon as I thought that I started thinking that
he was going to be like Jay and try to blackmail me and hurt me.
As I thought this the panic rose really fast in me and I tried to
breakaway again, this time violently.  He let go and when he let
go since I was struggling so hard he was my support so as soon as
he let go I fell.  When I fell I bonked my head and blacked out
for just a couple of seconds.

     When I came around after about 30 seconds the first thing I
saw was John kneeling over me looking strait down at me with a
look of panic and concern on his face.
     "Alistair, Alistair," he said in a panicked tone.  "Jesus,
I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you by grabbing your shoulder,
are you OK.
     At that point I was still groggy and all I could say was,
"uh, huh." Then I said in a gravely hurt voice with my eyes
squinting closed, "ohhhh."
     The next thing I knew was I was being picked up by two very
strong arms.  You could feel the power that they held but he was
so gentle at the same time.
     He said as he was carrying me, "Come on buddy, we're going
to the nurse's office."

     I didn't hear much more because I blacked out again.

     Thanks all for reading this.  I would appreciate fan mail
and constructive criticism.  All flames will be ignored.  I know
this chapter is really long but it is the whole back story for
Alistair's Life.  Hope you enjoy.  Love, Scott MacIlherron