Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 03:20:20 PDT
From: Evan Dane <kencyr@hotmail.com>
Subject: Chasing Tyler 2

Warning: This story is about a young gay man and his struggle to find his
niche in his world.  If you are not interested in reading about such a
topic, then please do not read any further.  Please do

Chasing Tyler Part II:
A Realization
--Evan Dane
	
	A glass full of dark, fizzy cola was slid onto Tyler's tray.
	"Here's the soda I promised I'd buy.  I know it's not much of a
payback, but it's a start, right?" The young man gave Tyler an expressive
grin.
	Stunned and a little at a loss, Tyler regrouped admirably.  He
managed to lean back and give the guy an appraising look before replying,
"Well, considering that pop's free in the cafeteria, I'd say it's just a
small start."
	"Free?  Free?!  Do you think money grows on trees?  My hard earned
money went to paying for the meal plan here, so it's hardly free!"  He
clapped his hands over his mouth as his eyes widened.  With exaggerated
horror, he gasped, "Stop me!  I'm channeling my father!"
	Tyler tried unsuccessfully to hide a smile. "Sit down, please.  Um,
I told you that you didn't have to apologize any more for the plate
incident.  It's forgotten."
	Sitting down, the young man smiled again sheepishly.  "I know what
you said, but I still feel pretty bad.  It wasn't the smartest thing I've
ever done.  I don't think I'll feel better unless you let me do something
for you.  I swear that I don't usually try to bean RA's."
	"Well, first, um, I'm not the RA.  Second, I'd feel bad if I let
you do anything.  The bruise is healing, and I can remember back in the day
when I might have been one to toss a pilfered plate down a hallway.
And...why are you smiling at me like that?!"  Tyler was slightly
disconcerted by the boy's ever-widening grin.  How could it get any bigger?
	"Well, Josh already told me that you weren't the RA.  I was sort of
testing you to see if you'd take advantage of my offer to make things up to
you, but you were pretty forthright about it.  Plus you can't be that much
older than me.  You're just right."
	Wondering exactly what he was "just right" for, Tyler's mind was
whirling quickly although you might not have known from the grin plastered
on his face.  Here he was actually talking with the sexy sophomore from the
other day.  While he wasn't a social eunuch, he was not exactly known for
being the most stimulating of conversationalists.  But he was actually
joking around with this awesome guy.  Was it possible that the dude was
actually flirting?  No, it couldn't be; this guy had a girlfriend.  While
the subject was a little abstract for him, he had to admit that the woman
he'd seen the sophomore with the other day had been fairly attractive.
	"So, ah..." Tyler stopped suddenly and blushed.  He didn't even
know this guy's name!
	"Philip.  Philip Torrence," he supplied helpfully.  "And you are
Tyler Adams.  Biology major, hailing from Washington state.  Younger
brother, Dave.  Two cats."
	"Um, yes, no, yes, yes, sort of," Tyler's forehead creased as he
struggled to recall each of those startling observations.  "Yes, I'm Tyler
Adams.  No, I used to be a biology major, but now I'm a chemistry major.
Yes, I'm from Washington and have a brother named David.  No, I don't have
two cats, but I do have two dogs.  Is everyone psychic around here?
Where'd all that come from?"
	"Well, in addition to revealing that you were not the RA, Josh said
he knows you."
	"Josh?  I don't think I know any Joshes.  Wait, Joshua Larson?  The
sociology major on my floor?  Yeah, I was his tutor for biology.  Hey, was
he the guy you were throwing that plate to?!  I thought that might be his
room, but I couldn't remember."
	"Yeah," Philip admitted, gritting his teeth guiltily.  "But you
said you're not mad about that any more, right?  Look don't tell him I told
you.  He's a little intimidated by you."
	"Intimidated how?  I'm not exactly Mr. Universe.  Heck, I wouldn't
even be in contention for Mr. Dormitory Closet."
	"Oh, I don't know about that.  You've got a pretty nice body on
you.  Besides, Josh was referring to your scholarships and awards and
stuff.  He's more, um, in awe than in fear."
	Tyler started at the compliment and suddenly realized where he was.
The noise and hubbub of the world came crashing through his senses.  He was
practically drooling over a GUY in the middle of a crowded cafeteria.  He
stood suddenly, tray in hands.
	Uncertain and scared, he uttered the first words that came to mind,
"I have to leave.  Now.  Um, I have a test."
	Only barely noticing the shock in Philip's eyes, Tyler didn't even
hear what Philip said to his quickly retreating back.  *******
	He awoke more than a little disoriented.  Lifting heavily gummed
eye lids with an effort, Tyler tried to discern where he was.  The room was
dark, but there was just enough light peeking through half-closed blinds
for him to realize he was in his own room, in his own bed.
	His right arm dangled over the side of the bed and as he brought it
up to massage his temples, it knocked something over that fell to the
ground with an audible clink.  A bottle.  Tyler sighed bitterly.  His dry
and foul-tasting mouth and pounding headache confirmed what he was slowly
realizing: he had a hangover.
	He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed knocking over
yet another bottle.  "Oh God," he thought, too tired for disgust.
	He put his head in his hands and tried to remember what had driven
him to drink this time.  At parties, Tyler was a strict one-beer-a-night
guy, but sometime recently, he had taken to drinking himself almost
unconscious to drown out his worries.  It didn't actually take an excessive
amount of alcohol because depression seemed to weaken his system and a few
shots could easily wipe him out.  The worst part, possibly, was that he did
his drinking alone.
	He only just had time to realize that he was naked before the
bathroom door swung open.
	"You're awake," said Ron flatly.
	"Please go away," Tyler moaned, ashamed, as he pulled the blanket
over his midsection.
	"What was it this time?  A bad grade?"  Ron muttered
unsympathetically as he came over to sit beside his suitemate.
	"Could you please just go away!  It's none of your business."
	"None of my business?  None of my business?!"  Ron growled.  "Look
at me, you jerk."
	Unwillingly, Tyler raised his eyes to look at his friend.  Ron's
eyes were bloodshot and his clothes rumpled from a sleepless night.
	"It becomes my business when I find my suitemate passed out on the
floor in our bathroom covered in vomit.  It becomes my business when I have
to drag that suitemate into his bed and leave him on his side.  It really
becomes my business when I stay up all night checking your breathing and
pulse several times an hour.  At one time, you were almost at the point
where I would have had to call the hospital for an ambulance.  I wasn't
about to let you die just to protect you from your parents' wrath."
	Tyler shrunk miserably under Ron's words.  "I think I remember you
cleaning me up, too," he offered shyly.  "Thanks."
	"Well, um, yeah.  Damn right."
	"Was he actually blushing?" Tyler wondered.
	"If I was going to have to check up on you all night, I was damned
if I was going to have to smell you all night."  His voice softened and he
asked, "So, are you going to tell me why you were drinking again?"
	"Again?"  Tyler was startled.  "You mean you knew about the other
times?"
	"Duh!  I am your suitemate and a heck of a nosy RA to boot," Ron
smiled.  Then the frown disappeared as he said quietly, "And above all
that, I thought I was a friend."
	"You are!  One of my best friends," Tyler cried.  "It's not that I
didn't want to come to you, it's just that I'm not in the habit of bringing
stuff like this to anyone.  I've always been sort of self-driven, but I've
never discussed, um, these particular feelings with anyone before, so I
tried to do it on my own."
	"Is it a guy?"  Ron asked hesitantly.
	"Well, yes and no."
	"Remember that guy from yesterday?  The one sitting next to the
girl you thought I was ogling at lunch?"
	"Vaguely.  I think he had really nice hair."
	"Well, his name's Philip Torrence.  I think he's straight, but I
was practically eating him with my eyes when we bumped into each other at
lunch the other day.  Staring at a guy, let alone this guy, is just
something I've never done before.  I practically ran away thinking, 'You
almost revealed that you're gay to a total stranger.  Even if he isn't
disgusted, what if he tells someone else who tells someone else, etcetera,
etcetera.'"  Tyler sighed.
	"I can understand that.  Before I told anyone, I was nervous all
the time.  Practically paranoid.  After I admitted it to myself, I was
constantly looking at how other people treated me to see if they could see
the difference in me.  It doesn't get easier if you're out just to certain
people like me.  My cousin Gabe came out in a fairly public way to a lot of
people, and his method had its benefits and drawbacks."  He shrugged.
	"We've known each other for almost a year now.  Why didn't you ever
tell me?"
	"Well, I only came out to myself about two years ago.  I told my
parents and Alec, my brother, before I came back to school this past year.
Since then I've come out to some of my friends from high school and went to
some Queer Circle social events.  The QC socials were either attended by
established couples or by sharks on the make, by the way, if you ever
decide to attend.
	"But back to you.  Well, when you agreed to be my suitemate last
year when I got the RA post, I wasn't yet out to anyone.  When school
started, I just got wrapped up in keeping afloat academically while
managing my more ridiculous RA duties and you were adjusting to your switch
in majors.  I guess I also wasn't involved with anyone, so it didn't seem
necessary that I prepare you for any shock if you happened to come into the
bathroom to find a strange guy there."
	"So then your new boyfriend brought this revelation on?"
	"Hm, boyfriend?  What?  Oh, no.  You asked me, remember?  If you
had ever before then asked me point blank, I would have told you.  I've
never lied about my sexuality.  I just haven't volunteered the information
and no one's asked.  I just thought that you could handle it as a friend
and decent human being, and I wanted to know if you were, too."
	"That's cool.  So, when do I get to meet the boyfriend?"
	"Ahem.  Well, I kind of misspoke there."  Ron had the grace to
blush.  "I don't really have a boyfriend; the words just sort of popped
out.  I have my eye on a couple of guys, but no one special yet."
	"Well, best of luck, bud.  I hope I can find someone.  Philip's
cute but straight."
	"How do you know that, by the way?  Did he tell you?"
	"Well, I kind of assumed from the way that girl was all over him
the other day."
	"So, he didn't.  You just assumed.  Did you know I was gay or did
you just assume I was straight before you asked?"
	"Hm, point taken, but..."  Tyler replayed his conversation with
Philip in his mind.  Even those somewhat odd remarks about his age and body
were perfectly innocuous if you took them at face value.  And there was
that VERY affectionate woman.  "Well, I guess I'm not 100% positive, but
with my luck..."  Tyler stuck out his tongue.
	"Well, Ty, just give it a thought, okay.  The sun's coming up, so I
need to shower and get to class.  You don't mind if I shower first do you?"
	"No, go right ahead."  Tyler motioned dramatically, his humor
returning as the pounding headache receded.  "And Ron...thanks.  For
everything, you've been a good--great, really--friend these past couple of
days."
	Ron snorted.  "Just these past couple of days?  I'm hurt."  He
closed the bathroom door behind him with a laugh.  *******
	"Tyler?"  A voice inquired shyly.
	"Yes?"  Tyler turned his head around trying to locate the
questioner.  His eyes fells upon a guy of about 5'11", with brown hair and
deep blue--almost turquoise--eyes.  "Hey, Joshua!  I ran into your friend
Philip the other day.  How's Sociology going?"
	"Much better now that I have all my science general education
courses out of the way.  Thanks for being such a great tutor.  I really
hate science."
	"Hey, let's sit.  There's a table over there."  Tyler gestured off
to the right.  The third floor of the library was usually pretty empty,
especially since the elevator broke down last week.  Tyler himself didn't
frequent the place, but for some reason, chemistry and biochemistry
journals were housed on the third floor instead of on the second floor with
the rest of the science books.  "Do you have time to gab a little?  What
are you doing up here anyway?"
	"Yeah, I have some time.  I like to study up here.  It's quiet;
unlike certain dorm floors I could mention.  Plus this is the social
science floor.  I could ask you what you're doing up here; I think you
hated psychology and stuff almost as much as I loathed science."
	"I guess I would agree that our floor is not the most conducive to
studying.  Too many freshmen.  As to why I'm up here, the library staff in
their infinite wisdom placed chemistry materials up here rather than with
the other science stuff.  Go figure.  So what've you been up to?  I didn't
see you this past semester."
	"Well, my schedule pretty much sucks.  Sociology profs are a lazy
bunch so they schedule classes only once or twice a week so that they only
have to come in once or twice a week.  The problem is that then students
have to sit through two to four hours of straight lectures."
	"Ouch!  Is that legal?"  Tyler grimaced in sympathetic pain.
	"Apparently.  The registrar's office lets them do it.  The rest of
the time I'm working with Professor Matthis in my department on a research
project.  So how's biology?"
	"Ah, like I told Philip, I dropped out of biology to pursue
chemistry.  The degree requirements were a joke.  If I don't make it into
medical school, I want some serviceable skills so that I can at least get
into a good graduate school."
	"You, not make medical school?"  Joshua snorted.  "Don't make me
laugh."
	"Hey, only a third of applicants make it.  Nothing's guaranteed."
	"Yeah, but you're Tyler Adams, president of Sophomore Honors, the
Sophomore Biology Student of the Year, and Goldwater Scholar.  You've got
it made."
	Tyler blushed and waved away the compliments.  "Thanks, but you
never know.  I still need to get my MCATs back.  So what's up with this
Philip?"  Tyler asked curiously.
	"Philip?  Oh, Phil's a good guy.  We hang out with some of the same
people.  He's a finance major."
	Tyler was puzzled by Joshua's hesitancy--a painstakingly careful
watching of his words--in describing Philip.  He decided to try to elicit
more information.  "I saw his girlfriend.  She's very pretty."
	"Hm, maybe you better describe this woman.  I'm not sure I know who
you're talking about."
	Tyler danced a jig internally.  Maybe there was some hope.
"Pretty, platinum blonde, thin, maybe 5'7".  I didn't notice her eye color.
She was touching Philip a lot.  Messing with his hair."
	"I really couldn't say.  I'll definitely ask him, though.  I can't
imagine how he'd be hiding a woman from me.  Especially a pretty one.
Today's the sixth, right?  I thought I had a lot of time, but I just
remembered I have a study group soon.  It was nice seeing you, Tyler.  Take
care."
	"Yeah, bye, Josh."
	"Joshua is fine.  It's weird but only Phil calls me Josh.  Later."
	Tyler sat for a moment to process his encounter.  Joshua had seemed
to react to the description of the woman even though he denied knowing who
she was.  Maybe Philip was stealing Joshua's ex...and maybe we all lived in
a fantasy-land daytime soap opera; "Get real, Tyler," he told himself.
	But the conversation did seem to kill hopes that Philip could be
gay.  Joshua hadn't thought it at all odd that Philip would be flirting
with a lovely woman at all.  He was angry rather than confused.  Oh, well.
Fish in the sea and all that.  Hopefully the others were as cute as Philip,
though.
	There was almost enough useful information in that conversation to
forgive Joshua the plate incident.

*********************
Okay, so Tyler and his Sophomore have met and exchanged names, but Tyler's
just way too cautious to just come out and ask...or is he?  Will Tyler
continue to drown his sorrows?  Does Joshua just have a really good memory,
or is he the one chasing Tyler?  Is anyone chasing Tyler, or is he as alone
in the universe as he sometimes likes to think? 

Thanks again for reading.  Let me know what you think of the story so far;
e-mail me at kencyr@hotmail.com or leave a note on my message board. 
http://members.tripod.com/~poolstick/
--Evan