Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2007 20:21:38 -0800 (PST) From: John Gerald Subject: Connections 25 Thanks again for visiting, and especially those who have taken the time to write. I really appreciate it. I'd like to thank Colin and Doug for their editing help in this chapter. Regarding the thought about jumping ahead in time, we'll just have to see how things turn out. :-) Watching people come into the emergency room was becoming routine. But still, some cases bothered him. A few weeks before, his boss at the hospital had assigned him to spend more time in the emergency room itself rather than just in the reception area. Basically he was just a gopher for the doctors, nurses, orderlies or whomever else needed help. But for him, it was a front-row view of the human condition. This morning, Brad was helping pull a gurney out of one of the exam areas. He was doing his best to keep it from pulling on the privacy curtain that protects the patient alcoves. He tried not to listen, but, sometimes, he couldn't help it. "Sweetie, how do you feel?" a mother said to the small, crumpled girl on the bed. The ambulance had just brought here there. He could only hear a mumble as he saw the woman's arm wipe the brow of her motionless daughter. The mother turned to the doctor, saying, "They've been getting worse, doctor. They had started her on a new med, Topamax, It seemed to help for a while, but now they're coming back. She's had three in the last week, but this one is by far the worst. I'm....I'm not sure what we should do...God, I don't know what to do!...." She struggled to get the words out, but her concern and fear for her daughter were clearly overwhelming her. Brad squeezed his eyes shut when he heard the name of that medication. It was one that Mike's family had considered for him at one time, when he was a kid. But with hope, rather than science, they decided against using it. The woman was clutching her daughter's limp hand. It was like she was trying to transfer health, energy, something of her own life to her daughter to help her through this. Brad didn't have a problem with blood. If he was interested in medicine, he probably could have been a surgeon. But emotions were another story. Just seeing this mother and her daughter, he couldn't help but be drawn into their drama, empathizing with the pain and frustration that the mother was suffering. It also made him appreciate the Kovar's struggles even more. Epilepsy is not necessarily inherited; at least, not all types are. But to have two generations in one household is unusual, and it wouldn't be unexpected that it would cause an extra degree of stress and strain. But he never sensed that with the Kovars. Maybe they were lucky; maybe it was because neither of them was critically ill with it. But it said a lot about their strength as a family. His mind churned over this and other things as he strolled over to the park for one of the last summer lunches with Mike. Overall, his own job had been really good for the original purpose, meaning he made money. And, he had experience that would look unusual and interesting on his law school applications. After all, he was competing against wealthy kids who could do volunteer work in exotic foreign countries and put together a "laundry list" of interesting experiences that look great on paper. So, he had to look just as interesting. If he had to game the system a little bit, so be it. He just made sure that he'd enjoy it at the same time. Today was his day to get lunch, so he picked up some lean sausage and low-fat cheese for Mike, and a sandwich for himself, along with Cokes for the both of them. Mike had lost the battle to binge on bad carbohydrates a long time ago, owing to Brad's instance on keeping him on the ketogenic diet, or at least on some semblance of one. Mike's consolation was that he was able to convince Brad that they both didn't need to follow the diet just because one of them had to do it. "Here ya go, pup," Brad said as he joined Mike on their usual bench in the park and handed him his lunch. "Thanks, Mr. Hot Stuff!" Mike said, as he reached up and took his lunch out of Brad's hands, at the same time using his other hand to gently poke Brad in the crotch. Brad tried to ignore the subtle come on, but his dick couldn't help but stir a bit. "Last days pretty exciting?" Brad asked. "Well, not really, but OK," Mike said as he unwrapped the sausages. "As I've said to you before, this has been a good experience, but I'm not sure that I want to come back to this firm. I like a lot of the people, especially the ones around my cubicle. But I was kind of disappointed in the partners. It's a design-oriented firm, but they don't' run the place very well. I hope they're not all screwed up that way, I mean the firms with good design." "What about that gay guy, the designer? What did you think of him in the end?" "Actually, he was kind of a prick, a bit full of himself. That disappointed me, but I guess I shouldn't assume that just because someone is gay that I'll like him, or should look up to him." Brad chimed in, "You can say that again!" Brad smiled to himself, as he had a long list of people who fit that description. Mike chuckled, and then continued. "Anyway, I think he liked me. So, maybe he'll write a letter of recommendation for me. He went to Princeton, which might count for something if I apply there." Finally putting his meat and cheese together, Mike paused before taking his first bite, then continued in a lower voice, practically whispering in Brad's ear. "What if he demands a piece of ass from me as the price for a good letter?" Brad looked back at him with concern. Leaning over and speaking directly into Mike's ear, he said, "Tell him he can have a piece of your ass as long as he's willing to accept the fact that your boyfriend will cut off his balls, fry them until they're crisp, and then shove them up his ass." Mike looked up and around, and spoke as if he was addressing the entire park. "And who says chivalry is dead!" It took a few moments for them both to stop smirking, but then Mike returned to the subject at hand. "Anyway, the person whom I like the most, is that project manager, Rick, who originally interviewed me. He's a sharp guy. I think he spends too much time on this job, I mean he's a workaholic who doesn't seem to see his little kids as much as he should. But he does his job really well, and we hit it off great." "Does he know you're gay?" "Yeah, I think they all do. I don't think it matters to him. He's just interested in getting the job done and making money. Really a focused guy, very organized and deliberate. And, he's kind of a social animal, too. Loved to schmooze the clients. In fact, I heard that some of the partners felt he was a little too good at it, taking the spotlight away from them." "It doesn't' sound like you want to go back next year, no?" "Well, it depends if there's anything else out there. It hasn't been bad, just not great. But there are people with whom I guess I should stay in touch, Rick being the most important." "I guess we'll just see how next year goes." Mike concluded, as he took a final swig of his soda. Checking to make sure that the other vehicle was behind her, Jill parked her car off to the side of the three-car garage and slipped in the back door, her usual path. Her Dad heard her keys and purse hit the breakfast table, and right away knew who it was. He hadn't been well the last few years. His son's death practically destroyed him, and when his wife died of cancer just a few years ago it was almost more that he could take. It was a big void to fill, and Jill, and her Dad, did their best, but sometimes that kind of task is beyond what anyone can do. He knew he was a strict Dad, but he thought it was for his own good. His own father had been much worse, so he felt he was a relatively liberal parent because he didn't stoop so low as to hit his children. In his heart of hearts, he knew they were great kids, but something in him just couldn't let up on the discipline. Besides, he thought, once they became real adults, he'd have plenty of time to make it up to them. It never occurred to him that his son wouldn't be around for him to have that chance. Jill had filled a huge void in his life but her decision not to have kids was another circumstance that didn't turn out the way he planned. At one time he would have raged against such a decision, but now he realized how important it was to have her in his life, no matter what she decided for herself. "I wasn't expecting you until the weekend. Do you want to pick up that rug from downstairs now and take it back to your place?" She was looking at him in a funny way out of which he couldn't really make sense. "Dad, um, we need to talk about something" she said pulling out a chair at the edge of the table as she motioned him to sit next to her. `Oh God, he thought to himself! Is there a problem? Please, God, don't let there be anything wrong with her!" She knew this would look ominous, so she quickly tried to put that issue to rest. But she knew what she had to say would be shocking to him. "Dad, before you jump to any conclusions, everything is all right, at least with me. But I've found something out that I need to tell you about." Mr. Campagna noticed that she was looking right at him, not turning away at all. So he decided that maybe it wasn't so bad. At least, she couldn't have some health or job problem. After getting them each a cup of tea, he took the seat next to her, He didn't have to ask what she liked, since he'd been getting it for her for years. She took the tea from him but just put it to the side, not drinking any. She looked down for a moment, and then started as best she knew how. "Dad, I just discovered something. Something important. But I need to talk about Robert first, if that's OK." His sensitivities were well known. She noticed his head sag a bit. "um. I don't understand what you need to say, but go ahead, even if it's about Robert, not that it matters anymore," he said with unconvincing detachment. Jill took a deep breath. She had spent every evening, but one, this past week talking with Brad on the phone. And that only other evening she spent having a long dinner at the Kovar's. There was lots to say. There was just no roadmap for doing something like this. "Dad, did you think that Robert and Ronnie were going to be married?" He didn't respond immediately. He didn't even move. `God,' she thought, `this is really going to be hard.' But she had to press on. "Dad?" He finally responded, but very quietly. And, humbly. "I think so. I don't think I was very supportive of their relationship...something for which I'll always regret...but to answer the question, yes. I did think that they'd eventually get married." "Dad, as we've talked before, don't blame yourself for anything. Robert always did things the way he did for his own reasons, but I think he always knew that you loved him. In fact I know he did." He perked up a bit, but then settled down again. Whatever the truth of that, there wasn't much point in even discussing now, these many years later. At least that's what he told himself. "Dad, I need to ask you a question that you will think is really strange, but you need to hear me out. OK? You going to listen?" "Sure. Whatever it is, just go ahead." Her Dad noticed that she momentarily played with her long hair, something she did only at the most stressful times. He made sure to listen carefully. "This is going to be difficult to think about, but do you remember seeing Veronica before she died, I mean in the week or two before she died." "Why are you asking me this.?" he asked. A slight bit of irritation was evident in his voice, in spite of his efforts to control it. "Just answer the question." He started to ponder it and his mood clearly switched as he raised his hand to his face, stroking his jaw. "You know, Jill, I saw her the week before. She had come by to pick up Rob. It was a little strange, she didn't come inside the house, just got out to open the door for him to put an old TV in the back seat. I saw her out the window, and she didn't really look too good. She looked kind of puffy, and I hate to say it, but I thought she was getting a little big, maybe fat." "Did you think anything of that?" "Well, it did surprise me a little, I mean Rob's behavior. I'll let you in on guy-talk here, Jill, but I always thought that Rob was a little obsessed with good-looking girls, he was the worst skirt-chaser I ever saw. But even though Veronica was not looking good at all, Rob seemed even more, how would I say it, concerned. Very concerned." Then he started to reminisce. "I have to tell you something about your brother. When I'd have to take him into my office in town for something his head was constantly snapping around checking our every cute girl that walked by. I can appreciate his enthusiasm for that, " he said with a chuckle, a chuckle he would have never let her see 20 years ago. "But your brother was really over the top. That's why I was so surprised with Veronica. Once he met her, it was as if no other women existed, even when she was getting worse looking, if I can say it that way." The cup clanged quietly as she put her tea down after taking her first sip. `May as well get it out now,' she thought. "Dad, what if I told you that she was pregnant, and that they were able to save the baby, but not her." At that moment you could hear some kids playing in the distance, having fun around the neighbor's pool. It wasn't exactly close, but the silence of the room seemed to act as an amplifier. "um, I don't think that can be true, Jill" He looked dazed. "I don't exactly know how to say this easily, but it's true Dad, I've met him." And she proceeded to tell him all that had happened in the past week, and for that matter the past 21 years. There were still a couple holes to be filled, but the picture was basically complete. "How can this be?" He just kept repeating himself, until he abruptly changed this question. "Do you think it's some elaborate hoax to get some money?" Jill didn't hesitate to respond. "Dad remember how you couldn't use money to buy Robert?. We'll, his son is the same way. He can be kind of stubborn, as you might remember." It was the first smile that she got from her Dad the whole, time. That was a good thing because she wanted to get all the news out there, not just the nice stuff. "I need to tell you one more thing about him. You've heard what a jock he is, what a good student, hard working, all that. But he's also gay, and is in a relationship with a really great guy. You need to know, too." She said. It was the real moment of truth, as far as she was concerned. Make or break it. He paused again, much longer than before, and took his own deep breath. Strangely, it looked like he was going to cry, but held it in. "Do you remember my older brother, Uncle Frank? He asked her. He said it so quietly she could barely hear him. "Not really, Dad. You know he died before I was..." He interrupted before she could finish, clearly getting too agitated to wait. "We always told people it was an accident, and that's what my folks told people. But I was one of the few that knew it was a suicide." He reached into this pocket for a handkerchief. "I didn't know all the details, I never will. But my Dad caught him behind the house with some guy. I didn't understand at the time what was going on, but later I realized...." He went on with what happened to his adored older brother, how he was thrown out of the house, had nowhere to go. Then his parents got the news from the police about a body that was found at the base of the bridge into the downtown area. It didn't take any more words for Jill to realize that it didn't matter. "Do you think you're ready to meet him?" She finally asked. He cleared his throat. "Of course, Jill. When can we do it? She got up from the table and was out of sight into the dining room until he heard her open the front door. A minute later, he saw two guys were standing under the archway connecting the dining room and kitchen. One of them was a kind of medium height guy, kind of a good-looking kid, but the other, the other was...Robert!" He got out of the chair, but then couldn't move his legs. He just reached his shaking hand out toward Brad as best he could. In an instant his grandson, his only grandchild, was right there in front of him. He ran his fingers down Brad's face, feeling the skin, the curves, the texture. It was like a ghost was in front of him, a ghost that he was trying to make real, to believe that it was real. Brad reached out and touched his grandfather's hand, giving him that smile that his grandfather had seen in his own son so often but never took enough time to enjoy. Until now. The resemblance to Robert was uncanny, but he saw Veronica there, too. Where the Campagna's were slim, Brad had what a gay guy would call `hunkiness' from his mom's athletic frame. Instinctively, after not being able to move closer, he pulled Brad into a powerful bear hug and just cried his eyes out. Brad returned the embrace as he kept his grandfather from almost falling down with emotion. "My god, I can see them both in you, but especially my son. My God, My God! He continued to repeat without realizing he was even talking. Even though Brad assumed that the gay part was OK, he still held his breath when he introduced Mike. But it didn't take more than a second for Mr. Campagna to release Brad and then pull Mike into an embrace. Mr. Campagna whispered in Mike's ear. "Thanks for taking care of him. I hear he's in good hands," he said with his still shaky voice. Mike struggled to suppress a smile as he said, "We take care of each other, sir." After Pete and Kate's wedding, Julie's affair became the sort of ceremonial event to end the summer social season. It was bigger that the earlier fete, to match the size of her mother's maternal ego. The guys had switched places of honor for this one, with Mike seated at the wedding party's table and Brad out at regular guest table with Mike's family, seated between Mikes parent's and Hanna and Kurt. "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride," she called out as she poked Brad in the back and pointed at her brother. "He's not getting any younger, you know" She really had no idea what was on Brad's mind, but couldn't resist the friendly dig. She was about to go for another one, when Kurt maneuvered himself next to her and gave her one of his `back off' stares. "Kurt, I don't know how you do it, but whatever it is, I'll pay you to keep doing it," Brad said as he reached for his beer, taking a big swig, then gargling with it before swallowing and letting out a long, loud ..... BUUUUURRRRRP!!! - right in Hanna's face. By now `HK,' as Brad and Mike were calling them, were spending every weekend together, trading places each weekend at the other's college. Brad was impressed at what a family-oriented guy that Kurt was. Outside of his obviously intense dedication to his schoolwork, he spent all his time with Hanna, his brother, widowed Dad, or at the Kovar house. Any socializing with friends was always done with his partner, just like Mike and Brad. Since he was a young college guy and most of his friends were single, it took some getting used to the fact that if Hanna were in town, she would be with him. That didn't set well with some of the `guys' guys, who resented the intrusion into the stag atmosphere, but Kurt just decided where his life was going and if some guys didn't like it, too bad. Watching both of their kids here tonight, the elder Kovar couldn't have been happier. This was just the way he liked a weekend evening -.all of them together, just having a good time. He knew it wouldn't always be this way, though. For very good reasons, Hanna also spent time at the elder Metz's house. Though he missed her, and Kurt, around the house, he respected his daughter even more for this. It was a real sign that she was growing up. Mike waited for Roger to finally reclaim the bride before he joined his family at their table. Pulling up a chair next to Brad, he caught the aftermath of their encounter. "Mirek, how can you actually take him out in public?" Brad turned back to her, then looked at Mike, took another swig and gave another, smaller belch. "She doesn't seem to like these, pup," he said with a smile. "No accounting for taste, I guess." Mike replied. Kurt was now massaging her shoulders, like the manager in the corner of the boxing ring trying to get his champ back in shape. Where formerly she would have drilled her eyes into her victims and come up with another retort, she now just rolled her head back to enjoy Kurt's ministrations. "How's that?" Kurt asked. "Ohhhhh...great. Thanks," she said as she reached over and stroked his strong hand. "Good!. Now get up and lets dance!" he ordered the willing Hanna, as he grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the floor. In reality, he hadn't even finished one beer the night before, but had perfected the burping exercise way back in high school. He didn't want to drink much anyway, but not only because Mike couldn't share, but that they had big plans for the next day. That's when they were going to visit his parents' graves. It would probably be about a three-hour roundtrip to see both gravesites then come home. They both dressed casually, but nicer than typical for a summer day, with Dockers type slacks and button down shirts even though it was still summer weather. "You OK, babe?" Mike put his hand on Brad's leg, almost not allowing him out of the car until he answered. They had parked right outside the cemetery gate. "Yea, I'll be fine. We can go." They were about to cross the threshold of the stone archway when Brad paused. He reached over and rubbed Mike on the back of the neck. "I'm glad you're here," he said. Mike just smiled as he returned the gesture with a gentle tug and said, "Let's go in." It didn't take long to find the grave. The directions that they got from Jill were perfect. It was as if she knew them by heart. When they finally found the flat stone, Brad knelt down and bowed his head with Mike standing just to his left side. He could feel Brad shaking. He pulled of some small weeds and other growth that obscured part of the lettering. "Mom," he said, "I'll be taking care of this from now on." Silence returned as Brad was lost in thought. Every once in a while, he'd shift his position slightly, or maybe move his hand along the grave, but didn't say a word. It wasn't until Brad leaned against Mike's leg that he spoke. "Mom, he's really special. I know you'd like him." Then he corrected himself. "No, you'd love him, like I do." Mike reached down and ran his fingers through Brad's hair, giving it a gentle tug. Before they left, Mike noticed that Brad had reached into his pocket and pulled something out. He wasn't sure what it was, but the action was very deliberate. All he heard, though, was the sound of some metal objects as they were carefully placed on the grave. Brad was slightly bent over, so he could see what it was, either, but it looked like Brad picked them up before he left. It was almost silent out there in the other cemetery, too, the one behind a country church. The only sound was the wind rustling through a nearby grove of trees. It was a much older cemetery that his mom's, and the Campagna name stood out from the mostly German ones on the other gravestones. With Mike still standing, Brad got down on one knee, reaching down to touch the grave as Mike's hand stayed on his shoulder. He was silent, too, just like at his mother's grave. Brad was finally getting to meet his dad, too. He finally spoke but continued looking down at the grave. "Dad, remember when you wrote to me and said I should find someone better than me? He said, with a slight smile that was out of Mike's view. "Well, I did" Mike gently kneed Brad in the back and whispered, "Not true,' but Brad pretended to ignore him and continued. "He's everything I ever dreamed of, and better. I don't know how to describe him to you, except to say that I love him so much it hurts sometimes. You probably understand that from how you felt about Mom." He paused for a moment, caught his breath, and continued. "We've talked a lot about our future together, even about having a family. It's scary to think about kids, but also exciting. I'm sure you understand that, too. " . "Dad, I know that he and I will be together for the rest of our lives, but I still want to do something. Something formal, and permanent." As he said this, Mike glanced down and saw Brad reach into his pocket. He saw a slight glint of metal as Brad pulled his hand back out. "I've got your rings, Dad." Brad said as he held them in his palm, over the grave. "Grandpa found them in your things after you died, and he gave them to me." Brad stopped to take a deep breath. "Grandpa felt that they should be mine. And I should do what I think is right with them." "And what I want to do is to ask Mike to marry me. And these rings would symbolize it, remind us of each other, and of you and mom." He felt Mike's hand go limp, and for a moment was panicked but still continued. "I asked Mom, and she said `Great,' at least I think she would have," he said with another slight smile and a chuckle. "I hope he feels the same way, but I...." suddenly, he felt a tight grip around his neck and shirt and was literally yanked up off his knees and into Mike's arms, there in the middle of the cemetery, over Brad's father's grave. Mike pulled the two of them together, wrapping his left hand around Brad while using his right to carefully move that curly black hair, that beautiful hair, off of his forehead. Though he was developing a serious lump in his throat, he was able to squeak out an answer. "'Yes.' the answer is `Yes,' he quietly but firmly declared. They stared at each other, looking into each other's eyes but also into the future. Surprisingly, Brad had the somewhat silly grin of a plotter and schemer, as he was barely able to keep tears from forming. He could feel Mike shaking and gently caressed the nervous arms before he put the ring on Mike's trembling finger. "You sure?" he asked coyly, not losing the smile. "Ummm... the rings aren't very fancy. I guess my parent's liked simple things, but.." Mike put his other hand over Brad's mouth, gently pressing against his lips. "Brad, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I don't ever want another fancier one. I only want this one. And you..." Mike couldn't say any more, He could only nod his head in agreement. Words were gone, all he had left was emotions as he slowly, gently, pressed his lips against Brad's