The next thing I knew was that he had my jeans down and my hard dick was in his mouth. I fucked his face hard, hard as if it were the only way to free my mind. I didn't care, I just didn't care. He pulled away, off me completely. I felt his tongue play with my pre-cum and saliva covered helmet. I didn't want that. I didn't want play, I was sick of playing. But that's all this guy wanted to do. He played with my dick in his hand until I shot my load. I slumped down on the tree and closed my eyes, when I had reopened them, he was gone...

Slowly I got to my feet and then I made my way back home, totally high from cruising in the park and totally monged from the spliff still running round my head.

I remember sitting down in the living room because I wasn't sure if I was capable of climbing the stairs to my bed. I sat on the couch for a long time, debating which journey would be easier, the climb upstairs to bed or a venture into the kitchen to satisfy my carving for something chocolate.

That's the thing about smoking dope, you may have a good time but you always end up with the chocolate munchies when you can least do anything about it.

Well, I guess the choice must have been far too exhausting, because the next thing I knew was that I was waking up on the lounge sofa to the sound of tapping on the front window. I tried ignoring it, but it wouldn't go away. Eventually I opened my eyes and looked at where the sound was coming from and saw Adam looking through the window. I went over to the door and let him in.

"Geez, it took me ages to wake you, I was going to ring the bell but I saw a light on and looked through the window. Looks like you had a rough night."

"Adam," I yawned while trying to focus my eyes. "What time is it?" My head started pounding. The price I suppose I had to pay for a few moments out of it. Never again!

"About half six, better get a move on if we're going to get a full run in this morning."

"Run?" I asked.

"Yeah run. Gota keep fit now you're on the team. I thought we spoke this yesterday, about running together every morning?"

"Not that I remember."

"Oh well." He smiled, then stuck his finger up in the air as if he just had a brainwave. "Hey I've got a good idea, why don't we run together in the mornings. Be a great way to help each other along. Much better than doing it alone."

I guess Adam was taking his role as team captain really seriously, that or maybe he had a sadistic side to his nature.

"Adam, I feel like shit. I'm really not in the mood. And who says that I'm going to be joining the team anyway?"

"Of course you are." He said ignoring my plea. "Now go up, get showered, get some sweats on and get out of here."

"I'm not getting out of this, am I?"

"Nope."

Okay so if I wasn't feeling so dope hung over I might have been a lot more enthusiastic about Adam coming round first thing in the morning and suggesting going for a run. I mean I really liked this guy and wanted to get to know him better, and I sort of got the vibe that the feeling was mutual. Since I arrived at Elmwood County High sixth form collage he'd gone out of his way to make friends with me and help me fit in with everyone.

"Tell you what, we'll just do twice round the park this morning, if you pack your backpack with your books and uniform we can head off to mine for some breakfast then off to school."

So that's what happened. I went upstairs for a quick shower that luckily woke me up a bit; well at least my head wasn't banging anymore.

I threw some sweats on, then folded up my uniform and put it in my school bag, slipped it over my shoulders and then ran back downstairs to find Adam sitting on the couch thumbing through a magazine. He looked up at me, smiled, then lifted up the mag to show me what he was reading. It was a copy of this month's Gay Times.

AAAHHHH!!!!!!! FUCK!!!

"Yours?" He asked.

"No, Andy's I think. C'mon we getting that run in or what?" I think I said all that very casually. At least I hoped that's the way it came across.

"So your mate Andy is gay then?" He asked, getting up from the couch, casually chucking the magazine back on the coffee table.

"Yeah, does that bother you?" I don't know why, but his question bothered me. All right I do know, even though I really liked Adam, I'd only known him a few days. What if he was homophobic? What if he put it round school that I'm sharing a house with a gay guy? What if he put two and two together and worked out I was gay, spread it round school? Talk about a one way ticket to Lonersville. Talk about a closet mentality.

When I moved out of my parent's home to live with Tom in Edinburgh I swore that I would never hide my sexuality again. I'd grown up in a small-minded community who would have gone ape if they knew I was gay. There's no way I could have come out, and when I did come out to my parents they did go ape. Once I hit Edinburgh there was no way I was going to be nothing less than myself.

Now, I felt I was back at stage one, too scared to open the closet door again. That's what school does to you and that's why I really didn't want to go.

Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, maybe if I'd said from day one that I was gay, I'd have made friends on my terms. Some how I doubt that. Somehow I don't think that if I'd come out any of these people who were fast becoming good friends of mine would even want to know me.

"No, why should it bother me?" He clapped me on the back and said, "C'mon, let's run."

Thinking about it later, I he couldn't be homophobic. I mean, he did help that guy out that Gary was picking on the other day. Even if it was probably more about Adam and Gary not getting on, he still helped out a guy who may have been gay.

Anyway, we did a few warm up exorcises and then went off for a run round Oakwood Park. As we jogged round it we passed the wooded area and I thought back to my visit there just a few hours before.

Man, I must have been mad. That wasn't my voice I heard in my head, it was Tom's. I knew that if I'd told him where I'd been last night he'd have gone loopo at me. After that time when a mate and me got bashed on Carlton Hill, he'd have thought that I would have learned my lesson about going to cruising areas. Well I had, I just sort of temporarily forgot what I learned.

"What's up mate? You're all quiet this morning, that's not like you." Adam said breaking my train of thought.

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"About? Don't tell me. About that you're going to join the team?"

"Aye, that's it. I'm going to join the team."

Adam stopped in his tracks and grabbed hold of my arm till I also stopped.

"Seriously?" He asked. I nodded. "Fantastic!" He pulled me round into a hug. Not a proper hug, you know like the ones you'd give to someone you care about. But one of those straight boys hugs with no body contact and lots of back thumping. That's the rule you see. If there's to be any show of affection, then it must been done in the least poofy way.

After I told Adam that I'd decided that I was going to join the team, I didn't exactly tell him why I freaked a bit the day before, but I did tell him a little about the abuse that my dad used to dish out when I played. Given that he already knew that I had run away from home this summer, I think he understood and the subject was closed.

***

Adam lived in a road that wasn't too far from our house. The houses were slightly smaller, and much older. Adam told me that until Ravenswood was built last year, his road was considered the best in town. You could tell that by the top of the range cars parked in the driveways as we headed to his, there was money here that's for sure. I think the only other difference between roads was that every house in Ravenswood had a pool in the back garden, according to Adam no one in his road had a pool because the gardens were too small.

As soon as we got through the door Adam's mum welcomed us in; I did the polite bit and accepted the offer of some breakfast. Adam said that we should shower first so we went upstairs and he showed me into his bedroom. It was pretty much like mine, in that I'm not the most tidiest person in the world, just ask Andy or Charlotte, they go mad when Tom or I leave things lying about.

There were clothes strewn about the floor, interspersed with CD's, videos and books. I guess that's just a typical teen living space, unless you're Andy or Lottie and are overly anal about tidiness. The main difference in our rooms was that Adam had posters of Liverpool FC covering virtually every inch of wall space. I didn't have any football posters up, although I did think about putting one up of David Beckham a while ago. But that had nothing to do with him being a great football player and everything to do with him looking like sex on legs.

"Excuse the mess." He said casually. I just shrugged my shoulders. "Who's first for a shower?"

"You go, I'll get my uniform out and ready."

"K. You sure? I mean you're a guest and all."

"No, go on."

Adam tip toed across the floor avoiding stepping on most of his stuff and opened the door to his bathroom. Like my room, Adam had an en suite bathroom. He went through then closed the door and within seconds I heard the shower start up.

I took the opportunity to be nosy and look about his room. Like I said it was covered in football posters, mostly team shots and a few posters of players like Michael Owen and Steven Gerrard thrown in for good measure.

Above his dresser was a huge mirror where he'd stuck photos around. I recognised a lot of the faces of the gang at school and there were a lot of him and Paula together. I also spotted one of Adam and Gary that must have been taken when they were thirteen or fourteen. Arms round each other, they really did look like they were the best of friends. Although I wasn't keen on Gary I felt a slight pang when I thought how a life long friendship could be ruined when girls get in the way, especially if the two friends fancy the same girl.

I sat down on Adam's unmade bed and started to take my stuff out of my bag, ready for after my shower. When I looked down on the floor I noticed a pair of white Calvin Klein boxer briefs screwed up and half under his bed. As I pulled them out I felt a cold stickiness on my fingers. I reckoned that Adam must have used his shorts to clean up after a good wank before he left this morning, as there was globs of cum all over and none of it was dry. I scooped a bit up on my finger and tasted it. There wasn't much taste to it other than giving me the taste for something fresher. Didn't see that happening though.

After a bit more sniff and lick, I screwed the shorts up and put them back where I found them. Just in time because lost in my fantasy thoughts I hadn't heard the shower being turned off and no sooner than I put the shorts back Adam came through the door with a towel wrapped round his waist.

"Plenty of hot water left, your turn."

I thanked him and made my way to the bathroom and as soon as I was under the shower and soaped up I started pulling on my dick. Thinking about Adam and how hot he was, his long muscular body, his tight buns, his dick, that I'd only seen soft, but was imagining how it would look hard. I thought about his passing resemblance to Devon Sawa and then of all those fake pictures of the actor I'd seen on the Internet with impossibly huge dicks and thinking about what I would do with him if I could.

After I'd shot my load I quickly washed down the soap and spunk on me then got out and towelled off.

Back in Adam's room, he was busy tidying up and putting clothes away in his wardrobe. He looked round at me when I came in and smiled.

"My mum will freak when she knows that you've seen the state of my room, so I thought I'd get a head start and get this sty in some sort of order before she explodes."

"See that's the best thing about not living with my folks, I don't have to keep my room tidy if I don't want."

"That is so cool, I can't wait to move out and get a place. You're so lucky."

He carried on tidying while I started to dress. I dropped my towel and pulled on a pair of clean white cotton 2xist briefs that I'd packed with my uniform.

"I used to wear briefs, but I prefer shorts now." Adam remarked out of the blue.

I turned round to see him looking at me. "I kinda like both, but I prefer to feel held in place, you know what I mean." I replied feeling quite good knowing that he was watching me. Maybe this was a good sign?

"Yeah, the only time I don't wear boxers is when I'm playing football or on my bike."

"What motorbike?"

"Nah racing bike. I used to ride all the time, but not so much now. I still try to get a ride in on weekends when I'm not playing football. Here, see." He looked over at his bookshelf and pulled down a trophy that showed he'd won a race a couple of years ago. "I used to compete in the county bike races every year."

Of course my mind was going into overdrive picturing what Adam would look like in lycra. I snapped out of it when I realised that I had started to rise to the occasion and turned back to carry on putting my trousers on. Once safely tucked away I said to him. "Maybe we could go for a ride sometime, I mean not that I was in any races, but I wouldn't mind going for out for a few miles, if you do that is."

"Yeah? That'd be great. Maybe this weekend?"

"Sounds good to me." I was now feeling glad that I asked Tom to load my bike on his van when we moved down south. I wasn't sure if I was going to bother as I was hoping that I would start my driving lessons now that I'm seventeen. Once I had a car I wouldn't have needed my bike anymore. How I would afford a car didn't really enter my mind at the time though, I just figured that something would turn up.

Anyway, I finished getting changed while we carried on chatting about making our run a regular morning exercise before school and maybe on nights when we didn't have football practice.

So the early morning runs became a regular fixture, every weekday morning at the same time we went for a two to five mile run, then went back to either his place or mine for breakfast then off to school. I really looked forward to getting up in the mornings and spending the first couple of hours with Adam, we often chatted as we ran about anything and everything. It was great to get to know each other without anyone else about to distract us.

I also liked going back to Adam's after our run, not just for the showers or moments in his bedroom where I'd see him get changed. What I liked most was the feeling that I got from his family. They were really close and loving, you could tell that his parents took pride in everything that he and his younger sister did. Not like my family where there was just scorn and pain. Within just a few days I felt like Adam's mum and dad were treating me like one of the family.

On Saturday we did a twenty mile cycle ride along the country roads outside of town. Adam was a good cyclist and I did my best just to keep up with him. It wasn't all bad though, as I got a great view of his butt going up and down in his black lycra suit. I was wearing one myself, not that I actually owned one. I borrowed it from Andy, who never had a problem with me borrowing his clothes.

***

The following week at school things went well. I was doing okay in my classes and I found that I was actually enjoying the football training that we did every other night after school to prepare for the opening season's match.

About half way through the week we, the gang, were sitting on top field, our regular spot for lunchtime, just chilling out and chatting. I happened to look around and noticed sitting on his own was the guy that Gary Mason picked on the other day in the changing room after our games lesson. He wasn't a bad looking guy, a bit on the short side, maybe 5'6". He was lean and had a mop of chestnut brown hair and hazel eyes.

This wasn't the first time that week that I'd noticed him hanging about. It seemed to me that every time I turned round he was somewhere nearby and as soon as our eyes would meet he'd look away as if he'd just been caught out or something.

When I asked Adam about him, he didn't seem very willing to part with much information. All I got out of him was that Oliver Brady was a bit of a loner and always had been.

"He's been at this school since last year, transferred from some place. I don't know."

"So how come he doesn't hang out with anyone?" I asked.

"I guess no one asked him and he's never bothered to get to know people."

"Okay," I said sceptically. "But you guys came up to me on my first day here. How come I get in and he doesn't?"

"You're only here because Amy fancies you." He laughed and I threw a playful punch at him.

"Well maybe it's time to invite the guy over." I suggested.

"NO!" Adam replied so forcefully that I jumped. "Like I said he's a loner. He's never hung out with us, but I think that's mainly to do with Gary, he's got a bee in his bonnet about Brady being gay or something."

"Is he?" I asked.

"How would I know?" He replied sounding irritated.

"Just asking, don't bite my head off."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to. Look can we drop it?"

"Sure." I replied, not knowing what to think.

You know I've heard it said before that when one part of your life is going fantastically well, another part of it goes hideously wrong. That's kind of how I was feeling once the initial excitement of the new term at uni had worn off.

Things between Tom and I were better than they'd ever been. Since my week of temporary insanity where I had almost thrown everything away we'd got a lot closer. It wasn't like old times. These were new times these were now times, these were our times.

We had spent the first few months of our relationship living in the dorms where at any given moment someone would come knocking on our door, affording us very little privacy. Now we were sharing a house with just two other people and it was a fair way off from campus.

Not that we became recluses or anything, it just meant that we had a lot more time together when we wanted it and if we wanted to go out and socialise, we would.

Living with Lottie and Jamie was most of the time great. Great, but hard work. Lottie has this need to be centre of attention at all times. It's sort of cute, but not 24/7. Tom says that I'm just being bitter and jealous that I'm not always the centre of attention. That's ridiculous, everyone knows that I'm the star and that Lottie's just the support actor in this house. But give Tom his dues, he always knows the right thing to say, "Don't worry, to me you'll always be the centre of attention." Sweet!

Jamie? Well I would like to say that everything was great and that he was settling into his new school well. But I am not sure. I had seen quite a change in Jamie since I first met him. I think he'd grown a lot more confident in himself, no longer the babbling kid whose mouth used to run away with itself whenever he was nervous. Which was a lot of the time.

But instead a guy who has grown into himself, started to find out all the joys that life has install for him. I think that his time in Edinburgh had a lot to do with that. Free from the oppression of his parents, free to discover who he is. He's definitely bloomed.

But, I can't help feeling that something's not right with him. I know he misses Edinburgh a lot, I also know that he's not feeling too comfortable being around Tom and me when we're doing couple things.

Like the other night, Lottie was out and the three of us were watching a film. Tom and I were snuggled up together on the sofa, while Jamie was sitting on the armchair, fidgeting a lot. Half way through the film he got up and went off to his room.

I didn't give it much thought at the time. Tom and I got down to some serious making out once we had the room to ourselves. I don't even remember how the film finished. But thinking on, I could see that Jamie was uncomfortable.

I meant to have a chat with him, but the moment never seem to come when we were on our own. I was busy or he was out, he was spending a lot of time with a new friend of his playing football or off running. I was glad that he had made friends so quickly, I never doubted that he would. But I also knew that he'd have rather spent a month in a tank of spiders then go back to school. After the tears and tantrums he accepted his fate and it did look on the face of it that he was okay. I don't know, maybe I'm off target, but I still get the feeling that not all is well.

Anyway, I was saying how when one side of life is good another seems to go bad. Now don't get me wrong, I don't regret leaving the RSC or not going off to RADA. I wouldn't trade the time that I was with Tom for anything. The downside was that I was beginning to hate my course at university.

I never realised how much I enjoyed the course because our main tutor was Dan. We were really lucky to have someone like him with us for the year, I doubt that there were many established actors who would give eight months of their career up to go into teaching. But that was the kind of person he was. He didn't always make the right move career wise, but he always went with his heart.

You can see that throughout his acting life he has rarely taken the easy option. He's turned down some very lucrative roles just to star in low budget films where he thought the script would challenge him. Or he'd take a role in a BBC drama than go off to Hollywood to make a sure fire box office hit. Above all his greatest professional love was the theatre. If he were offered a part in a good play he'd take it like a shot, even though he could earn more money making a film.

I consider myself lucky in two ways with Dan. First, that he was my tutor in my first year of Uni, and secondly that he became my friend. Professionally as my teacher he wouldn't let me get away with anything, he was always on my back. I knew he did this because he had a high opinion of me, and my acting abilities. I could only hope that I could show to him that his confidence in me was not misplaced and work as hard as I could to better myself.

But now in my second year I am starting to get some serious doubts about myself. I wish that Dan were still here.

Our new main course tutor is one of the faculty staff who we'd only had occasionally the year before. She was a hard nosed bitch, and believe me that's being polite.

She started us off on the first day back with some crap speech that resembled something from a TV show called Fame. You know the one, that 80's show that they're re-running on cable every week day morning. It starts off with the dance teacher saying, "You want fame? Well fame costs, and right here's where you start paying. In sweat."

Okay, so it wasn't exactly like that, but she seemed to have a real chip on her shoulder that Dan was our tutor last year. Apparently he'd made it all too easy for us and that we should remember that we were preparing to enter a world that would chew us up and spit us out in a second.

What she was saying was that now the big star has gone off to Hollywood or wherever, we're now going to find out what hard work was all about.

Okay, so I wasn't best pleased to hear her dissing a friend of mine, someone whom I looked up to and respected. But I don't think I was being paranoid when I saw her look directly at me when she said that last sentence.

I asked Lottie what she thought about it after class had finished and she agreed that it seemed personal.

As term got under way I shook any feeling of doubt out of my mind. There was no doubt, Julie Howard hated me. Do you ever get the feeling that no matter how much you try, you can't do anything right for some people? She'd pull me up on the stupidest of mistakes and would often make an example out of me in front of the rest of the class.

Every year the theatre department would produce several big productions with the whole class making up the cast and crew. Theatre studies wasn't just acting, there was the backstage stuff as well. Okay, so I admit I don't have much interest in how a lighting rig works or how to set up a sound effects tape. I know that these things are good to learn as where would you be on stage without a spotlight? I paid attention in these classes and did okay, but I always thought I came into my own when I trod the boards. That was my domain, my field of expertise.

Along with the main productions the theatre department put on some minor plays as well. Perhaps a one act play with only a hand full of actors. All productions would earn us credit for our course. Last year I had a leading role in four of the seven major plays and a good role in the remaining three. Out of the ten smaller productions I was in seven of them.

I know what you're thinking. Andy only got the roles because he was teachers pet. Wrong! Dan was my fiercest critic, if I weren't good enough he would never have given me a part in any of the productions. There were times when he would cast me in a role that wasn't one of the leads, mainly because he thought I was right for it or that it would challenge me as an actor. I'd like to say it did and every time I got a part in a production I did my best to make as much of the role as I could.

Okay, so I can take criticism. I can also accept that it was just one play. But I thought that I had read really well. A group of us were chatting at lunch after the auditions and everyone agreed that I had the part in the bag.

I guess if I try to be objective about it I could say that not winning that part was a good way to prepare me for the disappointments ahead. After all I'm sure in the future I will have my fair share. I never take things for granted, but even I was sure that I had given my best audition performance to date.

Okay, so it was just a part in a crummy play. So what? Well, that's what I tried to tell myself. But by the end of the week I'd become thoroughly depressed. Tom, I knew picked up on my vibes straightaway and tried his best to talk me round. But I knew that no matter how much he wanted to be there for me, he just didn't get it.

The biggest critic in Andy's life is Andy. That's not unusual, after all we all tend to berate ourselves for things that we get wrong, mistakes we make and so on. But what Andy has trouble in seeing is that he is a great actor and he really shouldn't let things like not getting a role in one play get to him.

He says I don't get it, maybe I don't. What I do get is that the moment Andy walks on stage you sit up and take notice. He has a rare quality that shines out and above all around him. He could stand up there and recite the contents of the Yellow Pages and make it sound interesting. His stage presence is phenomenal.

Okay, maybe I'm biased; after all I'm the guy who gets to love him on a personal basis. But ask anyone in university `Who is Andy Harris?' and they will tell you that he's one of the most amazing people they've ever met. Everyone here knows or would like to know him and just about everyone loves Andy.

It's just a pity that he doesn't see himself how others see him. He is someone so blessed, so talented, yet his insecurities are so human. So yes, maybe I don't get it. Maybe I find it hard to understand how one rejection can send him spiralling downward. But then I don't really have to understand it. I just have to be there for him, pick him up when he's down. Why? Do you really have to ask the question? Because I love him!

I had thought of phoning Dan to ask his advice, but that was just stupid. I can't go running to him every time something goes wrong in my life. Turned out that I didn't have to.

It was Saturday morning and Tom, Lottie and I were in the living room all doing our own thing, just killing time until we were going off to see Jamie's debut performance on the football pitch later that afternoon.

Jamie was upstairs having a shower after his usual morning run with his friend Adam. Tom was sitting at the PC, writing a paper for his course. Lottie was plugged up to her Discman while painting her nails, and I was laid out on the couch, reading. Okay, I wasn't actually reading. I hadn't turned a page for half an hour. My mind kept on playing back the audition and I was wondering what I could have done better.

Suddenly I felt something hit me on the head, I looked down and saw a pen on the floor, then looked up over at Tom and scowled.

"What was that for?" I asked rubbing my head.

"Doorbell!" He replied, not even looking up from the monitor.

On cue the bell rang again. I must have been so lost in thought that I didn't hear it the first time or Tom calling me.

"And you can't get it because?" I asked pulling a face at him as I got up from the sofa and headed to the front door.

"You're nearer and I'm on a roll with this report. Besides, you do the meet and greet much better that I."

"You know all the right things to say don't you."

"I try my best. Now get the door." He said, finally looking up from his computer screen and smiling at me.

"Yes'm." I tugged an imaginary forelock then opened the front door to Dan and his boyfriend John.

"Dan! Oh my god, I was just thinking about you."

"Really? All good I hope." He replied smiling.

"You have no idea."

"So, you gonna let us in then?"

I opened the door fully to let Dan and John in and guided them through to the living room.

"Nice place you've got here Andy. I guess student hardship is something you just read about." Dan joked.

"So says the man with three homes." I retorted.

Between them, Dan and John had two flats in London and a farmhouse out in Hertfordshire. They used their flats in London individually when they were in the city working, but it was their farmhouse that they loved the most. Set in twenty acres of land, it gave them the privacy that they needed. John especially. While Dan could quite happily walk around town virtually unrecognised, John, as a member of one of the biggest boy bands around at the moment, gets mobbed almost every time he goes out in London.

I'd been to their farmhouse a couple of times over the summer when I had a weekend off from the RSC. That's when I first met John. Of course I'd heard a lot about him from Dan over the year at Uni and I kind of felt that I already knew him. Of course when we actually met I got a bit tongue tied at first, after all it is not everyday that you get to meet a hot pop star.

But John is the nicest guy you could ever meet, not at all the celebrity. In the line up of his band he's known as the cute one. He's twenty three, that's six years younger than Dan. Five foot nine, blond, the baby faced innocent one who's army of screaming girl fans would love to take home to meet their parents. I remember him saying once that while the other guys in the band had girls throwing themselves at them for sex, he'd get the girls wanting to mother him.

From the first time we met, we became good friends. So as much as I was glad to see Dan that morning I was also glad that John came to see us too.

"Hi Dan, John. To what do we owe the pleasure?" Asked Tom.

"I've come to speak to Andy about something." Dan replied.

"Sounds ominous." Tom replied.

There was something about the tone of Dan's voice that didn't sound too good.

"What's up Dan?" I asked.

He looked round at Tom and asked him if he minded that we speak alone. There was a brief concerned look on Tom's face but it vanished pretty quickly. Dan and I went out to the garden and sat down at the patio table.

"This really is a nice place you've got Andy. I hope that you and Tom will be very happy here."

"Cheers Dan. I appreciate that. I'm glad that you came over today, I was going to call you to bend your ear about something that's on my mind. But now you're here I'm more curious as to what's on your mind. What's up and why the privacy? You know anything you can say to me you can say to Tom."

"I know, and believe me I have no intention of making you keep to yourself what we're about to talk about. I just wanted to see you on your own first because what I have to show you I don't want taken out of context. I know from our past talks that Tom can be, how shall I put it? A little on the hotheaded side. I think it best that you see these before he does."

"Well you've got your audience on the edge of his seat."

Dan opened a bag and pulled out a brown envelope, you know the kind that has a card backing so that the contents don't bend, and pulled out half a dozen 10x8 black and white photographs and placed them on the garden table in front of me. Each picture showed a scene that if taken out of context, could look bad for both Dan and me.

They were all taken on the day that I went to see him filming on location, when I wanted to get his advice about the RSC and RADA. The first two photos showed us hugging; the next one was us kissing. I mean the kiss was just a brief peck on the lips that couldn't have lasted for more than a second and was nothing more that a greeting. But the photo could have looked as if it were more. It was taken at an angle where you couldn't see my face well, but there was no mistaking Dan and no mistaking that we kissed. The next two were shots of Dan taking hold of my hand when he was eager to show off his film star trailer and virtually pulled me in there. The last one was another hug, with us standing by his limo. I looked at Dan with a puzzled expression.

"A friend of mine sent me these copies. I say friend, more an acquaintance. He's a journalist and wanted to warn me that the paper he works on were planning on printing them. Or so he says."

I was taken aback. "Oh shit! Oh my god! Shit, Dan. I'm so sorry. I just wasn't thinking when I went to kiss you hello and all that."

"Andy, stop. Look it's just one of those things, don't beat yourself up over it."

"Yeah, but it could ruin your career if these pictures get into the paper."

"Last century, maybe. But now, no, I doubt it. We're not talking front-page headlines here. More like a half page in a show biz column of one of the gutter tabloids. I could care less about that. What I am more worried about is you."

I looked at him quizzically.

"Once the paper hits the news stands you'll have a dozen reporters out looking for you, and they will find you. They'll be door stepping you for a story, and they're not likely to take a `no comment' for an answer."

"Well, that's all they'll get from me. I take it that John's seen these photos?"

"Of course. And no don't worry, he sees them for what they are. We've spoken at length about them with each other and a couple of friends whom we trust and have come to the conclusion that the press have us over a barrel."

"How do you mean?"

"We think that these pictures are like a bargaining chip. As I said, pictures of me kissing an unknown will not sell papers on their own. It's not really a story. What would be a story would be one where John was involved. This `friend' of mine didn't send me these with the kindness of his heart, he knows about John and I, as do a few other people. He also knows damn well that I would never want to have a friend of mine innocently dragged through the mud like that. But Fleet Street has one rule, if it's news it's in. The only way to quash this story is to provide a bigger one."

"You mean one about you and John?"

The patio door opened and Tom, Lottie and John stepped out into the garden. They all joined Dan and I at the table. Tom looked down at the pictures, then back up at me. I drew my breath in fearing what his reaction was going to be.

"They're not bad, in focus and everything." This was not the reaction from Tom that I was expecting. I did fear that he was going to go into a jealous rage or something.

Tom went on to tell me that John had told him what Dan and I were talking about and why Dan wanted to speak to me first.

"I'm sorry Dan, Andy" Said John, his eyes doing his trademark lost puppy look that sent so many of the fans of his into a frenzy. "Tom and Lottie dragged it out of me, threatened me with all kinds of unspeakable horrors if I didn't tell."

"What kind of horrors?" Asked Dan with a mockingly angry tone to his voice and devilish look in his eyes.

"I don't know. They didn't speak them!" He smiled then did the puppy dog thing again.

"It's a good job that you're cute." Said Dan. John pouted at him. Then they both laughed at what was obviously a private joke between them. Dan then turned his attention back to Tom. "I'm sorry about the cloak and dagger style, but I thought it best that I spoke to Andy first."

"You guys thought that I would have boiled over didn't you?" Tom asked looking over at Dan, John then me. We all nodded. "Andy, I trust you, end of story. The question now is, what are we going to do about this?"

All eyes turned to Dan, I guess we all figured that he'd have the answers.

On the day of our first match I was getting ready when Andy came into my room to apologise for not being able to go to come and watch. He told me about he and his friend Dan being in a newspaper article.

"You're in the paper? Cool!"

"Not cool. There's a whole bunch of shit that's about to hit the fan, Tom, Lottie and I are heading out with Dan and John, meeting a couple of people who hopefully will be able to work out what to do. I think Dan's probably already got it sussed. I'm really sorry that we can't make it to your first match, but we'll make up for it later, promise."

"It's fine, no bother. Is it okay if I invite my pal Adam back after the match?"

"Sure, just don't trash the place while we're gone."

"Not even a little mom?" I whined sarcastically.

He smiled the most evilest smile that he could and said with his deepest Sarf Lundun accent "It'll be fuckin' `ard for ya to kick a football about after I've knee capped ya Jamie Clarke."

We kissed goodbye then I got my kit together ready for the match. A few minutes after everyone left Adam was knocking at the door and we were making our way down to school to meet the minibus that was going to take us to our first match of the season.

The journey was pretty rowdy; all of us in high spirits ready to win the day. Apparently the school we were up against had won the county league for the last three years and we didn't have a hope in hell to beat them. But that didn't seem to register with any of the guys, we were all psyched. In the changing room, Gurkman, our coach, was giving us the inspirational team talk that went something like this.

"Okay pussies you're going to win this or you'll have me to deal with."

Soul stirring stuff! The plan for the match was to play defensive, just try to keep the ball away from our goal. This plan was shot down within ten minutes of the game when they scored. By half time we were feeling tired, they were running us round the pitch and we were lucky that they didn't score another three more times.

Another team talk was just as stirring as the first, except this one we had the hell rinsed out of us by Gherkin, who stormed out of the locker room in a huff.

Then Adam stood up. "Guys, we can win this. Forget the game plan that Gherkin gave us, just try to get the ball and get it as far up front as you can. Don't be afraid of them, they're the pussies. Let's do it."

Every one cheered on and we ran out onto the pitch ready for the next forty five minutes of battle.

Score line 1-0 to the home team

Two minutes in to the second half they scored again.

2-0. We were done for. That was until a breakthrough was made and Adam got the ball passed to him just after the half way line. He dribbled it down until he had a clear shot of the goal, but was intercepted by a defender and the ball was kicked off which gave us a corner. Adam took the corner, I managed to dodge the guy who was marking me and headed the ball into the back of the net.

2-1. Adam came running up to me and we bumped chests, the rest of the guys rushed us for big hugs. The next opportunity came when I had the ball passed to me, I dribbled it along and I could see a defender from the corner of my eye heading for me. I was just about to take my shot, the goalie was ready for me, then I stopped, and instinctively I knew where Adam was and back kicked the ball towards him. He had a clear shot. He scored. The look on the goalie's face was worth a picture.

2-2. The third time was almost a carbon copy of the last one, I got the ball, the defender came for me. The goalie saw I was about to do the same trick and concentrated on where Adam was, I jumped the ball, then pulled it round again, dodged the defender, then whisked it past the goalie and scored while he was heading for Adam.

3-2. To us. The end whistle was blown and a new scoring partnership was born. The whole team rushed Adam and me and lifted us off the ground, all singing the schools name as they went.

Back in the visitors changing room spirits rose to a new high when we heard that out of the twelve schools competing in our county league we were fourth from top of the table. The journey home in the bus was loud and raucous singing all the way. I was sitting next to Adam and over the din I asked him if he wanted to hang out at my place for the afternoon maybe have a swim or something. He said that he was supposed to meet Paula but...

He pulled out his mobile and stuck his finger in his ear to block out some of the noise. Then he said to me that Paula and Amy were in town shopping and maybe we could all meet up at my place. I agreed, Adam gave her the address and said to meet us there, adding that they should bring their swimming costumes.

When we were dropped off at the school there was much hugging and slapping of backs as we all said our goodbyes and see you laters.

"So, feeling shit about playing now?" Said Adam as he and I made our way to the house.

"No so much." I replied.

"Fuck Jamie, first game of the season and I've got a feeling that we're going to win the league this year. County High haven't won it in ten years, you and me mate, we're going to bring that trophy home."

He then went into singing a round of `It's coming home, It's coming home, football's coming home."

We all felt bad about not going to see Jamie's first football match, after all, we had promised him that we would support him in whatever he chose to do. Thankfully though, the ghosts that were been dragged up by this whole football thing seemed well and truly buried.

I think it had a lot to do with a new friend he had made called Adam. He'd spoken to us about him a few times and I got more than a feeling that Jamie was falling for him.

Dan had arranged for us to meet up with a couple of friends of his, so we all piled into his Land Rover Discovery and made our way down the country lanes. Dan hates motorways, he says that they don't give people the opportunity to explore the country enough. An hour later we were all outside a pub restaurant in the middle of nowhere.

Dan and John seemed to know the owner well as they greeted each other warmly. The owner showed us to a table hidden in a corner that would give us the privacy that we needed. Dan's two friends were already seated. Both women, who looked to be about the same age as Dan, were dressed smart but casual.

"Cathy, Jenna" They air kissed hello. "Thanks for coming. I'd like you to meet Andy, Lottie and Tom. Cathy is my best friend and Jenna just tags along for the ride."

We all said hello to each other then took our seats round the table just as the waiter brought the menus to us and asked if we wanted anything to drink. We gave our order and after he left Jenna turned round to me and said.

"So you're the Andy Harris that Dan has been going on about. You've been making quite a name for yourself young man."

I blushed slightly and replied "I guess." Then thought about what she'd said and wondered to myself why do people keep on addressing me as `young man' whenever they tell me that I'm supposed to be doing well?

"Jenna's not only my friend, she's my agent." Dan then whispered over to me. "If she ever wants to sign you up, agree to no more than ten percent. Give her half the chance, she'll fleece you."

"You shit Daniel Spurn, you know you couldn't do without me." Jenna retorted.

"And you my fifteen percent darling."

"So" Jenna announced, turning round to Cathy, "He drags us up from London to the backwaters of nowhere to meet him about this problem of his and spends the afternoon insulting us."

"No Jen, just you." Replied Dan with a very disarming smile.

I couldn't help wonder if this would be Lottie and I in ten years time. Dan and Jenna seemed to have the same rapport as we do. I looked over at Lottie and I think she was thinking exactly the same. Meanwhile Tom, John and Cathy all exchanged a look that just confirmed what I was thinking.

After the waiter served us with our drinks and took our lunch orders Cathy asked Dan to run the problem by her again. She and Jenna sat there listening to Dan all looking quite serious until Dan finished.

"Speaking as your friend Dan." Said Jenna. "You're screwed. Speaking as your agent. Yep, you're screwed."

"You've already decided what you're going to do haven't you Dan?" Asked Cathy.

"Well the way I can see it there's only one thing to do. We're going to have to give them the story about John and I."

"No!" I exclaimed. "It's my fault that this has happened. There's no way that John should risk his career because of it."

"Andy, it is no one's fault, so stop blaming yourself." Said Dan while putting his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm afraid that Andy's right Dan." Said Cathy. "If you go to the press with the story of you and John being an item you face a good possibility that John would have to quit his band in the wake of a hell of a lot of bad publicity. On top of that the only guarantee that you will have to keep Andy's face out of the papers is just the word of a very dubious journalist."

"But" John finally spoke up. "The way I see it is that the band has probably one, maybe two more years left at the top. Then we'll go the same way as all boy bands. We've already started talking about what we're going to do when we split. I say bring it on. I am sick of having to deny who I am and whom I love. This could be just the thing that we need. We just have to put a spin on in so that it turns out our way."

The waiter arrived with our lunches and once he had placed them in front of us and left, Dan continued.

"And that my dear Cathy is where you come in. You're one of the best P.R's in the business, if we handle this right no one needs to get hurt. As I said before it is very unlikely that the news of me being gay will have much of an effect on my career. I can pretty much choose the roles I play and I don't see that changing. Okay, so it may restrict me breaking into Hollywood, but that's not very high up on my agenda anyway. I am quite happy on the West End or acting in British films and television. A big fish in a small pond, if you like. If John comes out, yes it's a calculated risk and it could go belly up. But above all it's Andy who I am worried about. I do not want him exposed to this kind of press."

"You want my professional advice?" Cathy asked. "I'd say let them run the original story. That will be the best bit of damage limitation that I can think of."

"Not an option." Said Dan firmly. "I will not see Andy's career cut short because of this."

Dan was adamant in his decision, but I had to agree with Cathy. "Dan, I appreciate your concern. But I think that Cathy is right. John has far more to loose that I do. I mean so what if they print those photographs. The accompanying story will be minimal and will pass in a day or so. Let's face it, the only way it will run on is if they manage to get any of us to talk about it, which we're not going to do."

"Ahem!" Lottie piped up. "Andy honey, if there's money involved I'd sell your soul to the devil without a second thought." She smiled sweetly.

I laughed out and was just about to come back with a witty retort but Tom beat me to it.

"Lottie, no one's going to believe the ravings of a mad woman." He then not waiting for a further retort, turned round to me and asked "Andy, are you sure you want to do this? Like Dan said, this could ruin your career before it even begins."

"What will be will be" I replied. "Look, for me acting is something I love. So what if I don't become a huge star. I don't want that anyway. I just want to act. I am sure that once I get through university Dudley will be happy to have me back at the RSC. Even if that's all I ever do for the rest of my life I will be happy. Happy because I am on stage, the rest of it can go screw as far as I'm concerned."

I think it was at that point that everyone round that table got the message that I wasn't going to budge. Cathy, Jenna and Dan came up with a strategy that would hopefully see us through the next couple of days. They prepared a statement that Jenna's office would put out concerning the photographs. Something along the lines of `innocent closeness between good friends should not be taken out of context.' It went on to say candidly `Daniel Spurn and Andy Harris are theatrical actors who honour the traditions of luviedom. Hugs and kisses are not that unusual in that world.'

"Above all." said Cathy to Dan and me. "Under no circumstances are you to comment to the newspapers. Might be an idea for you all to lay low for a couple of days."

"How about you guys spending the next few days down with us?" John asked.

"That would be cool." I replied, then added for politeness. "But we don't want to be any bother."

Then Tom Said "What about Jamie? We can't really take him out of school. Maybe I should stay behind with him."

He had a point, I mean Jamie had only just started at his new school and I doubt that taking him out of classes would go down well with the school administration.

We thought about if for a while then Tom a brainwave. "How about if I were to ask a friend of mine over at the university to take him in for a couple of days?"

Sounded like a good plan. I gave Cathy our home phone number and my mobile and she gave us her office and mobile numbers just in case things got bad.

You know what I said to Paula when I saw Jamie walk into class for the first time was `Phwor! I wouldn't mind getting in the shower with him.' She happily agreed and added that if she wasn't seeing Adam she'd go for him herself. I think that she was happy that I'd noticed him as well, because up till that point I'd sworn off of men for good.

I'd been seeing Michael for a year and two months when we'd had the break up. I'd been getting ready for the long distance relationship as he was off to Bristol University and I knew we wouldn't be able to see each other often. At first he was all `We'll speak on the phone everyday', and `it'll only be a couple of months before I'm home for Christmas.' Then as the summer went on he started going on about maybe we should be taking a break and that if I did meet someone when he was away he'd be okay about it. If that wasn't bad enough he added that he didn't think we should remain exclusive. What an arsehole. I dumped him and swore that I wouldn't fall in love again.

So I cried a lot, Paula, my best friend was great, saying all the right things that you're supposed to say at the right time, including my comment about the new boy.

I introduced myself to Jamie as soon as I could, but not wanting to make it too obvious; I invited him along to the common room with the rest of the gang. I really wanted to get to know this guy. Well who wouldn't? Blond hair, blue eyes and a body that put some very naughty thoughts in my mind, he was fit. He made his school uniform look so sexy like no other boy in class could, and as we headed upstairs I walked a few steps behind his and checked out one of the best bums that I've ever seen. I think the phrase `Work it baby' was invented for him. He's just sooo sexy. Just the way he walks, the way he talks, his dreamy Scottish accent, his coy smile, the way he sucks on the top of his pen when he's deep in thought during class, and the way he makes me feel whenever I'm near him.

"You got it bad girl." Was what Paula said to me after I told her all that.

But what I like about Jamie most is the way that one minute he can be the most confident person in the world, then the next he'd seem like the most vulnerable. It's not an act; he's genuinely like that as I found out as I got to know him more.

I feel like he's lived so much more than anyone of our age that I know. He'd told us of his summer in Edinburgh and how he ran away from home and was working in a café by day and clubbing at night. I mean my mum freaks if I'm back home after ten, let alone the thought of going out clubbing every night, she'd have a fit.

His friends at university sounded real cool too. But as much as I found out about him, I couldn't help the feeling that he was holding something back from us, something, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

I was really glad when Jamie became good friends with Adam, I hated Gary and even though those two weren't the best of friends anymore he still hung around us because of Kim. Kim was my other best friend, but she had a really crap taste in boys, hence Gary.

But Adam and Jamie were like two peas in a pod, like they were made to be best friends. This was good for everyone as far as I could see. Good for Jamie because he managed to fit in with us real easy and having a best friend like Adam does a lot for your street cred, believe me.

Jamie was good for Adam because although Adam had Paula, ever since he and Gary had their big fight Adam's been at a loss for a best friend. Don't get me wrong Adam's probably got more friends then the rest of us put together, he's probably one of the most popular boys in school. But he has never had another guy friend that he's been close to since Gary.

Jamie was good for Paula because he seemed to be a calming influence on Adam. I don't know why, because calm is not really a word I would use to describe Jamie, but since he and Adam became friends Adam has seemed to be far more attentive and loving towards Paula.

Paula and Adam have had a bit of a tempestuous relationship over the past year or so. They love each other, anyone can see that, but they keep on fighting about the silliest of things. I was sure that Paula was going to split up with Adam not long after term had started, I think that she had her doubts mainly because she was worried that if she did split with him her cred would go down. Okay, so Paula's my best friend, but she's also one of the shallowest people I know and thinks a lot about herself and no one else. But she is my best friend and I'll stand by her. Unless she makes a play for my Jamie that is.

And me? Well Jamie's good for me because he's the man I'm going to marry. I read it in my horoscope, end of story.

So I'm out shopping with Paula and she was just about to tell me something important when her mobile rang. It was Adam inviting us over to Jamie's for a swim and lunch. Paula asked me if I wanted to go while Adam was still on the other end. Did I? I couldn't say yes fast enough. This was it; this was the day that I was going to ask him out. I'd spent the past two weeks hinting to him that I was waiting for him to ask me. But like I said he can be so sweet and shy at times. But this is the twenty first century, a girl can do the asking and a girl gets what she wants.

We rushed back home to pick up our swimming costumes; Paula who lives across the road from me was only a few minutes getting hers. Then we spent the next quarter of an hour selecting what I was going to wear for Jamie, both in and out of the pool. Then we headed off to Jamie's to wait for the guy's return.

It was a great day weather wise. We had one of those Indian summers in September where it was hotter than August. And even though it was now the second week in October, there was a bit of a chill in the air but the sun was out and it was still warm enough to swim.

I was so psyched about seeing Jamie and thinking about asking him out I totally forgot that Paula had some serious news to tell me. I think that what with the way I was going on, Paula must have forgotten to tell me also.

When we arrived at Jamie's we didn't have to wait long. They got there just a few minutes after us. Adam rushed up to Paula and gave her a big snog. Meanwhile Jamie said hi to me and complemented me on what I was wearing. Score one to me, yay! He seemed really happy and I don't think it was just because they had a good game where he scored two goals if you know what I mean.

We went straight through the house and out into the garden. I was seriously impressed by the size of the place, I knew that Jamie's friends were renting it, they really must have been loaded.

Jamie pointed to a small building at the back of the garden and said that there was a changing room there if we wanted to use it. He and Adam went indoors to change and get some drinks for us all.

On our way home from School Adam said that he's have to go back to his to pick up some swimming shorts as he didn't want to use his dirty football shorts in the pool. I said that he was more than welcome to borrow a pair of my shorts and save a journey.

When we got back to the house the girls were already waiting for us. Adam made a beeline for Paula and swept her of her feet, literally. I said hello to Amy and said something to her about looking really nice. The girls went into the pool house at the back of the garden while Adam and I went upstairs to my room. We went straight into my room but I needed to take a leak so I told him that he'd find a spare pair of swim shorts in the bottom drawer of my wardrobe.

I was just finishing off when I heard Adam laugh and call out "What the fuck are these?"

I flushed and joined him in my room curious as to what he found funny. He was holding up a multi coloured thong that I borrowed from Andy ages ago, with his other hand he was still rummaging around the drawer and instead of a pair of shorts he found another thong.

"Why?" he asked trying to suppress another laugh.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I replied while trying to snatch the thongs out of his hand.

"Try me." This time there was no pretence at his amusement. I think I had started to blush.

"Okay. Well back in Edinburgh I used to earn a bit of extra money by stripping."

This wasn't exactly a lie. Okay, so that's not entirely the reason I own some shall we say exotic underwear and swimwear. Most of my underwear actually belongs to Andy, he's got so many that he could probably wear a different pair every day for two years and not wear the same one twice. But while he has a full-blown undie fetish, I'm more into the idea that I look good in them and I know that Andy agrees.

As for the stripping, yep, I did do a couple of strips at an amateur night competition in one of the Edinburgh gay pubs. They used to pay fifty quid to every one who had the guts to enter, and then the winner got a hundred pounds. Easy money and I won both times, plus the punters would stuff notes into my pouch, while copping a bit of a feel too.

I made over three hundred quid each night. I would have done it more often but the bar management found out that I was under 18 and not only barred me from the strip competition but also barred me from the pub too. Bastards!

I guess this is where I should say that I wasn't proud of doing it and that it was only for the money. But that wouldn't be entirely true. When I was in Edinburgh I did quite a lot of things that I never thought I'd ever do. I made a lot of friends up there who helped me grow up a hell of a lot in the months that I had moved out of my parents. Of course I told Tom and Andy none of this, they'd have probably have freaked if they knew.

"Fuck off, no way." Adam said with a shocked look on his face, you could hear the sound of his jaw dropping on the floor when I revealed a little more of my sordid summer in Edinburgh.

"Aye. It's true."

"That is so cool. I bet the girls went crazy when you did your act."

"Erm, I suppose. Anyway lets find some shorts and get to the pool." I thought it best to get the subject changed as soon as possible. I didn't really want to tell Adam that it wasn't the girls that I was stripping for.

"I've got a better idea." He announced with a glint in his eye.

"What?" I asked cautiously.

"How about we do a `Full Monty' for the girls by the pool?"

"Fuck off. They'll freak."

"And?"

"No way. Besides you've not got the guts."

"Haven't I?" He said with the same glint in his eye.

He pulled his top off then his jeans and boxer briefs down. Standing naked in front of me, he held out both pairs of thongs and chose the multi-coloured one, then threw the black one at me and told me to strip. He pulled the thong on and rearranged himself several times till he was satisfied that he was as comfortable as he could be. He took a look at himself in the full-length mirror on my wardrobe.

"Girl bait, pure bloody girl bait. You gonna strip or you just gonna stare at me?"

Busted.

"C'mon" He said, gesturing for me to get my clothes off. "It'll be a laugh. We'll turn the sound system on then both go out to the pool and strip for the girls."

"What all the way?" I asked. I think the tone of my voice sounded a bit worried. Adam just laughed and said.

"The Full Monty? I don't know. Go with the flow I guess."

"You are mad, you do know that."

"Yep. And that's why everyone loves me." He replied, adding a sarcastic smile.

We decided to pull on shorts over our thongs then wrap towels around our waists. Then we went down to the living room where I found a copy of `The Full Monty' film sound track on CD that Lottie happened to own and put on that track by Tom Jones and turned the midi system up loud.

As we slid the patio door open and stepped out Amy and Paula were sitting on the edge of the pool at the far end near the pool house. They started cheering us on even before we'd started our strip. I mean come on, since that film you can't listen to that song without thinking about the film's final strip scene.

Adam was the first to remove his towel, he twisted it around and slung it under his legs and started gyrating with it. I pissed myself laughing, then Amy called out to me "Now you Jamie!" I pulled my towel off and tossed it over Adam's head. He threw it back to me; we were both cracking up. I then spotted the pool hose, pulled it out, placed it between my legs and started pretending to jack it off. That had Adam and the girls in stitches.

We carried on dancing about for a while and just before the song finished Adam caught my eye and signalled that we should pull our shorts down. Both Amy and Paula were screaming "Off, off off!" as they saw what we were about to do, but I don't think either of them thought that we would go through with it though. I was having my own doubts, but what the hell.

"Oh my god!" Paula cried out when we revealed the thongs that he and I were wearing under our shorts. Adam and I high fived each other while the girls were still in fits of laughter.

Adam whispered to me that we should dive in, swim up to the girls and pull them in from the poolside. I agreed. Again we high fived then he went over to the pool's edge but didn't pick his shorts up along the way.

This was good and this was bad. Good because it meant that I'd get to see his sexy butt for longer, bad because I was doing all I could to stop myself from getting a woody thinking about his sexy butt with that thong strap in between it.

Just before Adam was about to dive in he stopped and asked me if the water was cold. To answer his own question he dipped his foot in and pulled it out quickly.

"It's freezing!" he exclaimed loudly.

"That's the trouble with you English bastards, you're blood's too thin." I replied running up to him and pushing him in.

A few seconds later he surfaced screaming and laughing "BOLLOCKS! It's cold. You fucking bastard, I'll get you for that. You wait. You fucker."

I took a few steps back then ran up to the pool and dive-bombed Adam narrowly missing him. Just as I came back up he pounced on me; his arms round my neck and trying to pull me under. I thrashed about a bit, trying, not too hard, to shake him off. That's when I felt his thong encased package rub up in between my butt cheeks. As he was trying to get a better grip around me he got even closer and I moved back slightly, we were virtually spliced together. Although I loved the sensation of the lycra material of his thong rubbing up against my crack, I wished that we had done the Full Monty as it would have been his naked dick there instead.

We both stopped thrashing about, like we were both trying to work out what the other would do next. I moved back slightly more, I could tell that unlike me he wasn't hard, but I think that maybe he was getting a semi. I don't know, it was all too quick, and the next moment he let go off me and swam back slightly.

I turned round to face him, I was a bit worried that maybe I'd over stepped a mark or something. He looked at me with his toothy grin and said "Do you give up?"

"If you do." I replied.

"Truce?"

"Truce."

"Hey, you two, are you getting in or what?" Adam called out to the girls. I'd almost forgotten that Amy and Paula were there. They were still sitting on the pools' edge, legs paddling in the water.

"What and get me hair wet?" Paula replied.

"Gurlz" Adam huffed in a sarcastic way. I just shrugged my shoulders. He swam up to Paula and she leaned in to kiss him. I thought for a moment that he was going to pull her in, but he must have thought better of it. Instead after they kissed he swam back to me and said "See, they have no idea how to have fun."

"Oi!" Paula shouted after him. But her protest had fallen on deaf ears, Adam had spotted a ball floating in the corner of the pool and for the next half hour or so he and I played a sort of one on one water polo game. Lots of fun, lots of diving at each other and lots of body contact.

We finished playing when Amy called out to us about getting some lunch together. I realised that with all the fun that we were having I'd not eaten since the night before and was starving.

As Adam and I climbed out Paula walked up to him and they had a quick snog.

"Ahem! Lunch." Said Amy.

"Right." Replied Adam, pulling away from Paula.

I said that I would fix us something and they could stay outside if they liked. Adam said that he would help me. "Okay." I replied.

"And put some shorts on you two. Those things are obscene." Paula called out.

"You didn't seem to mind earlier." Adam laughed at her.

"Yeah, that was then. But you're not seriously going to wear them all day are you?"

Adam replied with his best Austin Powers impression "Do I make you horny baby? Do I?" He bent down slightly and smacked his arse a couple of times.

Paula laughed then replied very straight faced "Like that? No."

"Okay point taken." He walked over to where we'd dropped our shorts earlier, picked both pairs up then tossed one in my direction. "Looks like we've got the taste police here. Better cover up before they start crying."

***

After we ate lunch on the lawn the four of us just veged out, catching the rays of what was probably one of the last decent late summer afternoons. Adam had just returned from a visit to the toilet holding a guitar in his hand.

"Whose is this?" He asked.

"Oh Lottie's. She's been trying to learn to play, says that it's on her list of things to do before she's twenty one."

"So you don't play?"

"Me? No. I've tried but I can't seem to get my hands to do what they're supposed to do."

"Play us something Adam." Asked Paula.

"No, I'm really not that good."

"Don't listen to him." Said Amy to me. "He's really good. He's in a band you know"

"Really?" I asked.

"Well sort of" Adam replied. "I play with some guys up at the university, we did a couple of gigs last year, but I don't know if we're still together because I haven't seen them all summer." Adam sat down cross-legged and strummed a few notes and grimaced.

"It seems that your Lottie hasn't worked out how to tune a guitar yet."

He plucked a few strings and twisted the keys until he was satisfied with the sound then started strumming until he decided what to play. After a few cords he sang a song that I recognised by a band that Tom was into called The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Adam sang with such an amazing voice and such passion, I was really taken aback.

"That was brilliant." I said when he finished.

"Yeah," Agreed Amy. "but too sad."

"Why can't you play something happy for a change?" Enquired Paula.

"I'm a guitar player, I don't know any happy songs. I know, how about some Beatles?" Adam suggested.

"How about something we've heard of?" Paula carried on "I mean it's not right, Beatles. What are you? Your dad or something?"

Adam looked at me for support, shrugged then sighed.

"Don't look at me mate." I said. "I'm with Paula on that. If I can't dance to it I'm not interested. I'll leave that kind of music to Tom, he goes on about the Beatles almost as much as his rock music."

"Okay" Adam announced. "Let's dumb this down a bit for the musically challenged here."

When he finished I said that I wished that I could play the guitar to Adam. He handed it to me and gestured for me to give it a go. There was no way that I was going to even think about making an idiot out of myself. But he kept on insisting that I at least gave it a try.

I put my fingers where I thought they should go and the instrument let out some strange noise that was as far removed from music as it could possibly be. He moved over to where I was sitting and took my fingers in his hand and tried to place them where they should go. Again I strummed and it sounded like I managed to get a note out of the guitar. He then tried placing my fingers in other positions but we weren't getting very far.

"Okay." He said "I've an idea."

He got up then sat down behind me. I could feel his body pressing right up against mine and feel his soft dick cradled in his shorts in the small of my back. He then wrapped his arms round me and took hold of the guitar. For some reason I forgot about playing the guitar as my mind wondered off into another place.

"Now watch what I'm doing." He said. I snapped out of my train of thought as he strummed a few notes, then took his right hand away and instructed me to carry on. He continued to change cords while I strummed away, and together we made music.

After we'd messed about with the guitar for a bit the four of us just laid out on the grass soaking up the rays. I heard Adam and Paula start getting it on with each other, snogging away. I felt a pang of jealousy, I wished that it was me he was kissing. I did my best to ignore it and did pretty well with the help of Amy, who was laying next to me.

"You alright Jamie?" She asked rolling up right next to me.

"Aye, fine. It's been a good day, hasn't it?"

"I've had a great time. Thanks for asking us over."

"No bother."

"It's nice to spend some time with you outside of school. I really like you Jamie."

"Aye and I like you too."

"You do?"

"Course."

What happened next nearly had my eyes out on their stalks. Amy rolled over even closer to me then planed her lips on mine. FUCK! She was kissing me. I was about to go into full panic mode when I heard Lottie's voice call out from over by the house.

"Sorry to pull you away Jamie, but could you come in for a minute?"

I was never so relieved to hear Lottie in my life. I pulled away from Amy, who was clearly not happy about the interruption. I got up and called over that I'd be right there. Adam and Paula looked up at me and I just shrugged, then said I wouldn't be long.

I got inside and was about to hug Lottie, but then I saw along with her, Andy and Tom were Dan and John. I nodded hello to them and Andy was the first to speak.

"Jamie, I'm sorry mate, but you're going to have to ask your friends to leave."

"Why what's up?"

"We've got a bit of a situation and we've got a lot of sorting out to do."

He went on to explain about the newspapers and something about a story that was going to be printed. This didn't sound too good to me and I could see by the concern on all their faces that they were serious.

Tom continued by telling me the plan for the next few days, and all of us were going to leave the house. The chances are that the press will be down in their hoards as soon as someone finds out where Andy lives.

"They're pretty good at tracking people down." Said John with a tone of bitterness in his voice.

"So where are we going to go then?" I asked.

"We'll be staying over with Dan and John." Andy replied. "It's probably the safest place at the moment. It won't be for long, just enough time to let things blow over."

"What about school?" I asked.

Tom replied. "I don't know, I guess you'll just have to miss a few days. It can't be helped. Unless of course we can find a friend who can put you up for a couple of nights. I'll call a couple of people in a minute to see if you can crash round at their place."

There was a knock on the patio windows and Adam stepped in.

"Sorry Jamie, I didn't mean to over hear but I just came up to say that the girls are getting changed and if I can grab my stuff we'll be making a move. But I heard the last few things said and if you want I can fix it with my folks and you can stay over at mine for a few days. That way you don't miss school or more importantly football practice."

I liked that idea. Okay so I also like the idea of missing school while staying at Dan and John's. But the chance to stay over at Adam's just wasn't to be missed. I introduced Adam to everyone as because even though Adam had been around a few times it was always really early in the morning for our runs and that was long before anyone in the house were awake.

"Well if you don't mind Adam." said Tom. "That would solve a bit of a problem."

"I'm sure it will be okay. My parents are pretty good about friends staying over. I'll just go up and grab my stuff then pop home to ask them."

Just then Paula and Amy stuck their heads in and were just about mid sentence in their good byes when they both spotted our two famous guests.

"Oh my god. It can't be! That's John from Diversion." Said Paula almost screaming.

"And the actor Daniel Spurn!" Exclaimed Amy. "Jamie said that he knew you, but the guys didn't believe him." She said to Daniel.

"Hi." Said John taking a step forward to shake both their hands. "You're friends of Jamie's I take it?"

"Erm, y-yes" Stammered Paula taking hold of his hand to shake, but not being able to release it, she shook it over and over. "I can't believe it, I can't believe it. You're like my favourite. I mean, I-I've got all of the guys pictures all over my walls, but you're my favourite. I can't believe you're here."

I thought that Paula was about to faint.

"Get a grip." Said Amy to Paula, who replied by looking daggers at her. Paula knowing full well that she was making a tit out of herself. John didn't seem to mind though, I guess he must be used to it.

Adam came down dressed and was laughing at the state that Paula was getting herself into. "Come on Paula, put the nice pop star down, we've got to make a move."

He then told me that he would ask his parents about staying over and then said that he and Paula were going to the cinema tonight and maybe Amy and I could come for a double date.

Reminding myself of the kissing incident a few minutes ago I wasn't sure what excuse I could come out with that would sound good. Luckily I didn't have to as Amy said that she had to baby sit tonight and that she would love to invite me over but the family that she sits for wouldn't like it.

"Oh that's too bad." I said trying not to sound too relieved. "Maybe next time."

As soon as they left Andy asked me if I could trust them to keep quite about seeing Dan and John here. I replied straight away that I could.

"Come on Jame, let's get the garden tidied up and then we can get our stuff together for a few days."

I followed Andy into the garden then started folding up the towels that were strewn on the grass and Andy was picking up the plates that we had used for lunch.

"So that's Adam then? Seems all right, nice bod. Too bad he's straight."

"Tell me about it." I replied. I wasn't able to hide the note of sadness in my voice at Andy's observation. He has always been very hot with the gaydar, very rarely making a mistake on someone's sexuality. I remember Tom joking with him that he could tell if a guy was gay within seconds of meeting them; sometimes they didn't even need to speak for him to know.

"Why do I always fall for the wrong guys Andy?" He came over to where I was standing and put his arm round me, we then sat down on the grass and I continued. "First there was Tom, then you and now..." My voice trailed off as I realised I was about to cry.

Andy pulled me into a tighter hug and then said. "Jamie, you can have anyone you want. You know that. I mean you've had more sex then me this summer..." I made a sort of huffing noise and then Andy pulled a face at me before he continued. "...But then with the time that Tom and I have been apart, I bet everyone but the Pope has had more than me this summer."

I laughed at that, then added. "But it's not just about sex. It just feels like the people who I really fall for are either taken or straight. What's the secret Andy?"

"Eh?" Andy asked.

"Well I mean you've converted loads of straight guys, Tom was straight, so was your friend Dean. And I've heard about the university rugby team." I added the last one in for a laugh.

"Who told you that one?" He asked trying to sound annoyed.

"Tom. He said you were a right slapper." Andy raised an eyebrow at me. "No, not really. I remembered you guys' joking about it once that's all. So, What's the secret then?"

"You want me to teach you?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because if you start down the path to the dark side," He then did his Yoda voice. "forever will it consume you. Hum YES!"

I couldn't help myself laughing at him.

"Jamie, there's no secret. Just be yourself. Who knows maybe I'm wrong? Maybe he just needs a bit of the old Jamie magic and he'll be putty in your hands. Just take care not to get hurt."

"I'll try." I replied taking in his words and knowing he was right.

"Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try."

***

Tom, Andy and Lottie set off just before evening, Adam called back earlier to say that it was okay by his parents for me to stay over at his house. He then said that he would come by when he gets back from Paula's later on.

I had a few hours to kill before Adam would be back and I thought about going down to the student union bar, now that I had a student I.D card that Tom managed to get for me, getting in wouldn't be a problem. I went upstairs to change out of my shorts and put something decent to wear on. When I got into my bathroom I noticed the pair of shorts that I had lent Adam for our swim laying on the floor. I picked them up and the thong that he'd been wearing underneath fell out.

I scooped it up and instantly held it to my nose and took a deep breath. Unfortunately all I could smell from the pouch was the chlorine from the pool, there wasn't a hint of Adam's man smell. No matter, my mind took me back to the afternoon when I saw him wearing it and how it looked so good on him. I pulled it on and instantly became hard. Just knowing that my tackle was occupying the same space as Adam's was earlier got me feeling hot.

Sprawled out on my bed, I thought about our play fight in the pool and how our bodies were touching. I thought about when he first stripped off in front of me and put the thong on. He was so fit; his body toned to perfection with all the sports that he does. I started to rub myself through the skimpy lycra material, pre-cum oozing out. How I wanted Adam, more that anything, I wanted to be with him.

I pulled my cock out from its confines, letting its six and a half uncut inches stand free. I moved my hand up and down the pulsating shaft, shivers of pure ecstasy ran through me as I pulled my foreskin back, exposing my sensitive head and rubbed my thumb over it. With my other hand I started playing with my nipple ring, light caresses followed by me tugging it as hard as I dared. Each time I did there was a shot of electricity that went from my nipple straight down to my balls.

Writhing in my solo passion, my thoughts went from Adam to Andy, then to Tom. Remembering my times last year with Andy, imagining what it would be like to be with Tom, then with all three of them together. How hot would that be?

It was probably the thought of a foursome that sent me over the edge and my cock squirting its juice, then I spiralled into an exhausted sleep.

***

It was just before eleven when Adam rang the doorbell. As I let him in I couldn't help notice that he looked a bit distressed.

"You okay mate?" I asked.

"If there was a place called Okay, I would be the furthest point from it right now." He replied.

We went into the house and he crashed down on the sofa and pulled a cushion up to his chest. I went into the kitchen and fished out a couple of beers from the fridge, offered him one and sat down next to him.

"So what's up?"

"Life mate, life is up. And fucked."

He turned away from me; it sounded like he was sniffing. Was he crying? I put my hand on his shoulder and gently rubbed it saying that it was all right and it would be okay. He turned back, his eyes looked red and puffy.

"So what's up? Did you and Paula have another fight?" I asked.

"Yeah, the fight to end all fights. We split up man."

"Shit. I'm sorry."

"That's not the worst of it. She thinks she's pregnant."

"WHAT!" I exclaimed. "Seriously? Oh my god! Shit!"

"That's pretty much what I said. It wasn't what she wanted to hear and we got into a big fight. It's my fault; it's my fault Jamie. I thought that she was on the pill."

"So you didn't wear anything."

"I can't stand condoms."

I looked at Adam as if to say `You idiot!'

"I know, I know." He replied to my frown. "But it was okay, because she was on the pill. Scatty cow kept on forgetting to take it and now she thinks she's up the duff."

We talked and drank for the rest of the night, talking round and round in circles about Adam's situation. As much as I felt sorry for him, and I did, I couldn't help feel happy that it was me who he chose to share his pain with. I know that sounds bad, but I can't think of a better way to describe what I felt. You have to remember that by this point in the night I was very drunk, almost as drunk as Adam. Weak defence I know, but it's the only defence I have for feeling happy that Adam and Paula had split up.

Earlier in the night, before we were really drunk Adam called his parents to let them know that there had been a change of plan and that for tonight he would stay over at mine. His parents were cool about it and that left us free to get totally pissed without worrying about turning up at his home ratfaced.

Now it came to the time when we were both thinking about bed. I had offered Adam my room, saying that I would stay in one of my housemate's beds. But now Adam who was a lot more drunk that I was could barely stand up, let alone make his way upstairs unaided.

I finally got Adam upstairs and lying on top of my bed. I helped him strip down to his red silk boxer shorts, much laughing from both of us as I did.

Once he was lying down on my bed I stripped down to my briefs, dimmed the bedroom light.

"Do you still want that massage?" I asked and hoping that he would I went into my bathroom to find some lotion.

Earlier in the evening I started massaging his shoulders while sitting on the sofa in the living room. He was so tense and uptight about the night's earlier events and I just wanted to help him unwind. At the time I asked him if he wanted a proper massage to help him relax. We kind of got talking about how football clubs employed physiotherapists to administer massages to help the players relax or recover from minor injuries.

"Humm!" He replied turning over onto his front closing his eyes. I got up on the bed and knelt down over him then squirted some of the lotion onto his back. He sighed with pleasure as I began to work my fingers across his back, kneading the muscles softly. I slowly worked my way down to his lower back, causing him to moan and sigh with pleasure as I worked. "Where did you learn to do that?" he whispered softly after a few minutes.

"Donno, just making it up as I'm going." I replied.

"You're doing good." He said very softly.

I continued rubbing up at his shoulders, gentle motions on his warm skin. He just carried on murmuring his appreciation as I continued.

I gradually worked my way down, by now he was completely relaxed. When I got to his silk encased buns I decided to take a risk and find out how relaxed he really was. I slipped a hand just under the waistband lightly stroking his butt. Again he murmured

"Humm."

Was I on to a winner here?

I moved slightly so I could take hold of his shorts properly and edge them down. I got him to lift himself up enough so that I could. I spent quite a while massaging his naked hard globes until I grew bold enough to rub a couple of fingers inside his crack. He moved slightly and I stopped, fearing that I'd gone to far. But he only seemed to want to move his arm down to his side.

As he did he accidentally brushed it by my hard on that was trying to burst out of my pants. Even in his relaxed drunken state he must have known what he'd just felt. Busted. I pulled back, worried that he may freak out or something. But he didn't. Well, not really.

I was just about to resume his massage when he turned round slightly and looked up at me and said.

"I'm about done for Jamie, think I'll get some sleep now."

"You sure?" I asked. "I don't mind carrying on for a bit. Turn over if you want and I'll do your front." As soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to take them back. Talk about pushing the boat out too far.

"Nah, it's okay, really. Thanks, that was great." He smiled.

Disappointed, but relieved that he didn't freak, I climbed over him and off of the bed. "Well, good night then."

"Night, and thanks Jamie, you're a real friend. I mean that."

He turned right round to find the corner of the duvet to pull over himself and just as he did I noticed even in the dimmed light that his boxer shorts were tenting out and had a slight damp patch on them.

Smiling to myself I headed out the door, turning the light off fully and headed for Tom and Andy's room to relieve myself for the second time that night with thoughts of Adam running round my mind.

To be continued.