This story is fiction. The city of Clifton, and the University of Clifton, exist only in my imagination. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. These stories have as their main character a sexually active gay college student. If this is offensive to you, or if it is illegal in your area, or if you are under age, please leave now.



This story involves a search for personal acceptance, worth, and meaning. There is a religious element in these stories. If you don't like that, maybe now is a good time to leave.



My stories develop slowly. If you're in a hurry, this is probably not for you.



Thanks to Colin for editing.



Constructive comments are welcome on my e-mail at pertinax.carrus@gmail.com.



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Bryce, Chapter 47 - Finis



It was a teary eyed and much relieved Bryce who delivered his father to the airport at Clifton on that Monday evening. The three men ate something as Sterling waited for his flight to be announced. He departed after receiving a warm hug from Bryce, and then, after only a momentary hesitation, from Damon as well. Sterling must have called home as soon as they parted, because Bryce had no sooner returned to his room than his phone rang. It was his mother, also crying with relief and excitement, happy that Bryce and Damon would be returning to Lincoln for Christmas. She informed her son that tickets for him and for Damon would be in the mail the next day. Then, she insisted on speaking to Damon. Their conversation went on much longer than usual, but when it was over, Damon seemed extremely pleased at something.

"What are you and Mom plotting?" Bryce suspiciously asked.

"Nothing," Damon replied.

"Oh, oh. That makes me doubly suspicious."

"No, really," Damon insisted. It's just that ... that ..."

"What! It's just what!" Bryce almost shouted.

"She called me 'Son,'" Damon said.

"Oh, boy! Mom's done it again. Damon, that's just a normal way mothers have of speaking to younger males. What did your mother call you?"

"'Little bastard,' mostly. That's when she was in a good mood," Damon reflected. "But your mom called me 'Son.' You have the greatest family. You're a real hard ass for putting them through so much grief."

"Oh great! Now my boyfriend has made common cause with my folks. I'll never escape," Bryce moaned, but his performance was not entirely convincing, as he kissed Damon immediately after making this accusation.

Tuesday, December 8, was an important day. First of all, it was the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, which, Bryce explained to Damon, was a holyday of obligation, meaning Catholics were obliged to attend Mass unless it was a severe inconvenience. Secondly, it was the day on which Sigma Alpha Tau fraternity would vote on the applications of the pledges for membership.

At the gym that morning, Bryce spoke with Curtis, who was interested in the outcome of Sterling's visit. He was happy to report that his father had accepted him as a gay man, and Damon as his partner. Curtis congratulated him. He added, "I sure wish Maddy and her folks could reach some kind of understanding. It's awkward, you know. But there's Bobby's death between them. I don't really think they'll ever be able to overcome that." Bryce considered that he was very fortunate. Even if Chip continued to be a horse's ass, he had the acceptance of his parents and his sister. How many Bobbys were there? How long would it take before people quit being so damned stupid?

When Bryce returned to the dorm, he looked at Damon snuggled down in the bed. They had spent the night together, of course. He looked so beautiful, asleep like that. Bryce remembered that his very first impression of Damon was that he was beautiful. He seemed to grow more beautiful each day. Of course, that did not prevent Bryce from filling his water pistol at the cold water spigot, and dousing Damon from a safe distance as usual. His aim seemed to be more accurate than normal, as Damon came awake sputtering and cursing, flailing about him.

"Stop it! Turn that damned thing off! I'm awake, already!" Damon insisted.

"I could squirt you from now till Doomsday and not even the score after all the embarrassing things you said about me to Dad," Bryce insisted.

"Remind me never to say anything nice about you again," Damon muttered as he made his way to the shower.

Before the Milton class met, Bryce was asked by both Mike and Maddy about how the visit of his father had turned out. He was able to tell them, as he had Curtis, that all seemed to be well. Maddy got a longing, pained look in her eyes, which Bryce fully understood. Mike, however, was exuberant, insisting that he knew things would turn out well. He also informed Bryce that he was going to meet David's parents over the holidays, and hoped for the best. Jennifer Simpson appeared, informing Bryce that she and David had a long talk over the Thanksgiving break. As a result, she had dropped the obnoxious boy she had been dating at the time of Mike's fraternity party, and was working to help David convince their parents to accept him. Bryce noted that he had tons of arguments they could use, so maybe they should get together soon and go over them.

After class, Bryce met with Damon, who already knew his boyfriend would be going off to meet with his other best friend at noon. They talked, with Damon rejecting every argument Bryce put forward for accepting Henry Clay and the African Colonization Society. After all, as Damon pointed out, if they had been successful, he and Bryce would never have met. Besides, wasn't it a bit hypocritical to try to ship all blacks back to Africa without also trying to ship all whites back to Europe? That stumped Bryce, so he gave up on that argument, allowing Damon to enjoy his victory.

Bryce appeared at St. Boniface shortly before the noon Mass, which would once again be said by the aged priest-in-residence, Father Kelley. There were a lot more worshipers present than the previous times he had attended the noon Mass, but this was a holyday. At this Mass, Bryce was not only fulfilling an obligation, but was also expressing his thanks for the way his father's visit turned out. He had answered all the questions which worried him at the beginning of the semester. He had accepted his own sexual orientation. He had worked out in discussions with Father Miller his relationship with his Church. And finally he had been accepted by his family ... at least by those members who really mattered to him. In addition to all that, he had a partner in Damon who, he felt, would compliment him, and be around for a very long time. Consequently, after receiving Our Lord in communion, he knelt and thanked Jesus for favors received. Lord, you have been so good to me. Thank you, that Dad was able to accept me and Damon. Thank you for my family. Thank you for Damon. My heart is no longer restless, Lord. You have answered my prayers. Thank you for everything. Bryce remained kneeling for several minutes. Then, he was delighted to receive that feeling of acceptance and well-being which he associated with the presence of Jesus in his life. With a big grin, he added, Thanks for being there. When, at the end of Mass, Father Kelley pronounced the blessing, then said, "The Mass is ended. Go in Peace." Bryce truly felt the peace he had been looking for. Yeah, that was good.

Back on campus, he grabbed a snack before showing up at the John Cabell Breckinridge Fitness Center for his karate lesson. He saw Damon before his boyfriend trotted off confidently to his soccer lesson, noting the air of being completely in control which characterized Damon today, so much more attractive than the hesitations at the beginning of the semester. Then, his mind still full of Damon, Bryce turned to Caroline and his last karate class. But today it was not Caroline who put him through his paces, but Ms. Cheng, the instructor. Inspired perhaps by Damon's sense of confidence, Bryce went through his exercises without a flaw. When he had completed his workout, he was again dripping with sweat, but his instructor smiled at him.

"Congratulations, Mr. Winslow. That was flawless. You may go now. See you next semester."

"Huh?" Bryce said, looking at his wristwatch, as Ms. Cheng moved on to the next student, "It's not time for class to end. And what's this about next semester?"

"Weren't you paying attention at the beginning of class?" Caroline demanded. "Ms. Cheng said we can leave after she tests us, and if we do well enough today, we need not come back for the exam period next week."

"Really?"

"Honestly, Bryce! Even when you do well, you're impossible!" Caroline declared.

That evening, all the pledges gathered at the Sigma Alpha Tau house. They sat quietly or talked in a low voice as the brothers met to determine their fate. It did not take long. After about a half hour, the sergeant-at-arms opened the door, and all the brothers who had served as mentors emerged. The pledges were lined up in alphabetical order, which meant that Watson and Winslow were at the end of the line. Next to each pledge, his mentor walked as they processed into the council chamber. The lights were low. The officers of the fraternity were all seated at a long table, which was lit by candles. Dr. Dickinson sat to one side, as he had the time Bryce came to the chamber to deliver the message of Jim Maguire back in October. On the table, between two lit candles, was a plaque on which the symbols of the fraternity were engraved. Around the plaque was a sturdy iron chain. Beneath it on a scroll lay the motto, copula inrupta.

The pledges were lined up facing the table and the officers, each with his mentor standing behind him, with his right hand on his shoulder. Curtis Manning strode out to stand next to the items on the table, on the same side as the pledges. "Pledges," he intoned, "you have been found worthy to join Sigma Alpha Tau, a society of gentlemen scholars with an honorable past. Before you are fully admitted, I will instruct you one last time in the arcana of the order, and administer to you the oath of membership." Curtis then discussed the plaque, explaining each of the symbols including the meanings attached to the Greek letters sigma, alpha, and tau. Then he picked up the chain, which had been forged into a circle, so there was no beginning or end. "This chain represents the bond which binds the brothers of Sigma Alpha Tau." He approached one of the pledges. "See the motto of the fraternity?" he said, pointing to the words copula inrupta on the scroll.

"Yes, sir," the pledge said.

"What does it mean?" Curtis asked.

"The unbroken chain, sir," the pledge answered.

"Yes, the unbroken chain. Each of you is like one link in this chain. As long as each link is strong, the entire chain is strong. It has no beginning and no end. You will be bound in brotherhood to all those who have gone before you, and all those who will come after you. It is up to each of you to prove, by your faithfulness and integrity, that you will never betray the brotherhood by breaking the chain. Sigma Alpha Tau is forever. In just one moment, I will administer to you the oath of membership. It binds you to each of your brothers just as this chain binds each link to the others. If you cannot take, or cannot keep this oath, this is your last opportunity to leave now. Violation of your oath will bring you disgrace as a gentleman and dismissal from our ranks," Curtis paused.

There were no takers, as each pledge remained in place.

Then, Curtis went down the line, asking each mentor if the pledge on whose shoulder he had his right hand had completed all the requirements for membership. As he came to the end of the line, Curtis asked, "Brother Keith Andrew Hamilton, do you solemnly swear that this pledge, James Bryce Winslow, has fulfilled all the requirements for membership, and is worthy to be a member of Sigma Alpha Tau?"

Keith responded, "I do so swear."

Then Curtis returned to the center in front of the table. There he read out the oath the pledges were asked to take, swearing themselves to assist all brothers in all things lawful, to uphold the honor of the fraternity, and to maintain silence about the affairs of the brotherhood when speaking to any outsider. He then commanded, "Pledges, raise you right hands and repeat after me." He then repeated in easy phrases the required oath. When the swearing in was complete, Curtis said, "You may lower your hands, brothers."

There was applause from the assembled brothers, the lights went up, and Bryce realized that he was now a member of Sigma Alpha Tau fraternity. He turned to Damon beside him, and with a huge grin, shook hands and clasped him around the shoulders. "We made it!" Damon shouted. He was practically jumping up and down in his excitement, while at the same time tears coursed down his cheeks.

"Hold still," DuBois insisted. "If you keep bobbing up and down, I won't be able to attach this pin to your shirt."

Bryce turned, to find Keith likewise prepared to pin him, with a big grin on his face. As he pinned the emblem of the fraternity to Bryce's collar, Keith said, "Congratulations. If anybody ever earned the right to membership, it's you and Damon." After attaching the pin, Keith shook Bryce's hand.

The celebration extended into the late evening. Bryce was impressed once again with how much this meant to Damon, as his boyfriend seemed to walk on air all evening. His spirits were high, and he had a perpetual smile.

During the evening, Dr. Dickinson shook Bryce's hand, congratulating him. Quietly, he asked, "Did all go well with your father's visit yesterday?"

"Yes, sir. Dad left yesterday evening. Before he did, he accepted me for what I am, and he accepted Damon as my partner. I couldn't ask for more."

"Excellent! Capital! I am delighted that there is no impediment to your appearance in my office, and my classroom, again next semester," the Professor congratulated him.

Bryce grinned. "Me, too."

The following day, Wednesday, December 9, was the last day of regular classes of the fall semester. During the lunch period, Damon happened to see Robert Blanton enter the cafeteria shortly before they had to leave for Biology. He could not resist. He manoeuvered himself and Bryce into the immediate neighborhood of Blanton, then said in a loud voice, "That was a really impressive ceremony last night, when we were admitted to Sigma Alpha Tau, wasn't it?" As he hoped, Blanton's head jerked up, as Mr. Aeropostale took a good look at the man who had succeeded where he had failed.

On the way to Audubon Hall, Bryce said, "That was nasty. Did Mr. Aeropostale really deserve that?"

Damon looked like he was giving that serious consideration. Then he responded, "Yeah. Definitely."

It had been one of the demands of the students many years ago that there be a full week of preparation time between the last class and the beginnings of final examinations, so the period from after the last class on that Wednesday until the first examination the following Wednesday was known as "Study Week." It wasn't quite a full week, but no one seemed to notice. How much actual studying took place varied a great deal, but both of Bryce's study groups scheduled meetings during that period. Bryce had no need to take finals in Freshman Orientation or Karate, but he would give serious attention to reviewing French, Psychology, Biology, History, and English during these days. Damon would do the same. Of course, they would prepare for Biology together.

There was also the end-of-semester party at Sigma Alpha Tau. Curtis, Keith, DuBois, and other brothers assured Bryce and Damon that this would be the very best party of the entire semester. SAT always held such a party on the Friday following the last class. It was supposed to celebrate a successful semester, and relax the brothers and their guests for the rigors of finals. Bryce expressed some skepticism about how much the party helped with finals, but he was firmly told to shut up by his boyfriend. Instead of the pledges doing all the grunt work, at this party there was a rotation system. Each brother, including the new ones, were assigned a period of service and a particular job, but they would be free for most of the evening to enjoy the festivities. There was plenty of food and drink, and once again a band was hired for the event. Bryce worked the door again, but only for a short time, after which he was free to socialize with his brothers and the guests of the fraternity. Damon, likewise, had most of the evening free. Both men had dates, mostly because Kitty insisted that she wanted to attend this party, and likewise insisted that Caroline attend as well. However, Caroline was playing in the orchestra for a performance of 1776, so would not be available until it let out. It was agreed that Bryce would meet her then, and walk her to the party.

Bryce and Damon both fulfilled their service obligations during the early hours of the evening. While on the door, Bryce had the pleasure of welcoming Mike and David to the party. He likewise greeted Wayne Diebold and his date. Despite teasing hints about a discount for friends, he collected twenty dollars from each of the male students. About 9:30, as a really fast dance piece was being played, Damon and Kitty again put on a show, as they had at Mike's fraternity a few weeks previously, and were applauded by the assembly.

As a panting Damon and Kitty came off the dance floor, DuBois greeted his former pledge. "I guess from now on we won't have to worry about entertainment. It'll be provided by one of our own brothers."

"I can't do it alone," Damon panted. "Kitty's a part of this act, too."

Kitty kissed Damon on the cheek. "Thanks. I hope this means I get invited to lots more SAT parties."

"You know it," Damon promised.

"I wish I could get DuBois to dance like that, but he's too proper," Sheila teased her date.

"It's not that. I just don't bend that way," DuBois insisted.

Later, Damon noticed DuBois and Sheila heading upstairs, and grinned. It looked like his mentor and friend would score that evening.

After fetching her from the music auditorium, Bryce made certain that Caroline had food and drink, and enjoyed dancing with her too, when the music was not too fast.

Bryce asked David Simpson how his family was doing accepting him and Mike, thinking of the problems he had encountered.

"They're definitely not thrilled," David related. "My dad is more accepting. He said something about having learned to get along with lots of different people in the army. Mom is more of a problem. The church we go to is not accepting at all, and Mom is pretty religious."

Again, Bryce mentioned that he had spent "countless hours" discussing this with the Catholic chaplain, and had lots of arguments he might be able to use.

"Not if Mom knows they came from a Catholic," David said. "She thinks the pope is the Antichrist and other such stuff. Her preacher is on that bandwagon even more than he is on the gay-bashing one. If she found out I went to the Catholic church with Mike, she'd be even more upset than if she caught me in bed with him."

Bryce sighed. "Well, I'll send you the stuff I have, and you can decide whether any of it might be useful. But, my impression is that fundamentalists don't distinguish between what is doctrine and what is discipline, and without that, most of my arguments fall flat."

"What's that all about?" David asked.

"Not now," Mike interrupted. "This is a party. If you guys want a theological forum, schedule it some other time."

"Yes, sir," Bryce said, coming to attention and saluting.

Shortly after this exchange, about 11:30, David again asked Mike to dance with him, as he had at their party previously. This time, Mike accepted without hesitation. They were joined by Bryce and Damon. No matter what some party-goers might have thought, no one made a fuss about it. When their time on the dance floor ended, Bryce and Damon walked to the sidelines.

Curtis said to Bryce, "That was cute, but you'll never rival Kitty for entertainment value."

Bryce grinned. "Where is Kitty, by the way?"

"Oh, she went upstairs with that football player," Curtis replied.

"Football player?"

"Yeah, you know. Wayne somebody."

Bryce grinned. Wayne was doing okay for himself.

A few moments later, Bryce felt someone beside him, and a voice said, "That was awesome, man."

He turned to find Jason Todd, the saxophonist in the jazz combo, beside him. "What was awesome, Jason?"

"Walking out there and dancing with your partner. I'm going to have to come to grips with that some day."

Realizing what Jason was telling him, Bryce said seriously, "You'll feel better about yourself when you do. If you want to talk sometime, I'm available."

"Thanks." Jason disappeared into the crowd.

Sunday, 13 December, was the Third Sunday of Advent. Once again, Damon decided to accompany Bryce to Mass. It seems that Damon has decided that Bryce needs his company on Sundays, and Bryce was not about to refuse it. Once again, Mike was accompanied by David Simpson. The four men and the rest of the Sandovals entered the church and sat together. This was another Father Payne Sunday as far as the sermon was concerned. When he began his sermon, the priest told his listeners to "rid yourselves of all evil influences as a preparation for the coming of Christ." Okay, that was acceptable. But then, when he began to discuss those "evil influences" it did not take long before he was ranting about the gay agenda. Bryce looked at Damon about the same time that Mike nudged David. A glance towards Isobel resulted in agreement. The entire party stood and walked out. Just as they had in Lincoln, they stopped in the vestibule, as it was cold outside. One of the ushers came out to see what was wrong.

"Is someone sick?" he asked.

"Only that idiot in the pulpit," Isobel Sandoval replied.

The usher sighed. "I can't wait until July," he commented. They knew he was not talking about the weather, but the change in priestly assignments. As they returned after the collection had been taken up, the usher mentioned that their seats had been held for them.

That afternoon they had to deliver the bad news to DeShawn and Malcolm that, beginning in two weeks, they would again be away for the holidays. This time, they would miss two Sundays before returning. Eight year old DeShawn squared his shoulders and declared, "I'll take your place helping the Deacon while you're gone." Bryce hugged him.

The following week was taken up in studying and taking exams. The Sigma Alpha Tau meeting on Tuesday evening was brief, consisting in congratulations to the new brothers, and a report on the party. The fraternity almost broke even, as far as expenses were concerned, as there had been plenty of paying guests. Bob Balducci, the Treasurer, reported "no untoward incidents," causing extra outlay. Curtis turned and grinned at Bryce and Damon at that. "No untoward incidents" seemed like a good way of expressing their acceptance.

Although finals week extended through Wednesday, 23 December, both Bryce and Damon were finished with their exams on Tuesday morning. As Martha Winslow had been informed of their schedules, she had booked flights to Lincoln on Tuesday afternoon. As the guys completed their packing, Damon approached Bryce.

"Here," he said, shoving a wrapped package in Bryce's direction. "I don't want to wait until we're at your place."

Bryce accepted the small package. "Thanks, Damon. Can I open it now?"

"Sure."

Bryce opened the gift, shedding wrapping paper on the floor. Inside he found a recording of Bach's Second Brandenburg Concerto featuring Adolf Scherbaum on the trumpet.

"Geez. I never did get around to ordering that. Thanks, Damon," Bryce said, clearly moved by the gift. He kissed Damon. Then, he reached into his backpack and extracted a large envelope. "Here, this is for you."

Damon opened the envelope. It was from African Ancestry in Washington, D.C. In it, there was a certificate and cover letter, certifying that DNA testing indicated that Damon A. Watson was descended in the direct male line from ancestors belonging to the Bambara speaking people of West Africa.

Damon looked astonished. "How did you ....?"

"I have never had trouble getting samples of your DNA," Bryce replied to the unfinished question.

They almost missed their flight.



Causa finita est, Deo gratias.