My Belovèd is mine, and I am his.
Song of Songs 2:16
Andy Helder drove over to Catherine's house
San Rafael on Friday afternoon after his last class at St.
Francis. He and
Catherine put their carry-on luggage
along with Dan Emrick's bag into the massive trunk of her aging
Then they drove to San Rafael High to pick up Dan Emrick after
He was waiting for them at the main entrance of the high school when
Dan gave the leather back seat a quick look before sitting down to make
that William and Berto hadn't left any stains there from their various
carnal activities with the girls they'd been dating. He was
pleased to note there were no tell-tale signs.
"Hi, sweetheart," Catherine greeted Dan.
"Hey, Mom," he responded. "Thanks for picking me up."
Catherine and Mary Carson had come to share the title of "mom" when it
came to the
"Dude!" Andy said, turning in the front passenger seat and bumping
fists with the new arrival.
"Hey, man," Dan said. "Does Carl know you're coming?"
"Does William have fleas?" Andy shot back, making Dan chuckle.
"I don't know how all you boys get along so well the way you talk about
each other," Catherine observed.
"Well, we never tell anyone the truth to his face," Dan said.
"That helps keep things civil."
Catherine laughed out loud. She looked over at Andy in the front
passenger seat, and then at
Dan in her rear-view mirror. They were each wearing board shorts
and sandals, along with form-fitting
T's that showed off their musculature.
"You know, you boys look so handsome," Catherine told them.
"You've obviously been following your exercise regimen, and it really
"Thanks, Dr. M.," Andy said at the same time Dan said, "Thanks, Mom."
Dan leaned forward, arms on the back of Andy's seat as Catherine headed
for the freeway. "That Berto
has no mercy in the gym, y'know," Dan told Catherine. "He's worse
than William was before William started playing football and Berto took
over our exercise program. Even Andy doesn't escape when he's
over at the house for a
visit." He hit Andy on the shoulder. "'Course Andy's
always been buff. That's what Carl says, and he's right.
But still, the martial arts and weight training have really paid off
Andy blushed. "Well..."
"It is what it is, dude," Dan said, grinning and sitting back in his
seat. He always liked paying Andy compliments because he deserved
them, but also because his pal frequently got so flustered.
Catherine smiled. I do love
these boys, she thought to herself. They're not perfect, but they're pretty
darn close. Entering the freeway, she swung the wheel and
headed for the Golden
Gate Bridge and
San Francisco International Airport. The traffic was light until
they crossed the bridge and hit the beginning of rush hour traffic
Andy and Dan started talking sports and Catherine's thoughts drifted
into thinking about the purpose of her trip to L.A. She was going
to talk to Carl, Kevin and Cam about her new job at Stanford starting
fall and her move
to the Carsons' condo in San Francisco to shorten her commute to
school. She was pretty sure that none of the boys in San Rafael
had leaked her future plans to them. She'd have had some feedback
already if they had. If the reaction of the San
Rafael crew was any guide, everybody was going to be pleased about the
new arrangements. Or at least accepting of them. The San
Rafael house wouldn't be sold, and that seemed to please
everyone. Including Catherine.
The last few miles to the airport were slow going, but they still had
plenty of time before their plane took off for LA. They parked
shifting their luggage to a commuter bus, and made it to the terminal
in time to have an early supper at a little restaurant in their
Andy pulled out money to pay for his meal when they were ready to
leave, but Catherine wouldn't let him.
"When the family goes out, the adult picks up the tab," she told Andy
as she paid the bill.
"I appreciate it, Dr. M.," Andy said, stuffing his money back into his
pocket. Being including as part of "the family" made him feel
Picking up up their carry-on bags, they went through security
and then on down to their gate.
When the plane was ready, they boarded and found three seats
together. Andy took the window, Dan the middle, and Catherine
took the aisle seat. They buckled up and were airborne before
"Mom, do you know exactly when you're moving to San Francisco?" Dan
Catherine after things on the plane settled down.
"I haven't even thought about it yet," Catherine said. "I'm not
even sure when orientation for new staff at Stanford is scheduled."
"Won't you be lonesome with nobody else in the apartment?" he asked.
"To be honest, I probably will, especially at first," Catherine
admitted. "But Yolanda may come into town with me, and possibly
the year after next, William will live in the condo too when and if he
freshman year at Stanford. I think that's what he's talking about
"Will you come out to the house anymore?" Andy asked.
"Yes, I will. You don't think I can go cold turkey when it comes
to seeing you boys, do you?"
The guys smiled.
"Actually, this will be kind of cool," Dan said with a grin.
"We'll have one
place to go in San Francisco and one in L.A., and then a country
retreat in San Rafael where we can recover from urban life."
Andy nodded in agreement, and then slumped down in his seat against the
as if he were going to take a nap. He didn't go to sleep right
away, though. He looked sideways and down at Dan's crotch in his
shorts. Andy knew from naked swimming with the guys in Dr. M.'s
pool that Dan was hung every bit as well as his brother Carl
was. Nice package. Because he was younger, Dan's body
wasn't as muscular yet as Carl's, but he was well on the way.
Andy's thoughts turned to Carl. No
one could ask for a better boyfriend, he thought to
himself. Carl's physique
is fucking perfect, as anyone who looks at him can see, and that's a real turn-on. But
that's just what you can see with your eyes. It's his whole
personality--his toughness, his sense of humor, his kind and loving
nature, his ability to commit with his whole heart to his family and,
yes, to me--that's what makes him great. It's what makes me
miss him like crazy when I'm not with him. He owns me, and I've
never been happier about anything in my life.
The young man let his thoughts drift to sex. He and Carl
loved each other totally, and they demonstrated that every time they
went to bed. There were no limits.
of them was willing to do whatever the other wanted in bed as often as
the other wanted it. No surprise there. That was the bottom
line. After a weekend
with Carl, Andy never left for San Rafael without feeling totally, physically drained as well
as having had his mental and emotional needs fully met. After
Andy's long week of separation from the young man he loved so much
would begin all over again. Andy rarely masturbated anymore,
denying himself in order to be fully primed for Carl when they hungrily
stripped each other's clothes off and fell into bed in Malibu.
At that point Andy's crotch was feeling tight
from an erection with nowhere to go. He folded his big hands in
lap to disguise his condition.
Andy's papers requesting a transfer to UCLA were already filed with
school admissions, and his grades were so good thus far that there was
doubt that he would be living full time in Malibu beginning the
following fall. Living there with Carl's hands all over his body
and his own on Carl. And holding each other contentedly after
Andy drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face, fantasizing about
lying between Carl's legs, licking his nipples and then moving down to
kiss his abs, and then going down further to his package...
Meanwhile, Catherine turned her head and looked at Dan. "You
know, I wasn't
kidding when I said you guys are all looking so good from your exercise
program. Especially you, Dan. You're one handsome young
man. I think the boys in Malibu are going to notice how toned
you are when they see you this time."
"Well..." Dan blushed, and looked Catherine in the eye. "If
that's true, I'm not alone. You're looking really great yourself,
Mom. Your running has really paid off."
"Thank you, Dan," Catherine said, pleased.
"How are you, Mom?" Dan asked. "Us guys just kind of roll along
and never ask you and Ian and Mary how you're feeling about
all take such good care of us. So we should ask every now and
then." He paused and swallowed. "We appreciate you."
Catherine leaned over and kissed Dan on the side of his head.
"I'm feeling really good about things, sweetheart. Thanks for
asking. I'm feeling good about my new job, and I'm feeling
good about our family staying together even though I'll be living in
San Francisco some of the time, and I feel really good about all you
boys. I'm proud of you all. I hope you know that.
You're all making good grades, and you all get along with each other,
and you pay attention to Ian and Mary and me when we ask any of you to
do something for us--at least I think you do--and there's no drinking
drugging going on." She smiled. "Not that we know of,
anyway. So the adults in your life all admire you and
are thankful for every one of you. We don't tell you that often
I don't think."
Dan blushed with pleasure at the compliment. "Thanks," he
said. "Are you happy about
leaving St. Francis?" he asked.
"I have mixed emotions about it," Catherine admitted. "I love the
university, and I've enjoyed my time there a great deal. But
are some changes coming up there that could make things difficult for
me to stay."
Catherine hesitated about being too frank about the challenges she
would have been facing at St. Francis had she wanted to stay.
But Dan sounded interested
deserved an honest answer.
"I'm going to tell you the truth about my situation there," she said,
"but I'd like to ask you to keep it between you and me."
"I can do that."
"I don't know whether you've noticed or not, but I'm pretty much of a
free thinker about things."
Dan laughed. "No kidding! Everybody who knows you knows
"I've been pretty outspoken on the campus, especially concerning what I
see as the failings of the Roman Catholic church. St. Francis is
partially under the
jurisdiction of the Archbishop of San Francisco, and the current
archbishop has demanded not once, but several times, that I be fired
for taking positions which don't agree with the teaching of the Roman
"Can they do that?"
"Technically, no. I'm a tenured professor, and I don't teach
theology, a subject area in which the local bishop does have a lot to
about who's teaching and what's being taught. But the powers that
be can make things pretty miserable for any professor they want to get
rid of. I was feeling a little vulnerable because Father Reilly,
the current president and a good friend, is being reassigned to another
post by the
Jesuits next year, and the search has already begun for a new
president. Whoever sits in the president's chair next year may be
a little more compliant with what the archbishop wants."
"What good is tenure if it doesn't protect you?" Dan asked.
"Any school that doesn't have good academic or moral grounds for firing
professor can get in serious trouble with the national academic
accrediting bodies. That's where the protection comes in,
although sometimes school administrators are willing to risk that to
get rid of
someone. But all that aside, I'm really ready to move on."
"I've had a lot of national exposure because of my work in English
literature, and I think
I'm ready to move to a larger campus at this point in my career.
I guess a lot of the top ranked schools, including Stanford, liked my
résumé when I did my job search. I received
positive offers, or at least a serious green light for further
contacts and negotiations, from all the schools I wrote to.
One of the major
reasons I chose to move on to Stanford was because I'd still be near
Dan looked at her. "And don't think we don't appreciate
that." He paused. "None of us wants to lose you, Mom.
We need you. Us younger guys really need you to talk to about
things. We all love you and are thankful for everything you've
us. Especially for Carl and me, taking us into your home when the
Carsons moved in."
Catherine teared up as she thought about the tough times Dan, and Carl
especially, had lived through losing their mother and then, under
tragic circumstances, their murderous wretch of a father. And
Carl having been physically abused by his dad
She and Dan sat side by side silently for a moment. "I need all
of you guys too, believe me," she responded to what
Dan had said.
Then they began to talk about the Malibu branch of the
family. Cam and his steady recovery from being assaulted came in
for a lot of
When they were talked out, Dan took a quick nap before the plane
landed, his head finally coming to rest on Catherine's shoulder, the
healthy smell of his hair making Catherine smile. Their
conversation had left Catherine feeling even more
positive about the family and about the boys she was helping to raise
* * *
Cam and Kevin had stayed home rather than going to LAX with Carl
so they could spend a few minutes with
putting him to bed, and then work on class assignments which would
Monday. They wanted to be free all weekend to spend as much time
Catherine, Dan and Andy. Jeff, too--he'd be on leave from
According to the baby monitor in the den, there hadn't been a peep out
they'd bathed him and put him down in their bedroom for the night.
Cam finished up his cinematography homework in about thirty minutes,
and closed his text
and notebook. He and Kevin were sitting in the den after Carl had
across the room at his partner on the big leather couch. Kevin
was still engrossed in his physics assignment, and Cam just sat there
Kevin's body and legs were perfect, his face,
handsome. No, Cam
thought, his face is actually beautiful. So masculine and beautiful.
His five o'clock shadow looks so
and virile. Cam loved that boy so much his chest
hurt. He loved the mixture of toughness and kindness and
affection Kevin bestowed on everyone. He's brave and loving, and he's
good. And then there was the out and out lust Cam felt
for his partner. Right now Cam longed to
get Kevin into bed as soon as he possibly could, guests or no guests.
Kevin looked up and smiled at his partner across the room, noting Cam's
package between widespread legs. Their eyes locked.
"You're boned, dude!" Kevin said.
"Tell me something I don't know," Cam said. "You fucking do that
to me when I look at you."
Kevin put down his books on the couch and went over to the chair where
sitting. He knelt between Cam's legs and put his face in his
crotch and breathed deeply. Pulling back after half a dozen
breaths, Kevin looked at his watch.
"Do we have time?" he asked.
"We'll make time."
Cam raised his butt off the chair as Kevin grasped Cam's board
shorts and boxers at his waist, and pulled them down and off his
partner's legs. Cam's erection slapped up against his T-shirt,
which Cam then pulled off over his head.
"Your dick is so perfect you could be a cock model," Kevin opined as he
took his boy's erect appendage into his hand, bending it down toward
inspection, Kevin dove down on it all the way, causing Cam to moan and
sit up straighter in his chair and open his legs even wider.
Successfully suppressing his gag reflex as he slowly bobbed up and
down, Kevin tasted his lover's sweet pre-cum almost immediately.
continued to fellate Cam at a slow pace over the next five minutes,
fondling his balls in one hand while gently stroking his dick with the
other as he sucked.
At one point, Kevin stopped, pulled off, and
using his thumb and
forefinger, pushed down gently on Cam's cockhead, spreading open the
slit. He used his tongue as a wedge, entering the shallow crevice
times before returning to fellate Cam more vigorously, taking him all
the way down to the root each time before coming back off and then
"Oh shit, Kevin!!!" Cam squeaked out as the full
effect of an expert
cocksucker continued to
make itself known as the minutes passed. His balls began to pull
up into his groin
as Cam repeatedly made noises that let Kevin know how much he was
enjoying what he was doing. Eventually, of course, Kevin took Cam
beyond the point of no return.
"Ohhhhhh, fuck!! Here it comes!!" Cam announced.
Despite his best efforts to
make the tension last, he began to unload into Kevin's
sooner begun to shoot than Kevin pulled back to take the cum
in his mouth rather than down his throat. He wanted to taste
every drop, and there was a lot to
work with. He swallowed rapidly each time
filled. Cam shot a good seven times
before crumpling back in
chair with his eyes closed. His head fell forward and rested on
top of Kevin's head.
After holding Cam's dick in his mouth without moving for a minute,
Kevin began to run his tongue down its length and then around and
around the head of it,
cleaning him up until Cam pushed him away because his cockhead had
become too sensitive to be touched. Kevin pulled off the dick he
loved so much and stood up, bending down to
his partner's mouth with his tongue, sharing the wealth of Cam's
ejaculate in a big,
juicy, long-lasting kiss.
"You are so fucking bold sometimes I can't believe it!" Cam laughed
about the whole encounter when Kevin finally broke the kiss.
"Aren't ya glad?"
Cam picked up his shorts and his boxers and T-shirt off the floor, and
with Cam naked
as a jaybird, they went upstairs to shower. After
checking quickly on Casey, they entered the shower, holding each other
"I love ya, Kevin," Cam said, holding him and resting his head on
Kevin's shoulder as the hot water pelted their bodies.
"You don't know how much I love ya back," Kevin said, kissing Cam's
Kevin was still half hard from what they'd done downstairs, and Cam
partner's dick a stroke. "Now or later?" he asked, running a
thumb over the head of Kevin's cock.
"Later," Kevin said, grinning in anticipation. "In bed."
"You got it!" Cam promised.
Casey slumbered on as the two of them dressed and then hovered lovingly
cradle for a minute, watching him sleep. Eventually they went
to wait for Carl and their visitors.
* * *
Carl had taken the Highlander and parked farther out than usual because
there was no room in short-term parking at LAX. He caught a handy
commuter bus and walked into the arrivals area to wait for
Rafaelites. His heart jumped when he saw Andy coming
down an escalator with Dan and Catherine.
Carl swept Catherine into his arms first and held her for a long time
kissed her, noting how trim and healthy she looked. Then he moved
on to Dan
and Andy, both of whom looked buff as hell. Totally
unembarrassed, he hugged them and kissed them on the cheek before
letting them go. Oblivious to the crowds of people who were
oblivious to him, he went back to Andy and hugged and kissed the tall
again, this time on the lips.
"Dayum!" Carl said after
finally separating from Andy's embrace. "You
guys look great! You too, Mom. Cam and Kevin are going to
be so excited to see you! Jeff Miller, too, by the way. Cam
picking him up tomorrow morning so he can stay the weekend with us."
Dan smiled broadly. "Sounds like party time, dude!" he
said. He looked at Catherine. "Within reason, of course,"
he added. "I'm so ready!"
They didn't have to wait for luggage, so the new arrivals grabbed their
carry-ons and headed for a bus out to the parking lot. There was
a bus waiting for them at the curb, and ten minutes
later they were
at the Highlander
putting their luggage in the back.
Catherine took the passenger seat, and Dan and Andy the second row
"How was your flight?" Carl asked.
"No problems," Dan said. "Other than having to sit next to Andy."
"Humph!" Andy snorted. "It was grim for me. I don't think
Dan showered after gym."
He put an around Dan's neck and squeezed it, then let him go.
Traffic was still heavy around LAX, so it was 45 minutes before Carl
the driveway. The floodlights came on, and Kevin and Cam burst
the back door a minute later. The two boys looked good, Catherine
noted, especially pleased to see Cam moving vigorously and confidently,
more like his old self.
"Mommy!" Cam said, joyfully sweeping Catherine into his arms and
kissing her face. "I've missed you so much!"
"You know I've missed you!" Catherine said, kissing her son back
Kevin had hugged and kissed Dan and Andy, and now waited impatiently
for Cam to turn Catherine loose. When he finally did, Kevin
hugged the woman who had always treated him like her son and stood by
him when he had needed an adult in his corner. He swung her
around gently in a circle as he kissed her. He teared up a
little, saying only, "Mom! Thanks for coming down."
Carl looked at Cam and Kevin, smirking but saying nothing. He
could see that their crewcuts were damp, and that could mean only one
thing. Those horndogs!
They'd had SEX, and then showered! No wonder they didn't go to
the airport. Well, good for them, he
thought to himself. Why
not? He looked at Andy's body, knowing full well that
they'd be doing the same thing before very long.
The guys grabbed the bags out of the Highlander, Cam carrying
Catherine's bag and computer, and they carried everything into the
house and upstairs. Cam helped Catherine get
settled, and then they went into his and Kevin's bedroom to see Casey
going back downstairs to the den to wait for everybody
to get together. Carl and Andy were the last to rejoin the group,
having spent several extra minutes in Carl's bedroom hugging and
kissing and loving
each other up.
Cam and Kevin grinned ear to ear when the two boys finally reappeared
in the den looking a little disheveled.
Catherine saw the big smiles from her sons, and asked, "What?"
"It's just nice to see Carl and Andy back together again," Kevin
Cam chuckled, and Carl looked at him warningly.
Catherine knew there were some things she'd never know. Not for
first time she thought someone should write a book or an article
entitled "The Secret Life of Boys." For the most part, adults
lived in ignorance about what was going on their children's
lives. And all things considered, that usually wasn't such a bad
She changed the subject and began questioning the three Malibu boys
about school. She was relieved to hear Cam talk enthusiastically
Cinematography class. He seemed to be on top of it. And he
seemed to be in an upbeat mood, and that made her feel good. She
waited to discuss how his therapy with Dr. Owens was going, wanting to
do that privately at some point before she left to go back to San
They all talked for an hour about what was going on in the family
when Carl and Andy began yawning, and then excused themselves to go to
"Sleep tight, boys!" Kevin said with a gleam in his eye as they left.
"Thanks so much," Carl told him. "You too."
Now that little exchange
Catherine understood, and she smiled to herself.
* * *
Ian Carson's secretary, Bev, buzzed him at 5 p.m., shortly before Ian
was ready to make an early departure from the office. It was
Friday night, and he wanted to make it home in time for him and Mary to
eat and get to William's football game. It was a home game, and
William was starting as quarterback for the varsity.
Bev told him that a Mr. David McCaskill, who said he was the father of
William's female classmates at San Rafael High, wanted a word with him
on the phone. Ian didn't know the man and for some reason felt a
little uneasy, but he took the call.
"Mr. McCaskill," he said in a calm voice, "Ian Carson speaking."
"Good afternoon, Mr. Carson. I'll come right to the point.
You and I need to talk face to face. It's come to my attention
that my daughter Anita has been having sexual relations with your son
William. Needless to say, Anita's mother and I are very upset
about this. In fact, my wife is heartbroken about it." The
man didn't sound emotional about the matter, but Ian could sense he was.
"I'm stunned," Ian said. "If it's true, I'm very upset about this
as well." He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but as was
his habit, wanted to face the problem head-on, and immediately.
"When will it be convenient for us to meet?"
"What about tomorrow morning at the Denny's near the high school.
Say 11 a.m.?"
That's fine. Do you want our wives or the kids present?"
"Why don't you and I talk first. We can meet subsequently with
our wives and the children if we need to. At some point down the
road I will
want to meet
William and look him in the eye and tell him what I think
"I'll see you at 11 a.m. at Denny's, Mr. McCaskill," Ian said. He
knew there was no excuse for William's conduct if what McCaskill said
was true. But he--Ian--might well
want to look Anita McCaskill in the eye and avail himself of the same
option. Despite the temptation, he wouldn't do that, but still...
McCaskill hung up without another word, and Ian buzzed Bev and let her
go home before gently placing the receiver back in its cradle. Oh, William, what have you done! Ian
thought to himself. Then he sat at his desk with his elbows on
his desk, head in his
hands for the next few minutes, praying.
Please, Lord, don't let this girl be pregnant... He moved
from prayer into a reverie about McCaskill's call.
Ian finally roused himself from his dark thoughts and his fears,
locked his desk, and made his way out of the law firm's offices.
Most of the younger associates were still looking busy at their
desks. He remembered well the killer workload he carried as a
young attorney, and was glad those days were behind him. On the other hand, a heavy workload might
be preferable to what he and Mary might have to face when it came to
dealing with William's sex life.
Climbing into his car, he exited the garage and made his way to
the Golden Gate and back to San Rafael. He was actually grateful
that the traffic was moving slowly. It gave him a little more
time to think about how he and Mary could approach this new problem
William. By the time he pulled into the driveway at home, he had
decided to say nothing to either of them before the football game that
evening. He didn't want to put William off his game as
quarterback, and knew the boy would probably have a date after the
game. When didn't he have a
date on a
Friday night? Ian thought to himself a little bitterly.
After he and Mary went home from the game, he would fill her in about
telephone call he'd received from McCaskill. She might well help
develop a plan to address the issue. She'd always been a great
partner when it came to raising and disciplining the kids.
After supper, as usual, the whole family except for absentees
Catherine, Dan and
Andy, went to the game. It was to be played on San Rafael's home
turf. William never ate before a game, and left the house early,
Mary's little Mercedes convertible to get to the school because
Catherine had driven the Lincoln to the airport. He'd use the car
for his date after the game. The quarters would be too tight in
the Mercedes when it
came to getting laid, William knew. But there was a blanket in
trunk to spread on the ground, and when it came
time to get some after they
ate supper, he planned to drive out to a little
park that was usually deserted. He'd had this girl several times
and she liked to fuck as
much as William did. William smiled when he anticipated his
after game activities.
William had noticed that his father didn't seem to be himself that
evening at supper,
but didn't think much about it. He himself was mentally primed
game, and as physically fit as he had ever been. The opponents
were a tough team, undefeated, but William and the coach had developed
what they believed would be a winning strategy to whip their asses.
The locker room was quiet at first, as always, full of teen age jocks
thinking about what lay ahead as they stripped off their street clothes
began to put on
their protective gear and their uniforms. Then came the process
of getting psyched for the game. As he always did, William walked
around having a word with all the players, especially with the
offensive linesmen who saved his ass from getting creamed on play after
play, gradually getting everybody all worked up. By the time they
hit the field, the San Rafael team was READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!
Long story short, San Rafael pushed their opponents all over the field
and handed them their first defeat, 28-17. William had thrown the
passes that resulted in San Rafael's four touchdowns, and the game ball
was his. Now the locker room was pure chaos, full of happy young
jocks exuberantly stripping, showering and then snapping one another
with wet towels before they got dressed. Once again William made
the rounds after he dressed, passing out compliments to the team
members who had made especially good plays. The San Rafael guys
had been fucking animals out on the field, and William loved them for
The coach would never tell William this, but he thought the boy was the
best team leader he had ever encountered in his years of coaching, bar
none, and particularly for a junior. Physical skills and people
skills were a winning combination for this kid.
William, flanked by his date for the evening, Joanne French, received
the congratulations of his whole family in the parking lot for playing
a great game. Once again, Ian seemed a little more reserved than
usual, but the boy didn't dwell on it.
They parted company, and William and Joanne, a blonde and
curvaceous cutie, climbed into the Mercedes and headed for the
restaurant they had agreed upon for a late supper. The meal was
excellent, and as he always did, William carried on a lively
conversation that made his date think she was the most important person
in the world. And for the moment, she was.
After supper, they were off to the park. As William had
hoped, the place was deserted, with nary another car in the parking
lot. He parked the car and they sat there making out for a few
minutes before Joanne disengaged and opened her door. She liked
dick, and was ready for this particular dick, which she liked much more
than the few
others she had experienced. William grinned as he got out of the
car and went to the
trunk, retrieving the thick blanket that lay there.
They walked arm in arm to a spot hidden in the trees, and the two of
them spread the blanket and sat down. Lying down, they began to
make out again. William and Joanne began to deep kiss each other,
their mouths open with thrusting tongues. William kissed
her up and down her neck and moved down to her cleavage as things
heated up, and they soon began removing each other's clothes.
they were naked, William again had his face between the girl's
beautiful breasts, using his fingers and his tongue on her until her
hardened. Then he moved his head down between her legs, smelling
and stimulating her clitoris with his tongue. Before they
embarked on the final act, though, Joanne went down on William,
expertly taking his hardness into her mouth, further stimulating him
and tasting his pre-cum.
Eventually he rolled a condom on to his erection, knowing from
experience to leave plenty of room in the reservoir for his seed.
He worked his way slowly into Joanne, lying flat on the girl for
several moments as they kissed hungrily before beginning the final act
of the dance of love.
Whenever one of them got close, they slowed their movements to preserve
the moment. Orgasm, when it finally came, started deep within the
girl and swept William up in its intensity. They came
simultaneously, both of them gasping loudly, calling out into the
surrounding them as they achieved the ultimate oneness.
They lay unmoving for a good five minutes, William lying on top of
kissing his partner's face before rolling off of her and quickly,
greedily filling his lungs with air. William removed the
jizz-filled condom, tying it off and putting it down on the grass away
from the blanket. Then the two of them held hands
and looked at one another under a starry sky as they recovered from
the most human of experiences.
"You're the best," William whispered to her. And that pretty much
reflected his feelings. They'd made a real connection, and not
He didn't tell Joanne he loved her. But it was pretty close to
being true. Right at that moment, anyway.
* * *
William was surprised to find his mother and father still up watching
TV in the den when he arrived home shortly after one a.m. He went
into the room to say hello, thinking he might garner a few more
the good game he'd played that night.
That didn't happen.
Ian gestured for William to sit down. His mother looked as if
she'd been crying. William eyed his father, wondering what was up.
"I received a call from a Mr. David McCaskill at the office before I
home from work," Ian said.
William's handsome face went white. This couldn't be good.
Anita McCaskill well. Better than well. He tried to compose
himself, and put what he hoped was an inquiring rather than guilty look
on his face.
"Mr. McCaskill said that you and his daughter Anita have been having
sexual intercourse. Is that true?" Ian asked.
For a split second, William thought about lying. It was foreign
to his nature, though, and after swallowing, he looked at the floor and
The room went silent as Ian and Mary stared at their son.
"Thank you for telling the truth, William," Mary said.
"When did this start?" Ian asked.
"Right after school opened this year," William said, his stomach
"How many?" Ian asked.
"Don't play dumb," Ian said. "How many girls have there been?"
William couldn't look at his parents.
"I don't know," he said. "I'm not sure." He looked up at
his parents. "A lot."
"You damn well better give me a number," Ian said, raising his voice
for the first time. He never did that, and it scared William.
"I honestly don't know exactly how many," William said, his voice
breaking, betraying the tension he was now feeling. "Maybe
Ian was stunned. "How many times have you been with Alicia?" Ian
"Probably five times."
"O, Lord. What grade is Alicia in?" Ian asked.
"She's a senior."
"Is she eighteen?" Despite how disturbed he was about the
situation, Ian was thinking like a lawyer. And hating himself for
Ian looked at Mary, who had started to weep again. And then there
"I think I'm going to excuse myself and go to bed," Mary finally
said. She stood up slowly.
William stood and went to her and put his arms around her.
"I'm sorry, Mom," he said, kissing her cheek. "I never wanted to
hurt you like this..."
Mary nodded wearily without giving vent to her disappointment to her
son. She walked out of the room after she and Ian had embraced
and kissed each other. They could hear her
slowly mounting the steps to the second floor and go to her and Ian's
Ian and William sat down again, eying each other warily across the room.
"A lot of fathers dread having their first sex talk with their sons,"
Ian finally said calmly. "I never hated it, really. I told
about the facts of life, what? Four or five years ago? It's
something that's required of a good father. I hope I've been a
good father to you. And I hope you've been remembering everything
I told you about the mechanics of sex back then."
"You've been a great father," William said, hanging his head.
"And I've remembered everything you said about sex."
"I needed to be teaching you more than just the mechanics of sex,
though," Ian admitted ruefully. "I needed to talking to you about
the matters of the heart and the understanding of responsibilities that
need to go hand in hand with having sex with a woman. I needed to
do that, but I didn't."
William gazed at him without speaking.
"This is a difficult
conversation for me to have with you at this point, William. For
several reasons. First of all, because what you've been doing,
from a physical standpoint, is as natural as breathing. Don't
think that I didn't experience the same drive to have sex when I was
your age that
experiencing right now. We all do, although all of us don't
try to deflower the entire local female population.
Secondly, it's difficult because I completely failed to teach you about
the boundaries that society and
the church try to establish so that meeting our own needs hurts no one,
or at least hurts as few
people as possible. I failed to make certain that I was
instilling in you the values that should guide us all, especially in
"You're no doubt known the class stud," Ian continued. "I'm sure
fellow jocks support you in what you've been doing and celebrate your
conquests vicariously, at least those that they know about. Peer
approval, adulation even, is hard to turn your back on. But think
these girls you've been having intercourse with. Having given
themselves to you, and perhaps even having pursued you until they got
what they wanted, they've had an experience that may well have made an
indelible mark on their personality and their psyche. And maybe
on their soul. This experience with you may hamper them when it
comes to falling in love with a man and moving into a sexual
relationship that could be merely satisfactory and not sensational like
may provide. Perhaps merely 'satisfactory' sex for them in a
relationship may be unsatisfactory, maybe even unattainable, for them
for the rest of their lives--because you're no doubt so good at
it. I know
that's a worse case scenario.
"You do think you're good at it, don't you?" Ian asked.
William turned red, staring again at the floor. Despite the
gravity of the moment, William couldn't help taking some satisfaction
that his father thought he was good at what he did with women.
"I guess I'm good at it. If I say I
haven't had any complaints, will you be
me?" he asked.
"No, that won't make me mad," Ian said. "But I want you to think
about these girls. These twenty, or maybe more, young women are
human beings, William. No matter how good your technique is, they
deserve more in a sexual relationship. I don't want you to make
life harder for them,
and I'm not just talking about a potential pregnancy."
"I do think about these
Dad. And while we're together, at least, I'm pretty close to
loving them. We always use protection. I never treat them
bad, and I don't look down on
them, and I don't let anyone talk bad about them when I'm around.
Believe me about that."
"I do believe you, William, because I know you're basically a good
person and a kind person. You don't have to convince me about
that. I know that I have to own some share of your failure to
exercise self-control when it comes to your sex life. But it is a
failure on your part not to have thought more about the effect on these
girls of having good sex with them. And it has to stop. Do
understand me? They deserve the opportunity to grow up
first. They're high school
girls! And you need to grow
up some more, too."
"I'm not engaging in an anti-sex diatribe here. If you don't know
it already, I'm telling you
that sex is a gift from God. It's a great gift and a powerful
gift, and both you and these girls deserve better than just treating
intercourse like an opportunity to exchange bodily fluids. It's a
you've all been abusing."
"I know you're right, Dad."
Ian was silent.
"No more sex with high school girls! I will be questioning you frequently about whether you're
intercourse, and I know you won't
"I won't lie to you," William promised.
He raised his head and looked over at his dad. "They're not doing
if you were
talking to Cam or Kevin about the fact that one of them was
having a lot of sex with a lot of different boys, would we being having
"You're damn right," Ian said. "Nobody's sex drive is his or
hers to do just anything they want with it. It's all about
respecting yourself and respecting others no matter whether you're male
or female, and whether your partner is male or female. I'm not
saying that sex should be limited to married people only, but I am
there should be some real feelings to go along with the sexual act."
"Just checking for consistency," William said.
"Count on that from me!"
The room fell silent until Ian sighed and looked over at his son.
"All right. Do I need to punish you?"
"No. Hurting Mom and having this conversation with you is
punishment enough, believe me."
"We won't have to have this same conversation again then, will we?"
"I want you to go over to St. Andrew's and make your confession
sometime during this coming week. 'Reconciliation' is what some
in the church are calling it now, and that's a pretty good name for
some fence mending to do. I'll let you pick the priest."
William groaned. "That'll be so humiliating," he wailed.
"I suppose it will be. But it'll be healing, too."
"All right, I'll go."
"Good. Let me know when you've done that." Ian
paused. "I'm meeting Mr. McCaskill at Denny's at 11:00 tomorrow
morning for coffee. I hope that he'll accept our deepest
apologies, and that we can part on good terms."
"Do you want me to go with you to face him?"
"No. I think that would just inflame the
"You can go on up to bed now."
William stood up slowly and looked at his father. "Please forgive
me, Dad. And please don't hold what I've done against me.
I know I've been wrong."
Ian stood and held open his arms to his boy. William went to him
with a sad face, and they hugged each other and kissed each other on
"I love you, William. I'll always love you."
William shed some tears at that point, and then went upstairs.
sat down again, looking around the den as if seeing it for the first
time. He was as sure as you can be when dealing with a seventeen
year old boy that William would try to do the right thing from then
on. Getting up, he went over to the bar, took a shot glass out of
the cabinet, and poured himself a
shot of Irish whiskey, downing it in one gulp before going back and
Ian put a hand over his eyes and sat in silence, thinking about the
family sleeping upstairs that he loved so much.
* * *
The Malibu part of the family ran early that
Saturday morning, at 5
a.m. That was so that Cam could get back and shower before
driving into Santa Monica to pick up Jeff at Assurances.
Catherine was taking the morning off from running, so Cam put
Casey in bed with her before the boys hit the front deck to do their
stretches. Maria had this Saturday off.
The two border collies wandered around their humans on the deck with
tails wagging. Alice and Samantha were always enthusiastic about
the morning run, on some occasions more so than their running
Cam and Kevin kept their mouths shut, but couldn't help noticing that
Carl and Andy were looking a little tired that morning after a busy
night in bed. No, a lot tired, actually. Tired but happy,
very happy with each other from the little looks the two young men
exchanged when they thought no one was looking. Good for them, Kevin
thought to himself. Those two guys were hot looking and they were
horny, and they'd obviously taken care of each other in all the ways
After completing their stretches, the thundering herd headed down
toward the hardpack next to the water and took off at a good
pace. No one complained, embracing the effort and the cool
morning air as they settled into their run.
When they reached Mile 3, Kevin pointed to his watch, and Cam peeled
alone to head back to the house while the rest of them ran another half
mile before turning around. The dogs started to go with Cam, but
he shooed them back to the pack of runners as Carl called to them.
Cam ran by the "house of horrors" as he drew nearer to Alex's place,
and knew that his visit with Dr. Owens to where he had been brutally
would be coming up shortly. He looked up at the house, but felt
no physical reaction to it this time. Maybe the visit there
wouldn't be as
bad as he anticipated. He wondered idly how Eric Clymer, Peter
Murtha and Rory Lomer were enjoying their stint in jail as their trial
date for what they had done to him crept nearer. He'd heard that
Lomer had been sexually assaulted and lived in solitary 23 hours a
day. Cam tried not to take satisfaction in that.
After knocking the sand off his running shoes, Cam dashed upstairs and
stripped. Then it was into the shower. The water felt so
good that Cam just stood there with the spray on his back and enjoyed
it before starting to soap himself down. As he washed he thought
about how loving and ardent Kevin had been in bed the previous night
had put his boy's big dick in his mouth and sucked and teased him until
Kevin had had a protracted orgasm. An
orgasm to remember. But with Kevin, weren't they all?
Cam finally popped out of the shower and threw on a pair of
clean boxers, cargo shorts, T-shirt and sandals, and headed out.
He smiled as he fired up the Camaro and it burbled quietly in the
driveway, announcing to the world at large the power under the
hood. He pulled away from the house slowly so as not to upset any
neighbors. Twenty minutes later, at 8 a.m. on the dot, he pulled
the parking lot at Assurances and saw Jeff come out the front door
carrying an overnight bag.
Cam opened his car door and stood beside it watching Jeff come down the
walk. He'd never seen Jeff look better. Good complexion,
eyes bright, great musculature, confident walk. If Jeff wasn't
healed, he looked close to it. And he looked sexy as hell.
Cam remembered how Jeff had looked just after he had emerged from under
Alex's front deck--dirty, unshaven, with long, stringy hair, and sores
covering his body, wearing that long, dirty coat that smelled of
Lord, what a contrast!
Jeff dropped his bag and held out his hand as he reached Cam. Cam
took the proffered hand and pulled Jeff into an embrace, squeezing him
tight and kissing his cheek before relaxing his arms to let him
go. Jeff pulled him back into the embrace and kissed him back.
"Lookin' good, bud!" Cam told him, bending down to pick up Jeff's bag
and stowing it in the back seat.
"You, too," Jeff said. He flashed his friend a big smile.
He walked around to the passenger side of the Camaro and got in.
"I've been looking forward to this furlough for so long," he
said. "You don't know."
"Hey, us too, dude. I'm glad you called. Catherine and Andy
and Dan are here from San Rafael, and are anxious to see ya."
"Same here," Jeff said. "Listen, can I buy ya breakfast before we
head out to Malibu?"
"Well, you can. But if I know Catherine, she'll be up and in the
kitchen fixing a big breakfast for all the runners. Whatever you
wanna do, though."
"McDonald's will wait, then. I never turn down a home cooked
"Good decision," Cam said. He looked over Jeff and grinned.
"You've got your own personal flash mob waiting at home to see you!"
"Let's hit it!"
Cam exited the parking lot at a good pace and twenty minutes later
pulled into the
driveway. They went into the house, and the welcome Jeff received
from everybody made his eyes water. He knew that the affection he
was receiving would add a giant boost to his recovery.
Cam watched Catherine greet Jeff, hug him, kiss his cheek, and talk to
him face to face personally before letting him go. For her, there
boundaries to her love. Once someone was in the family, no matter
why or how that person got there, there were no limits to the love and
care and nurture she was prepared to offer. Everybody in the
family knew that about her. And was thankful.
While Jeff was still the center of the guys' attention, Cam went to his
and hugged her and kissed her.
"What was that for?" Catherine asked quietly.
"No reason," Cam said to her. But
there is every reason in the world, he
thought to himself.
* * *
William called St. Andrew's after classes the
following his conversation with his dad, and asked to speak to Father
The receptionist explained that the rector was on vacation, and
wouldn't be back for two weeks. William knew that his father
would be asking before long whether he had made his confession, and
wouldn't like it if he was taking two weeks to receive
William bit the bullet, gave his name, and asked for Father
Mason. He was put right through to their family friend.
"William! How are you? I was thinking about calling you
guys and coming over to run with the family Monday morning," Mason
"We'd like that, Father."
"Five-thirty. In the A.M., of course."
"I'll be there." The priest cleared his throat. "You called
me, so what can I do for you?"
"Uh, I need to make an appointment to make my confession, Father."
"When's a good time for you?" Mason asked.
"Well, I have classes all day during the week and usually have football
practice right after school until late. Would you have have any
"You name the time, and I'll be here."
"How about 4:30?" William asked.
"Sounds good," Mason said. "I'll leave the side door to the
unlocked. Come on in and make your preparation, and I'll be
sitting at the altar rail with my back to you. Just kneel behind
me at the altar rail, and use the card I'll leave there for the
form for confession."
"Thanks, Father. See you then. And, of course, I'll see you
tomorrow morning for church. And at the house on Monday morning
to run. I hope you'll be able to keep up with the rest
Jim Mason laughed. "Haven't I always?"
"See you later, Father. And thanks for seeing me on such short
'Your welcome," the priest said, trying not to wonder what the urgency
to go to confession was.
Putting down the phone, William decided to head for the house's little
gym, still quiet and deserted on a Saturday morning.
"'Sup?" Berto asked as he came out of their bathroom after showering.
"Nada. Just need somewhere quiet to think."
Berto nodded, pulling the towel from his waist, giving William a good
look at the kid's big dick hanging soft between his muscular legs and
at his bubble butt as the boy went over to his dresser to get some
Lord, my roomie is looking good in
the cock department, William thought to himself. And his ass is fucking perfect! No
wonder he never has a problem with his harem at school. Not as
big a harem as mine, but in retrospect, that made him lucky, not
William walked down the hall toward the gym, taking with him a
pen and sheet of paper torn from one of his school notebooks. He
sit down on one of the exercise benches, and said a quick prayer for
help in making his list for confession. Then he began making
notes so he didn't forget anything. If he was going to humiliate
himself in front of God and his priest, he may as well make his list
He was finished twenty minutes later. He went back to his room
and tucked his notes into his copy of The Book of Common Prayer. As rarely as the boys pick up a prayer
book, none of them will find it there.
A little after 4:00 that afternoon, William changed out of his
shorts for a pair of dockers and a polo shirt, and headed for St.
Andrew's. As promised, the side door of the chapel was open, and
some of the lights were on. He saw Father Mason sitting with his
back to the altar rail on the gospel side. William went into a
pew for a quick prayer before going to the altar rail.
When he went forward and knelt at the rail, he found a laminated card
as the priest had promised. He picked it up and began to read it
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned," William said.
"The Lord be in your heart and upon your lips that you may truly and
humbly confess your sins: In the name of the Father and of the
Son and of the Holy Spirit," the priest said, reaching over his
shoulder to bless William with the sign of the cross.
"This is my first confession. I confess to Almighty God, to
Blessed Mary ever Virgin, to all the saints, and to you, Father, that I
have sinned by own fault in thought, word and deed, in things done and
left undone; especially. . .by cursing many times with friends, other
than using God's name or the name of Jesus in vain, so I could seem
cool; by sometimes disobeying instructions from my father and mother
and other adults responsible for me; by sometimes disrespecting others
to make a joke of them; by not studying as hard as I could and not
paying attention in class..." William paused and sighed.
"...by having sex with at least 20 girlfriends from school..."
He paused and sighed again. "...by masturbating five times in the
past month and many, many times before that. For these and and
all other sins which I cannot now remember, I am truly sorry. I
pray God to have mercy on me. I firmly intend amendment of
life, and I humbly beg forgiveness of God and his Church, and ask you,
Father, for counsel, direction, and absolution."
"You've made a good first confession, and a complete confession, and
the Lord will bless you for it," the priest said. "I am aware
that confessions which include sexual matters can seem humiliating to a
young man your age. But I don't want you to give into that sense
of humiliation because you've confessed those sins to a priest, because
our Creator knows full well the strength of the sexual urges He's
given us. I want you to know that Jesus was, and is, always the
most forgiving when it comes to sins of the flesh. You also need
aware that our branch of the Catholic Church does not consider
masturbation to be a sin unless it truly becomes an overpowering
addiction and a too frequent substitute for sexual relations with
someone, man or woman, to whom we are linked by marriage or the sure
prospect of marriage. Or unless it breaks a vow of celibacy we've
made. As a rule, though, casual sex does not put us in God's
favor. Do you
understand what I am saying to you?"
"God loves you for coming here, be sure of that. For
your penance, I want you to read Psalm 51, and say an Our Father and a
Hail Mary before you leave the chapel.
The priest paused and shifted gears.
"Our Lord Jesus Christ, who has left power to His Church to absolve all
sinners who truly repent and believe in Him, of His great mercy
forgive you all your offenses, and by His authority committed to me, I
absolve you from all your sins: In the Name of the Father, and of
the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
"Amen," William said.
"The Lord has put away all your sins. Go in peace, and pray for
me, a sinner."
William got up from the altar rail and went back to a pew as Father
Mason rose from his chair, reverenced the altar, and left the chapel to
go to the sacristy.
William completed his penance and went out the door through which he
had arrived. He sat in his car for a few minutes, his forehead
against the steering wheel. He realized he
felt a great sense of relief--of peace--in putting the sins he had
recounted to the priest behind him. He knew he might be back some
day, but hoped it wouldn't be too soon.
* * *
As he removed his cassock, surplice and stole, Mason made a mental note
to ask Catherine, Ian and Mary after he ran with the family on Monday
morning to see if he could go over
for supper that night. He needed to talk to them
growing understanding about his own sexual orientation. He'd been
off, and it was time to man up and let them know who he really was, and
becoming. They were family, after all.
© 2011 Don Hanratty