Being Josh

Part XIII:  Dumping Kale

He bent down and pushed me on the floor. He sucked my nipples and it felt wonderful. A few seconds later I could feel his tongue revolving my penis and it felt wonderful too. Kale kissed my body all over on his way up to my lips and kissed me there again. Our tongues didn't belong in our mouths anymore...they were exploring a whole new mouth... I could feel Kale's naked sexy body on top of mine. He was a heavier than Jake and applied more wonderful pressure on my body. He sucked me so wonderfully. Kale was wonderful. Seconds later cum oozed out of my erect penis...and Kale was right there to fetch every drop of it. The first thing that came to my mind after I came: Joshua Bouchard was a sex maniac.

I was in the shower, cleaning up the mess we made. Kale had to leave as he had a job to take care of. I felt so dirty...not only outside...but inside. I wanted the hot water to wash off my inner dirtiness and make me pure again. I didn't know what to think...I was obsessed with Kale. I had asked him to come back in the evening and he had gladly nodded his darn beautiful head. Why did I ask him to come? I don't know.

Two weeks had passed since I met Kale...or rather since I was set up with him. I began to understand his complex character...well...at least a little bit. We had sex almost...well...every night. I had stopped thinking...what made me do the things I did...I was so confused. I had reached a point where I no longer cared...I just did it, because it made me feel good...it made me forget Jake. I knew it was pathetic...but I didn't give a damn.

I remember that night when I forced Kale to sit down with me and actually talk...we hardly did that...he would come home and in five minutes time we would be on top of each other.

"Tell me..." I said.

"What hottie?"

"Hm...start with your parents..." I said. I was comfortably sitting down on the floor, my back resting on the bed and Kale was lying on my thighs looking at me.

"Fuck them."

"Kale..."

"You don't wanna know hottie...you will cry"

"You mean...you will cry" I smirked.

"My parents were very strict with me. My mom used to physically torture me for anything remotely obnoxious. I liked my Dad...well at least I used to..." he said. Kale was serious...I could see that from his face.

"Used to?"

"I ran away from home Joshua..."

"Really?"

"Yup. I came all the way here with my Uncle's help."

"What do you have against your father Kale?"

"I don't want to talk about that bastard..."

"You are going to tell me or you are going to leave!"

"I was thirteen when...he...came on to me."

"What?"

"It was 2 AM...I was sleeping when he came to my room and undressed me and..." he said in a broken voice. He got up and left.

"Kale..."

I followed him. He was in the kitchen looking at a frying pan!

"Kale..." I said touching his shoulders with my hands.

He turned around with tears continuously coming out of his eyes. He hugged me. "It was terrible Josh...I never...he ...he was the only one in this world....that bastard." It was then that I saw the more emotional Kale...that I knew he had buried within himself. 

"I know...I know..." I said patting on his head. I didn't know...only Kale knew. And I was so sorry for him.

"Shit...you got me crying like a fucking pussy Joshua!" he said clearing his tears.

"I'm glad I did you prick!"

From that day on Kale was more...er...gentle to me. He still made his crude jokes...but I had found a new respect for me in him. But I knew one thing...I wasn't in love with Kale. Something was missing...Jake. I knew it was more physical...and I stopped thinking about it...because I no longer believed in serious relationships? I didn't have a clue what was going on in my damn head. I just lived my life making hasty decisions all the time. I cut classes and hanged out with Kale. I stopped helping Laura with her projects. I hanged out with Sam and Adam too but never took Kale along with me...I wonder why. Steve was practically of no importance to me...I didn't even bother finding out more about him. A casual Hi in the morning and Goodnight in the night was all that we talked. He always locked himself in his room and never freaked out like I did!

"Hi!"

"Hi Kale..."

"Get ready...we are going for a movie!"

I could never watch a movie with Kale. He kept making crude jokes about the story during the movie...that I would laugh aloud, even in miserably sad scenes and everyone would stare at me like I am some weirdo...and I was one, at least with Kale. 

"So how do you like it?"

"The movie or your jokes?"

Kale grinned at me. "Hey what is the matter?" Kale asked looking at the shocked expression on my face.

"Jake..." I murmured.

"Who?"

"My boyfriend...Jake...there!" Strangely I couldn't say x-boyfriend.

"Ohhh...the c2bg. Look...he is with a guy! What did I tell you?" Kale said excitedly.

"Jake isn't with him...he is just someone else" I said in contempt smacking Kale in his shoulders.

"Then why are talking to each other..."

"I dunno..." So Jake was with someone?

"Get up and come with me!" Kale said.

"Where? No!" I said. Kale just took my hands and pulled me with him. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Just come hottie...you will see..."

We were now walking behind Jake...and...his boy friend? We were on a lonely street now. Kale stopped under a light post and started laughing loudly. "Ohh...Joshua Bouchard...you are so funny" he said loudly.

Kale then grabbed me and kissed me. "Kale...what the..." I whispered.

"Just keep kissing.." he murmured.

I struggled to see whether Jake was looking but I couldn't. When I stopped kissing I looked to my right...there was Jake!

"Josh! I knew it was you..."

I was shocked. How could he simply come to me and talk like that? If I were him, I would run away.

"Jake..."

"Josh. Meet Alex."

"Hi Alex..." I said.

"Jake. This is Kale."

"Hi Kale" Jake said unperturbed.

"Alex was dying to see this movie...he came yesterday from Boston. Being his cousin I had to take him to his movie..."

Cousin!

"So did you like it Alex?" Kale said.

"I loved it" Alex replied.

"Well Joesph..Jake...whatever...Josh and I have to leave now...see you later." Kale said.

Kale took my hands and we walked away from Jake and his cousin Alex.

We walked and walked. I was in deep thought and strangely Kale let me think. But I couldn't think clearly...I didn't know what was happening to me. When we almost reached our apartment Kale spoke up. "We made him so jealous didn't we Joshua?"

Suddenly thoughts rushed into my brain. I reacted.

"Get your hands off me!" I said taking my hands from Kale's grip. I ran away.

I was running...where? I didn't know. I was running away from Kale, how I hated him. He simply took control of my conscience. I had lost myself in him. I was running away from my life... My mind didn't know where I was going...but my heart knew. When I reached there I was panting. I didn't hesitate catch up with my breath in a fear I would turn back. I knocked on the door.

"Josh! What are you doing here?" Jake said.

I didn't respond... I was breathing too fast. I stepped inside.

"Who is it Jake?" Alex said coming out of...I suspect...Jake's room.

The expression on Alex's face changed when he saw the tears on my face. I wiped them off...damn them.

"Alex...could you excuse us for sometime?"

Alex thought for a second, puzzled. "Sure...I will go and get some...some...beer" he said. He left.

"How do you know where I live?" Jake said closing the door.

"Laura told me." I said.

We looked at each other. There was a disturbing silence between us after that. At last Jake broke the ice.

"Josh...why.."

I interrupted him. "Jake...Kale is just...just...some guy...I'm not seeing him or anything. Nothing is going on between us. We are just..."

"Josh! We are no longer together for Christ sake! You can see other people without my fucking approval..."

I kept quiet. We are no longer together for Christ sake! But we are Jake...don't you think so? I never wanted to let go of you...and I never did.

"I just thought you should know..."

"I don't need to...Josh we have to move on..."

Move on? I couldn't take it anymore. There was going to be an outburst of tears from my eyes. And there was. Before Jake could see it I quickly pushed myself forward and hugged him tightly.

"I miss you Jake..." I cried.

"I know...but we have to move on. You know I can't...I...just can't..." he said. I wiped my tears. I withdrew my grip on him. I was letting go of him.

"Now I think you should leave before I change my mind.." he smirked.

I forced a smile. "Sure"

I left.

When I came out Kale was walking on the pavement!

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I shouted.

"Looking for you hottie...why did you run away like that?"

"Kale...I'm sorry...I don't want to see you again. I'm afraid I'm going to run away again." And I did. I could hear Kale shouting from behind. "Josh...Josh...". Josh.

I opened my eyes to yet another day in my life. It struck me whatever happened in our lives...breakups...deaths...whatever...we always moved on. Always. I had my moving on to do now. I got up and wiped my eyes. Suddenly I wanted to crawl back to my bed. I don't want to move on. I want to go back...I wanted to go back to the time I was with Jake. But I forced myself up...there was no going back. I had to face life as it was. The door bell was ringing. Who could that be so early?

I opened the door.

"What...What are you doing here?" I said.

"I just can't get over you Josh..." Jake said. He came inside, closed the door and kissed me. I hugged him tightly and kissed him...he was back? I didn't know why...and I didn't care. I was kissing him. Was I dreaming? Am I still sleeping?

"Josh...let us sit down...I have to tell you something."

"Okay"

"Nice apartment...how are the rents?" he asked dumbly.

"Jake...cut the crap and tell me what are you doing here?"

"Josh. Kale isn't Sam's friend. He is my friend."

"What???"

"Yup. In fact...he...he is my first one...er...before I met you."

I couldn't digest what he was telling me. "What are...you mean? Why?"

"I had sent Kale to you. It was a whole god damn setup. I had asked Sam to introduce Kale as his friend."

"But why the fuck would you do something like that?"

"Because I knew...I knew...you could never forget me. You loved me too much."

"So you sent someone to make me forget you?"

"Yes. I knew you wouldn't see anyone after I left. And I can't live with that. And I knew Kale was just the guy to do the job."

To do the job!

"You also told him to tell me you had found someone else?"

"I'm afraid so." he said sadly.

"And now you are here? Why are you telling me all this? Why don't you all just leave me alone!" I shouted. " I don't want anyone anymore".

"Josh...relax. Listen to me. Before the wedding I was very happy about us. I couldn't stop thinking about you...but never told you of course. Josh...I came out to Kate."

"What?"

"Yup. I told her I was gay. I told her I was dating you. I told her everything."

"What happened?"

"She hyperventilated. I was fucking stupid to her just before her wedding!"

"And...?"

"She tried to be supportive...but she just couldn't handle it. Seeing her react that ...I seriously thought about us...about how our parents will take all this..."

"And you just couldn't handle it..."

"After you left Kale came to my house...he talked to me till midnight. He never knew how deeply in love we were...until he met you. He made me realize how unfair I had been to you and how fair it was for me to be myself...to be with you...Josh...I fucked up a lot...I don't know..."

"Jake...don't say anything...I'm tried of everything...just hug me." I said. We stood up and held each other.

"I love you. After I left you I missed you too much. You had brought so much happiness in my life that I repaid you with a breakup..." Jake said.

"I love you too Jake...and you do know that...why did you leave me? Why?" I cried.

He looked in my eyes. He kept his hands on my cheeks and came closer to me. "I will never leave you again..." he said. And kissed me.

"Kale" I murmured.

"What about him?"

"I should thank him for putting some sense into you!"

"Hey! My love for you made me come back too..."

"Yaya! Whatever." Kale...I'm sorry...I don't want to see you again. " I owe Kale a lot Jake...."

"We both do."

I moved out of my apartment and moved in with Jake. We didn't need an extra room...an extra bed did the job. A week later Kale came to visit us. I asked him how can I ever repay what he did for us. He said, "Can I sleep with you one night hottie?" and winked at me. He then told me he was just kidding. When I asked him why he wasn't looking for something serious...he said, "There are so many fucking cute boys in the world...let me enjoy them first...then when I am 30 something I will settle with someone." Kale was a complex character...but we liked him the way he was. As for Jake and myself we were doing simply fine...there were eventual speed breakers in our relationship...but someone always agreed with the other. That was the trick of maintaining a relationship.  I was elated that being josh had paid off at last.

THE END (Applause please!)

I always mess up with endings. I had to do a lot of thinking for this one, I hope you liked it. I thank all the readers for giving my their immense encouragement and support...especially the ones who mail me after every episode. I'm sorry about the Steve character...I just couldn't use him enough in the series...he came in simply too late in this story...I feel sorry for him! ;) This has been  a very nice experience for me and I am sure I will be tempted to write more sequels in future. Now...let me take a break!

Mail me at wonderme1999@yahoo.com your comments on Being Josh. (You can send me your ideas for future sequels...it can be based on your life too!)