Date: Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:15:29 +1000 From: Clinton D Subject: Aussies Dream Chapter 2 This story is fiction. Any similarities with people living or dead is purely coincidence; meaning that this is not an autobiographical story. Please navigate away from this page if it is against the law in your country to view this material. Moreover do not read if you are under the age of majority in your country, state or province. Please do not copy without permission. Hey everyone! So here is chapter 2. So after chapter 1 I was overwhelmed with the amount of positive comments and feedback I received. It was clear that you wanted me to continue so here is what has resulted. I would like to thank everyone for the comments and feedback. A few of you asked to get to know Ben a little better, and naturally you would have, but this chapter does include a lot more detail about the main character. I felt a fair amount of pressure to make this chapter as good as the first so hopefully I haven't disappointed any of you. Again please feel free to send comments and feedback to clintjnd@gmail.com. I don't want to continue if I am doing a bad job. Anyway on with the story. ---------------------------------------------------- Aussies Dream - Chapter 2 ---------------------------------------------------- So last night was my first night in my new apartment. Don't you hate the feeling of waking up and freaking out because you don't know where you are? Well that was me this morning. I woke up with a fright and it took me a minute to realise where I was and that I was safe. After my heart slowed to a usual pace, I lied back down and let my mind wonder. Of course the first thing it went to was the events of yesterday when I met Adam and Kelly. Now I know what you are thinking, I have the hots for Adam; that I am head over heels in love. Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Sure he's charming and drop dead gorgeous, I can't deny that, but I just don't see him in that light. I guess it's because he reminds me too much of an old friend. His name was Toby. Toby was my best friend all through high school. We did everything together. I spent so much time at his house that I swear his mum could have adopted me. I guess I spent so much time at his house so I could get away from my younger brother. Why may you ask? Well let's just put it this way. He was a younger brother, and what do you younger brothers do? Annoy the crap out of you and never leave you alone. So because I could never get away from him at home when I had friends around, I just stayed away. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't hate my brother, he just knew how to annoy me, always pushing the right buttons, and well don't all little brothers. I thought it was easier for me to just stay clear that way we avoided any confrontation. Wasn't I a thoughtful son to my parents? I am already missing the fact that I no longer have a brother that is there for me, you never know until it's too late. Although we weren't that close, we had begun to bond more over the last couple years and I could see one day being close and there for each other. But now I know that is never going to be. Sigh. Anyway back to Toby. We did everything together, so much he could read me like a book. There was no keeping a secret from him, well except one. Surprisingly enough he never picked up on my biggest secret, being gay and in love with him. I guess I developed the ability to put on the straight front really well. Yes I was a classic "I'm in love with my best friend" scenario. And of course it was Toby who made me realize I was gay, why would it be anyone else? It was at my 14th birthday and Toby was sleeping over. While Toby was taking a shower I accidently walked in on him and there he was standing butt naked facing me. I could not get that image out of my mind, and well it served me well for many nights, if you know what I mean. From that night I started to notice and check out guys more and more, but Toby was always number 1, and eventually came to the realization that I was gay. Nothing ever happened between me and Toby. I knew I never had a chance; he always seemed to have a girl, if he didn't have one draped on his arm he was definitely on the prowl. One of the things I grew to hate about hanging out with him was his constant talk about chicks and who he was getting some from that night. Obviously it's not a gay's favourite topic of conversation. So you may be asking yourself, am I still in love with him? Well the answer is no. When I was about 17 I kind of just turned the love off. It was becoming too dangerous. Sooner or later he would find out and well I didn't want to risk it. I guess I valued his friendship too much. I didn't want anything to jeopardise our friendship. You may also be asking yourself. Why am I talking about my friendship with Toby in past tense? Well that is because we are no longer friends. I haven't spoken to Toby in about 4 years. Why you ask? Let's just say Toby ruined any chance of a friendship, well and truly. Towards the end of grade 12, senior year, we had a falling out; some silly disagreement. As a result Toby told pretty much everyone any little secret he knew about me, both real and made up. He didn't give a shit about how it would affect me. I won't divulge what those secrets were, but they were enough to turn any friend I had against me. I know what you are saying, why didn't I just tell everyone they weren't true. Well Toby was the ring leader, and being my best friend at the time, if he was saying it then it must be true. I guess I can just count myself lucky he didn't know my deepest secret; that I was gay. I don't know if I would have been able to live if that secret came out. Growing up in a small town made life difficult from then on. There was no getting away from it, so once school was over I was out of there. Toby and I continued to act casual towards each other whenever either of our parents saw us together. At least we both knew enough to not hurt our parents, since both loved each of us as much as they loved their own son. But since high school ended I haven't seen or heard from him, or many of my once friends for that fact. So I hope you can begin to understand why I have such low self-confidence and why I don't trust anyone. I don't dare share anything with anyone that has the potential to hurt me in any shape or form. That lack of trust also extended to my parents. I loved my parents, we never had an issue, but I wasn't what you would call close with them. I just shared what I needed to with them and kept the rest bottled up inside. I know that it isn't healthy to keep it bottled up inside, but who do I now have to share it with. No one, that's who, no one since Toby has earned the right for me to share anything with them. Maybe some time in the future there will be someone who will earn my trust; someone who I will be able to unload onto. But right now I have no one. Maybe it will be a lover if I ever find one. Oh how I would give anything to know what it feels like to be in love, truly in love. To know what it feels like to be held in someone's arm, to feel safe, and to know what it feels like to hold someone and make them feel safe. To know what it is like to look deeply into someone's eyes and melt inside, to be kissed, or to be kissed with such passion that it gives you butterflies in your stomach. To hear the words, I love you. Sigh, tear. ---------------------------------------------------- I was snapped out of my daze to the sound of my phone going off. Who could possibly be calling me at 7 in the morning, on a Sunday? I rolled onto my side and grabbed my phone and looked at the screen. I nearly dropped it cold when I saw who it was. Adam. What on earth could he want so early on a Sunday morning? I didn't know whether I should answer it or not. I was nervous and my heart began to pound. I know what you are thinking. Why am I nervous? I just finished telling you I didn't see Adam that way, that I only saw him as a possible friend. Well I am nervous because he reminds me of Toby. The way he was at the bar, it was like he could read me the way Toby could and that scares me. I don't want him reading me and being able to find out all my deepest secrets, bringing out all that I have bottled up inside. I know I was saying I wish I could share everything with someone. But I'm just not ready, and plus I have only just met him. I don't know what he is like; I've only spoken to him over 1 drink. It takes time to trust someone doesn't it? So that is why I am nervous to be around him, especially alone. Back to reality, my phone is still ringing in my hand. Should I or shouldn't I answer it? After much deliberation I decide to answer. Ben – "Hello" Adam – "Hey Ben, its Adam" Ben – "Oh hey man, how's it going?" Adam – "Not too bad, yourself? Catch up on that sleep?" Ben – "haha yeah, and I'm good." Adam – "Listen I don't mean to disturb you so early, especially since its Sunday, but I don't have any plans set for today and I don't really want to be around the house while my parents are doing Reno work. Might get dragged in to helping if you know what I mean. " Ben – "haha sure do. Umm, I don't have any plans as such, just planned on hanging around at my apartment, lazing about." Adam – "Well I don't want to be interrupting your alone time plans haha" Ben – "Oh wouldn't you; it would be quite the show, ten dollar admission fee" Adam – "hmmm...a little pricy, not too sure you'd be worth it" Ben – "oh I'd be worth it." We both had a laugh. "No but seriously, ah, if you wanted to come over and hang you could" Adam – "You wouldn't mind?" Ben – "Not at all, come over whenever you like" Okay what am I saying. A minute ago I was saying I didn't want to be around Adam and now I am inviting him over. What the? I'm not even thinking about what I am saying. It's just freely flowing without any thought. Adam – "How about I see you in an hour?" Ben – "Okay" Adam – "Ah, where about's do you live?" Ben – "Oh yeah that would help wouldn't it haha". After explaining where my apartment building was and what floor my apartment was on we said our goodbyes and ended the phone call. ---------------------------------------------------- After getting off the phone to Adam I flopped onto my back staring at the ceiling. What the hell is going on? At first I was nervous not wanting to answer the phone or even see Adam and the next I am chatting away like I have known him forever and inviting him over. What am I going to do? What if I am stuck with him the whole day? Who knows what I am going to blurt out if our phone conversation was anything to go by. I better think about what I am saying before I say it. Okay since he is coming over I better get presentable. So I stripped off and headed for the shower. The bathroom consisted of a toilet, sink and mirror, a shower, along with a washer and dryer. The shower had glass which was only see-through on the top half. The bottom half was made to look like the glass had been steamed up. Hmm, I guess that is so you can share the bathroom without others seeing anything haha. Before I got in the shower I had a look in the mirror to see whether I should have a shave or not. I also stopped to check myself out a little, who doesn't? I was quite pleased with how my body was looking. Over the past few months, with working out and all I had managed to lose some weight and firm up a fair bit. I had a fairly slim build and have started to develop some good definition. I am happy with how it looks. I don't want to be overly ripped, not a major fan of extremely ripped guys. I prefer someone slim who has good definition like me. Yes I guess Adam fits that description. I then turned my attention to my hair. I have brown hair and I usually like to keep it short. No not a crew cut, and definitely not past the ears. Once the ends start to curl out its time to get it cut, and well it was that time. I've also got one of those lovely cowlicks at the front. I have my wonderful father to thank for that one haha. He had one in the exact same spot. I can't do anything with it, can't even cut it out, it just grows back. I then reached my eyes. I really liked my eyes. They are hazel, the same as my mums. They are also a gateway to sadness. I suddenly realised that the mirror was starting to fog up so I thought I better jump into the shower and stop wasting water. I really enjoy having hot showers in the morning. It wakes you up, loosens the muscles, relieves any tension and sets you in a good mood for the day. After finishing my shower I dried off, wrapped the towel around my waste and wondered out into the kitchen to put some bread in the toaster for breakfast. So to give you a quick overview of the rest of the apartment, as you walk in the door you see the kitchen with a counter running the whole way round. The kitchen has all the necessities: fridge, oven, microwave, dishwasher and even a coffee machine. Looking out of the kitchen there is a round dining table and beyond that is an open lounge room. There is a large flat screen with surround sound mounted on the wall and there is a 3 seater and 2 single recliners. On the opposite wall to the TV are three doors leading to the two bedrooms and the bathroom. Also on this wall is a desk where my laptop is setup. Both of the bedrooms consist of a king size bed, 2 bed side cupboards, a set of draws and a big built in wardrobe. Back out in the living area, and probably the part I love the most, when you are looking from the kitchen across the lounge area the fourth wall is all glass leading out to a balcony. The view through the glass and out on the balcony is beautiful overlooking the city. After staring out over the city while eating breakfast I look at my watch and realise Adam will be here in 15 minutes. I chuck the dishes in the dishwasher and head to the bedroom to get dressed. I open my wardrobe and start filtering through my clothes. I decide upon a comfortable pair of jeans and one of my black gym shirts. Now all freshened up I decide to put some music on. I turned my laptop on and connected up my speakers and set my iTunes to start playing on random. Now is probably a good time to tell you that I am a music freak. I simply love music, can't get enough. I like almost all sorts of music, I'm not however a fan of country, classical or heavy metal. Other than that I'll listen to it. I guess I prefer though something that is upbeat and has an awesome beat that you can dance and sing along to. Now of course I would never do either of those in public in front of any one, way too shy and self-conscious. But while in private I go nuts. I have always found music to be a calming influence. Helps me forget whatever is on my mind and just get lost in the music. So the first song started up which was a song called "Love Like This". I immediately started singing along while I browsed my emails and Facebook page. "I wasn't looking for the answer You whisper my name, my hearts beating faster A thousand butterflies and I still can't believe it A love like this, never had a love like this I can't fight this feeling anymore Like a shockwave through me, never been like this before And it's your kiss, pure bliss, better than the fantasy And a love like this, never had a love like this" ---------------------------------------------------- I was suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door. Oh crap he's here. Okay Ben relax, it's all going to be fine. If he asks any personal questions just avoid them like you usually do. Put up the wall and put on the brave face. After composing myself I went and opened the door. Adam – "Was that you singing?" Ben – He heard me, kill me now. "Ah no" Adam – "Oh that's too bad. Whoever it was is really good" Ben – "Really?" Adam – "Aha got ya. So it was you." Ben – "Well you are the first and last to hear it. Come on in." Adam – "Oh come on you need to finish the song" Ben – "I don't think so" Adam – "For me, please" he said while putting on puppy dogs eyes which made him look so damn cute. Ben – "Nope not going to happen" Adam – "But the song is still going, I promise I won't ask again or tell anyone" he said while trying to hide a cheeky grin. Ben – so I walked over and stopped the song. "There it's no longer playing" Adam – "Humph" he grunted mockingly Ben – "So, would you like a drink or something to eat?" Adam – "Nah I'm good. So what did you have planned?" Ben – "Well I was thinking of setting up my Nintendo Wii. Want to help?" Adam – "Sure, I love these consoles. Oh and Ben, thanks for letting me come over" Ben – "No problem" After hooking the Wii up to the TV we settled on playing bowling on the Wii Sports. Adam – "So Ben, you said yesterday that you were single right?" Ok here come the questions. I decided I better keep the answers short and turn the attention back onto him. Ben – "Yep, what about you?" Adam – "Yep, single and loving it. So you have anyone on the radar" Ben – "No, no one at the moment" Adam – "So you have been out with someone before?" Ben – "I'm going to go get a drink" Okay I am not going to answer that one. I can't let him know I haven't had a single relationship, and I am not about to lie, they are too hard to correct. Adam – "So where about's were you from before moving here?" Ben – "I was living in a small town up north, called Emerald, with my cousin while studying full time. What about you, you been in the city long?" Adam – "Yeah I have lived here all my life." Ben – "With your parents?" Adam – "Yeah haha, yes I am still living at home. I'm actually thinking of looking at moving out. Just need to get out if you know what I mean" I just nodded "You sharing this apartment with anyone?" he asked while looking at the two bedrooms over his shoulder. Ben – "Nope, it's all mine" I hope he doesn't start getting any ideas. I need my own space right now. Adam – "Cool. How you afford this place by yourself?" Ben – "My dad owns it." Okay so I used a little white lie there, I technically own the apartment but I definitely can't tell him that. Adam – "Awesome, free living. Speaking of family, you have any siblings" Oh any questions but the family questions. I don't think I can handle them without losing it, and I don't want Adam asking to many questions. Ben – "I'd rather not talk about my family" I said while avoiding looking at him and focusing hard on the game even though it wasn't my turn. Adam respected my request and changed the subject. Adam – "So Uni starts back in a week's time. You excited?" Ben – "haha that's a joke right. Excited about cracking open yet another textbook" Adam – "haha yeah I know what you mean. You must be getting excited though; you have light at the end of the tunnel with only 4 courses left. You doing them all this term?" Ben – "Yeah I guess I am getting excited that I will be finished soon" although secretly it pains me as my parents won't be there to see me graduate. "And yes I am doing them all this term" Adam – "Awesome" Ben – "What?" Adam was looking at me with a smirk on his face. Adam – "So that means I am going to get to see you in your pretty gown haha" Ben – "Says who" Adam – "Says me. Oh I am going to be there" Ben – I just laughed. "Maybe" At that moment Adam's phone started to go off. Finally, I thought, a break from the questions. We had been playing the Wii for the last couple of hours and in between game play there had been non-stop questions and small talk. It is only natural for people to ask questions about each other to get to know each other, but being the private, conservative person I am, I'd rather avoid all the personal questions. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving spending time with Adam instead of being alone. He's great company and easy to get along with. I'm just uncomfortable with all the questions and scared eventually I am going to slip up. And before you start thinking it, no I am not falling for him, but he is definitely best friend potential. Adam – "Hey Kel!" he said answering his phone. "I'm actually around at Ben's hanging out" "haha No" "Hang on I'll ask" "Hey Ben, do you think Kel and one of her friends could come over as well?" Ben – "Umm..." okay maybe if there is more people here the focus will shift from me and it won't hurt for me to get to know someone else. It's probably another chick, who knows it might keep Adam preoccupied. "yeah sure, tell them to come over" Adam – "You there Kel? He said its fine" After giving Kelly instructions on how to get here he hung up and turned his attention back to me. "I think you will like Kel's friend. Shall we finish our game?" After finishing our game we decided to just watch some TV while we waited for Kelly and her friend to arrive. We settled on watching a top 50 countdown on the Max music channel on Austar. I learnt that Adam didn't mind his music either, with him commenting regularly on artists and their songs. About half an hour passed before Kelly and her friend arrived. After hearing a knock at the door I got up to go answer the door. Opening the door there was Kelly. She really was a beautiful girl and had an awesome upbeat personality. Brings a smile to your face straight away. "Hey Kel" I said while being hugged and kissed on the cheek by Kelly. "Hey Ben, so good to see you again" she said while moving into the apartment and standing beside me. Once she had moved inside I could see her friend and I wasn't expecting what I saw. I was utterly gob smacked. I think my heart skipped a beat as I stared and I swear my mouth was probably hanging open. "Ben, this is my friend..." ---------------------------------------------------- Thanks for reading the second chapter of my first story. I'm sorry for stopping the chapter there but I needed to stop typing and I figured now was a good a time as any to stop. Again If you have any comments, feedback or criticisms please email me. I'll look forward to your emails. One last thing I would like to say is the song that Ben was singing in this chapter is a song by an Australian artist called Natalie Bassingthwaighte whose song is called "Love Like This". I recommend looking this song up on you tube as she is supporting a good cause with this song. She is supporting the 85 new same-sex law reforms in Australia. If you want me to email you the link just let me know.