Diary Of An Unrequited Love
Dan and I left before we even started eating Thanksgiving dinner. After I got off the phone with Haleigh, I was pretty frantic. She had said that Kevin wasn't going to make it. There was no way he couldn't make it. He was Kevin. He was strong. He had been strong for the both of us at one point in time.
Dan was visibly upset as he pulled my car to a screeching stop into the first empty parking spot he came across in the hospital parking lot. We made it from my Aunt Faye's house, which was across town, all the way to the hospital in under ten minutes. He didn't think that I was in any emotional state to be driving so he drove. I would have made it there in better time than Dan did. I would have run every red light and stop sign on the way so I could get to Kevin.
On the drive to the hospital, Dan confided in me that he felt bad. Kevin had been a friend to all of us and once he hurt me Dan started hating him. Now Kevin was lying in a hospital bed dying and he couldn't do anything about it.
Dan and I took the first elevator that came to us to the second floor. This was the floor that ICU was on, the floor where Kevin was lying in a hospital bed struggling to stay alive.
I saw Haleigh sitting down in a chair in the waiting room as soon as we got off the elevator.
"Haleigh!" I cried out.
She stood up and walked over to where Dan and I were standing. She pulled us both into a big hug. I could tell that she had been crying a lot. Her face was red; her eyes were still wet as if she had just been crying when we came out of the elevator.
"I'm so sorry Ryan."
"Where is he at?" I asked as I looked around the waiting room.
I was looking to see if I saw his mom anywhere. I figured she would be there, but I didn't see her. I was glad when I didn't see her. She wasn't exactly someone that I wanted to see after the last encounter we had with each other. I knew she hated me.
"He is in a room." Haleigh replied.
I looked around the room again.
"Where is Kristen?" I asked.
"I think she left to go get some of Kevin's things from their house." Haleigh reached into her back pocket and pulled out a neatly folded up piece of paper. "I think you should read this. My mom found it next to Ryan. His mom doesn't know about it yet."
I took the letter from Haleigh and unfolded it. It was in Kevin's handwriting and was addressed to me:
I want to say one thing first. Mom if you are reading this, I hate you more than you will ever know. You have always tried to control everything that I do. You took me away from the one person that made me feel like I should. For that I will always hate you.
Ryan I just want to tell you that I am sorry for everything. I never once stopped loving you. From the first day of sixth grade I loved you. It may have not been as a boyfriend but I knew I loved you. On the day that I came to your house and found out what your psychopathic aunt did to you I was devastated. I couldn't lose you at all. I spent the next month by your side any chance that I got. I even missed graduation so I could be with you. What I am trying to say Ryan is that I am so sorry for hurting you the way I did. I cried myself to sleep night after night because I didn't have you with me. I know I am an adult, but I was scared to be on my own. I know that isn't a good excuse but it is the honest truth. My mom knew this also. I didn't want to stop talking to you. I really wanted to go bowling with you. Mom found out what I planned on doing and immediately had my phone disconnected. I had no way of contacting you. She deleted my facebook account. I never blocked you. It was deleted. She forced me to quit my job because she knew you could come in there and talk to me. She was a cosigner on my truck and sold it right from under me. I had no way to contact anyone. I had to stay at home day in and day out. I didn't know where you moved to so I couldn't go see you. I would have taken a taxi to the end of the earth just to see you again Ryan. I started sleeping more and more. Mom didn't seem to care just so long as she didn't have a gay son. I gave up. I told you once that it would be you and I to the end Ryan. I am so ready for the end Ryan. I can't go on living my life like this. That is why I had to do this. I love you Ryan Chad Wilson and hopefully we can be together again someday.
The last few words of Kevin's letter were smudged and the paper looked like it had been wet and dried. He had started crying when he was writing the letter to me.
I looked at Dan and Haleigh; tears were falling from my eyes.
"How could I have been so stupid? He loved me, how could I give up on him?
Dan grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.
"There was no way you could have known Ryan." He released the hug and looked me in the eyes. "None of this is your fault."
"I have to see him." I looked at Haleigh through my tear filled eyes. "Do you know what room he is in?"
She nodded her head. "I have already seen him. I have to warn you though he is hooked up to all sort of different machines."
I nodded my head.
"I have to see him." I said sadly. "I know now he never meant to hurt me."
She nodded her head.
"I understand." She looked at Dan. "Since he is in ICU he is only allowed two visitors at a time."
"That's fine." Dan smiled at me. "I know he would want Ryan back there. I can see him later."
Haleigh opened a set of double doors and led me down a hallway. This was the first time I had been in a hospital since I had been shot. It made me nervous. I wondered if what I was feeling was the same thing that Kevin felt when he came to see me when I was in a coma.
There was a room on each side of the hallway. The door to each room was completely glass and the wall was a solid window. The blinds were opened to each room and in front of each one of the rooms was a desk that had a computer sitting on it. I assumed that this was for the nurses to monitor each patient because most of the desk had a nurse sitting at it.
Haleigh stopped in front of the second to last door on the left side of the hallway. There was a nurse sitting at the desk in front of the room.
"Is he doing any better?" Haleigh asked.
The nurse stood up from the chair she was sitting in and looked into the window in front of her. She then turned around and looked at us.
Her name tag had a picture of her on it and it said Danielle Simmons, RN BSN at the bottom of it. She appeared to be in her late thirties or early forties. She wore glasses and had shoulder length blond hair.
She shook her head.
"No there hasn't been any change in him." She said as she looked at us.
Haleigh nodded her head. "I brought Ryan back here to see him."
"Is he going to make it?" I asked Nurse Simmons.
"The first twenty four hours is a critical stage. We will be able to determine more after that." She replied. "He is somewhat stabilized from when he was brought in."
"What happened?" I asked.
"He overdosed on a bottle of Klonopin. The doctors have him stable right now, but we are keeping a close eye on him."
I nodded my head.
I still couldn't believe it. Kevin was so unhappy with his life that he tried to end it. I now knew that he still loved me. I just had to let him know that I was there with him and wasn't going to leave his side no matter what. Hopefully that would be enough to make him pull through it.
I opened the door to his room and went inside. I walked over to his bed, looked at him and immediately started crying.
He had and IV hooked up to his right arm. There was a tube with one end running down his throat and the other end hooked into some funny looking thing on the wall that looked like a pump. He had a tube running out of his nose that was hooked into an oxygen tank coming out of the wall. There was a computer sitting next to his bed that was beeping intermittently.
I looked at the computer and saw a line running across the screen that looked like a bunch of squiggly marks on it. I had watched enough television to know that this was good.
I sat down in a chair next to his bed, grabbed his hand and started crying.
"I'm here Kevin. I love you. I forgive you for anything." I started sobbing louder. "Please don't leave me. You can't. You just can't I love you more than anything. I know that you never stopped loving me. Haleigh gave me the letter that you wrote."
His hand was room temperature. I was hoping that he would squeeze my hand back to let me know he was listening. It seemed to always work on television.
I closed my eyes and squeezed out more tears. I thought back to a time that was happier. Maybe if I brought up some of the happy times we shared it would help him.
I set the book down that I was reading to pick up my phone to read the text message that I had gotten. I opened it and saw that it was from Kevin. It was his sixteenth birthday.
Kevin: Come outside.
I got up from the desk in my bedroom where I had been sitting at. I walked down the hallway and into the living room.
My brothers were sitting in front of the television playing a video game. I opened the front door and looked out it. I saw an old rusted Ford Ranger pickup sitting out in the front yard. I could see Kevin sitting in the driver's seat.
I raced out the door, knowing this only meant one thing. He got out of the truck and excitedly ran over to me.
"I passed!" He shouted. "I'm an official driver!"
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his driver's license and waved it around.
"I guess I no longer have to drive you around everywhere then." I laughed. "You are finally a man."
"Come on get in." He walked back over to the truck and got in.
I got in on the passenger side of the truck. The inside of it was pretty run down. The cloth was falling down from the roof of the truck. The seats had large tears in them. The spot where the radio went was empty.
It was a piece of crap, but I didn't care. I was happy for Kevin.
He looked over at me.
"I know it's a hunk of junk, but it will do until I save up money for something better." He started the truck up. "How `bout we take it for a spin?"
I smiled at him and nodded my head.
I opened my eyes and looked at Kevin. He still appeared to be as lifeless as he was when I first went in the room. The beeping of the machine seemed to stay at a steady pace.
I leaned over and kissed his forehead.
"I love you Kevin." Tears ran down my cheeks and landed on Kevin's face. "Don't leave me."
The sound of the door being slammed shut made me jump. I turned around and saw that Kristen was standing in the room. She had the most hateful look I had ever seen on anyone plastered on her face.
"What the hell do you think you are doing here!" She shouted.
I glared at her.
"I am visiting Kevin."
"I don't think so." She said coldly. "You are a piece of trash that tried to turn my son into something he wasn't."
I wasn't going to let her do it. I knew she was trying to upset me. She was trying to so hard, but I wasn't going to let it happen.
I just looked at her not saying a word.
"This is all your fault that he did this!" She shouted.
The machine that was monitoring Kevin's heart started beeping faster. I noticed that the lines that were on the screen were starting to get more erratic.
"You claim you love Kevin so much, why don't you just let him be he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you and your sick perverted ideas you put in his head!"
I released Kevin's hand and stood up from the chair that I was sitting in. The heart monitor started beeping even faster.
The door opened and Nurse Simmons walked in.
"What is going on in here?" She asked sternly. "I can hear you down the hall. You can't be doing this in here of all places."
Kristen looked at Nurse Simmons.
"This pervert was trying to molest my son."
"This is your fault!" I shouted. "Kevin is here because of you! He hates you! You did this to him!"
"You need to leave this room! You aren't welcome here!"
I walked over to where Kristen was standing looked at her and shook my head. I reached into my back pocket and took out the letter that Kevin had written. I pushed the letter against Kristen's chest.
"Read this! It has your answer, this is your fault and he hates you!"
She snatched the letter out of my hand. I didn't even bother to wait for her to read it. I knew that Kevin didn't need to hear us arguing. I wasn't going to stand in there and argue with his mom while he was lying there in that hospital bed in critical condition.
I left the room and went back to the lobby where Dan and Haleigh were at. They were both sitting down. Both of them had been crying.
I walked over to an empty chair next to Dan and sat down. He looked over at me and could tell that I was upset.
"Is everything okay?" He asked.
I shook my head.
"No, Kristen came in there while I was visiting Kevin." I covered my eyes and shook my head. "She is crazy. She said it was all my fault."
"It's not all your fault." Haleigh told me. "Don't listen to her."
"I know it's not my fault. I told her that."
Haleigh got up from her seat, walked over to me and hugged me.
"Everything is going to be okay."
I nodded my head.
Even though she said that and I tried my hardest to believe it, I had my doubts. By the way Kristen acted in the hospital I knew that she had her mind set on keeping me away from Kevin no matter what. She told the nurse that I was molesting Kevin when she came into the room. How low was that?
"I have no son!" I heard a door slamming shut.
I turned and looked towards the double doors that led down the hallway to Kevin's room. That is where the yelling was coming from. The double doors that led into the lobby came flying open and Kristen stormed out.
She walked over to where Dan, Haleigh and I were sitting at. She looked at me and shook her head.
"I hope you are happy." She held the letter up that Kevin had written me. "You both make me sick. Here is what I think of you." She tore the letter in half then tore the halves in half again and tossed it at me. "I have no son anymore thanks to you! I hope you both die and enjoy your time in hell together!"
I didn't know what to think. She was acting like a maniac. Here it was a few minutes earlier she was yelling at me to stay away from her son. Now she was running around like a mad woman yelling that she had no son.
"You don't mean that." I pleaded with her.
She laughed. "I do mean it. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I let Kevin become friends with you." She walked over to the elevator and punched the down arrow button. "You two can have each other. He does hate me after all."
A bell went off and the doors to the elevator opened. Kristen stepped into the elevator and left.
"What was that all about?" Dan asked once she had left.
"I was sitting in the room with Kevin and I guess she came back from where ever it was that she had been. She saw me and started yelling at me telling me that it was all my fault that he was there." I looked down at the floor and started crying. "It's not my fault. Kevin even said so in his letter to me. I gave it to her and I guess she read how much Kevin hated her." I looked at Haleigh and Dan. "Was that wrong of me?"
"No." Dan replied. "I don't think so. You did what you thought was best for both you and Kevin."
I nodded my head and stood up.
"I have to go back there and be with him."
I walked through the double door and down the hall to Kevin's room. I knocked on the door and went inside the room. Nurse Simmons was standing next to Kevin's bed writing something down.
The beeping of the machines hooked up to Kevin had grown more steady, but still wasn't back to the same pace as it was when I first went into his room.
She turned around when she saw me come into the room.
"I hope everything is calmed down now between you two. My number one concern is for my patients."
I smiled at her. "I understand."
I walked over to Kevin's bed and sat back down in the same chair that I was in. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
"Don't give up." I pleaded with him.
I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. The beeping started to slow down even more.
Nurse Simmons looked at the computer monitor.
"His heart rate is starting to level out." She observed the machine. "After you and his mom were arguing it was becoming erratic. Even his mom touching him seemed to make it worse." She smiled at me. "Whatever you are doing don't stop. Maybe he can pull out of this and you are the person that will help him."
"I hope so." I looked up at her. "I don't know what I would do if I lost him."
"What was that all about between you and his mother earlier?" She asked. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"His mom hates me. She found out that Kevin and I were boyfriends back in September. She kicked me out made Kevin come live with her and cut off any form of communication that we could have had. I thought he hated me, but he left a note telling me how much he loved me."
She nodded her head.
"I'm sorry to hear that." She replied. "Kevin is a sweetheart."
I looked at her with a puzzled look on my face.
"You know Kevin?"
"In a way," she replied. "You were a few rooms down here not too long ago. I was your nurse and he was by your side every chance he got. Only a real friend would do that. He would come in right after he got out of school, check in with me on your condition and then go to your room where he would eventually fall asleep."
I smiled. That was the Kevin that I knew. He would do anything for me.
"I love him." I told her. "You may think it's gross for two guys to be in love, but I can't help it. It's how I was born."
"I know sweetheart. You do realize I work in a hospital and a majority of the male nurses are gay. I know a thing or two."
I was starting to realize that not everyone shared Kristen's same twisted view on being gay. It seemed like more and more people were supportive of Kevin and me.
"Thanks." I told her.
"If you need anything, just feel free to ask."
She smiled at me and left the room.
I looked at Kevin, I just couldn't get used to the sight of him being hooked up to all of those tubes and machines. He looked so vulnerable and weak.
I squeezed his hand tighter.
"I love you so much Kevin."
I spent the next few hours in the room with Kevin. Dan went in to see him for a little while after I was done and Haleigh went after that.
I wanted to stay all night, but I wasn't allowed to. Nurse Simmons promised to call me if there was any change in Kevin's condition during the night.
Friday morning I slept until the first rays of sunlight shined through my window. I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock, which read 6:15. I smiled as I thought about what my day would bring.
I had to be at work at three and I planned on spending the entire time before I went to work at the hospital. He needed me and I was going to be there with him.
I stepped out of the elevator and onto the second floor of the intensive care unit a little after six thirty. The lobby wasn't as busy as it had been the day before. There was one woman in the lobby and it appeared as if she had spent the night in her chair.
I walked through the double doors that led down the hallway towards the ICU rooms. There were different nurses than last night. I didn't recognize any of them.
There was a young nurse sitting at the desk in front of Kevin's room. She turned around and smiled at me when she heard me walk up to the door.
"How's he doing today?" I asked her.
"He appears to be stable. He made it through the first twenty four which is one of the most critical times. His vital signs are all stable which is a good sign." She smiled at me. "How have you been sweetie?"
"Um I've been okay." I twisted my facial expression into a look of deep thought.
"I'm sure you don't remember me. I am Britney; I was one of the nurses that took care of you while you were here." She explained. "I can see you made a remarkable recovery."
Was I that easy to remember that all of the nurses seemed to know who I was from whenever I was here back in May? I guess they all liked me.
"You have a good friend in there. I hope he makes it through." She said in the most sincere voice imaginable. "He was here all of the time that you were in here."
"So I've heard."
I chatted with Britney for a few more minutes before going into Kevin's room. I still couldn't get used to the sight of him being hooked up to all of those machines.
I sat down in the chair next to his bed and held his hand.
"Good morning Kevin." I told him. "You have no idea how badly I have missed you. I was so happy when I got your letter and found out that you still loved me. I just wish I could have found out under different circumstances."
I leaned over and kissed him on his forehead. I so badly wanted to kiss him on the lips, but the tube running out of his mouth prevented me from doing so. It had been way too long since I had felt his soft warm lips against mine.
I smiled as I thought to the first time that we had ever kissed. I closed my eyes and drited back to that night.
We sat on my bed. The television was tuned to some sort of New Years special.
"What are you thinking about?" Kevin asked as he looked over at me and smiled.
"Oh about how lucky I am. I have the best parents that any guy could ask for. I have two pretty awesome little brothers that don't annoy me. I have the bestest, I know it's not a word so cut me some slack, anyhow I have the most awesome bestest friend anyone could ask for."
"Well duh." Kevin laughed. "I'm filled with awesomeness."
I playfully punched him on the shoulder.
"Isn't someone just full of himself tonight?"
I sat there on the edge of my bed right next to Kevin. We sat so close that our legs were touching. He was staying over that night and we had both changed into our night clothes. For both of us it consisted of a pair of athletic shorts and a plain white t-shirt.
Kevin looked at me. It was an odd look. It was as if he wasn't just looking at me, but was trying to look into my soul. His blue eyes stared deeply into my green ones.
He looked away from me and at the television. They were starting the countdown to the New Year.
"Five." We both said together. "Four."
Kevin looked at me again with a huge smile on his face.
"Happy New Year." We both announced.
Kevin closed his eyes.
"Happy New Year."
He leaned over and kissed me on the lips. I closed my eyes and reveled in the moment. I couldn't believe it he just kissed me. It was the first time I had ever been kissed on the lips it felt amazing.
I heard a squeaking sound followed by a click.
Kevin must have heard this too. He broke the kiss. When I opened my eyes he looked at me with the biggest smile on his face.
His cheeks were red.
"I hope this year is one of the best you ever have and is filled with good things for you."
There was a knock on my bedroom door and it opened. My mom came into my bedroom.
We looked a lot alike. We both shared the same facial features, same green eyes and same dark brown hair color.
She looked at us and grinned.
"Happy New Years boys," she held up her hand like she had a glass and was making a toast. "Here is to new beginnings."
I opened my eyes and looked at Kevin. His face was wet from the tears that I had been crying. The first time I ever kissed him was amazing even if it didn't last as long as I had wanted. I thought to what my mom said. I didn't see it then but it was like she knew. She knew that I was in love with Kevin. Maybe the relationship between Kevin and I was the new beginnings she was talking about that night.
I missed her. I missed my dad and my brothers. I couldn't lose Kevin too. I would be so broken up.
I squeezed Kevin's hand. Maybe I just imagined it, but it felt like he squeezed my hand back.
I must have been tired from staying up so late and getting up so early, because the next thing I know I am being woke up by someone coming into the room. I looked up and saw that Nurse Simmons was in the room, writing down information off the computers hooked up to Kevin.
"How is he?" I asked.
"The doctor came in earlier and checked on him." She smiled at me. "He wants to take him off the ventilator. His oxygen level is steady, his breathing pattern is almost back to normal and his blood pressure is back up."
"That is good news." I was ecstatic.
"The doctor only wants to keep a patient on a vent for the shortest amount of time possible. If they are kept on it for too long, further complications can arise such as pneumonia, respiratory problems and even dental problems." I understood every word she was saying. She didn't try to use a bunch of medical terms that I didn't understand.
"Is he going to be okay?" I asked.
"The doctor thinks so. Only time can tell. He was pretty bad when they brought him in. He died on us for a moment."
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I had no idea that Kevin had died. Just the words Kevin and dying in the same sentence didn't settle well with me.
"If you want to go for a walk or get something to eat, I'm going to call one of the other nurses in here so we can get him off this vent."
I nodded my head.
I was pretty hungry. I didn't eat breakfast that morning, but I didn't want to walk all the way down stairs to the cafeteria to get something to eat. I wanted to be with Kevin every moment possible. I found a vending machine in the corner of the lobby and got a bad of chips. I ate the bag of chips as fast as I could.
When I got back to Kevin's room, Nurse Simmons and some other nurse that I hadn't met yet were coming out of the room.
"You can go back in there now." She told me.
"Can I ask you something?" We were standing outside of Kevin's door.
"As long as it is information that I can disclose you can ask me anything."
I nodded my head towards the door.
"Do you know if his mom is going to come back?"
She shook her head.
"I don't know. She was pretty upset after you left and she read Kevin's letter. She said some pretty bad things about the two of you. She screamed and then left the room. She hasn't called to check on him today so I am not sure."
I went back into Kevin's room, he looked more like himself. He no longer had a tube running down his throat. He looked like he was just sleeping peacefully with a nasal cannula on his face. Nurse Simmons had laughed and told me the correct name for it after she heard me call it the oxygen thingy.
I leaned over and kissed him on his lips. They were dry and chapped.
I sat down next to him again and held his hand.
"You can do this Kevin. Fight it."
I stayed with Kevin until two-forty five and had to leave to go to work. I carried my work clothes with me in my car and changed into them when I got to work.
I was relieved when ten o'clock came and I was able to get out of there. I headed back to the hospital to see Kevin again.
Mike and Haleigh were sitting in the lobby when I arrived. Dan was in the room visiting Kevin.
When I walked down the hallway to Kevin's room, I noticed that the nurses were different than when I left. I guess they had shift change. I saw Britney coming out of a room that appeared to be a restroom.
"Hi there handsome," she greeted me as soon as she saw me.
She walked with me down the hallway to Kevin's room. We talked the entire time. I was glad to know that Kevin had nurses like Britney and Nurse Simmons taking care of him.
We stopped in front of the door. I peered in through the window and saw Dan sitting in the chair next to Kevin's bed with his eyes closed.
"Looks like Dan fell asleep in there." I laughed.
"So it appears." She smiled at me. "I just can't get over you guys. I wished I had such an amazing group of friends when I was ya'll's age."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, when you were in here, that guy and the other guy and girl were here visiting you all the time just like with Kevin." She grinned. "All though Kevin was here a lot more than the others. We even joked with him about changing his address to here."
I went inside Kevin's room and tapped Dan on his shoulder. He stirred and looked at me.
"What time is it?" He said sleepily.
"A little after ten," I replied.
Dan stood up from the chair, stretched and yawned.
"He's all yours. I hate to go, but I feel like I am going to pass out. I didn't get off work until seven tonight."
"Go home and get some sleep." I told him. "You need it."
I walked over to Dan and hugged him.
"Thank you for everything you have done for me Dan. You have no idea how much you mean to me."
"Don't sweat it dude."
I released Dan. He yawned again and rubbed his eyes.
"Goodnight, if I don't see you before I go to bed." He told me before he left the room.
I walked over to Kevin's bed, bent over and kissed him on his lips. His lips didn't feel as dry as they were earlier. It actually felt like he had Chap Stick on.
"I'm home from work." I sat down in the chair next to his bed and grabbed his hand. "Did you miss me?"
I felt something rubbing against my hand. I looked down at my hand.
"Kevin, can you hear me?"
I briefly saw his index finger move. I about jumped out of my chair when I saw it move. He had heard me. He knew that I was there with him.
I walked out in the hallway and got Brittney. I explained to her what just happened and she came back into the room with me. She checked all of Kevin's vital signs.
"Everything appears to be just fine." She looked at me and smiled. "I tell you what, the rules really say that the nurse and his doctor can limit visitors at our discretion and I know you would love more than anything to stay here with Kevin."
"Can I really stay?" I asked.
She nodded her head.
"The only thing is that you have to sleep in the chair. There really isn't anywhere else for you to sleep."
"I would sleep anywhere." I walked over to the chair and sat down. "Thank you so much."
"No problem." She told me as she left the room.
I grabbed Kevin's hand and looked at him.
"Did you hear that Kevin? I get to stay the night with you tonight."
This would be the first time in over two months that I got to stay the night with Kevin. We may not have been able to cuddle like I would have enjoyed, but we still would be spending the night together. The idea of being able to wake up and see Kevin first thing in the morning, even if he wouldn't be able to see me, sent waves of pleasure over my body.
I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. It was pretty uncomfortable sleeping in a chair that didn't even recline, but at least I got to spend the night with my Kevin.
I woke up the next morning and it was still dark outside. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall and it was almost six in the morning.
I got up and kissed Kevin on his lips.
"I love you."
I started getting kind of antsy. I walked into the hallway where Brittney was talking to another nurse. She stopped her conversation when she saw me.
"Did you sleep well?" She asked.
"I slept as well as I could considering the conditions." I replied "I am going to go downstairs. I um am dying for a cigarette. I am going to turn my cell phone on and will you please call me if Kevin wakes up?"
"Sure." Brittney answered. "I was actually getting ready to take a break of my own if you don't mind if I join you."
Brittney looked at the other nurse.
"Shannon, Ryan's number is written on the board in his room. If anything happens call."
"Will do," Shannon replied.
The more I was around Brittney, the more I liked her. She was easy to talk to and it felt like I knew her forever.
She was twenty-four and had been a nurse for two years. I found out that she had just started working in the ICU on the day that I arrived. I was one of her first patients that she had in ICU. She was very impressed at how my friends came to visit me. She said that my Aunt Faye was there quite often too.
She told me that she wished she could find a boyfriend that was as loyal as Kevin. I told her about our story. I told her about how we finally realized that we both loved the other as more than friends and about how we were torn apart and I hadn't saw him in almost three months until two days ago.
When we went back to the floor, there was still no change in Kevin. I sat down back in the chair next to him and before I knew it I had drifted off to sleep.
I woke back up from a loud coughing noise. I looked around the room, but I was still alone. I heard it again.
"Where am I?"
I smiled as soon as I heard that. I knew that voice anywhere. I had spent so many sleepless nights wondering if I would ever hear that voice again.
I turned and looked at Kevin. He blinked his eyes and looked at me.
I stood up and hugged him. Tears of joy filling my eyes, I kissed him on the lips.
He blinked and looked at me.
"What are you doing?"
What was I doing? I was kissing the love of my life. I had spent nearly three months longing to be able to see him again. I had spent so much time wondering if I would ever be able to kiss those soft pink lips again.
He looked at me again.
"Kevin, I'm here." I told him. "Everything is going to be okay now."
"Why are you here?" He asked me.
My tears of joy suddenly turned to tears of doubt. Was I wrong? Did he not want to see me? His note had said otherwise. Now that he was wake and didn't die was he regretting writing me the letter?
Well here is another chapter. I look forward to your questions and comments email me at email@example.com