My Belovèd is mine, and I am his.
Song of Songs 2:16
Carl Emrick pressed the key fob button for
the rear hatch of the Highlander, and it rose silently to allow Andy
Helder and Berto Hernandez to put their bags into the cargo
space. It closed and latched as Kevin strapped Casey's carrier to
the back of the front passenger seat, and he and Cam sat in the back
with Berto. Carl and Andy took the front seats.
Carl didn't let Andy's presence impair his driving out of LAX after he
the wheel, but he was clearly exhilarated to see Andy. He
couldn't stop smiling. It was hard to keep his eyes on the road
when all he wanted to do was to glue his eyes to his boyfriend--Andy
was so handsome. Andy apparently felt the same way about
Carl. He watched Carl in profile as he maneuvered the truck out
of the parking lot and the airport, and then reached over and gently
put his hand on Carl's neck. Andy's mere touch made Carl's cock
jump and start to swell in his Levi's. The three boys in the
second seat smiled, having a pretty good idea what Carl was
experiencing right about then.
They were back in Malibu before long. As Berto and Andy pulled
their bags out of the truck, Kevin unstrapped Casey's carrier.
They all went into the house, Carl and Andy walking hand in hand.
"You guys hungry?" Cam asked the new arrivals as they passed the
kitchen. "We can warm up some soup or make you a sandwich.
"Actually, that sounds pretty good," Berto said.
"Which one? Or both?" Cam asked.
"Give me the whole shot," Berto said.
"Andy? Carl?" Cam said with a smile, knowing the Carl couldn't
wait to get
his boy upstairs and into bed.
"I'm good," Andy said, glancing at Carl. "But thanks."
"Me, too, thanks," Carl said.
"You're excused, then," Kevin told Andy and Carl with a grin. "I
must really be tired. And ready for bed. Unless you wanna
stay up and talk, of course."
"Well..." Andy mumbled.
Cam laughed out loud before stepping to the refrigerator and pulling a
huge bowl of Maria's homemade tortilla soup out of the
"Kevin, you're such a dick sometimes!" he said with a grin.
"What??!!" Kevin said, trying to look innocent. "I'm just trying
to be hospitable."
"'Night, guys," Cam told Carl and Andy, drawing a grateful look from
both of them.
"See you in the morning," Carl said, picking up Andy's bag. "But
too early, please. We can run later in the morning, can't
we? It's Saturday."
"Yes, Carl," Kevin said, chuckling, stepping over to Andy and giving
him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for coming down here,
dude. You two get a good night's sleep now, y'hear!"
Andy's face turned red, and Carl and Andy were gone in a flash, leaving
Berto, Kevin and Cam with
big smiles on their faces.
"I think it's love," Cam said as he spooned refrigerated soup into a
smaller bowl to heat in the microwave. "We shouldn't tease them,
Kev. If you and I had been apart as long as Carl and Andy have,
we wouldn't have stopped in the kitchen at all. It would have
been right to the bedroom without any 'goodnights' for anybody."
"I know it," Kevin laughed. "I'll try not
to give in to my baser instincts and give them a hard time
"Now wait a minute," Cam protested. "Don't
make any promises you can't keep. I like your baser instincts
most of the time."
The three guys laughed. Kevin
walked over and put Casey in his carrier down on one
end of the kitchen table. The little boy
was fast asleep with a pacifier in his mouth.
The three of them sat down at the table while the bowl of
in the microwave.
"I'm glad Andy came down here with me," Berto said. "He's been
over to the house for supper a couple of times lately lookin' kinda
lonesome. I know he's been missing Carl. A lot."
"Same at this end," Cam said. "Carl hasn't been as cheerful as
usual, and I think missing Andy has everything to do with that."
"Yeah," Berto said. "But that's not the whole reason for some sad
faces lately. Everybody at the San Rafael house did a lotta
cryin' over what happened to you, Cam," the boy said in his usual blunt
manner. "I haven't cried since my mom and dad were killed, but I
hafta tell you I couldn't hold back when we got the news--I hid out in
the downstairs bathroom so I didn't make a fool of myself. And I
heard macho William sniveling during the night over in his bed,
too. He kept my ass awake half the night. So...I just want
you to know how bad we all feel. How sorry we are." The
usually stolid and sometimes undemonstrative Berto reached across the
where Cam was now sitting, and
put his hand on Cam's hand for longer than normal before withdrawing it.
"That means a lot to me, man," Cam told him. "It's
important to me..." Cam stopped talking because of a sudden lump
in his throat. "I can't make it without
the family. All of you. And you don't know how happy I am
I'm gonna be seeing all the guys down here in rotation on weekends."
The microwave beeped, and Kevin stood up and kissed his partner on top
of his head before going over and getting the soup for Berto.
He put it on the table, and then went back and started making a fat
sandwich for him.
"Hmmm," Berto said, inhaling the steam from the soup. "This
"Your sandwich will be right up," Kevin said.
Kevin slathered some honey mustard on the sandwich, added lettuce and a
slice of tomato, and brought it to
the table. "Milk or soda?" he asked.
"Milk'll be good, please."
Berto, a creature of habit as were all the boys, said a silent grace
the food before beginning to eat the soup and
taking huge bites out of the sandwich. "This is good," he
"Maria is a sweetheart, like Rosa and Yolanda," Kevin said about the
soup maker. "We
get some good meals around here. Speaking of Rosa and Yolanda,
"They're excellent. They miss you guys."
"Same here," Kevin said.
"So Berto, you doing a lot of dating?" Cam asked.
"Yeah," Berto said between spoonfuls of soup and bites of his
sandwich. "I've been dating three girls off and on, trying not to
get too attached to any one girl."
"Smart," Kevin said. "No wonder you look so content. What
"Well, William is a whole other story. He's mowing down girls at
school like crazy. The ladies fucking love him. And love
fucking him. He's lucky they don't throw him down in the
corridor and take advantage of him right there. At the rate he's
going I don't think there'll be a virgin left in the senior class by
the time graduation rolls around." He paused and
laughed. "Maybe not in the junior class, either. He's only
junior, but he's such a cocksman!" Berto added respectfully.
"Jeez, I hope he's using protection," Kevin said. "Ask me.
I know how important that is." He looked over at Casey, who was
still snoozing. "Not that Cam and I don't love our little bundle
"Oh, yeah, he's careful," Berto said. "We buy boxes of condoms in
the large economy size and hide them in our bedroom so Yolanda and Rosa
the 'rents can't find them. He uses three times the number of
rubbers I do. And of course, we fight over who gets to drive
Lincoln on dates. The back seat is no bed, but it's pretty roomy
for a car. We're gonna hate it when she trades for a new
car. The new ones are smaller." He chuckled.
"Whenever she starts talking about a new car, William and I try to
Cam laughed and looked at Kevin. "If we ever ride in the back
seat of Mom's car, remind me to check it out for foreign substances
"No worries when it comes to me. 'Hygiene' is my middle name,"
Berto said. He looked up at Cam and Kevin. "In a way, you
guys and Carl and Andy are the lucky ones, y'know. I'm not saying
that queer guys don't catch a lot of undeserved shit just for being
gay, but in your case, you guys found each other early. And
young. And all of you totally love your partners. That must
be great. There's a lot of stability in
that." Berto cleared his throat, a little embarrassed to be
talking about such personal things, even with his brothers.
But he continued. "I don't mind playing the field--in fact, I
kinda like it for the time being. But at some point I want
somebody to love. Really love with all my heart, not just
fuck." He cleared his throat again. "Love like you guys
have for each other."
"You'll find her, Berto," Kevin said. "I don't have any doubts
about that. I don't want to embarrass you, dude. But I have
to say you're a person who's capable of a lot of love for the right
someone. And I don't have to tell you that that counts for more
than just being an expert cocksman. Your ability to love--really
love someone--is going to guarantee a good relationship for you with
person. As far as gay couples go, you're right, Cam and I and
Carl and Andy
have been very fortunate to find each other," Kevin continued.
"I'm not sure how typical our relationships are when it comes to gay
though. We may not be typical at all. I just don't have
enough experience to say. I do know that if Cam ever tries to
leave me, he'll be in deep shit."
They all laughed, and Berto ate his
soup and sandwich in silence for a minute.
Then he looked up and studied Cam and Kevin.
"Well, I hope you guys realize how fortunate you are to have each
other," he said
"You're good to each other. And good for each other. Your
relationship is kind of the Holy Grail for the
rest of us, to tell you the truth. I don't mean because you're a
same-gender couple. I mean because you're so committed to each
other and take care of each other so well and take such good care of
Casey. The rest of us should be so lucky when our time comes."
Cam looked surprised. "Wow. Thanks. I
didn't know what you really thought about us. I mean, us being
gay and all. We've never really talked about it with you."
"That's my fault, then," Berto said. "I guess I'm not always a
good communicator. But living in a diverse family like ours has
really put me on the right track when it comes to social and gender
issues, and I'm grateful for that. The Latino culture
tends to be pretty machismo, y'know, and I'm glad to be outta that
trick bag." He cleared his throat. "I love you guys so
much, and I understand and accept the orientations God has given
all of us. The way I see it, both of you are a gift to this
to our family's world, fer sure. And to me. I
just wanted you to know that."
It was Kevin's turn to express his surprise.
"You blow me away sometimes, Berto," he said. "I hope you know we
love you back, and feel lucky to have you for a brother. No
matter what you do, you're gonna make your mark on this world, and do a
lot of good."
Berto looked down into his soup bowl without responding.
"Speaking of making your mark, have
you started applying to any colleges yet?" Cam asked.
"Ian and I are starting applications when I get back to San Rafael,"
Berto said. "He wants me to go to Stanford, and I'd like to go
there. Catherine thinks I won't have any trouble snagging an
academic scholarship there. Even so, I'm going to spread some
applications around just in case. I need to get cracking on that,
because I'm already behind with early admissions."
"Whaddaya want to study?" Kevin asked.
"I'm gonna be pre-law, I think," Berto said. "But Ian wants me to
take a lot of liberal arts courses before I get serious about the
law. He says you need a broad education to be successful no
matter what you do."
"I think he's right," Cam said. "That's what Mom has always said."
"What about you, Cam?" Berto asked. "I heard by the grapevine
that you dropped all your classes when, uh, you were assaulted."
"I dropped everything but Cinematography," Cam said. "It was my
favorite. Kevin thought I should stick with that one class, at
least, to give me something to think about other than myself while I
get some therapy." He turned his head, pulled Kevin's head over,
and kissed him on the cheek. "He's always right. Or so he
The guys talked for a few more minutes, and then Kevin stood up,
cleared Berto's dishes and silverware off the table and put them in the
Then the three guys went upstairs and down the hall to Berto's room,
carrying Berto's bag and Kevin the baby. Cam put the bag down in
bedroom and looked at Berto, and a
wave of affection for the boy overwhelmed him. He pulled Berto
a long hug, painfully conscious that this young man had struggled
with a great loss in his own life when his parents were murdered, and
he had emerged into a fine and
person. A brother who cared enough to take a precious weekend to
travel down to L.A. to see him and encourage him in his recovery.
Cam kissed his cheek and turned him loose, and then it was Kevin's turn
to pass Casey to Cam and to give Berto a hug, kiss and fist bump.
"Dude, you know where the extra towels are," Cam told him. "We
put clean sheets on your bed, and if
you need anything else, just let us know."
"Thanks, guys. See ya in the morning. If I sleep late,
don't let me miss our run."
"We'll getcha up, don't worry," Kevin said as he and Cam left, shutting
Berto's door behind them. They walked back down the hall to their
own room and closed the door. Cam carried Casey over to his
crib, took him out of his carrier, kissed his head and put him down on
his back. The little boy's diaper was still dry. Thank goodness for that, Cam
thought as he covered Casey with a light baby blanket that Maria had
left neatly folded on the crib rail. He stood there leaning
against the rail, contemplating the sleeping baby.
"This is one cute boy," Cam said.
Stepping back, he turned around and bumped
into Kevin, who was standing right behind him.
The partners looked into one another's eyes, and Kevin pulled Cam into
his arms, one hand on his neck and one on his ass.
"This is one cute boy," Kevin
said. "Cute face, great body, cute butt, and a nice big
dick. You were well equipped right from the factory. And
that's just the physical part. I
don't think you have a clue how much I love you," Kevin told him
Cam kissed him on the lips and rubbed noses with him. "I do
have a clue. Many, many clues."
"That's good," Kevin said. "Let's get to bed. I wanna hold
until you fall asleep."
"What??! No sex?"
"What Cam wants, Cam gets. You know that."
"Well, we can wait 'til morning," Cam suggested. "I love morning
sex. I'll try to control myself 'til then."
"Okay," Kevin chuckled.
They went into the bathroom, used the toilet simultaneously to take a
leak, washed their hands, cleaned their teeth and went back into the
"You're such a clean machine," Kevin kidded Cam as they stripped.
"That's one of the things I admire most about you."
"Uh huh. Thanks, I guess. Back atcha." Cam looked at
body. "Lose the boxers, too. I want you naked in case I
can't control my urges until morning."
Kevin grinned and complied. Then he pushed Cam's boxers down his
legs to the floor, and Cam stepped out of them. They climbed into
bed under the sheet and a light blanket and held each other.
"Oh, fuck, it really feels good to snuggle up to you, dude," Cam said.
"Same here," Kevin said, putting his nose to Cam's shoulder
and inhaling. "You smell good to me. All the
time." He raised his face to Cam's and gave him a long, gentle
kiss on the lips.
When they broke the kiss, Cam looked questioningly into Kevin's deep
"I wanna ask you something. Do you think we need to be worried
"Well, his schedule with the ladies seems to go beyond just liking to
fuck, doncha think?"
"I don't know," Kevin said. "I admit it isn't something I'd do if
even if I liked girls. Or that I'd do with guys if you weren't in
the picture, and I do like
guys." He rubbed noses with Cam before continuing.
"William must have one hell of a sex drive, that's all I
can say. Like yours." Cam gave Kevin an elbow to the ribs,
which made Kevin flinch and laugh. "Why do you ask about
you jealous?" Kevin asked.
"No, dufus. I guess I have mixed feelings about being that much
of a player. Don't you? There's a difference between having
good sex life and being a sex addict."
"I don't know. I guess I haven't thought about it that
much. When you're happy at home, like I am, you don't have
to be on the prowl all the time. I don't want to get into the
habit of sitting in judgment on
other people, though. Especially not one of our brothers."
Cam sighed. "I don't either. I just want him to be able to
move into a
good relationship with one special person down the road."
"Well, we'll keep an eye on him for awhile," Kevin promised. "I
just think he has a big dick and likes to use it, that's all."
"I hope that's all it is. He's such a good guy."
"You're such a good guy,
Cam. Perfect for me. That's all I know."
"Same here," Cam said. They lapsed into silence holding one
another, and Cam quickly drifted off to sleep.
Kevin couldn't shake off Cam's question about William all that easily,
though, and it took a little longer for him to fall asleep. He
suspected that the
question would keep popping up in his mind in the days to come because
the truth was that he wasn't a great admirer of a sexually promiscuous
lifestyle, whether it involved gays or straights. Down the
road, he knew he was
likely to process his thoughts about William's sex life in an
orderly manner, like the budding scientist he was. At the same
time, he would try not to moralize when it came to his brother.
For him, it was more a psychogical issue than a moral one at that point
Down the hall, meanwhile, intellectual questions about sex or any other
topic were far from Carl's and Andy's minds. Carl had pulled
Andy's rugby shirt off over his head as soon as they had shut their
bedroom door behind them, and Andy had done the same with Carl's
T-shirt. Bare-chested, they stood there holding each other and
looking into each other's
eyes until Carl lowered his head, pressed his nose to the skin of
Andy's neck, deeply inhaling his scent, and then moved down to
and nibble Andy's nipples, first one and then the other. Andy
boy's head in his hands as Carl worked his nips, and a giant
woodie made itself known in
Andy's pants in just seconds.
"Oh, fuck, Carl, I've missed you so much," Andy said, moaning a
little. He moved
one hand down to Carl's crotch, and confirmed that the boy's cock was
hard and about the size of Illinois.
Andy smiled and pushed Carl down on the edge of the bed, where he
pulled off his partner's sneakers, socks, pants and boxers. He
knelt between Carl's legs, took hold of
Carl's erection and went down on him repeatedly. Carl was leaking
pre-cum before Andy let him go.
Then they changed places as Carl stripped Andy and fellated
him. Andy moaned and let his torso fall back on to the bed.
"Lets not get ahead of ourselves," Andy groaned. He sat upright,
and inhaled Carl's crewcut as the boy
bobbed up and down on him. Carl pulled off Andy with great
"Let's clean our teeth," Carl said. "I
in bed with you. Right now."
Andy got his toiletries out of his
suitcase and the two guys went into the bathroom, both still
They brushed their
after their erections had subsided somewhat, relieved
at the same time into the toilet. Then they headed for bed with
"This bed is too fucking lonely without you," Carl told his boyfriend
as he pulled
down the sheet and they climbed in. They kissed deeply, tongues
doing battle as they enjoyed the contact so long denied. Sliding
in the bed then, Carl put his face between Andy's legs and swallowed
his hard penis again, holding it steady in his mouth as it probed his
before he began to bob his head slowly, sucking it firmly but
gently. Andy's smell was masculine and clean down there.
Andy spread his legs wider. "Oh, fuck!" he said. "That
feels awesome! Let's 69." Not waiting for an answer, Andy
helped Carl reposition himself and swallowed his lover's cock to the
"Hmmmmmmm," Carl hummed in pleasure, and Andy could feel the vibration
Carl created around his dick right to the core of his being.
Face to crotch, they continued to service each other for at least
fifteen minutes, varying the speed and pressure of their ministrations
to make it last, tasting the sweet pre-cum as it flowed in preparation
for the anticipated climax.
At long last Andy began to shoot first, followed by Carl only seconds
Both of them pulled back to take the load in their mouths rather than
down their throats. They wanted to taste each other
completely. They weren't
disappointed, ending up with mouths that were completely full.
They lay there unmoving, not swallowing, for several minutes
before Carl re-situated himself and they faced each other, Once
they deep kissed, mingling their stuff fully before
pulling back to look each other.
Finally swallowing, Andy gently touched Carl's face. "I saved up
for you," he said. He added, "You taste so good to me."
"Same here," Carl said after swallowing the copious load he had
received. He searched his partner's face. "I love you so
much, Andy. I'm empty inside when you're not around. And I
don't mean just physically."
"I know exactly what you mean," Andy said. He pulled Carl's
muscular body to his own and squeezed him tight. Breathing
softly, they held each other until they drifted off to sleep without
even turning off Carl's bedside lamp.
They woke up in the middle of the night. At Carl's whispered
request, Andy moved down and tongued Carl's hole, and then slowly and
gently stretched him out down there with his fingers. After
putting on a rubber from Carl's stash in his bedside table and lubing him, Andy mounted him and slowly worked his way
inside. Pausing then, he stroked Carl's face and hair gently
beginning to fuck him slowly.
"Yes!" Carl said in Andy's ear. "Do me."
Hungry for him, Andy gradually increased his tempo as Carl, his own
his ears, began raising his pelvis to meet his partner's thrusts.
They began groaning in unison as Andy's penis began repeatedly raking
Once again, they came almost in unison, Carl's semen shooting from his
penis trapped between their abs as Andy's drained inside his
lover. He lay there on Carl as the boy lowered his legs, and they
hugged and kissed each other with Andy still inside Carl.
Eventually, Andy pulled out and went into the bathroom. He
disposed of the full rubber, cleaned himself off, and then took a warm
washcloth and a hand towel back to Carl and cleaned him up.
"Thank you," Carl said softly, looking up at Andy lovingly. "For
"I couldn't be more in love with you than I am, Carl," Andy whispered
him. He wrapped the wash cloth in the towel and threw them to the
floor, lying down beside Carl and pulling the sheet and a blanket
over them. Snuggled together, totally relaxed and deeply content,
they were asleep again in seconds. Until two hours later when
Carl did Andy.
* * *
Life wasn't being kind to Rory Lomer, Peter Murtha and their leader in
Cam's assault, Eric Clymer.
First of all, Aaron Petrie, the ADA on L.A. County District Attorney
Nolan's staff who was in immediate charge of Cam's case, had gone into
persuaded the arraigning judge that the alleged crime in question was
so heinous that no bail should be granted. The judge agreed, and
that caused the
accused to be
remanded to the L.A. County Jail.
The procedures for inmates entering there required them to give up
wallets, money and watches, to strip naked, have their body
searched for contraband by jailers wearing rubber gloves, and then
shower before having their crotches and newly shaved heads sprayed for
lice and other
critters. It was totally humiliating, even for jocks like them
accustomed to being naked in a locker room setting.
Even worse, after being processed, the three young men were sent to
different cell blocks of the three man cells. They wouldn't even
one another in the common areas, so there would be no conversations
friendly faces. And no developing identical lies about what
happened the night Cam had been molested.
Caucasians were a minority in the facility, and Eric Clymer and Peter
Murtha had Latino cellmates who were taciturn, tattooed, and mean
looking. The slightest of the jail's three newest inmates, Rory
had two African-American cellmates, one of whom was Lomer's size.
He looked to be about 21 years old.
other was a giant, appearing to be 6'3" and about 19 years old.
He was a
giant, misnamed Tiny. The man
lost no time groping Rory as soon as the guard had brought him to the
cell and walked away after locking the door, not looking back.
Lomer fought Tiny off
and went over to an empty bunk to put sheets on it.
"I'm gonna fuck you later, after the guards are asleep," Tiny informed
the newbie, watching Rory's
ass move around as Lomer made up his bed on the other side of the
room--if the cell could be called a room. It was more like
a broom closet.
"The hell you are," Lomer told his antagonist over his shoulder.
you if you touch me again."
Tiny snorted derisively. "I'm gonna fuck you, and you're gonna
thank me for it afterwards while you clean off my dick with your little
mouth," Tiny told him.
The other black man, whose name Rory was later to learn was RayRay,
studiously avoided looking at the two of them as he sat quietly on his
bunk bed. Rory wondered if the man had previously been the
recipient of Tiny's unwanted advances, and hoped he could somehow get
the guy on his side when and if Tiny tried to make good on his threat.
Finishing his bedmaking task, Rory sat down on his bunk, sliding on to
bed to put
back to the wall. Finally, at that moment, he really began to
he and Peter and Eric had done to Cam MacKenzie. It clearly
hadn't been worth it. Eric had led them astray. It was time
to own up to that. He'd have to make that clear when when the
District Attorney's office began to question the three of them in
detail about what they had done.
That night, courtesy of Tiny, Rory Lomer got a small taste of what he
and his pals had
done to Cam in that house on the beach, with
RayRay holding him down. Aside from the physical pain and
sense of violation, Rory was mentally and emotionally devastated.
He was totally humiliated. He had been warned by Tiny that if he
complained about being fucked, the result would be Rory's being put
in solitary confinement until his trial was over. Rory didn't
know whether he could take solitary. But surely it would be
preferable to nightly rape and suckoff sessions with him being the
* * *
Cam and Kevin first woke up about 8 a.m., naked, rested and intertwined
their bed. They had gotten each other off three hours before, and
then had fallen asleep again.
Cam stirred first, and climbed out of bed to use the
bathroom. Kevin's eyes were open when Cam walked back to the bed.
"Don't leave me," Kevin whined. "You wore me out this
morning. I need my rest."
A very horny Cam had awakened Kevin at 5 a.m. to make love. At
insistence, Kevin had worked a couple of fingers into Cam's hole to see
if it had
healed, but Cam's rear
passage was still too sore to take the real thing, which would have
involved the equivalent of three fingers. So they had
had a mutual, satisfying and mutual cocksucking session instead before
falling back to
Cam went back over to the bed and sat on the edge, bending down to kiss
Kevin on the nose. "I wore
you out. You're
insatiable." He paused and smiled. "Thank goodness for
that. Get that sweet little ass of yours up, and let's go for a
I'll see if Casey needs to be changed, and then one of us should barge
in on Carl and
Andy and see if they're gonna make it to the beach. Probably not,
but we should check. Berto will be awake, I'm sure."
Kevin groaned and stretched in bed, trembling with the effort of
stretching every muscle and ligament in his body before
relaxing, crawling out and heading for
Cam went over to the crib. Casey's eyes were wide open, and when
he saw Cam's face he lifted his arms to be
"Hey, little dude. How are ya today?" Cam crooned to the little
guy as he reached down to feel his diaper. It was wet. Cam
picked the baby up and headed for the bassinet in the bathroom, meeting
Kevin on the way out.
"He needs a change?" Kevin asked.
"Yep. I'll do it, and you go see if the guys are awake."
"Okay," Kevin said, picking up his boxers off the floor and pulling
them on. He headed down the hall and tapped on Berto's door.
"Yeah," Berto said, and Kevin opened the door. Berto was already
in the bathroom.
"Grab your cock and put on a jock," Kevin said. "Let's hit the
"Give me two minutes."
"Yep," Kevin said, closing the bedroom door and going on down to the
hall to Carl and Andy's room. He tapped gently on the door and
opened it. The two guys were still in bed wrapped up with each
other, only partially covered by a twisted sheet and a blanket.
out Andy's bare ass, and it was a nice one. Perfectly shaped,
muscular at the same time, without a blemish on it.
"Hey, guys," Kevin said softly. "You gonna run?"
Carl's eyes opened, and he groaned. "Oh, Lord."
Kevin smiled. "Is that a yes or a no?"
Andy rolled on to his back, trying in vain to cover his crotch with the
sheet. The equipment between his legs was impressive, Kevin duly
"It's a yes," Andy grunted. "Can you give us five minutes?"
"No problem," Kevin said. "Meetcha downstairs."
Going back to their room, Kevin walked by Cam as he finished up with
Casey, slapping his partner on his bare ass as he went by.
"Ow!" Cam said by reflex. "That hurt!"
"Just making sure you're awake," Kevin said.
After they were dressed for their run, Cam carried Casey downstairs
"Andy and Berto arrived all right?" she asked.
"Yes," Cam said. "Their plane landed right on time.
They're just getting dressed."
"Do you boys want some breakfast?" Maria asked.
"Thanks," Cam said. "But we're gonna run first, if the guys get
down here. I just changed Casey, but he'd probably like some
food. Will you feed him?"
"You know I will," Maria said, holding out her arms. "Hey,
Casey," she said softly as she took him from Cam, kissing the little
boy's forehead. "How about
you, little guy? You ready to eat? Or do you want to to run
with your dads?"
Kevin and Cam laughed.
"It won't be that far off," Kevin said.
The little boy gurgled in response as Maria took him to his highchair
and settled him in. Berto bounced into the kitchen at that point,
followed by very tired versions of Carl and Andy. Berto went to
Maria and engulfed her in a hug, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"Maria!" Berto said. "How are ya? You're looking good!"
"You're a sweetheart, Berto," Maria said, kissing him back. "I'm
glad to see you."
"Same here," Berto said, stepping back to let Andy hug and kiss Maria
and exchange pleasantries.
"All right, uh, gentlemen, let's hit it!" Kevin said, substituting
"gentlemen" for "assholes" in the nick of time. "See you later,
"Laters," Maria said with a grin. "Isn't that what you boys say?"
"You're so with it!" Berto opined.
"Have to be," Maria said. "I have two boys at home that I'm
trying to stay ahead of."
The guys laughed and headed out on to the deck, where they did their
stretches. Cam released Alice and Samantha from their tethers
where Maria had secured them earlier, and they were ready to go.
The four boys and the two canines headed out to the beach on what was
an overcast morning, enjoying the warm breeze off the bay before
breaking into a run.
Kevin got them started at a good pace on the hardpack beside the
water. Andy and Carl, wearied by a night of lovemaking, looked a
little tired starting out, but soon perked up and kept up. They
didn't want to open themselves up to the ribbing from the other guys
that would inevitably come their way if they fell behind. The
dogs were in their glory, as usual, running circles around the boys as
they galloped in and out of the surf.
After the first mile, Cam, for only the second time since his night of
terror, scoped out the
where he had experienced such terrible pain and degradation. He
figured he might as well look at it again, because he knew he would be
the scene, inside and out, to his therapist starting Monday. He'd
been told by his mother that it
part of the process that would bring him healing.
But he was stunned by the remembrance of pain and humiliation that
his mind as he looked
again at the house. The recollection of that awful night was so
severe that he stumbled and fell to his
knees in the sand as everything went dark. He was
out like a
light with his face in the sand.
Frightened, Kevin stopped immediately and went down to his own knees in
partner. His panic was like a knife in his guts.
He turned Cam over and held him in his lap, gently
brushing the sand off his face. The other guys knelt around them,
"Cam!! Are you all right?" Kevin asked an unresponsive Cam, not
the boy's change in stride and collapse had anything to do with the
nearby house of horrors.
Cam started to wake up, but didn't try to stand right away. He
stared up into Kevin's handsome, familiar face as comprehension began
Kevin looked around and saw the house, and then it hit him what had
stopped Cam in his tracks. Bending down, he hugged Cam tightly
and kissed his head.
"The crime scene tape is gone," Kevin observed quietly to his partner,
a loss for what else to say.
"Kevin, I'm so fucked up," Cam said.
"Nothing we can't handle," Kevin said with a confidence he didn't
feel. "Do you want to go back home?" Kevin asked.
Cam shook his head and clambered to his feet with Kevin's help.
"No way!" he said as the other guys also stood up.
They all walked at first before resuming running slowly.
After a few minutes they reached their former
seemed no worse for wear.
At the now familiar three and a half-mile mark, Kevin turned the group
around and they headed home. As always, Alice and Samantha were
reluctant to head back, but when Carl whistled at
them, they wheeled around obediently and followed the boys back down
Kevin checked out Andy and Berto after they'd all turned around.
Neither of them seemed winded at all, so he figured that William was
still making the San Rafael contingent keep to their running
schedule. Kevin was amazed, given William's busy schedule, that
he had the time, and for that matter, the will to ride herd on all the
Kevin couldn't help admiring Andy's and Berto's
physiques. They were so good looking and perfectly
conditioned. Beautiful bodies. It was no wonder that
Berto's "mini-harem" at school were more than happy to have
sex with him, and that Carl was so hot for Andy.
Fortunately their good looks haven't
made either of them assholes, Kevin thought to himself. They're really great guys.
After they reached home, the runners did their cool-downs out on
the deck before going inside to shower. Carl filled up the dogs'
water dishes at a faucet there, and the two collies eagerly lapped up
the fresh water before being tied up again.
Cam saw Susan Miller come out next door on to her front deck to water
plants. He told Kevin he'd be back in a minute, and over his
partner's protests that he should go into the house and rest, went over
talk to her.
"'Morning, Mrs. Miller," he told her as he went up the steps.
"Cam!" the woman said. "It's good to see you. You boys have
been runnning, I see."
"Yes, m'am," Cam said. "We'd have Kevin on our case if
Susan Miller laughed. "Jeff is going to have to play catch-up
with his running when he comes home."
"That's probably true. Speaking of Jeff,
he called yesterday and said he
can have visitors now. He told me that
he's been using the gym
at Assurances regularly, but he may not have been using the
"I talked to him yesterday, too," Susan said, "and he told me the same
must be doing well. That makes me hopeful."
"Me, too. Listen, we're going to Mass tomorrow at St. Dunstan's,
go over to Assurances to see Jeff afterwards. Do you want to go
"Sean has been shooting a film in Manhattan, and he'll be home tonight
for a break. Thanks for the offer, but I see Berto and Andy are
here, so you'll have a full car for church. Sean and I will
separately to St. Dunstan's, and see you over at Assurances afterward."
"Sounds good," Cam said.
"Cam." Mrs. Miller looked intently at him.
"Thank you--and all you boys--for being such a good friend to
Jeff. And to Sean and me. I know that Jeff wouldn't be
making the progress he is without you and your family. We'll
never forget it. I just want you to know that." The woman
had tears in her eyes.
"Well..." Cam stammered, taken by surprise. Despite being sweaty
from his run, he stepped over to her and hugged her and kissed her on
Mrs. Miller reciprocated. "When do you start your therapy?" she
"We're always here for you," Susan Miller said simply. "I hope
you know that."
"Yes, m'am. I do." Cam looked at her and realized how fond
he was of her. "I think I better go shower. We'll look
forward to seeing you tomorrow."
"Good," Susan said. "After we see Jeff, Sean and I
to invite you all back here for lunch, if you can spare the
She smiled. "Sean doesn't know he wants to cook out yet, but
love the idea. Wear your swim suits when you come over, and use
Cam laughed about Sean not knowing he was going to cook lunch.
"Thanks. I'll talk to the guys, and call you."
"Thank you, Cam. See you tomorrow."
Cam went down the steps and loped back over to his house. Carl
and Andy had gone inside, but Kevin
was sweeping sand off the deck into the yard. Cam took the broom
out of his hands, letting it fall to the deck, and hugged Kevin to
himself, kissing him on the lips.
"'Sup, dude?" Kevin asked his partner.
"The usual lust for your bod, I'd have to say. But moving on,
Sean Miller will be home from New York tonight, and Mrs. Miller wants
us all to come over to their house for lunch tomorrow
after we see Jeff. She said we should wear our swimsuits
and have a swim. She's such a sweetheart!"
"That she is," Kevin said. "A quality she shares with you, you
cute little shit. I like that a lot."
The pair just stood there on the deck holding each other for a few
bathing in their love for each other and in the breeze off Santa Monica
bay. Kevin's concern for Cam's mental health still had his gut
churning, though. He didn't want to let go of him.
Cam eventually talked to Andy and Carl, and then called Susan Miller to
let her know their crew never turned down a free lunch and pool party.
* * *
Father John Ryan was in the narthex of St. Dunstan's on Sunday morning,
vested for Mass
and waiting for his thurifer, crucifer, torch bearers and servers to
join him from the sacristy for the procession to the altar. Cam,
Kevin, Carl, Berto,
and Andy, carrying Casey, came in.
"Gentlemen," the priest said quietly, "it's good to see you.
Berto, Andy, this is a pleasant surprise. When did you get in?"
"Friday night, Father," Berto said. "It's good to see you, too."
"Let's catch up at coffee hour," Ryan told them as the guys started to
walk on and enter the
nave. As Andy went by with Casey in his carrier, the priest
him momentarily, bent down and traced the sign of the cross on the
forehead before letting him proceed. That simple act moved
Andy. There is such love in
the world if you know where to look for it, he
thought to himself as they all found a vacant pew, reverenced the
altar, and then pulled down the kneelers to offer their initial
prayers. Andy offered
thanks for the good things in his life, especially for the love and
companionship of Carl. Andy didn't know it, but Carl was doing
the same when it came to him. As they sat back in the pew, Andy
locked eyes and smiled at each other.
Cam noticed Susan and Sean Miller sitting a few pews ahead of them,
sitting close to each other. A
good relationship there, Cam thought to himself. And they're sticking with their son as he
wrestles with his addictions. You can't ask for more than that
from your family.
The familiar Mass moved along smoothly through the Gospel
reading. Cam thought he was prescient when Father Ryan preached
on the importance of family in the Church, devoting a significant part
of his homily to "families of choice." He said that although we
should love and honor our families of blood relationships even when it
was difficult to do so, that equally
important and equally valid in God's eyes were our families of choice
which developed when blood relationships were were impossible or
nonexistent or inadequate, or when those blood families were augmented
circumstance. The boys looked at one another
surreptitiously when they realized what the priest was saying. He
was talking about exactly what they had with each other and with the
adults and young guys back in San Rafael. A family of
choice. A good family of choice. Their bond was much
more than just friendly feelings, or even friendship itself.
Families of choice were a love relationship blessed by God
Himself and by His Church,
Father Ryan told them.
Kevin reached over and held
Cam's hand before they stood for the
After receiving Communion and the final hymn was sung, the guys took
Casey, who was awake and
wanting out of his carrier, into the parish house. Cam released
him, and Andy held Casey's hands and put the little boy's shoes on top
of his own size 13's, and
started walking him stiffly around the big room. Members of the
congregation, talking as they drank coffee, stopped Andy's progress
they talked to the little boy. Andy and Casey passed by Father
Lisa, on their walk, and she stopped them, bending down to kiss Casey
his head. She straightened up and held out her hand to Andy,
"Hello. Casey I know, but I haven't met you, I don't think.
I'm Lisa, Father Ryan's wife."
Andy released one of Casey's hands to grasp hers.
"Hello, Mrs. Ryan. I'm Andy Helder, Carl Emrick's 'friend' from
San Rafael. I haven't been to church here since last summer."
"Hello, Andy," Lisa said. "I'm glad to meet you. I must
have missed meeting you the last time you were here. Are you
down here on vacation?"
"I'm just down here with Berto Hernandez for the weekend. He's
of our brothers in San
Rafael. Strictly speaking, we're here to see Cam.
And as a
bonus, I get to see Carl." Andy blushed a little, thinking
the nature of his relationship with Carl must seem pretty
obvious. Lisa didn't
pay any attention to the young man's red face.
"It's good to have you here, " Lisa said. "You know,
looking at Casey, I'd
say that he's not too far off from walking on his own pretty
soon. May I
pick him up?"
"Sure. He's kind of antsy, though..."
Lisa scooped him up, and Casey recognized a familiar face. He
began to talk some gibberish and reached out to
touch the woman's nose and face.
"Hi, sweetheart," Lisa crooned to the little boy, kissing his cheek,
and he squealed happily.
"He knows you, all right," Andy said.
"We're old pals," Lisa said. She looked around the room, and
spotted her husband, still wearing his black cassock, talking on the
side of the room with Cam, Kevin, Carl and another young man whom she
She nodded over toward the priest. "Is that Berto over there with
the family talking to my husband?" she asked Andy.
"That's the guy."
"Let's go over so I can meet him," Lisa suggested.
They moved through the crowd in that direction, Lisa still carrying
Casey in her arms.
"Casey looks pretty comfortable there," Father Ryan observed to his
wife with a smile as she and Andy approached.
"I love him to death," Lisa said, cuddling the little guy. "I
want to meet the other member of the family."
Kevin smiled and stepped up. "Mrs. Ryan, this is our brother
Berto Hernandez from San Rafael. He came down to spend some time
and Carl and me this weekend."
"Berto, it's a pleasure," Lisa said, offering her hand while keeping
Casey stable in her arms. "It's good to have you here
Berto beamed at her, his white teeth flashing as they shook
hands. "I'm glad to meet
you, Mrs. Ryan. Father Mason in San Rafael has mentioned your
times. It's good to be here."
The kid is suave, Cam thought
to himself. Soft spoken.
No wonder the
girls love him so much. And those of us who like good-looking
boys love him, too.
A door to the church school wing flew open at that point, and
youngsters began pouring into the parish hall to find their
parents. Samuel, Joshua and Rachel, the Ryans' three children,
came running up.
"Casey!" Rachel Ryan said, standing on her tiptoes to look at the baby
her mother's arms.
"Hey, Rach," Cam said. "Hi, guys!" he said to the boys.
The boys high-fived Cam, Kevin, and Carl, looking curiously at Andy and
"Andy and Berto," Cam said, "these guys are Samuel and Joshua
Ryan." He pointed at the boys in turn, and then at Rachel.
"And this is Rachel Ryan." The boys and then Rachel offered
their hands solemnly to Andy and Berto and shook with them.
"Nice to meet you," Andy and Berto said.
"Who are you?" Samuel demanded with no hesitation.
"We're two more of the brothers from San Rafael," Berto told him.
just down here for the weekend to see Cam and Kevin and Carl."
"That's good," Samuel Ryan said mischievously. "They need a lot
The family laughed.
"You're right about that," Berto said, liking
the kid immediately.
Sean and Susan Miller joined the group from the other side of the room,
shaking hand with Father and Mrs. Ryan and greeting Berto and Andy.
"Father, thank you for your homily today," Sean Miller said after
greeting everyone. "I couldn't help thinking about the boys over
at Alex's and John's house and up in San Rafael when you were talking
about 'families of choice.' I knew exactly what you were
Father Ryan nodded. "I think you and Susan and Jeff are all a
that family of choice now, unless I'm mistaken," he said.
"Right on," Kevin said, giving Sean and the priest a thumbs-up.
"Jeff mentioned when I talked with him on the telephone yesterday that
you had stopped by to see him at Assurances," Susan Miller said to the
"He really appreciated that. I hope you'll have a chance to see
him again sometime soon. We're going over to Assurances right now
visit him, and then Sean is going to cook out for all of us at
home. It's kind of short notice, but we'd love to have you and
Lisa and the kids join us as well for lunch and a swim."
Samuel, Joshua and Rachel looked pleadingly at their dad, who looked at
"That's so nice of you, Susan," Lisa said with a smile. "We'd
love to come. What can
"Nothing, thanks," Susan said. "I bought out the grocery store
yesterday. We'll see you at
our house. Why don't you come over about one o'clock, and we'll
have a visit. We should be back from Assurances by then."
The Ryan kids looked happy at the prospect of spending some time with
Cam's crew and getting to swim. After chatting for a few more
minutes, the Millers and Cam, Kevin, Carl, Andy and Berto took their
leave to go to the rehab facility.
Cam spotted a little sign in the yard at Assurances as they were
walking toward the front door from the parking lot. 'Keep off the
GRASS!' it said. "Good advice for a drug treatment facility like
this," Cam joked
with a grin.
Kevin groaned, throwing an arm around Cam's
neck and pulling him over to him, giving him a sideways hug. A
middle aged couple passed them walking in
the opposite direction. They saw the hug and pointedly looked
Kevin and Cam looked at each other and grinned.
The group visited Jeff in shifts, and everyone had
a great time talking to him. The boys discovered that a
sober Jeff had a great sense of humor. He, in turn, got a real
everybody and thinking about things other than addiction and
recovery. Sean and Susan Miller were elated to see their son
looking well and happy. They left first to go home and get set
up for the impromptu cookout and swim party.
The Ryans were just pulling into the driveway when the Millers got
home. Father and Mrs. Ryan pitched in to help the Millers and
Juanita, Maria Romero's sister, set up for lunch. Sean and
grabbed some beers
and then fired up the grills. The crew from next door arrived
from Assurances about a half-hour later and changed into their
swimsuits. Cam and Kevin had just stripped off their church
clothes in their bedroom when Kevin walked over to Cam and grabbed him
soft cock in Cam's crack, rubbing his partner's chest and then letting
hand drift down to cup
Cam's crotch. Cam started to get hard.
"I gotta get me some more of this bad boy later," Kevin said into his
partner's ear, giving
equipment a stroke and then circling the cockhead gently with his thumb.
"You don't know how glad I am you have a one-track mind," Cam said,
exhaling a huge breath and reaching
behind him to grab Kevin's ass with both hands, pulling him tighter
against his butt. "Definitely the sooner that happens, the
You're a Horndog with a capital 'H!' And that's just the way I
* * *
The Millers' swim party was a great success. Sean cooked salmon
steaks and tilapia, served with baked potatoes and sour cream, a green
and with chocolate and butter pecan ice cream for dessert. Even
though recent medical opinion said there was no danger in swimming
right after eating, Lisa Ryan made her kids wait for twenty minutes
before going into the pool. Just to back her up, the older boys
Father Ryan waited for twenty minutes, too, using the time to help
their hosts pick up the dishes and take them into the kitchen for
Juanita to put into the dishwasher.
Before diving into the water, Carl and Andy got a net out of the
Millers' garage and affixed it across the middle of the pool. To
keep things fair, Cam, Carl and Andy asked Rachel to play on their team
in the deeper end, and Kevin, Fr. John, Lisa, Samuel and Josh Ryan were
on the opposing team in the shallows. The Millers refereed.
Despite predictions to the contrary, the Ryans' team kicked ass and won
the first game. Cam's team roared back and won in the second
game, and that's where they left things. After the game, the
younger set, pleasantly tired out, all put on sunscreen and basked in
the warm sunshine on the deck until the pool finally was plunged into
as the sun moved west.
The adults sat at some distance near the back wall of the house.
Sean told them a little about the latest movie he was making, Father
about St. Dunstan's, which was experiencing considerable growth, and
then, more quietly, they all talked about Jeff's progress at Assurances
and Cam's impending therapy. Casey slept soundly in his carrier
in the midst of it all,
Cam looked around at the Ryan kids. He was always pumped to be
around these youngsters. Like any any kids their ages, they were
uninhibited and unpredictable, full of honesty and fun and
chatter. Young Samuel was a great foil for the older boys,
holding his own very well when it came to repartee. Berto had
taken a shine to the kid, and in addition to the verbal jousting, had
engaged the Ryan's older boy in talking about his school subjects and
what he thought might do with his lifet. Samuel thought he might
like to be a physician, and Berto encouraged him to continue to think
During the final hour of their stay, all the young guys and Rachel
played "Go Fish" at one
of picnic tables, with young Joshua Ryan showing an aptitude for
cards. He was the big winner.
"You were counting cards," Andy told the boy.
"What's 'counting cards?'" Josh asked.
"That's where you keep track in your mind what cards have been played
your strategy around the cards that haven't come up yet. In
Vegas, if they thought you were doing that, they'd rough you up and
throw you out of the casino bodily,"
"How can they prove it?" Josh demanded.
"They don't have to," Andy said. "Their motto is, 'Never give a
sucker an even break.'"
"I'd sue," Josh said. "Berto would represent me."
"It could be worth millions," Berto said, laughing. "Don't forget
the lawyer takes a third of the award."
"Hmm," Josh mused. "Maybe I'd have to shop around, then.
Maybe Mr. Carson would take my case."
"Well, you couldn't do better than Ian," Berto said. "Your family
are friends, so he might even do it for free."
"Now wait a minute," Carl said, laughing. "Let's not go
overboard! William and Mark need their spending money."
Just then Father Ryan walked over the card players. "Time to go,
kids. You have homework. Get your stuff. Say thanks
to the Millers, and let's head out."
There were the usual protests, but to no avail. The Ryan kids and
their parents made their manners to Sean and Susan Miller, said
good-bye to the boys, and were
soon on the road.
Cam, Kevin, Carl and Andy took down the pool net and stowed it back in
the garage, and then put the tables and chairs back where they
belonged. The patio around the pool looked perfect when they were
"Thanks, guys," Sean Miller said as he and Susan stood up to say
The boys thanked their hosts with handshakes for Sean and kisses for
Susan, and Sean wished Cam well as he began therapy the next day.
Cam was surprised when Sean pulled him into a hug after shaking his
"Stay in touch," Sean told him. "We're only a phone call away."
"I appreciate that," Cam said. He kissed Mrs. Miller, and walked
over to the back door, and shouted their thanks to Juanita. She
came to the door and hugged and kissed him, waving at the other boys
before going back to work.
The guys wandered back across the sand to Alex's feeling at loose ends,
so they did a few exercises in the gym, and watched some TV.
Later that evening
Carl, Cam and Kevin took Berto and Andy to the
airport for their trip back to San Rafael. The departees were
sad, each for his own reasons--Berto because he wished he could be in
L.A. to offer support when Cam started therapy, and Andy because
Carl was like tearing his heart out.
Cam and Kevin talked quietly on the way home in the truck, but Carl
didn't say a word.
The three of them stood in the kitchen with Casey in his carrier for a
turning off the lights, setting the alarm and heading upstairs for bed.
"What time is your appointment with the doctor tomorrow?" Carl asked
"Well..." Carl stepped over to Cam and, pulling him into his
arms, gave him a long, tight hug, kissing his cheek before letting him
go. That said everything he wanted and needed to say to his
brother and friend.
And then the telephone began ringing.
* * *
L.A. District Attorney Jim Nolan strode into his office right on the
stroke of nine o'clock on Monday morning. As usual, he was
nattily attired in an Armani suit, this day with a powder blue shirt
and a red power tie. Black, shined shoes and black socks.
He was the epitome of a man on the way up the political ladder.
Waiting for him at the small conference room table at the side of his
large office were four ADA's: Nolan's chief deputy and three
heads--criminal, civil, and anti-gang. Nolan sat down at the head
of the table, picked up a printed agenda of pending court cases left
review at his place, and the meeting commenced.
Nolan interrupted the flow of business only once, during the criminal
chief's discussion of L.A. County v.
Eric Clymer, Peter Murtha and Rory Lomer for kidnapping,
aggravated sexual assault, and a host of other charges.
"We have a potential break in this case," the criminal chief told
Nolan. "The accused were in County after being denied bail, and
Rory Lomer was allegedly raped during his first night in custody.
rape kit showed semen. Lomer opted for solitary while the
Sheriff's Department carries out its usual thorough
investigation." The ADA smiled. "Anyway, we think Lomer is
our best bet to have one of these turds to roll over on his
buddies. I've instructed Aaron Petrie to get his ass over to
the jail this morning with the arresting Sheriff's detectives and start
questioning this kid. I assume you're willing to make it
worthwhile for Lomer to roll?"
"Fuckin' A!" Nolan said. "Now isn't that an appropriate
expression in a case of male rape?" He
paused, pleased with his own wit. "Anyway, I
don't want Alex MacKenzie's kid to have to testify in court unless it's
absolutely necessary. I want a goddamn conviction in this case,
though, or the whole arts community will be on my ass!"
© 2011 Don Hanratty
Readers: All the best for a great 2011 !