Date: Thu, 29 Aug 2002 14:34:02 -0700
From: Steve Thomas <s4d@hotmail.com>
Subject: Chris-Crosssed Chapter 11

I have been informed that it would be a good idea to state a few warning
comments.  There may be graphic sexual scenes between men in this story, so
please, if this offends you, or it is illegal or you are underaged to read
such, stop here and hit your "back" button.  If it is okay with you, read on
and enjoy.

Chapter 10 ended with:

He slid down and laid his head on my chest.  I opened my legs further, and
encircled his torso with them.  Then all went gradually dark, as I fell
asleep, listening to my lover's slowing breathing, and feeling his heart
beat against my stomach.

I can vaguely remember the sweet face of Rob, as he pulled the sheet and
blanket over us.

Chapter 11

"It's Sunday morning - or nearly afternoon guys."  Rob's face was close
enough to both ours to kiss.  He spoke gently, and was smiling widely.
Craig was still on my chest.  "I covered you up when I got home.  you must
have made an early night of it.  I was not that late, and you were sawing
logs when I came in."

"What?!  You covered us up?" Craig mumbled.  "God, man, I'm sorry you had to
see that!"

"You both looked so peaceful, I couldn't bear to wake you."  Rob said.  He
actually looked pleased with himself.  He handed us each a cup of coffee.
"Man, Craig, you've got a hairy butt!"

"That's fur, Bucko, and I love it!"  I replied.  "I remember waking up
momentarily, seeing the sweet expression on your face."  I told Rob.  I also
felt a kind of love that only Rob could express.  Both his and my faces were
red, but it felt good expressing our true feelings to each other.

"Well, today is the day we decided we would all drive down to Santa Cruz,
remember?" Rob said.

"I found out," I rejoined, "that the Boardwalk is not open this early in the
season."

"That's okay, he countered, "it will be a nice drive anyway.  I'll drive
Al's car and you two lovebirds can cuddle in the back seat!"

"So we can assume that you are still a virgin?"  I asked Rob.

"You really don't get it do you?  I am going to stay this way until I am
married!  From the position I found you two this morning, I guess I can
assume neither of you is a virgin - if you were to begin with!"

"I was, and still am!"  I protested.  Rob looked incredulous.  "I have never
been intimate with any woman!"

"OH!  It has to be a woman, eh?"  Rob was getting better at this!

Craig was uncharacteristically quiet.

"So, are you going?"  Rob said.  Craig and I looked at each other, then back
at Rob.  He was looking forward to this too much, and hip lower lip was
already showing signs of emerging.

"Yeah, we'll go!" Craig said, but he did not sound too enthused.

"Great!" Rob said, and he dropped his boxers and headed for the shower.

"Damn, he looks good!"  I said as he disappeared behind the bathroom door.
"I'm glad you said we'd go today, but I honestly thought you were thinking
of wanting to stay home by ourselves again!"

"Chris.  We need to talk."  I hated the sound of that.

"Craig?  Is something wrong?"

"I just have a really bad feeling about last night."  If he had punched me
in the stomach, it would have felt better.

"What - why?"

Was I too possessive?  Was it that I didn't reciprocate?  Did I give him too
much?   Or maybe not enough?  What could have gone wrong?

"I planned all last week for what I would do last night -"

"And everything went perfectly!  You -"

"Let me finish!"  He was really struggling.  But no more than I was!  "All
those things I did last night,"  he paused.

"Yes?"

"You're right.  It felt really good while I was doing them," he said, "But -
but -"

"But what, Sweetheart!?"  I was desperate.

"Don't CALL me that!"    Wo!  Another kick in the balls!  How could he do
this to me?

"Okay!  So let me get this straight."  I said.  I was trying my best to hold
on.  "So when I *did* you, you couldn't wait to get some more, and when you
got it, it was great!"  I as getting more irate as I spoke!  "And now that
you finally stooped to *do* me," I drawled, "Now you are having second
thoughts!  Wait a minute, Christy," I said aloud to myself! "Something seems
a little off here!"

"Chris, don't -"

"FUCK you!"  I shouted, as Rob was coming out of the bathroom.  I grabbed my
sweats and sneakers and I stormed out of the room!  My head was pounding.

I heard him calling after me, "Please!  Wait!"

I ran down to the common and hurriedly put on my clothes, and ran outside,
and just kept running until my sides were splitting.  I guess I wanted to
outrun this.  I collapsed in the still wet grass.  I was at the far side of
the campus inside the track oval.  The pounding in my brain was still there.
  My sides were throbbing.  My heart was pounding.  My problem was still
there.  I wanted to punish him for it, but only ended up punishing myself.
It was too cold to be out after a hard run, and not have anything warm to
put on.  I didn't care! I wanted to die.

I woke up in a ball.  My legs were cramped, and so was my stomach and sides.
I didn't have a watch, so I had no idea how long I had lain there.  The
grass was no longer wet, except under me.  I stretched out the cramped
areas, and somehow started walking back.  As I passed Al's dorm, I noticed
her car was gone.  Good!  They went without me.  I walked to our building.
I was coughing and wheezing all the way.  I struggled up the stairs.  I put
my key in the door and opened it.  There before me were two people, with two
distinctly different looks on their faces.

Craig's look was of total surprise and horror.  Gunt's was of triumph - and
evil glee.  Craig was on his knees in front of Gunt, between his knees,
whose pants were down to the floor, exposing his erection.  He was sitting
on my bed!

I turned around and stumbled out.  I went downstairs and out the door.  I
felt hot.  I sneezed.  I headed for the back of the building.  I looked for
some hole to crawl into.  I found some shrubs to collapse behind.

***********************************************************************************

I next woke up in the hospital.  I was covered with sweat, and was freezing,
though covered with blankets.  I was shaking violently.  Rob was standing
over me, holding down my shoulders, a sad, worried look on his face.  "Tell
the nurse he's awake."  I saw his mouth move, but the voice sounded like it
was coming from somewhere far away.  He seemed to be moving in slow motion,
as he turned toward a tall girl I thought I recognized, but couldn't be
sure.  She left the room.

"Chris."  He said.  "Chris?  CHRIS! Can you hear me?"

"Of course I can hear you," I thought, "you are yelling."  And yet the voice
was coming from somewhere else.  And I couldn't seem to get my mouth to form
the words.

It seemed like hours before a man dressed in white came in and shone a
flashlight in each of my eyes.  "There doesn't seem to be any cognizance in
there."  He said.  I saw his hand reach out and he closed my eyes.  Weird.
I had opened them once, yet now I could not open them.  I was not shaking
any more.  Way back in the far recesses of my mind, I could hear, "His fever
has finally broken.  Only time will tell, now."

*************************************************************************************

I woke up sometime later.  I was on my stomach, my face to the window.  It
was gloomy outside.  I heard myself groan, as I turned and looked the other
way.  My mom was sitting on a chair, sleeping.  I formed the words.  They
came out. "Mom?  What - what are you doing here?"

"Oh my god, he is awake, Craig!  Get the nurse!"

"Mom?"

"You have been in and out of consciousness for almost a week, dear.  We have
been taking turns sitting with you."

I was completely disoriented.  "Why - what - ?"  and then it started to come
back. The wonderful night with my sweet lover.  The warmth of his body
between my legs.  The feel of his sleeping breath on my chest.  Then the
sight of - of - !  I started to convulsing in great sobs.

"Oh, my darling," my mom said, in tears herself, "what is wrong?"

Right then Craig came through the door.  I took one look at his drawn,
tear-stained face, and turned back to the window.  I didn't want him seeing
me like this.  I didn't want him to see me at all!  And I surely didn't want
to see him!  I felt his hand on my shoulder, as he said, "Chris, please -"

I wrenched free, but would not look in his direction.

"Maybe you had better leave, Craig."  My mom said,

"but I -" he whined.

"For now?"   She insisted.

As soon as I knew he was gone, I let it go.  I started sobbing like a
four-year-old, whose mother just scolded him, and sent him to bed.  I could
not stop.  It felt somehow good to let it out, and also I felt so terrible -
so empty and hopeless.

"Whatever happened between you and Craig," my mom crooned, "I'm sure it will
not be anything in a week.  The two of you will be like -"

"You don't understand!"  I sobbed!  "You just don't understand."

"How bad could it be?  Can you tell me about it?"  She said.

Could I tell her about it?  Could I tell her about how Gunt had raped me?
Could I tell her about how Craig had loved me in such a special, physical
way?  Could I tell her the position Craig was in when I walked in on him and
Gunt?  "No, Mom.  I'm afraid I can't.  This is between me and Craig."

"Well, all I can tell you is he has not slept since you came in here.  He
has been crying on a regular basis.  I know he did not want me to see him
that way, but he was so tired from his vigil with you, he could not hold
back."

I closed my eyes and lost consciousness again.  When I woke up again. The
sun was shining brightly.  I turned away from the window.  My mom was still
in the chair.

"Why don't you go eat something, Mom?  You must be tired."  I said.

"Oh, I have been.  It's been two days since you last woke up.  You look much
better.  How do you feel?"

"I think I feel a lot better.  Where's Craig?"

"I haven't seen him since the other day when you did.  He was pretty
distraught when he left."

"Could you see if you could find him?   I really need to talk to him.."

"I'll do my best.  Maybe Rob knows."

"Rob?  Has he been here?"

"Yes.  He has been taking turns sitting with you, too. There was no real
danger after your fever broke, but we were all pretty worried.  You just
needed time to rest and to heal, the last two days."

"Will you find him - or Craig?"

"Yes dear.  Will you be alright here by yourself for awhile?"

I nodded, and she left.  About an hour and a half later, Al came into the
room.  "Hey, Trooper!"  She said.

"Hi, Al.  Do you know where Rob is?"  I said and then added, "or Craig?"

"Chris, I came because Rob can't hold himself together.  Craig went home."

"Well, can't you go over and get him?"

"You don't understand.  He went home - to Cincinnati."

It took me a few moments to grasp what she had said.  "When's he coming
back?"

"I don't think he is, Chris.  He was so devastated when he left here.  He
said that it was all a big mistake."

"I - I know - it must have been!  I know there must have been an - an
explanation for - for -"

"He wasn't talking about his mistake with Gunt."  I looked surprised that
she knew.  "He told us everything.  The mistake he was talking about was
ever thinking that he could make it in the gay world.  He said he was going
to try to put it all behind him, and- Chris - he's not coming back."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo!  This could NOT be happening!  I
felt like screaming, but I had enough control by now to keep it to myself.
My head was pounding with the suppressed anger, frustration and grief I
felt.

"You know I never ever even got his home address or phone number.  Did he
leave it with you." I asked her.

"Yes, but he made it pretty clear that he was going to try to start over."

Notes:  Yeah, I know!  I cried and cried as this chapter unraveled to me.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!  Write if you must, but don't ask me what will happen
next.  I don't know until my fingers hit the keys!    I will be out of town
for a few days.  Sorry to leave you hangin', but it could not be helped!
You, know the system: If you want to cuss me out or something, Put "Chris"
in the subject line, and send any comments to s4d@hotmail.com