Date: Tue, 09 Nov 2004 09:48:39 -0800 From: Steve Thomas Subject: Coles-Dreams - chapter 19! This is a work of pure fiction, based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of Characters: Cole Alexander Stephanson IV -- Our hero Jazz -- (Jack Zachary) Coles oldest brother Diane -- Jazz's wife Rod -- Coles middle brother Igor (Iggy) -- Cole's Tutoring Pupil Cole Alexander Stephanson III -- Coles Dad Ethyl Stephanson -- Cole's mom Rex Remlin-- Rod's best friend Gus Hartwin -- Cole's Boyfriend Michelle -- Cole's old girlfriend. Dexter -- Iggy's boyfriend Ed -- Paramedic Manolo -- Paramedic Steve -- Manolo's boyfriend Diane -- Jazz's wife Randy -- Found Boy Curtis -- Found boy's brother Kian Willis -- Friend in Vancouver Nicolas Poole-- Friend in Vancouver From Chapter 18: It was obvious that Kian had only one thing on HIS mind. He ran into the bathroom and then hollered, "Hey! Look at this!" We came running. The first thing we saw was a very large tub -- enough for two -- in a huge bathroom. Then I saw it -- a TV -- in the bathroom! Cool! Then I really saw "it". I was appalled! I really think it was why Kian called for us to come in to the bathroom. Kian was naked -- like he was ready to get into the huge walk-in shower room -- with several showers on each wall. He didn't even try to cover himself up at all. I don't know that he could have! His dick hung all the way down to his knees! It must have been 12" long -- SOFT! He giggled as he noticed that I realized I was caught - staring! I wondered if this was part of the reason Nicolas -- well, anyway, I tried not to drool. Chapter 19 Kian giggled again. He walked directly to me. He lifted it up and giggled some more. "Wanna touch it?" Hee hee hee!" "Kian! What the fuck are you doing?" Nicolas said. "Oh lighten up Nicky! I'm just having some fun!" He said as he slowly stroked it. It was lengthening. It wasn't very thick, but as he played with it, it started to support itself a little. I heard Gus gasp and whisper, "O my Gosh! How did you get through high school? Didn't the other guys -- tease you?" "Tease me?" Kian said, incredulously. "Hell no! I never got any respect until I got naked in the showers. Then all the guys treated me with respect!" "Wow!" Gus said. He couldn't take his eyes off it. Neither could I!" "You KNOW you wanna touch it!" Kian said, and stepped closer to Gus. Gus looked at me and took a sharp inhale to himself. He reached out his hand. I expected him to touch it with his index finger. He wrapped his whole hand around it. Now it was Kian who took a short fast breath in, and his eyes fluttered. Then I saw Gus's hand flex. He was squeezing it. "It -- it -- it's so -- soft! Does it get harder than this?" "If it did, I couldn't take it!" Nicolas said. "But it's hard enough to do the job!" "Wo!" Gus exclaimed. "This I gotta see!" "What?!!" I exclaimed. "Really? Hee hee! You really want to see us -- um -- really?" Nicolas was standing with his mouth hanging open. Well, so was I. The only difference between us was - - he wasn't drooling! I couldn't help myself. "Look, - no!" Gus said quickly. "It's just -- just -- so -- so -- unusual. I didn't mean I WANTED to see you -- um -- actually - " Then I even surprised myself, as I interjected, "Actually I'd like to see it -- know how it works! I know that when Gus makes love to me, it hurts a little when he reached the bent part of my intestine." "That's why it's nice that he never gets that hard. It actually bends with my insides." Nicolas said. "You don't have to see that to understand." He said it with a degree of finality. "You could at least show them how talented YOU are, Nicky!" Kian said, giggling. "Talented?" Gus repeated. "Hee hee! Nicky can deep throat all of me!" "Nuh -- uh!" Gus exclaimed. Nicolas was white. He looked daggers at Kian. "Do it, Nicky -- do it! We may never get this chance again." I looked at Gus, and he looked at me. We understood exactly what each other were thinking. We both dropped out pants and started to slide our hands up and down each others' meat. Nicolas knelt on the thick bath mat and took Kian's dick head in his mouth. He sucked for a few moments, then spit it out and turned to us. "This seems kinda sick," Nicolas said, looking embarrassed, "but this is so hot -- watching you two while I do this!" He started to jack himself off while he watched us and with each swallow took Kian deeper into his mouth, until it was surely going down his throat! Then I saw it. Each time he went down on Kian, his Adam's apple bulged out. Finally, he was burying his nose in Kian's pubes as Kian's meat was thrust halfway to china! Well, halfway to Nicolas's stomach, anyway! As he picked up speed -- both his head and his hand on himself -- Gus and I seemed to automatically keep pace. I came first. My moans seemed to put Gus over the edge, and then Kian started to gasp, and buck his hips. I watched as his bucking sent Nicolas over the edge and ribbons of white jizz flew out the end of his dick and all over the thick rug on the floor! I shuddered, as the last of my spunk dribbled out of me, being frothed up by Gus's smooth hand motions. As for mine, my hand was rather jerky on Gus's meat, and his head was spasming to the rhythm of my jerking. His tongue was kind of sticking out, so I sucked on it. From the corner of my eye, I could see that Kian and Nicolas were into a deep kiss too. I guess Nicolas got over his discomfort. "Wow!" Nicolas said. "I -- I -- didn't ever think -- Man! That was hot!" He collapsed on the floor, then said, "Are you sure you guys have to leave tomorrow?" "We don't HAVE to," I said. But my parents -- this is kinda expensive for them -- each day we are gone, we - " "You're covered as long as you stay here. My dad's paying, remember?" Nicolas said. "We can't take advantage - " "It's a total tax write off for him. He does this kind of thing all the time. Please stay! We can show you around!" Nicolas begged. "Yes, Please stay!" said Kian. He looked like a porn movie ad. He was standing half bent over, his long hanging meat dripping cum. His mouth was hanging half open, and his tongue was just showing. His eyes were half closed. I felt my meat surge to life again. Gus grinned. "Are you sure it's okay?" I asked. "I mean -- with you, Nicolas?" "Dude! DUH! Kian and I have never gotten to stay together before. And -- you guys are so cool!" I looked at Gus. "Two days?" I said He just gave me the "Don't look at me, I'm just along for the ride" look. Then chuckled. "There's so much to see!" Nicolas said. "We'll be your tour guides! First stop will be Buchart Gardens. It's better later in the spring, but it's still nice. HEY! You should come back later!" "Yes! Pleeze pleeze pleeze pleeze pleeze! Come back!" Kian echoed. I shook my head. Not no, but just like as it to say, "I don't believe this!" But I said, "I don't know -- we do have to go back to school sometime." "But you said you were taking the whole semester off - - right?" Kian said. "Just think about it, guys!" He strode over to his pants and flipped out his phone. "Dad? Yeah, it's me. Hey -- tell mom -- no! ASK mom if we can have our friends over tomorrow night for dinner. Yeah Sure!" He put his hand over the phone. "I know my folks are gonna love you guys! Do you mind if we tell them your story?" He was looking at me. "Oh! Yeah!" he said into the phone. "Great! Seven sharp! Thanks! Love you too!" "Hey!" I said. I laughed. "What happened to your head ache, Gus?" "Oh! I guess it's gone! Guess it's too late to go out to that bar!" "Actually it's not! But trust me: this party is a lot better than anything we would find anywhere else!" Said Nicolas. "This is all very -- um -- cool -- er -- kind -- of your parents -- and all." I said. "Are you sure they won't suspect -- um -- us -- um -- I mean, I have been told that -- well, I -- um -- I don't feel like a fem, but -- uh -- I have told a few people -- about me -- and they are never surprised! I don't wanna spoil your deal here." "You won't! They really are clueless!" "Okay, but Nick -- can I call you Nick?" "I wish you would! I just don't care much for Nicky!" Kian stuck his tongue out at Nick. He ignored it. His phone rang. He looked at it. "Yeah?" He said. "Oh! I don't -- wait a minute." He looked at the rest of us. "My mom wants us to all come for breakfast tomorrow morning. Okay with you?" We both shrugged. "Okay, Mom. Sure! That's why I love you, Mommy!" He hung up the phone. "She wants us there bright and early -- 11:00 AM sharp!" "Kewl!" Kian said. "Hey, let's go down to that cool hot tub down by the pool!" "That sounds good to me. My headache is gone, but man is my back sore." "How's you nose feel?" I asked. "I think the anesthesia is wearing off. I may need to take some of that heavy duty stuff the doctor gave me." We got our bathing suits on, while Nick took Kian down to one of the shops and bought them both swim suits. They came back and changed. Nick's was dark gray boxer type. Kian's were a pair of knee highs -- for obvious reasons. Guess he could never wear a Speedo! We were the only ones down there. A waiter came by and asked if we wanted a drink. "Soda for me!" I said Gus nodded. "Soda's around!" Nick said. Kian frowned. "Charge them to penthouse 3A." He took our order. After he left, Nick said to Kian, "No, not even here!" He looked at us. "Kian's alcohol intolerant. He almost blew our cover last time he drank." Kian pouted. When we were finished, we went back up to our room. Gus was not feeling too well, so we just went to our separate rooms and went to bed. Even though he didn't feel good, we still couldn't help getting excited as we listened to Kian and Nick. First they argued, then they made up. Then they made out and it all ended with a lot of moaning and crying out. I wondered who was doing which. I looked over and Gus was asleep. I was aware of more crying, but this time it wasn't crying out as much as just plain crying. I figured It was another of my dreams, but then I woke up. I had many times woken up to find that I was only dreaming that I woke up. I had learned to actually wake myself up after a few times that I dreamed I went to the bathroom -- but didn't. Well, I DID urinate -- on myself and my bed! But I didn't wake myself up when I didn't have to pee. Even if it was a wet dream, I kept sleeping. Something about this crying disturbed me. My eyes popped open. I suspected the crying would stop. Then I heard it again. I looked over and Gus was sitting on the bed and rocking, crying ever so softly. "Gus, baby! What's wrong?" I said. I had never called him Baby before, but it just came out that way. "Oh God this hurts!" "Your nose?" I asked. I wanted to cry! "You -- know -- where -- that -- stuff -- is?" He said. I sprang from the bed and ran to his pants and got out the prescription. I read the instructions. "One to two tablets every four hours" "How many did you take earlier, Gus?" "One." I got two out and got him some water. He took them without question. Then he laid down again -- in a fetal position. "What can I do?" I asked. "Hold -- me." He answered. I wrapped myself around him and did as I was asked. I cried with him until we were both asleep. As I was falling asleep, I noticed he was hot. But I kept holding him. When I woke up, we were on opposite sides of the bed. He was on his back, and breathing normally. I saw that the windows, though heavily draped, were letting in some bright light around the edges. As I woke up more, I glanced at the clock. 9:30. 9:30!! I didn't even think about it. I ran into Nick and Kian's room, to see Kian slipping his (MUST have been 14" hard) meat in and out of Nick's ass. Nick had a glazed look on his face -- like he was concentrating very hard. Kian glanced over at me, but never lost a stroke. He smiled and kept thrusting in and back out. I was frozen in place as I stood there and just gawked. It was not fast. It was too deep and too long to do it fast. As he got all the way out, he would thrust quickly back in about 6 -- 7 inches and almost stop, then push the rest of it in -- easily another 6"! Nick would mouth breath heavily as he pusked it all the way up to the hilt. I could see in my mind what they had told me last night in the bathroom. He pushed it in until it hit the bend, then slowed down and pushed it past and up further. I couldn't tell if Nick was really enjoying it, but I had to believe there was some reason he let it happen. Then I saw a change in Kian's expression. He got much more intense and stopped bringing it all the way out. He moved much faster, and it was obvious he was close. Nick's eyes lost their glaze and he started to take gasping breaths. Then Kian started to cry out -- as he did last night. I saw Nicks eyes fill with tears and his hips started to rhythmically buck with each thrust. Then ribbons of spunk flew out of Nicks dick cumming all over both boys' stomachs and chests, as they both cried out together in high pitched cries and moans. Kian fell exhausted on top of Nick, still deeply impaled within him. I don't think Nick even knew I was there all that time. But Kian rested his head on Nick's chest and he smiled proudly at me. It was then I noticed that my dick was sticking straight out of my pajamas and my hand was slowly stroking it. I blushed and stepped out into the living room. Then I made some noise, and said, "Guys? Do you know what time it is?" "Mm-hm." Nick said breathlessly. "We'll be with you in a bit. Gotta shower. It's cool, my parents are only ten minutes away. I went back to wake up Gus. "Were you in there?" He said, almost accusingly. "Well, - heh -- not as a participant!" "Geez, Cole! Even after last night, I am surprised Nicolas let you - " "ShhH!" I shushed. "Nick didn't know. I kinda walked into it unawares. Kian knew!" "Figures." He said disgustedly "Aw, don't be so hard on him." I said. "He's such a dildo!" "That's not nice!" I admonished. "Why does he have to act like that?" "Like what?: I said, as if I didn't understand. "So giddy and so -- so - " "Fem?" "YES! I hate that!" "You `macho' football types! Gus, just because someone is not exactly like you -- or maybe not as `manly' as you are! What do you suppose most of your football pals would think if they knew you and I regularly kiss -- and suck -- and fuck! And not only that, you did it also with super-star Rex! Would they think that was cool?" "But - " "Would they be cool with that? Are you cool with it? Or are you ashamed?" "I -- I -- I - " His eyes filled with tears. He whispered something. I sat down next to him. "What, Baby?" I said it again. I was surprised it came out of my mouth. He whispered hoarsely, "I wish I wasn't this way!" Then he quickly looked into my eyes. "Oh no! Cole! I love you1 I don't wish that we were not - " He dropped his head and shook it, squeezing out a few tears that fell on his pillow. "Can't you understand -- how I feel?" He said to the pillow. "Of course I do!" I said. His head snapped up so hard, that he winced from the pain that caused his neck and nose. "I know exactly how you feel. That's why we can't be judgmental in the least of those who are more fem than we are -- or maybe even those who feel so despised by the world that they feel they and their friends have to attack a lone boy to make them feel more powerful." Gus frowned. Then his frown melted. "Do you mean that those guys who attacked me -- that they should not be punished?" "Fuck no!" I said. "Sorry. Heck no! They SHOULD be. But I can still sympathize with the circumstances that put them where they are today. We are so lucky to have what we have. Gus, lets try not to make fun of others who are -- different than we are." "Okay. I see your point. It's still not easy -- when he starts giggling like a girl." "Well, think of it this way: Nick has to put up with it all the time! It's only a couple days for us! Here -- let me help you get dressed. God knows you will probably do it plenty for me in the coming years!" I was surprised after all I had said, that came out as bitterly as it did. I helped him get his shirt and pants on. It was hard for him to move his neck, and of course I had to be careful about touching his nose. Nick lived in not so much a mansion -- as a palace! It must have been on ten acres. The main house was the size of a city block! Our penthouse suite was fancier -- but not much! The breakfast was set out as a buffet. There were other guests there. It was almost like a hotel. We nodded politely to the others. When we came in, we were introduced to Nick's parents. Hello, Gus. Hello Cole. How nice of you to join us for brunch. Hello, Kian!" She almost spit out that last hello. It was obvious she didn't approve of her son's choice of friends -- or at least that friend. After eating a large breakfast, I had to go to the bathroom. I was shown to it by Nick's father. I was surprised when he followed me in. And locked the door behind us! I was getting worried, when he said, "So - - how does the world treat a gay couple?" "Wha -- at?" I stammered. "Cole, we are well aware of our son's sexual preference. Is it hard living as a homosexual?" I said nothing. It was all I could do to get my pee flowing. "Oh, I'm sorry, Cole. But please -- I don't care that you are gay. I could tell the way you and Gus look at each other -- your not mere brothers!" I was too dumbstruck to say anything. I just knew that Nick didn't want his dad to know. "Cole, I know about our son. I am a little at odds at how to tell him I know. I mean I don't want to put him on the defensive. The only thing we don't exactly approve of is -- Kian! He is sure to give away Nicolas's secret. In this business, you just can't let the general public know about this sort of thing. Kian is a dead giveaway! "What -- what -- why -- are you -- um -- telling me this?" Was all I could come up with. I didn't know if he was probing or what. "I want to tell Nicolas that I know, but I don't know how." He reiterated. "So -- you -- think -- your son is -- um -- gay." I started. My mouth was dryer than it had ever been. "Well, in that case, I think it would be fine if you told him how you feel." "It's not just a feeling, Cole." He said to me as if I was his lost best friend. "I know it!" "I didn't mean that sir." I said. "If you feel okay with it, he deserves to know. If he is -- gay -- then he deserves to know -- if you feel okay with it -- or - " I was sweating. I had not really admitted anything about any of us - yet. "How do your parents feel about your sexual choice?" "They are fine with it?!" I said indignantly. Oops! Did I just admit something? I did! "Sir, in the first place, my parents are -- fine with it! Of course they wish I wasn't gay! Even I wish that I wasn't gay. But the fact is -- I am! And if you suspect that your son is, then you should tell him and save him the -- the -- the pain that he is -- er -- could be -- going through!" "You're a good friend, Cole! How could you love my son so much? Didn't you just meet yesterday?" "I have been taught to love everyone, sir." I said. I didn't love this situation much! "Please call me Howard, Cole. I think that we shall see more of you in the future!" "Thanks -- Howard. Actually I don't even know your last name anyway." "Poole. Howard Poole. He offered his had. I turned and washed mine. Then I dried them and said, "Nice to meet you Mr. Poole -- Howard! Please tell Nick soon how you feel!" I was surprised by my own fervor. "Um -- how DO you feel?" "Nicolas is my only son, Cole. How do you think I'd feel? But I know he can't help being the way - - the way he is. I'm trying to come to terms with all that implies. It's hard. But, being a bottom line guy, the thing that I know is I love my son, and I want his happiness." "Mr. -- er -- Howard, TELL him that. He is a strong, cool guy. He can take it. Did you know he's actually afraid of letting you know about himself? Is that what you want?" "No. It's just hard to -- to -- approach that subject." "Well, if it's hard for you - - it's harder for Nick!" "Thank you, Cole." He looked awkward like he wanted to say or do something more. "Oh!" I added, "And - - hug him!" "We don't hug. Hmph! Maybe that's part of the problem. How the fu - - how do you hug a man?" "Kinda like you hug a woman, I guess." I answered, and I beckoned to him with my arms. He stepped into my embrace -- with his shoulders only. It was the old a-frame hug. "You don't hug anyone you LOVE like that, Howard." I said and I pulled his back close to me, until our fronts were touching. He was stiff as a board. "This just doesn't feel right!" He said, as he tried to wiggle away. "I know!" I answered. "Stop fighting it, sir. Give in to it and soften up your body." I was surprised as he pulled me in to a full body embrace. I lay my head on his chest and said, "Hug your son like this. And don't let him take any less!" I stepped back. I added, "and Howard -- I think you'll find that in business -- no one cares!" "Oh, they care, all right!" When we came back to the dining room, no one really even knew we were gone -- except Gus. He gave me a questioning look. I smirked and winked at him. If Howard was a bottom line guy, he was also a don't-waste-any-time guy. He walked straight to Nick and Kian. Howard and Nick left the room. I quickly and quietly told Gus what conspired in the bathroom. When Howard and Nick reappeared, they were both red-eyed and Howard's arm was around Nick. They both looked straight at me and smiled and mouthed "thank you!" to me. Gus saw it too. The rest of the folks there -- friends and business associates alike -- had no idea what a momentous occurrence just happened. They walked straight to Kian. Their backs were to us, but we could see Kian as his eyes got huge, and then in a very effeminate gesture, his hand went up to his mouth. He actually did a 360 on his toes, ending up spread eagle with his arms and hands out. He started to make a move toward Howard, but Howard's hand shot out and stopped him in his tracks! Gus said, under his breath, "O my God!", shaking his head. Kian seriously looked like Jack from Will and Grace! Then Howard did something that got everyone's attention. "AHEM!" He wanted to make sure everyone was attentive. "I have an announcement to make!" I looked at Gus. He looked almost as panicky as I felt. Both out mouths were dropped and gaping. People stopped eating, turned from the buffet table and gave their attention to Howard. "I have what I think may be momentous news. First of all I want to thank all of you -- our friends. You know how much trust and pride I have in my son. We have just come to an understanding which may change the face of our business. We will still provide the same excellent service that everyone has come to expect from us, but as of this morning, I am putting my son, Nicolas, in charge of marketing and sales." I felt an instant cooling wave of relief sweep over me. Applause broke out. There must have been 45 -- 50 people there. I was guessing that most were business associates. I tried to study as many faces as I could. It appeared to me that most were truly pleased by this announcement. I KNOW I was! I looked at Gus. I could tell that he wanted to squeeze my hand as much as I wanted to his! But with all these people, it wouldn't have been cool. We stepped out on to the veranda adjacent to the dining room. We walked out of view of the room. I grabbed his hand. "Oh -- MY -- GOD!" Gus said. "I was SURE that Mr. Poole was going to out him right there in front of all those people!" "I know! I was really nervous for Nick!" "YOU!" An accusing voice behind us said. I twisted around and aw Nick coming toward us, with Kian close behind. "You're lucky that turned out so well! I guess I can't be angry, but - - how could you be sure that telling my dad about us would turn out this -- this -- good?" "Your dad tricked me." I said embarrassedly. He came at me point blank. I tried to act innocent and as if I didn't know what he was talking about, but when he told me that he knew I was in love with Gus - - I couldn't lie. I'm sorry!" "Sorry?" Nick said. "I owe you something -- something besides mere gratitude. Apparently my gayness has been like a huge elephant in the room that everyone ignores -- or tries to! I was soooo in denial that my parents could possibly guess that I'm gay. Turns out -- they have known almost longer than I have! My God, Cole, he hugged me! Not only that, he hugged me like he was trying to make up for 20 years. He told me he -- well, he said he couldn't express how much he loves me, then he hugged me closer -- haha -- as if he could hug me close enough I would know. Well, anyway, I got it!" "I'm -- um -- glad it worked out so well." I said humbly. Before I knew it, Nick had his arms wound around my back and he pulled me in to a death-grip hug. He clutched my head to his chest. "I suppose he would have told me eventually, but -- but -- Cole, this is the sweetest day in my life -- and it was made sweeter by a guy who two days ago I didn't know existed!" He let me go. Kian swept past him to take his turn with me. Nick saved me! He grabbed Kian and pulled him back. "Here's the deal, DUDE!" Nick said to Kian. "My parents barely put up with you. I want someone that my parents can -- well, if not love, at least respect. And not only my parents! You embarrass me every time we go out into public!" Kian sniffed and then pouted. "Kee, you're going to have to make some serious -- and immediate changes -- if you are going to stay with me! Cut the crap. Stop pouting, Dammit! You're not a little boy!" I was embarrassed, but also glad that Nick was making a stand. Kian turned away form all of us, folding his arms. "You won't find anyone else with a - " "Kian, your dick is amazing, but it is not you! Ever since you matured -- sexually -- your dick has been your main identification. You want to know something, Dude? I am probably the only person in the world to really know that boy behind the dick! No one knows how sweet you are. No one knows how intelligent you are. No one but me knows how passionate you are and how much you can love. But you know what else?" "What?" Kian whined to the veranda floor. "It would break my heart to lose you. Not to lose your dick, dickhead! To lose YOU! I love you -- for some unreasonable reason -- more than I can understand." Kian's back was still to us. But he turned his head and there was a slight smirk on his face. "But, Kian -- I will walk away from you -- if you don't make a huge effort to act like a man!" "What if `manly Kian' doesn't appeal to you?" He whined. I looked at Gus, my eyes looking up to the sky. We were both trying to act like the fly on the wall. "We'll have to risk that! And by the way - - I knew you were showing off for Cole this morning! I pretended not to know because I was too embarrassed to acknowledge he was standing there!" Now I felt rebuked! As if he were reading my mind, Nick said quickly to me, "Don't sweat it, Cole. I don't blame you for being mesmerized by what you saw. His dick is amazing!" Then he turned back to Kian. "But it's an anomaly that you get used to, Kian, so don't think that `it' will save your ass! I don't love your dick. I love you! And dammit, I still don't think you get that!" Kian at last looked repentant -- and embarrassed. He didn't say anything for a few moments. Then he cleared his voice and said, barely audibly, "Ill try." "That's all I want -- for now." Nick said. "But Nicky, I - " That brought a deep scowl from Nick. "Okay. Nicolas! Um -- I'm not sure I can do it -- on my own. You have to help me." "You know I will, Kee! If you try, I will do all I can to -- remind you." "and - - teach me!" Kian added. "Now, I think you were going to show Cole some gratitude." Kian sheepishly approached me, his right arm and hand extended. I glanced at Nick. He smiled and nodded. I grabbed Kian's hand and shook it - and pulled him toward me, and then into a close hug. His body was stiff. "Thanks!" He whispered in my ear, and quickly backed off. He shot a fast glance at Nick. "See how nice it is when you know someone else offers it, rather than when you take it from them?" Nick said. "Actually, I was hoping for a little more warmth!" I quipped. Kian looked at Nick, as if for permission. Nick -- for the first time -- giggled! Kian came back and gave me a warm, soft hug. Then without asking for permission, he offered his hand to Gus. Gus pretty much aped what he'd seen me do. This time it was obvious that Kian was into it. He hugged Gus so very tenderly, then said, "How's your nose, bud?" His voice wasn't high. It was the first time I had ever heard him speak without sounding more like a girl than a guy. "I don't know -- probably scarred for life." Gus chuckled. "I think that most of the muscles in my body are aching, including a few I didn't even know I had! But I feel like this morning I have witnessed a miracle almost. I hope that Cole loves me half as much as Nicolas does you! And I hope you realize,too." "I think I'm beginning to." Then he turned to Nick. "Nicolas, I never knew -- never even imagined -- what a jerk I have been. It was always about me! I have felt so lucky to have you -- but it still was about me." It was amazing to listen to him. I have to agree with Gus. A miracle is definitely a possibility. Here was a completely different voice coming out of this guy. A lower pitched calmer voice. We walked back into the house. Several people converged on Nick. They shook his hand and congratulated him. One particularly pushy woman smiled too sweetly, and said loudly, "Congratulations, Nicky! I suppose you may be finding positions for your friends!" It was obvious she was referring to the other three of us. With a smile to equal hers, Gus replied sweetly, "Maybe one, at least!" She was the last to congratulate him. As she got out of earshot, Nick said, "Bitch!" "She -- and others like her -- are the reason we have to keep this thing low profile!" Nick jumped a little. "Dad!" He exclaimed. I didn't see you!" "I know. It's a good idea to know where you are and what -- and who -- is around you." "Yeah. Sorry, Dad." "I know. But sorry won't get it if a client hears something like that. They will immediately assume you talk the same about them too -- when their back is turned." "You're right, Dad." Nick looked chagrinned. "Good. Then we can all do our best to try to be discreet." He was looking directly at Kian when he said that. "Cool!" He said, and he walked away. In a short time the other guests went their way. Gus and I, and Nick and Kian were sitting at a table talking when Nick's dad strolled over to us. No, strike that. I don't think Howard would ever stroll! He strode to us, obviously with a purpose. "What do you guys have planned for today?" Howard asked. "We were just talking about that. We're thinking of either going to the Buchart Gardens or driving over to Pacific Rim. What do you suggest, Dad?" "I have already talked to Jack." Nick's eyes widened. "He can have the bird warmed up and buzzing by the time you get there. How would you feel about going up to the glacier? It's only an hour and a half each way. And it will be better to see Buchart OR Pacific Rim Park later -- when these boys come back!" Both Gus and I were out to sea on this conversation. I'm sure it showed on our faces. We had no idea what Howard was talking about. Apparently Kian was not so afflicted. He seemed to be taking it all in -- and understanding what Howard was saying. Oh! That's not to say he wasn't afflicted. He was pasty white and looked a little sick. "Th -- th- that s-s-sounds like fun!" Kian said. "I -- um -- I think I'll pass though on the helicopter thing. But you guys go. It'll probably be great -- fun -- for you! "No." Said Nick. "I won't go without you, babe. We'll just choose plan B or C." "Awww, Nicky! Er -- Nicolas! Don't spoil their fun because of me! You know I can't take a helicopter ride." "Kian, the only other time you went up with me was after you had way too much to drink. Try it sober for once!" "You really want me to die?"" Kian said. "You're not gonna die! The worst that could happen is that you might get sick and throw up. The best might be that once you get over your fear -- and maybe throw up! -- you may find you like it! I'd really appreciate it -- if you went." Kian looked nervously from face to face, then lastly into Nick's eye. "If that's what you want Nick-o-las." Notes: It is never easy to come out. It isn't even always best. Don't let anyone else cajole or shame you in to dong something you are not ready for. Please comment if you feel like it. Put "Cole" on the subject line and sent it to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve Bottom line: Love will Rule in the end.