Date: Wed, 09 May 2007 18:33:27 +0000 From: Steve Thomas Subject: Ben's Fantasy Chapter 30 This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of characters: Ben Hastings -- That's me! Bill "Bubba" Hastings -- My Dad Veronica Hastings -- My Mom. Reyna -- My Best Friend Ranj Kumar-- Another friend Jared -- A football whore. Rex Majors -- Ranj's roommate. Everett Majors - Rex's younger brother Mick and Mack Majors - The twins Kirby and Wyatt -- the youngest Majors Etienne Croissant -- Salesman Alan Randall -- Dad's friend From Chapter 29: When we got back to the car, and started toward home -- my home, that is, he started rubbing his crotch again. "Trying to turn me on again, Al?" I asked. "Or can you just not help yourself with a sexy little dark guy sitting so close?" I was pretty proud of myself for that remark. "Don't think I didn't notice your crotch grow while Cindy was humping you! Gay my left nut! You're holding out on me!" I hoped he would not notice! Chapter 30: "Ben, you said you dated girls in high school, didn't you? Did you ever boff any?" "I made out a little." "Did you like it?" "Yeah -- I didn't ever think I had a choice for anything else." "But - - you liked it -- right?" he was pressing the issue for sure. I figured I knew where it was going, and was resistant. "Yeah -- I liked it -- a little." I conceded. "I could fix you up with some chicks that would make you wonder -- about your present choices! I mean hot!" "I really don't -- "You don't have to make up your mind right away. I really think you'd like sex with a girl!" "But -- Al -- it's not so much about that. Well it IS -- because I'm just not interested in girls. But if I was -- it wouldn't be the kind you're talking about. I don't care in the least for cheap sex -- with no commitment at all. I would want someone who is -- I guess someone who has some morality. Don't look at me like that. You said you don't care if a guy is gay. Well, I just don't feel like being gay is immoral." "I see." He said, frowning. "What?" I said. "Nothing. It's just almost funny to hear a gay guy moralizing to a straight guy." "There's my house." I said, as we turned onto my street. "Hey, Ben -- it's been great. I hope we see each other some other time. See you later, huh?" That was fine with me. Then I thought about Dad. "Wait!" I said. "You have to come in and meet my dad." He'd be disappointed if I let you get away without meeting him -- the son of Alan Randall!" He raced the engine on his Testarosa before turning off the ignition. "Dad, I want you to meet a new friend. Al, this is my dad, Bill Hastings. Dad this is Alan Randall." Dad smiled and shook Al's hand. "Nice to meet you, Alan. Where -- um -- you know, I went to school in Indiana with an Alan Randall. But that has to be a pretty common name. What a coincidence." "Not a coincidence, Mr. Hastings. Alan Randall is my dad!" Dad looked confused. "What? You mean -- your -- MY -- Alan Randall's son?" "Your Alan Randall? My dad said you two were close - - but he didn't say you were THAT close!" Said Al with a big grin. "We were NOT THAT close, Alan! But we were like best friends. How odd that we would both produce gay sons!" "I'm not gay!" said Al. "Oh -- sorry!" Said Dad. Then he looked at me, horrified. "Oh, Ben -- I didn't -- I mean -- I assumed -- but -- wow, I hope I didn't mess anything up!" "I know Ben is gay. It doesn't matter. I seriously doubt I'll catch it!" Quipped Al. Interesting: He doubt's he'll catch it -- from me, but he thinks I may be able to "catch it" from him. Dad still looked uncomfortable. "Ahem. How did you two happen to meet? And how did you figure out the connection?" "I think I would have zoomed in on that name. Dad has mentioned you many times. But -- actually Ben met my dad first." "Oh -- is he out here visiting you? Or -- Now I am confused!" Said Dad. "We live in Brentwood. I live with my parents." "What? Alan Randall lives in Brentwood?? How long have you lived there?" "I was born in Indiana but -- I don't remember it. We moved out here when I was 2 and to Brentwood seven years ago." Dad looked at me in astonished bewilderment. "All these years we've been a half hour away from each other!" He shook his head. "Well, I'm glad our boys seem to be hitting it off so well!" I didn't see any reason to correct my dad on that point. "I really do like Ben, Mr. Hastings. I'm not so sure if he likes me as much." Said Al. He said it jokingly, but I think he was more serious than he was letting on. "Yeah, like -- what's not to like?" Said Dad, looking Al up and down. I was embarrassed -- feeling Dad was reading my -- well let's say my mind! Al WAS a very cool and seemingly with-it guy! And he was not hard to look at either. Not hard at all. "I hope Ben feels the same. C'mon Ben walk me out to my car." Said Al. I opened the door for him and dad looked out and saw the Testarosa in front of the house. "Geez! Is that your car?" Said Dad. He was beginning to embarrass me. "Well, technically it's in Dad's name. But yeah, it's mine." "Your dad must have done pretty well for himself after we lost contact. Nice!" "Here's my card, Mr. Hastings. It has our phone number on it." "Please! Call me Bill!" "Yeah or as my dad says, Bubba!" Said Al. "Yeah that was my nickname in high school -- and for a few years after." "Okay -- I'll call you Bill - - Bill!" Said Al and he extended his hand. Al and I walked out to the car. He extended his hand to me. "Sorry if I offended you, Ben -- that wasn't my intention." He gave me a pained look. "I'm okay. Are you -- okay?" "Yeah -- I guess." "You guess?" I said. "You hit me pretty hard with that Shallow Hal bit. It did -- um -- I guess -- make me think a little." "I'm sorry then that I hurt your feelings. I didn't know straight guys had them." I grinned. "OOOO! Touché! Okay, however I got you -- I think you got me back! And -- you are definitely speaking my language now!" he said, also grinning. I took his still extended hand and squeezed it, but he pulled me into a hug -- which was your basic A-frame stance with maybe a shoulder touching. It was a macho-man hug - but it was definitely a gesture I couldn't ignore. I watched his car until it disappeared around the corner. Is this the standard "gay guy wants a straight conquest" syndrome I'm feeling? He seems to be a womanizer and hasn't a clue about the feelings of a gay guy! What a jerk! (What a stud!) I walked slowly into the house and was met by my mom. "Alan seems to be a very nice boy." "He's 21, Mom!" I said irritably. "Well, anyway, he surely seems nicer than his father was!" "Wha -- you knew his dad too?" "Yes -- I even dated him once. I thought he was a jerk -- but he was one of your father's best friends, so I was nice enough to him. But his boy -- or rather, his son -- he seems very respectful and nice." ("He puts on a good front!" I thought.) "Oh you think?" I answered, trying not to sound too pissy. "Son, can we take a drive?" My dad said. He looked at Mom and something unknown to me - passed between them. "Uh -- sure, Dad. Where did you want to go?" "Oh, it's not where I want to go -- exactly -- I just would like to talk to you without all the -- curious ears." "Oh." I said, following him out to the car. As soon as we were away from the driveway, Dad said, "Ben -- I didn't want to rock your boat while you seemed to be -- infatuated with Everett. But you and I haven't had a father son talk for quite some time -- since before I advised you to go after Ranj -- and I see that was a mistake. "I'm not sure what I'm about to propose is -- any better -- but just listen and maybe -- I dunno -- I just think you deserve to hear this. Ben -- er -- um -- when you were in high school -- you dated some girls." "Yeah, and looked at nothing but guys!" I said, already getting the gist of his conversation. "I know that -- you told me. But -- as I was saying, you dated nothing but girls -- not too many of them, but - you were a shy guy -- would you agree with that?" "Well -- yeah -- around girls." I said unsure what was coming next. "As I saw it, you were shy around guys too, Ben. And when you got to College, you got a little more brave and started going to that back parking lot. You - " "How did you - - I mean -- you KNEW about that?" I said, supremely embarrassed. "Ben -- it's okay! I heard about it quite by accident -- from Jared." "JARED!" I said, immediately indignant. "Now, Ben -- remember -- you said a few things you didn't mean -- or rather that slipped out -- when you were going with Ranj. You told me that. And that was why he -- was so violent with you. I'm sorry I pushed you to get further involved with him. I like him, but he wasn't - - for you." "No duh!" I said. "Getting back to my point. I am wondering if you gave yourself a fair chance with girls." "Dad -- they don't do anything for me." "You told me that you liked kissing them." "Well, yeah -- it was like some kind of experiment. Of course I - " "From what I have read, guys who are really homosexual get sick even thinking about kissing -- or anything else -- with a girl -- about how I'd feel, doing any of that with a guy." " So -- what are you -- um -- suggesting -- Dad?" "Ben, I don't want to coerce you into doing something you know is not right for you. I definitely don't want to force you to do anything -- nor could I -- I know that. But I just want you to consider trying dating girls again -- now that you are older -- to see if -- if -- if they bring anything out for you that you didn't feel before." "Dad! I have been all - " "Ben, let me finish. This is hard for me. And maybe that's one of the reasons you are so shy -- because I have been somewhat that way with you -- and have not really talked enough to you. "Son, what I wanted to tell you is this. Being gay is hard -- I can see that. I very much admire that you have been such a man about accepting and about being who you feel you are. But I just want to have you consider this: Straight is so much easier. I'm not saying the easy road is always the best -- much to the contrary. "But in this issue, and especially that our family has grown so -- almost exponentially -- in the last couple months -- I can see that a man's happiness comes from his family -- especially his children. Ben -- you may never have that being gay." "That's not necessarily - " "I know that some gay couples adopt, and some singles even do it, but most don't and the chance of you finding just the right person -- who also wants what you want -- is much greater if that person is a female. I just -- I dunno -- as I said, I can't tell you what to do, son. Only give you my impressions. Don't answer me here and now, please. Just think about it, okay?" "Dad -- I - " I paused a long moment. "I - - okay -- I'll think about it. But - " "That's all I ask, Ben. Your whole future is worth some thought -- isn't it?" " Yeah, It is Dad." "Benny -- I love you!" "I know you do, Dad. Thanks." We drove in silence back to the house. We exited the car and walked in silence to the door. As he was opening the door, I said, "I love you too, dad. I promise I'll think about it." As soon as we were in the door, I headed to my bedroom. It wasn't late, but I was suddenly very tired. I closed the door and lay on my bed. I was quickly asleep. My dreams came quick, one following another. I first dreamed of Ranj -- I always seem to -- then Everett. Ev morphed into Etienne. Nothing erotic with any of them -- only strange feelings of emptiness. I might have even cried -- or felt like it -- or something. Then the scene changed altogether. I was sitting in Al.s Testarosa, and he was only sitting idly by. I didn't like him very much. Then I was standing outside his car and he was still sitting in it, and -- that girl he introduced me too was using my leg to do a pole dance. Al was laughing at me -- trying to hide the tenting in my pants. "Is that cell phone in your pocket actually growing? Or are you just happy I'm finally here?" She said. But it didn't sound like a girls voice. While I tried to figure this out, I felt a hand pressing gently on my shoulder. I opened my eyes. "Ev!" I said, groggily awake. "I walked by your door and you were moaning. Bad dream?" "Where are the little boys?" I had the presence to ask. "In the back yard, playing on the new swing set Mom and Dad bought them." My eyes flew to the window. The room darkening shade was down, but now I could see light around the edges. "what -- what time is it?" "It's 6:30. Mom asked me to come wake you up for dinner." "Oh! How's it going -- with you and Jared? "We're okay. I mean -- we aren't exactly -- a couple -- yet. I dunno if that will ever happen. How about you and Etchen." "It's Etienne." "It's hard for a Texan to pronounce those french words!" He was so cute when he pouted! "so -- did you guys -- um -- do anything -- besides -- um -- work?" "Naw. I dunno about him. He's kinda old -- I think." "Kinda like you're too old for me, huh?" "Not even close!" I said. "I don't think I'm ready -- for him. I'm still more ready for -- someone younger -- I think. Oh, I dunno!" "Oh! So you have not made any promises to him!" "Hell no! Ev! We've only seen each other twice!" "Good!" He said and he flopped down beside me. "Hold me, Ben!" He begged. "Ev! The door - " "I already locked it." He said grinning. I frowned. "Just hold me, big brother?" He whined. I pushed him off the bed, and then opened the covers. He quickly stripped off his shirt and clamored up next to me, bringing our chests together. My dick immediately pulsed. "Thank you, Ben. I was afraid only I still felt something." "Huh?" "I mean -- no expectations. It just feels good to hold you again." "Yeah," I said, sarcastically, "it's been since way last night hasn't it?" "I meant what I told Dad last night -- whoever I end up with will have to accept that I get to cuddle with my big brothers!" He said and he hugged me closely. Then he sprang out of bed, whipped on his shirt and ran out of the room grinning. He IS still a little boy! "I know you are, but what am I?" Said a little voice in my mind! While eating dinner, Dad said, "I really have to wonder sometimes just how coincidental so-called coincidences are." Speaking to anyone who was interested. I doubt that anyone but Mom, me and himself understood. "Well, you certainly had fun talking to him, didn't you?" Mom said. At my querying look, Dad told me he spoke at length with Al's Dad, Alan Randall. "We laughed and connected the dots of so many lost years!" Dad said. "I'm going to his house Monday night for the game. While we were talking Al Junior came in and he overheard us and - - he asked his dad to ask you to come too. I thought you two hit it off pretty well!" I shrugged. Ev gave me a weird look. "By the way, Ben, Ranj called while you were asleep -- while I was talking to Alan. I told him to call back, but he said just to tell you that he's going back to school tomorrow morning and just wanted to say good bye." "Am I supposed to call him?" "He didn't say that, but it would be a nice gesture. It's obvious he still thinks the world of you." "Yeah -- okay. I guess I owe him that." I said. After dinner Etienne called to ask if I still wanted to go with him tomorrow. I told him of course and apologized for running away like that. "So -- how was he -- the little rich kid?" Said Etienne. "He doesn't really act rich -- I guess. He just thinks he's God's gift to women -- I think." "Yeah, I couldn't believe he just took off and left his girlfriend there." "Well, it's not as if she cared -- much!" I said. "She was tired anyway." Was I making excuses for the womanizer? "Well, you didn't see the pout on her face after he left with you. I think she's worried -- about you!" "Oh, give that up! He's not into guys! You should have seen him perform for this hot girl at the beach!" I said. " `Course she did a pole dance -- me being the pole -- for him." "Maybe trying to make him jealous?" Asked Etienne. "I don't think so. She dropped him for someone richer." "Ah! A gold digger!" "I think so. She wants her best shot at money and - - he wants a hot chick to make his sports car look better -- and by the way she was acting, I'm sure they have spent many hours in more intimate pursuits." "Acting?" "I told you that she was using ME for a pole dance." The dead silence told me Etienne didn't get it. "She rubbed her body all over me. I hoped that Al would come to my rescue. But all he did was laugh." (I didn't tell him what Al was laughing about!) "Well, I will pick you up at 8:00 AM. We have to be in Palos Verdes at 10:30, and I want to make sure we don't get lost." "Okay -- but two and a half hours?" I said. "Well - - we can go out to breakfast -- or something. My treat!" "O -- okay." I said. He gave me a few numbers to dial that evening, and we hung up. I couldn't get the picture out of my head of Cindy humping my side -- and my reaction to it and of course - - - Al's obvious "Is Ban Gay?" look. Notes: OMG! I am so dense! I never made the connection before this chapter of ... "Ben Gay!" Comments always appreciated. I try to answer them quickly. To Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks -- and love, Steve