Date: Wed, 22 Jul 2015 11:37:22 +0100 From: Sam Bam Subject: Angsty Alexander - Alexander in the open chapter 11 Alexander in the open 11 Please donate to nifty. I'd never have started this if they didn't exist http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html I'm in a good mood on Friday. I can't believe the 2 weeks I've had, a great night with a total athletic stud and a three day fling with a cutie. I've exorcized Jay and Peter and I'm feeling great. I'm looking forward to moving home over the weekend. I head into my afternoon lab still in a very sunny mood. I forget myself entirely and kiss Peter hello. He laughs and gives me a quick hug. We get through our set work quickly and use the rest of the time to work on our semester project. I'm happy we are still working together and that he isn't being a bitch about it. "Can we go somewhere and talk after this?" Peter asks. "Sure. Want to get dinner somewhere?" I say. "How about your place." Peter says. "Not very neutral ground." I say. "We need privacy and we can't do it at home as Jay would be annoyed." Peter says. "Okay. I'm moving home again this weekend. You can help me. Does my room look good?" I ask. "I'd love to help and your room looks really cool. It doesn't feel like our room any more. I put the furniture back for you and opened the windows every day." Peter says. "You're taking care of me." I say. "Yeah I am." Peter says and squeezes my hand. We drive to my temporary home and I show Peter round. We sit at the small table. "I know I missed my chance to listen to you before. I know I should have heard you when you told me you were unhappy and I'm really sorry. You don't owe me another chance, I get that. Don't worry I won't pressurize you tonight. I need to understand what went wrong. I thought opening up to Jay would be good for you, I thought I would be less jealous about the bit of your love you hadn't given me. Where did it go wrong baby?" Peter asks. "Are you and Jay still together?" I ask. "Yeah, I don't know if it will work though." Peter says. "It won't, he's not into you at all." I say. "Has he said something?" Peter asks. "No but I've figured it all out and I'm certain I know what happened." I say. "So tell me." Peter pleads. "When Jay and I were together the first time he was always testing me, and I was always failing. He would say we're not a couple when he really meant, I want Alexander to tell the world we're a couple. He has a real knight in shining armour thing. When I declared how much you meant to me at the talk the other week I was basically fulfilling his fantasy, except I did it to you and not him and that is why he lost it." I say. "He really did lose it, he wasn't sick he threw a total tantrum." Peter says looking embarrassed. "Nice that you lied to me again." I say rolling my eyes. "Sorry." Peter says. "Anyway, he has told me he was in the trio for me and not for you. But even after that he continued to choose you in bed and barely spent any time with me. He was testing me again, playing games, he wanted me to burst in on you guys and pull you off him and take him for myself. But it backfired because I didn't get jealous of him choosing you, I was jealous of you choosing him." I say. "Oh baby. I was only ever with him to make you happy." Peter says. "The thing is Peter that isn't true. You brought Jay in because you thought it was a good way to pressure me into exploring your kinks with you. You thought I owed you and that doing scenes with you was reasonable payback. If you'd run your plan by me it would have been one thing but you didn't, you sprang it on me and made me feel even worse, even more inadequate." I say. "You shouldn't feel inadequate it was great, really great. You left me satisfied for over a week. Jay was climbing the walls." Peter says. "And what did you do about that?" I ask curious and jealous. "By Wednesday his complaining got too much so I blew him." Peter says laughing. "Wednesday, so 5 days? 5 days without and you felt you owed him?" I ask really, really mad now. "Yeah. I am his boyfriend." Peter says confused. "And what was I?" I say. "What do you mean?" Peter asks. "Was I not your boyfriend too?" I ask. "Of course you were." Peter says still confused. "But Jay is a lot more important to you? You find him sexier?" I ask. "No, of course not. Stop playing games what the fuck are you on about?" Peter snaps. "5 days and you help Jay out. But you leave me 5 weeks like it's nothing. Tell me I'm unattractive when I complain. Expect me to service the two of you but never reciprocate." I shout through my tears. Peter just stares at me. "That is why I ended it. Not Jays game playing, not your demands. I did not want to be in a chaste relationship. I want to be loved and show my love physically, that is a deal breaker for me. But you two didn't care at all. Too wrapped up in each other to notice, turned on by my begging and frustration. You both tell me it's me you love, yet neither of you kissed me below the neck nor touched me below the waist the whole relationship." I say coldly, finding my calm, finally getting the message across. "That isn't true. That can't be true." Peter says quietly. "It is true. I was begging you all the time, telling you how much I missed you and you'd always just turn and be with Jay, rubbing it in my face, breaking my heart every day." I say quietly, trying to keep a handle on things. "I don't understand how that happened. I thought you and Jay were having sex. I was giving you space to do that." Peter says. "Jay and I did nothing. I told you over and over I wanted it to be just us again but you always blew me off." I say. "I never believed you. I was so wrapped up in the idea that Jay would make you happier. I couldn't see just how upset you were not until near the end. I thought things were getting better after I got sick. What can I do to make it better? Can we make up for lost time? I love you so much and I will do anything to make you happy. Anything. I need to make this right. Please Alexander, please let me show you how much I love you. Let me worship you all night. Please." Peter says standing behind me rubbing my shoulders. I'm trying so hard to stay strong. I love him. I ache for him. Will one night hurt? I stand up and turn into his arms. We hold each other. "I'm so sorry baby. I knew I was getting it wrong. I knew I was losing you. I knew I wasn't hearing you. I just couldn't work out how to stop it happening. I just, fuck, I don't know." Peter says tearfully. "Can we take a break? This is too much, I don't know, I wasn't expecting you to be like this. Let's go and have dinner. I'm hungry. I need to get out of here. I need air." I say. "Okay. Let me wash up. Baby, I'm a fucking bastard. A blind, deaf shithead." Peter says and heads for the bathroom. I quickly wash my face in the kitchen and change into a clean shirt. Peter drives, he still has car keys. I think I'll always think of this as our car, maybe I should trade it in. I love it though. "If you're out of work after graduation you can become my chauffeur." I joke. "I already am. I've hated seeing you driving in to school without me." Peter says. He drives us to a pretty fancy seafood place, he is trying to make me happy. "Wow, this is a nice place." I say. "I always planned to bring you here for your birthday or an anniversary or something." Peter says. "You made romantic plans?" I ask. Peter smiles and hops out to open my door. He takes my hand and leads me in. I let him, it's nice and I'm curious to see where things go. "We have to have oysters." Peter says. "You believe they are an aphrodisiac and want to get me horny?" I ask. "No, I heard they are good here." Peter says grinning like crazy and blushing a little. "Let's go all out and have the seafood tower, the one with lobster." I say. "For you anything. Do you want anything else?" Peter asks. "Do they have a bread basket or something?" I ask. "No bread. We can ask, or just get fries." Peter says. "Fries are good. It is Friday." I say. "I love it when you're decisive about food. After your issues I get so excited when you say you're hungry." Peter says. "You took great care of me but that doesn't buy you a pass forever. You've had so much forgiveness already." I say. "I know. I wasn't trying to guilt you. I was just saying what I felt. I want you to know when you're making me happy. I don't want you to ever feel you're not good enough." Peter says. "It's really busy. How did we get a table?" I ask. "I booked when in the bathroom. I shamelessly namedropped you." Peter says grinning. "I can't believe I'm worth a Friday night table. Especially as we can't drink." I say. "Just run with it. It's not like you do it often." Peter says. "I'm not complaining. I'm glad you did it. This place is nice." I say. The waitress takes our order. "Does your boyfriend know we're on a fancy date?" I ask. "No. Let's not talk about Jay. It feels wrong." Peter says. "How come he didn't go with you to your parents?" I ask. "It was last minute thing. He had homework and I didn't want him to meet them like that. I haven't told them that we broke up yet." Peter says. "How did it go? Is your Dad okay with you now?" I ask. "I went to dinner at Aarons'. It was excruciating. I stupidly mentioned about Robbie and Dan moving out and Dad latched on to the idea Aaron could move in. My Mom was shaking, she doesn't want me living anywhere near him. I said you already had someone to save myself a hundred rounds of no, why not." Peter says. "I'm proud of you." I say. "Thanks. My Mom finally let Dad have it after dinner at home, saying what misery Aaron had caused her and how much nicer I was without him. Anyway Aaron's Dad is insisting on the dorms so he can limit the money Aaron needs. And my Dad has finally apologized to me and Mom, my allowance is restored, not that I need it. We're all good again. I'll never know what got into him." Peter says. "That is a relief. I hope you Mom is okay, sounds like she's been having a hard time. I'll call her this weekend." I say. "Thanks, she'd really like that." Peter says. Our food arrives and it's awesome, tasty and fresh. I stuff myself stupid. Peter is a lot more cautious. "Are you not hungry?" I ask. "Not really. I like watching you though." Peter says. I'm about to ask Peter whats up when Paul walks in with a very pretty girl on his arm. I give him a smile and he waves. "Who is that?" Peter asks. "Paul who I was tutoring." I say. "He's hot." Peter says. "You should see him naked." I say without thinking. "You fucked a straight guy?" Peter asks. "He's Bi, and he's single. Or he was last week." I say. "You didn't waste time." Peter says. "Fuck off. It's not any of your business who I'm with." I say grumpily. Paul pops over as his date heads to the bathroom. I stand up and we kiss on the cheek. "I guess this is why I've not heard from you." Paul says indicating Peter. "We're just having a post breakup chat. It's not a date, unlike you." I say. "Yeah second date. She's hot but not to interesting. We should hook up this week sometime. Call me." Paul said and heads back to his table. I sit down grinning. "Sorry. That was a bit insensitive." I say but I don't mean it. "I am delusional if I think you won't have hook-ups now you're single. I just thought you had trust issues." Peter says. "I got over it. If shit happens it happens. If I lose my career, so what. I'll start a new one." I say. "Wow. I love the new you." Peter says. "Love isn't the issue with you." I say. "I know. I'm sorry. I want to spoil you. I want to do everything you want. You are everything to me. I mean it this time. I will do anything to get you back." Peter says. "Peter. I love you, very much but no. I'm done, I'm moving on. I'm sorry, maybe you feel lead on tonight but honestly you should be concentrating on the relationship you have." I say. I can't look at him. I ask for the bill. "Shall I drop you home? Or at school to get your bike?" I ask. "Can we not talk some more? Please." Peter says. "What is left to say? You want to get back together. I don't." I say. "Please baby. Just a little while longer. Give me one more go." Peter says. I nod. We don't talk on the way back, it isn't uncomfortable, I think we're both gathering strength. "Do you want a drink? I only have champagne, not appropriate but nice." I say. "You love bubbles." Peter says. "Yeah. Did you see the spa tub?" I ask. "You never use the one at home." Peter says. "Maybe I will now. Though I'm always avoiding someone on the middle floor, first Eric now you and Jay. Are you in your original room or have you swapped with Brian?" I ask. "I'm in my room. Let's have champagne and use the tub." Peter says pushing his luck. "You think bubbles will help you talk?" I ask. "I just want to see you naked." Peter grins. "We should get a hot tub." I say "I originally planned to but then changed my mind as it seemed hassle keeping the chemicals right." "I'd love it." Peter says and pulls me into a hug. I know we'll end up in bed tonight. I'm just not going to make it easy for him. I hate game playing post-Jay but Peter has to work for this. "Come on you're better at popping corks than me. Get me my bubbles." I say cheekily. Peter jumps to it. He's relaxed now, himself. I love it and he knows it, I see him smiling to himself. We sit at the table drinking. "Are you going to stick with Jay if you don't win me back?" I ask. "I don't know. If you are right and he's not into me then I doubt I'll have much choice." Peter says. "So you're not going to end it?" I ask. "Maybe. I've not thought about it properly yet, I've been trying to just cope day to day without you. Its easier with him than alone." Peter says. "Really? You seemed to have it together in class last week." I say. "Oh come on. I couldn't talk to you other than a squeaked hello. I practically sat in your lap to try and get a reaction from you." Peter says looking embarrassed. "So what else do you want to tell me?" I ask taking a big drink. Peter refills my glass. "If I hadn't got sick and we'd had the date we wanted that Friday would we still be together?" Peter asks. "Not if you'd gone straight back to ignoring me, but I might have given it an extra week." I say. "When did you decide to end it?" Peter asks. "Two weeks in I just gave up. We'd been fighting, you'd stood me up, I told myself I'd give it 3 weeks until our weekend alone but really that was only to keep my promise to you. I was happy you were letting me in to your world fully. But I knew that I couldn't stay in the trio." I explain. "If I had said yes to going back to just us when you asked during that time would you have?" Peter asks. "Yes. I was desperate for you to agree. After you told me how much you hated my whining I tried to hold back, I hid my feelings as much as I could but whenever I couldn't hold them in and I begged to go back to us I just needed you to say yes. Even in that last weekend, when I already had this place booked I'd have done it. That last time I asked, hurt so much when you dismissed me." I say feeling shit, reliving the painful moments. "So it's all my fault?" Peter asks sadly. "No it was all of us. None of us thought it through. I was the only one to bring up rules and we never worked them out fully. If we had Jay wouldn't have had so much control. If you'd listened to me. If I'd communicated better. If Jay hadn't been playing games. Maybe it would have worked. Ultimately you were the only one who wanted it to work and even then it wasn't because you actually wanted to be in the relationship." I say. "I get it. And now? It's too late for me to pick you?" Peter asks. "Yeah. I'm mentally ahead of you on this breakup. I've had a lot of time to process it. I don't like who I became and some of that is your fault. You both treated me really badly and I'm not letting you off from that." I say. "You're not Jay. You're not a grand gesture kind of guy. I'm going to have to be smarter right? Win back your trust. Treat you like you deserve and you might consider me again?" Peter asks. "That sounds amazing but you shouldn't waste your time. Anyway don't you think you deserve someone who fully completes you? Someone who loves and supports you and shares your kinks? Don't you think finding that person would be the best thing for you?" I ask. "That won't happen." Peter says. "Why not? I deserve someone who loves me for me, who accepts my career, who enjoys the same kind of sex. I'm hopeful. We're 19 we have a lifetime to look. There's no rush to settle down." I say. "I loved being settled with you. I never thought I'd be able to manage long distance but it was easy for you. I fucked up with Jay but you trusted me enough to forgive me. Can we really not come back from this? We have been through so much, are you really throwing it all away?" Peter asks, so seriously. "Yes. I didn't like me the last few weeks and I didn't like you either. Since the end of last semester we've been struggling. I don't want to struggle anymore." I say. "Okay. But we are friends. We're going to stay the best of friends." Peter says. "I would really, really like that." I say and move round to give him a hug and kiss. "Looks like we have about a glass each left. Let's go drink it in the spa, a friendly bath." Peter says. "Okay." I say. "Really? Shit I was just pushing my luck." Peter says. "Buttons pushed." I say. We share a long deep kiss. "Last time we were friends there were lots of benefits." Peter says. I kiss him and grin. I set the tub running, Peter follows me into the bathroom and starts to strip off. I do the same. "Nice underwear." I say. "Thanks, my ex got them for me. Left several new pairs in my drawer as a surprise. I really, really like them." Peter says and hugs me close, running his hands over my ass which is covered in the same silky boxer briefs. "They look really good on you too. And feel so soft. I have another pair that got ruined. I use them as a cumrag." Peter says continually rubbing my ass and then cock through the soft fabric. "That feels really nice." I say pushing my hands down the back of his. "You like my ass?" Peter asks. "You know it." I say and pull his undies down letting his cock bounce free. I turn and take mine off bending over provocatively. "I love your ass." Peter says and growls at me. We get into the tub together and set the jets off full force. I've enjoyed having the tub to myself for the 2 weeks but know sharing will be way better. We sit opposite each other and enjoy the feel of the water and the massage effect. Our cocks are both stiff and being bounced around by the water. Peter extends his toes to rub my balls, I smile and take a drink. We don't talk, just occasionally touch each other and stare taking in each other's bodies. Our glasses are quickly empty. I'm a little buzzed and full of lust. "Come over here." I say. Peter shuffles round next to me, I put my legs across his lap and he leans in to kiss me. "Are you sure." I say. "Fuck baby don't question this. Just enjoy." Peter says gently as he covers my face in kisses. He pulls me properly onto his lap, the water bubbling around us and we're lost in each other's lips. His hand moves between my legs and he fondles my balls, running them between his fingers. I can't help but groan. "That good baby?" Peter says and I moan in appreciation. I'm playing with Peter's chest pinching his nipples and getting reacquainted with every curve. Suddenly he grabs my arms and puts them round his neck and lifts me up out the water. "Put me down. You cannot climb out holding me." I say. But he does, his long legs are very useful. He carries me through to the bed and drops me on it, kissing me swiftly before heading back to switch off the tub and grab towels. "My bed is soaked." I say. "It was going to get all sweaty anyway." Peter says throwing a towel at me. We dry off and he pushes me back on the bed. We just can't stop kissing. We take it in turns being on top. I love it when he settles his full weight on me, his cock pressing hard against me. He lifts himself up and starts to grind against me, cock on cock. "You like this baby?" Peter breathes sexily. "You know I love it." I moan. I reach for some lube and Peter spreads it around. He keeps grinding away, kissing me, telling me he loves me. It is perfect. Just what I need from him. I wrap my legs around him and pull him close. "I'm close baby." Peter whispers. "Me too." I say. We roll onto our sides face to face and Peter jerks us together until we can't hold on. We stop kissing to watch our loads shoot. It is so hot. "I love you so much baby." Peter says. "Good." I say kissing his cheek. I grab one of the wet towels to clean us off. "That was like when we first added benefits." I say. "I know. I loved that day, you were so forward and sexy. When you sat on your bed and watched me stroke, getting hard, then you joined me in bed it was amazing." Peter says. "You can't drive you've had too much to drink. Shall I call you a cab?" I ask. "Throwing me out already?" Peter asks, laughing he's not offended. "You've a boyfriend at home. He's probably worried. Or loving the drama. Both probably." I say. "Don't be mean. I messaged him I'd be late. Tomorrow is late. I'm staying. You want me to stay, that's why you offered me a drink." Peter says and we snuggle. "I do want you to stay." I say. "You must have been lonely in this bed alone for 2 weeks." Peter says. "Who said I was alone?" I say. "Did Paul stay? I thought that was just a hookup." Peter says. "No Paul hasn't been here, I uh had a rebound fling for a few days." I say. "Wow. I'm surprised." Peter says. "Why? I usually hookup when I'm single. You know that. I've just had a horrid dry patch while in a relationship no need to go without now I'm single." I say. "You're really not worried about people selling stories?" Peter asks. "I just don't care anymore. Fed up of being so fucking cautious. I just want to live." I say. "That sounds good baby." Peter says. We kiss and kiss and kiss. In the morning I wake to my cock in Peter's mouth. I ruffle his hair. "Give me your ass." I say. He looks up and me, oh it is so hot when he does that, then shakes his head and carries on. I am not going to complain. He owes me. I continue to rub my chest and his hair and enjoy every sensation he is giving me. "You are being a very nice to me. Fuck that's good." I moan. He sucks on my balls in turn and I float off into another world. I hold his head and buck into his throat for a moment then set him free to finish the job. He takes my load then wriggles up to kiss me. I stroke his hard dick and he's soon spilling all over me. "What a mess." I say and giggle. "Shower time." Peter says and pulls me out of bed. He's so affectionate and loving in the shower, washing me and kissing me. If only he'd given me this attention a few weeks ago. "We have to hurry, I need to check out by 11." I say when we're drying off. "Okay, you look to be packed." Peter says. "Yeah mostly." I reply. We sort things out and load up the car quickly. Peter drives again. "I'm not telling Jay I was out all night. I'm telling him I was in late and slept on the sofa and left early to help you. I'm not asking you to lie for me I'm just telling you my story." Peter says. "So you're not ending it then?" I ask. "Not like this. I need to think properly." Peter says. I'm a little jealous and a little relieved. As long as Peter stays with Jay there is no pressure for us to redefine anything. I don't want to be his bit on the side but the occasional good time is good with me. I think I can cope with it. Especially if I make sure I'm seeing other guys too. Peter helps me unpack and we have one last big kiss. "I really enjoyed last night. Thank-you for a great time. Can't believe we had our best ever date after we broke up." I say. "I had a great time too. You were great company. Really great." Peter says kissing my cheek and heading back to his boyfriend. Thanks for reading. Please send any feedback to the email above or via mansambam.tumblr.com