* * *
On Tuesday night that
week, Carl was upstairs studying in his room, and Cam left Kevin
working on some physics problems in the study and went out to the
garage. He uncovered Alex's, now his, Porsche, and sat down on
the steps just looking at it. That was a trigger, because
suddenly the events and consequences surrounding Alex's and John's
deaths rushed back into his mind, and he sat there paralyzed with
grief. Tears flooded his eyes without warning and began to run
down his cheeks, dropping on his T-shirt and board shorts.
He'd thought he had begun to put what had happened to his father and
John
Kelly behind him, but obviously that wasn't true. Even
after he stopped weeping, Cam sat there for a good half-hour staring at
the car, unable to move, thoughts about his loss cascading through his
mind.
He eventually heard the door to the kitchen behind him open, and
footfalls as Kevin came down the short flight of stairs and sat down
beside him and put an arm around him.
"Here you are. What's the matter?" Kevin asked.
Cam turned his head, his cheeks still red and wet from tears, and
looked at his partner.
"I don't know," he choked out before turning his face away.
Kevin moved closer to Cam and hugged him, not saying anything, and put
his face next to Cam's.
"I thought I had put all this shit behind me. But looking at
Dad's car just brought everything back," Cam said.
"Everybody heals at his own pace," Kevin responded gently and
reasonably after a moment. "The pain takes time to go away.
Please don't be upset that you're still grieving. It's gonna get
better. I'm here for ya, and so is everybody in the family."
"I know," Cam said. He put an arm around Kevin and hugged him
back. "Sometimes I don't think I'd want to live if it weren't for
you and Casey, Kev."
"That scares me." Kevin kissed Cam on the side of his head.
"Do you think you need to spend some time with Dr. Owens again?"
"I don't know," Cam said. "I haven't thought so up until
now. I thought I was handling things pretty well."
"I think you have been, but why don't you take a few days and think
about it?" Kevin suggested. "You liked working with Dr. Owens
after you were attacked on the beach, and she knows you and cares about
you. She offered to spend some time with you when she called
about Alex's and John's deaths, didn't she?"
"Yes, she did. And I'll think about it."
"Good. Listen, why don't we hit the bed early tonight? You
seem tired."
Cam's face looked more cheerful. "Y'know, I think that's an
excellent idea. I always like to hear the words 'we' and 'bed' in
the same sentence."