Date: Sat, 25 Feb 2006 10:08:36 +1000 From: Hayden Som Subject: Centre of March Chapter 9 This is a work of fiction. The author retains all rights. Reproductions are not allowed without the authors consent. There are no explicit sexual acts contained in this work, it is a story of love and the strong bonds shared between two guys. This is the first story I have submitted. I would love to hear from you (I have received a lot of emails so keep sending them, and if you haven't already, I really want to know how I'm doing; I just love reading support mail!) so email me on exuinoxneo@hotmail.com and be honest with what you think (but not brutally!). You can even email me if you have any questions - which readers outside of Australia may wish to do as you may not understand the meaning of some slang words. Enjoy. NINE There was emptiness all around me. Darkness. I was floating through nothing. My thoughts were lucid, I was aware of myself and so much more. Somehow this place felt familiar, like a place I've been to before but was only recognisable upon seeing again. In fact, I remember being here on countless occasions. Time and space did not exist here, not in the same sense it did on the earthly plane. This was a place of transition, a place where choices can lead to infinite possibilities, where souls gather to remember the world vision and where answers may be found to questions never asked. This was a realm where thoughts and desires manifested. But not all desires lead to paradise. The souls of those who never awakened on the earthly plane would only manifest their own private hell. It was the only hell that existed. Life, flourish. Before me a field of colours sprang from the darkness, grandiose trees and picturesque blooms sprouted from an expanding grassland that continued to grow into the horizon. Light shone from everywhere without any specific source, touching everything with a heavenly glow. Body, corporeal. Sensation flowed as I was grounded, my body materialised in clothes of pure white. I could feel blades of grass between my toes and felt the gentle wind blowing through my hair. I did not need a vessel to traverse these realms, but experience was a privilege and should not be taken for granted. I walked through the fields without fear. There were other souls here, some that overlapped into my realm, and I could see them struggling with their transitions into a higher existence as they continued to replay that which they held on to dearly. Here a person ran in circles chasing a trail of money, there another sat at a computer furiously typing. They would continue their dramas until they could learn to let go. I could not help them, it would be futile, so I closed my eyes and when I opened them the other souls had disappeared. I continued to walk, each step the same as the one before. The environment did not change, but I knew that I would eventually reach a destination. I did not know where I was going, only that I had faith in my search. In the distance something was altered, when I reached it I found myself standing on the shores of an expansive ocean. A shining sphere of light hovered a few metres away from where I stood. Then it transformed into a person, flickering from one bodily image to another. Once a female, then a male, an old man, an old woman, and hundreds of variations in between. Finally it settled into a male body garbed in similar white clothes as myself. - It has been a while old friend. "Indeed it has," I said. The words were not spoken, rather, it was understood. He turned. I knew him. I have always known him. - We meet again. "As we always do." - We have lived before. "And shall live again." Eternal love emanated from this being, the same love that I myself felt for them. It was a love as old and natural as creation. - We have shared many lives and will share many more. "It is the path we have chosen." - Yes, we have been fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, friends, enemies and lovers. But always reborn to cross paths. "And we are at another crossroad now." - It is a test of our strength and conviction. "I do not know if I can make it through this time." - That is part of the experience. "You always were the optimistic one, and always there for me when I needed you." - The time has come for our roles to be reversed. I need you now, more than ever. "It was never this hard." - It has never been easy either. I stood for a moment feeling the wind lightly blowing against my face and the tiny grains of sand shifting beneath my feet. I blinked and when my eyes reopened I stood directly in front of this familiar soul. His eyes were a vibrant light green colour and his face was smooth, glowing with radiance. His hair was dark, almost black. A neatly trimmed goatee encircled his mouth. "What will become of us this time?" I asked. - You know that will depend on our choices. Our paths are always changing, nothing is certain. The only thing that is certain is the infinite future. "I have not always made the best choices." - I believe that you have. You have always come through. "My next choice may bear a heavy burden if I do not choose wisely, I am not sure if I am ready." - You will do as you must. "I can only hope." - It is time. "Time to return." He transformed back into a sphere of light drifting in the air for a while before soaring into the distance and disappearing beyond the horizon. My surroundings began to fade, the darkness was returning. It wasn't long before everything melted into nothingness. Then sounds began to filter through. Two distinct voices were speaking, arguing with each other. I opened my eyes and the glaring brightness of artificial lighting blinded me for a moment. I was sitting on a hard plastic seat with my head resting on a pillow. I couldn't understand where I was or how I happened to be here. When I saw Aunt Jen and Julie I realised I was in the emergency waiting room of the hospital. Memory returned to me along with the painful emotions. I was sure I was somewhere else just a moment before, but the harder I tried to remember, the further out of reach it became until no traces of the experience remained, like a dream that was forgotten moments after awakening. Aunt Jen was pacing back and forth looking distressed. She said to Julie, "Honey, I swear, I can't see his aura, things like this don't happen." "He's just sleeping Aunt Jen," Julie said, "You're getting worried over nothing." "Maybe I'm not explaining it right," Aunt Jen said in frustration, "Aura's don't disappear unless the person is dead or . . . no, it can't be." They hadn't noticed I was awake. I said, "Are you both talking about me again?" Aunt Jen and Julie turned to look at me at the same time. Aunt Jen squinted at me, sighed and smiled with relief. "March, thank God, I can see your aura again," She said. "That's because he's awake now," Julie commented. "How long have I been asleep?" I asked, "And how did I end up here? I thought I was on the floor before." Julie raised her eyebrow, she said, "Almost an hour." "Don't you remember that I helped you up to the seat?" Aunt Jen said intrigued, "You were so tired you could barely walk, let alone speak." "Last thing I remember was falling asleep on the floor next to you Aunt Jen," I said. Then worriedly, "Any word about Edric?" Aunt Jen looked grim. She shook her head, sat down next to me and placed a hand on my arm reassuringly. I took a deep sigh and stared at the floor. I wasn't completely sure why, but I wasn't feeling as upset as before. I felt calmer, though still distraught, which was evident from the incessant gnawing sensation I felt in my stomach. "Oh, by the way," Julie said, "I drove home while you were asleep and got you some fresh clothes." "Thanks," I said taking the bag of clothes she was holding out, "Red is just not me anyway." Aunt Jen raised her eyebrows and Julie looked horrified. "Sorry guys," I said, "Just trying to lighten the mood." I headed for the men's toilets to change into the fresh clothes. I threw the blood stained ones in the bin on the way out. When I returned to the emergency waiting room, the doctor was speaking to Aunt Jen. He turned when he saw her look at me. "March?" He asked. "Yeah," I answered tentatively, my heart started to beat faster. "I have some good news for you," the doctor said, "Edric has awakened from his unconscious state." A sense of release from the stressful events overcame me, and I felt a heavy weight lifted from my shoulders. I said, "Thank God." "We've moved him to intensive care and he's asked to see you," the doctor said, "But he's very weak and still in a precarious condition, so please make it short. I'll show you the way there." I was walking on air, gliding, as I followed the doctor with Aunt Jen and Julie trailing behind. It wasn't far and when the doctor left us by the door I was too afraid to walk through it. I steeled myself, schooled my thoughts and opened the door. He was lying in a hospital bed, slanted to prop him up. He had thick layers of bandage wrapped around his forehead. All manner of hospital machinery surrounded him and attached themselves to him by wires and tubes. The sight tore at my heart, but I kept my face free from the distress I was feeling. He looked at me and smiled faintly. I smiled back. Even with half his face swollen, it was enough to light up the room. "How are you holding up there buddy?" I asked him. Edric swallowed, failed at his first attempt to speak, and then said, "I didn't think you would be here." "Hey," I said soothingly, I grabbed his hand in both of mine and squeezed it gently, "I'm not going anywhere." "I'm glad you're here," he said in a voice still weak, he noticed Aunt Jen and Julie behind me and said, "All of you." "We're thankful that you're okay dear," Aunt Jen told him. "You gave me a real scare," I said, "I don't want you to do that to me again." Edric grinned, he said, "I hope I live long enough not to." "Don't say that," I said, "Of course you will." "Hmm," he looked at me and I suddenly realised we shared something not many people ever do, he said, "You look like shit." I laughed softly, I said, "Well you don't look too bad yourself. Besides, you're the source of inspiration for my current appearance." "I'm so sorry that I put you through all this," Edric said sadly, "I didn't mean to cause you any grief." "What's life without a bit of drama, hey?" I joked. Edric's face went grim and he looked away for a moment when he looked back he said, "I stood up for you, to my brother, I told him what I do with my life isn't his concern." "You don't have to explain," I said, noticing the stress of talking about it was causing him pain. "He was angry, we'd already lost our mother and pretty much our father and I was the only family he had left," Edric said, his face contorted in pain and the cardiac monitor began to beep faster. "You don't have to tell me," I said trying to stop him from over exerting himself. "We got into an argument and he said he was disappointed with me," Edric was breathing faster, the beeping from the damn machines was steadily increasing, still he continued, "He hit me from behind, and I fell, but he kept hitting me." A doctor rushed in followed by several nurses. "You have to make it through this," I said feeling my time with him grow short, "Don't you leave me here alone." Edric's eyes were drooping, his breath was now coming to him in shorter gasps. He said in a bare whisper, "I don't regret anything." A female nurse pulled me away, she said, "It's best you left the room for now." Red graphics flashed across the screens of the hospital equipment as they beeped faster. The nurse didn't push me out of the room so I stayed a few metres by the door where Julie propped it open for Aunt Jen, they were just as hesitant to leave. My head was spinning and a tightness in my chest was threatening to suffocate me. A nurse was preparing the defibrillators. The doctor noticed me standing there and said to the female nurse, "Get them out of here, now." She gently grabbed my arm and prepared to lead me out but I wasn't going to move. Edric was looking at me, his eyes conveyed a deep regret and I watched as the light in them slowly disappeared. Then the cardiac monitor flat-lined. "No!" I screamed, I wanted to rush to his side but the nurse was restraining me with surprising strength, I extended my arms out instead trying to reach for him and grabbing nothing but air. Time slowed down to an agonising crawl as I watched the doctor rip open Edric's hospital robe and apply the defibrillator paddle again and again until at last he finally gave up. Edric was dead.