Date: Fri, 24 Aug 2007 15:19:55 -0400
From: tearsdry66@aol.com
Subject: Beautiful Tragedy 3

The long awaited chapter is here ^^ Sorry it took me so long to post.
Please e-mail me or leave a comment on my webpage telling me what you
thought of this chapter. Until next time,

-Tears

Beautiful Tragedy: Breaking the Silence
     Chapter Three: Busted

   I walk nervously trough the crowded halls of Easton High constantly
pulling the sleeve of my shirt down over my hands in hopes that no one will
see my cuts even though I know perfectly well that they can't. When I get
to my English class, I take my seat by the window in the back and stare
down at the desk, my mind feels like its going 100 mph over every thought I
can possibly think of. I'm so unfocused that I don't even notice Maya walk
in and sit in the desk beside me. "Hey Hun." She says smiling, her long
blonde hair is braided into pigtails.

I slowly look up at her and force a smile. "Hey." I say, my voice is
emotionless... almost cold.

She looks at me worriedly, "Are you alright?" the back of her hand comes to
rest gently on my arm, barely touching the cuts making me wince and pull
away.

"River?" she says firmly looking at me with that over protective look she
gets before she goes into protective big sister mode.

"What?"  I snap not meaning to.

She takes a deep breath and looks away from me then directly into my
eyes. "Come with me." She says standing up.

I look at her cause I know she's gonna make me show her my arm, I glance up
at the clock in front of the class room. "Maya, class starts in 3 minutes."
I say hoping that she'll drop it.

Mr. Johnson walks in and smiles at the few students that are here early
before setting up today's lesson before the bell rings. Maya looks over at
him and then back at me. "Fine, but we will talk after class." She says her
tone cold and serious.

When the bell finally rings to start class I let out a relived sigh as I
reach down for my messenger bag next to my feet to pull out my binder, as I
do one corner scratched up against my arm but I don't really pay any
attention to it.  I open my binder up to a clear piece of paper as
Mr. Johnson passes out our usual Friday's test. As he hands me my test I
notice him looking at me strangely.  "River, what's that?" he asks pointing
to my sleeve.

I feel my heart skip a beat as I close my eyes then glace down at the
sleeve of my light blue shirt. On the cuff is a little bit of blood. I
quickly try to hide it, and he continues handing out the tests. When he
finishes he goes back up to his desk in the front of the classroom and
writes something down on a piece of paper, I hold my breath hoping her wont
make a big deal about it.

"Mr. Jemison, please come up here." He says firmly.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I slowly get up from my desk,
pick up my bag and walk slowly over to him with my binder pressed hard
against my chest. Just fucking great I think to myself as I bite at my lip
ring. When I reach him he holds out a blue post-it and gives me a
disappointed look as he pushes his glasses back up his nose. I take the
post-it and walk out of the classroom, I can feel everyone's eyes on my
back as I walk into the hallways and glance down at the note Mr. Johnson
had given me.

                       To nurses office, 9:13am

                                                  Matt Johnson

Under his name these a few letters that I can't make out, they probably
stand for something. I let out another sigh as I walk slowly towards the
nurse's office. I have no choice but to, there's no getting out of this
one. I look down at my arm and think about how stupid it was to do
it. Stupid but necessary. When I finally get to the nurse's office I walk
in, she standing behind her desk, her curly red hair is pulled back into a
ponytail and she gives me a soft smile as if she was expecting me. I sit
down in the chair in front of her desk and she takes her own seat. "What's
your name, Hun?" she asks as she turns the computer one.

"Um.. River... Jemison." I answer as I hold my binder close.

She types in my name and then looks at me. "Okay, River. Why are here?" she
asks kindly. I take a deep breath and hand her the note. She takes it from
me then nods her head.  "Let me see your arm." She says standing up and
walking over to me.

I place my binder on top of her desk and slowly roll the sleeve of my shirt
up exposing the cuts on my wrist. She examines them closely, then puts some
bactine on it, then wraps it. What happens now?" I ask softly as she sits
back at her desk and glances over my file.

"We have to call your mom." she says, picking up the phone. "This kind of
thing is serious and should never be ignored. It's a cry for help,
River. And it's our job to make sure you get it." She says dialing the
numbers to my house... of course my mom doesn't answer because she's
probably passed out or shooting up.

I stay in the nurse's office for an hour before she releases me. I walk out
of the office to find Maya waiting for me right outside, her arms crossed
over her chest, I can tell by the way she's tapping her foot on the floor
that she's pissed. "What the fuck were you thinking?" she asked trying to
keep her voice down.

"Please not right now." I say as I walk past her, im not in the mood for a
lecture right now.

"I don't care if you want me to bitch at you or not, you're getting either
way." She says following. "I mean, what were you thinking? Are you trying
to kill yourself?" she asks grabbing my arm and pulling my sleeve up.

I quickly pull away, I don't need it announced all over the school that I
cut myself. I take a deep breath and pick up my pace. "I have class." I
say.

"No you don't. You're coming with me." She said grabbing my arm and pulling
me angrily towards the front doors of the school.

"Maya, I have to go to class, I can't ditch." I say trying to pull away
from her but she only tightened her grip. When we get outside, Alex is
sitting on the bench right next to the flag. Oh hell no... why did she have
to bring him into this too. When Alex sees us he stands up and walks
towards me. "I know what you're thinking." I say as he opens his mouth to
say something.

He looks at me and takes a deep breath. "Show me." He says calmly.

"I--I can't... the nurse just wrapped it." I say to him. It's not that it
was just wrapped that I don't want to show him; it's because I did it that
I don't want to show him.

He moves closer until he's a little less than two feet in front of
me. "Show me." He repeats, this time his voice is shaky, worried. I look
into his green eyes and let out a sigh as I roll my sleeve up and slowly
peel back the bandage.

Maya winced slightly when she saw the cuts; Alex closed his eyes and shook
his head in disapproval as he takes my arm in his hand. "Why, Riv? Why the
fuck did you do this?"

"It gets rid of pain." I look up at him feeling guilty because I can see
how much this is hurting him.

"I--I don't know what to say to you." He says letting go of my arm. "Are
you trying to kill yourself? What if you had hit a vein? His voice slowly
rising.

"I didn't cut that deep."

"That's not the point." Maya says cutting in

"Exactly." Alex says looking at her. "I mean.... River.... Damn it." He
moved closer to me, his left hand coming to gently rest on my cheek. "I
love you so much, and when you do shit like this... I don't know what to
think... Do you want to end us?"

"Of course not!"

"Then promise me." He says looking deep into my eyes. "Promise me you'll
never pull something like this again."

I take a deep breath, trying hard to hold back my tears. "I promise."

Maya looks at Alex and then at me. "I better get to class." She says softly
as she runs back towards the school.

I slowly look up at Alex, a tear managed to escape and roll down my
cheek. He let out a heavy sigh and wiped the tear away from my cheek then
pulled me close. "Don't ever scare me like that again." He whispers softly
into my ear.

"I'm sorry..."

He gently tucks his hand under my chin and makes me look at him as he
kisses me softly on the lips. "I'd die if I lost you."  I lean into his
arms; my head resting firmly against his chest, the scent of coconut coming
off of him was intoxicating. He kisses my forehead before pulling
away. "Come on, let's go."

I look at him confused. "What? Where? -- I have class." I say pulling my
messenger bag up on to my shoulder.

Alex walks over to the curb and then turns to look at me. "Well, your
call... come with me or... stay here." He says as he continues walking
towards his car.  I take a deep breath and bite at my lip ring debating on
what I should do... I glance back at the school and then at Alex before
running towards him. How can I possibly tell him no?  I get in the car as
he puts the keys in the ignition. "I knew you'd come." He says smiling
softly as I close the passenger door and he pulls out of the parking lot.

"Where are we going?" I ask as I rest my hand on Alex's knee.

Alex looks at me and lets out a heavy sigh. "My mother's." I'm taken aback;
he was taking me to his mother's? I lean back in my seat, my eyes still
fixed on him, waiting for an explanation. "She wants to meet you. Every
time I go home it's `When do I get to meet your boyfriend?' or `Alexzander
am I ever going to meet that boyfriend of yours?' So I figured it was time
to shut her up."  He says taking my hand from his knee and brings it up to
his lips. "Besides, we've been together what... 5 months?"

"Yeah."

He lets go of my hand and focuses on the road. "You don't have a problem
with meeting my family, do you babe?" he asks quickly.

"No. Not at all. I want to meet them, it's just... so sudden." I answer.

"I know, I should of told you sooner, it was kinda last minute."

"It's Alright."

                                                          X

About fifteen minutes later we pull into the drive way of an older looking
white house in a gated community, as soon as Alex and I are out of the car
a woman with dark brown hair wearing a blue apron comes out with a smile
drying her hands. "Alexzander, it's about time." She says walking over to
him and giving him a hug.

"Hi mom." He says, I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's a little
embarrassed by his mother. She steps away from him and turns to look at me.

 "And this must be the infamous River." She says looking back at her son. I
bite my lip ring a little nervous as she stands in front of me.

"Yes, Ma. This is my Boyfriend/" he says walking over to me as well and
wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"It's nice to meet you, sweetie." She says taking my hand in hers. "Alex
has told us so much about you." She turns and motions for us to follow her
into the house. As we walk in, Alex leans close to me and whispers "Relax."
Into my ear. I take a deep breath as I follow him into the house. The house
is small and dimly lit, the walls are covered with pictures, and some look
to be at least 40-50 years old.  "Are you boys hungry?" Alex's mom asks
from the kitchen.

"No ma, we're fine." Alex answers as he sits down on the couch. I look at
him and sit in between his legs.

A moment later, the front door opens and a girl a few years younger than me
walks in flipping her dyed red hair. "Hodio la escuela."

Alex's mom looks at her and shakes her. "I don't care whether you like it
or not, you have to go until your graduate, Jacqueline." She says.
Jacqueline rolls her eyes as she drops her backpack on the corner of the
couch next to us and rolls her eyes.

"Hi Jacqueline." Alex says as he wraps his arms around me, holding me close
to his chest.

She looks at him and rolls her eyes. "What are you going here? Didn't you
move out?"

"Yeah so?"

"Well can't you like... stay at your new place? Do you have to come here
all the time?"

"Cant you just get a life?" Alex said sticking his tongue out at her.

"You two, enough." Alex's mom says as she walks into the living room. "I
don't need you all fighting."

We stay at Alex's family's house for a few hours; his mom shows me baby
pictures of him, the usual embarrassing parent thing. I like how she
accepts me as part of their family, and how she accepts that her son is
gay. And I wish my mom was like that and that I could bring Alex home to
meet her, but I know she'd never let me. At 8 o'clock Alex and I leave, his
mom kisses me on the cheek before I get in the car. On the way home I look
at Alex and smile. "Do you think your mom likes me?" I ask with a smile/

"Like you?"  Alex says as he lets out a soft laugh. "If you were straight
she'd probably marry you."

I laugh too. It feels good to be accepted by Alex's mom. "I love you." I
say with a smile.

He returns the smile and places his hand on my leg. "I love you too,
River."

                                                   X

When we pull into the parking lot of the apartment complex, Alex reaches
behind him and pulls my backpack out of the backseat and hands it to me. "I
hope you had fun." He says.

"I did."

"good." He leans closer to me until I feel his lips gently brush up against
mine. I take in a deep breath as I lean into the kiss, kissing him back as
my hand comes to rest on the back of his neck. He starts biting playfully
at my lip ring, pulling on it gently before kissing me again.

"I better go." I say breathlessly as I pull away from him slightly.

"Mm... Don't go. Not yet." He says grabbing the collar of my shirt and
pulling me back into the kiss. I let out a soft moan as I kiss him back
again, no matter how hard I try I can't say no to him. My head is
spinning... I cant think about anything else besides kissing him.

"Okay mister." I say with a smile as I pull away from him. "I really need
to go now."

He pouts his lips. "Okay I guess."

I lean in close to him again and kiss him. "Good night."

"Good night, sexy." He says as I get out of the car. I smile softly and
wait for him to drive away before walking over to the front door of the
apartment, The lights are all on which means my mom is still awake.... Oh
great.

As soon as I walk in I can feel the tension. "Why weren't you in class?" my
mom says as she walks out of her bedroom.

"I was." I say hanging my backpack on the coat rack.

"Don't be smart with me, where were you the rest of the day?" She snaps.

"I was with Alex." I say brushing past her. I hate how my mother acts. She
tries to be over protective but we both know she could care less.

"That boy. How many times have I told you?" She screamed putting her hand
in the way so I couldn't walk past her anymore. "Your school called and
said you had cut yourself, is that true?"

"What if it is?" I snap. "It's not like you even fucking care." I say
pushing her away and walking into the kitchen.

She follows. "River! I refuse to let you get away with talking to me like
that. If you do this again." She says grabbing my arm and exposing my cuts
-- why do people keep doing that today? "I will be forced to send you to a
mental hospital or something."

I get a coke out of the fridge and try hard not to laugh. "No you wont. You
don't even care." I say opening the can and taking a drink from it.

"Like hell if I don't." she screamed again. "I will do everything I have
to, to have a normal teenaged boy. No more cutting and no more seeing this
boy."

I set the can on the counter. " I love him, and you cant stop me." I say
clenching my firsts trying to keep back my anger as best as I can.

She looks at me in disbelief, I start to walk past her and as I do, I feel
her hand come in contact with the side of my face. "Don't ever talk back to
me again." She says calmly.

I look at her, my hands shaking as I place my right hand over my eye. "I
hate you." I say under my breath,. Not load enough for her to hear it as I
walk back towards my bedroom, shut the door and lock it.

All feed back is welcomed and loved. ^^
tearsdry66@aol.com
Webpage - http://beautiful.tragedy.66.tripod.com/