Date: Tue, 13 Aug 2002 14:23:09 -0700
From: Steve Thomas <s4d@hotmail.com>
Subject: Chris-Crossed

This is my third attempt at writing for Nifty.  My first is also here in the
college section, and is called Colins-Story.  The other, "My Brother-My
Idol", is in the incest section and is about my fantasy about my true life
brother.  If you read these and they have a familiar thread, it's because I
am writing from my own experience and fantasy.  So I hope you enjoy!

Chris-Crossed

I have led a sheltered life.  I know that.  I was raised in an upper middle
class family, where right was right and wrong was wrong.  There was no gray.
Only black and white.

It was not okay to divorce.  My parents fought like a cat and a dog,
sometimes keeping us boys up late into the night listening to them.  They
had this rule:  You don't go to sleep on a fight.  We just accepted it as
normal.  Mom was overbearing to a suffocating degree.  Dad was very easy
going, but he had his moments.  He was the only one of the Gary's that she
did not have a strangle hold on.  Well, that is until we boys left home.

Mom's parents had 7 children -- back when big families were the norm.  Five
daughters and two sons.  Grandfather had two qualities (boy, it is an
oxymoron to call them that!) that stood out in the family.  He was an ogre
and he was scared of his own shadow.  He regularly raped four of his five
daughters.  Mom swears he never touched her.  I asked a psychologist friend
of mine about this, assuming that she may be in deep denial.  He said no, it
was possible, even quite probable that if she was a strong individual, that
he did not touch her.  You see people like rapists and bullies are in
reality, weaklings.  So they compensate for this by preying on those weaker
than themselves.

Well, believe me, Mom was a STRONG individual!  Dad says she always was.
But, my friend also told me that the bad news is, it doesn't matter, because
whether he touched her or not, the damage was pretty much the same.  Because
of growing up in a family like that, Mom had nothing but disdain for most
women - because her mom knew what was going on and did nothing about it --
and had a very strong compulsion to dominate men.  It seemed no accident
that she had three boys and no daughters!

I was the youngest, and I was supposed to be a girl.  My dad was very busy
building his business as I was in those very impressionable years before
starting school, and really much after that, so he was not a large influence
in my life,  I knew he loved me, but he taught me very little.

My name is Christopher Allen Gary.  I was a sensitive boy with very tender
feelings.  I broke both of my legs at different times before I was seven,
and was often sick with sore throats.  My mom was a stay-at-home mom, and so
I became a mommy's boy.   So many things happened in my life that seemed to
conspire to make me all I am today.  But that is what life is all about,
isn't it?  The me each day is happy most of the time, but I'm not very
satisfied with my lot much of the time.

When I was six I had my first homosexual encounter.  It was initiated by my
older brother, and involved a mutual friend, with the three of us sucking
each others tiny penises.  It was a small, one time occurrence, but one
which made a large impression.  So when I was faced with doing it again,
when I was nine, with two of my own friends, it was not repulsive or taboo,
but rather very enticing to me.

I learned to masturbate at a very early age -- probably five or six.  But as
with most little boys, when the intense "funny feeling" would start, was
when the jerking stopped.  So too with the blow jobs.  It never occurred to
us to keep doing it until the feeling came, much less until it subsided.

When I was about 11, a friend and myself were discussing this very thing and
we both admitted that we were kind of afraid of going beyond the "funny
feeling" which was the beginning of an orgasm.  We made a pact to jerk each
other to completion that very afternoon.  And we did!  That changed jerking
off for my whole preadolescent life!    I then could not stay away from my
dick!  It was an obsession!  Funny thing is, it still never occurred to us
to suck to completion when giving blow jobs.

By the time I got into junior high school, 7th grade, all that stuff
stopped.  It was pretty normal in my community for boys to play that way
with one another.  But boys grow up and their feelings toward the other boys
-- and more importantly the girls -- change.  Don't they?

Well for me they didn't!  All the guys I "played" with progressed through
puberty normally, as far as I know.  Well the way I progressed seemed normal
to me, as well.  I knew somehow that it was taboo to talk about, but I also
thought that all of the boys were as fascinated as I was in the gym locker
room and showers.  Didn't all boys compare?

Well yes, they did, I learned later, but most boys (from 90 -- 99%, depending
on who is doing the statistics) "grow out of" any desire to experiment with
other boys.  By the time I was in college, I actually believed that I was
just late, and that I still would some day grow out of it.  With the onset
of puberty, and the most often strong feelings that ensue, I was not
different, but my strong feelings were for the other boys, and not the
girls.  But I just knew that I would grow out of it.

When I entered junior college, close to home, I was every bit as interested
in catching every glimpse of other guys as I ever had been.  I was very
careful in doing so.  I had a long history of dating girls.  I started when
I was 12, and usually had a date every weekend of my life, and this didn't
stop in college.  It was not difficult, because I was extremely good
looking.  So much so that, living in Los Angeles, talent scouts regularly
tried to get my mom to let me screen test.  Mom was very much against this,
and prevented it altogether.  She knew how heavily homosexual Hollywood was,
and "protected" me from it.

It was much harder to protect me as I grew older and more independent.  When
I started at UCB (University of California at Berkeley) there was a lot of
controversy over co-ed dorms.  Ours was not.  I was not the least
disappointed.  I was roomed with two other guys.  I wanted this so much.  I
still believed that I would grow out of my attraction to guys, but it wasn't
happening yet.  I was almost 21 when I met my two roomies, Gunther and
Robert.  We very quickly became very close friends.  That was a lucky thing,
because it didn't always work out that way.  Especially for me, who seemed
to be the butt of so many jokes as I was growing up.  But this was a new
start for me.  Gunt and Rob-E had no feel for what I was to my old friends,
far far away.

I was attracted to both guys!  I couldn't let them know, but each had his
attractive points, to me.  Gunt was short, built slight, and he had generous
hair everywhere except his head, where it was obvious that by the time he
was 30 he would probably be bald.  Funny thing was, I was so attracted to
guys like that!  He had a heavy beard, seemingly always with a heavy
five-o'clock shadow.  It almost made me drool!  His looks were very
masculine and his ruggedly handsome face belied his small stature.  He was
also the dominant one of the three of us.  He very early on gave us names
that stuck, at least in our room.  Roberts full name was Robert E. Lee
Balser.  Obviously he was from the south.  Gunt right off started calling
his Rob-E, or Robbie.  Continuing with the diminutive naming, he called me
Chrissy!  I complained loudly, but secretly I was so pleased that another
guy -- especially THIS other guy -- liked me enough to give me a pet name.
And truly, he never once called me that outside the room.

Robbie was, if possible the exact opposite of Gunt.  By the way, I got all
bold and decided to name Gunther.  It was not all that original, but "Gunt"
sounded like -- well you get the picture!

Anyway, Robbie was 196 cm [6'5"] tall and he was anything but slight.  He
was not fat!  He was -- built!  Goliath built!  I was glad to have him on my
side!  I would have loved to have him on my front or better than that, on
top of me!  He had a very delicate, VERY cute face, with no hair anywhere on
it, and his thick brown hair on top would prolly turn white long before he
lost any of it.  He was shy and very much the least dominant of the three of
us.

Both these guys made my stomach do flip flops.   I hid my sidelong glances
and peeping at them as they went scantily clad and sometimes even nude in
the room.  I never could do that for reasons you can prolly guess!  They
both teased me about it, but I did not relent.  Especially Gunt.  I really
liked him most of the time, but he could be such a prick at times!  He even
accused me once (I think it was in jest) of trying to hide my obvious
attraction to them.  I was so pissed!  In the first place, I was sure I WAS
hiding it, and secondly, I was so sure I would grow out of it, that I hated
being reminded that I might not be.

"Chrissy," Bobbie said to once when Gunt was not in the room, "Does it
bother you that Gunt teases you so much?"

"Not really," I said nonchalantly, and then I cleared my throat, "Ahem."

"You're not very good at that are you, Chris?"

"At what, Rob?"

"Lying."

"What th - "

"I can see how you react sometimes when he isn't looking.  I don't think he
would notice even if he WAS looking!  Chris, I would trust you with my life!
  I hope you feel the same toward me.  I don't have a brother like both you
and Gunt do.  But I feel like I am getting one -- in you!"

I was both affronted and -- titllated -- by his comments.  That he perceived
my feelings about how Gunt acted toward me was threatening, but that he
cared so much was -- well very appealing.

"Rob, okay.  It does bother me some.  But it's what I've come to expect from
other guys.  Believe me, it's nothing compared to how I was treated back in
high school!"  I said it more passionately than I wanted.

"You mean - - ?"

"I was a loner."

"Me too!  I was hated by so many maybe because of my size or something, but
I was not ever very happy about it."

"Omigish, It was the same with me!  I mean I was not tall like you, but - "

"I was only 185 cm [6'-1"] tall until two years ago."

"So you were as tall as I was all the way from 8th grade until now.  Still
taller than most guys.  And yes, I know they resented that.  It's not fair!
Not fair to them because they did not choose to be short, and not fair to us
for the same reasons.  How tall are your parents, Robbie?"

"My mom is 188 cm [6'-2"] and my dad is 201 (6'-7"]"

"So you may grow some yet!"

"Have you seen that girl who hangs around the student center all the time --
the really tall one?"

"Oh, yeah!  I wouldn't mess with her!"

"You see, you are doing exactly the same thing!  I stuck up a conversation
with her yesterday, and she seemed starved for attention.  It's because of
that kind of pigeon-hole type of attitude, that anyone different has a hard
time!"

"Hey, Dude!  I - -"

"I'm sorry, Chris, I didn't mean to get down on you!  I was just pointing
out that we all do it to some degree."

"Oh.  I see what you mean."

"Anyway, I have a date with her on Friday night."

"You mean you asked her out?!!  Dude - "

"No, she asked me out.  You know I could never do that!"  he said blushing.

God!  He was cute!

Just then, Gunt came bounding in the door, destroying any moment that we
might have had. I was wondering where this might go!

"DUDES!  Get your clothes on quick!  Oh!  You are of course fully dressed,
Chrissy, but anyway, get ready to go out and party, both of you!"

Gunt had run some distance to come get us, and his chest was heaving.  He
stripped off all his clothes and headed for the bathroom.  I watched closely
as his fur-clad but moved into the bathroom, where he left the door open to
stand at the toilet and pee.  I was dreamily watching, intently, when I
remembered Rob.  I looked at him and he was watching me the whole time.  As
soon as our eyes met, he averted his.  Busted!  His face was as white as
mine was red, only he did not see mine.  He shed his shorts and walked to
the shower, wrapped his towel around (He never did that before!) , and
waited for Gunt to finish.

We got to the student center and it was crawling with people!  I saw a
couple guys that were in my English lit class, and went to them.  Robbie
followed me, and Gunt went directly up to a very pretty girl, who was at
least 7cm [3"] taller than he was, and started a conversation.  Even though
I walked over to the guys from my class, I was ignored.  I just stood there,
like I belonged. And then something caught my eye.  The tall girl was coming
our way.  She was really nothing short of a goddess.  She stopped in front
of Robbie.  He introduced her.  "Hey Chris, this is Al!"

"Hi, uh -- Al!  Interesting name!"  Chris gave me a totally withering look.

"My name is Adrienne Little.  Heh, I guess it didn't fit, so people started
calling me A.L., and then it got shortened to Al."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean - "

"It's okay, everyone wonders."

With that she said something to Robbie and they disappeared, leaving me
alone with this group who had no intention of letting me in.  God!  It was
high school all over again!  I scanned the crowd, and Gunt caught my eye,
from way over on the other side of the quad.  He was standing on a chair or
something.  He was motioning for me to come.  I did not even excuse myself
as I left.  I'm sure I was not missed.

When I got over to Gunt, he shiftily looked all around and handed me a shot
of something amber-colored.  "Drink this!" he commanded.  I sniffed at it.
"Oh. Stop, just throw it down!"

So I did.  It was straight rye whisky, and it was awful!  I choked and
coughed for at least 30 seconds.  Gunt chuckled.  "There is a cure for that!
Here!"  He looked left and right and handed me another.  I shook my head,
barely able to breath.  He said, "drink the Fuckin' stuff, pussy-boy!"  He
was pretty drunk already.

I was pissed but more than that I was embarrassed!  I took it and swallowed
it.  He was right, it easier the second time.  It was even easier the third
and fourth!

We arrived home at about 10:30 PM, supporting each other.  Truly I don't
know how we got that far.  I went to my bed and collapsed.  I didn't notice
until 2 hours later That he was still attached to me.  I woke up, still very
dizzy -- still very drunk.  I felt something heavy on top of me.  Gunt's face
was on my shoulder, his mouth open and he was drooling all over my neck.

His dick was between my legs, and mine was trapped pointing down his leg.  I
tried to gently push him off.  I didn't want him to wake up, because as soon
as I realized the position we were in, I started to get hard.  I moved him a
little.  His eyes opened, he looked down and reached his hand down and
straightened my pecker, pointing it the right way (up!) and passed out again
-- still on top of me!  I thought he was out cold, but then I felt it.  His
dick was growing!  It was pressing ever harder up between my crack.  I
whispered, "Gunt, you gotta move!"

He again opened his eyes and looked deep into mine.  I though he was about
to pass out again, when he started humping my leg.

"Gunt.  GUNT!"  I yelled.  "It's CHRIS!"

"OH! Hi Chris!  Hee hee hee!  God you're gorgeous!" and his head again
dropped onto my shoulder, his eyes closed, and he resumed humping me.  I was
appalled!  I was almost panicky!

"GUNT!!!  GET OFF!"

I said, pushing with all I could muster.  In my drunken state, I was not
very strong. My whole body was tensed up but I could not push his puny
little body off.

"You know you like it, Chrissy!  You know it!  And I know it!  I've known it
from the first day!"

It was like all the energy drained out of me.  How could he know!  I was so
careful.  I thought!  When I slumped back into the mattress, he did raise up
enough to pull himself up and he put his mouth on top of mine.  I could feel
his hot hardness against my own now.  I had never lost my hard-on!  I just
let it happen.  He was right! It WAS what I had wanted since the day we met.
  He kissed me sloppily, and then turned his attention to the south.  He
turned around so we were in 69 position, and started sucking with all his
might.  He stopped and looked at me.  "Are you going to just lay there and
let me do this by myself?"

"Huh?"

"Get to work, sucker!"

I did not wait to be coaxed any longer!  I had wanted this since 7th grade!
I grabbed his pecker in my hand and then slipped the head into my mouth.  We
were sucking and tonguing and bobbing in unison, and we didn't hear the door
open.  But we heard it close.  It slammed!  We looked up at the tall figure
standing there.  His look was incredulous.  "I'm outa here!"  He started out
the door.

"No, don't go!"  Gunt said.

"No!  I mean I am going to the dean and find another place to stay!"

"Please, Chrissy, I mean Pussy, I mean, ROBBIE!  Please don't - -"

"Don't worry, I won't out you!  I just can't stay here.  besides you prolly
need your privacy!

"Rob," I interjected, "It's not like that!

"Sorry Chris!  I can't look at you now without- -" and with that he was
gone.

Immediately Gunt started back to sucking, and truly I was just about to blow
when Rob came in, so I finished him off as well.  I don't even remember
cumming!  I was so drunk!  Rob said I did -- in vuluminous amounts!  When I
woke up, we were still in that position, and I opened my eyes to look
directly into his pubes!  Actually they were what woke me up, tickling my
nose.

"Oh!  Damn, then it's true!"  I felt something was amiss down at my other
end.  He was slipping his finger out of my anus!

"Dude!  That was so hot!  I've had girls do that to me, but never like
that!"

I had a monster headache.  "Doesn't your head hurt?"

"Yeah, but - "

"Have you ever done that before?"

"I've thought about it plenty.  Just never got drunk enough to have it
happen."

"But you never -- uh, when you were a kid?"

"Nope!  I hope it's not the last - "

That was  all I heard when I passed out again.

Notes:

This was a test beginning.  My stories are loosely based on my own
experience, but more than that my own fantasies.  I did not EVEN plan on sex
in the first chapter!  It just happened.  Like in my first attempt,
"Colins-Story", I write straight from the heart, with no agenda, no
planning.  Whatever happens is directly off the top.  If you're used to a
lot of sex in your stories, this will probably disappoint you.  My stories
are about life, love, and relationships.

If you are still interested, let me know, and I will write more.  Reference
"Chris-Crossed" in the subject line. And address it to s4d@hotmail.com

Love, Steve