Date: Tue, 12 Oct 2004 14:31:25 -0700 From: Steve Thomas Subject: Cole's dreams, Ch. 17 This is a work of pure fiction, based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of Characters: Cole Alexander Stephanson IV -- Our hero Jazz -- (Jack Zachary) Coles oldest brother Diane -- Jazz's wife Rod -- Coles middle brother Igor (Iggy) -- Cole's Tutoring Pupil Cole Alexander Stephanson III -- Coles Dad Ethyl Stephanson -- Cole's mom Rex Remlin-- Rod's best friend Gus Hartwin -- Cole's Boyfriend Michelle -- Cole's old girlfriend. Dexter -- Iggy's boyfriend Ed -- Paramedic Manolo -- Paramedic Steve -- Manolo's boyfriend Diane -- Jazz's wife Randy -- Found Boy Curtis -- Found boy's brother From Chapter 16: "I think I gave you too much alcohol. It's all my fault. I was only trying to relax you!" I turned and smiled at Jazz. "I'm relaxed! But I thought liquor made you more sexy!" "Maybe one or two drinks can loosen you up." Jazz said, "I'm afraid all I gave you did more than relax you -- it made you limp! I'm so sorry!" "Hey!" Gus said, "Hahahahahahahaha! The laugh's on YOU! Hahahahahahahaha!" With that I also started cracking up. Jazz saw the humor in it and laughed too, though he wasn't nearly as drunk as Gus and I were. We laughed ourselves to sleep. Chapter 17 When Randy told them at the shelter he was leaving, they weren't happy about it. The administration was sad to lose the money, and the other guys were probably not happy about losing a good fuck! Dad took him there the next morning after asking him to stay with us, and he didn't stay even another night at the shelter. For me, It was great to have a little brother! I loved it. He was more "experienced" than I in some things, but he was so humble most of the time and was a quick learner. When he first came, it was hard to keep ice cream in the freezer. It wasn't obvious at first, but it just seemed to keep disappearing faster than Mom could keep it stocked. Finally we realized something: At the shelter, when anything as precious as ice cream came into their midst, if you didn't get it while the getting was good, you lost out! So He was getting into it often! When he was asked about it, was the first time he cried. He was embarrassed. And soooo repentant. When told he could have as much as he wanted, but didn't need to sneak it -- he broke down and cried. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! "I just - " "It's okay Randy." Dad said, "We completely understand. But this is a good time to teach you a lesson. With all out boys, we always left some money for emergencies. It was hidden in a certain place that the family knew about. But no one ever touched it -- except for emergencies. Then when it WAS used, it was told why and then more put in its place, so it would always be there. "No one ever to my knowledge ever took any of it without telling us. Well, it's kinda the same with the ice cream. It's a trust issue. If you use the last of the ice cream -- or notice that it's getting low -- tell Mom about it. She'll get some more. Okay?" Randy still could not talk. Dad knew there was something deeper going on for him. "And Randy?" Dad added, "The emergency pot is on the bottom of the cookie jar -- not in it -- but taped to the bottom." Randy just gaped at my dad -- for about 5 seconds. Then he flung his arms around Dad's neck and hugged him. He hoarsely whispered into Dad's ear, "No one ever trusted me before!" Then he buried his face in Dad's chest. Dad looked at us with glassy eyes, while stroking Randy's head. The next Saturday Jazz and his kids were over again and he slept in our room on a cot that dad brought in until we could get a couch or something for him. Gus and I had already talked about it and decided that we didn't need to be drunk to do what he wanted. He didn't even ask, so after lights were out, we just started to kiss -- as if he wasn't there. I heard him change positions on his cot -- I assumed to watch us. It was dark, but there was enough light coming in the window for him to see. Gus threw back our covers early in the act, so Jazz would not miss anything. As we were starting to breath pretty heavily, I could hear rustling going on over on the cot. I had a pretty good idea what was happening, but I tried to focus on Gus. Gus made the first move to work his way down on me. When he got to my stomach, the rustling stopped on the other side of the room. I did hear a little exclamation, though. Gus got to my dick and his wet, warm mouth blew hot air all over it and then he started to lick my balls. I let out a small shriek, and I heard another chuckle of approval from the other side of the room. When Gus's mouth encircled my glans, my sharp intake of air and "uhh!" was followed by an audible moan from Jazz. Then the Jazz's rhythmic sound started up again as Gus started to bob and suck. I stopped him suddenly as I was coming very close. I glanced over at Jazz. He was smiling and he also stopped, but whispered, almost desperately, "Don't stop now!" "Patience, big brother!" Gus said. An almost overwhelming wave of love came over me when he said that. I loved it when he referred to my family as if it was his. I then just went for the gold. I started to suck Gus as if this might be the last time. His juice was rising fast. I could tell he was critically close when I stopped again. Jazz hoarsely whispered, "You GUYS!!" We giggled. I put a large amount of lube on him and in me and got on my back, and Gus eased into me. I looked over at Jazz. He was spellbound, staring like a deer in the headlights, his mouth open and drooling. As Gus started a regular thrusting, I closed my eyes. I was barely conscious of the continuation of Jazz's rhythmical jacking -- about twice the pace Gus was thrusting. I was close myself, but knew I wouldn't spontaneously combust with Jazz there, so I was wanking myself. I was ready to go any time, so I paced myself until Gus was at a humming pace. When I knew he was over the edge, I let loose and I could hear Jazz heaving and choking at the same time, trying to keep his noise down. Gus fell exhausted on top of me. I had tears in my eyes -- I don't know why. Just was so emotional I guess. Gus was twitching and this hit me as funny and I started to giggle. Gus did too, which got Jazzy going too. In no time at all, we were all cracking up laughing. Suddenly the door opened. The hall light was very bright -- luckily! I'm sure Dad could not see anything in our room. "Oh! You guys are laughing!" Dad said, as we all quickly covered up. "Reminds me of when you and Rod were younger, Cole. We used to yell at you to go to sleep." I could see he was smiling. "We didn't -- er -- bother you, did we, Dad?" Jazz asked. I don't think dad recognized how out-of-breath he was. Even if he did, it could have been from the laughing. "Not at all. We couldn't tell it was laughing from the other end of the house. You're mom will be pleased you are getting along so well!" He laughed and closed the door. Jazz whispered, "As long as she doesn't know exactly HOW well we were `getting along'!" He giggled and then added, "Thanks guys -- a lot! You have no idea how long it's been since I have gotten off like that." The next morning we slept in. When we ate breakfast Randy was gone. "Where's Randy?" Gus asked. "Church." Mom answered. "I didn't know church was so early." I said. "You boys always liked to sleep in when you were little." Dad said. "The Presbyterian Church always has had an early service. But He didn't go there this morning. He had me drive him to the Baptist Church. That's where most of his YFC friends go." "Oh." I said. As we were finishing breakfast, Randy walked in. Revise that. He nearly floated in. "You look pleased -- by something!" Mom said. "I met a girl at church!" "How nice." "And ... during the preacher's talk he invited anyone to come to the front. I was almost pulled by some unknown force -- out of my seat and down the aisle. I accepted Jesus as my personal Savoir. I've never felt like this before!" "That's wonderful, Honey." Mom said. "there's still some eggs and bacon on the table here, if you're still hungry." "No thanks," he said, dreamily, "I'm okay." He floated down the hall and into his room. "The Baptists?" Mom said. "Boy that's a switch! They want to regulate everything their members do. No dancing. No drinking. I don't think I am for him doing that." "He's 18, Ep." Dad said. "And we can't be telling him what to believe. And - - I think that people that have had too little positive discipline in their life - - maybe need more guidance. Maybe that's why it appeals to him so much." "Yeah. But all this stuff about `accepting Jesus as my personal Savior' stuff! That's just weird." "I don't know." Dad said. "I did it." "YOU DID??!!" Mom exclaimed. "Yeah. I too was in high school. They told me that once I accepted Christ, I was saved. And once saved, I could do whatever I pleased and Jesus would square it with the Father." "Gibberish!" Mom said. "I know. But I didn't know it then. But it didn't take me long to reason it out. Once you receive him, you have to live like you believe in him." Nothing more was said and we finished eating. Jazz's kids were all wide eyed at the whole scene, but they soon forgot about it as they played with each other in the back yard. Gus and Jazz and I went back to our bedroom and made the beds. "Man, you guys were hot last night!" Jazz said. I was hoping he wouldn't want to talk about it. "How does that kind of activity affect your eye, Cole?" That hit me out of the blue. "I -- well -- Doctor Steere told me that it was good for me -- that and running. He believes I'm over any immediate danger." "Oh." Jazz said. "So -- are you feeling normal now?" "I still get pretty tired -- you know, my eyes -- after a long day - especially when I have to do a lot of reading or studying." "And your sight? Is it still good? Is there any change?" "Nothing that I've noticed." I was lying. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt like somehow my eye strain at the end of a day was slightly worse. I didn't want to talk about it and tried to pass it off lightly. I guess it worked, because he dropped the subject. But I couldn't get it out of my mind. I determined to tell the doctor about it next time I saw him. I knew he would ask anyway, and I wouldn't lie to the doctor. In the afternoon we did run for a spell. Jazz tried to run with us, but he got tired soon after we started, and went home. I really liked running. Especially when Jazz left. I was glad he couldn't keep up. This was my private time with Gus. We didn't talk as we ran, but I could feel his love and my love for him was so strong as we ran pace for pace with each other. We napped in the afternoon. I dreamed about the night before. I dreamed that jazz was right there with us -- in a threesome. I felt out of control. I didn't like it, but felt like I couldn't control it. I woke up troubled and sad. But I looked over and Gus was smiling sweetly at me. I melted. "I decided not to wake you this time. I couldn't understand what you were saying, but it didn't seem frightful, so I let you dream." "It wasn't a good dream." I said. He accepted that. After dinner, we rented a rated-g Disney video and watched it with the kids. As we were watching, the picture seemed to get dimmer and dimmer. Suddenly all I was getting was the sound. Then it dawned on me. It wasn't the TV. The whole room went dark. I asked if there was something wrong and no one answered. I could still hear the video. I got up and felt my way to the wall and turned on the light. Nothing. "Can't anyone else see that it's dark in here. The light doesn't work!" My movements and my voice sounded as if I was under water. Suddenly it hit me! I started to cry. I had promised myself I wouldn't react this way when I finally went blind, and I was embarrassed as well as sad and panicky. I started to scream. "Cole! Wake up! Cole!" My eyes flew open. There was my whole family, looking down at me. Gus looked distraught. "Cole -- you were dreaming again. Are you - - okay?" Tears were rolling down my face. "Yeah. I'm okay. Bad dream, but -- thanks for waking me." I let out a shuddering sigh. I sat up and they un-paused the movie. Surprisingly, I hardly missed any of it. Maybe that's why they didn't make more of it. I fell asleep again, but this time I didn't dream -- that I could remember. When we went to bed, there was no hint of doing anything before sleeping. I dreamed again, though. I was really drowsy and it seemed like I was waking up. But I didn't open my eyes. I felt extremely good for some reason. Then I realized it was because there was a mouth on my dick. Silently, I started to breath harder and as I exploded, I awoke to find that it wasn't all a dream. Gus was under the covers doing me. I stroked his head. I looked over at Jazz, sawing logs. Gus came up and gave me a wet, cummy kiss. I fell asleep with him on top of me. I woke up the same way, feeling our wood both fighting to be free. I could feel his surging and mine was keeping up. It was still dark, so I knew it was not morning yet. I was relieved. I wasn't ready for morning. I was thankful our Monday class was not too early. When our alarm went off, I looked over and Jazz was already gone. Gus was turned toward the wall, but I could still smell his cummy breath. I immediately got hard. He turned and smiled. God, I never felt so much love -- for anyone! "Mornin', Cutie pie!" he said to me. "Mormin'!" I came back with. "Quite a piece o' wood you got going there!" He said grinning, looking at my crotch. "too bad we don't have time to fix it!" "You're a glutton!" I responded. "I think I owe you - - something!" "I'm just a slave to your cum!" He said laughing. "I'm a slave to your cummy breath!: I said. And I jumped on top of him and kissed his mouth. His breath was sour, and I felt like I might pass out from how strong my smell had gotten in the couple hours since he swallowed it. But I didn't, and I kissed him deep, scouring his mouth with my tongue. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! "Breakfast in ten!" My mom hollered. We raced for the shower, locked all doors and hopped in together. Okay -- my turn!" he said. I braced myself on the wall, and he gently entered me from behind. He wrapped one arm around my chest, and grabbed my pelvis with the other to steady himself. I covered his arm on my chest with my own, and braced myself with the other hand and my head against the wall. It was a very quick humping and he was done in about 45 seconds! It hurt a little, but it made my love for him so strong, and he was trying to be as gentle as he could. And he came so hard! We quickly washed, dried and hopped in to our clean clothes. I reminded Gus to brush his teeth before breakfast -- AND use some mouthwash. His breath smelled great to me, but it may not be so good for my mom! I had to wait a week and a half to see the doctor. I should have gone as soon as I noticed a change. But truthfully, I wasn't sure there was a change. But at school, I got pretty tired Monday -- our short day anyway. I tried to convince myself it was nothing. I succeeded. "Cole, I want you to come see me next time, even if you think it's nothing!" Doctor Steere told me. "No more of this crap about `I wasn't sure'. I don't know if we can do anything, but I still want to know as soon as possible." "Doc - - give to me straight. How long do you think before -- before -- I can't see any more?" He seemed to looked into my eyes for an hour! It was only momentary actually, but his pause was very heavy. Finally he said, "I don't know. Based on your past eye tests, if it keeps deteriorating as it has been, you might have another four three years -- maybe two, maybe four." "Wow!" I said. I realized I wasn't as ready for the truth as I thought. "But, Cole - - it could stop. The deterioration could at some point -- any time -- just stop and never get any worse." Then he got a far away look. "Or - - it could go all of a sudden -- at any time." My eyes got bigger and I'm sure my surprise and dismay showed. "I'm sorry, Cole. I truly hate to be the harbinger of such weighty matters, but since you asked -- I was bound to tell you -- as truthfully as I could." "It's okay. I guess we can just hope that it stops." "Yes. Hope - - and pray, Cole." I told Mom and Dad and Randy at the dinner table. Randy was very quiet. Mom asked, "did he give you any advice about the physical activity you have been doing -- it seems that I don't remember either of your brothers running as much as you do -- can that be good?" "He still thinks that getting my circulation going will be more beneficial than bad, Mom. So he again told me to keep up my exercise program." "But he really told you that you could lose your sight -- completely -- any time?" Dad asked. "That was one of the things that could happen." I said gravely. I noticed Randy looking directly at his plate. I thought any minute he would say something. He didn't After dinner, I went into our room to study. I was tired and relieved when Randy came in. "So - " he hesitated. "What is it Randy?" I asked. "You looked like you wanted to say something at the dinner table. What did you want to say?" He looked really uncomfortable. "You said the doctor told you to pray." "Yes?" I said. "Um -- what -- I mean -- do you think -- um - - do you think Jesus will listen to someone who is doing -- um -- what you are doing?" "Huh?" I said. Where did this come from. "We've been learning -- in our Sunday school and in our YFC -- that homosexuality is evil. Did you know that it is not permitted -- in the Bible?" "Oh. Is that what they're teaching you at the Baptist Church?" I asked, maybe a little too defensively. I think maybe you should go back to the Presbyterian Church. They have a much more realistic -- um -- view -- of the -- um -- subject." I really was not so sure of that. I had heard a year or more ago that they actually voted -- in the Presbyterian Church -- whether to allow gay ministers. They voted NOT to, but it seemed logical to me that if there were enough to even bring up the question and vote for it -- they must be pretty accepting. "We are taught that there is no degree of filth that can enter into God's kingdom." "Filth?" I asked, incredulously. I was standing when Randy first came in -- to stretch. I almost fell on the bed when he said that. "Randy -- c'mere." I led him to the living room. My parents were both reading in front of the TV. "Tell Dad what you just told me." I commanded. And he did. "Randy," My dad started, When you accepted Jesus, what did they tell you about your sins?" "That they were forgiven." "And what would make you lose that forgiveness?" "Nothing." "Oh?" Dad went on. "Interesting concept. Well, I'm not -- sure -- or convinced -- that what Gus and Cole are doing is all that bad. I used to think so, but -- I have maybe changed my mind on that point. But let's for argument's sake, say that it is a sin. That homosexual activity is a sin." I didn't know where Dad was going with this. He continued. "You were involved in some -- some of that activity -- weren't you?" "Yes." Randy said to the floor, turning deep red. Then he looked up quickly. "But I repented of it! And was forgiven!" "Were you forgiven, Randy?" "I think so!" he said boldly. "Do you know "The Lord's Prayer, Randy?" "Yes." "What does it say about forgiveness?" "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors?" "Yes. What does that mean?" "It means -- it means -- we are praying that Jesus will help us with our debts." "I means that we should forgive others, in order to be forgiven. It's not talking about money debts." "Okay." Randy said, no so sure of himself. "It means that to receive forgiveness, you must also forgive others." "Oh. So? I do that." "Do you forgive your dad -- for how he has treated you?" "I don't have to forgive that fuc -- I mean - - what? No! He's a -- a -- he doesn't deserve to be - " "Doesn't deserve to be? What forgiven? Did you know that Jesus also teaches that we must forgive EVERYONE? He says he will forgive whom he will, but for us it is to forgive everyone." "I could never forgive him. Unless he -- he -- asked for my forgiveness and showed me that he loves me as much as he does Curtis!" "Well, then you are under more condemnation than Cole -- if indeed he IS under condemnation. I know there are some scriptures that some people claim point to the immorality of certain acts. But homosexuality is never mentioned. But unforgiveness IS mentioned. And you know what else, Randy?" Randy looked a bit cowed. I actually felt sorry for him a little. In his defense, he was only parroting what his teachers and preachers had told him. "What?" he said timidly. "God also says `Judge not that ye be not judged'. That means that if we judge others harshly we will also be judged harshly. Ask your preacher about that, okay." "Okay." "Randy?" Dad said before he left the room. "Yes sir?" He said very much more humble than when he came into the room. "We love you -- son." "Thanks." He said, and went to his room. I was embarrassed for him and followed him into his room. "Randy?" I said, opening the door a crack. "Yeah?" He answered. "I didn't mean to embarrass you, Randy. And for the record, I really do believe that people who take sex lightly -- screw every guy or girl that they can -- are committing sin. But I am trying not to judge anyone in particular. Each person in the universe has to choose for himself -- what is right for him. But - - I could not tell you -- as well as Dad could. I hope you will forgive me for humiliating you. And I ask your forgiveness -- for doing it." He would not look at me. "Okay." He said to his wall. Back in our room: "I figured I better not say anything." Gus said. "But I heard. Man! Your parents are -- amazing!" "I know. I wonder if yours are." He looked at me and shook his head. He was not ready for that question to be answered yet. We didn't run -- or "run" at all, all week. I was too tired each day at the end of the day to even consider it. When Friday night came along, I was ready for a rest. I wanted to go directly to bed when we got home. That was not to be. When we got home, there were the usual good smells coming from the kitchen. Mom said, "We're going out for dinner." "Doesn't smell like we are!" I said hungily. "That's for Roddy, Jazz and his kids, and Randy. This is a special night -- just for your father and me -- and you and Gus." That got my attention! She turned quickly and went back to work finishing something up at the stove. "Go get ready as quickly as you can. Your father will be home soon, and we have reservations." We did as we were told. We were both wrapped in towels when Roddy came in to pee. "Scuse me! He said, obviously admiring Gus's physique. "Got a hot date with the folks tonight, huh?" "I -- um -- guess." I said. "Know why?" He asked. "Nope!" I said. "I do -- but I ain't tellin!" "Okay." I said, goading him. I knew he was bursting to tell me. He finished his pee and left the bathroom. Gus looked at me questioningly. "I have no idea." I said, shrugging. When we got out to the restaurant -- a very nice restaurant -- Dad said to order and then we would talk about why we were here. When our dinners came, Dad started talking. "Cole, we want you to know that we have tried our best to love each of our boys equally. That's not always easy, since each child -- each person is so different. But I believe we have done pretty well. I want you to know that we have talked to both your brothers about this and they agree it is the best." He paused to take a bite to eat. I was unconsciously holding my breath. I breathed and took a bite. I looked over at Gus. His mouth was hanging open, waiting for whatever might be next. "Boys -- your mom and I have been saving to take a trip abroad for our 30th anniversary coming up next June." He paused for another bite. By this time, I had put down my fork. "We had planned -- years ago -- for it to be a world tour. But with all the troubles in the world in the past couple years, our plans have changed considerably. We now have decided to put it off `til our 50th. Hopefully, by that time things will be better in the world." My mind was going wild, wondering what he was leading up to. "Boys, we want to send you two to Europe and a tour of both North and South America." Immediately I started. "Dad - - why?? Why would you do this for - " "Cole, we don't know when you will -- I mean how long you will be able to -- see these places. We want you to have the memories at least when -- when - " he stopped and bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Dad." I said. "We can't accept. I can't allow you to do that. You've been saving for too long to - " "Too late, Cole." Dad said. "The tickets have been bought in your names and are non-refundable -- special price. You leave as soon as the semester ends." "Dad!" I said frustrated. "I -- can't -- I mean -- how can we see that much? Semester break is only one week!" "Sorry boys. But this was one of those decisions we had to make for you. You can refuse I guess, but it will waste a lot of our money! We can't get it back. You're gonna have to take next semester off. The original itinerary is for 4 weeks, but you will be able to extend your stay anywhere you want to stay longer. We want you to see as much as you can - while you still can." I looked at Gus. Tears were streaming down his face. "Gus, your parents are helping too. I talked to your father. He likes the idea." "You -- you -- you -- told my dad -- about -- about - " Gus stammered. "No I didn't. I just told him that Cole needed as escort and we liked you so much we wanted to send you with Cole." Gus's shoulders slumped. He took another bite and at the same time, tears were dripping on his plate. He swallowed the bite extra hard, then looked into my mom's eyes, then my dad's. "Thank you Mom -- and Dad!" He said. "I love you both so much!" I nodded along with him. Notes: What a dream come true! There ARE at least SOME good parents out there! Please feel free to comment to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Please write "Cole" in the subject area. Thanks and Love, Steve Bottom line: Love will Rule in the end.