Changing Tom's Underwear: Part Seven

******

The next couple of days Tom and I spent adjusting to our guests needs. Our room in halls wasn't anywhere near big enough for the three of us, with a baby it was cramped to say the least. One of the main things we had to do though was lay low. We didn't want to attract too much attention as I'm sure campus administration would have had a lot to say to us.

This was by no means easy, on a floor with twenty rooms in a building with five floors, that's a lot of students ready to pop in at any given moment. Like anything news/gossip worthy it got around halls like wild fire. So we had all the jokes, `Three men and a baby', `Which one's Ted Danson?' `Bet the baby gets a better grade then either of you!' That sort of thing.

I did try my best to find an alternative for Dean, some place he could stay, but drew a complete blank. I was thinking about asking Dan if he might be able to help, but then I thought better of it. I didn't want to put him in an awkward position.

Tom did the same, he had heard that one of the rooms in the student village, populated by second and third year students had fallen empty in the last couple of days. He looked into it but it seems that someone else got there first. He asked everyone he knew and even asked Sophie if she knew of anywhere. That must have taken some doing on his part. She's been a bit on the bitter side ever since we got back to uni after the Christmas break. I guess I can't blame her, it's bad enough loosing someone you love to someone else, it must be even worse when that someone else happens to be a guy. Of course I didn't really know her, so to be honest I didn't really give her much thought. Tom on the other hand did try for quite a long time to make the effort to make peace with her. He tried for the best part of a month, only after then did he admit failure.

Dean was as good as his word and didn't stop looking for a job or a place to stay. I don't think I'd ever heard the guy apologise so much in my life, especially to Tom. They'd only briefly met before and I know that Dean felt like he was imposing too much on him. Truth is that Tom took an instant liking to Dean and as he said to me one lunchtime, if Dean was his friend he'd do exactly the same as I was. He wasn't bothered by Dean being around, but added that he couldn't wait to get our room back.

By the third day I really had exhausted all my possibilities, I did ask Dan, but only in a way that I wondered if he knew of anywhere. He told me that he'd keep his ear to the ground. Later that day he came back to me and mentioned that he'd heard about a job going in town that Dean might want to go for. It was just in a fast food restaurant but the hours were flexible and he thought that he might be able to get the baby into the campus crèche if he pulled a few strings.

The job fell through, but Dan did manage to pull in a favour and get Ethan a place in the day care centre should he need it.

I got back to our room after a rather non-eventful drama improv class to see Dean sprawled out on the bed up on his elbows reading a paper. God he looked so good. To see his body you wouldn't have noticed that he'd not had much time to train or workout lately. To crown the sight all he was wearing was a pair of my red Adidas nylon shorts. They were a bit tight on him, we might have the same waist size, but he's far more muscular than I'll probably ever be.

"Alright sexy?" I called out.

He turned round and raised his finger to his lips and made a shush sound and pointed at the travel cot. Then he whispered "I've just got him off to sleep."

I sat down on the bed beside him and looked over his shoulder at what he was reading. He had the local paper turned to the jobs page. Dozens of red circles and crosses through them.

"No luck then?"

"None. I'm starting to think that it was a mistake coming here. I'm in yours and Tom's way, I can't get a job that will pay enough for a bedsit and day care for Ethan and even if I could get a job, this is a university town, all the affordable accommodation has gone months ago. I just don't know what to do". Hitting the paper to emphasise the point.

"Dean, you're not in the way. Take all the time you need. Tom and I can live round this, I've even got used to waking up twice a night."

Okay, so I sort of told a white lie. The room was cramped and resembled a small branch of Mothercare. It was a bit of a pain and if Tom or I needed to get any study in it was normally better to use the library. But none of that mattered to me, I knew Dean would sort himself out soon enough. He was never one to accept defeat. I put my hand on his shoulder and told him not to worry and that something would turn up. What? I don't know, and I kept that thought to myself. I told him the good news about the day care, that at least put a smile on his face. Things can only get better I reminded him.

"Man, you are tense." I said giving his shoulder a bit of a squeeze.

"Humph!" he grunted.

"Come here, let me sort that out for you."

I got up on to the bed and climbed over him. Sitting on the small of his back I leaned over and began to rub his shoulders. He moved up slightly and threw the paper on the floor, then laid his face down on the side of the pillow.

"Humm that's good. No one can do a massage like you." He said twisting his head round slightly.

That's probably true. In the past Dean would often stop by my place after a vigorous training session and I'd give him a relaxing massage. Over the years I'd known him I found all the best ways to relax him and help him unwind. No muscle was over looked. Yep, not even that one! For after a good massage I'd often end up giving him a blowie or a hand job. He used to joke that if he ever made it to professional boxing he'd employ me as his personal masseuse.

I could feel the knots in his shoulders unwind, so I got up and moved down his body. Massaging his back and arms, gradually working my way down to his bum. I rested my hands on his hard muscular nylon covered globes and then started kneading them. I hooked my fingers over the waistband and Dean raised his body slightly so I could lower the shorts down over his taut posterior. I eased the shorts a quarter way down, and then we heard a murmur coming from the corner of the room.

Dean looked round and said "Sorry, I should check up on him."

"Not a problem" I replied.

I got off him and he got up from the bed and turned round to see to Ethan. As he did I noticed the hardness in his shorts. They weren't exactly tenting out, as there wasn't much room in them. I did think though that it was lucky they were well stitched together as I'm sure his dick would have burst through.

He looked into the cot and then turned round. "Just a sleep murmur, he's alright"

Not knowing if to carry on now the moment had been broken, Dean answered the question in my head by pulling the shorts down and letting his hard on jump free. He came back to the bed where I was now sitting up and sat back down beside me. He took hold of my hand and placed it on his dick. I took hold of it and started to gently rub up and down.

"Ahh man you give the best massages" He said laying back down. I soon felt him tense up and then he shot his creamy load several times. Must have been a month's worth of jizz there.

Once he'd unloaded he pulled me down beside him and put his hand to my face. "Thanks mate. You have no idea how good that felt" Then he did something that had hardly ever happened in the past. He kissed me. Just a quick peck on the lips. No tongues, but it was enough for me.

Or so I thought. He moved his hand down and under the waistband of my jogging bottoms and briefs. He pulled my hard dick out and went for it, jacked me off like there was no tomorrow. Just before I spurted a thought went through my head. `That's going to be sore in the morning'. I didn't care. This was a rarity, Dean had hardly ever made a move on me, it was always me that did stuff for him. That was the nature of our friendship.

After we caught our breaths back we went to the bathroom to clean up. Not a word between us. Nothing needed to be said. Nothing could be said because as soon as we finished in the bathroom and got dressed, Ethan started crying and then Tom entered the room.

We kissed hello and he said hi to Dean. Then asked us what was up.

I looked over at the paper on the floor and said that we'd still had no luck finding Dean a job or a place to stay.

"I've been thinking about that and I've got an idea. You know how a couple of months ago we talked about getting a place off campus for some privacy, well if the three, sorry four of us got a place it might make it easier for Dean to get himself a job. I mean there's no way on his own could he afford a place."

"It's a nice thought." I replied "But I don't think we can afford to do that. When we spoke about it before I checked up with accommodation admin and they said that I couldn't get a refund on the remainder of our rent for this room and my part time bar job wont cover much in the way of rent."

In fact the money I earned from the bar was purely for luxuries. You know those little things that just help me get through the day. Food, cigarettes, you get the picture. My student loan had all but gone on paying for my rent and course work books, what little there was left to live on wouldn't feed an anorexic person who had really lost the will to eat.

"We don't have to worry about that, I'll pay. I mean I can sell my car and get a cheaper one, that will leave plenty of money to rent a place for the rest of term and beyond, but we can worry about the future later."

"I couldn't ask you to do that." Dean chipped in. He sounded almost annoyed at the suggestion.

"Nor could I. You love that car and I wouldn't want you to be paying out for us. It wouldn't be right."

"Stuff fair, it's just a bloody car. Andy, in case you hadn't noticed, I love you and I want to do anything to make you happy. You'd do the same for me."

"It's a nice thought, and I know you would do anything to help. But maybe we can put this on ice and do it as a last resort. Like I said I just wouldn't be comfortable with you paying out for us all."

"Okay, but it's a genuine offer and one that I'm more than happy to make."

That much I knew to be true. There was nothing stereotypical about this Scot; he was probably the most generous person I've ever met in my life. Not just in the material way, but in so many other ways. He always put others before himself, if someone needed help he'd be the first one to offer it. He's just a guy with a lot of love to give. I sometimes felt myself feel a bit smothered in it. Not that I minded, the opposite in fact. Do you ever feel that you could wrap yourself up in the person you love? Well that's what I feel about Tom. To love and be loved, is there any better feeling in the world?

Before anything more was said we heard a knock at the door.

"Yeah!" Tom called out.

A head poked round the door and a voice asked if we were all decent. It was Charlotte.

"You never know with gay guys. They always seem to be up to something." She giggled.

"Hey!" Exclaimed Dean.

"Yes, sorry sweetie, I know. You're the one in denial." Another giggle. Dean chose to ignore that last comment and busy himself with Ethan who hadn't stopped crying since he woke.

I liked Charlotte. She always called it as it was. Since returning after Christmas we'd really gelled, we were working on a production together and just hit it off. She was a rather short, flame haired, buxom wench, you'd expect her to be serving ale in a tavern in some long gone by century. She had such a wicked sense of humour, often making some poor soul the butt of her jokes. Mischievous, not malicious.

"Darlings, I'm here to offer my services." She announced.

"Oh?" I looked quizzically at her.

"Yes, well I figure what with it being Friday night and that there's a party in the union bar the three of you might want a babysitter. I'm stuck in with an assignment so I thought I'd offer my services."

"Why thank you Miss Kealing, and how much will this favour cost? Prey tell."

"Oh I don't want your money. I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart."

"Oh, really?" I said sceptically.

"Well if you insist. I do kinda need a favour in return."

"And this favour would be?"

"I need your assignment. I was supposed to have done it and by all purposes I have. Just tell that to my PC, who seems to have lost the file." For an actress she was a fairly bad liar.

"I'm good at computers, maybe I can find it for you." Tom chipped in with a smirk.

"No, No that's alright. I wouldn't want to waste your time. How about it Andy? Please!"

I looked over at Dean; it was after all his decision if he wanted to leave Charlotte in charge of his son.

"Come on." She urged. "You know he loves me." And to emphasise the point she took Ethan out of Dean's arms into her own. That very second he stopped crying. I rather thought that it was her who loved Ethan. In the three days that Dean has been here Charlotte took quite a shining to him.

"You sure?" Dean asked.

"You just leave a list of things to do and go out and have a good time."

"I could do with a night out. Been going a bit stir crazy in this room. Yeah, Okay. Just as long as you're sure."

"Give me your mobile number and if there's the slightest hint at of a problem I'll call you. Now how about that assignment?"

How could I refuse? I fished the disk out and told her I'd make a copy of it for her. The deal was done and two hours later the three of us were heading off to the student union bar.

It was good to see Dean let his hair down. These last few weeks had been a major strain on him. As I watched him in the bar it was like seeing his old self once again. Not that I spent too much attention on him. I had someone else who I'd not spent enough proper time with. Tom. By now most people had worked out that we were a couple. Actually a few people had always thought that we were, so there you go. I put my arm round him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you Tom." I almost shouted, over the noise in the bar.

"Like wise." He replied.

Then a couple of the rugby guys came over and started a conversation with us. Mostly them bragging about their latest sporting achievements. I guess Tom and I didn't want to be rude so we let them carry on. That was until Dean came back to the table and told us that he was going off with a girl he'd just met. He said that he'd be a couple of hours then he'd pop by Charlottes' to collect Ethan. Then he disappeared.

I looked at Tom and shrugged.

"You know what this means?" he asked

"We've got our room back?"

"Spot on."

We made our excuses to everyone on the table and headed back to the room. Two hours and I for one wanted to make the best of them. No sooner had we got through the door to our room we were stripping down. Tom undid his jeans to reveal a pair of CK boxer briefs. I gave my usual look of disapproval, even though I quite liked those shorts on him. They really emphasised his package. Still I thought I'd better be consistent and gave my usual frown.

He hooked his thumbs round the waistband and in one movement he had them down to the floor. His facial expression said in a smug kind of way `Yeah? And what about this?' The sight that greeted me was more than enough to put a smile back on my face. For under his shorts he'd been wearing one of my skimpiest black Lycra g-strings. He must have been wearing it all day, as he was up and out of the room before I awoke and I don't remember him changing this evening. He knows that it drives me wild when he bothers to borrow from my underwear drawer. Not that I could savour the sight for long. It's not very easy to contain a hard on in a small pouch like that, even when it's made from Lycra. There's only so much stretch in any fabric.

I thought that the elastic was about to give as it was tenting out so much. He pulled the material off his appendage and let it rest on his balls. I took a step closer and rubbed my hand over the Lycra pouch. Feeling his balls up and playing around with them in the slippery black material. We kissed, tongues exploring each other's mouths, we broke apart and then Tom led me towards the bed. I lay down and he crawled over me, legs either side. He then freed my dick from the red cotton tanga that I was wearing and went down on me. The feeling of him gobbling away was sensational. The past three days had seemed like an eternity. Since Dean arrived Tom and I hadn't had sex. It was the longest time without since we got together. Until tonight there just wasn't the opportunity to be alone. Okay, so I have to admit that it had crossed my mind that we could do a threesome. But I dismissed this early on as I didn't think that neither Tom nor Dean would be into it.

As Tom was sucking away I placed my hands on his hard butt. Circling around, I loved the feel of his downy arse. I slipped my fingers under the back elastic of the g-string and ran them up and down his crack

Over the past few months Tom had got his technique down to a tee. He knew exactly how and when to push my buttons, how to blow me just the way I like it. Just as he felt that I was running on hot he'd slow the pace down. He'd prolong my orgasm for as long as he could or I was able to. But this time there was a sense of urgency from both of us and it wasn't long before he was swallowing on my hot juice.

I was about to return the favour but Tom had other ideas. He jumped off of the bed, his hard on bouncing up and down. He removed the g-string and went up to the bedside table. Condom and lube, I was ready for what I was about to receive. I got up on all fours, as that was a position that we both liked and felt his fingers caress my hole with the cold liquid. He slipped one finger in, then another. By the time he had his third in me I couldn't wait any longer to feel his throbbing manhood in me. Not that I had to. Tom slowly entered me and pushed in to the hilt and I could feel his pubic hair on my arse. He rested for a moment and then started pumping. In and out, picking up pace and rhythm.

"Don't stop. Ahh Tom. Yeah fuck me. That feels so good Tom. Oh Tom, Erm Dean!"

"Huh?" Replied Tom then he looked up to see Dean opening the door, reddened with embarrassment.

"Shit, sorry guys."

At the same time Tom let his load go and slumped down on top of me.

"I'll er, come back in a few minutes." Dean carried on.

Tom got up off me and looked up at Dean then back at me. We both started laughing. The laughter didn't last too long as Dean made the shush noise to let us know that Ethan was asleep. Tom got off the bed and peeled the condom off his knob, tied it in a knot and tossed it in the bin. He then walked back to the bed and slapped me on the arse and told me to get cleaned up.

"Yes sir!" I said with a salute.

Dean placed Ethan back in the cot and again apologised to Tom for walking in on us.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not." He replied.

I looked over at the clock and noticed that it was a good half-hour before the time we expected Dean to show up. "So what happened? Didn't you get your end away with that girl?"

"Nicola? Yes we did it. But I didn't hang around. I had no idea that you guys were back here, I just wanted to get Ethan from Charlotte. I figured that she'd get a bit miffed if I left it too late. I'm sorry Andy, really."

"Like Tom said, no big deal."

I got up from the bed and followed Tom into the shower. We soaped each other up but apart from a lot of kissing we didn't do anything more. As we got back into the bedroom Dean was just removing his jeans. He had one of my navy blue cotton thongs on.

"Is it a London thing?" Tom asked me looking at Dean in his underwear.

"No, just a me thing. I like the men around me in thongs. Is that such a bad thing?"

Tom didn't answer, he just grunted and made his way to the bed. I followed.

Dean went off for a shower, by the time he returned I'd wanked Tom off and was licking his jizz off my hand. Dean got into the bed and again the thought of a threesome crossed my mind. I instantly dismissed it as some how I thought that Tom and Dean would not be comfortable with it, for their own reasons. Still here I was in bed between two hot naked guys, both of whom I loved, but in very different ways.

"Andy. You still awake?" Asked Dean

"Yep." I answered

"I'm really sorry for walking in on you. I know since I've been here you guys haven't been, well you know had much time to yourselves. If you ever want me to make myself scarce you've just got to say the word. Ethan and I will be out of your hair in seconds, Charlotte's made it more than clear that Ethan and I would be more than welcome to pop in any time we wanted. Or and I don't want you to be embarrassed, but if you guys want at it, just don't let me bother you. For all I care you can make love to each other all night, it won't bother me. I'll just be sleeping."

"Or you could join in" Tom piped up, then continued. "I mean, I don't know about you Dean, but I've not been with another guy other than Andy. Not really. Might be fun?"

"You sure about that?" I asked Tom not really knowing if I wanted to hear the answer.

"Yeah. I mean nothing heavy, I'm not sure I would want to see you or Dean fucking each other for example. That's an issue that I don't want to deal with. I'm comfortable with that you guys have a history, it doesn't bother me. I'd be lying if I said that it hadn't crossed my mind about us all having a bit of fun. What do you think Dean?"

"I don't know mate, not really my scene, ya know. But like I said if you guys want to do anything, don't let me stop you. That said, if there happens to be a spare hand around and it just happens to find its way to my dick then I'll not complain."

"Hands a hand, right?" replied Tom

"Sounds about right to me mate." Dean replied.

I must admit that I didn't think I'd ever hear this conversation. In the whole time that Tom and I had been together he'd never shown a sign that he found other guys a turn on, which if I'm honest, is quite flattering. I`d point out some hot guy passing and Tom would just grunt, saying either that I was a tart or why should he bother looking at anyone else, when he had me? Sweet or what? I have found over the last few months my roving eye has changed. I used to see someone and think `wouldn't mind getting his kit off'. Maybe fanaticise what it would be like having sex with him or even actually have sex with him. But now, well okay I probably still look, nothing more though. Well okay, so I often have a guess at his visible pant lines. I can call a pair of briefs or shorts under a pair of jeans or trousers at thirty paces. It's just something I'm good at. But the idea of me going off with someone now? No, why would I? I had Tom and I knew that Tom loved me enough not to go off with anyone else, male or female. I also knew for a fact that Dean had never been with another guy other than me. Now here I was in the middle of the two people closest to me and they were making a play. Tom leaned over me and took hold of Deans cock.

"Humm, seems pretty hard to me Andy. What do you think?"

I being in the middle decided to take full advantage of the situation, all thoughts of future ramifications out the window and instinct kicked in, so I grabbed both dicks. Tom let go of Dean and placed his fingers round my shaft and gently stroked up and down. All three of us in sync, feeling the ecstasy vibe run through us. We all carried on like that till each of us reached our climax and then drifted off to sleep.

*******

I woke from a deep sleep to find the bed empty. Once my eyes had got used to the light streaming in from the window I saw Dean over in the corner of the room feeding Ethan his breakfast. A couple of minutes later Tom appeared from the bathroom.

"Good morning sleepy head. Did you have a good night?"

"If you have to ask that question I think I'm going to be wondering who was in bed with Dean and I last night." I said, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes then. Anyway, how about you stepping up a gear, getting out of bed and dressed, I've got a plan for today."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Yeah, I thought the four of us could go down by the river, take a picnic, make a day of it. It's only 11 now, we could be there before noon"

"Now that sounds like a plan. You up for that Dean?"

"Good plan. I'll have to get a bottle sorted out for Ethan's lunch and a few other bits but other than that I'll be ready soon."

Then Toms' mobile rang.

"Hi mate. No, what. Shit is that today? No, no it's not a problem. Where are you? Okay, well park up and come up to the room. Yeah, that's right room 520. Okay, see you in five."

I don't know why, call it gut feeling, but some how I didn't think I was going to like what I was about to hear.

"Andy, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot. Today's the grudge match. Alex is just parking up and we're supposed to be heading off to Twickenham."

"Grudge match?" I asked.

"Yeah, we get together every time for the England v Scotland rugby. It's Alex and a few mates from school; it's sort of a tradition thing. I was going to tell you the other day, then what with all that's been going on, it clean went out of my mind. Sorry. You don't mind? Do you?"

Even if I did I wouldn't say. Did I? Well sort of. It wasn't like what we planned for today was set in stone or anything. It would have been nice to spend the whole of Saturday relaxing. It was the first weekend in ages where we both didn't have any assignments to do. I think that what made it worse in my mind was that he was going with Alex. I could have handled him going off out with anyone else, but not Alex. I never put on any kind of possessive trip on Tom; I would never stop him from seeing his friends, no more than he would with mine. It's just that Alex hates me. I'd seen him a couple of times since Christmas and on both occasions he made it abundantly clear how he feels about me. I know, I sound neurotic. But I think I've good reason to with Alex.

The first time I saw him since the hospital bed scenario was when he came down here at Tom's request. Tom thought it might be a good way for us both to clear the air. I was a bit apprehensive but agreed, only because it would make Tom happy. I tried, I really tried. But the stuck up git blanked me every time I tried to make conversation.

The second time was worse. It was Alex's birthday bash. Alex invited Tom and Tom said that he'd only go if he invited me. It was Tom's way of saying that he and I were a couple, accept it.

If Alex had blanked me all-night it would have been a blessing. Instead it seemed that he spent most of the night making snide remarks to me. Never when Tom was in earshot. I didn't make a big deal of it, if I had, Alex would have won. There was no way I was going to let that silver-spooned spoilt brat get in the way of my relationship. So I let Tom think that everything was okay.

Before I had a chance to answer his question Alex burst in.

"Oh my god. It's Three men and a baby!" he exclaimed.

"Like we haven't heard that one before." I replied. Thought I'd get a warning shot out early.

"Alex, this is Dean. A friend from Andy's home."

Alex looked Dean up and down. "That yours?" he asked pointing at the baby. "You look like a breeder." It almost sounded like an accusation.

"Andy, is this the berk you were telling me about?" asked Dean, while laying Ethan down on the bed.

"Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me." Crowed Alex. "Now Tom DARLING, are we going to leave the riff raff to get on with whatever it is they do or are they coming along to see Scotland get the biggest thrashing since 1746?"

"Alex. Don't start." Pleaded Tom.

Too late.

"Riff raff? Where do you come from?" asked Dean, pulling himself up to his full height.

"Hertfordshire. What's that got to do with anything?"

"Just wondered how far we'd have to drive back with your coffin. Now how about you apologise for being a prick and fuck off to your rugby like a good little boy? That or stick around and find out how much pain you can tolerate before you do end up in a coffin"

"Typical Neanderthal. Tom you really know how to mix with the lower orders don't you."

"Alex. I'm getting really fed up with this. You're my friend, but right now I'm embarrassed to call you that. You come here, you insult my boyfriend, and you insult another friend of mine. Where do you get off?" I couldn't tell if the tone in Tom's voice was angry or sad.

"Look" I chirped in. "How about we just start again. You're here to pick Tom up to go out for the day. Tom's been looking forward to it. He'd have asked me along as well, but he knows the only thing I enjoy about rugby is the players. Now if we can just get over that you don't like me and I don't much like you, then we can move on and give Tom some peace. How about it?" An impassioned plea and more to the point I didn't want Alex to know that not only did I not know about the trip to the rugby, but also that he was really getting on my nerves.

Alex looked at Tom and shrugged his shoulders. "You ready to make a move then?" Totally ignoring my plea.

"Andy, I won't go if you don't want me to. We can still go off to the river together."

"Don't be daft. Go. Dean and I can still go out."

Moral victory I think. I showed Tom that I could rise above any petty crap that Alex can dish out. Anything else is Alex's problem. Tom smiled, then we hugged and kissed goodbye. Later in the afternoon, Dean mentioned that I should have seen the look on Alex's face when Tom and I kissed. He said that he couldn't have looked any greener if he tried.

Truth be known I would rather Tom have stayed here. Nothing to do with Alex, It's just that I really was looking forward to spending the whole day with him and Dean.

Just before leaving Tom gave Dean the keys to the car and said that under no circumstances was I to drive it. There was no way that he wanted me in charge of a car with a baby on board. I protested that I was a good driver. Both Tom and Dean let out a snigger. Traitors.

It was just as well that Tom left his car as it saved us a lot of hassle getting down to the river. It would have been a very long walk otherwise. Dean, Ethan and I had a really pleasant relaxing afternoon there. Just what the doctor ordered after the past week.

I'd seen Dean slowly return to his old self in the last day or so. Almost. I say almost as there was a new element to him that shone out. He was a father, responsible for a young life. It was a role that he seemed so natural in. I'd have never have thought it before, but now I could see it. I knew that no matter what happened in the all be it uncertain future Dean would come through for his son. I felt so proud of him.

I was looking at Ethan, laying there in his carry cot. I put my hand in and he made a grab for my finger.

"He's got a tight grip." I said.

Dean smiled. You know, before today, put me in a room with a hundred babies and I wouldn't have a clue as to what one was Ethan. They all looked the same to me. Mini Winston Churchill's. But as I looked at Ethan I saw Dean within him. Really saw it. It was the eyes, his face, they had a very familiar expression. I remember thinking to myself that if he looked half as good looking as his father, he'd be on to a winner.

"Pick him up." Dean gestured.

Cautiously I reached my hands into the carrycot and lifted the baby out. Not a sound, not a whimper.

"See, he likes his Uncle Andy."

"Uncle?"

"Aside from my mum, you're the only family I, sorry we've got. You've always been like a little brother to me. It's just ironic that right now it's you who's doing the looking after. You've always meant a lot to me and I want to ask you a favour. Yeah, I know, another favour."

I gestured for him to go on. Interrupted by Ethan making some strange noises with his mouth.

"If anything ever happens to me I want you to look after Ethan. He's the most precious thing in the world to me and you're the only person I could trust to look out for him. You're my brother man!"

I felt a little choked at this. I'd always felt like Dean was an older brother to me, and he had always looked out for me, but we never really vocalised it before. We were both only children, so I suppose it was only natural that we both fulfilled the roles of siblings to each other. I told him that I was really touched and of course I'd look out for Ethan. "He's my nephew after all." I said with a smile.

When we got back to halls I found a voice mail waiting for me on my mobile, which I deliberately left in the room. The last thing I needed on a relaxing day out was to hear that annoying chirp sounding to tell me that someone wants to talk to me. It turned out to be a message from Tom, saying that he wasn't going to be back tonight as he and some of the guys from his old school were meeting up in London.

"What's up?" Asked Dean, sounding rather concerned. I told him about the message from Tom. I then added that I was the first night that we'd been apart since New Year's eve.

Dean put his arm round me and reminded me that Tom loved me and anything else didn't matter.

"Since when did you become so wise?"

"Oh since about three this afternoon." He smirked.

Well at least that got a smile from me.

The rest of the afternoon and evening Dean and I chatted about old times and more to the point how we don't miss them. I was glad that Dean had come up here, he was the only thing I did miss from back home. Home? It's funny how I still see that place I came from as home. Home should be someplace where you want to be, not a place that you never want to go back to.

I slept through Sunday morning, didn't even hear Ethan wake up for his feed. Must have been early afternoon before I stirred. I looked over at Dean who was sitting over by the desk, book in one hand while his other was rocking the baby chair.

"What's that you're reading?" I asked as I pulled on a pair of jogging bottoms and a T-shirt.

"That play you're supposed to be rehearsing, Much ado about nothing."

A timely reminder to me that even though I didn't have any essays to do this weekend I should spend at least a bit of time learning my lines. I was to play Claudio, opposite Charlotte's Hero. Not exactly the meatiest of roles, I'd have preferred to have played Benedick or Don John, those roles being much more fun. Having said that I was giving the part my all, anything less wouldn't be justice.

"So you're playing the guy in love with some girl called Hero?"

"Yep!"

"And you get fooled that Hero is doing it with one of Don Johns mates just before you're supposed to get married?"

"Yep!"

"Meanwhile you've got two people who dis each other up at any given moment, but you know that they're going to get it together sooner or later?"

"Yep!"

"They didn't lie about the title, did they? I mean so bloody what? I know you told me that a lot of Shakespeare is word play and there's a lot of that here, but this must have been one of those half price matinees or something."

"Yeah, okay so it wasn't one of his best, not when you look at something like Hamlet, but this was just a light hearted comedy."

"I doubt it was big box office. I mean, the title is enough to put you off for starters."

"Ah, but like I said, it's all word play. Back in Elizabethan times `Nothing' was slang for Vagina. So the title translates to `A lot of fuss about vagina'. Kinda got me laughing when I first heard that."

"When you put it like that. This course must be doing you well. I never would have thought you'd get into it so much. I mean Shakespeare? Not exactly riveting."

"What bit are you up to?" Ignoring his last statement.

"The bit where the father and uncle are about to trick Claudio into thinking he's got to marry another girl."

"Well it must have grabbed you, you're nearly finished."

We didn't get a chance to go on with the conversation because at that moment the door swung open and a triumphant Tom bowled in pronouncing victory. Both Dean and I looked over at Ethan worried that he might stir.

"Oops, sorry!" He crossed the floor to the bed where I was sitting and planted a kiss on my lips. My elation at seeing Tom again was short lived when I saw Alex walking in behind him. I had hoped that he would have dropped Tom off and crawled back from under whatever stone he came from.

Dean asked Tom about the match and we were treated to a try by try account. Dean seemed to lap it up, I never knew he had much of an interest in rugby. Once that was all done with I nodded over to Alex and asked why he was here? I didn't mean for it to sound as rude as it did, but there you go.

"I've had an idea." Announced Tom. "I was talking to Saunders here about Dean and what's been going on and he suggested that he take in Dean. Think about it. It's ideal. Alex's got more than enough room and no one would ever think of looking there for him. Dean could stay as long as he liked, or till at least he got back on his feet. What do you think?" He asked looking at Dean and I.

Dean looked at me. I didn't know what to think. So I responded. "No. I mean no. Why the hell would Alex want to help us? I'm sorry Tom but smell the coffee, he hates me, why would he want to help Dean or me out?"

"Andy" Alex spoke up. "Can we have a little chat? In private."

I looked over at Tom and he nodded on that I should hear Alex out. We left the room and walked down the stairs making our way out of the building to the grass court. We headed over to a bench and Alex sat down and motioned me to join him. Still apprehensive, but I did his bidding. It was a long time before he spoke; I was just looking at him with my best poker face. You know if I didn't think he was a wanker I'd have thought him good looking, hot even. He was always well dressed, he had the looks of a late teenage Hugh Grant, blue eyes and floppy brown hair. But there was nothing sweet or bumbling about him. He was a cold calculating shyster or at least that was my take on him.

"Andy, Tom and I didn't go into London last night. We went back to Blacklake"

Blacklake Park was Alex's ancestral home. A gigantic stately home set in acres of parkland. Far grander than the mansion that Tom calls home. According to Tom, Alex's family was what was considered old money. Actually ancient money. His ancestors came off the boat with William the conqueror and through history managed to stay in favour with whatever monarch sat in the throne. Given the bloody history of our realm that was no mean feat, believe me. They even managed to stay on the right side of Oliver Cromwell during and after the civil war. Knowing this background helped me see what stock could breed such a contemptible individual as Alex, or Saunders, a nickname at school apparently, something to do with his secret herbs. Or soon to be Lord Glaivery, a title which he inherits on his twenty-first birthday from his deceased father. None of this impressed me in the least. Maybe there was a small part of my father within me after all, title and inheritance mean nothing to me, actions and deeds are all that count. And by my reckoning Alex was deficient in both.

I didn't show it, I wouldn't give Alex the satisfaction of knowing that he'd shocked me.

"We spent most of the night talking" He went on. "It's clear to me now how much you mean to Tom and how much of a shit I've been to you. I'm sorry."

I said nothing. I was trying to take in what he was saying, while working out what his angle was. He must have one; a leopard doesn't change its spots.

"I probably owe you some sort of explanation." He continued.

Go on, I nodded. Still not uttering a word.

"I didn't want to like you from even before the first time I met you. Tom had mentioned to me about you and what a good friend you were becoming in a letter he wrote to me. I know it's not right, but I felt jealous. I'd known Tom for nearly ten years and he'd been my best friend, the thought of someone muscling in on that wasn't palatable to me. To say the least. The thing is Andy; I've loved Tom for such a long time. Do you know what it's like to be in love with someone? Only to know it's hopeless, that the object of your love doesn't share the same feelings as you? To know that he doesn't even fancy boys, so what chance do you stand? That's the life I've had for years now. I'm sure that Tom has told you about what I got up to or rather who I got up to at school. I'd have swapped all of that for his love. Two nights, that's all we had, or should I say all I had. He could have been there by proxy as it were. But those two nights meant everything to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

I nodded that I did. After all wasn't I in the same boat over Tom not so long ago? Before we got together I started to feel that I was falling apart. God can you imagine being like that for ten years? That's a long time to have your love unrequited.

"My worst fears were realised that night of the party. After he walked in on you and that kid he told me what he was feeling for you. He told me everything and the more he told me the more my guts wrenched. You see I could cope with the idea that he could go off with some girl or another. That way I don't know why, but I didn't feel threatened. I knew that I couldn't compete with that, try as I might. I would be able to console myself with that thought. But as I sat there listening to him telling me what he was feeling for you, I kept on thinking why not me? What was wrong with me? Surely I could give him all the love he needed. Why couldn't he see that?"

I think this must have been the first time I'd seen Alex with his guard down. I looked into those deep blue eyes and I could see them redden up, I was sure that he was about to cry. He must have read my mind as he took a deep sniff and recomposed himself.

"I'm not a bad person Andy. I'm not this evil schemer that you have me painted as. I'm just someone who is as every bit in love as you. It's just unfortunate that it's with the same person. The thing is that I realised last night that all I'd ever have with Tom is friendship and if that's all there is, then that's all I'll need. None of this is to do with you and I hope that you'll be decent enough to accept my apology? Tom chose you and I know that you make him happy. That in itself is enough for me. Sure I still feel a bit hurt, but I wouldn't want that to get in the way of my friendship with him or indeed you. That is if you'll be big enough to accept my friendship?"

"Alex, I don't know what to say. I want to like you, for Tom's sake. I don't want him stressing out that he would loose his friendship with you should he put me first. But I hope you can understand if I am a bit cautious. I had tried to be friends with you and got nothing but shot down for my trouble. It's only for Tom that I'm here now."

"I understand that and I'd be the same if our roles were reversed. But all I've said just now is true and I really want to put our conflict behind us. More to the point, you have a friend who as Tom tells me is in a bit of a pickle at the moment. I can help. I've got a place he can stay, where he'll be safe and should it come to it I've got access to one of the best legal practices in the country should his ex or her mother ever get the idea to make trouble. I want to help, not just because Tom asked me if I could, but really in the hope that it will help build bridges between you and I. Would you at least think about it?"

"That means a lot Alex." I had really started to think that I had after all misjudged him. By the tone of his voice I could measure his sincerity. "But it's really up to Dean, it's his life after all. But I'll tell you this, he won't accept charity."

"It's not charity. I can offer him a roof over his head and a good job if he wants one. I don't know what Tom's told you about me but I run a vast business. The estate alone generates hundreds of jobs, mostly through the tourist season. The house being of historical interest is open to the public and right now I'm still looking for good, hardworking people. I'd imagine that I could find something that Dean would be suited for. It won't be charity, as he'd be doing a worthwhile job, a job that comes with accommodation. What do you say?"

"Like I said, it's for Dean to decide. But if he wants to go for it I wont have a problem."

Alex got up from the bench and offered his hand "Friends?" he asked.

"Friends" I replied.

When I got back to the room I saw that Dean and Tom had had a very similar talk in as much as Tom explaining about Alex and why there have been problems between us. I know that Dean would have taken an instant disliking to someone who not only appeared as arrogant as Alex but also someone who was hostile to me. It's his protective nature, he's always taken it upon himself to look out for me. After I told Dean that I thought it might be a good idea should he want to take Alex up on his offer he seemed keen to go with it.

As it was mid afternoon and I hadn't even had breakfast I thought it a good idea when Tom suggested that the five of us went out for lunch before Dean got packing.

"I'll drive," I said taking Tom's car keys off the shelf.

"NO!" the three of them said in unison. I wonder if they were trying to tell me something.

********

Well a couple of weeks later it was Easter holiday, Tom and I planned to go visit Dean and Alex. I must admit that I was half expecting to get a phone call in the middle of the night from Dean, begging us to come rescue him again. That or a call from the police saying that they were holding Dean on a suspected murder charge. I know that Alex on our last meeting seemed to have turned over a new leaf. But I couldn't get the phrase `A leopard never changes its spots' out of my head. Mind you I know that Dean would be able to cope with any crap that Alex might put in his way.

In the end our trip up to Blacklake park got cancelled when Alex and Dean had to go to Nice on business. Business? More like an excuse to sun yourself in exotic surroundings.

A few weeks back into uni, I got this e-mail from Dean:

Dear Andy,

Just got back from paradise and had a great time. I'm settling in at Alex's really well and have been making myself useful in helping run his businesses and estate. I'm sort of like his P.A. There's lots of work to do and often not enough hours in the day to do it.

The good news is that we still haven't heard from Tracey or her mother, I reckon that this will be the last place they'll think of. Either way, if they do find me I'll be more than ready. Alex got me to see a lawyer and we went through some of the possibilities. Personally I'm for leaving it as it is, as I really don't want to do the court thing. But if I have to I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Ethan's doing really well; he's growing so fast. Alex has been on at me to get him signed up to school already. He says that all the best ones have long waiting lists and I should think about the future now. I don't know, the thought of sending my son away to school feels me full of horror. It's like I've only known the kid for a few months, but in that time he's become the most precious thing in the world to me. I can't imagine life without him now. You know it seems like everything I've done in my life doesn't compare to raising my son, suddenly things seem more important to me. It's hard to explain; maybe it's a father thing.

Anyway, must go. Lots to do today. Give my love to Tom and please, if you guys get a chance over the summer holidays to get down here we'd love to see you. Oh and Alex says hi!

Don't stress too much about your end of year exams and production. You'll pass with flying colours.

Your friend,

Dean

X

P.S. Yes it was business you cynical bastard! If you look to the left and down in the first picture that I've enclosed you'll see a small villa complex. As of last week it became one of Alex's holiday homes. I did the negotiations and got it for a song.

There were a couple of pictures attached to the mail. You know what they say about a picture being worth a thousand words. Well these spoke volumes.

They were both taken on a hotel balcony, the sea and blue sky in the background. The first had Dean, who was a half a head taller, standing behind Alex, while Alex was holding Ethan in his arms. They looked like they were dressed to go out, smart shirts and trousers, even Ethan was dressed up in the latest designer baby wear. In the background I spotted the villa that Dean mentioned. Looked kind of snazzy.

The second spoke even louder to me. It was just the two of them; again Dean was standing behind, but slightly to the left of Alex. This time they were wearing matching green Hom swimwear. I looked a bit closer and worked out that the skimpy cut bikinis were actually thongs. To say that brought a smile to my face was an understatement. What brought a bigger smile to my face was seeing that Dean had his arm round Alex's front and the tips if his fingers had slipped under the waistband of the pouch. I think I got the message, Dean was happy with Alex, far more than I originally thought he would be. I wondered to myself if they had become a couple. After all, stranger things have happened.

I showed the e-mail and pictures to Tom. He smiled at me and remarked that they looked good together.

"Not as good as we do." I replied.

"True. I wonder, who got who into the thongs?"

"Obviously Dean, the guy's got good taste."

"Yeah, you're probably right, Alex was always a boxers boy."

Now why didn't that surprise me?

The next few weeks were manic to say the least. Tom and I had our end of year finals and I not only had an exam production to do but an end of year arts department festival to rehearse. Tom who has caught up with his course now after changing at Christmas was also stressing about the exams. So it was heads down into the books for both of us.

*********

I let my hand fall down the length of her long red hair to the tips, then lifted it back up towards her face. The back of my hand lightly touched her soft face, I caressed her cheek, then saw she had a tear in her eye. Instinctively I wiped it away, then drew my hands down to place them in hers, we inter-linked our fingers and just stood there.

"I love you" she whispered.

"I love you too" I replied

Slowly we drew nearer until our lips met.

"And take five!" Dan's voice broke the kiss up and suddenly we were propelled back to the reality of a stage rehearsal.

"That was really great work Andy, Charlotte. Now we'll take a few minutes and then on to the next scene. Brian, do you have the lighting fixed for the scene?"

A voice from the box above the back of the auditorium boomed over the loudspeaker that he did. Charlotte and I walked down the stage steps into the seats where the rest of the cast were watching.

"Andy, you can't tell me that you felt nothing from that scene"

I looked around and shrugged my shoulders and replied that there was nothing.

"Bloody hell" Charlotte exclaimed to any one who wanted to hear "Why are all the fit guys gay?"

A few of the class chuckled. She threw her arms around my neck and smiled.

"You'll see, by the end of this play you'll be a changed man"

Dan called us back to the stage where the actors who were in the next scene joined us. Rehearsal lasted for the rest of the afternoon. We made real progress and you could finally see the play coming together. It looked like we might actually be ready by the time the first curtain went up.

At the end of rehearsal Dan asked if I could stay behind for a few minutes. I wondered what pointers he was going to throw my way or what he was going to pull me up on. When the rest of the class left Dan spoke.

"Andy, do you have any plans for what you're going to do in the summer break?"

"No, not really. I thought I might get a temp job to help pay for living in this place. The student loan seems to be going no where right now. Why do you ask?"

"Well I've been thinking and I didn't want to pre-empt things by saying anything till I knew for sure, but I've had a chat about you with an old friend of mine at the RSC in Stratford and he'd like you to come down for an audition for their summer season. It would be perfect timing as they start just after you break up and finish more or less before your second year commences. What do you think?"

I was speechless and just stood there for what seemed like ages.

"Andy, your line is…?"

"Wow, Dan, I mean WOW! The RSC? Wow. When? When do I audition?"

"I've arranged a meeting with Dudley Hanley for two weeks time. We'll take a day off and I'll drive you down to Stratford. It's been ages since I've seen the place and I've got a bit of catching up to do. But Andy, I want to make this clear, I've only been able to pull a few strings for you, you've got the audition, what you do with that is up to you. If I didn't think you could make it I wouldn't have bothered. But I know you can. One thing though, I'd appriciate it if you were to keep this quiet. I don't want the rest of the class knowing about this. It may come over to some that I've got a favourite student and that wouldn't do much for them, or me to be honest."

"No, of course not"

"If you do get in, then it's off your own back. Okay"

"Sure, will it be alright if I mention this to Tom?"

"Tom? Yes I don't see why not. How are you two these days?"

"We're doing okay. Tom's finally settled down into his classes and as for the `us' part of our relationship? Yep we're making it, slowly, but we're making it."

"Well don't mind me if I say so but he's a lucky guy to have you."

"Thanks. But I think I'm the lucky one"

"Okay, so I'll let you know the details for Stratford. I've got to run, I'm expecting an important call from Australia in ten minutes."

We started walking out of the auditorium and I asked Dan how his other half was. He replied that he was doing great. But I could see that Dan was missing him very much. There was a tone in Dan's voice that told me that he was counting down the days till their reunion. I then thought about Tom and I.

I hadn't really given much though to what we'd do for the summer. I know that Tom was as ever thinking about travel, but he knew that I had to work to get some dosh together for next year. Spring term ends in mid May and we don't come back till late September, now if I was going to go to Stratford we may not see each other for some time. Suddenly that thought dampened my otherwise high spirits.

Dan and I parted ways and I headed back to the dorm. I opened the door to our room and saw Tom sitting at the desk writing a paper. He turned round and smiled as I walked in.

"Hiya sexy" he said getting up from his chair. We kissed hello and I asked him what he was up to.

"Nothing much, just an essay about the winter of discontent"

"Richard the third?" I asked hopefully.

"No, the last Labour government of the late 70's" He replied with a mock scowl.

"Yawn!"

"Yeah I know but I'm not about to change courses again, so I'm stuck with Politics and sociology."

"Daddy must be very proud" I joked

"Some how I doubt it, certainly not when he hears what I've lined up for summer work."

"I thought you wanted to back pack round Europe?"

"Well, I do but I'm now thinking of just going away for a couple of weeks. I'd really like it if we could both do something, but I know that you're going to be getting a job through the summer. So I got thinking and made a couple of phone calls and I've now got me one of those job things that you go on about all the time"

"Blimey. Job? How the mighty have fallen."

"I'll ignore that and if you're really good I might tell you what I've landed"

"Go on, the suspense is killing me."

"Mr Sarcky needs a bit of a slap by the sounds of it." It always amused me when he tried to put on my Sarf Lundun accent. Try as he might he just can't get it right.

He lunched himself at me and we landed on the bed. Tom managed to pin me down despite my struggling. I stopped moving and we looked into each other's eyes. I lifted my head and our lips met.

When we broke apart I asked him. "So is that it? You're going to become a male escort?"

"Yep, I'm going to dump your sorry arse and find me a real man and make him pay for it."

"Well it's lucky that daddy's got a lot of money, I'd hate to see you starve."

"Well I tell you what, how about a change of plan and we put you out on the street, given a good evenings work I'm sure you could wank enough people off to pay for a hamburger."

"How about you getting off of me and telling me what this job is?"

"How about you telling me how wonderful I am and that you couldn't live without me?"

"Well if you want to hear lies, you're wonderful and I'd be lost without you"

"Not exactly Oscar winning performance, but it'll do for now."

Tom got off of me and sat up on the bed, I raised myself up to join him.

"Okay, so seriously, what job have you got?"

"Well it's going to help me a lot with my course, I hope. I'm working as an assistant researcher for the Edinburgh office of the Scottish National Party."

"For assistant, read dogs body"

"Do we have to go back to the violence, that seems to be prevalent in our tempestuous relationship?"

"We don't, but I'd imagine that I can leave any violence to your father. He's going to kill you. The SNP? Could you have chosen anything worse in his eyes, being a Tory ex government minister and all that?"

"Yep, how about gay rights?"

"Okay, so if you put it that way, I'm sure the SNP will seem like a god send to him."

"Exactly. Besides he'll be wrapped that I'm really taking an interest in our political process. And if that one doesn't work I may have to remind him that when he was at university he was a member of the liberal party."

"Really? I'd never have guessed"

"He's never spoken about it to me but I know. And I'm pretty sure that he did it to piss my grandfather off"

"And is that why you're going to the SNP?"

"I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't. But it's only a happy spin off that I get to irritate my father."

"Well I suppose that's a good enough reason for campaigning for the break up of the United Kingdom"

"Too be honest it's something that I've been giving a lot of thought to lately. I don't know if you remember but at the Christmas party I got talking to Moira MacKintosh?"

I nodded and said that I remembered him chatting to some woman and that he introduced us. She was something big in the local SNP office, like local president or something. Tom's father invited her along with other political opponents as a season of good will thing.

"Well she said a few things to me that really ran true, up till recently I'd not given politics much thought, just left it to the likes of my father and all the other cronies. Anyway, I stayed in touch with her and that's how I managed to get the research job in Edinburgh for the summer. If nothing more I hope to learn a lot and maybe even earn some credit for my course".

"I can think of better things to do for the summer, but if that's what you want to do."

"Funnily enough it is."

"I've also had a thought about what I'm going to do for the summer"

"Oh? Are we back to that rent boy gig of yours?"

"Well sort of. Dan's got me an audition at the RSC. If I sleep with the right guy they might even let me play the Dane."

"You are joking?"

"Yeah, but not about playing Hamlet. Maybe not now, but one day…"

"I know you will, and that's great about the audition. Y-you don't actually have to sleep with anyone for it? Do you?"

"I hope not, although…"

"Then maybe I should show you what you'd be missing if you did."

Tom put his arm round my neck and pulled me back down to the bed. When we were both laying there he put his hand on my face and we kissed. I felt his hand fumble with the buttons of my jeans, once he'd opened them he started to pull them down. I raised myself slightly so that he could complete his task. My jeans ended up on the floor, followed quickly by my briefs. Tom moved down very slowly, kissing me as he went. He reached my now engorged dick and began to lick it; he brought his other hand down from around my neck to my balls and started massaging them.

As quickly as this started he stopped it and got off the bed. I looked at him and he winked at me. I began to get up but he shook his head so I stayed put. Then with the speed of lightning he removed his clothes, down to his boxer shorts. I looked at him, sort of with mock horror. I've been caught with this one so many times. He smiled at me and then pulled his shorts down, revealing one of my blue sheer nylon thongs. I wonder if Tom's the only guy in the world that likes to wear a thong under his boxers?

He went over to the bedside table and took a condom out and sat back down on the bed. He asked me if I was up for it? I looked down at my still very hard cock and replied that I thought I was. He undid the wrapping and unfurled the rubber down my shaft. I sat up and passed him a pillow which he placed under the small of his back, raising his gorgeous arse. I reached down and removed his thong, scrunched it up then tried to shove it in his mouth. Well if you can't have a laugh, what can you do?

Down to business, Tom raised his legs and placed them over my shoulders, revealing his eagerly waiting sphincter. I opened the tube of K.Y and squirted some on a couple of fingers. First one then another I finger fucked him so he'd be ready for the main course. We kissed again, tongues battling each other. I placed my covered cock head at his entrance and waited for his signal. Once received I pushed in, an inch at a time till I was up to the hilt. I again waited until he was comfortable with the intrusion and the started to withdraw. Need I go on? Okay, repeat till fade.

Totally spent I collapsed on top of Tom and we fell asleep in each other's arms.

**********

Over the next couple of weeks I spent every spare moment getting myself prepared for the biggest audition of my life. This was it, The R.S.fucking C. Sure I'd dreamt about one day maybe going for it. But never did I really believe that it would be this soon. How many actors spend most of their careers '`Just resting"? I'd heard once that about eighty percent of the members of Equity at any one time were unemployed. Just waiting for that one call. Was this going to be mine? You know what they say, `it's not what you know, it's who you know.' I knew well that I'd not have had my foot in the door with the RSC if it weren't for Dan. His name carries weight as it were. I knew that I wouldn't let him down, he'd shown me such kindness, friendship even. I would do the best I could.

Before I got into uni I went for an audition at RADA. I didn't think I had a hope in hell of getting in, but I wanted to try. I scarcely remember the day of the audition; it's all a bit of a haze to me. All I do know is that I fucked it up. Got stage fright. That had never happened to me before, not when I did any of the am-dram or when I did that big production at the Lewisham. Why at RADA? I think it was because I got caught up with the whole mystic of the place. So many of the greats started their acting careers there, was I in any fit way to follow in their footsteps? At the time I didn't think so. I bumbled my way through a reading, made an ass of myself in a dance number, dance never being my forte. And to cap it all missed a high note when my vocal skills were tested out.

I lacked the one thing that I needed. Confidence. But now, now I knew I could do it. I had after all spent the best part of the year studying under one of those greats. Daniel Spurn. It was with his encouragement that I found myself. He saw in me a spark of talent and helped me temper it. Now he had got me the audition of a lifetime. I knew I could get this one. Knew it. And you know what helped me along the way even more? The knowledge that even Daniel Spurn got turned down for RADA. Bet they're kicking themselves now.

Dan said that I should get together a small repertoire of scenes from Shakespeare plays. I wondered if I should add something from someone else as well. Dan said that I shouldn't as Dudley, the guy who was going to be seeing me, might get a bit lost. Apparently he doesn't believe that another play was written after the Bard died.

I worked out, with Dan's help some scenes to do and rehearsed them night and day. Dan would often invite me back to his house for extra coaching. A few times he'd invite Tom along and the three of us would have dinner afterwards.

Tom wasn't a much of a culture person. Popular culture yes, but Shakespeare no. I didn't really understand that as I know full well that they drum the classics in at public school. It wasn't till I mentioned it to Dan did the penny drop. I love Shakespeare because I found it for myself, until I got to university no one had forced a curriculum interpretation down my throat. In fact at school the Bard wasn't high up on the list of educational necessities. If it weren't for my going to drama club, I'd never have entered a world that is so important to me.

We did a production of `The merchant of Venice'. Adrian, who was the centre's co-ordinator had typed up a version of the play in everyday English. We read and reread it until we knew the story well. Then he substituted it for the real thing. Okay, so at first we all had a problem with the language used. Every sentence seemed so unnecessarily long. But we knew the story by then and soon all of us got it together. The words on the pages came to life for us; we weren't just reading in rehearsals, we put feeling into it. Breathed life into what before would have seemed as dead a language as Latin to us.

Tom on the other hand had to study it. Dissect every word for its intended meaning. Over and over again till the words themselves became meaningless. Hours of teenagers reading in monotone is enough to put you off it for life. I wonder if the education system really knows what it's doing? When it should be filling young minds full of intrigue and ideas, it seems to do the opposite. It's all about exam results, forget about the detail, forget about the individual. Who cares if you want to enjoy what you're learning? Just so long as you can churn out robot fashion what they've pumped into you.

Tom once said to me that if he ever saw another Shakespeare play it would be day too soon. I hope he didn't mean that, after all if I get into the RSC that's what I'll be doing rather a lot of. But seeing him sitting there watching Dan and I go over my lines I knew he'd be there for me not matter what.

There was one fly in the ointment. One thing that for me was getting in the way of total happiness. I knew that I'd have to confront it sooner or later, or it would eat me up with guilt. My mind kept on going back to that afternoon when Dean and I wanked each other off. At the time it felt right, but it kept on niggling at me. I couldn't help feeling that I'd let Tom down. Betrayed his trust. At night I'd be laying next to him, watching him sleep and wonder to myself what I'd done to deserve such an amazing person in my life.

I didn't have to tell him, I mean, I could have not said a word and carried on as nothing had happened. After all why rock the boat? But I couldn't. On bad days I thought he didn't deserve to have someone like me, someone who it seemed would jump into bed with the next guy as easily as I'd change my underwear. On better days I thought that was crap, I had changed. I loved Tom and that's what mattered. The thing between Dean and me was nothing. Well not exactly nothing, he was my best friend and I care for him very much. Love him even, as he was the first guy I fell for. There will always be that.

I decided that I was thinking myself round in circles and came to one decision. I had to tell Tom. Get it out and deal with it.

So that's what I did. I told Tom everything. He already knew about Dean and I from the past, I'd told him about that long ago. He was really cool about it; after all we all have a past. I just wasn't sure how he'd deal with the present though.

Tom sat there listening to what I had to say. He said nothing for the whole time I was talking, and when I finished. Nothing. Silence. He clasped his hands together and moved them up to his face. A face that I could no longer read. Blank. Nothing. Silence.