I wake up. My body is aching. It's that sore feeling that I don't understand. I look to the right. My alarm clock is going off.
It's 12 pm...
How the fuck did I manage to sleep
until 12 pm!
I quickly run to the common area and go to the bathroom. I hear Evan speak to me but I ignore him. When I'm in the bathroom I shower relatively quickly. I'm so exhausted. I don't get it. I feel like I just ran a fuckin' marathon or something.
I feel so...exhausted.
It isn't until I come out of the shower that I realize it. My body. It's different. My muscles are...defined. What the fuck is going on? I had bird chest just the day before. Now I had pecs. Now I had abs! I look at the mirror in the bathroom wondering what the fuck is going on with my body.
There is a knock on the door.
"You ok, Nasir?"
I'm not sure how to answer him. I'm sore and feel like shit but my body looks better than ever. I look more healthy than I've ever looked in my life. I must be exaggerating. I feel like I put on at least 30 pounds of muscle---OVERNIGHT!
I don't know how else to respond to him. I'm not complaining about the body but damn. What the fuck is going on? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.
I get dressed and come out of the bathroom.
Evan is standing there. He isn't alone. At the stove is Walid. Walid is looking like his typical self. He's cooking something. It smells so fucking good. My mouth is watering as I look over at him. It's not just the food either. Walid is BEYOND sexy. I can't help but to glare at him. My mouth is watering for him too. He has on these sweatpants and that's it. I can tell he has nothing underneath them. I can see how it clings to his body. The sweatpants are barely hanging on his slim waist.
"You missed freshman orientation," Evan states.
I find it hard to pay attention to
him. I'm looking at Walid. He's making a steak. My chest warms up as though I just took a
shot of bourbon. My body is...on
FIRE. Walid must notice me staring at
him from the kitchen. He turns to
me. We make eye contact.
Then he does the weirdest thing. He licks his lips.
Evan puts his hand on my shoulder,
I try to snap to reality. It's so hard. I'm not even pretending like I'm not staring at Walid. It's hard not to pretend like I'm not. My dick is hard. My stomach is growling. I'm not sure if I want to eat, fuck or fight. My mind is going in circles.
"I said you missed freshman orientation," Evan replied.
I look completely past Evan and I'm staring at Walid. He isn't making anything else with the steak. Nothing but pure...protein...
"Can you stop being a square?"
Walid tells Evan, "Everyone skips freshman orientation. You don't need that shit."
"I wasn't speaking to you," Evan replies.
I see a tension between them. It's the first time I've seen them interact and it's not really a friendly one. Walid laughs in reaction to Evan though. It's a cocky, arrogant laugh that seems to crawl under Walid's skin. Normally I hate behavior like that but right now my attraction from Walid has gone past 10.
"Look, Evan," I tell him, "I'm
pretty hungry. You got anything to eat?"
"India was supposed to bring some groceries. She got caught up with something last night though. I'll text her..."
"You can have some of my meat," Walid tells me.
I want to thank him. I want to tell him that I don't eat meat. I want to say all these things but instead I just nod. It's almost like some instinct inside of me is taking over.
Evan and I both turn to Walid. He has this sly smile on his face. God this boy is sexy. Walid definitely has that bad boy thing going on for him. He has the tattoos. He has the muscular body. He has the confidence. He has the dark features. He has that stare.
He stares at me almost like I AM that piece of meat.
My heart races.
"No thanks," Evan says.
"Actually...I don't mind," I reply.
Walid walks over to the table. He puts a huge steak on the dining room table in the common room. The meat has barely been cooked. It looks rare. It's dripping with blood. Evan looks down at it almost disgusted but for some reason I can't help myself.
I walk over to the plate and start eating in front of Walid.
Evan looks confused, "Nasir...are
At first I'm confused on why he's asking me. It's not until I realize that I haven't picked up a knife or fork. I'm grabbing the meat with hands. I'm ripping through it.
Al of a sudden I realize Evan and Walid looking at me. They both have very different reactions. Evan looks worried. Walid looks amused.
Blood is dripping down my fucking chin.
I don't know what's going on with me.
"I'm late for class..."
I don't know what to do. I end up taking a walk to the University nurse before I get to class. Her name is Nurse Tiny or something stupid like that. She isn't much help. She tells me I'm in great condition and then sends me off with a goddam sticker. I wonder if I should tell her that just the day before I was a skinny, bony anorexic looking girly boy. I'm afraid I'll look crazy though so I just shut my mouth.
I mean...I'm not complaining. Maybe...I had a growth spurt...just later in life.
I don't know.
My first class of the day is Mathematics. It's mostly freshman in this class and they all look just as nervous as I do. I hardly pay attention really. I'm staring at my bicep the entire time. This thing grew out of no where. I grab onto it and it feels hard...like a fucking brick.
As I walk out of the class I notice this boy standing there. He's dressed in all black. He stares at me almost like he knows me. He's a black boy with a handsome defined face. His head is bald. He has big sexy looking lips that part as he stares at me. His lips are the most attractive tint of pink. Underneath are pearly white teeth.
He has an intensity as he looks at me. That is when I notice something. He smells different. It's not a bad smell. It's just a...smell. He's not close enough for me to be smelling him but nonetheless I smell it...
I almost walk into someone. I turn and notice that it's India.
She smiles at me, "You ok?"
I turn to where the boy in black was. He's not there any longer.
"Did you see that?" I ask.
I shake my head, "Nothing. Nevermind."
"You ok Nasir?" my cousin asks me, "I went to drop off some groceries earlier and Evan said you were acting a little funny."
India is looking at me strange. I don't blame her. I am acting strange. Hell. I'm feeling strange. I don't know what's happening to me.
"I just been feeling...funny. Like yesterday I saw a wolf..."
"Baby, you in the mountains. We see wolves all the time. They are used to humans though. Don't mess with them they won't mess with you," India tells me.
"It attacked me," I reply.
India rolls her eyes, "You so
dramatic. Where is the scar?"
I don't have one. Maybe she's right. Mabye I was being dramatic. Maybe I imagined the wolf biting on my ass because there wasn't even a bite mark there. I had to have imagined it, but still. Everything was weird today.
"Well then why do I feel so weird today. I feel like
maybe I have like...rabies or something. I
don't know. I ate raw meat."
"I'm a vegetarian..."
India laughs, "Does it have to do with the fact that Walid offered you the meat?"
My eyes turn to her, "Where are you
"Listen. I've always known you were...different," India replies, "Everyone knows...including your dad. No one says anything because we're waiting for you to tell us. You know, boo. Tell us about. You know. Damn, you not going to make me say this shit are you, because I don't want to say it."
"India what are you talking about?"
"You know. That you are a little. You know," India sighs, "That you may be batting for a different team."
"You think I'm experiencing all these things because I'm gay!"
I'm louder than I expect to be. People walking past us stop. I notice at that moment that Evan actually walks past and stops.
"Did I just walk in on you coming
out of the closet..."
Evan turns about to walk away but India grabs him.
"Tell him what you told me earlier, about how he was looking at Walid."
Great. Now Evan was gossiping to his girlfriend about me. It was my second day at this stupid school and already I had drama going on. Evan looks reluctant to talk about it. I should have known he was going to mention to my cousin how odd I was acting. I slept until noon. I missed freshman orientation. I ate MEAT for the first time in 10 years.
Evan just sighs a little bit before
finally confessing, "Look. Nasir. I didn't know what the two of you had going
on earlier. I felt like I was in
some...gay fetish scene. The staring. Then the masturbation..."
"Masturbation? I didn't masturbate."
"He did. As soon as you left Walid ran to his room put on porn as loud as he could and started beating his meat like it did something to him."
My mouth drops open a little bit.
"Listen, what Evan and I are trying
to say is we don't mind if you want to be yourself. I was on the Gay-Straight alliance in high
school. People...change. You have urges.
Evan nods, "Most definitely. 100% cool with you being gay."
India smiles, "Now about you and
Walid. I used to date Walid. Walid is sexy. You're preaching to the choir..."
Evan turns his girlfriend, "Hey...watch it now..."
"Sexy isn't everything though. Walid is...a man whore. You need to stay away from him. If you want to be gay that's great. All I'm saying is maybe you should choose someone else to be gay with. That man breaks hearts..."
"This isn't about me being gay," I reply.
"Then what is it?" India asks.
My week goes by and finally the sore body starts being so sore. Strange shit doesn't stop happening though.
I see the bald black boy all the time. He's in all my classes. He's damn near everywhere I go. And he just stares.
I'm sitting in Survival class. It's Friday.
Survival class was taught by a strange man. Professor Timus. The class is smaller than the other classes that I've attended. He teaches it in a woody area behind the old Cathedral building. Professor Timus is younger. He has to be maybe 30 or so. He is black with a thick beard and tall firm disposition. He looks like he should be cutting down these trees or something. There are only 6 of us and one of them just so happens to be that boy. The boy continues to stare at me every chance he gets. He sits away from me. He's extremely quiet. He doesn't talk at all. He just sits there.
"The most important thing to
survival in the wild is fire. Fire keeps
away the predators."
"Like wolves?" I ask.
I don't know what makes me say that. Professor Timus looks over at me. It's the first time I've spoken in class. I guess having that quiet boy around makes me more nervous than I would like to admit. The quiet boy stares over at me. His eyes glance at me. We exchange a hard glance then he looks away. I have to admit he's attractive.
smiles, "Wolves are usually shy and cautious around humans. However wolves who are provoked, cornered or
trapped may be danger to humans. Those
in highly modified environments may also lash out."
"Isn't this a highly modified environment?" I ask.
The professor stares at me, "Excuse
"The school. Aren't we modifying the wolves territory? What if they...attack..."
"What's your name?" the professor asks me.
"Nasir. Nasir Butler."
The professor looks at me and nods, "I knew your brother. He used to ask the same questions as you. Very curious about wolves. Maybe you should come visit me during office hours. I can go into as much detail as you like. Until then...let's all work on building us a fire..."
He knew my brother.
I wonder if he knew how my brother died. I remain quiet the rest of the day.
My hunger only continues. I find myself asking for more and more meat. I'm addicted to the things. By the second week I'm eating five steaks a day. Everyday I put on two pounds. It's not fat though. It's pure muscle. It's the middle of the week and I'm walking with Evan. I don't talk to him much about what I've been going through. The guy already thinks I'm fucking crazy clearly.
"Did you hear Walid last night?" Evan is talking to me.
"Him and that THOT he had in his room," Evan shakes his head in a judgmental way, "That boy has a different girl in there every day."
I can tell Evan is annoyed by it. I am hardly paying attention to him.
"Hey...Evan I'll be right back."
We are outside of the old Cathedral building. I had told Evan that I would walk him to his class since I didn't have anything much to really do. I notice something strange though. Behind the cathedral I see a familiar face.
It's the quiet boy who stares at me all the time.
I find myself following behind him. There is something about him that I just can't put my finger on. He walks behind the school. I follow him keeping a distance between us. I notice however that he's in the woods in the back where the Survival class usually is. From across the yard I can see he's talking to someone...
He's talking to Mr. Timus.
They are so far and for some reason I wish I was close enough to hear them. And for some reason from so far away...all of a sudden I CAN hear them.
I don't know how it's possible but their voices are so clear. I hide behind the building.
Why would Professor Timus be meeting with the quiet boy?
The older taller professor seems to be whispering to him, "He wasn't ready..."
Even though he's whispering I hear it as clear as if they were two feet away from me. My hearing is amazing...
The boy shakes his head at that moment, "That's not up to you to decide Tim."
"It's not up to you either. The Alpha will be pissed."
"Fuck the Alpha."
"You're playing with fire..."
"Our beloved Alpha killed Qadir..."
"What are you doing over here?"
The voice comes from no where shocking me. I turn to see India. She is so fucking good at that. She appears out of no where. India grabs onto my shoulder. I turn to see where the Professor and the quiet boy are. The quiet boy is no where to be seen. The professor is looking my way. He sees me. He waves and smiles.
It's almost like...almost like he heard India and I.
I wave back.
"Nothing. Just um...nothing..."
India raises an eyebrow, "Are you sure? That's Professor Timus over there. He's my favorite teacher. Have you had the chance to meet him? I can introduce you if you're shy."
"I know him...I..."
"Well let's go say hi..." India says grabbing my hand.
I'm hesitating! No! Hell no! I heard what Professor Timus was talking about with that quiet boy. Someone killing Qadir. Qadir wasn't some normal name. My brother died and it seemed like that quiet boy and the professor knew EXACTLY what happened to him. My brother was killed though? I didn't expect that.
The professor is walking my way.
I shake India's grasp loose just in time.
"I actually have a term paper to
"Tell Professor Timus I said hello," I reply.
I turn and walk away.
I find myself back at the cabin. I'm sitting in the common area around a fire. The fire flickers. It feels like forever Christmas here. Still the conversation that I heard distracts me.
My brother was...killed?
I find myself calling my father at that moment. No luck. Voicemail.
"Dad. I'm just reaching out because. I don't know.
Weird things have been happening here.
I was wondering if you knew any more information about how Qadir died. I know
it sounds random as hell but. Can you
just give me a call back when you get this?"
I hang up my cellphone and stare at it. Something weird is happening at Vanderbilt.
I turn to see Walid. This time he has on a pair of boxers and nothing else. He walks out of his bedroom and into the common area of the cabin. He lean bodies reflects the light of the fireplace. He walks slowly and stares at me in the darkness.
I have to admit the guy is pretty sexy.
He walks slowly...intensely. He paces around the room.
"I figured you would be with that guy...what's his name again? Evan?"
I almost want to laugh. Evan is our roommate. You would think Walid would take the time to learn the guy's name. Walid seems to care less though.
"He's in night class."
Walid smiles "Nice. First time we really get to be alone and chat huh? Or were you busy?"
I had no idea Walid was trying to be alone with me.
"I'm just trying to reach my Dad."
"I heard. You were wondering about Qadir."
"You knew him?"
"We were best friends at one
point," Walid said, "I'm surprised your cousin India didn't tell you. Then again she's never been my greatest
"You guys used to date?" I ask Walid.
Walid is standing close to me. He towers over me and his shadow falls down. He smells so fucking good. I don't know if he does it on purpose. As I'm sitting on the couch though his crotch is almost about a foot from me. I can smell him. A strong man scent fills my nose.
Walid looks down at me. His strong beautiful eyes pierce me.
"I don't date...I fuck..."
Walid says it in the most nonchalant way. I would be offended that he's basically saying him and my cousin were fuck buddies but India never was the type to need someone defending her.
"I fuck hard," Walid says.
He says it almost bluntly almost like I should be impressed.
"There's something different about you...from the first time I saw you," Walid says.
Finally someone seems to be acknowledging it.
"You look stronger. You smell...so...fucking...good..."
Walid is close to me now. He's closer than I feel comfortable as. He is sniffing me. I'm so turned on by this for some weird reason. His nose presses up against my neck. He's almost...like an animal how he does it. His crotch presses up against me as well as he leans over onto my chair. He sniffs my neck. It tickles in a way. He doesn't stop though. His lips slowly brush past the tiny hairs on my chin that I didn't even realize were there until now.
He goes up until his lips are only inches from mine.
"What---what are you doing?" I stutter.
My heart is racing so fast.
That is when he does the weirdest
thing. He licks me. He licks my lips. His tongue swaps me leaving my lips covered
in his saliva.
"I'm going to fuck you. All night long," he tells me, "You're going to bend over. I'm going to dick you down. Raw. No condom. No lube. Just spit."
He grabs me all of a sudden. I'm shocked as it happens. He's so strong. He doesn't even straight to pick me up. I'm shocked as Walid throws me over his shoulder almost like a caveman and takes me to his bedroom!
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