Changing Tom's Underwear Part 6

Oh and all that disclaimer and copyright stuff kind of applies. But hey, who am I to judge? If you feel for whatever reason you shouldn't be reading this, then that's for you to deal with. That said and done. Enjoy. Take care, Drew.

I had the strangest dream. I was laying in the hospital bed with all wires and tubes. I have no idea what was wrong with me, I knew it must be bad because in between their grim faces and clip charts the doctors kept on saying things like the next 24 hours will tell. Let's hope for the best. When a doctor has to admit that hope is all he can prescribe, you just know that the NHS is not going to fund it.

Okay, so here's where things get a bit strange. I heard a voice, or was it voices? I looked up and I saw in the corner of the room a light coming from near the ceiling. I felt myself get up and walk over to it, but now I didn't have any of the medical equipment attached to me. I followed the light; it started to move further away. It was like I was walking through a tunnel of colours, all swirling around me, the light still beckoning me towards it. It got bigger and bigger, still calling out for me to cross over in to it. Suddenly I got the feeling that I should turn round, so I looked back over my shoulder and in the distance I could see the hospital room, I saw someone laying on the bed and loads of people running around. Someone was being shown out of the room, he didn't much seem like he wanted to go, it was Tom. I looked harder and saw that the person lying on the bed was me. Again the light beckoned, but this time I couldn't follow it. I headed back in the opposite direction of the light. I had to get back; I had to see Tom. Then darkness, black, nothing.

I woke up with a start and looked all around me. There was no one, just an empty room, besides me in a bed. My initial reaction was to pull all those tubes out of me. There were none, only a wire leading from a machine hooked to a disk that was stuck to my chest. I looked at my arms and there was a good sign that there was something there, a plaster covered an incision. I called out a couple of times, but nothing, no one heard. Then I found the button to call the duty nurse.

I didn't have to wait long for attention; it seemed like as soon as I pressed the button someone was in the room. I asked the woman what was up; she smiled and said that she'd call the doctor to answer any questions. She started filling out a clip chart on the end of my bed and then took my temperature. She smiled again and the left saying that the doctor would be along shortly.

Great, so I had no idea what I was doing in hospital or what was wrong with me. I thought back to the last thing I remembered. It was Tom calling my name. He seemed to have a worried tone to the sound of his voice. Then I remembered the car, driving down the road, fast. I lost control and now I'm here. I fell asleep again.

It wasn't till later that evening that I found out what had happened. I was brought it three days before and have been unconscious more or less ever since. I'd missed Christmas, but on the plus side nothing was broken. The doctors were concerned that I may have taken a bit of a heavy knock to the head when I crashed, so they were keeping me in for observation. The being unconscious bit was mainly from the medication and painkillers. I was bruised, shaken but not stirred. Turns out that I was lucky, apparently the car that I borrowed was a soft-top, had I spun it over I might not be here today. Luck? Had nothing to do with it. Just my superior driving skills. Yeah, all right. I'm saying it and I don't even believe it either.

The next morning I awoke, feeling much better than the night before. I didn't feel so groggy or light-headed. But the best thing was that I had a visitor waiting for me to awake. I wondered if anyone had been along, since I was far from home. I hopped that my parents weren't there, they'd be too many questions that I'd have to answer if they were. I was good to see Jamie, that was the first thing I said to him.

"I didn't know that you were up, but I thought I'd come along any how. I'm glad I did. I bought you some grapes. That's what you're supposed to do when people are in hospital, isn't it? Bring grapes? I wonder if there's something special in them that makes people better or something? You know you gave us a fright. When Tom and his dad came back from the hospital, they said that it was touch and go. Wow. Like you crashed that bloke's car. Stuck up git. Serves him right if you ask me. I mean it's not as if he can't afford to buy another car like that. I could save for a hundred years and still not afford a BMW. So how do you feel? Like have you broken bones and stuff?"

"Jamie, Jamie, I'm too tired for one hundred and one questions."

Jamie looked down at the floor and muttered that he was sorry.

"Why are you nervous?"

"What makes you think I'm nervous?"

"Just a guess. What's up?"

"Nothing, well not nothing. Something. I think Tom's mad at you or something."

"What, about the car?"

"No, at least I don't think so. I think he's mad at us. I came along to the hospital yesterday, before you woke up. Tom was here by your bedside. As soon as I got through the door he told me to fuck off, that I shouldn't be here. I've never seen him like that before. I think he was jealous of me or something. That's how it felt anyway. At first when he caught us together I thought he was mad at us because of us being gay. But I've been thinking and I reckon that he was jealous."

"Jamie, there's nothing going on with Tom and I to make him jealous."

"Yeah, but I think that he might be thinking otherwise. I've never seen him react that way about anything. I've known Tom all my life Andy and I've never seen him as mad as that."

"I don't see that. I mean, I like Tom probably love him, but he's never given me any more than friendship. We don't have that sort of relationship."

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know, yes, I suppose. But wanting for something doesn't make it so."

"But if he did want the same thing would you go for it?"

"Jamie, what's the point in this? It's not going to happen and I accept that. There's nothing more I can do."

"You're wrong. You could tell him how you feel. I can't be too hard. What's the worst thing that could happen?"

"I could loose his friendship."

"Andy, I've not known you long and you can tell me to shut up because I'm a kid and don't know nothing about nothing, but I think you should take the risk. That's how we met. We both took a risk. Okay so it was different, you didn't think we'd meet again and I was stupid enough to think what the hell. I could have been too scared to risk going off with a total stranger, but if I bottled it I wouldn't be sitting here now. You don't know it but you taught me to take a risk, you helped change my life. Maybe I should teach you the same thing. Maybe I should tell Tom the same thing. I could be like a matchmaker or something, get you guys together."

"Don't you dare. If there's anything to sort out between Tom and I, I'll do the sorting. Leave it."

"I'm sorry," He said getting up of his chair "I didn't quite hear that. Oh look at the time. I must get off, I'm supposed to be meeting mum back at the big house. I wonder if Tom will be there?"

"JAMIE!"

Too late he was gone. I didn't even get to really think about what he'd said. Because just as Jamie left and I thought things couldn't get worse, my parents arrived.

"Mum, dad? What are you doing here?"

"The boy's in hospital and he asks what we're doing here." Said my father to anyone in earshot, which happened to be my mother and I.

"John!" My mother sounded quite angry at him. "Don't start."

"Dragged up to the middle of no where just after Christmas, to see my son in hospital. What have you to say for yourself?"

"Sorry."

"That doesn't even begin to cover it. Me and your mother, sitting at home watching the Christmas repeat of Only fools and horses and we get a phone call from some bloke with a plum stuck in his mouth telling us that you've had a car crash. Of course we have to drop everything and come up here, only to find out that the car that crashed is one that you tried to nick. So like I said, what have you got to say for yourself."

"I don't know, sorry. What else do you want me to say?"

"See, look at his attitude. All this wouldn't have happened if you didn't go swanning off to places where you don't belong."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know damn well that I didn't want you to go to this friend of yours up here for Christmas. It's like what? Don't I have a say anymore in how you run your life? Just because you're all grown up of something. Don't think your old enough to know everything. I'll knock that out of you so help me I will."

"John, please, leave the boy alone. We've not come all this way to shout at him have we?"

"Well he just makes me mad, thinks he knows it all now that he's in university."

I was starting to get angry. I knew my dad would go off on one. He always does. It seems that whatever I do isn't good enough to him. My mum's different; she's always encouraged me to follow my heart. I often wonder what she sees in him. He's like this bloke stuck in a world that doesn't exist anymore.

"Off to university, but not to study something for a proper career, not something useful, No my son takes a poofy acting class. Poofy acting at a poofy university. Waste of bloody time."

"John, if you can't say anything constructive, then why don't you wait outside."

"S'all right mum. Dad, I'm taking a poofy drama course in your words, because in your words I'm a poof. Okay.

I hadn't planned to come out to my parents. Well not exactly. Of course I have been thinking about telling them for ages, but I wanted to pick my moment. I guess that I got so angry with his put downs I had enough. Thinking about it afterwards, I couldn't have picked a better place to come out to him, a hospital. By the colour of his face I thought he was going to have a stroke. At least if he did they wouldn't have had to take him far. Before my dad could say anything, my mother stepped in and ordered him outside. He left, slamming the door behind him.

"Sorry mum, I didn't want to tell you this way. But it is true."

"I know sweetheart"

I looked at my mother with totally shock.

"Don't be surprised, I've known for ages, probably even before you really did. Call it mothers intuition."

"And you're not mad?"

"How could I be? You're my son; I'll love you no matter what. It doesn't bother me who you find attractive, just as long as you're happy. What more could a mother ask for?"

"A better husband?"

"Don't be too hard on your father. He's not exactly been open minded about anything in his life. He forgets that we grew up in the sixties. I knew a lot of gay people when I was your age. Back then it didn't seem to be an issue. Well not to the people I knew. Your father on the other hand had a different sixties, he spent most of his time trying to incite a revolution. That's how we met. We were at a `Stop the war' demo. I was marching with the hippies; he was marching with the communists. We met at the free concert afterwards. I was there for the music, he was there for Lenin."

"You never told me this."

"I never told you many things. But like I said don't be too hard on your father. I think he sometimes forgets that he was young once. Look I'll go out and talk to him. You just concentrate on getting better. We've been staying at the MacKays. They're lovely people, no matter what your father might say. You should have heard him after he found out that your friend Tom was the son of a Tory minister."

"I'll bet he thought it was on purpose. Like I'd make a friend just to piss him off."

"Something like that. Now like I said, don't worry about your father. Andy, tell me that I'm a prying mother if you want, but can I ask you, is Tom your boyfriend?"

"No mum, he's not and yes you're prying." I think there was a touch of melancholy to the sound of my voice.

"I'm a mother, it's my duty. He's a nice boy, you could do worse and I suspect that he could do a lot worse than you.

"Thanks mum, but with Tom it's complicated."

"When is love not complicated?"

"I guess."

"Well I'll be off and we'll be back later. Love you!"

"Love you too mum."

She kissed me goodbye and left. I guess my father had gone further away than just waiting outside, as I didn't hear any shouting. I lay back in bed and closed my eyes. I'd just come out to my parents. Now is that a dear diary moment or what? Truth is that I really didn't care what my dad thought, but I was glad that my mother was cool. I got to wonder how she knew? I mean I don't exactly go around limped wristed or lisp my words. Stereotypes are fucked if you ask me. I guess it must have been just as she said, mothers intuition. I've always been close to her, and I've got a lot to thank her for. If it weren't for her my father would have called me Leon Trotsky or something like that. Fortunately I was only saddled with Leon as a middle name. Oh the power of compromise.

I guess I'm never going to get my dad to understand me. He'll never know how much acting means to me. To him it's in his words poofy. We really live in different worlds. His greatest achievement that he'll still crow about more than twenty years later is the time as shop steward he nearly brought his company down to its knees by staging a six week long strike over wages. This was long before I was born so I never got to see his moment of glory. I could never see the sense. Maybe it's because I grew up in a different age or something, but how is it a good thing to nearly close the company down that you're working for. Surely being out of work because of a socialist principle never put bread on the table. I was never one for politics. The subject bored me stupid. With that thought I promptly fell asleep.

It must have been an hour or two till I opened my eyes again. I heard the door open, another visitor. And not one that I was happy to see.

"Alex."

He crossed the room and sat down by my bed. Picked up the bag of grapes that Jamie left and pulled a few off their stalks.

"You don't mind, do you?"

I shook my head.

"I'll come straight to the point. I'm down a car and it's your entire fault. Now what are we going to do about this troublesome situation?"

I shrugged. I was about to apologise…

"I'll tell you what, here's an idea. How about you get better, get out of here and get out of our lives."

"What?"

"It's quite simple. You've hurt Tom, Tom's my best friend and I don't like seeing him hurt. He's hurt because it seems and lord only knows why, that he thinks he's fallen in love with you. Now I don't know what game you might be playing, but screwing the serving boy sure didn't do you any good. On the other hand it did a lot for me. I think Tom's remembering who his friend is and I don't want him being hurt by you again. So here's what's going to happen, I'll not press charges for the theft of my car and the subsequent wrecking of said car and you walk free and out of our lives. Don't give me an answer now. Just go. Okay?"

He got up and plonked the bag of grapes on to my lap.

"Nice grapes. Who's your supplier? Never mind."

And he left. I started to think that if my day got any worse I would have been better off unconscious. I thought about what Alex had said, not his threat, but the bit about Tom in love with me. First Jamie mentions something like that, I just put it down to Jamie being, well Jamie. I've known him for a couple of days and I have to say that I've really taken to him. He's got a good heart. Alex on the other hand, the only agenda this guy seems to have is for him and Tom. I'm a mere complication. So he must know something, to say that Tom's got feelings for me. Or maybe had feelings for me, I mean, him walking in on Jamie and me probably wasn't the best thing in the world for him.

I suddenly realised that I could be thinking myself round in circles like this, the only way I'd know anything for sure was to speak with Tom, but would he come, now he knows I'm awake? Would he say something that I'd want to hear? Circles again.

The rest of the day was filled with doctors and nurses checking up on me. The best news of all was that I was going to be released the following day. At least I'd be home for New Years eve.

I had an early evening meal and then fell asleep again. When I awoke Tom was sitting by my bedside.

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit groggy, but not so bad. They're letting me out tomorrow, so I guess I must be fine"

"That's good"

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"Not long. I didn't want to wake you. In fact I'm not sure what I want to say, that's why I was content to sit here, trying to get my thoughts together."

"Anything you feel like sharing?"

"I don't know. It's hard, I mean I'm not really good at this. Maybe I should start at the beginning and say that I'm sorry about the last night at uni. I was in head fuck territory and didn't know what to do with myself. That's why I left early, I just couldn't face seeing you that morning."

"Why, what had I done that was so wrong?"

"Nothing, it wasn't you it was me. Something someone said got me thinking about things that I didn't really want to be thinking about."

"Do you mind me asking what about?"

"No, I guess after that night when we, well I started, well you know."

I nodded.

"I said that it was a mistake. I lied, but I didn't know it. All I thought about at the time was me and how it wasn't what I wanted to be or that I wasn't gay and all that."

"And now?"

"And now? I'm just as confused. I asked you up to Scotland because I missed you. In the time we were apart I did a hell of a lot of thinking and I'm in a scary place. I've been confronting feelings that I'm not even sure how to deal with. It's like I want to tell you something, but I don't know how you're going to react. I feel like I'm standing at the mouth of a cavern and once I go over the edge I don't know where I'll land, if at all."

"Maybe you should take a leap and tell me what you're thinking."

"Okay, Gerronimo. I guess that you don't know what you've got till you're faced with the prospect of loosing it. I felt that when I got home from uni. I thought if I didn't go back I'd never see you again, I just couldn't deal with that thought. Then the other night when I saw you slumped at the wheel of Alex's car, I thought what would I do if I lost you. Then this afternoon, when Jamie came up to see me, he said some stuff that just made sense." He paused and took a deep breath. "I know now that I think I love you Andy."

Even though I'd heard the words I didn't really comprehend what they were. Did he really say that he thought he loved me?

"Well say something. Anything."

"Erm, sorry run that by me again. Did I hear you say that you loved me?"

"Andy, I'm serious. I think I love you. It's been so hard for me to see it until recently and even now I'm not sure if I really know what it means or what I want from you in return. I said to you the day after our romp that I had a lot to sort out and it's only been recently that I've really begun to do so. Thing is that you've never led me to think that you want anything other than friendship from me. So here I am, telling a guy that I think I love him and I really don't know where it will land. I just want to know what you think, even if it's to say that you don't share the same feelings."

My turn to take a deep breath. "Tom, I love you. From virtually the first day we met I fancied you, over time and as our friendship grew that feeling turned into love. I've never been there before. Sure I've been with a few guys, maybe more than a few, but they've never really meant anything much more than a shag to me. Suddenly I'm confronted with someone who I fell in love with, but knew that he wouldn't or couldn't respond in that way, telling me that he's got feelings for me. How do you think I'm going to respond?"

Sometimes words don't quite do the trick to they. I think Tom realised that before I did. Cautiously he leaned over and placed a kiss on my lips. I returned the kiss, and then we broke apart.

"Well that wasn't too bad." He announced.

"What were you expecting? A whole bunch of people to spring out of the cupboard singing show tunes or something?"

"Well I thought fireworks would have fitted the occasion."

We laughed. The first time we laughed together in what seemed like ages.

"Well that's it then."

"What?"

"I've jumped, no way back now. Not that I'd want to"

"You don't know how much that means to me to hear you say that."

"Or me you that."

"Tom, before we go on. Maybe I should explain about Jamie and that night."

"You don't have to. What you do is up to you. I don't have the right to think otherwise."

"Yes you do and you deserve better than me."

"Who could be better than you? Look, I was jealous when I saw you and Jamie together that night. I felt really hurt. But it was that hurt that finally helped me realise what I really wanted and that was you. I had no right to be jealous, as I'd never told you how I felt about you. Now…"

"And now, we should clear the air if we're to go on. And believe me, I want nothing more than to go on."

"That's what I want too. Just one step at a time eh?"

"One step at a time. I love you Tom."

"I love you too"

We kissed again, this time there was a real passion between us. Does life get this good? I wondered to myself. When we broke apart Tom looked at his watch and said that he should go before his folks sent out the search party. I asked him how his folks were. He told me that they popped in a couple of days ago to see me before I woke up.

"You should have seen dad when he saw you in the ward. He went straight to the administration and had you changed to a private room. I don't think he much approves of standard NHS care. Don't worry, he said he'll pick up the tab."

"Wow that's great. But I don't want to be any trouble."

"How could you think that? No I think it's more like principle with him. You were a guest in his house; he doesn't do NHS and doesn't see why anyone else should. Typical Tory."

"I bet him and my dad are getting on well. Not. By the way thanks for putting my folks up."

"Not at all. When my mum told me to phone your folks to let them know about the accident, she said for me to invite them to stay at the house. Let me tell you, our fathers have got on like a house on fire."

"What!" I exclaimed in total disbelief.

"No really. I think Dad's quite taken with your dad. I over heard him say to mum that he'd just had the best argument since he left Parliament. It's quite funny to hear them go at each other. Not agreeing about anything and arguing their case to each other till the cows come home."

"Yeah hilarious."

"No really. Anyway, I should be off. I'll be back tomorrow morning to pick you up after you're discharged. Then we can get on with the rest of our lives."

"One problem."

"What? Only one?"

I told Tom about Alex's visit and what he said.

"You leave Alex to me. Unfinished business and all that. Don't worry about him, he'll be all right. He just thinks he's looking out for me. When in reality he's only thinking about himself. I'll tell you all about it, but not tonight. I know it's hard, especially after what he said to you but don't think too badly of him. He really is a good friend of mine."

"That's as may be but I'm not so sure that he'll be all right."

"Do you trust me?"

I didn't have to think for even a second to answer that "Yes of course"

"Well then trust me that Alex will be okay and wont be pressing any charges."

And with that we kissed one more time and Tom was gone. I think if I wasn't so tired I would have spent the rest of the night pinching myself. Did Tom really tell me that he loved me? I think he did. No make that I know he did. I must have gone to sleep with the biggest smile on my face.

The next day, New Years eve, Tom came by with a change of clothes for me. Apparently they had to cut mine open so as not to cause any possible further injury. All I had that remained intact was the thong that I had been wearing. Fortunately they didn't see the need to slice that up. I wonder what they thought when they got down to my underpants? My mother, when in typical mother mode when I was younger used to say things like `Always make sure that you've got a clean pair of pants on, just in case you get run over'. I always thought that what she meant was that if you had a clean pair on, you'd not get run over. Never could quite figure that one out.

*******

I was discharged from hospital. I was told that I should get my GP to arrange a scan in a couple of months, just to make sure that every thing was still okay. As far as they were concerned I suffered no permanent damage and I was a very lucky guy.

I knew I was a very lucky guy, but it had nothing to do with being well. It was all down to this bloke that I met that had driven me back to his home. As soon as we got in the car we kissed, not caring if anyone was watching. The drive down to Tom's house didn't take too long, even though there was still a lot of snow on the ground. Tom managed the slippery roads like a professional driver.

Back at the house I was almost overwhelmed by the attention from Tom's parents and my mother. Dad on the other hand just seemed to stay in the background. We had lunch, and Tom's folks mentioned about a Hogmanay do that they were going to that evening. They had already invited my parents along and wanted to know if I felt up to it. I thanked them but said that I didn't really feel that I was. Fortunately Tom had briefed me on that one in the car. He chirped up with that he would stay home with me to keep me company. My mother piped in that it was okay and that she should stay and Tom should go out and enjoy himself. Tom was quite firm about staying, so it was decided.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in the library watching a film. At eight o'clock everyone left and Tom and I had the house to ourselves. We remained in the library and Tom fixed us a couple of drinks and joined me on the sofa.

Tom offered up a toast "Cheers to a New Year and to us."

We clinked our glasses and drank. Then we just sat there; the silence was almost deafening. A couple of times I looked over to Tom and could see that something was on his mind. He just stared in to the fire, and I couldn't help but notice that there was a worried look on his brow. I put my hand on his shoulder and broke the silence by asking what was up.

"I don't know. Just things I guess."

"Anything I can help with?"

He adjusted himself to lay back into my arms, still staring at the fire. I moved my hand round and caressed his face with light strokes. Again silence except for the occasional `Humm' sound from him.

It must have been a further ten minutes till Tom Spoke. "Andy, I know this might sound really stupid, I know it does to me. Thing is that I'm as nervous as all hell. I mean it's not as if I've never had sex with someone before, so I have no idea where that's coming from. It's just that I'm laying here in your arms, wondering what the hell to do next. This feels all new to me. Does that make any sense?"

I lowered myself slightly so that my mouth was about level with his ear and whispered "What makes you think that we're going to have sex anytime soon?"

He took a breath and then said, "Well, I was figuring that since we had the place to ourselves it wouldn't be such a bad idea. Oh and the feel of your hard on poking into my back was giving me a clue as well"

"Hey, you can't blame a guy for having good circulation."

That seemed to break the tension somewhat. Tom twisted round so he was lying on top of me. I sank down into the sofa with his full weight pressing on me. He felt so good, and through his jeans I could feel his hardness pressing into me. "I think this is as good a time as any. Don't you?" With that we kissed. "But Tom, you know that we don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with."

"Would you shut up and kiss me."

How many hints does a guy need? We kissed again, this time no holds barred. We rolled off the sofa onto the floor, this time with me on top. I moved my hand down and started to undo the buttons to Tom's jeans. When suddenly he froze.

"Andy, I'm sorry. I'm not as comfortable with this as I thought I'd be. I just can't do this."

I immediately got up. Tom also got up off the floor. I said that I was sorry and that maybe we should take things slower.

"No, I meant that I wasn't very comfortable on the floor and that we should move. Got ya!"

"Bastard"

"I know, how about we ditch the library and head off to my room? The parents wont be back for some time but I'd feel a bit better being someplace where we wouldn't be disturbed."

"Sounds good to me. Oh and for the record, don't do that again. You frightened the life out of me."

Tom threw me one of his wicked grins. I started to get the feeling that I was paying too much attention to being careful with him. He grabbed a bottle from the drinks cabinet and then I followed him off to his room. I doubt we could have got there quicker if we'd tried. Climbing the grand staircase two steps at a time, running along the hallway until we reached his room.

As soon as we were inside and closed the door we were all over each other. It wasn't long before we had taken each other's tops off and were standing facing each other bare chested. I leaned in and started licking his nipples. As I lowered myself I kissed my way down until I reached the top of his jeans. I carefully undid the buttons and pulled them down, Tom stepped out of them. I leaned back for a moment to take in the sight. His lean body, much more defined then when we first met, the time at the gym was definitely paying off for us both. He had a slight amount of dark hair on his chest, that ran down to his navel then on towards his boxer shorts. I looked up to him and put on a mock scowl. "Haven't we spoken about these?" Pointing at his blue and white stripped cotton boxers.

"It's not the packaging that counts Andy, it's what's inside."

He had a point and I for one wasn't going to continue to argue. Not when I was only inches away from his dick, which was tenting out his shorts quite nicely. I took hold of the waistband and gently lowered them to the ground. As I got his shorts off over his dick it sprung back up to lightly slap me in the face, leaving a small drop of pre-cum on my cheek. As he stepped out of his shorts his dick bobbed up and down, finally coming to a rest when I took it in my hand. There's only one place for this I thought to myself and promptly put my lips round his bulbous head. My tongue licking lightly round where the shaft meets the head. I could tell that he liked that. Teasing him slightly I started to swallow more of his cock till my nose was resting in his patch of pubic hair. Tom placed his hands round the back of my head stroking my hair while gently moving my head back and forth. It wasn't long before we found the perfect rhythm, moving in sync.

He took one of his hands off my head and reached over to the dressing table. I didn't pay much attention right then as I had something a bit more pressing to deal with. I could feel him tense up and at the point of climax I heard a loud pop. I felt his warm liquid shoot down my throat and at the same time some cold liquid spraying down on my face. I looked up and he was holding the bottle of champagne that he took up with us. I let his softening cock fall from my mouth.

"I thought I was the one with the flare for the dramatic."

He nodded in the direction of his mantle piece and the clock on it that said that it was just gone midnight.

"Happy New Year." He said taking a mouthful of the champagne and then handing me the bottle.

"You know what this means?" I asked after taking a swig. "I've had your dick in my mouth for two years!"

"Sounds good to me" he replied.

I got up off my knees and set the bottle back down. We kissed again and I felt his hands fumble around on the buttons of my jeans. Quickly discarded, I stood there in just my see-thru black nylon bikini briefs. The pouch straining to keep me in. As we continued to kiss I felt Tom's hands caress my nylon covered cheeks. "Humm! Lovely" He muttered. I agreed with the sentiment. He slipped his hands over the top and down back on to my butt. He made gentle circular movements with his hands on my bare flesh.

He gently eased my briefs down and leaving one hand on my arse, with the other he took hold of my dick. His movements were slow and tender. I thought he was going to carry on wanking me off but then he got down on his knees and before I knew it he had my dick in his mouth.

"Hey, watch the teeth."

"Mufhhemm"

"Yeah, s'what I thought. Take it easy Tom. That's better."

It really was. And it wasn't much longer till I blew my load. Tom got back up off he knees and we embraced. Love and lust at the same time, that was all that was going through my mind. I'd never experienced that before, not really. I guess this was a new beginning for both of us.

*******

I woke up in the morning and was a bit bleary eyed. It took me a few moments to realise that I was still in Tom's room. I turned round in the bed to face him, but it was empty. I started to get out of the bed when I noticed a note on his pillow.

Andy, We've got to talk.

Tom

I lost count of the amount of thoughts that went through my mind right then. I then heard the sound of a shower coming from the bathroom. I got out of bed to take a look. I stood in the doorway just looking at Tom washing himself. He looked up and saw me and smiled.

"So you got my note then?"

"Yeah. So what do we have to talk about then?"

"Why don't you come over here and find out?"

So I did. I got into the shower and Tom turned round to face me. The next thing I knew his lips met mine. Not very long after that we were both hard

"Well this kind of talking I could get used to." I said

"Yeah, me too."

Tom picked up the bottle of shower gel and started to lather me up. He grabbed the bottle again and squirted some more on his hand and reached behind me. I felt his fingers at my hole; tentatively he eased on in. I felt the gel slightly sting my insides. Not that I cared one jot.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm sure."

He removed his finger and I turned round. Again he eased his finger up me and then another. I could have cum there and then. His touch was so good. Again he removed his fingers and the next thing I knew his hardness was starting to ease its way in. In and out, at first nervously, gradually becoming surer. He quickened the pace. The water was still showering down on us, drowning out the noise that we were making. It was just as well because as Tom shot his load in me he almost screamed the place down. A few strokes of his hand on my dick and I followed not long after.

We washed ourselves down then got out to dry off. We went back into his bedroom and he said that he had something for me.

"I think you've just given me everything that I've ever wanted." I replied.

"Why thank you. But this is something that I wanted to give you on Christmas day, but as you were spark out in hospital, I'll give you the belated present."

He handed me a small package wrapped up in festive paper. Carefully I undid the tape and looked inside. A looked back at Tom and gave him a huge beaming smile. I pulled out a bright red silk thong.

"Aw man, you shouldn't have."

"Just thought you'd like it."

"You know what I'd like even more?"

He shrugged.

"I'd like it if you'd wear it."

"Way ahead of you pal"

He went back over to his dresser, opened a draw and pulled out an identical thong and slipped it on.

Once dressed we went down for breakfast. The parents were there to greet us. All hung over from the last nights festivities. My mother fussed over me, making sure that I was all right, while my father sat and read the paper, occasionally glancing up. Tom's parents were talking about taking us all out for a drive, show us all a bit of the Scottish countryside before my parents and I left for home the next day. Tom thought that was a great idea then said that he and I had plans for the day, but that they should take my folks out. I looked over to him, unaware that we had plans.

So an hour later the parents were on their way and Tom suggested that we went for a walk.

"Walk? Are you mad? Have you seen how cold it is out there?"

"Bloody southern poofters. No balls that's your problem. Put a bloody jacket on, there's something that I want to show you."

I didn't argue. We wrapped up and headed for the cold outside. Fortunately there wasn't a wind blowing, in fact the sun was trying to break through. It was one of those nice crisp winter afternoons, the type though that is better viewed from a window in my opinion.

We went in the direction of a forest, walking fairly quickly chatting all the way, we were near the woods in no time.

"This isn't it? Is it?" I asked fearful that it was and I'd been dragged from a nice warm house to see a few trees.

"No it's just beyond that."

We started walking through the woods when Tom said, "Close your eyes"

"Okay so now I know you've lost your marbles. I'm not going to walk through this with my eyes closed."

"Don't you ever stop moaning?"

"Sure, show me what you want to show me then get me back in the warm, I'll soon stop moaning."

"What I want to show you will look better if you happen upon it. That's why I want you to close your eyes. You trust me don't you?"

"Of course I do." I replied without hesitation.

"Right, well have you ever played that trust game? You know the one where you have someone blindfolded, then someone leads that person around?"

"Of course, we do that exercise in drama class all the time."

"Well, I ask again. Do you trust me?"

I closed my eyes. Tom took hold of my hand and from behind me guided me around by movements to my shoulder by his other hand. Occasionally he got me to stop and he let go of me and I heard him move a tree branch out of the way, then he'd take back hold of me. The final time he let go of me he told me to open my eyes.

Before me up on a hill was a ruin of a castle. I looked over to Tom.

"It's my favourite place on the estate. I used to play here all the time when I was back from school in the holidays. Follow me, the view is fantastic from up there."

We started to climb the hill. Tom was right the view was great. When we reached the top we climbed one of the walls and looked all around us. Tom pointed out the extent of his parents estate and some nearby towns and in the distance some hills. That was all well and good, but going through my mind was the ghost scene from Hamlet. I don't know exactly why, I just started to really get into the surroundings. Tom sat down, as I became both Hamlet and the ghost of his father. Word for word, the lines just filled my head.

When I finished Tom applauded and I graciously took a bow, then went over to give him a kiss. We walked around the ruins for a time, then laid down on the hill, arms around each other. I looked over at him, staring up at the sky, he looked so contented. I felt so contented. I looked away from him and took in the sights around me. There really was a magnificent view of Tom's parent's house. It occurred to me that although I knew something of Tom's background, I didn't really know too much about all of this, his parents house, the castle or very much at all come to think of it. I asked him how long this place had been in his family.

"They started out here, sometime in the 1400's. The house over there was built in the 1600's."

"So, like what? Is your dad a lord?"

"No, not exactly. He doesn't have any title other than the knighthood that he got a couple of years ago. My uncle, his brother is the actual owner of all this. My father was the younger son. Thing is that before my grandfather died, my uncle emigrated to Australia, something of a family argument. I don't know what about as dad won't talk about it. The title, the house and the land really belong to my uncle"

"So why doesn't he come back, now it's all his?"

"I think he's happy with his life down under. I asked mum one day and she replied that she doubted that Uncle Stephen could stomach the cold after spending a lifetime on the beaches of Sydney. Besides he doesn't have to. He gets a percentage of the income that the estate generates. He was happy to let dad take over the running, important to keep it in the family and all that. Besides, when he dies the title and lands will pass to Luke."

I looked blankly at him.

"My oldest brother. Uncle Stephen never got married so doesn't have an heir. You know, I've never really thought about it till now, I wonder if Uncle Stephen is gay?"

"Could be. I hear Sydney is very popular with the gay crowds."

"Maybe that's why he left. I wish I could find out, but like I said no one will talk about it. I've never met the guy, he left long before I was born."

"So what do you think your folks will do if they find out about us?"

"Too be honest I haven't given it much thought. It's all happened so fast that I've got so much to get my brain round, I can't even think about my parents right now."

"Maybe they'll send you packing to Australia."

"If they do, would you come with me?"

"You bet, have you seen those life guards they've got over there? I'm talking hot."

"You shit," he said giving me a thump on my arm. I thumped him back and the next thing were ended up wrestling. After rolling around Tom managed to pin me down. "Now say that I don't care about Aussie life guards, because I've got the hottest guy around"

"You don't care about Aussie lifeguards, because you've got the hottest boyfriend around."

"Must it come to this. I can see the headline now. English actor found murdered in Scottish castle. It was a mercy killing, locals exclaimed."

Tom made a hands in strangle gesture at me, I just blew him a kiss in defiance. He rolled off me and said, "You're not worth going to prison for." He turned round and we kissed.

When we broke our embrace we just laid there in silence, just watching the clouds roll past. It was ages before Tom broke the silence.

"That cloud looks like the tree at the bottom of our garden"

"That cloud looks like a blue bird" I replied

"That cloud looks like a galaxy"

"That cloud is nothing but trouble."

"This cloud looks like one of those things that, humm, go…"

"That cloud looks like one of those bright shiny things"

"That cloud looks like snow"

"No it doesn't!"

"This cloud looks like rain"

"THIS CLOUD SHOULD BE REMOVED IMEDIATELY"

"That cloud looks like industrial waste"

Then both together "Rolling over like a big cloud, walking out in the big sky."

We both laughed to the Kate Bush references. I had a couple of Kate's albums back in halls, the one that Big sky came from was one of our favourites to get stoned to.

Again silence. Just lost in thought. The beauty of the place, the amazing person with whom I was sharing this moment with.

"You know" Said Tom, once again breaking our silence. "Not that I'm ready to be doing any major coming out ceremony like you did the other day to your parents, but I don't really think I care that much if they do know. The worst they can do is to disown me. How bad could that be?"

"Bad?"

"Maybe, but if they did that then they really couldn't have loved me in the first place. I've got by without them around for most of my life, I'd be okay."

"What and give up all this?" I said gesturing with my hand to all I could see.

"I don't need it. Not really. Sure, it wouldn't be my first option, but I've got my own money, I'd get by."

I looked quizzically at him. Then I thought I might be prying so I looked away.

"I've got some money, put by for me in a trust fund by my grandparents. I'm not allowed to touch it till I leave collage, except for investments. But it's there and there's nothing they can do. If it came to it, I mean."

"Well, who knows, they might surprise you."

"Unlikely, but as you say, who knows. You know, There's something more important than all that though."

"What's that?" I asked.

"You, me, us. It's taken me so long to really get my thoughts together and just as long as I've got you as far as I'm concerned the world can go to hell. I love you Andy."

"You have no idea how good that sounds to me. I love you too."

"Do you have to go back with your parents tomorrow? Can't you stay until we go back to university?"

"I could, but I've got my stuff back at my parents place. I need to get it before we go back."

"Not a problem, we'll drive down in my car and we can make a detour."

"Pretty big detour though"

"But worth it. I just want to spend as much time as I can with you. Besides, what's a long car journey between friends?"

"Thelma and Louise?"

"How gay are you?"

"Is there a scale?"

"Bound to be."

"Then I'm a perfect ten."

"Sounds about right. Did you ever have doubts about your sexuality?"

"Once, when I watched the Wizard of Oz and found that I really didn't like that film. Don't look at me like that. For a gay guy that self revelation is almost as traumatic as thinking that you don't like Madonna. May the gods forgive me"

He rolled his eyes and tutted. After a while of more silence he asked again if I would stay until the end of the holiday.

"How can I say no?"

"You can't."

"So I wont."

By this time the short winter day was coming fast to an end. Tom stood up and offered me his hand. Hand in hand we walked back to the house.

The next day my parents went back home and the day after that Tom's parents said their goodbyes and flew off to South Africa for their winter holiday. We had the place to ourselves. This huge house, with all its rooms was totally wasted on us. We only used two. Tom's bedroom and the kitchen. We spent the rest of the week making love. Exploring each other, finding out what each of us likes and the best ways to give pleasure to each other. The main thing I learned was that I found sex with someone I love is far better than the casual flings that I'd had in the past. It doesn't even compare.

The only break we took was mid week when we went down to the local town, picked Jamie up and went off down the pub. I must admit that I was a bit worried about Jamie. In the short time that I've known him I'd become rather fond of him. I was a bit worried that he might feel a bit hurt. I don't think I needed to be too concerned though, he seemed so wrapped that Tom and I had got together. I knew that he went to see Tom when I was in hospital but I never did ask him what he said. I wonder if in some way I've got Jamie to thank for helping Tom along the way.

All too soon the last week of our break was over and we headed back south. First to London to pick my stuff up then off to university. I was looking forward to the latter, but dreading the former. The closer we got to the M25, them more my stomach tied itself in knots. Not only did I hate the thought of going back to that place; I also hated the thought that I was going to have to show Tom where I was from. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of my background. Never forget your roots, that's what they say. But when you've seen where Tom comes from, anything I've got to show pales into insignificance.

Not before long we were in deepest south London. I directed Tom to the council estate that I'd grown up on. We parked up and I undid my seat belt, telling Tom to wait here.

"Don't you want me to come up?"

"It's not that, it's just if you leave your car for more than ten seconds here they'll be nothing left of it. See those guys over there." I pointed over to a group of guys all around our age or younger, hanging around by the far side wall of the car park. "Trust me, they'll have your car before you can blink."

I forgot to mention that Tom had traded his MR2 in for a Supra just after Christmas. Nice car, even better than his old one. He must have a thing about Japanese cars.

I got out of the car and made my way over to the door of my tower block. As I did a few of the guys hanging around walked up to me.

"Nice set o wheels, white boi." Said the leader. "Where you teef it from?"

"Me teef it from you girl, she loved me banging her so much she let me `ave her mota"

"Chah, me lickle white bredder got im mout on im."

I noticed that the crowd of guys seemed to start circling around us, it looked like they might be out for a bit of trouble.

"Yeah, that's what your girl said when me went down on her."

"The only girl I's been bangin' been you modda. Mus be er dat you went down on."

"Easy now rider. You know de only woman you can get is you modda. Dat's wen she's not busy nuff making money on the streets."

The crowd got closer to us, I was sure that they were up for something. I was getting ready to make a bolt for Tom's car.

"Back off, dis between me and de white boi" he said to his followers. They complied. "Open de door, we take dis in private."

I opened the front door to my block and went inside, The bang of the door echoed through the whole building as it closed. I turned round to face whatever might happen, still walking backwards till I bumped up against the wall. I was pinned and couldn't move.

Face to face, his nostrils flaring. I looked deep into his dark eyes, they seemed to be squaring me up. Suddenly his look softened. He pulled me slightly off the wall and we hugged.

"Andy, `s good to see ya man. wahppen"

"Marcus. Man you shit me right up."

We broke our embrace. I'd known Marcus since forever. We went to school together, he was a member of Dean's boxing club and when I spotted him one night in the Vauxhall Tavern I had the shock of my life. I like to consider that I have a highly tuned gaydar, but I never picked up on Marcus.

"Gotta keep you on yer toes now that you're a learning boi, don't I? So what you doing back?"

"I've just come for me stuff then I'm back to uni."

"So who's the guy with the motor? Your boyfriend?"

"Yep." I said with a beam.

"Nice!"

"So, you seen Dean anyplace?"

"Been around. Not much, he's under the thumb with his woman. Might catch him down the gym right `bout now."

"Cheers mate. So you gonna help me carry me stuff down?"

"Easy now."

"Aw come on."

Marcus shrugged and we went over to the lift and pressed the button. It creaked its way down and opened up for us. The smell from inside hit real hard; we shrugged and made our way to the stair well.

Thankfully the extra pair of hands meant that I only had to do one journey and fortunately my parents were both out. Although I did want to see mum I could really do without a scene from my dad.

We got back to the car and loaded Tom's boot. I thanked Marcus and he told me to look after myself. We high fived and said our goodbyes and I got into the passenger side of Toms car.

"Who was that?"

"Just an old friend."

"Thought you were in trouble there."

"What? Marcus? No! He's all right. Listen, do you mind if we do a quick detour before we head off? I want to say hi to Dean."

"No, not a problem. You just point the way."

We edged our way out into London's endless rush hour traffic. The gym wasn't too far from the estate but it took us about twenty minutes to get there and find a parking space. Again I told tom to wait with the car, for pretty much the same reasons. I went into the gym and found Dean straight away. He was by the side of the ring shouting instructions to a kid who seemed to be getting quite a beating.

"KEEP Y'RE GUARD UP. DON'T LOOK AT ME, THINK ABOUT WHAT HE'S GOING TO DO. SHIT!"

The boy took a drop and Dean climbed into the ring. The kid seemed out cold, Dean beckoned another kid over with a bucket and they sponged some water over the poor kid's face. Dean looked over and caught sight of me. He nodded to me and said something to the kid with the bucket and climbed out of the ring.

"Andy, mate, good to see ya." We hugged. "What's up? How was Christmas at the manor?"

I told Dean all that had happened, Jamie, the accident and above all Tom and I getting together.

"He's outside if you want to meet him."

Of course he did. We stepped outside the gym and walked over to Tom's car. Tom got out and I introduced them. They got on like a house on fire. I thought Dean went a bit OTT when he asked Tom what his intentions were towards his best friend. Tom smiled wryly and replied

"Anything but honourable"

"That's alright then, you better look after this little pervert, or I'll be coming for you." He softened his words with a smile.

I asked Dean what he was up to lately.

"Nothing much, the old girl indoors has pretty much got me running round for her. The baby's due soon and she's still not got a place of her own off the council. It's a bit tense but it'll be okay."

"Since when did you start coaching the kids?"

"Not long. I don't have too much time to train properly myself, what with the baby on the way, so I had a word with Les and I'm now couching the under 16's two nights a week. It's really cool, but hard work. Talking of which I better get back. Look maybe once the baby's born and things settle down we can get together for a drink of something."

"Sure I'd like that. I'll probably be back for a while around Easter break, meanwhile you've got my number, if you've got time maybe you could come up for a day or so and hang out."

We hugged and said goodbye, then Tom offered his had to Dean to shake. Instead Dean put his arms round Tom and pulled him into a hug. I saw that Dean whispered something to Tom. Later in the car I asked Tom what Dean had said, but with a glint in his eye he refused to tell me. If he weren't driving at the time I'd have tickled it out of him.

*******

Back at University and things settled down pretty easily. Tom as soon as we got settled went to the head of the Business studies faculty to discus changing his course, after a week of red tape he managed to get himself on to the Politics and Sociology course. He seemed much happier then before.

Me, well wild horses couldn't drag me from my course. The workload had got a bit heavier but I was still enjoying it. Dan having come back from Christmas in Australia all tanned and fired up for a manic term. I think seeing his boyfriend must have been good for him as I'd never seen him so happy as I did on our first day back. After class I went up to him and caught him up on my events. He invited Tom and I over to his faculty house for dinner which was nice. I was really seeing Dan as more than a teacher, more than someone to admire and look up to. He was becoming a friend.

Tom and I decided not to announce our relationship to the world though. I knew he'd want time to get his head round this, so I didn't have a problem. Of course I'm sure people guessed, the fact that we'd pushed our single beds together might have been one hell of a big clue. We discussed moving off campus, the idea of some privacy did appeal but we decided against it as we were quite settled there and would miss the fun of dorm living.

I remember about two weeks before Easter break, I was laying down on our bed, looking over to Tom sat by the computer working on a paper. Just thinking how wonderful things were and how lucky I felt. I'd heard someone say once that happiness was a few brief fleeting moments in life and to grab them whenever you can. I don't subscribe to that view, happiness is there for the taking, it's just that sometimes it needs a little push.

I must have been lost in thought, as I didn't hear my mobile phone ring. Tom turned round from his work and said almost sharply "You gonna get that or what?" That shook me out of my daze. I picked up the phone and answered it.

"Dean! What? Slow down. No, no problem. I'll be there as soon as I can. No don't, it's really not a problem."

I came off the phone and looked over to Tom who had a slight worried look on his face.

"It's Dean, he's in trouble. I've got to get to London. Can I borrow your car?"

"What with your driving? look what happened the last time you borrowed a car. I'll drive."

The journey took less than an hour, I'm sure that Tom topped a ton going down the motorway. He didn't ask what was up, which was as well as I didn't know myself. All I knew was that Dean was in trouble.