Date: Mon, 22 Mar 2010 20:43:20 +1000 From: Clinton D Subject: Aussies Dream Chapter 4 This story is fiction. Any similarities with people living or dead is purely coincidence; meaning that this is not an autobiographical story. Please navigate away from this page if it is against the law in your country to view this material. Moreover do not read if you are under the age of majority in your country, state or province. Please do not copy without permission. Hey everyone! So here is chapter 4. Sorry it has taken a little longer to get this one out, but I have to use the lame excuse that life has been busy. Unfortunately I think future chapters are also going to take this long or longer. A big thank-you needs to go to my editor, you know who you are! You're awesome ;)! Again please feel free to send comments and feedback to clintjnd@gmail.com. ---------------------------------------------------- Aussies Dream - Chapter 4 ---------------------------------------------------- "So I want to ask you some questions, and I would like you to answer them." Gulp. I remained silent and just stared at the floor waiting for Adam to start asking. Maybe he wasn't going to ask what I was dreading. "Why don't you talk much about your family and where you're from?" enquired Adam while staring at me. I could feel his eyes on me even while I was staring at the floor. I remained silent for a few seconds pondering what I should say. What I could say and not give away anything. "There isn't much to say." I finally answered. "There you go again. Not giving anything away. Is your family and past really that horrible?" I remained silent. "Look, Ben, the reason I am asking is because I want to get to know you. Both Kelly and I do, We think you're a great person and would like to hang around you more often." At this point I shifted my gaze from the floor to look at Adam, who was smiling. "How about we strike a deal, I will tell you something a little personal, if in return you promise to open up a little." I silently pondered his proposal. Okay maybe I can trust Adam a little, he seems like he genuinely cares. Maybe I can tell him the truth somewhat, maybe not the full truth but just a little to test the waters of our friendships. After a lot of mental deliberation I nodded my agreement. "Okay, well about 12 months ago one of Kelly and my friends was involved in a fatal accident in which he and his family were killed. His name was Chris. He, Kelly and I were pretty much inseparable; we were like the 3 amigos. We did everything together, we had no secrets, and we just got along so well. Sure Kelly and I have other friends, but no one as close as he was. We found it really hard not having Chris around anymore, we just felt lost not having the third member." At this moment Adam had taken a minute to take a deep breath and compose himself. I meanwhile was sitting listening and not really registering that he was telling me something so personal. I was a little shocked with how open he was being. I just wasn't expecting this. "Then we met you. The day we hung out at the bar we had such a great time, if felt like we were ourselves again. Kelly and I talked after that about spending more time with you and seeing if we couldn't get you to make our group complete again. That's why we have been so forthcoming, and why you shouldn't be afraid to be honest with us. We share all of our secrets with each other, and want you to be a part of that too." It took me a moment to process what I had just been told. Was I hearing it right? They want to be friends with me, good friends at that. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have that again. "I... I seriously don't know what to say. I can't believe two people would so openly want to be friends with me so soon." "Why is that so hard to believe? You're great." "Well there has been a few things that has ruined my previous friendships, and I have found it hard to find any decent ones since then." "Well you have two willing participants now haha" "Haha yeah I think I am going to take you up on that offer. But you need to know that my trust with people isn't earned easily. It takes me time to be able to open up with people, mainly because of what has happened in my past. So you will have to give me time. I hope you understand." "I understand completely. The only person who has earned my complete trust is Kelly and well I seem to naturally trust you too. I mean I don't talk about what happened to Chris and his family openly with people." "Well that makes me feel special." I said with a smile. "Haha well it should. Can I ask you one question though? You don't have to answer it if you don't want to." "Sure go ahead." "What is up with you and your family? Do you not get along with them?" I took a deep breath and decided that I would give him a little insight. Not the truth, I can't bring myself to tell him the truth. Not right now. Maybe down the track when my trust develops. I know it seems funny that I don't tell people that I have lost my parents, but it is because I don't want people's sympathy. I don't want everyone fussing and thinking "Oh poor Ben"; I just don't want to live my life that way. I have always been independent and don't want people thinking they need to help me out because they think I'm not going to be able to cope. Well I have coped just fine so far haven't I? Yes I can be stubborn, but that is something I have gotten from my mum. "No we don't really get along. We have never been that close. I never shared anything with them. Pretty much as soon as school was over I wanted to get away and well now I am quite a distance away from them. Over the last couple of years with me being out of home we became quite distant and just started seeing each other less and less." "Oh I'm sorry." "It's alright. I don't need sympathy. I've got new friends to keep my mind off of it now." I said and a grin spread across my face. It felt good to say that. "Damn straight." Okay so I didn't tell him the complete truth but I didn't lie either. I wasn't really that close to my family. I didn't really share anything with them and I had become a little distant with them. So I wasn't lying to Adam. "On a different note, do you think you will ever rent out that second room?" Adam asked while nodding towards the spare room. "Yeah I think at some stage I will want to rent it out to someone; give me some company in this place." "Ok cool." Now when Adam said this it looked like he wanted to ask something but wasn't game. "Is there something you want to ask?" "Huh...umm yes but I don't know if I should." "Come on now Adam, just ask already." Adam remained silent, so I decided to take a chance in guessing what he wanted to know. "Adam, do you want to know if you can move in here?" At this he looked up at me with a expression of shock with my guessing what was on his mind. "Why the surprised face? I'm not a complete dumbass when it comes to reading what people want." "I'm sorry." Apologised Adam. "Sorry for what?" "For not just asking." "Oh...So do you want to move in here?" "Are you serious?" Adam asked with a surprised look on his face. "I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't. The room is yours if you want it." "Oh my god Ben, that's unreal. Thank you so much!" Adam now had the biggest smile I'd seen plastered on his face. One of the things I was really growing to like about Adam was that smile, it was so infectious you just couldn't help but smile with him. "No worries man, it will be good to have someone else around, especially a friend that I am comfortable with. May I ask about the reason why you want to move out of your parents house?" "I am basically over living with them. Need my own freedom. I'm sure you can relate to that." I just nodded in agreement. "And well they have actually decided to leave town, and if I want to stay here I need to find a place to live. That is why they have been doing renovations." "Well in that case you are definitely staying here. You can't leave. Not now." "Awesome thanks Ben." "Hey it's what friends are for. You can move in whenever you want." Okay I know the other day I was saying that I didn't want Adam to even think about moving in, but a few things have changed. I now believe that Adam isn't out to hurt me. He is a friend I have been longing to find and I can't push that away now. I'm also feeling that I will need his support in the not too distant future. So I think I am making the right decision to have Adam as a roommate. "Ben you have made my day, I can't wait to tell Kelly and my parents. Oh and I have one more question. There are others but I will leave those until you are ready to talk about your past." "Yes and what would that be." "Well for the past few years on the 1st weekend back at uni Kelly and I have thrown a party with our friends. It has become kind of like a tradition. Now we usually held it at Chris's house but this year that isn't an option, so we were wondering if..." "If you could have it here?" "Umm yeah....that is what we were discussing the other day in the bedroom." "I knew you weren't on the phone." Well at least my concerns have been temporarily put at rest. They were only deciding if they should see if they could have their party at my apartment. Well at least I hope that is all they were discussing. "haha was it that obvious?" "Well it would have helped if you had your phone out haha. Umm yeah sure you can have the party here. " "Ok. You are seriously the best. I need to tell Kelly the good news." With that news Adam thanked me again for letting him move in and that he would catch me later in the week to organise the party and when he will move in. A party sounded real good right now. Give me a chance to meet some of their other friends and hopefully I will get to see Isaac again. Oh Isaac, why am I so taken with this guy. I have only seen him a couple times and I can't get him out of my head. ---------------------------------------------------- So the next couple of days went by without much of a hitch. I had started to get used to what my weekly routine is going to be for the next 12 or so weeks, with Lecture's and Tutorials in the mornings and work most afternoons. I have somehow managed to get all my lectures in the mornings; so if I don't have work I have the afternoon free. One such day was Thursday. I had just finished my morning lecture and now had the afternoon free. I met Kelly at a quite cafe so that we could go over plans for the party on Friday night. I hadn't actually seen Kelly since Monday but Adam told me that she was excited that I'm hosting the party at my apartment. I think Adam understated her excitement a little bit, when she walked into the cafe she was ecstatic. She almost bowled me clean off the chair I was sitting on when she came in and hugged me. "Oh my god Ben, I'm so excited, thank you so much for letting us have the party at yours" she said while tightly hugging me. "My pleasure....uh...Kelly I can't breathe" I replied feigning chocking but struggling to breathe. Man for a small built girl she can really grip you tight. I guess I am not that big either but still. "Oops I'm sorry. Are you okay?" "Yeah I'm fine haha." "Good cause we got some planning to do." So we ordered some food and set about planning the party. After a good hour we had everything organised including notifying all their friends and giving them directions. It was decided that Adam and Kelly would go shopping for food tomorrow and bring it around mid afternoon so we could get it organised. I pretty much had to just be there and make sure my stereo was connected to my laptop, since I apparently had all the music they would want under the sun. What can I say I am a music lover. "So Kelly, Adam was telling me the other day about the 3 Amigos" "Mmmm" was all she replied while downing her third chocolate thick shake. Yes this girl could down some food, and yet there was nothing of her. "So why me? Why am I the one?" "Well the three of us used to do everything together, and well it hasn't been the same since Chris hasn't been with us. We kind of need that third stabilising leg in our friendship circle. You just remind us so much of him and we really enjoy hanging with you, so...." "Well I feel honoured you guys want that person to be me, and well if I don't work out you can just turf me haha." "Haha we sure will haha. So have you found anyone who has taken your fancy yet? Sorry but I just have to know these things, you will learn we have no secrets in our circle." She said with fake serious look on her face. "Ah no not really." "Well I know you are lying, I can see it in your eyes, but I won't push you to tell me, you will in your own time. You should know better than to lie about these things to a girl, gosh, and especially to me" Kelly said with a grin on her face. "Thanks for understanding Kel, and I promise when I am ready to tell people you will be the first. Can I ask a question?" "Sure go ahead, but you don't have to ask, we are amigos now." "Ok. Well I have asked this before, but you and Adam are definitely not together, you're like you say, just real good friends." "Nah, we are just friends, but we have used each other as boyfriend, girlfriend cover, when people have tried to get with us and we didn't want to. I guess I have a second hot guy I can use as cover now." At this comment I couldn't help but blush. "Haha and a cute one when they blush. But no we aren't together, Adam is actually interested in a friend of mine which you will meet tomorrow night." "Oh ok, and what about you. Any lucky man on the horizon?" "Nope, I am single and think I am going to stay that way for a while, unless Mr. Perfect rears his beautiful head. It is just too hard to satisfy guys, takes too much out of a girl." "Isn't it usually the other way around." I said before we both broke out in laughter. I decided to ask Kelly about Isaac and see what I could learn without giving any of my feelings away. "So how come Isaac isn't your third amigo? You guy's seem pretty close." "Yeah he is awesome, such a sweet guy. We have been friends since he moved here and is really good company, but Adam and I just don't have that same connection as we have got with you. He just doesn't exactly fit the puzzle so to speak." "Ah ok. Yeah he does seem like a great guy and is tons of fun to be around. Well from what I have seen with hanging out a couple of times. I am really shocked though that he hasn't got a girlfriend or at least some swooning around him." "Yeah it is a little surprising. He does have girls chasing after him, a couple guys have even tried their luck haha, but he doesn't seem interested. I don't think he has ever been with anyone since he moved here. Well not that I have known of." Well that piece of news didn't go past my ears unnoticed. My ears twitched at the statement that even guys had had a crack at Isaac. That doesn't prove that he is straight, bi or gay but it does sort of make me feel at ease, that Kelly seems okay with gays. Perhaps I am going to be able to come out to them after all. "Perhaps he is just waiting for the one." I answered casually. "Yeah perhaps, well whoever it is, is going to be one lucky devil. I mean even you have to admit he is quite the site." "Yeah..." I said while half glazing over for a second, picturing Isaac. Luckily Kelly didn't seem to notice. "...he ain't to bad." "Anyway I hate to run off, but I promised my mum I would help her with a cake she was making, so I better go." "Yeah no worries, I guess I will see you when you arrive with Adam tomorrow." "Sure will." She said while giving me a hug goodbye. With that we went our separate ways. Tomorrow night should be a good night. I'm looking forward to it. Both to having a drink and the fact I will be able to see Isaac again. ---------------------------------------------------- It was finally Friday and it was almost time for guests to start arriving. Adam and Kelly had been around most of the afternoon helping to prepare food and making sure we had enough alcohol to sink a ship. I swear the kitchen counter looked like we had raided the bottle shop of everything they had. Adam had worked his magic on some toxic concoction, which was residing in a big bowl on the end of the kitchen bench, while Kelly madly baked anything and everything, but god it smelled good. I had gamely helped myself to a cup of whatever Adam had made. I was his test guinea pig as he called it. Surprisingly it tasted alright; I didn't really care. I just needed something to take the edge off; nerves had started to kick in at the thought I would be seeing Isaac again. Seriously, why is this guy driving me so crazy? Adam had also brought some of his stuff around when he and Kelly came over. We had decided that the two of them would crash at my place tonight, and well it was kind of looking like Adam was planning on moving in for good from tonight. I was actually becoming exciting at the prospect that I now have a roommate, and that roommate actually being my best friend. Not some jerk that I would dread coming home to my own place and seeing. So the time came when guests started to arrive. All up there would be around a dozen people. The first hour went by really fast. I spent the time roaming around getting to know most of Adam and Kelly's friends. They were all really nice and easy to get along with, but I could tell why they hadn't found a replacement for Chris amongst them. Yes they were friendly but none of them I could see were people you could entrust your deepest secrets with. I still had my personal doubts about Adam and Kelly but they were rapidly gaining my trust, which was a very rare thing. I was enjoying mingling with all these people but the one person I really wanted to see and talk to wasn't there. I was beginning to become really disappointed that Isaac hadn't arrived yet. Maybe he isn't going to come. He's all I think of lately; I can't help it. When I'm not preoccupied and I have time to think, what does my mind go to, nothing but Isaac. I don't know why I can't get him off my mind. I have never felt these feeling for anyone else, ever. Is it love, or is it lust? I don't know what it is but it's a mixture of the best and worst feelings. When I'm thinking about him and the possibility of me being with such an amazing person, it's the best feeling; but the always-present shadow of doubt knowing that it is most likely never going to happen, is the worst feeling in the world. Every time I think about the fact I don't have a chance with him since he is probably straight, it makes me depressed. Another torturing hour went by and there was still no sign of Isaac. I had pretty much given up all hope of actually seeing him tonight. I had resigned to the fact he wasn't coming. I slipped outside onto the veranda to get some fresh air and clear my mind. I'd begun to find that I like to just stare out over the city, it is relaxing to simply forget and release whatever is troubling the mind. With the blinds pulled shut over the glass windows I felt pretty safe no one would disturb me outside, unless they'd seen me slip out. I don't know how long I'd been outside because I was lost in thought. I had taken a seat and closed my eyes to try and fully clear my mind of everything. I was in such deep thought that I didn't hear that someone had come out onto the veranda and taken a seat across from me. I was eventually pulled out of thought by the feeling that I was being watched. I opened my eyes and was shocked at the sight. Sitting across from me was Isaac. My mind started to do cartwheels, but surprisingly I still remained relatively calm and relaxed. That may have been because of the alcohol I had consumed. I remained slouched in the chair to try and keep the nerves at bay. We sat there for what seemed like minutes, but in actual fact it was only a few seconds. I just sat there looking into his eyes, he had me hooked into a trance. I couldn't help but get lost in his blue eyes. Those blue eyes that seemed to pierce straight through me. I was glad I was sitting in the dark and the moonlight was coming from behind me so he couldn't really see the longing in my eyes. The longing to have him, to be held by him, to fall asleep in his arms. I pulled myself out of my trance and decided to break the silence. "How long have you been sitting there?" I asked casually while looking back out over the view of the city. "Not long, just a couple of minutes." "Why didn't you disturb me instead of just watching?" "You looked peaceful and in thought, I didn't want to disrupt." He replied while flashing his killer smile. "Yeah I was just clearing my head, I find it peaceful out here." "Clearing it of something or someone in particular?" He queried. 'Yes of you' I thought to myself. "Yes and No." I replied not giving too much away and moved the attention straight off of myself. "So when did you get here? I didn't see you inside before I came out here." "I actually just arrived, I got held up at home. Oh, I brought you out a drink." He informed me while handing me a can of rum and cola. "Thanks, how'd you know I liked rum?" I thanked him while opening it and taking a sip. Wow this boy knows me already, I don't remember telling him I like rum, and how thoughtful of him to bring me a drink. One thing that popped into my head was the fact that he had just arrived and he tracked me down. Maybe I was pushing wrong thoughts into my head, but instead of mingling with everyone, he came and found me; me out of all his other friends that were here at the party. Okay maybe he was only coming to find me because I was technically hosting the party, but still. A guy is allowed to hope isn't he? "Lucky guess really, and well if you don't want it I would have drank it haha." "Ha ha, not going to happen. So what, did your parents have you slaving away or something?" I questioned him. "Actually yes, they had the whips out and all. I think I have actually gotten burnt from not having a shirt on outside all afternoon haha. So I've been looking forward to getting a drink." 'I wish I could have seen him without his shirt on' I was thinking to myself. I would love to see his clearly defined chest, which was evident even through his shirt. To run my fingers over it and be pressed up against him. Okay snap back to reality Ben. "So what have you been up to the past couple of days?" he casually asked while relaxing back into his chair into a similar position I was in. I still couldn't get over the fact that he has chosen for the moment to be sitting outside with me then to be hanging out with his regular friends inside. I began thinking to myself that if we don't get back inside around other people I might end up saying or doing something I will regret. I just couldn't stop my mind from wondering whenever I was around him. "Just the usual." I finally responded. "And what is the 'usual' for Benny?" he said putting emphasis on the usual, while turning to face me with a grin on his face. "Not that you perve." I shot back at him while chuckling. "Just getting back into the swing of uni and working. Oh and planning this party. What about you?" "Ha ha sure... Well I must say you seem to have done quite the job, everyone seemed to be having a blast inside. And well you know just the 'usual'" he said trying to keep the smirk off his face. "Speaking of which I think we should get back inside before people get suspicious." "Suspicious of what?" he joked while playfully stroking my knee, which sent shockwave's through my body. Even through my jeans his touch felt so soft, like nothing I had ever felt before. I couldn't respond. I was too busy trying to compose myself and stop myself from jumping him right then. Why is it that straight guys always are the biggest flirts and they don't even know they are doing it? They don't know how much it hurts a gay guy? It sends so many mixed signals and ends up causing heartache in the end. Makes you feel stupid for even thinking of the prospect. "Yeah we should be getting back inside." Isaac said while offering his hand to help me up, breaking the silence created from my lack of ability to communicate at that point. I took his hand to pull myself up and again I felt shockwaves. Like I had been zapped or stuck my hand in a fire. I found myself, once on my feet, staring into his eyes once again. I had to force myself to look away and make my way back inside. ---------------------------------------------------- Once back inside I found myself being dragged onto a make shift dance floor in the middle of the room by Kelly. "There you are! Come on let's dance." I looked over my shoulder at Isaac and he just smiled as I was dragged away to dance. After the current song finished Kelly immediately tried to find out what was I was doing outside. "So why were you outside?" "I just went outside to get some fresh air." "And what about Isaac?" she asked curiously while placing her arms around my neck, as we were now dancing along to a slow romantic song, blah, so not who I would want to dance it with. "What about him?" I answered, questioning cautiously. I didn't want to give away anything. I wasn't entirely sure what she was referring too. "What was he doing outside with you?" "Well, he had just arrived and he came to find me, since I am hosting this party." I explained. Well that is what he told me. Kelly thought for a few seconds and opened her mouth to say something but then seemed to think better of it. All she said was "Ok." I didn't bother asking what she was thinking, because I wasn't sure where that was going to lead and I wasn't going to risk revealing anything, which was quite possible considering I was thoroughly inebriated. The party started to slow down after midnight and most of the guests began to leave. By about 1:30 it was just Kelly, Isaac and myself. Adam had already passed out and we had put him on the bed in the spare room, well what is now his room I guess. His night and trying to hook up with one of Kelly's girl friends didn't exactly go to plan. The three of us had just been casually chatting for the last hour or so. Kelly kept giving me funny glances every so often after she seemed to be in deep thought. It looked like she really wanted to say something but kept thinking better of it. I was becoming very nervous. I knew as soon as Isaac had left I would have to lock myself in my room before Kelly had a chance to be alone with me and ask whatever was in her head. After helping clean up most of the living room and kitchen Isaac announced he should be going. "Well I should get going. The party was awesome Ben, and Kelly." "Yeah thanks for coming." I replied "Ditto." Answered Kelly. "Are you going to be right to get home?" I asked. "Yeah I texted my sister and she is coming to pick me up." "You have a generous sister coming to pick you up at this hour." "Yeah, but I do it for her too, so it's fair." He said while walking and opening the door to head out. "So I will see you first thing Monday for our Accounting class then Kel?" he said while giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek goodbye. "Yep." She said cheerfully. "And I'll see you sometime Ben?" he queried while also giving me a hug. I was in shock. I couldn't believe he was hugging me. It may have just been because of the alcohol, or maybe he farewelled everyone this way, but he was hugging me. I was in heaven. I felt so safe in his embrace, and I could smell his intoxicating scent. I was in heaven for the short time his strong arms were around me. It may have just been me but it seemed the hug lingered longer then a normal guy hug would last. It may have been only a second or two, but it felt like a lifetime. If anything it has just added fuel to my desire to have him, to want to be with him. As he was releasing me I felt the same shockwaves of earlier but tenfold, and a fiery scorch on my cheek. Did his lips just graze my cheek ever so slightly? If I wasn't standing there shocked before I was now. I must have looked like a deer in headlights. Mouth wide open. All I could manage in response was a simple nod after he broke the hug. He then simply smiled and turned and closed the door behind him. I broke myself from my temporary lack of function and turned immediately and headed for my room. "Did he just..." Kelly began to question. "No!" I quickly answered before she had a chance to get her question out. "But..." she tried again. I shut my bedroom door behind me so she couldn't try and interrogate me. ---------------------------------------------------- Thanks for reading the fourth chapter of my first story. So if you have any comments, feedback or criticisms please email me. If any of you have any thoughts on where you think the story is heading, I would like to hear them. Also if you would like to be put on the list to be notified of when new chapters are posted let me know.