Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:57:15 -0500 From: Jake Toksmer Subject: College and Grad School 2 Sorry there's no sex this time either... I seem to be writing slower than I expected and putting in a lot more detail than I had originally planned. Next time, I promise... Chapter 2: Things Change Jeremy was constantly coming up to Dave's and my room. We didn't mind - like I said, we always had our door open. Anyway, he'd come up to watch tv, share pizza, play video games, get a gym/running partner... all the usual stuff. It was nice having him around, but it really tore me up to look at him each time he came in and wish I could rip off that shirt and passionately kiss him. I know he had noticed my body. We shared some workout routines we did and kind of encouraged one another. Based on how he responded to my compliments about how he looked, he wasn't used to getting that. I was inhibition-free when it came to complimenting someone else's body, and with Jeremy, those compliments surely flowed. He had eventually grown comfortable with hanging out in our room when he wasn't wearing a shirt, or jeans for that matter. He'd come up in just his boxers and sit for a while, sometimes hours. This didn't faze Dave a bit; he - and the rest of my friends, for that matter - was already used to me lacking a shirt or pants, hanging out just in my underwear (and I didn't own boxers - always have worn briefs or trunks). Anyway, I kept enjoying the eye candy yet yearning for something to happen. Anything, really. But I did pretty much give up the hope of anything happening between us, even though he and his girlfriend had broken up (as Dave and I predicted, since it was long-distance and she was still in high school). About six weeks went by and nothing had happened, and almost like clockwork he came upstairs one afternoon to ask Dave and I if we wanted to go to dinner. Dave was on his way out the door for some meeting, but I said I could go after I took a shower (I had just come back from kicking the soccer ball around with some friends out on the soccer field). He said that was cool, he had to run to the post office and check his mail. We agreed to be ready to go in twenty minutes and he took off. I showered, got dressed, and sat down waiting for him to come back by my room. And I sat. And sat. And sat. After about thirty minutes after he should have been back, I went downstairs to his room. It was slightly ajar and I walked in, calling out and asking him if he was ready. His room was oddly shaped - a small hallway led from the door to the room, so I had to walk about ten feet before I turned the corner into his main living area. He was sitting in his chair, crying. "Oh my God, what's wrong??" I more or less shouted as I ran over and pulled him out of the chair and embraced him. I just hugged him close to me and he started bawling again. This was not what I wanted to happen - this was not how I wanted to get close to him, but he certainly needed comforting, and that's all I could do. He put his arms around me as I held him, shuddering from crying so much. I kissed him lightly on the top of his forehead and just kept holding him. It was a good ten minutes more before he had calmed down enough and was breathing normally again. He sobbed a bit, pulled back, blew his nose, and sat on the floor. I sat next to him and put my arm around his shoulders and sat there. Dinner could wait. It had to have been 30 minutes or so when he finally started talking. He said he had gone down to get his mail and found a letter from his ex-girlfriend's mother. She had written to tell him that regardless of the break-up between him and her daughter, he'd always be welcome at their house and he's a great person and how much she always liked him. It had really upset him because it meant that his ex-girlfriend had told her mom the break-up was her fault, although, he said, it was entirely his. "She's really sweet, and really pretty. But I couldn't keep dating her. It just wasn't right," he said. He teared up a little and said, "She was so mad when I broke up with her. I just knew it was going to be this terrible thing; that she was going to tell everyone everything and I didn't know what to do... I, just, I... I don't know..." "Don't worry about it, Jeremy...everything's going to be okay..." I said. "No, it's not. I just don't know what to do. I... I..." and he started to tear up again. "Shh. It's going to be okay." He nodded, got up, and grabbed a Kleenex to blow his nose. He went down the hall to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, trying to make it look as though he hadn't been crying for ages. He didn't succeed very well, but as it was a good long walk to where we were eating, he said he'd probably look pretty normal by the time we got there. I told him we could wait, or go someplace else, or order something in, but he wanted to get out and walk around. We walked across campus, ran into some of my friends, and had a nice normal dinner. He looked fine by the time we got there and I didn't worry about how upset he had been. We walked back towards our dorm and everything was cool. He was back in his cheerful mood and I asked him if he wanted to come up and watch some tv with me and Dave, but he said he'd rather spend some time by himself. I said that was fine, walked him to his dorm room, and he turned around and hugged me. It was a big, full-on hug and he just said, "Thanks." "Don't worry about it - anytime you need to talk or anything, just let me know. I'm here..." I said. He thanked me again, and went into his room. I went upstairs and started watching the Simpsons. I think there were two episodes on because that's all I remember being on tv for what felt like a long time. Anyway, after almost an hour the phone rang. It was Jeremy, asking me if I'd come downstairs. He wanted to talk. I thought it was odd he had called, but went downstairs to his room. I went inside and sat down on the floor next to him. He said he didn't come upstairs because he didn't want Dave to hear what he had to say. I pretty much knew what was coming, but let him go at his own pace - this wasn't something to be rushed. He said he had broken up with his ex-girlfriend because he was gay. He had been fighting it since before he came to college, but since he had arrived it had been hard for him to fight it any more. "I see all these hot guys everywhere... and you! There are lots of times when I go upstairs hoping you're going to be sitting there in your underwear watching tv," he said, and half-giggled as it was how he more often than not found me. What was going through my mind at this point! Wow! Not only was this guy I'd been lusting after coming out to me, but he was also telling me he was attracted to me, too - well, at least attracted to my body. But he went on, as many of us have done when we've come out to someone: "I won't come upstairs anymore... I know you don't want to be hanging aroun-" I kissed him. I wasn't going to let him finish that statement, because it was immaterial. I kissed him for what seemed like ages, until we finally came up for air. He stared at me for a couple of seconds, and then said, "What the hell?" I laughed. I told him I had been slightly (well, more than slightly) infatuated with him since school began, but when he had said he had a girlfriend I had backed off. I didn't want him to feel awkward and had tried to put it out of my mind because I valued his friendship, but that I had thought a lot about him and kissing him and holding him. I neglected to say I had thought about having sex with him - didn't want to scare him off too quickly, right? I told him not to worry about anything. "I said everything was going to be okay, remember?" He looked really relieved and really happy. The gorgeous smile he had showed itself and I kissed him again, more passionately. But we didn't keep this up for long. We heard his foreigner roommate messing with the key in the door, and I stood up to leave. His roommate came in and I wished Jeremy a good night. He walked me to the door down that little hallway and gave me a quick peck as I left. I went upstairs to my room, elated that I had kissed this gorgeous guy. I walked into my room and crashed into my chair, beaming the whole time. Dave wasn't back yet and I could just sit back and dream about what had just happened. Before long I decided to go take a shower, specifically so I could jack off before my roommate got back. I went down the hall, thought about what had just occurred and what I wanted to do, and before long I was rock solid and jacking off. I came pretty quickly and finished up my shower, going back to my room. Dave had come back and was studying. I put on some underwear and pajama bottoms started working on one of my assignments. It was all I could do to read that book without my thoughts wandering to Jeremy. When I went to bed a couple hours later, my dreams were very, very pleasant.