Date: Sun, 28 Mar 1999 20:32:38 EST From: WriterGray@aol.com Subject: College Dreams/Twisted Emotions Ok all, this is an erotic story of a M/M relations if you have no desire for such things then Do Not Read This! If you are under 18 or live in a state where you are not allowed to view this these kinds of materials Do Not Read This! These materials are under copyright please do not post or copy these materials elsewhere without the expressed written permission of the author. Well, please remember writing me can be a good thing and will help me write more if you do I will respond. Thanks for reading. I would also like to thank my new editor and current co-author of BSB-Magic for all his encouragement lately it has been needed. Thank you Buddy! College Dreams/Twisted Emotions By Grayson S. Vellar College life has to be the most unique experience you can ever go through in your life. First you apply to as many schools as you can. Then comes the waiting game, followed by interviews and sales pitches if you're lucky. All schools do it but not all have the best approach. I was not so lucky to go through all of that but being that I am not a jock or a specialist in some field were I would be hounded was all the better for me. To many of my friend however it was like Christmas and the Circus all wrap together in a twisted package of money and desire. The desire of course to go to the best schools and the money you would spend to get there and stay. My friends and I were of course at opposite end of the same game I was the one who got in on a scholarship for English studies. They all got in on sporting accommodations and acclamations. I was amazed to find myself suddenly separate from a core group I had grown to feel close to. Until High School I had been the outcast then suddenly hero was made of me when I began to tutor several of the team player. It did not matter which sport or team they belonged too, as long as I was there to help I was the one they came to. I was not anyone you would call a book worm however I just happened to be the guy who did not have to study because it came naturally to me. Thursday: The first day... As I entered my dorm room for the first time the only wish I had was to get unpacked and get my introductions done with. Unfortunately for me it was to be impossible to fulfill my second half of that wish. My roommate had been suddenly changed from George Marquise to someone not yet known. I had not been told as of yet who it would be as the previous days list was now null and void due to some miss-management that had caused confusion in assigning rooms. Go figure I show up first day and there are already problem and to make matter worse I had no friends that I knew of coming to this hell hole. I was already off to a bad start and was not looking forwards to the next day. I of course was on time and had taken a few extra days to prepare myself for school life as I was not to start actual classes until the following Monday. As I unpacked I was suddenly aware I had forgotten some things back home. Living only 30 minutes away was a god sent. I could go to my parent anytime to get away. But, on the other hand I really needed to stay away to have all the freedom I could take. So, I gathered up my book-bag, which really never was far away from me and headed for home. As I got to my parent's house they were surprised to find me home so quickly. My mother was the first to greet me as I came in with her whit in full evolution. "Moving home already? What did they find out about you?" She sneered as I took note she had been drinking again. "Margrette! Knock it off. What did he do to you?" My dad the ever present hero. "I came to pick up some more of my things. I'll only be a minute." I felt as if I was wining like a little boy. As I headed up the stares and into my room I sighed to myself she was being serious and my father had no idea. If they found out at school who I was they would certainly run me off campus. I was scarred in the first place of going and had told my mother the truth about me only 3 night previous to my leaving. Of course she wanted me to tell my father but I couldn't. Suddenly my bedroom door began to creek as it slowly opened behind me. I was startled when I turned and saw my father standing there with tears in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me. Am I really so insensitive you couldn't trust me to be your father after all these years. John I love you. You're my son no matter what you know that." He stood motionless at my door as I quickly recognized the fact my mother had told him. "Dad, I was not actually planning on telling Mother when I did. I asked her not tell you I wanted to tell you I just didn't know how." I sat down on my bed as he closed the door and walked over to set next to me. "You know just because your gay does not make you any less my son. Your mother is in a foul mood her little boy suddenly is going away and likes other little boys. She told me that just before I left for work on Tuesday, it has been so hard to just wait. I couldn't do it anymore." He said, as he hugged me to him. I began to relax and let all my anxiety go, as the tears of rejection floated away and tears of joy took their place. "Dad, what am I going to do? If I hide and anyone finds out I take a chance in being hurt by many. If I am honest and tell people openly I take a chance in being shunned of pure acceptance. I am so confused." I said, as I leaned against him. "Don't think about it. Don't make this who you are. It is a part of you not all of you. You are a great guy without being known as the gay guy. Your uncle is the one you should be talking to about this. We had the same discussion only three years ago when I finally found out about him." I was in shock. "Uncle Mike is gay?" I asked. "Yes. What you had not figured it out by now. I thought you guys all knew who each other were. Like radar only what did he call it..?" He sat there poised trying to find the answer in his memory banks of time. "Gaydar Dad, and this conversation is entirely to weird for even us." I said as I sat up looked him in the eyes and he looked so content now. "So, you get back to school we will talk about this on the weekend. You are coming home this weekend right?" I thought about it for a second. "You mean next weekend not in two days right? Well, if it is this weekend then the answer is no, if it is next then yes." Completely satisfied with confusing him I gathered up some things and began to head out of the room when he called me back. "You also should know that if you ever want to bring someone by here you can. It's ok really I just want you to be safe. Your mother will get over it so don't even give it a second thought all right?" He ruffled my hair as we stood facing one another. "Ok." I answered and headed out to the car to leave my mother was sitting on the porch waiting for me to leave. "So, you and your father have a nice go of it?" My father was right behind me and heard her words of hate and was enraged. "So you think I am sleeping with him now! Margrette just because I won't screw your drunk fish ass does not mean that I am sleeping with our only son! He may have turned out like me but at least he wont hurt like me because he has a father who accepts him!" He turned red as he yelled and suddenly stopped as he had now revealed something I had never suspected. "What!" I yelled as he ushered me off the porch leaving my mother to cry. "We will talk about it next weekend unless you come home sooner. Or better yet call me at work tomorrow we will go and have lunch." He said as I put my things in the car and headed back to school. I arrived back at school within 20 minutes and was surprised to find no one in sight as I carried my new things into the room. My bed had been made up and all my things as well as someone else's had been placed in just a order of neatness and quality I would have sworn came from me. He was no were in sight as I began to look around in a sort of amazement at each of the neatly placed items. I heard footsteps nearing the door but I found I was transfixed on the computer screen showing a man in a seductive pose. To my surprise I thought I knew him but could not place the entire face. "Hello John" He said from behind me as I turned dropping my CD's on the floor. I had been caught staring at the computer. I had blown my own cover. "You alright there buddy let me help you pick those up." He bent down to help me as I snatched them off the floor one by one. I had not turned on all the light as I came in only the night stand next to my bed illuminated the room he was standing in the shadows as I looked up at his face seeing him smiling at me. "I was just getting in. You must be my roommate?" I said still in a shocked state of mind. "Yeah, I am John. What only a few months and you don't recognize me. I thought from all the staring you did at me you'd be happy to see me." He said, as I was again thrown and the CD's hit the floor again as I was now sitting down there with them. He stood and closed the door. "I am so sorry, I--" I was at a loss as he sat back down facing me on the floor. Silence for what seemed like hour lasted only minutes as he quizzically gazed at me from the shadows once again. "Maybe I should turn on a light." He stood up; his form took on a powerful scene of shadows and light as the switch clicked and the light drowned out my sight for only seconds. I tried to focus but I was momentarily at a loss as he stood with his back to me. He was waiting for me to be ready as he continued to stand motionless by his bed. I picked up the CD's again and breathed a sigh, as he still remained motionless. "Well, should I turn around now." He said as I scoped him out. "Um are you ready?" I asked as I took a final look at the most muscular body I had ever seen. "Yeah, I am are you?" He asked again. "Ready to take on what ever you are about to give me." I said friskily and he laughed while still facing away. Time stood motionless as I watched him slowly back up from where he stood. He was teasing me as much as I had just teased him. His legs perfectly stepping back moving his ass in a swish only so evident to one who pays close attention to such things. His back rippled as he twisted slightly around giving a look at his profile. I was in heaven suddenly as he turned around bent down and sat on the floor again in front of me. "So, you recognize me now don't you?" He said, as I looked into the eye of Bill my most treasured friend from High School. "Bill? Oh my god! You look great where did all the muscles come from?" I reached out and grabbed his arm as he laughed at me. I could feel the power pulsing through his muscle as it flexed below my grip. "I have had some free time so I spent it well making me a new body. You like it then I take it?" "Well, of course I do you look great. So when did you decide to come here I thought you were going to head out East?" I knew I was chattering but he was so fine and he was here with me. "I decided not too. I wanted to stay here when my parent suddenly thought they should move out there too. I am so glad your dad did all this." He said as I looked at him in a puzzled state of mind. "My dad? What did he have to do with this?" I asked. "He knew about a week ago I think is when I told him. Then the other night he and I had dinner and he said he had pulled some strings and we were going to be living together. I just thought you knew before this." "He never told me. How do you know my dad?" I asked. "We hang out together at the gym and well we sometimes go out for a drink afterwards. He has bought me more drink than anyone I have ever known has. Your dad is a great guy. But, not as great as you of course." I was taken back to the evenings earlier events. "So, what do you and my dad talk about?" I was now worried slightly, as he looked stunned and confused. "All sorts of things I guess. I never really thought about it. Why?" He asked still sitting in front of me. "I don't know I am just surprised you two hang out together. Why didn't you tell me?" I was about to jump him for not telling me when I realized he was much larger than me now and would easily overpower me. "We thought it would be a great surprise. But, I saw you last week at the same bar and well I thought you saw us there. I was so shocked when you just walked by us and said nothing. Kinda weird though you looked totally preoccupied with something." He was talking about the 18 and over club I go to and it had only been maybe two hours before I told my mother everything. "I was thinking about some things that night. I am surprised you guys go there it is a mixed club you know?" I suddenly wished I had not said that I was sure it would lead to other mood points I was not sure he knew about yet. "Yeah I know." He said with no interest in continuing that part of the conversation. I looked around the room still in amazement at the neatness and organization he had done. "Wow you're going to make someone a great wife some day." I said as I looked around laughing. "Oh yeah well you're the one to be my wife." He said as he leaned in and pinned me to the floor. My first reaction was to fight my second was to take notice of my growing desires. "So, you going to be good now or do I have to show you who is boss. I have always wanted to win you know?" He said as he hung over me then laid down on top of my quivering body. "You never told me that before. I think this is the best way to do it." I grabbed hold of the back of his head as we kissed for the first time. "You Ok John? I didn't mean to... Oh what have I done?" He quickly retreated onto his bed as I sat watching him from the floor. I had not a clue as to why he had reacted that way. Then it hit me he had never told me about himself and here I was not telling him about me. I sighed with relief as I looked into his eyes and saw he was shocked yet not broken from the events. "What didn't you mean to do. It's not like I didn't pull you down to kiss me?" I said as I stared up at him. Not a word came form him as I sat there just a few more moment. I began to move towards him crawling on the floor as I reached his bed he lay back against it on his back now. I placed my hand on his chest as he lay there in silence. His breathing quickened, as he still remained silent the silence in the room was over powering as I began to move my hand up his chest and caressed his chin. I was now kneeling next to the bed and working my way up onto it as he still did not move. My hand now rested on either side of his face as he continued to look ashamed and dismayed. Suddenly he awoke from his dream state. "You are going to have to take control here I will not do this unless you--" I placed my right index finger to his lips as he smiled and I leaned in to kiss him again. Our lips were on fire as the room began to spin. I slid my tongue into his awaiting mouth as he came to life pulling me close to him. Our kiss heightened as our hands roamed free over one another's bodies. His work out had paid off as I felt his chest and almost melted as each mound of muscle flexed. Our lips parted as we looked into one another's eyes. "So is that a good start Bill?" I said as I looked deep inside his soul. "Yes. I think we should maybe try to um control ourselves just a bit otherwise you might go into shock." He said as he grabbed me by my arms and kissed me again. I struggled only for show as he let me go soon enough; only to have this hurt and bewildered look on his face. I reached for his hair and nuzzled down into his chest as I held tightly to him. I was now lying completely on top of him when someone knocked on the door. His eyes flashed a sudden panic as did mine. I quickly composed myself and made my way to the door. "Who is it?" I asked hoping no one was there. "It's your father let me in." I opened the door to see him standing there disheveled. I took a sudden pity on him as he entered the room to find Bill lying on his bed and me with a hard on I could never hide. He glanced back at me as he noted the silence as I suddenly panicked and headed for the bathroom. As I set inside in silence, I began to wonder what I was doing here. I stood up and opened the door to find Bill and my father sitting on my bed waiting for my return. "John I should explain." He began as I saw his hand on Bill's thigh. I began to cry and walked out the door and into the hall. Bill was the first to reach me as I headed for the stair well. He grabbed my arm and turned me around in time to stop me from running. "What do you want from me!" I shouted, as he looked hurt suddenly. "Nothing! Go run hide. I can apologize another time. But he is here to talk to you about it. I was going to break it off with him. But as I can see it will do me no good to tell you that." We stood facing off one another as I began to cry again sliding down the wall. He grabbed my arms again and held me tightly as my father approached us. "Well, I think I have made a mess of things now--" He said as I began to spit out hatred. "Yes! And for once I agree with you! Setting this up not telling me. And you!" I yelled as I pointed to Bill. "My best friend. Sleeping with my father and hitting on me!" He let go, as I stood motionless. " Guess all that is missing is mother standing near by telling me the same thing again and again. I told you all this would lead to be hurt and torture. I told you!" I ran for the stairs only to tripping and falling down a flight as I rounded the corner. Sunday........ My Father was the only person in sight as I awoke in a hospital bed. My head pounded with pain as I looked up into his eyes filled with tears. I reached out to his distant gaze as he continued to stare off into space. "I'm alive..." I whispered as he snapped out of his frozen state. "John! Oh John I am so sorry." He said in a panic. "Where is everyone?" I asked still whispered, as I could not find the strength to speak normally. "John you have been out for two days. I sent everyone home. Bill is the only one left and he has gone to find a doctor. You have been trembling for about fifteen minutes." He said as he leaned in and kissed my forehead. I could feel the anger rising within but held it back. "Do you love him?" I asked. "I don't think this is the place. John you need to relax and regroup." "That is what has gotten me here in the first place so. Do you love him?" I was now able to speak as Bill silently walked in and turned around to leave. "Bill you are next so please stay." I said as he turned around with tears in his eyes. I felt a sudden guilt, for if not for him I would not be in love at all. " I think I do." My father answered. "You think you do?" I questioned. "Bill you have the worlds best emotional void for a lover. You know that?" I grinned as my father began to cry again. "He tells you one thing and does another with his heart." "Stop right there!" My mother entered the room. "Why does the truth hurt!" I yelled back as Bill stepped up to the other side of the bed. His eyes gave me a warning to stop. "Ok, if you all are going to pretend then I am out of here. I began to slid to the edge of the bed Bill tried to stop me. "What are you going to do Bill pin me down like you did the other night. Oh wait, my father is here maybe you should pin him down instead!" I slid closer to the edge moving my left lag over and placing it on the floor. I was in a hospital gown having second thought as Bill grabbed my shoulders. "Stop. You can't walk yet." He said as he placed his hand on my right leg covered in a cast. I began to shriek inwardly as my life spun out of control. I slid back onto the bed with his help and felt a sudden pain in my head again. "So, now what do we do?" I heard myself say. Of course it was rhetorical but my mother had to answer. "We wait for you to get out of this place and then you and your father and Bill can fight some more over who get what like a married couple." She sneered as she moved closer to my father who just pulled away from her. "You two out now!" Bill said as he pointed to my parents. "Why us?" My parents asked in unison as if planned in some bad movie script. "He needs his rest and I want to talk to him alone. You go and I will be out in a minute then if he agrees you can come back in on what ever arrangement he makes." Bill said sternly looking at my mother. They each hugged me and left I wished only to pull away. But for the moment I had to be cordial I was apparently in no shape to fight them. They exited quietly as Bill sat down on the edge of the bed. "I can see where you are coming from. But, you should also know it is not what it looks like. We have not been in a relationship like you would have us in." He paused as I stepped in. "I would not have you in any relationship with him for one, and for two it is not my decision who you go falling for. I am in charge of my feelings as any one person should be. I wanted that to happen between us that night it is not your fault it went the way it did. I initiated it, so I will not make the same mistake again." He sighed as he looked down into my eyes leaned forwards and kissed me. I wanted to fight him but my heart would not let me at all. As we broke our kiss he began to whisper to me leaning into my forehead. "You walked out just as he confessed his feelings for me John. Nothing has ever happened with him. It is you I have stayed behind for not him. He was just helping me get to you that is all. He fell for me not the other way around. I only wanted to be with you. I was not even sure you would have me until that night." His care and whispers shocked me, but I was engulfed in his eyes as they spoke the truth I only wanted to hear. Just as I was about to kiss him the door opened we parted eyes and looked at a doctor standing at the end of my bed. "You two may want to cool it a bit. His parents are right outside the door. I think they may barge in at any time." He said as he walked up the opposite side of the bed to Bill. "I don't think they will be in anytime soon. We sent them out for bad behavior." Bill grinned as he told the Doctor. "I'm Dr. Field's and I have been looking after you while you have been out. You see this guy here." He pointed to Bill. "He is a devoted Boyfriend." We both laughed a little. "Oh I take it that it is not official. Well, from the looks on your faces when I came in you should be together." I thought to myself who is this guy. "Anyway he has been here the whole time you have. I only hope he takes a bath soon." He laughed as I sniffed at Bill and laughed with him. "So, what is my prognosis Doctor...?" I looked at his nametag. "W.C. Fields" I laughed again. " William Colven Fields if you must know and you are doing well. Your leg is going to take some time but all you will be needing rest and relaxation." "Can he do that at home?" I heard Bill ask. Hoping he meant the dorms and not home literally. "If you promise to keep your hands and other appendages off of him." He laughed. "If it means him going home I will promise if he will." He gave me his classic quirky grin. "It says here you are a student. You have a home to go too right?" I began to answer. "We stay in the--" Bill cut me off. "He now has a place to call home." He said resting his hand on my stomach. "Ok well tomorrow morning I will release him." He walked towards the still closed curtains. "Oh look it morning already." He said as he opened the curtains letting the sunshine in. "Now that all the formalities are over who are you really?" I asked. "I told you William Fields at you service." He smiled and held his hand out to me. "No, I mean why are you so accepting of us and all? Why are you so friendly I mean." I said stammering. "I think he means are you gay?" Bill said with his charming get to the point attitude. "Yes I am." He said not skipping a beat followed by. "Single and looking. Is that really your dad out there? He looks way to young to be your dad." He grinned as he placed his clipboard on my nightstand. I could see his interest but had no idea how to handle it. "Yes he is and he is currently single or will be soon." I punched Bill in his arm. "But, they are still married right?" "Not for long William. They have not had a working relationship for year. They just stay in the same house." I said as I smiled up at him while Bill rubbed my stomach. "Ok, so he is in a marriage because of what?" He said looking at both of us and setting down in the chair my father had been in. Bill pointed directly at my nose as he smiled down on me. I had never considered the facts until this moment about my parents. I thought for a few minutes about calling them back in but decided against it as William began to speak again. "So, how do I get to know him with her standing out there?" He asked as he looked directly at me. "I don't know. You should ask him." I pointed to Bill. "Well, Bill what do you think?" He said as Bill stood up and walked to the door. "Tom could you come in here the Doctor wants to speak to you alone." Bill said only opening the door wide enough to stick his head out. I could hear my mother questioning my father as entered the room. He stood silent, as William looked him over from my bedside. My father searched for the answers as he looked from each one of us to the other. Bill was the first to speak to him. "Tom I would like to introduce you to Dr. W.C. Field." The three of us giggled as his face suddenly turned to a grin. "Pleased to meet you. How is he?" My dad asked as I watched Williams face brighten from it somber gaze. "He is going to be fine just takes a little time to get things moving in the right direction--" He suddenly paused and stared at my father. "But, more importantly how are you?" He said as he stood and walked over to dad. "I'm fine..." He looked back over to Bill and I who were watching with great anticipation. "I'm just concerned about my son--" William looked him in the eyes as he reached out and felt of his forehead. "I think you need some TLC yourself. Maybe you should not go back out there just yet." He said, as my father never lost his stare. "I think you might be right. By the way what do I call you?" My father said. "Call me Wil. You know short for William or willing." He said as he smiled at my dad. Bill and I had a hard time controlling or giggles. "Ok Wil. I am Tom nice to meet you." I watched as my father reached out his hand to Wil. They were speaking in breathy tones making it all to clear this was a very good idea. Wil gently took his hand as they embraced and held each other like this for several moments. My Mother barged in to find them in this position and immediately went into melt down. "What the hell is going on here!" She shouted as she separated them from one another. "Mother get out!" I yelled. "Don't you talk to me like that. I leave you guys alone and you start an orgy in the room--" She was cut off by Bill. "No, a orgy requires us to take our clothes off and have meaningless sex. We all have our clothes on, and this is not meaningless in the least bit." He grinned as she rushed towards him striking him with a slap to his face. Now with my rage fully capable and becoming out of control I sat upright and grabbed her arm. "You will never do that again you understand me. He means more to me than your tired marriage could ever have held. You are a abusive drunken woman with very little love left in her life cherish what you still have." I said, as silence was all that could be heard. My Mother spun round as I released my grip. "So it has finally come to this. I hope you are satisfied completely with your actions here. Because now it is done and over with!" She yelled at my father as Wil placed his hand on his shoulder. "So, who is she Tom?" "Wil I would like you to meet My X-wife." He said, with more confidence than I have ever come out of his mouth. My mother looked as if she had been shot through her heart. I felt suddenly to myself that she deserved it. Wil stepped forwards not to be out done and held out his hand to greet her. "Listen here you little grub I wont be shaking your hand on this day or any other. So, this is it then Tom? This is how it ends after all the support I have given you? You treat me like garbage." She was now starting to actually be believable in her emotions as she calmly began to search for a chair. Bill slid one across to her as she sat there staring at him he was grinning to pay her back for the slap. "Mother I think you should leave. Before you do something you'll regret." I said as my Father watched Wil move back to his side. "Or before you see something you don't like." He reached over and to Wil's hand in his. Mother stood immediately and rushed out of the room. No tears struck her cheeks as she turned and nodded to me saying her silent goodbye. "Maybe we should just get you out of here too." Wil said, as he grabbed his clipboard and headed out the door still holding my Father's hand. As the door closed Bill began to giggle at me as I laughed as loud as I could. As the giggling stopped so did our comfort of being alone. My father returned with a wheel chair and Wil close behind. They motioned to Bill as he vicariously lifted me from the bed cast and all. As he placed me in the chair he kissed me soundly before stepping behind the chair. I could see Bill signing papers, as he read them and glancing up at my father every now and again as they both agreed to what was written there. "Uhmm..." I cleared my throat as the three of them returned their attentions to me sitting in silence. "What's going on guys?" I asked as Wil knelt down beside me. "They are looking over your paper work. Bill is signing and your father is um to cute for words." He said as he whispered the last part to me I grinned and heard my father clear his throat now. "No flirting with the Doctor son. I need him to give me a physical latter and I want him to be paying attention to me not you." He said as he stepped forwards knelt behind Wil and wrapped his arm around him. "Let's get out of here before Hurricane Margrette returned." Bill said as we all laughed. As we exited the building I noticed several of my relatives standing by as the doors slid shut behind us. I felt as if I was at the head of the firing squad as we made way to Bill's car. Dr. Fields found himself a hand to hold as my grandmother suddenly greeted the four of us. "Tom, you have a wife to support you will not do this to the family!" Her seventy year old hand's shook as she tried to scream. "Listen here Mother put your nose back into your own business. I remember a certain man having problem and being miserable all of his life...." My Uncle Roy stepped in between them as my father continued to close the distance. (To be continued...) E-mail is very welcome. Comments questions or otherwise can be sent here: writergray@aol.com