Date: Thu, 01 Feb 2007 17:24:32 +0000 From: Steve Thomas Subject: Ben's Fantasy, Ch. 23 This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of characters: Ben Hastings -- That's me! Bill "Bubba" Hastings -- My Dad Veronica Hastings -- My Mom. Reyna -- My Best Friend Ranj Kumar-- Another friend Jared -- A football whore. Sargeant Shipley -- High School Friend Rex Majors -- Ranj's roommate. Everett Majors - Rex's younger brother Mick and Mack Majors - The twins Kirby and Wyatt -- the youngest Majors From Chapter 22: The damn broke and I started blubbering like a baby -- as quiet as I could. I felt so ashamed and humiliated. "It's okay, sweetheart." My mom said. "A man's not supposed to - " I started. "Baloney!" said my dad. "Besides you aren't really a man for at least a couple months!" I put my head on my moms breast, and cried. And then my dad did something that blew me away. He scooted closer and sandwiched me between them. I started to gasp big sobs. "We learned we should have been doing this a long time ago, Benny!" Said Dad. "I hope it's not too late." I turned and hugged my dad. It was kind of embarrassing since he always slept nude. But it felt good. I couldn't remember the last time I hugged my own dad. "You're gonna be fine, Ben -- just fine!" Said dad. "Let's try to sleep." Mom said. I fell asleep almost immediately, still sobbing like a 5 year old. Chapter 23: "It's okay, Ben, Wake up!" I heard my dad's voice as if echoing through a narrow canyon. I was so sure that I was in bed with Ranj! I had just told him that I loved him, but that I could not do this any more. He reacted violently and started to beat on me. I tried to get away, but was stuck between two objects. Upon waking further I recognized the two objects as Mom and Dad. "What's wrong, Dear?" Mom said. "Bad dream. I think I wanna go back to my own bed." "Okay. You sure?" "How -- I mean, what time is it?" "1:16." "Wha - ? I only came in here after 1:00!" I exclaimed. "You've only been asleep less than two minutes." Said my dad. "So you think you're okay - - now?" "What was the dream about?" I dunno," I lied, "I felt trapped. What did I say?" "Nothing. Only mumbling." I got up and said, "Thanks. I really liked -- what you did -- tonight." I again pounced on them and hugged them together! "I love you!" "And we love you, Benny!" Said my dad. I climbed into my bed. "What happened?" Whispered the voice behind me. "Jeez! You trying to make me pee my bed? What're you doing here?" I whispered back. "I just wanted to continue where we couldn't when we left off earlier. I heard you scream, and then muffled conversation. What happened?" "I had a bad dream. Again, why exactly are you -- I thought we discussed this. You were going to stay - " "Shhh! I still have a key to your house. I let myself in!" "Wha - - ??!!" I turned and behind me was Jared, grinning like a Cheshire cat. His grin disappeared when he recognized me. "Ben!" He exclaimed. "Who were you expecting? Did you make plans with someone?" "Well, no, not exactly. I was hoping - " "You were hoping to meet my boyfriend?" "Your boyfriend?" "I assume we're talking about Everett." I said, trying to be serious, but feeling the levity in the situation. "You mean -- but -- I thought -- I guess I was getting -- what? Mixed signals?" He said. "Mixed signals?" I said. "At the airport. Were you two fighting? I woulda never guessed you were boyfriends. I thought he liked me! And you looked pissed -- for no reason I could understand -- and then Ev seemed to ignore both of us! What's -- I mean -- your boyfriend, huh?" "Who told you that you could call him `Ev'?" "It just seemed right." "Ben, when we first met at the airport - - I thought you were maybe even - - interested in me." "I'm sorry that I gave you the wrong impression. Well, I have to confess something to you, though." "What?" I -- well, mean -- Everett and me? We weren't boyfriends when we met at the airport." "Wha -- at?" "Jared, I was completely blown away by how good you look. But then I noticed you and Everett looking at each other like lovesick doves. I expected to hear cooing any second. He wasn't my boyfriend -- yet, but we have had some special time together., and - " "You mean special like you and I have had?" He said. "Something like that." I said. "Ben, I knew that you'd be back. But I didn't know you'd be bringing someone with you. My heart sunk when I saw him. Then it didn't look there was anything between you guys at all. And - " "Whaddaya mean, you knew I'd be back?" I said. "You and Ranj? I knew that'd never happen." He said. "Wha? How?" "Oh, jeez! Ben, he screwed my brains out. I was in love with him. Then he found you." "He what? No!" I reacted. Did you -- um -- do him?" "Naw. I'm a total bottom. When Ranj was through with me -- he just handed me to his buddies." "You mean he knew what - " "I don't think he knew how they abused me." "Did Ranj ever beat you up?" "No." He said. He saw the obvious hurt in my eyes. "But I never did anything to make him, I mean like you - " "Yeah, I know. I outed him." "So did he do anything to you back there?" "No. He was out, back there. But he sorta went wild his first time away from home -- or at least that's what I thought. He slept with whatever and as many as he could get under him. But now you're telling me he was doing that here too." "I didn't want to think so. I never knew anyone else that he -- um -- did you and he ever screw?" "That sounds so ugly. Ranj made love toy me once. Top, that is. I know he wanted me to reciprocate, but we never - - I damn sure wanted to." "Oh!" He said. "Have you and Ev - " he started, " -- Everett ever - " "I think you better sneak outa here now, Jared." "So -- you don't think that we could ever - " He said. "I don't know about ever, Jared. I just told you that Everett and I are - " "I got that. But -- do you think he would be in for a threesome?" I gave Jared "the look". "No, and I damn sure wouldn't." "Hey! Just asking." "See yah!" I said, closing the door behind him -- and locked it. Mom's cooking has agreed with Jared, but -- I gotta keep him away from Everett! Well, the boyfriend thing is a good start. Threesome? It does sound tempting, but -- Things could get confusing fast -- I think. But -- it's too late to be thinking so hard. I went back to bed and was almost asleep when there was a tapping on my door. I tried to ignore it, but heard it again. I dragged myself out of bed and unlocked the door, opened it and said, "Look, I told you to - - Ev!" "Sorry, Ben. Something woke me up and I went to pee and ran into your friend Jared in the hall. Doesn't he -- I mean -- where's he staying? I thought he didn't live here." "He doesn't. He let himself in and came to my room." "Oh." Said Everett. We were still standing at my door, so I pulled him in. This requires some explanation. I went back and sat on my bed and patted the place next to me. Everett sat about 1 foot from me, pouting. "Ev -- we didn't do anything. "It's okay if you want - " "No -- that's just it, Ev. It's NOT okay! He wanted a threesome -- with you and me." I said. Then it dawned on me. Everett may want that. Isn't it what he has done with his brothers? "What did you tell him?" Said Everett. "No!" I was trying to think of something to add to that -- to let Everett know that it is a bad idea -- in my opinion -- when he said, "Good!" I looked at him and he had an innocent look on his face. "So -- you agree -- that it wouldn't be a good idea -- a threesome, that is?" "No -- I mean yes! I agree. I hardly know him." Said Everett. "Oh!" I said. "But if you knew him better -- then you might consider it?" "I dunno. It seemed pretty innocent with my brothers, but that was more like experimenting stuff -- kids playing. We're all adults." He said, looking almost pleased about calling himself an adult. "That wouldn't be right -- would it?" How different am I from a 17-year-old? Can we justify something like that because we're still "boys"? "Ev, I think at this point is has more to do with what we want -- as adults -- from our relationship. Yours and mine. Maybe what we should ask is -- do we really want something as restrictive as a relationship? I mean, lots of guys -- and girls -- at this time of their life -- are out to do as much and as many as they can. I'm gay. Can I judge them? Most of the world thinks I'm a pervert." "I don't think you're a pervert." Said Everett, simply. "I'm not. But I'm not gonna judge someone else, either. What I'm gonna say is -- that's not for me. Ev, I have to be honest with you. It gives me a hard on thinking about it. Thinking about being naked and in bed with both you and Jared makes me -- want it! When I first heard about you and Mick and Mack, it sent a shiver of sexual energy from all my extremities to my -- dick!" I shrugged. "But I don't think it's -- right -- for me. It would confuse me -- I think." "Yeah." Said Everett, distracted. His head was somewhere else. He snapped back to reality. "I mean no! What? What were we -- oh! Yeah. No! I mean -- When I did things with Mick and Mack -- we all justified it as an escape from our dad. It was something we could choose to do. There was no choice involved with Daddy." "That makes sense." I said. "Ben, I told you -- I LOVE you. I choose to be only with you. I know the rest of the world thinks that's perverted. But I don't give a flying -- you know what! I think that gay guys -- er -- people -- should not sleep around any more than straight people should." "Straight people do -- and they play in groups too." I reminded him. "That doesn't make it any more right, does it?" He asked. This is what separates us. I really think he's still trying to make his own decisions about these things. I already have. I shook my head. "Yeah," he said, "They do that and then turn and tell us that WE're perverts! But we're not - - are we?" At almost 21, I can't decide for sure how I feel about this one. I sure can't expect an 18 year old -- with raging hormones -- to be able to figure it out -- on his own. "I dunno, Ev." He gave me a "HUH?!" look. "No, really. Do you believe in the Holy Bible?" "Well -- yeah -- I guess." "Did you go to church?" "Not much." He said. "Momma wanted us to, but Daddy didn't, so she didn't make us." "Well, I do believe in the Bible. And it says some pretty strong things about homosexuality. But I don't see those things as any worse than other things that are condemned. I mean what's worse, two guys committed to each other, or a guy who sleeps with a different girl every time he goes to the bar? Or a girl or guy who gets paid to sleep with whomever is willing to pay them?" Everett looked pensive for a moment. "So -- you're saying you think we're evil, but no more than other evil people?" Well, sort of, but what I'm saying is that there are many others that are much worse than we are. But no one is perfect -- I'm sure not! And because of this, I can't point my finger at someone and judge them, any more than they should be judging me. "I'm confused." He said. "Me too, Babe. But I'm not gonna lose too much sleep over it. I happen to also believe that Jesus suffered and died to take away whatever bad stuff we have. If we do our best, and treat other people well, and accept what he has done for us." "But you still think we are sinning -- I mean when we do homosexual things?" "Yeah, I guess, but -- I'm not sure of it. But I'm confident that a lot of people are doing much worse. And I feel good about what we are doing. I can't believe it's that bad. Now - - what your daddy did - " He frowned, but I continued. "THAT was wrong." He looked belligerent for a short moment, then softened to a hurt look. "Did you notice I said what he DID was wrong? I didn't say he was bad. But I do think what he did was bad." "Did Jesus suffer for him too?" Everett asked, with a look of pure innocence and - - hope. "I think Jesus died for everyone. But -- some of us will still have to live with some consequences of what we do -- whether or not we have a choice in the matter." "Huh?" "Well, take David -- the one who killed the giant, Goliath, in the Old Testament. He committed adultery -- slept not only with someone who was not his wife, but also someone married to another guy, Uriah. Then, since he was King, he sent that other man into the front lines of battle where he knew he would be killed. That was the same as murder -- and it was done to cover another sin. The old testament makes plain that even though David was forgiven, he will never be able to be what he could have been. That's a consequence." "I don't get it." "I think it has something to do with the murder. There is nothing that David could do -- even as king -- to restore Uriah's life. Also, most of us -- gay guys -- will ever get to have a family. Some will -- but most of us won't. That's a consequence of being gay. It's not a punishment. It's just a natural consequence. "Maybe a better example is someone who smokes heavily. God tells us to take care of our bodies. Smoking is obviously harming our bodies. Those who smoke probably need forgiveness for harming their body, but God will forgive them. But that doesn't relieve them of suffering in this life. That's a consequence of their choice to smoke when they know it's bad for them." "Oh. I'm tired. Guess I better get back to bed. Night." He said, and reached for the door. I reached out and pulled him back. I hugged him and kissed him deeply. Then I looked deeply into his eyes. "You're gonna be fine, Ev -- just fine!" He smiled and went to his bedroom. I don't know if what I said cleared anything up for Everett. I'm not even sure I understand it all myself. I'm not sure I want to. If I fully understand it, then there might be more responsibility. I'm not sure I want that. Maybe I'll ask Dad. Then again - - maybe not. I went back to bed and put it out of my mind and - - went to sleep. An extremely hot looking guy walked past me. I stood up and tried to straighten my hair. I felt embarrassed in my sleep shorts. He looked back at me and smirked. I wanted to hop back into bed, but it was too late. His smile faded and he walked back to me. He didn't say anything. He was the most beautiful man I ever saw. His skin was olive. His hair was blonde and curly, and seemed to fall perfectly in place -- like he didn't do it -- it just naturally fell perfectly. I thought -- or hoped -- he would walk 0n by, but he stopped right in front of me, and turned to face me. Again he smirked, but it quickly turned into a seductive smile. We didn't speak, but he seemed to be searching for something in my eyes. His look alternated between playfully seductive and softly kind. Then I noticed it. I don't know why I didn't see it at first, it is so striking and -- different. As he peered deeply into my soul, it dawned on me -- his eyes were blood red. All of a sudden I felt like screaming, but nothing came out. As a matter of fact, I couldn't even move my face. I just stood there stupidly staring back at him. His look and smell was sweet and sexy, but I perceived treachery hidden somewhere in his beautiful facade. Then he seemed to fade -- no shrink -- or something -- away. Beside him, a more plain looking man stood. He had been there all the while, but -- I didn't notice him. He wasn't anything as striking to look at as the first guy. But there was something coming from him. Not only his eyes, but his whole body seemed to beckon to me to come to him. I did. I stood directly in front of him. Again, no words were spoken, but he seemed to still be telling me to come. I was already as close as I could be. No - - I wasn't. I gingerly reached one arm toward his shoulder, He seemed to let me know it was alright. I put both arms around him and then he pulled me into him. I closed my eyes. He smelled like -- I dunno -- honest and manly. I was afraid to open my eyes, because I felt that He was becoming part of me, and it felt better than I ever felt. I was afraid if I opened my eyes I would wake up and find it was only a dream, and I didn't want to ever leave this guy. I wanted him to always be part of me. I don't remember the dream ending -- when I awoke -- as most of my dreams do. When I woke up, there was light coming in the bottom of the shade on my window. I felt warm -- and tried to remember what it was I dreamed about. Everett came into my room. No -- that was real. But after he left, did I lie down? I couldn't remember. Then it came back to me -- first as a feeling. I wanted to feel the Man again. But it was a dream -- wasn't it? I seemed so real. It's Saturday morning. After breakfast, and the little boys were playing on my old swing set in the back yard, Ev asked me, "Ben -- I don't ever want you to leave me." I frowned involuntarily. He went on, "I mean that's how I feel right now. Last night I felt like you were holding me all night. I felt warm and secure and -- somehow -- full -- or something. It was more like you were part of me -- not just next to me." When Everett said that, I immediately felt the feeling again. "Ev -- I'm not sure -- I mean, how do you know it was me -- holding you -- in your dream?" "I just know." "Did you see me? Did we talk?" I asked. "No. You just held me." I decided not to tell him about my dream until I figured it out for myself. "What do you think, Ben?" "Um -- did it feel good?" "Ohhhh yeah!" "Then I'd say it WAS good." I said, noncommittally. He accepted that. Just after a late lunch, there was a knock at the door. Dad answered it. "Ranj! What brings you here today? I thought you were in North Carolina!" "We had a break in spring training, so I decided to make a quick trip home." Everett and I were nearly asleep on each other, watching a movie on TV. We didn't get up. "Your parents must be happy about that!" Mom said. "They don't know I'm home yet." Said Ranj. "Oh!" Said both Mom and Dad. "I mostly came to see you guys." "You mean Ben -- and Everett?" Dad said. "N -- not really, Bubba. And I have to go back Tuesday morning. I was hoping that I could come over and watch Monday night football with you." "Of COURSE you can!" Dad seemed pleased to be called Bubba by this young running back. "Jared is coming too!" "Who's Jared?" Asked Ranj. "A boy that lived with us awhile after being roughed up by some of your teammates at Cerritos." "OOooh! Him. Yeah, I remember him. He used to hang out - " His voice trailed off, and he looked like the cat that swallowed a canary. "Yes. The back parking lot." Said Dad. Ranj looked almost sick for a moment. Then dad added, "They put up lights back there now." I dunno if Dad knows that's where I met Ranj or not - - AND Jared. Anyway, Ranj seemed to remember who Jared is. He's in for a big surprise. "We're watching the game with my dad and Ranj, Monday!" I whispered to Everett. He giggled. Ranj heard that and then saw us in the living room. He made a bee line for us. "Won't you come in?" Dad said after Ranj passed him. "Ben!" He said, beaming. "Hi Ev." "Hello, Ranj." I said. "Hey." Said Everett. I think Ranj expected one or both of us to get up and run to his arms. We didn't. There was room enough for three on the couch, and Everett and I were still sitting close. I moved slightly so there was not quite enough room for Ranj to sit. I indicated the chair at the opposite end of the room. "Sit down." I said. I wondered what the real reason was that Ranj came home so suddenly. He stayed standing. "I'm surprised to see you here, Ev." Said Ranj. "Yeah, there was no reason to stay in Texas with my brothers all here." Said Everett, scooting up close to me again. I put my arm around his shoulders. "And besides, I wanted to be close to my boyfriend." Said Everett, smiling, as he lay his head on my shoulder. "I can see that." Said Ranj, trying his best to smile genuinely, but his brows twitching nervously. He backed out of the room. "I really should get home and see my parents. See you on Monday night, Bubba! Bye Mrs. Hastings." He didn't tell us bye. I thought he tried to look our way on his way out, but he quickly escaped. I felt an ache in my chest. "I know." Said Everett. "What?" I said." "It's even sad for me to see him so disappointed." Said Everett, as he wiped a little wetness from my cheek with his little finger. When my dad walked back into the kitchen, he licked his finger. "I do love you, Ev." I said. Everett clouded up and tears sprang from his eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked. He smiled sheepishly and said, "Sorry - that's the first time you said it to me - - first. And I know what you mean! You're not talking about forever, die for me, love. You just love me." "Well, that's almost true." I said. "Huh?" "Ev, I WOULD die for you!" He looked at me dumbfounded. "Wouldn't you risk your life to save me if I was in danger?" I asked. "I never gave it any thought. I mean -- of course! But -- I guess I just never thought about it as risking anything." "I think that's the difference between 18 and 21. Between 18 and 21, a guy figures out that he probably isn't gonna live forever and there's even a small chance that I could die tomorrow." "Geez! Do we have to talk about this?" "Nope. It just gives things a little more perspective, is all." "Whattaya mean?" "I thought you didn't want to talk about it." "I didn't. Now I -- I dunno. Dang! You make me think too much sometimes! What perspective?" "Oh, it's like -- um - " I closed my eyes for a moment. "If my Mom died tomorrow, my dad would be devastated. And rightly so. He has built his life around her." "Yeah?" "But if I died, you would cry and it would be a big disappointment. You love me and I love you. But in a year or two, I'd be this guy that you knew a couple of weeks, and you would always regret that you didn't have time to get to know better." "But -- but - " Everett's eyes got that trapped look again -- like he knew and understood exactly what I was saying -- but didn't want to " -- YOU SUCK!" "Yes, I do, but SHH! You don't have to broadcast it to the world!" I smirked. "You know what I mean." He pouted. "Yes, I do. But you see -- a 17-year-old - " "Almost 18!" "An `almost 18-year-old' -- can fall in -- and out -- of love every two weeks." He leaned back away from me on the couch and stared at me. "How can you even stand being around me? You think I'm a snotty-nosed little kid, don't you?" Everett looked so cute! His lower lip was protruding about an inch! "Ev, I'm half kidding!" "Yeah, but that other half -- "Your little boy quality one the things I like MOST about you -- to me. I'm learning so much from you!" "Learning -- from me? Ha!" He scolded. "I AM! Already, at `almost 21', I had forgotten how to just `be'. I am always wondering if this or that is okay. You just are! You love me -- unconditionally. No explanations, no reasoning or qualifications -- or justifications. I think that was one of the disadvantages of being an only child. I never got to be the little brother. I had to be the man too early -- maybe." "I like -- er -- love you -- just the way you are." He said, as if testing the waters. "And I love you ESPECIALLY the way you are!" I said. "That's what I meant! You're different than anyone else I know. Whatever that means -- I'm glad! Maybe you're right. Maybe I would look back at us and just be sad that we didn't know each other better. But I know this: I WANT to get to know you that well -- so well that I would be devastated if you died -- or left me." I leaned over and pecked him on his nose. He screwed his face up and stuck his tongue out. "Let's go out for a walk!" I said. Everett was up and ready to go before I could think twice. He pulled me up and said, "I gotta pee first!" "Me too." I followed him into the bathroom. We both stood at the toilet and peed together, like a couple of six-year-olds. When we came out and headed for the front door, my mom said, "Where are you two headed?" "We were gonna go for a walk." I said. "Okay." Mom said. "Can you watch the boys tonight? Your dad and I want to go to a movie." "I -- guess." I said. "Sure -- of course!" I added. "Wonderful! There's hamburger meat in the fridge that you can barbecue if you want." Everett and I decided to take a walk before my parents went out. As we walked, he took my hand. I told him no, not in my parents neighborhood. I felt bad, because I really wanted to. It was nice in Durham to walk around the campus like that. But I also didn't want to offend my parents' friends. "Is it always gonna be this way?" He asked. "I'm sorry." I said. "Oh -- it's okay, really. If it was my neighborhood, it would be the same -- only worse. Dad would skin us alive if we ever got anyone wondering what goes on in the Majors house! I was just wondering if it will ever be okay for two guys to hold hands in public." "Probably never to some people." I said. "But it's done in other places all over the world, and it's not even thought of as gay. Maybe someday. A lot of people our age don't think twice about it, so maybe." Everett stopped. I stopped and turned around. He had a faraway look in his eyes. "I wonder -- if -- oh never mind." "What?" I said. "It's silly." "Nothing's too silly, Silly!" I quipped. "I dunno -- I just -- I feel so close to you. It's only been a couple weeks, but I feel like I wanna be with you forever. I really do love you. I don't think it's just because I'm so young." "Have you ever loved anyone else?" I asked. "No -- not really." "Whaddaya mean, not really?" "There was this guy last year that was really nice to me. I thought I was in love with him, but he was straight and already dating a lot of girls -- well, he was going steady with one when he was so nice to me." "I hope you don't think I'm just being nice to you, Ev." "That's what I mean. It was silly." "It was a crush. And the fact that he was nice to you encouraged you. But you and he never - " "Nothing. But I sure had fantasies about him." "You mean - " "It was hard every time I saw him." "Why? Did he know?" "No, I mean `it' was hard! It was embarrassing and I always was worried he would know that I had wood for him." "The main thing is you and he were never more than friends -- good friends." "Naw. That was all in my head too. He was nice to everyone." "Ev, I'm not gonna tell you that what we have is nothing. I do love you. But I've been in love before - " "Ranj?" "Yes. So, I guess I just have a different perspective than you. And you're right. It has nothing to do with your age." "Do you still love him?" He asked. "I -- I -- don't know if I will ever stop loving him." I said. This time it was I who had a faraway look. I thought of special times in his bedroom and when he fixed me special meals in his kitchen. "More than me?" "Huh?" I said, brought out of my day dream suddenly. "Do you love him more than me?" I didn't want to answer. So I joked. "Huh? YOU love him too?" "I guess that's a yes." He said dejectedly. I looked around. It was starting to get dark a little, but still anyone could see us -- if they were interested enough to watch. I decided that a hug wasn't like holding hands. I hugged him. "Ev, that's not a fair question -- or comparison. I have loved Ranj for almost a year. I just met you. And I have made a conscious decision that I can't be Ranj's -- well, bitch. So there is no contest when it comes to either him or you. I choose you!" He lay his head on my chest. For this one reason, I was glad he was small -- and he sighed. "Give us time, Ev." I said. He squeezed me and said, with a sigh, "Okay." We walked back home and Mom and Dad were just getting worried they might be late. But they weren't. After they left, I told Everett that I was going to the video store to get a movie. "I'll go too!" He said. He threatened his twin brothers with certain death if anything happened to the little boys. At 15, they could take care of them. Not having a car myself, I drove Mom's '93 Saturn. "Wow! This car has over 200,000 miles!" Said Everett. "Yeah." I chuckled. "But it still looks almost new -- and feels like it too!" "Mom and Dad both take good care of their things. I used to think it was cool that at my cousin's house, his parents let us jump on the couch. Mom never would let us do that. But Dad never made that much money, so they wanted to keep their stuff nice. Come to think of it, Uncle Jack never made all that much either. And their furniture was a mess. I think I like it better to treat things nice and have nice things longer." "Yeah -- I suppose." Said Everett. "But I still can't believe that your parents were willing to take five extra boys into their house." "I guess my dad got a raise or something." I said. "But -- they could have gotten a nicer car for your mom -- or maybe a nicer place -- if they didn't have us." "Yeah -- I guess you can't call them selfish. They ARE getting some money from the county where you lived." Yeah but -- probably not that much. I hope that Mick and Mack will realize and be thankful someday soon." "You mean they aren't now?" "Naw. They just are mad because they had friends in Texas. They would rather be home." "I suppose. But your dad - " "You have to realize -- our dad gave us all kinds of special favors -- to keep our mouths shut." "Oh!" Do you miss it?" "He stopped doing me when Mick and Mack started to be -- older. So -- the favors stopped too. I was more than ready for it to stop, so I didn't care. Mick and Mack aren't tired enough of it yet. And also I didn't have someone to -- to console with after -- like they do. They might have put up with it for a lot longer. It wasn't all bad -- at first. They probably might even miss it." "Hmm. Loss of friends. Loss of favors. I kind of understand." "There's one more thing. Daddy's dick is huge. Ours will never be that big. It's even bigger than - - Rex's. I still dream about it and -- kind of - miss it." "Didn't it hurt?" I asked. "Huh?" "Didn't it hurt when he -- raped -- you?" "I never thought of it that way. I see it now -- but I didn't think of it as rape then. And yes it did hurt at first. But I learned to zone out when he did that. And forgot about the pain. I used to zero in on the nice things he would say -- while he was doing it." "I thought he was verbally abusive to - " "Not while he made love to us." He said. Interesting terminology! We got a couple videos and returned home. The little boys were playing in their room and Mick and Mack were playing -- with each other -- in the living room. "Guys! You can't do that in here!" Scolded their brother. "What if Mr. and Mrs. Hastings came home early?" Mick looked cowed by what his brother said, but Mack said, "I don't give a fuck if they - " "You better shut that kind of crap up, before I - " Said Everett. "Or you'll what, pansy brother? Are you gonna spank us -- or maybe give us a rough fuck like daddy used to - " Everett wasn't much bigger than his 15-year-old brothers, but his hand snapped out and he slapped his brother Mack across the face so hard, it made him bleed. The way Mack was so feisty a moment before, I expected him to come back at his brother with his fists. Instead, he sat down on the couch. And cried. "Ev -- why did you do that?" He sobbed. "We're brothers aren't we?" Mick was looking fearful of Everett but soothed his twin brother with his hand. Everett stood still with his feet about 15 inches apart and his hands planted firmly on his hips. Slowly, both Mick and Mack got up and came to him. "Sorry, Evvie." They both said together. And they hugged him and went to their room. Everett looked at me, standing there with my mouth wide open. "What?" He said. "That was amazing!" I said. "How did you do that?" "We didn't have a perfect family life, but -- we did have discipline. Mack went over the line. I had to get his attention." "Well, you got mine too." "It's not over." He said. "Huh?" I said. Everett walked to his brothers' room and knocked. "Yeah?" Came two immature, changing voices. "Can I come in?" Not waiting for an answer, Everett opened the door and bade me stop at the door. What happened next made me cry. The twins were on their bed. Everett offered his hand and they both took it and got up, and stood in front of them. "Mick, I'm sorry I had to do that -- but I did have to. Mack, you know it too -- huh?" Mack rubbed his still bleeding cheek and nodded. "I love you guys more than life. You know that too, right?" They both nodded. They then hugged each other close and long. "Love you too, Evvie." Both twins said separately. "We got a neat video. You wanna watch it with us after dinner?" "Yeah." "You up for barbecued hamburgers?" I smiled -- trying to hide my tears. Everett walked back to me looking ever so much more mature, and said, "You see, we got some things right." "You did!" I smiled. I barbecued about a dozen large hamburgers and the twins and Everett sliced up tomatoes, pickles, and lettuce, and we each had at least two, smothered in ketchup and mayonnaise, with about a gallon of milk. Mom had a frozen apple pie fresh from an apple farm in the freezer and I took responsibility to bake it for later. We watched the first video -- which was appropriate for the little boys -- and they both fell asleep during the movie. I was gonna carry them to their beds, but all three of their brothers protested. They were gonna be unhappy if they didn't have some of that pie. I wondered if all kids from large families were that close and loving to each other. As screwed up as their life was -- with their father's perverseness -- maybe that made them closer than other siblings would be. So we woke the little boys up and they were pleased to have pie with vanilla ice cream with the rest of us. Between the five of us, we had no problem polishing off that pie! With their bellies full, the little boys were easy to persuade to bed, with no crying for momma. They`re getting used to being here. The second video was not really good for little Kirby and Wyatt, but it was PG13, and so I felt it was okay for the twins. It was a movie called "Get real", an English flick about two prep school guys who fell for each other. One was a jock. The other was tall, skinny and handsome -- but definitely not a jock. The twins didn't quite get what Everett and I did. But the jock, Johnny, was abusive to the other guy, Steve. It hit home quickly and was a little uncomfortable for me to watch. It was kinda hot seeing the slight love scenes between the two guys. I rubbed my crotch and smiled as I noticed every other guy in the room doing the same. I took a chance and kissed Everett, and that wasn't lost on the twins. They then began to make out passionately. "Hey!" Said Everett. "Take it in to other room, or just watch the movie. The Hastings will be home any time." They stopped and sheepishly grinned at us. As the movie was ending, Mom and Dad came home. "Oh!" Said Mom, seeing the last scene. "We saw that movie. It reminded us - well, you know." "What did you do after the movie?" I asked, realizing that they were gone longer than one movie. "We did some shopping." Dad said, winking at me. I took that to mean they were giving us some extra time alone. They seemed pleased that we were not doing anything more than watching a movie. We all went to bed. After everything quieted down, I crept into Everett's room careful not to wake Wyatt and Kirby. I shook Everett. "Huh?!" He started. "Shh. It's me. Wanna come to bed?" I whispered. He grabbed me and pulled all of my 175 pounds over on top of him and put his lips very close to my ear and said, "I'm all over that idea!" and licked my ear. He giggled when my response came from a few feet lower. Well, both of us actually! "Umm - " He strained to push me weakly, " -- but you're gonna have to get off, if I'm gonna be able to move." "Ohhh yeaaaaah! Getting off was exactly what I had in mind!" I laughed. We tiptoed into my room. Luckily my room -- and the den -- are on opposite sides of the house from Mom and Dad's room and where Wyatt and Kirby were bunking. We didn't have to worry too much about waking anyone. Everett said that Mick and Mack slept like the dead, and besides, it didn't matter if they knew we were doing anything. We stripped down and attacked each other. We were both hard as rocks before we ever got into bed. His small skinny body felt so good against my own. With our genitals in full contact, his face was on my chest. He was on top and humped me while sucking on my nipple. That made me feel like I was gonna explode immediately - - but I didn't. After flipping over, with him on the bottom for awhile, I positioned myself so we could kiss. From the bottom he humped my tummy and I was pushing mine between his legs. There was enough precum to make all this very easy and slick. I was about to come to my climax when he stopped altogether and said, "Ben -- will you make love to me?" "Isn't that what we're doing?" I said. "No -- I mean -- for reals. I mean -- I want you to put it - - in me - - tonight." All of my being said, "YESS!" But ^Å Notes: Any comments are welcome. Thanks for all your support and love. Send emails to: stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks again and -- love, Steve