By The Way
Chapter 12
Hey y’all, I’d like to invite
you to
my new group. It’s called Logan’s Lit and can be found at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/logans_lit/
We're going to dance,
We're going to dance,
We're going to dance
And have some fun....
Your groove I do deeply dig,
No walls only the bridge
My supperdish, my succotash wish.
(Sing it, baby)
I couldn't ask for another....
No I couldn't ask for another...
(name that tune!)
* * * * *
* * * * * *
Man oh man, what a night that
was! I'm talking about prom night. I could make a ton of
really
crass comments like how funny I might have walked the next day, but it
was so much more than just sex. For the both of us. Yeah we
were seventeen and we had the world on a string, but we honestly
believed that we'd be together for the rest of our lives, and that we
could overcome any troubles, boundaries or distances. It's sort
of funny how you look back and you think, shit on a stick how could I
have been such a dope? I can't remember what it is that is
supposedly wasted on the young, but whoever made that up knew what in
the hell they were talking about. Sometimes optimism is also
wasted on the young.
Alan and I were able to keep our relationship, or at least how deep it
actually had grown, from everyone. Oh, Deanna would ask
questions,
always wondering if we had a "thing" going or not but I'd just insist
that he and I were only friends, and that I was just pining away
because of it. She probably had the truth figured out because
she's just smart that way.
Like I had mentioned before I was hanging out a lot with the guys in
the band. I felt an instant bond, mainly with Scott, Philip and
Matt. Glen still wasn't talking all that much; just like I
remembered back in the seventh grade. The other guys had some
funny stories about him that they'd share. That never bothered
him because he's always been able to laugh at himself. The band
guys were really the most unpretentious group of guys that I'd been
around. The other people I hung out with were still sort of into
that
high school cliquy sort of thing. Of course the jocks that I hung
out were an obvious clique. Like in any typical high school,
jocks usually hung out
together or with the "pretty people." It was just a fluke that
I had been included in that group by several guys. I guess I have
my piano playing to thank for that. Anyway I was completely aware
of the segregated groups in the school, but somehow I melded in with
most types. Except for the smokers, maybe. I had friends
that were into the punk scene, preps, the studious types, the jocks,
you name it. But until I played for Adrianne I'd never been
around the guys in the band when they were in their element. By
that I mean in their musical element. The Music Hall in school
was sort of it's own world and I had been accepted into it, without
even having to try.
But that acceptance happened much too late, in my opinion. I'd
been in high school for five
years (not because I'm stupid but because when I was there our school
was an 8-12 grade school) and some friends had come and gone.
Some had come, gone and returned. And some just sort of fused
into my life. I thought it bittersweet that I would be graduating
in about seven weeks and yet for the first time I really felt like I'd
belonged. Looking back now I see that I only really felt accepted
when I started hanging out with the jocks. It was the band guys
that made me fell like I belonged.
There's a difference.
But I knew that the "belonging" feeling would change during the second
week of June when we finished high school. If I'd only had that
type of feeling and those kind of friendships years earlier.
We all know, however, that the grass is always greener. I still
had a blast and believe it or not I still have contact with several
people from back then. Maybe it was the fact that high school was
ending, but I could feel a change in the air, much like the night
that Don and I climbed Stone Mountain. Normally I welcome change
with open arms. This time was different. I felt that I had
to grasp it tight and hold on for dear life. I didn't want to
face the unknown. I was comfortable with my friends and in the
place that I'd spent for five years. So much had happened to me
during those five years. So much growing. Sometimes a
little pain, but mostly a lot of great times.
As an aside I think one thing that really sucks is how Stone Mountain
has become basically a ghetto. When I lived there it was one of
the nicer areas of Atlanta to live in. A few years after I
graduated the police were called out daily to the high school to handle
the thugs who'd
threaten teachers or mug other students. Many of the shops and
all of the theaters (there were four theaters with a total of fifteen
houses) have closed down and been abandoned. There are lots of
excuses for places that go through this kind of change, but there's
only
one true reason. It sucks that I can't drive down the street
where I
lived without worrying whether or not someone will jack me. It
sucks that right before my family moved away there would be police
helicopters flying overhead trying to chase the latest convenient store
robber. It sucks that I cannot walk the halls of the enormous
building that holds so many of my happy and daily memories, without
having to look past the graffiti and drug pushers. There's
progress for ya.
So graduation was sneaking up, yet at the same time rushing up, on us
all. Most of
the graduating class had college plans and I was no exception. My
hopes were to go to Georgia Tech for Architecture. Unfortunately
my SAT's weren't all that hot, almost 1200, but still not good enough
to get in. My alternative plan was to go to DeKalb
Community. Fine with me. I knew I'd be paying for college
myself and a small local college would be cheaper. Then after
getting a couple of years under my belt I could just transfer into Tech.
The last several weekends of my high school life were spent with the
band guys. I didn't
leave Alan in the dust. He was there with us from time to time,
when he could be. He and I definitely had a connection and had
gotten so close so quickly that even silences were not awkward between
us. A lot of times those silences were filled with moans and
groans and I think you know what I'm talking about. The guy was
starved for sex and I was more than willing to be his meals and
dessert. Sometimes he initiated sex, sometimes I did; other times
we both did. I always bottomed, which was totally fine with
me. I always had the belief that receiving him was the way that I
could give myself to him the most. He had no problem with that
but he was very active in reciprocating - he didn't just sit there like
a bump on a pickle while I did all the "work." We discovered lots
to do, sexually, and we did just about everything. Nothing gross
or kinky. Let's just say that our mouths and hands were totally
familiar with each others' body parts.
About four or five weeks before graduation the choir, which I was a
part of, started practicing the two songs for baccalaureate (God I hope
I spelled that one right). I don't remember what the first one
was called but the second song was called "Like An Eagle." Let's
see if I can remember the words after all this time....Like and eagle I
will soar across the sky, I will spread my wings and fly into the
sun. Like and eagle I will sail among the stars. I will fly
to places yet unseen, go beyond my wildest dreams, knowing you are
watching over me alone." We had one gal in our choir who was
really a good singer and she thought outside the box when it came to
music. During one of the first run throughs of the song she added
some background "ahhs" and "ooohs" which the choir teacher ended up
working into the song. There was some sort of sweetness to those
simple additions that changed the tone of the song completely.
About one third of the choir were graduating seniors and every morning
this song reminded us that one journey in our life was about to end and
another
begin.
The last week of school the senior exams were staggered kind of
oddly. We were to take our exams a week before the rest of the
school. The non-seniors would have exams in periods 1,3 & 5
on Monday, then 2,4 & 6 on Tuesday. Each class was two hours
long on those days. Really screwy. The seniors, on the
other
hand, had our exams a week before everyone else. Monday were
periods 4,5 & 6; Tuesday were periods 2 & 3; and Wednesday was
1st period exam. I think they did it that way so the least amount
of seniors would skip their other classes. Whatever. After
1st period exams were finished on Wednesday every senior from whatever
part of the
school they were in immediately ran into the cafeteria, which is in the
center of the school, and started whooping and hollering. We were
all clapping each other on the back, hugging, shouting, just going nuts
as all of the underclassmen walked around us to their classes.
Three hundred people hollering like that, well, it raised the hair on
my neck. That year a quartet called The Nylons covered a song
from the 60's called "Kiss Him Goodbye". You know; Na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na, hey hey hey, goodbye. While we were all celebrating
I turned to one of the band guys, Tim, who played the trumpet, and just
started singing that song at the top of my voice. Tim chimed in
as did some of the other senior band members, Suddenly everyone was singing that
song. It's a moment I'll never forget.
My high school days were unofficially over.
The next evening, Thursday, I helped the other choir members set up the
gym for the baccalaureate. Basically this is where you have the
class valedictorian and one or two other people giving long boring
speeches. When it came time for the choir to hit the risers and
sing a lot of the girls were tearing up. Some of us guys
too. The guy that I met at the football game on my birthday
party, Mike Logan, sang a duet with Adrianne in tribute to the girl
who'd died at the beginning of the year in the car wreck. They
both did a great job and how neither one of them cried during the song
is beyond
me. They sang "Somewhere" from West
Side Story, and must've put their minds in "another place" in
order to
get through it. At this point with all of the energy and
excitement of graduating more than a few seniors had tears rolling down
their cheeks, myself included. Shit, then we had to sing "Like An
Eagle." Oh, that was tough. I was standing in the middle of
the choir with the other basses, and literally all the senior girls and
the few other senior guys were either clutching my gown or my arm or my
shoulder. I'm not sure how this happened but some sort of weird
energy came over us all as we sang the song. It must have been
such an emotional evening for us all that the physical contact put us
over the top. We sang the song flawlessly, albeit tearfully.
Now is the time
To follow the wind
To walk alone
And a star will show the way
Above the clouds
Beyond the sea
And now is the time
And now and farewell
And as we part
You taught me well
You gave me strength
You showed the way
I'll not forget you
Like an eagle I will soar above the clouds
I will spread my wings and fly into the sun
Like an eagle I will race above the stars
I will fly to places yet unseen
Go beyond my wildest dreams
Know that you are watching over me
And all alone
I will follow the stars above
As my guide
As my guide
I trust in you
To show the way to me
Beyond the sea
And now is the time
And now and farewell
And as we part
You taught me well
You gave me strength
You showed the way
I'll not forget you
Like an eagle I will race above the stars
I will spread my wings and fly into the sun
Like an eagle I will race above the stars
I will fly to places yet unseen
Go beyond my wildest dreams
Know that you are watching over me
Alone, I can fly with the eagle to the mountain high
Race with the eagle so far beyond my dreams
Like an eagle I will fly
Like an eagle I will race above the stars
I will spread my wings and fly into the sun
Like an eagle I will soar above the clouds
I will fly to places yet unseen
Go beyond my wildest dreams
Know that you are watching over me
Like and eagle I will race above the stars
Like an eagle I will fly
Like an eagle I will fly
Finally the evening was over. All of the seniors in the band had
been invited over to Philip's house for a party. The parents were
also included in the invitation so liquor wasn't even a thought, but
that was cool. We all had a great time. One final blast
before the actual graduation the next day.
The class of 1987 graduated on the football field of the local college
where all of our home football games were played. All of the
families were up in the stands and a dais was set up for the principal
and other school administrators. The senior class had seats
turned to face the stands. What a strange view. Except for
the time I went down to the field to talk to Alan on my birthday I'd
never been on a football field in my life. I was used to being in
the stands, buzzed out of my mind, screaming and hollering for our team
(between yentering of course). I couldn't tell you rule one from
football but suddenly I could see myself in the stands, running around
acting like a total moron. For me the games represented the main
social events in my life during high school. In some ways I love
that sport.
Our class joke on the principal was that everyone handed him a piece of
rice or a black eyed pea or some bullshit when we went up to accept our
diplomas. He handled it very well, smiling and making the
trade. Never blinked an eye. How dorky was that. For
some reason the actual graduation ceremony was not as emotional as the
evening before. I'm sure it's because we were all mentally
whipped from the exams and the business of practicing walking across
the field, in whatever order, getting to our seats, blah blah blah blah
blah. By evening's end I was just done. I was through
dealin'.
I was sad.
My mom always used to tell me that as you get older the years pass you
by faster and faster the older you get. I used to think that she
was nuts. That evening I knew it was true. As we all milled
around after the ceremony, talking with friends, making plans for the
evening, visiting out of town family, I took measure of most of the
people there. Even though I wasn't friends with the three hundred
or so seniors we'd all grown up together in the same house,
basically. I looked over at a guy named Richie. I
remembered in 8th grade when he was a nerd like I was (and I remained
for
several years). Here he was buffed and gorgeous from four years
of football training. And he guy was one of the nicest guys on
the planet. Then there was a dude named David. He used to
talk to me before he became the team's kicker. But he'd grown a
lot. There's Chandra who used to wear a different ribbon or
hairpiece or some shit in her hair every day in 8th grade and now she
was always
glammed out. But I was different too. I was no longer the
timid and shy zit creature with goggles. My body had finally
started to develop this past year, thanks to Don's training the year
before. I wore contacts and kept my hair shorter - no more helmet
head.
So many people. So many changes.
It was the end of another era, for me.
* * * * *
* *
But when one era ends the next one rushes in like a spring
shower. You can see it in the distance and hear the distant
thunder rumbling; see the flashes of lightning on the horizon.
There's no way to stop it. At first it's kind of painful, but
then you welcome the
release and the change. I didn't have time to feel sad
anymore. I had to pack for my senior cruise!
Now that was an interesting
trip. Ay-yi-yi. All year long I'd been paying for my room
on the ship that I'd be sharing with Charles, who was in my chemistry
class the year before and who I'd worked at Kroger with. While we
didn't have any
classes together our senior trip we still worked together. He was
a good friend and a fun drinking partner.
Our ship, The Emerald Seas,
was to disembark from Miami one week after we graduated. The
night before, everyone who was going, which was basically the entire
senior class, had to meet in the local Mervyn's parking lot to board
one of the many buses waiting to take the 13 or 15 hour drive from
Stone Mountain down to Miami. Most of us were either drunk or
buzzed before we even left the parking lot. Charles and I ended
up sitting near the rear where some of my football player friends
were. The two guys that I met on my birthday over at
whatever-her-name's house were also on my bus. Mike was sitting
at the front with some friends and Scott was in the back near me.
Scott
was
drunker than an Irish sailor. Since my birthday I had been
around him from time to time, mainly because he was a friend of
Alan's. He was definitely pretty hot and Alan used to crack up
when I'd tell him how good looking I thought he was. Then Alan
would get me
in the sack and just do me so hard that I'd forget completely about
Scott. Now there's a smart guy.
I should say that when it came to other guys, neither Alan nor I were
really interested. I mean, we'd point out hot looking guys to
each other all the time, which is pretty normal. But I never
really had the desire to be with anyone sexually other than him.
Luckily, he felt the same way about me. I know when it comes to
guy-girl sex in high school there are plenty of "players" as they're
called now. Back then we used the term "ho" or "pig."
Seems more descriptive. Alan and I weren't that way. I'd
met an old-fashioned guy.....awwwwww!
Unfortunately he wasn't a senior and couldn't go on the cruise.
An hour or so into the bus ride I got stoned. Not because I
wanted
to but because a bunch of people around me were smokin' some pot.
At one point I noticed Mike walked back to use the restroom, which was
completely overflowing with piss and puke - nasty. By now Scott
was drunk and laying on top of the luggage rack over my head. As
Mike
walked by Scott reached his hand out and ruffled his hair and said
something to him. Mike looked a bit nervous, like he did back at
the party, but he laughed and said something back and went into the
bathroom. Me, I was drunk and
stoned so I didn't really focus that much on it.
The cruise itself was a blast. Charles and I got to hang out a
lot, which was cool. The first thing we did when we were finally
allowed on board the next afternoon (the buses left Stone Mountain at
10:00 the night before) was to hit one of the ship's bars.
Someone had
mentioned a Long Island Iced Tea, so I ordered one. It tasted
like shit. The bartender tossed it and fixed me something else,
something fruity. How appropriate. It was so funny watching
my classmates come up and order beers or whatever, thinking how cool
they were that they could actually order something at a bar
legally. I had a good buzz going and I ordered a round for
everyone in the bar on me. Duh. The drinks were free.
That should tell you how nuts I was getting.
A group of us hung out a bit and checked out every bar on the
ship. The casino was pretty cool but I didn't have a lot of money
to lose. There were a couple of lounges with dance floors, and we
hit those too. I was smart enough to keep snacking on chips and
shit that first day so I wouldn't puke or pass out. Yeah, like
that really works. We had to stop partying for about a half an
hour or so while the ship performed it's life boat drill. The
ship had finally left port and we were heading to Nassau, in the
Bahamas. I'm sure y'all know where it's at. Everyone on the
ship was a graduating senior from some school in the Atlanta (mainly
DeKalb County) area. The chaperons were completely useless and
really only there for the vacation.
I got so fuckin' sick of hearing "Margaritaville" I wanted to gouge my
own eyes out. That song was constantly being played, whatever bar
or pool I wound up at. Shit!
After having dinner that evening, which I really needed to get some
food into my system after the vats of alcohol I'd had to drink, I
headed out onto one of the stern decks of the ship (that's rear,
to you and me). The whole ship was lit up, and the railings were
stung with big fat white lights. It really looked
beautiful. At dinner I decided to go light on the booze and only
ordered one Tom Collins. What a rock star! After dinner I'd
ordered another one and I was drinking it as I sauntered around the
deck, passing other people (kids?) my age. A few I knew from
Stone Mountain; still others had graduated elsewhere. I threw
back the rest of my drink and ordered a jack and Coke from an outside
bar.
Again, "Margaritaville." Fuck!
I walked back to the railing and looked down into the water which was
illuminated by the ship's lights. It was actually kinda
scary. I always have had this fear of machinery in water.
I'm not sure why, but I always imagined falling into a body of water
near the turbines of a dam or something stupid and getting sucked
in. Christ, get me another drink!
It was really a gorgeous night. The ship was headed south and to
the west the last rays of sunlight struggled to stay above the horizon,
lost their battle, then vanished beneath the waves.
"Alan, I wish you were here," I said to myself. "I miss ya
bud." Then I took another drink and leaned onto the railing, my
chin in my hand. The breeze had drowned out most of the voices on
deck and you could hear just a murmur. Unfortunately it didn't
drown out the chords of that fucking song. I let the breeze wash
away any feelings of apprehension that I'd had at graduation.
Breathing in the night sea air can do wonders for the head.
Standing there a memory from way back when I was three
years old came to me.
Yeah right, three years old, you're thinking. Today at 36 I
couldn't tell you what I had for lunch, but I can tell you that the
first song I remember hearing on my A.M. transistor radio was
"Shambala" by Three Dog Night. We moved from one house to another
that year, which was 1973, and I remember Barry Manilow's "Miracle" on
the radio as we loaded up the Dodge Rambler (which was green) to
leave. You older readers (my age or older) will remember
when the popular radio stations were broadcast on AM and then switched
to FM. Anybody remember the Radio Shack Toodle-loop? The
round radio that you could open up into the shape of an "s" and adjust
the station on the dial inside. There's a memory for ya.
But back to the memory I was having on the ship.
The house that we moved from (in 1973) had three bedrooms
upstairs. It was one of those Craftsman style, built between 1907
and 1917. Most people in upstate New York didn't even have window
a/c units, let alone central air. We always had our windows open
and on really hot nights we had the little window fans that you'd pop
into your window. That must be when I started having to have
white noise to get me to sleep. Anyway, my two brothers and I
took
turns sharing rooms, and this particular night I had my own room (we'd
change rooms every year or so according to my mom) which overlooked the
house next to ours. This way one of us would always have a turn
to have their own room. Two elderly sisters lived next to us and
like many
people at that time they would hang their laundry on the line in the
back yard. I remember waking up one night and walking over to the
window. As I looked down into their backyard there was a set of
sheets on the line that was blowing gently in the breeze. I could
hear the material flapping now and then and feel the night breeze on my
face as I stood in the window. The moonlight reflected on the
hanging linens. The air was so soft and
fresh. It was probably one of the most peaceful moments that I
remember in my life.
That's what I was thinking about as I leaned on the railing of the ship
that first night.
"Boy, you're a million miles away," I heard a voice say.
I turned to my right and smiled. "Scott. How are ya?"
He rocked his head back and forth a bit. "Eh. I'm
okay. How about you."
"Just okay?"
"I'm sort of worn out from that friggin' bus ride," Scott said.
"You mean you didn't relax from tokin' on the way down?"
"Hey," he laughed, "that wasn't me. That was John."
"Shit, man, I caught wind and I tell you what, before last night I'd
never been high off of grass." Scott laughed at that. He
really was a good lookin' guy. And perfect teeth.
Shit. Maybe he's gay too. Shyah! right! What are the
odds.
Plus I had Alan. And no amount of liquor could get me to lose
that or fuck it up with him.
"So what'd you think?" he asked, smiling.
"Um, I think I'll stick to drinking. I'm Irish so it comes
naturally."
"Oh shit," he laughed and shook his head.
He leaned on the railing as I did, a few feet away.
"It's incredible isn't it," he said.
I just sighed.
"You doin' okay Paul?"
I nodded. "I think this is finally kickin' in," holding up my now
empty glass.
"What's your poison?" That was the most popular phrase ever since
The Breakfast Club came out
two years before.
"Jack and Coke."
He raised his eyebrows. "You are
Irish."
I busted out laughing at that.
"I'll get'cha another one," and he walked over to the bar and came back
with a beer for himself and my j-and-c.
"Thanks, man," I said.
"To the cruise and graduation," Scott said, tilting up his bottle to
toast.
I didn't know what to say so I said something stupid. "Likewise."
I still was leaning onto the rail and he turned with his back to it,
elbows propped up on the railing behind him.
"How's my boy Alan?" he asked.
I couldn't help but smile. I'd been drinking all damn day and
didn't really care about how I looked or acted by that point.
"He's just fine,"
I said. There were two meanings to that but I wasn't really
sharing my personal thoughts on the matter.
"You miss him, huh?" he said quietly sipping his beer, not that there
was anybody nearby
to hear our conversation.
"Do what?" I made a confused face and laughed nervously. "What
makes you say that?" I tried adding some machismo to my question,
taking another sip of my drink.
"Because you just said it."
Gulp. "Huh?"
"A second ago. You said 'Alan, I wish you were here, I miss ya
bud.' Just a second ago."
Oh shit. I must've been more buzzed than I thought because I
could've sworn that I was just thinking those words. But Scott
was pretty cool and I'd been around him several times, again because of
Alan. I'd never known him to be an asshole; he came across as a
pretty decent guy, albeit sometimes quiet.
"Um.....uh," I stammered.
"Hey," he smiled a bit. "It's cool."
"What's cool."
Scott took a pull off of his beer then put his arm back onto the
railing. "Y'all. It's cool with me."
"What do you mean, 'y'all'?" I said. "What," I snorted, "you
think we're....what?"
He scratched his forehead and gave me this look that said
"dumb ass."
I'd try the brave bullshit thing one more time. "Dude, is anyone
sayin' shit or somethin'? How many of those have you had?" I
asked, pointing to his beer.
Scott laughed. "I think this is number seven, this
evening."
"Well hoss, no wonder you're having crazy thoughts," I laughed, trying
to get out of this
conversation.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to make you feel funny."
"Dude, we're just friends. You make it sound like-"
"Y'all are an item?" he finished.
I was mentally being defeated. All of that fuckin' booze was
taking the fight out of me. I rubbed my face with one hand and
looked back overboard.
"Paul, like I said, it's cool."
My shoulders sagged. "What's cool?" I finally asked, softly.
"Y'all spend a lot of time with each other-"
"Should I be worried about this talk we're having? You gonna
throw me over?" I smiled weakly.
"No, dope." He took another pull from his beer. "He talks
about you all the damn time. At least to me he does."
"Jealous?" I asked kiddingly.
Scott busted out laughing. "No. I'm too much of a loner to
be jealous."
I laughed at that too. "Well you shouldn't be."
"Shouldn't be a loner or jealous?" he asked.
I thought about that for a minute. "Neither."
Scott smiled and took another pull of beer. I stood there looking
overboard. "I like Alan. He's a good guy and he's my
friend."
"I'm sorry, man. Just a little beer muscle. Talkin' about
things I shouldn't."
I shrugged. I wasn't really irritated but I didn't understand why
two guys just couldn't be friends and hang out without everyone
assuming that "something was going on" between them. Maybe we
just gave off this vibe or something. I guess to a certain extent
I didn't care anymore what people said about me because I was done with
school, but Alan had one more year left and being a football player
would only insulate him so much from ridicule. Well now I was
gone so we wouldn't be hanging out during school and at least he
wouldn't have to be opened up to what people may or may not think about
him.
"He really does like you, though," Scott continued.
I rubbed my face with my hand and tossed back the rest of my
drink. I turned to walk back to the bar and Scott held me back by
the arm.
"Hey man, I'm sorry," he said a little more urgently.
"I'm just going for another drink. Be right back. 'Nother
beer?" I asked.
Scott held his bottle up and looked at it, swirling around what little
was left inside. "Please."
As I walked up to the bar the beginning strains of "Why Don't We Get
Drunk And Screw" started. I swear right then I wish I'd had my
Jimmy Buffet tapes with me so I could throw them into the ocean.
Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, especially "Come Monday" but
enough's enough. I got Scott's beer and another j-and-c, tipped
the bartender, then headed back to the railing.
"So where are your other friends? The dudes in the band?" he
asked.
"They went on some fishing trip down in Key West. It'd been
planned for a long time and I guess that's their 'cruise'."
We stood there silent for a moment or two. In my mind I kept
sizing him up, and from what I could tell Scott was a really nice
guy. He'd always been friendly to me when Alan and I'd been
around him. Just one of those guys who never meets a stranger.
"Hey Paul, let's have a seat. Number seven's goin' right to my
head," he smiled.
"Eight," I smiled.
There were a couple of deck chairs nearby and we walked over to them
not so steady on our feet. I was on my way to getting tanked
again. If I weren't with Alan.....mahhhhhh goodness! But
then what were the chances of Scott being gay. Slim and
none. He was a really good looking dude and the training from
football had been sweet to him. He had the sort of body that one
might expect to have in college. You know how a lot of guys in
high school work out and all, but they haven't really filled out in a
more bulky or mature way? Scott could've passed for someone in
his early 20's, easily.
"So Paulie, where ya goin' to college?" Not really a topic I
wanted to hit but that's okay, he and I hadn't really spent time alone
with him before so it was cool.
"DeKalb. What about you?"
"I'm not really sure what I want to do, to tell you the truth.
How 'bout you?"
"Architecture. Gettin' my core out of the way at DeKalb then I'll
transfer to Tech," I said.
"Ahh, so you're stayin' here. Cool."
I nodded.
"Do you have a college in mind," I asked, "or you gonna just work for
now?"
He nodded. "I'll probably just work for now, figure out what I
want to do. I like building things, working with wood or on
projects, so maybe I'll get into doing that."
"What, did you and your dad do a lot of that kind of stuff or
something?"
He snorted. "Step-dad.
I haven't seen my dad in years."
"Yikes. Shit man, sorry." Boy, now there's a fun topic to
bring up.
"I started working with wood and shit at my uncle's house last year,"
he continued.
"Oh yeah," I sat up. "I remember you mentioning something about
that."
"Yeah, my brother and I lived with my Uncle David for the year.
Which was good because I was about to kill my step-dad."
"Damn son," I laughed nervously, "that would not be a good thing." By now
I was starting to feel a nice warm buzz again. I think that Scott
was too because his speech was slurring just a little bit.
"God, I hate that fucker," he muttered.
Just then the d.j. cranked up some disco. Great! A few
people spilled out onto the deck from the lounge, and a couple of them
were dancing like drunken fools. I recognized one of the fools.
"Yo! Mikey!" It was Mike from the party that night and on
the bus ride down here. Mike looked around to see who'd called
him. "Over here!" I yelled. He turned and caught my eye
then looked at Scott, who just nodded at him.
"Hi y'all doin'!" he yelled to us.
We both laughed. "Apparently not as good as you are, dude," I
hollered back.
"Get drunk - pass out and get no coot, baby!" he yelled, laughing the
whole time, then turned back to the other people.
"That guy's had a few," Scott said.
"Ya think?"
I noticed that he kept watching Mike across the deck, who was dancing
like a fool, waving his arms in the air and shaking his ass. "You
know him or something?" I asked.
Scott took another pull off his beer. "Sort of."
"Sort of. Baby either you do or you don't." Yeah, the sauce
was definitely in my brain now.
Another pull. "Man....I was a bit of a pain in the ass to that
dude for a long time."
"I could only be so lucky," I thought.
Scott died laughing and looked over at me. "Y'all do have
somethin' goin' on, don't'cha."
"Huh?"
"You and Alan. Dude, you just said you should be so lucky."
Fuck! I'm thinkin' out loud again. I laughed and tried to
pass it off on the booze. "Just fuckin' with ya, man," I said.
"Yeah, right," he smiled. "I told you it's cool with me."
I needed to end this line of questioning or whatever. "So why'd
you go to your uncle's?" That worked.
Another pull off his beer. "Ahh, nothin' much. I used to be a
real asshole, ya know?"
I shook my head 'no.'
"We just needed some time away from that asshole."
"We?"
"My brother John and I."
"Mmm." I replied. "How old's he?"
"Sixteen. See the problem was that Frank treated us like
shit. Don't need to get into all o' that, but the house wasn't a
good place for us."
"Well, why'd you come back?"
He chuckled to himself. "You know, I don't know. I guess I
wanted to graduate with everyone, all of my friends. Couldn't do
that living with my uncle."
"Oh, so y'all came back?"
"No, John stayed at my uncle's. It was probably better.
Hey, want another drink?"
"J and C, baby."
"You got it.." But he didn't get up at first. "Uh, Scotty?"
"Ya think I oughtta apologize to him?" he asked.
"Who?"
He nodded in Mike's direction. "Him."
"For.....?"
"Ahh, for being such a son of a bitch."
I leaned over towards him and back smacked his arm. "Scott," I
said whispering drunkenly, "I don't think it's bothering him right
now. But, you can
apologize to me for not getting my drink yet."
He laughed and stood up, then stretched (woof) and headed over to the
bar. He came back with the drinks and handed me mine.
"Ya gotta love fermented potatoes!" I said.
"Why's that," he laughed.
" 'Cause that's where whiskey comes from."
"I thought that was where vodka came from."
"Shit, I dunno. Who gives a damn," I replied.
Scott died laughing. "Cheers, buddy."
We clinked glass and swigged our poisons.
I was really feeling warm and cozy at this point of the evening.
Scott was obviously buzzed, too. We talked and shot the shit even
more. It was kind of nice to not be in the mix of the people
running around acting stupid. I preferred sitting down and acting stupid
instead. The night wore on and the drinks filled our
gullets. I thought I was okay until I went to stand and get
another round. I knew I'd be paying for this in the
morning. I was sure that Scott would too.
"So! Why is it you and I are on a great cruise but we're both
just sitting away from all the action?" I said, pointing to the crowd
of people on the deck.
"Cause I'm tired and you're gay," he said laughing at himself. I
spit out my drink, also laughing. "What," he said.
"You're still on that," I kept laughing, mainly because I was drunker
then cootie brown. "Well Scott," I said, "if I tell you something
will you promise not to kick my ass? Throw me overboard?" I
had a dopey drunk-laugh that I couldn't stop. Kinda like Dudley
Moore.
"Yessss," he laughed.
"You're right. I am!" Oh shit, shit and another shit!
I said it! Oh what was I thinking? There's an easy
answer: I wasn't thinking. I was three sheets to the
wind. Fuck!
"I knew it," he died laughing. Yes, we were roaring drunk at this
point. "And Alan?"
"And Alan!" I said. I was too drunk to stop any talk at that
point.
"And y'all?" he was still laughing.
"Oh yeah!" Someday I'll extract the drinking gene in my
d.n.a. Oye vey!
"I knew it! I knew it! God, he talks about you so.
Damn. Much! Paulie this. Paulie that. Paulie,
Paulie, Paulie!" he sang, but kept laughing.
"Paulie wanna cracker!"
"Paulie wants somethin' else!" he went to sit back in the chair but
went sideways and fell out. That was it for me. I stood up
and started walking around in circles, absolutely laughing my ass off
and pointing at him. He just sat there on his ass, wiping his
eyes from laughing so much. Was any of this funny? Hell
no. But that's what drinking does to people. Duh.
"Yeah, but he ain't here!" I was insane with drunken laughing and
now we pretty much had an audience. That's okay, they were all
drunk too.
After about five minutes Scott and I calmed down a bit and returned to
our seats.
"Well," I finally said, "I guess you are cool with it after all."
"Oh yeah man. To each his own," and he held out his beer to toast.
We remained there a little while longer and calmed down some more.
"I can't believe I told you that. Please don't mention anything
to Alan. Let me tell him you figured it out."
He smiled at me. "That's cool. No prob."
"Shit man, it's gettin' late. I'm beat and I'm ready for
bed!" I said.
"Me too. I'll walk you to your room."
"K."
Scott and I stood up and everything was okay until we started to
walk. The two of us looked like two booze hounds; we couldn't
even begin to walk a straight line. Finally we got down to my
room. It was on one of the lower decks and Charles and I only had
one porthole to look out of. When we got down to the room I saw
the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door. It never dawned on me that
it was after 2:00 in the morning and Charles might be asleep. I
assumed that he had some chick with him.
"Fuck," I said.
"It's okay," Scott laughed. "You can stay in my room."
I nodded. "Let's go, then. I hafta take a wicked piss!"
"Wicked?"
"Yeah. That's what we used to say up north when I was a kid."
"Yankee," he laughed at me.
"Dick," I returned. "Let's go."
We got back to Scott's room and I pissed for an eternity. After I
came out of the bathroom I looked around. We were higher up
in the ship and there was a really big window looking out over the
ocean. There were two beds but I noticed only one set of luggage.
"Nice digs. Where's your roommate?"
"Oh man, he bugged out a few months ago but I'd already reserved the
room so I figured what the fuck."
"Nice! Dude, I need some water. A lot of water. Be right
back."
"Hold on," he said and picked up the phone, dialed a number, then
ordered a dozen bottles of water. Within five minutes a ship
steward was knocking on the door, handing them to him.
"To the Bahamas!" I toasted.
"The Bahamas."
I drank a shit load of water, as did Scott, over the next twenty to
thirty minutes. Alan and I weren't brought up again that night,
which was fine with me. I was just glad that he was cool with it
all. We talked a little bit more, then we each took another leak
(separately) and crashed onto our own beds, still dressed. I woke
up a couple of times during the night and remembered where I was.
Then I drank another bottle of water and took another piss. Scott
was lying on his back still fully clothed. He obviously had to
take a piss because you could see the enormous bulge in his
shorts. I shook my head to clear it then rolled back over to go
to sleep. I definitely had a thing for jocks with big
cocks. That much was obvious.
I woke up later that morning and heard the shower just cutting off as I
sat up on the bed and cleared the cobwebs. A few minutes later
Scott came out wearing only a pair of shorts and was toweling his hair.
" 'Sup, Paulie."
"I hate mornings."
He chuckled. "You feelin' okay?"
I just nodded. "Need food." Scott laughed even harder.
"Me caveman. Need food," he mocked.
I'm really not a morning person. "Watch out dude or I'll throw
you out that big pretty window."
He laughed again and went back into the bathroom then returned with a
t-shirt on. What a view that had been, though. Nice bod,
Scotty boy. And this
time I did't say it out loud.
I put my head in my hands. "Oh God," groaning. "What did I
do? What did I say last night?"
"Were you that drunk?" he smiled.
"Not really," I sat back up. "I know I admitted to you about....."
Scott shook his head slightly and sat down on his bed.
"Paul. Really man, it doesn't bother me at all. I don't
look at you weird or bad or anything. Your Alan's friend and
that's all that matters to me. And hopefully you can be my friend
too."
I was too tired to be scared or unsure of anything. So I smiled a
bit and said, "Thanks man. Lookin' forward to it." I really
felt at ease.
New phase of life, new era, here I come!
* * * * *
* * *
Hey y'all. So what'd you think? Are you surprised how
things turned out? Share your thoughts if you would.
Constructive criticisms are always welcome.
Mark
mlogan6969@hotmail.com