Diary Of An Unrequited Love
I sat there looking at Kevin, tears streaming down my face. After reading the letter that he wrote I thought he would be more than happy to see. I had expected him to be overjoyed when he woke up and saw me sitting at his bedside. This was the opposite reaction that I was expecting.
I stood up from my chair; it felt like the Niagra Falls were running out of my eyes. They were so wet that everything was blurry. I could still make out Kevin lying in his bed. He had his head turned and was looking at me.
I had to get out of there. I couldn't do this. I had thought that he still loved me and wanted to be with me. I guess I was wrong.
Kevin cleared his throat.
I turned and looked at him.
"What?" I asked sadly.
"Where are you going?"
"You don't want me here." I sobbed. "You even asked me why was I here."
Kevin moved his tongue around in his mouth trying to wet his throat.
He shook his head.
"No. I didn't mean it that way."
I sat back down in the chair next to his bed and looked over at him.
"What did you mean then?"
"Why would you be here after what I did to you Ryan?" He asked me. "I hurt you so bad."
I reached over and grabbed his hand. He squeezed my hand.
"You did hurt me very badly." I smiled at him. "I forgive you though."
He smiled at me.
I leaned down and kissed him. He weakly kissed me back.
"I've been dying for you to do that again."
"I'm going to go get a nurse or a doctor and let them know that you are awake."
He nodded his head.
I walked out into the hallway. Nurse Simmons was sitting at the desk outside of Kevin's room.
"I have some good news." I announced.
She looked up at me. "And what might that be?"
I smiled the biggest smile that I had smiled in a long time.
"Kevin just woke up."
Nurse Simmons got up and went into the room. She spent what seemed like an eternity to me assessing Kevin. I am sure it was actually only a few minutes in reality.
After she was done looking over Kevin, she explained to me that she would notify the doctor and that he would more than likely want to move him to a regular room soon. This was good news for both of us. I knew for a fact that in some of the regular rooms they would let you sleep in there and they had recliners.
"How you feeling?" I asked Kevin.
"I feel like I have been run over by a big bus." He replied.
There was a knock on the door. It opened and Nurse Simmons came in carrying a large clear mug filled with water. She walked over to the hospital table next to Kevin's bed and sat it down.
"Here drink this and it will help your throat from being so dry." She told him. "If either one of you needs anything feel free to let me or one of the aides know."
"Thank you." He replied hoarsely.
"I have to work late." I told him. "It's a short shift, only five to nine and as soon as I get off work I am going to come back here to be with you."
Kevin picked up the mug of water that Nurse Simmons had brought to him. He took a huge sip of it.
"I'm sorry for hurting you Ryan." He looked up at me with sad filled eyes.
"I know Kev and I forgive you."
I walked over to the chair next to his bed and sat down. I leaned over and kissed him on the lips. He tenderly kissed me back.
I broke the kiss and looked him in the eyes.
"Why did you do it Kevin?" I asked him. "Why did you try to kill yourself?"
He took another drink of his water.
"I couldn't live without you. My mom cut off any source of communication that I could have with you. She sold my truck right from under me, made me quit my job. I had no idea where you had moved to. I thought about taking a taxi to your aunts hose to see if you were there. I just couldn't be without you Ryan. Like I said once before we would be together until the end, I was ready for the end I couldn't take it anymore." He sadly explained to me. "I also figured that you hated me because of the way I treated you."
"I could never hate you Kevin. I could be hurt by you, but I could never hate you." I told him. "Oh and I have been living with Dan. We got an apartment together."
"That is good to hear." He told me.
I glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. It was almost four.
I smiled at him. "I have to leave in forty five minutes to go to work but I promise I will be back soon after I get off."
Kevin took another drink of his water and then looked at me.
"Where is my mom?" He asked.
"I'm sorry." I apologized to him. "She left Thursday after I got here and hasn't been back ever since."
"Oh." He looked out the window. "What day is it now?"
"It's Saturday." I replied.
"I still love you."
"I still love you too. I never stopped." I leaned over and kissed him on the lips.
"I hate my mom for what she did to us." He said coldly. "I don't care if I ever see her again."
I hated her too. I just knew that I should keep my mouth shut. Kevin wasn't really in any condition to hear it.
"What did she say?" He asked. "What was the last thing she said before she left the room?"
I looked at him, not really knowing what to say. I didn't really want to tell him the hurtful things that his mom said; after all he just woke up from a coma. I just knew that if I lied it would cause problems. Lies always cause problem. One lie leads to another lie which leads to another and after awhile, a web of lies has been spun.
"I don't want to hurt you Kevin."
He grabbed my hand squeezed it and looked me in the eyes
"You won't hurt me Ry. I'm a big boy. I can handle the truth." He forced a smile. "Besides she couldn't hurt me anymore than she already has."
I picked up his mug of water and took a drink out of it. My mouth was starting to get dry itself. I was nervous. I didn't know how to be gentle about telling Kevin what his mom said. I just hope he didn't get mad at me for giving her the note.
"Haleigh's mom found you, Haleigh called me during the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. Dan and I rushed over here. I was in your room visiting you and your mom came in, she started yelling saying it was all my fault. I gave her the letter you wrote me. She read it and started yelling she no longer had a son. The last thing she said before she got in the elevator was that she hoped we enjoyed our time in hell together."
Tears streamed down Kevin's cheeks. I knew that he said he hated his mom, which was more than likely true. The idea of his mom saying she no longer had a son and hurt him bad. None wants to hear their parent say those words.
I wiped away some of his tears then kissed him on the forehead.
"It's going to be okay Kevin." I tried to console him. "I'm here for you and will always be."
He looked at me and nodded his head.
I pulled my car into an empty parking spot in the hospital parking lot. Work went by super fast. I actually had something to look forward to when I got off work.
I looked down at the cigarette that I was holding in my hand. I had a little under half of it left and didn't want to toss it out.
I took a puff of it and thought back to the past year...
"You look good Kevin." I told him as I adjusted his bow tie.
"Good enough for you to dance with tonight." He laughed.
I laughed too.
I wished he wasn't joking. I wanted so badly to have the last dance tonight. After all it was our senior prom.
Why did he have to be so good looking?
"Like I would want to dance with a skank like you," I teased.
"You know you want this." He laughed and rubbed his hands all over his body.
The funny thing was that I did want to kiss him. I wanted to see what it was like to kiss him and not be interrupted by my mom coming into my bedroom.
He adjusted my bow tie and looked at me.
"You look mighty cute tonight."
He leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.
That was our second kiss. I smiled then took another puff of my cigarette. This year had definitely had its ups and downs for me.
Kevin and I sat in the living room of his house watching television. We had only been up for a few minutes and neither one of us had bothered to get dressed yet. He only wore a pair of sponge bob boxers and I had on a pair of solid green ones.
"What's the plan for today?" I asked Kevin.
He looked away from the television and shrugged his shoulders.
"Dunno. What do you want to do?
"You wana maybe do something with Mike and Haleigh?" He asked.
Kevin had been doing that a lot here lately. He always wanted us to do something with Haleigh and Mike. When we did he always insisted on paying for my food. It almost felt like he was trying to indiscreetly take me on a date. How many high school senior guys insisted on paying for their best friend's food when they went out with more friends?
"Sure." I told him.
The door open and Eric walked in. He looked at Kevin and I and the way we were dressed.
"Oooo sorry. Did I interrupt you guys' butt fucking?"
That was the moment that I really started to dislike Eric. I took the last puff off my cigarette and put it out in the ash tray.
I got off the elevator and walked into the lobby of the ICU lobby. I had the biggest smile on my face. I had Kevin back. Even though we hadn't become boyfriends again, I knew that it was only a matter of time before it happened.
I opened the double doors that led to the rooms of the ICU patients. I happily walked down the hallway to the second to last door on the left. I had expected to see Brittney sitting at the desk on the outside of the door, but she wasn't there. The computer screen at the desk was turned off.
I knocked on the door, opened it and went inside the room. I looked around and didn't see Kevin. The room looked like it had been cleaned. The bed was made and it looked like no one had been in there for several hours.
I started panicking. I had no idea where Kevin was at.
I walked out in the hallway and looked for Brittney to find her and ask her where Kevin was at. I didn't see her anywhere, but I saw her friend Shannon sitting at one of the desk in the middle of the hallway.
"Do you know where Kevin is at?" I asked her.
She turned around and looked at me.
"He left." She replied.
"What?" I asked.
I couldn't believe it. I thought things were good again with us. I had planned on coming back and staying with him all the night. I just didn't understand what had happened. Did his mom have a change of mind and decide to come back and take him to a different hospital?
"I said that wrong." She corrected herself. "He is still here just in a different room."
"He is?" I asked.
"Yes." She replied. "He was moved to a regular room a few hours after you left."
I was happy about this. That meant he was getting better. I hadn't expected him to be moved to a regular room for a day or so. I figured that he would have to stay in the ICU for at least twenty-fours from the time he woke up.
"What room is he in?" I asked.
She picked up a piece of paper and wrote a number on it. She handed it to me.
"He is on the fourth floor. That is his room number."
I took the elevator up to the fourth floor. It was like a maze up there. I walked around for a good ten minutes before I found the hallway that I was supposed to be on. I spent another couple minutes trying to find Kevin's room number. I finally found it, room number 4120. The door was open half way.
I knocked on the door and the pushed it open the rest of the way. Kevin was sitting in his bed watching television. Dan was sitting in a chair next to his bed, Mike was sitting down in a chair on the other side of the bed and Haleigh was sitting at the edge of his bed next to Mike. I closed the door, walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge of it.
"Welcome to my humble abode." He laughed and looked at me. "You smell like cigarette smoke."
"Thanks for having me." I gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I guess I kind of picked up a bad habit."
"We will talk about that some other time." He told me. "I'm just glad you are here."
Haleigh stood up from the bed.
"Mike and I are going to head out." She looked at Mike. "I think the three of you need talk."
Mike stood up and looked at Kevin.
"Hope to see you out of this hospital soon." He looked at Dan and me. "See ya guys later."
"Bye." I told him.
"So Kevin and I were talking earlier." Dan got up from his chair and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. "I did get his forgiveness about how much I hated him for what he did to you."
"You're my bud." Kevin told him.
"Well we were talking and Kevin doesn't have anywhere to go whenever he gets from the hospital. He has no job to get a place." He looked at me. "So I was kind of thinking that when he gets out he can come and live with us and we can help him out until he gets a job and all. Does it sound like something that you would want to do?"
"Of course," I was excited. "You don't even have to ask me that silly."
Kevin grinned. Wow. I had thought I wasn't ever going to get to see that cheesy grin again. I leaned over and kissed him.
"Okay, you two get a room." Dan teased.
"How was work?" Kevin asked me.
"Good." I replied. "How was the move?"
"Fast and easy."
Dan laughed when Kevin said that.
"What is it?" Kevin asked him.
"Fast and easy," he laughed. "Sounds like you are describing Ryan in bed."
"What do you mean?" Kevin looked at Dan and me. "Is there something I should know about? Is there something going on between you two?"
"Um no, I actually have a girlfriend now. Her name is Miranda. I was talking about you and Ryan having sex."
"Okay." Kevin laughed. "I thought that my two best friends were together now."
"I strictly like the vag." Dan laughed.
"We are still both virgins anyhow." Kevin looked at me. "At least I still am."
I couldn't believe he was insinuating that I had had sex while we were broke up. Sure I had kissed Chandler thinking that he was Kevin. I had kissed Aiden, but I had never had sex with anyone.
I was a little hurt.
"Of course I am Kevin. Do you think you are that easy to get over?" I asked.
He shrugged his shoulders. Dan could sense the tension and tried to change the subject.
"I just figured after catching the two of you in the shower that you had done it yet." He commented.
We both shook our heads.
Kevin sighed and then grabbed my hand. He looked me in my eyes and smiled.
"You have the most awesome eyes, so sexy and green." He commented. "I love you Ryan and want you to be my boyfriend again. My mom or anyone else is going to get in the way this time." He paused. "Please say yes.
My facial expression grew serious. I was going to play with him for a minute. Of course I wanted to be his boyfriend again. I wanted this more than anything.
"Let me think about it for a moment." I paused then smiled at him. "I thought about it and the answer is yes."
I kissed him. He rubbed his tongue against my lips. I parted them and let him enter. I closed my eyes and enjoyed my little make out session with Kevin.
When we stopped kissing, I opened my eyes and he was looking right at me with the biggest smile on his face.
"Get a room." Dan laughed.
"I love you Ryan."
"I love you too Kevin."
I grabbed him and gave him the tightest hug.
I traded shifts with Chandler so I could be off work Tuesday afternoon. My two classes at college seemed to fly bye. I was so excited that I could hardly pay attention during either one of them.
I had found out Monday evening that Kevin was going to be released from the hospital. I was glad when I found out that he was going to get to come straight home. One of the nurses had mentioned that he might have to spend some time in a psychiatric hospital to make sure that he was no longer a threat for himself.
A case worker form the psych hospital had come Monday after noon and did an assessment of Kevin. The two of us nervously awaited for her to determine what was going to happen. Was he going to get to go home with Dan and I or was he going to have to spend some time in a psych hospital.
Both of us knew that Kevin wouldn't try to hurt himself again. The only reason that he did it in the first place was that he was so depressed at home and felt like there was nothing else to live for.
We were relieved when she came back in the room and told us that she didn't think he was a treat to himself. She felt like he had a strong support system with Dan and me. She said that the circumstances that caused Kevin to try to kill himself were no longer a problem.
Kevin was overjoyed.
"You ready to go?" I asked Kevin as soon as I walked into his room.
He no longer had on the hospital gown he had to wear. The only good thing I liked about that thing was when he stood up I could see his naked butt.
He was wearing a red t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Both the shirt and the jeans were too big on him. Kristen had never brought any clothes to the hospital for Kevin. She hadn't stepped foot in the hospital since I showed her the letter Kevin wrote and she said she no longer had a son. He didn't really want to go to her house to get any of his clothes. He couldn't fit my clothes because all of them were too small for him. Dan was bigger than both Kevin and I so he lent Kevin some of his clothes which were a little big on him.
"I am." He had a folded in his right hand. "I can't wait to sleep in a bed that isn't a hospital bed and to have some real food."
"How about we have a triple date tonight?" I suggested. "You and me, Dan and Miranda and Mike and Haleigh then tomorrow night after I get off work, it's just you and I."
I grabbed me and pulled me into a big hug. He planted a big kiss on my lips.
"It sounds perfect."
I led Kevin up the stairs to his new home. I turned around and looked at him. He appeared to be nervous. He never got nervous.
"Here we are." I stuck my key in the door and unlocked it. "You excited?"
He nodded his head.
I opened the front door of the apartment and led Kevin in. I showed him around. Not there was a whole lot to show, the only thing you didn't see when you first walked in was the bathroom and the two bedrooms.
I saved the bedroom for last. I wanted to show him where he had been sleeping. I wanted him to see the room that I made for him in my closet and my dresser for his clothes.
"So what do you think?" I walked over to the bed and sat down.
He looked in the closet once again.
"I love it." He walked over to the bed and sat next to be. "I can't wait until tonight when I get to share this bed with you. Cuddle you fill your warm body against mine."
"I have some extra money and I am going to take you clothes shopping later on." I told him.
"You don't have to do that."
"But I want to." I told him. "I love you and that's what people do when they love each other."
He leaned over and kissed me. He inserted his tongue in my mouth. I inserted mine in his. My body heat was starting to rise as was Kevin's.
I broke the kiss and looked at him.
"I never thought I would have the chance to be able to kiss you like this again."
He kissed me the broke the kiss. "You," he kissed me again. "Can," he kissed me again. "Kiss," he kissed me again. "Me anytime," he kissed me again.
His tongue slid into my mouth. I was overwhelmed from the sensation of kissing Kevin.
He carefully pushed me onto my back and lied on top of me. He stared at me for the longest time. It was like he couldn't get enough of me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his face right next to mine. His breath was tickling my nose. I kissed him softly.
I never wanted this moment to end.
I stuck my tongue in his mouth. I rubbed it against his. It was like we were trying to bond and become one. I wanted nothing more that to become one with Kevin.
I slid my hand under his shirt and started massaging his back. The elicited small moans from Kevin's mouth. My tongue was being tickled by each one of his moans.
I broke the kiss and looked tenderly at him. He smiled at me.
I grabbed his shirt by the bottom and pulled it up as far as I could. He raised his arms for me and I pulled it the rest of the way over his head.
I flipped Kevin over onto his back. I stared at his perfectly sculpted chest. I don't think I could ever get enough of his sexy body.
He looked me in the eyes.
"I want you to make love to me Ryan. I want to feel you inside me."
I nodded my head. I wanted him too. I had wanted this to happen since junior year in high school. Now it was about to happen.
I glanced around the bedroom for something to use for lube. I saw a bottle of lotion sitting on my computer desk. I hopped off the bad and ran over to the desk and picked up the bottle of lotion. I jumped back down to the bed.
"If it hurts I will stop and you can do me."
"It won't hurt because it is you and I know you won't hurt me."
He looked up at me and smiled.
I rolled over and laid my head on Kevin's bare chest. It was cold in the room so I pulled the sheet over us.
"That was amazing." I told him. "You have no idea how long I have been waiting for that to happen."
He kissed me.
"That was the best feeling ever." He laughed. "I am going to be walking like I had something shoved up my ass."
"I didn't hurt you at all did I?" I was so scared that I had hurt Kevin.
"No. It hurt at first but after awhile it just felt amazing. It was like we were one."
I laughed at him.
"What is it?"
"That just sounded so gay. We were one."
"Well," he took a deep breath. "I am gay and I have the most amazing man ever."
He gave me a quick peck on my cheek.
That was the first time I had heard that. I had admitted to myself that I was gay some time ago. This was the first time that Kevin had ever said he was gay. Sure he had let Mike, Haleigh and Dan all know that we were boyfriends, but never before had he ever said it.
I tossed the sheet off us.
"You want to go onto the balcony with me for a minute?"
I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts. I put them on not bothering with underwear then picked a t-shirt up from the top of the dresser and put it on.
"Sure." Kevin replied.
He picked up his underwear from the floor and put them on. He pulled his pants on. He pulled the t-shirt on after that.
I picked my pants up from the floor where I had thrown them earlier and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I led Kevin out onto the balcony.
"This is a nice view up here." He commented as he looked over the edge.
"Yeah it is." I put a cigarette in my mouth and lit it. "It's pretty peaceful out here also. I like to just come out here and think."
He looked at me; I could tell he was kind of disappointed about something. He shook his head.
"I wish you wouldn't do that."
"Do what?" I asked as I took a puff from my cigarette.
"Smoke Ryan, it's bad for you and I don't want anything to happen to you."
I knew he was right. A few months ago I would have been saying the same thing. It was harder to quit than I imagined. I thought I could just throw the pack down and be done with it.
"I know." I said as I blew smoke out of my mouth.
He walked over to me and kissed me.
"Will you please try to stop?" He gave me a sad little puppy face. "For me, I don't want you to die."
I nodded my head.
"I'll try just for you. It's just so hard and it relieves so much stress that I have had over the past few months."
"Thank you." He kissed me on the cheek.
"We should probably go shower before we leave to go eat." I suggested. "It's not a good idea to go out to eat dinner and smell like sex."
He nodded his head.
We decided to change things up a little bit when we went to eat. We had always eaten at the Country Inn, but wanted to eat somewhere a little more upscale. Dan and Miranda were both big supporters of eating at Ruby Tuesday's in Fayetteville which is where we decided on eating.
Mike, Haleigh, Kevin and I all drove my car. There was no sense in taking two cars when we were all going to the same place. Dan and Miranda were driving up together because she had to work.
The four of us were sitting at a table when Dan and Miranda came in. We had saved them two chairs on the end of the table.
When Miranda sat down she looked at me then looked at Kevin. She shook her head.
"You sure do get around fast."
I knew that Aiden was her best friend. I had just stopped talking to him after he kissed me. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want a relationship. I was still in love with Kevin. I guess he really liked me. I just couldn't like him the same way he liked me.
"Miranda please don't do this here." Dan looked at her with a pleading look on his face.
"You really hurt Aiden you know. He liked you a lot." She said ignoring Dan. "He was torn up over you.
Kevin looked at me. His face was turning red.
I never told him about Aiden. I didn't think that it was that big of a deal. We never became boyfriends, just an occasional date here and there then he kissed me and I couldn't deal with it.
"Who is Aiden?" Kevin he stood up and glared at me. "You told me you hadn't been with anyone."
A few of the other dining guest were staring at Kevin.
"I didn't." I pleaded.
I grabbed his arm. He jerked it away from me. He ran out of the restaurant.
"That was low!" I shouted at Miranda.
I raced outside to find Kevin. I walked around the parking lot until I saw him sitting in the passenger seat crying. I guess he still had his key to my car.
I unlocked the driver's side, got in and sat down.
He looked over at me. I his cheeks were wet from crying.
"You never told me about Aiden."
There was nothing but cold emotion in his voice. I just got him back. I couldn't lose him again.
"I didn't tell you because I didn't think it was that big of a deal." I turned and looked at him. "He is Miranda's best friend. I didn't think I was going to ever get to see you again so I tried dating him. We dated a couple of times and then he kissed me. It made me realize how much I still love you Kevin. I stopped talking to Aiden which made Miranda upset." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I love you Kevin and don't ever want to be with anyone else."
He sat there for a moment and processed what I just said. He turned and looked at me.
"I know." He told me. "It's my fault anyhow. If I would have just stood up to my mom and have been a man then none of this would have happened." He squeezed my hand back. "I am sorry I got upset over it. I just love you so much and the thought of you dating someone else hurt me."
"I know. I guess I should tell you one more thing then."
"What is it?"
"That first Friday night I went to a party after we went bowling and I got really drunk and I thought my friend Chandler was you and I kissed him."
Kevin looked at me. Shook his head and then laughed. He laughed and wasn't mad that was good. I just didn't know why he laughed.
"That makes me feel good you even thought about me when you were drunk."
I touched the side of his face then leaned over and kissed him.
"I love you so much Kevin. I am sorry about the whole Aiden thing."
"It's fine. I shouldn't have gotten upset about it anyhow."
Kevin and I went back inside and joined the others. Miranda apologized to both Kevin and me. The rest of the diner went by without any more drama. I was thankful for that.
Kevin spent the next few days adjusting to living on his own. He applied at several places, but never got any calls back from any of them. He even got so desperate that he thought about going back to Caughman's to see if he could get his job back there.
When I got home from school on Thursday, that is when I told Kevin what I had done. He was pretty excited.
"I know you want a job so I did something that hopefully you would like." He was sitting on the couch watching television.
He muted the television and looked at me.
"And what might that be Mr. Wilson."
"I think I got you a job." I replied.
"Really?" His voice was filled with excitement.
"I called Jennifer earlier today. I don't know if you have met her before or not, she is the store manager at The Bargain basket. Anyhow I talked to her and Kyle remembered you and put in a good word for you and you have an interview tomorrow at ten in the morning." I waited for his response.
"That's awesome." He exclaimed. "You have no idea how boring it gets here during the day. I can't go anywhere because I don't have a car. I can't call anyone because I don't have a phone, so this is pretty exciting for me."
Kevin spent the rest of the night talking about how awesome it would be to see me at work. I was pretty excited about it too. I was pretty sure that I could have it arranged so that we could possibly work the same shifts and carpool to work.
The next morning I had just gotten out of my first class when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. The Bargain Basket flashed across the screen. I had no idea why anyone was calling me from work. They had my schedule and knew that I was in class.
I pressed answer on the phone and put it up to my ear.
"Hey Ryan," Kevin said in the most cheerful voice.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Well, I couldn't wait until you got home, so they let me use the phone here. I got the job and start tomorrow night." He explained.
We talked for a little longer until I had to get off the phone and go to class. I was pretty excited for him myself. He got a job. He was going to be making more than minimum wage. The best part was that I was going to get to see him at work.
"This is the break room." I told Kevin as I led him to the break room at work.
We both were working 3-11 Saturday night. The best thing about that is that I was the one that was getting to train him.
We walked over to an empty table in the break room and sat down at it. He looked around the break room, studying his surroundings. There was just one other person in there with us. It was a girl that worked at the customer service department. I hadn't ever talked to her, she was pretty antisocial.
"What do you think so far?" I asked him.
"I think I am going to like it." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.
"What's that?" I asked him.
He handed it to me.
"My work schedule."
I looked his schedule over. It was for next week. Sunday always started the new work week at The Bargain Basket. His schedule was written in Kyle's handwriting. I could tell his handwriting anywhere. Kyle was really the only assistant manager that I really talked to. His official title was the front end manager. There were three other assistant managers. David who was the first operations manager and was over hard lines a, Cindy who was the second operations manager and was over hard lines b, and Keith who was over grocery.
I pulled my schedule out that I had written down earlier and compared the two.
Sat 11-7 (38 ½ hours)
I noticed that only had two days off and I had three. He had full time hours also. I guess since he wasn't in school like I was he would be working full time.
I handed him his schedule back and put mine back in my pocket.
"Looks like we are going to be working a lot of the same days." I stated.
"Yes indeed." He said while looking at me. "Thank you for getting me this job."
"You are welcome."
"Am I interrupting anything?" I heard from behind.
I turned around and saw Chandler standing behind me.
I shook my head. "No, we were just comparing our schedules. You can sit down if you want."
He pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. I looked at him.
"Chandler this is Kevin." I then looked at Kevin. "Kev, this is Chandler."
"Nice to meet ya," Kevin shook Kevin's hand.
Chandler's expression grew really big. He looked from me to Kevin then back to me.
"Is this The Kevin?" He asked.
I nodded my head.
"The one and only," I answered.
"I've heard a lot about you Kevin. I hope you are doing better." Chandler told Kevin.
Kevin reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "I am thanks to my awesome boyfriend here." He pulled his hand away and covered his mouth like he had something wrong.
"It's okay Kevin. He knows about us." I explained. "He is Seth's boyfriend."
"Good. I just thought I had messed up. I don't know who knows about us around here and who doesn't." He looked me in the eyes. "I just want you to know that I don't care who knows about us. You are someone that I want to show off to everyone."
The three of us talked for the rest of our lunch. I was also proud of Kevin, he was finally starting to be himself outside of the privacy of home.
The next week went by pretty smoothly for us. We had made love every night. Kevin loved it when I made love to him. I was having the time of my life living with my boyfriend and my best friend. I was having the time of my life that is until a Thursday after noon at six.
I scanned the last item on my register belt, put it in the sack and hit total.
"That's going to be forty-two ninety-five." I told the lady in from of me who's items I had just rang up.
She reached into her wallet and pulled out three twenty dollar bills and handed them to me. I typed in the amount she gave me and my drawer popped open. I handed her seventeen dollars and five cents in change.
"Have a good day now." I told her.
"You too dear." She said as she picked up her bags.
I grabbed a pair of socks off my belt and scanned them.
"Did you find everything-," I paused as soon as I saw who it was.
Kristen was standing in my line. She had a cart full of household items. She had towels, underwear, socks, a few small appliances that we sold. I really didn't want her coming through my line. Not after the way she treated me. There were ten other registers six of which were open. Why would she come through my line?
I picked up the phone at my register and pressed the page button. "Kyle to register five please."
"You can't come through my line." I told her harshly.
It was true in certain ways. If someone was harassing me I didn't have to check them out it was a company policy. She was definitely there to harass me. Even if she wasn't I still wasn't supposed to check her out because she was my boyfriend's mom.
She just looked at me. Something seemed different about her. I just couldn't tell what it was.
"Yes Ryan." Kyle was out of breath when he made it to my register.
"It's Kevin's mom. She is here to cause trouble."
He looked at Kevin's mom.
He may have been young, he was only twenty two, but he was pretty mature and knew how to handle situations like this one.
"Is there a problem here ma'am?"
"No." Kristen replied. "I messed up big time." She started crying. "I made the worst mistake of my life."
Kyle flipped my light off. I had one other guy in my line, but I guess he realized it would be faster to go to the next register.
"How did you make a mistake?" I asked her. "Throwing me out and telling me you wished I had died or disowning your son."
"All of it." She said sobbing loudly. "I just want to see him again so I can tell him how sorry I am."
I thought about it. There was part of me that wanted to say no, but the part of me that had lost my family knew different. I knew what it was like to lose a mother. I know Kevin was trying to be strong about his mom walking out of his life.
Even if I didn't say anything about it, he would know. He was working and was cashiering on the opposite end of the store. It seemed as if she was sincere about wanting to apologize.
"Fine," I told her coldly. "When we take a break you can."
"He works here?"
I nodded my head.
Kyle looked at his watch. "It's a little early but how about you and Kevin take ya'll's breaks and get this sorted out. If Tammy says anything to you tell her you have my direct permission."
I nodded my head.
Tammy was one of the front end key holders. She was a little full of herself most of the time and thought she had to order everyone around. I knew that she didn't like Kyle because he was younger than her. I also heard through the grapevine that she was on her final write up and would be fired after the next.
I pulled Kevin off his register. Tammy came over to the register when she saw us walking away and wanted to know what was going on. I told her that there was a family emergency and Kyle told us that we could go take our break. She told us she didn't care what he said she was in charge up front and we needed to wait for her to tell us.
I filed this away for late so I could tell Kyle about it. No one liked her. She was rude.
Kevin, Kristen and I all walked outside and sat down on a bench in front of the store.
"What do you want mom?" Kevin snapped at her.
"I want to say I am sorry." She cried. "I was wrong. You are my son and I would rather have a gay son than not have you at all. I have thought long and hard about this."
"Do you really mean that?" Kevin asked.
She nodded her head.
"I love Ryan mom. I'm gay and there is nothing you can do or say that will change that. It's who I am and I have accepted it."
"I know Kevin." She looked at me. "I am sorry for the way I treated you Ryan."
I just nodded my head, not really accepting her apology. I wasn't sure how I felt about the situation.
"I bought you some things for your apartment." She told me.
"We don't want them." Kevin told her. "You can't just say you disown me and then come waltzing back in my life trying to buy us stuff and think it will make it better."
She reached into her purse and pulled out a tissue. She dabbed her eyes with it.
"I know that."
"We can talk and see how that goes." He said as he looked at her. "I do love you still mom I just hate your ways. The first time you say anything negative about Ryan or me, I will cut off all contact with you and that will be the final straw."
"Okay." She said as she sniffled from crying.
She stood up and hugged Kevin. She then hugged me.
"I am so sorry."
Kevin just nodded his head and left it at that.
The next day at work it was all over the store that Tammy had gotten fired. Kyle had asked her about what she said to Kevin and I went on break and she went off on him. Everyone said she could be heard through the office wall next to the break room. That was her final write up so she was fired on the spot. They had to threaten to call the cops on her to get her to leave.
I was pretty shocked when Kyle approached me and asked me to accept the position. I mean sure I had been working there for over a year which was longer than most of the cashiers, but a position like that and I didn't even have to apply for it.
I told him that I wasn't sure if I could handle it with school. He told me that he would work around my school schedule just as he had before. I graciously accepted the position and would be starting on Sunday since it started a new work week. The position came with a dollar raise. I would be making nine dollars and ten cents an hour.
Kyle would be the one that would train me. The only downside to it was that Kevin would no longer get to be a cashier. Apparently there was a rule against it; you couldn't date your supervisor. He was moved to the electronics department. He was pretty thrilled about getting to work there.
After sometime deciding on it, Kevin decided that he wanted to go back to school. He was set on becoming a nurse. He said after all the time he had spent at the hospital this year he wanted to help people. He would go back to school in January when the spring semester started. He would be a semester behind me. He didn't get any credits for the brief time he went in the fall semester so he had to start over.
The one thing that I have learned is that no matter what happens you can always come out feeling on top if you let yourself. I started the year on top of the world. I had my first kiss right at midnight it just so happened to be with the guy I crushed on. I thought that the year would be good for me.
Then my cousin got a warrant out for his arrest and hid out at my aunts. My mom did the right thing by turning him in. When he got sent to prison my aunt was mad. She came over with the intent to murder my whole family. She killed my parents and my two little brothers.
I thought my world was going to end. Then Kevin confessed his love to me. I thought I would be happy again. We both were until his mom found out. My happiness was once again gone.
I almost lost Kevin when he tried to kill himself. He made it through it and our love was even stronger. He no longer doubted himself or tried to hid who he was.
I had to be strong for the both of us at a time. What doesn't kill us just makes us stronger is suppose...
Well I have enjoyed your emails about my story. Looks like Ryan and Kevin finally got their happy ending. I look forward to emails about the final chapter of my story. Thanks a lot for reading. Please send any questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org