Welcome to the sequel of Dan, The Man. This used to be known as Starting Over Again, however, I felt the title of the series gave away the ending to Dan too easily. So, I've just changed the title completely to Joe, The Man. This is the re-release of this series. I have made grammatical corrections, added and deleted scenes, and have tried to make the series mor consistent. If you are a second time reader, I hope you enjoy it again.

Now for the legal stuff. This is a work of fiction. All similarities in real life are coincidental. This work solely belongs to the author and no unauthorized reproduction of this material in part or in whole may be used without the consent of the author himself. If you are under 18 (or 21 in some areas), please exit now. If a bunch of college guys, some who are gay and some who are straight, offend you, then please, do the world a favor and get with the real world. But until you do, please get out. And now.....

Joe, The Man, Part I

"Double Funerals/Fall Semester"

By Joey E

After they towed Ro's SUV away, I went reluctantly back to my car. I couldn't leave the scene, even though there was nothing more to do. They had transported the bodies to the hospital where who knows what would happen to them next. I drove home in a daze, in such a daze that I could've been the cause of an accident probably.

But I made it home, and found my mom in the kitchen, hugged her and cried my eyes out.

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked. She knew I didn't show emotions too much, and when I did, something was really wrong.

"Mom, Ro and Dan are dead," I said, softly, not believing what I just said myself.

"What?" she asked, concern growing and not believing.

"They were in a car accident on their way here to drop off some stuff from the apartment," I said, between sobs. "Some drunk driver hit them, and killed them!"

She gently led me over to the family room couch, and sat me down and just held me. I explained more of the details to her, painfully. I went through the rest of that day, crying, and not believing what had happened. I knew I still had stuff back at the apartment and we were supposed to move out by 6PM that night, but I didn't care.

However, the school did. I have had unpleasant experiences with the office of residence life before through work and living there, and I'm not very fond of it. So imagine my reaction when I got the call at home, wondering why I hadn't checked out.

"Do you have any idea what happened to me today?" I asked the woman from Residence Life.

"My roommate and friend were killed in a car accident today on the way home to my house. I think I have better things than worry about moving out of my freakin' apartment," I said, my voice growing in anger.

She said something.

"Well, I will move out when I feel like it!" I said, slamming the cordless phone down on the carpeted floor and collapsing on the couch, in tears.

The college called back and my Dad answered the phone this time. My dad also works at the college, so I was really surprised at how he talked to someone else who worked there like that. He was very upset.

"Damn, that college pisses me off sometimes," he remarked.

My friends, Jill and her mom, Donna (who I worked with) and Paul came over for support. I got a phone call from Sean that night asking if I wanted to come up for the funeral in two days. I said, I would. We talked that night, a long time, about Dan, about his childhood, we even laughed a bit, but we cried mostly. I also got a call from Ro's parents. His funeral was going to be tomorrow. So it was true. They were both dead.

I was numb to the world. Kevin came over later that night, my other roommate from the apartment on-campus at school. C He was shocked beyond belief. We talked too, remembering Roland, smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol. For the first time that I ever him, Kevin cried. He slept over that night, and we were going to head up to his house in the morning, and then to Ro's for his funeral.

We rode up in the car together, I drove, and talked all about it over again. We couldn't believe that our roommate, 22 years old, was dead. I couldn't tell which pain came from losing which person, but it all blended together and was becoming over whelming. We made it to Ro's house, and hugged his mother. They didn't have an open casket (Thank god! I hate that. The person's dead, I don't want to see them again!). I saw some of Ro's friends that I knew, and some that I didn't. It was a nice ceremony, and I managed to restrain my tears throughout the whole thing. So did Kev.

It was good to have him there. Paul also was there, and we comforted each other, hugging, and holding. I stayed over at Ro's house, his parents were in complete shock of the whole matter still, so it wasn't a very friendly stay. But I stayed in Ro's room, which was the worst thing possible for me to do (he had an extra bed in his room, which I usually slept in when I stayed over). I couldn't fall to sleep, I couldn't do it. I had to get up, get out, and move. Kev was sleeping on the sofa downstairs, so I tiptoed downstairs and found him watching TV.

"Can't sleep?" He asked, looking up at me.

"Yeah," I said. I sat down next to him on the couch.

"Neither could I," Kev said, looking at me. I saw pain in his eyes, that I didn't think was possible coming from him.

"Dude, you wanna smoke?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, getting up and walking out their back door, being very quiet.

"Well, one down, and one to go," I said, lighting up my Marlboro Menthol Light.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Kevin said. "Well, at least you're halfway there."

"Yeah, I know, it's only an hour away from here," I said.

"Kev, did I ever tell you what a wonderful guy Ro was?" I asked.

"No, not really. Usually you bitched to me about how he annoyed you sometimes," he said, grinning. I grinned back, remembering those times.

"Yeah, but he was a good, true person," I said.

"Yes that he sure was," Kev said, nodding in agreement.

"It's funny how I would've probably never known him if we weren't roommates. You know, he slept with me and held me when I had those nightmares," I said.

"He did what?" Kev asked, surprised.

"Yeah, he did. He was really a true friend, man," I said.

"Damn," Kev said, amazed that Ro would do such a thing.

'Yeah," I said with tears in my eyes.

We went back in after we flicked our cigs out and turned into bed. I had a rough night's sleep but that was to be expected.

The next morning, I woke up before Kevin did, took my shower, got dressed, and went downstairs for breakfast. Ro's mom was there, and his sister was there too. We ate breakfast together. Kev was soon up, and we stayed there for about an hour more, talking to them. By the time we were done talking, all of us had tears down our faces.

Somehow, Kev, I, and Paul, who was staying at another friends house, got together and made it up to Dan's in the afternoon. I didn't stay at his parents house. But, Sean had arranged for me to stay at one of Dan's friend's house that I knew. I was very grateful for that. We found the place with no problem at all, and headed over to the church where the funeral was. Dan wanted to be cremated, I knew that since we had talked about that once, but he didn't get his wishes. I sighed when I saw the casket there. We all sat down in a pew with some of Dan's friends from college and the service began. I saw his parents for the first time in my life, with his brother and his relatives. It was a nice ceremony, but I think I would've done it differently. I remained brave and steady until the end.

I stared at the casket, and began to wonder if Dan was in heaven. I wondered if he could see his funeral from above. I began to wonder if he was still watching over me. I silently tried to talk to Dan in my mind.

"Daniel. I loved you more than anything else in the world." My eyes started to water up.

"I hope you can hear me and see your funeral. Please, stay with me for the rest of my life. I need you, man. If you are here, please. Give me a sign, that you're with me."

I opened my eyes back up, not expecting to get a sign. But all of sudden, I heard MY music coming out of the stereo in the church, the love song I had written for Dan. I looked at Kev, wide-eyed and stared at him. Kev was surprised as well. I looked over at Sean, and he had just smiled at me and nodded. I closed my eyes, remembering Dan the way he was, how much he loved me, how much I loved him, and the music just got to me, big time. I started sobbing, trying to stay quiet, but they came from deep with in me.

I turned to Kev, I turned to Paul, who were both staring at me with looks of concern. I grabbed Paul, and hugged him. He held me, very close as I cried on his shoulder. I couldn't see, my vision being blurred by my tears, as the music continued. I loved that song, it was one of my favorites. As I tried to calm myself down, more good memories came into my head, and I would cry even harder. The song ended, and I realized, that was probably the sign. I grinned through tears and said softly, "Thanks, man."

We all got up, and I waited in line to pay respects to the family. I kept staring at the casket, knowing Dan's body was in there. They were going to take him away and bury him. I left the line, and went over to the casket. I put my hand on the top, hoping Dan would feel my presence. I started talking to him, hoping he would listen.

"Can you hear me? If you can, I just wanted to tell you, I love you. I'll miss you, man."

Suddenly, this feeling of sereness came over my body. I felt rejuvenated. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, and saw Sean, standing there. I hugged him so hard that day. He gave me it back, too, which is what I needed. He lead me back to his parents. I gave a slight hesitation, which he noticed.

"Don't worry, Joe. It's okay, man. They're okay. They know who you are," he said.

I followed him back to his parents, his mother was crying. His dad held out his hand.

"You must be Joe," he said.

"Yes, I am," I said, softly, shaking his hand.

"We've heard a lot about you," Dan's mom said. "It's nice to meet you, finally."

I shook my head in agreement, and walked over to her, and gave her a big hug. I was relieved that she hugged me back, an indication she had gotten over for at least the time that her eldest son was gay. We walked out of there and made it back to my car.

"Kev, I need a smoke," I said.

We all pulled out cigs, and smoked one cig, commenting about how the funeral was, and all. I was emotionally drained, and didn't feel like driving home, so I gave Kev the keys and he drove. As soon as we hit the road, I was out, which is not normal for me to sleep in a car.

We all got back to the college town and we sadly went into our apartment. All around the apartment, my mind played tricks on me and put Dan's image in various parts where I remembered him. It wasn't a good thing.

"Kev, do we got any liquor?"

"No, Joe, we don't. We moved out remember?" he said, grabbing one of my keyboards.

"Be careful with that, man. It's all I got left," I said, being more dramatic than called for. But in a way, it was true.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, carrying it down the steps.

We moved all my shit out of the apartment, and headed back to my house. Kev wanted to go home, being that he was with me for the past three days, practically and still had to unpack his shit.

Somehow, I made it through that summer, doing an internship at the radio station, which took up a lot of my time, which kept me busy, and working my usual job at Telecommunications. I kept in touch with Paul, Kev, Sean, and my other friends, visiting them every now and then. But I missed Dan profusely, and couldn't face going back to school without him.

However, Kev called me and asked if I could move on-campus again.


"Because Tim (our fourth roommate) can't make it, and I don't want to room with a fuckin' complete stranger," he said.

I laughed. "Well, actually, let me ask my parents, and see what they say."

Luckily, my parents didn't see anything wrong with it, since it was going to be my last semester in college ever, and they knew I needed to be surrounded by friends more than ever this semester. I worked out things with Residence Life and got into Kev's room. We had no idea who would be stuck with Paul yet, since Ro was gone too. I didn't want to room with Paul, under any circumstances.

After a long dreary summer, it was time to move back in. I was the first one there to move in, being that I had connections from work. I like it because I avoid the mad rush of people moving in, fighting for good parking spots. We had gotten word that a new freshmen was moving in with us, being that they were tight for spots in the dorms. Only Paul had talked to him over the phone, and we had no idea what this person was going to be like.

The next person to move in was the freshman. I was in the living room, staring at a blank wall where Ro's TV used to be, remembering times that Ro and I had when he came in the apartment. I broke my stare, and jumped up, trying to conceal the tears that were falling from my eyes.

"Hey! You must be Justin, our new roommate," I said, as he walked into the

living room from the stairs.

He wasn't bad for a freshman. He had that freshman "lost" look about him, but with an air of confidence that I could only hope to achieve. He had short brown hair, blue eyes, about 5"11, and about 170lbs. Very young looking, too. He smiled.

"Yeah, who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Joe. Nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand firmly.

I was not exactly looking forward to having a new roommate who I didn't know at all, but at least I wouldn't have to share a bedroom with him. That was Ed's job. I helped him and his parents move his stuff up, and before long, we were done. They stayed for a while to help him move in and settle in, but I had to go to work. I told them to call me if they needed anything.

When I got back from work, I walked in to find Justin, sitting in front of the fan, and watching the TV he brought.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," he replied. I opened the back door, and went out for a smoke.

"Oh, cool, man! You smoke too?" he asked, getting up off the couch, walking over to the door.

"Yeah, man Come on out!" I said, inviting him out. "We don't smoke in the apartment because Ro...." I immediately froze, shocked at what I was saying.

"Because of who?" he asked.

"Uh, nothing," I said, very quickly, lighting my cigarette.

"Oh," he said, looking at me strangely, which I couldn't blame him for doing.

I tried desperately to recover. "So, uh, Justin, what's your major gonna be?"

"Music jazz composition," he said.

"Woah! No way," I said. "Cool!"

"Yeah, really."

"Cool, I was one of those at one time," I said to him.

"Well, what are you now?" He asked.

"Communications, radio/tv/film."

"Cool! What happened to the music major?" he asked.

"Well, I changed my major three times," I explained.

"Three times?"

"Yeah, that's why I've been here for five years and counting," I said.

He chuckled. "Damn!"

"Yeah, I know," I answered.

We made more small talk about living on-campus, about what the college was like in general, and we finally got around to roommates.

"So, Paul told me you were a little crazy," he said.

"He did?" I asked, smiling.

"Yeah. But, he tells me that Kevin can be even crazier."

"Yeah, and put Kev and me together and you can get complete craziness!" I remarked, laughing. He laughed too.

"Well that's cool, man. I have one question though, and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to," he said, seriously.

"Yeah?" I asked, wondering where this was going to lead to.

"I may be wrong, but when I talked to Paul on the phone, he sounded kind of, uh..." He started.

"Gay?" I asked, knowing that's what he was going to say. Everyone says that about Paul. He's not exactly totally flaming, but he does has that feminine side to him.

"Yeah," he said, not knowing what to say next.

"Well, everyone says that," I answered. I wasn't going to spoil anything for Paul though, and I went on. "As far as I know, Paul is straight, so I don't think you have to worry, if you are," he said.

"Oh, good," he said, looking relieved. I could understand where he was coming from, but I was s till a little offended. I wanted to say, "But I am!" I thought against it though.

"Well, man, after I get some more unpacking done, do you want to go to the cafeteria to eat dinner?" I asked him.

"Sure!" he said, glad that I asked him along.


'We went back inside the apartment and I went into my old bedroom without thinking.

'Dude, that's my room," he said, from behind me.

I blushed and turned around and apologized. "Sorry, man, old habit!"

He laughed and I went into my new bedroom and turned on the radio, softly. It was the worst thing I could do at that particular moment. "Glory of Love" from Peter Cetera was on, which Dan and I had claimed to be our song. I closed my eyes and sat on the floor. I started singing along with it, remembering Dan and all the times we had together. As the song ended, I got up and went out for a smoke again. It was almost too much to bear, but I did!

We went to dinner, talking more about our pasts, where we were from, all that shit. When we got back, we talked about arranging the living room, which is what Ro and I did last year when we moved in together. It wasn't a very easy thing to do with Justin. But we agreed to keep it mostly the way it was and then settled into our rooms, and I went to bed, hearing Justin still in his room, going through his stuff.

"Joe, the Man!"

I turned around, "DAN!'

"Hey, man, how's life going?"

He was dressed in all white, with his blue eyes shining brightly, and a big grin on his cute face.

"Well, to be honest with you, it sucks, man. I miss you," I said, walking toward him.

"I'm sorry I left you Joe. But I really didn't leave you, man. I'm still here now, aren't I?"

"Well, yeah, but man, you're not here!"

"I know, babe. But I will be with you for the rest of your life, guy. I will be at least until you find someone else. But even then, I will still be around once in a while to make sure you're okay."

I started crying. "I'm so glad to see you, Dan. You look great, babe."

"Remember, man, I'm always with you. If you need me, just call out to me. I'll be looking out for you," he said, as he started drifting further away.

"Dan," I said. "Dan!"


I woke up, in the middle of saying his name. I was in a sweat, and tears were running down my face. I sat up in my bed, and smiled to myself. There was a knock at the door. I told him to come in.

"Joe, are you okay?"

"Damn are you still up?" I asked, looking at the clock which read 3AM.

"Yeah, I was just about to go to sleep, and I heard you yelling," he said.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice in the dark.

"Yeah, I'm okay, man. It was just a dream," I explained.

"Okay, cool! Later," he said, closing my door again.

I smiled at the image I got of Dan in my dream.

"I love you, Dan," I said, crawling back under the covers.

My alarm went off promptly at 8:00AM the next morning. I had to go into work, for the crowd of freshmen that was probably going to be outside the office for their long distance codes. It was hard work, but I did enjoy all the new Freshmen. I know I'm sick. But hey, what can I do? Luckily, there were still no classes until tomorrow. Don't ask me why the University decided to make us return for one day of class and then go directly into a weekend, but I stopped trying to analyze the way the college operated long ago.

I went into work, and saw my usual supervisors. Donna, my second mother and the mother of Jill, one of my closest female friends was there. Diane, the boss of the whole area, and Lucille, who was in charge of the support desk. I could go into detail about the specifics, but that would be just too boring for me to even write.

I had to weed my way through the line of freshmen, of course, checking them out as I went by. I got to the front counter. Diane was there, and gave me a look of "Thank God You're Here!"

I immediately went to work, and helped people sign there contracts, explaining how to use their code, and shit like that. Soon enough, a familiar face came up.


"Sean!" I yelled, smiling at Dan's little brother. "That's right! I forgot all about you moving on-campus this year." We had stayed in touch with each other over the summer, but for some reason, I was lost in my own misery and forgot he was coming to my school. I took a quick glance at him. God, he reminded me of his older brother. But at that point, I was too busy to think about that.

"What can I do for you?" I asked.

"Well, I just moved into my new dorm and I need my long distance code," he said, smiling at me.

I smiled back and went through the process of it all, and it was all over too soon.

"Call me, tonight, Joe," he said, as he walked out the door.

"Okay," I answered, going right to the next person in line.

I took one look at this kid, and almost fell flat on my face. He was so innocent looking, but so masculine looking at the same time. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and the cutest face. I had a hard time talking to him, but I got through it some how. I was just so taken aback by his looks. He had the sexiest voice I've heard since Dan. And that's saying a lot. I couldn't believe I was thinking that way about someone.

I got through the day without any major trouble, and headed back to the apartment. Kev and Paul should've been there. I had seen Justin earlier in the day, picking up his long distance code.

"Hey Joe," Kev said as I walked through the door from the stair ways.

"Kev!" I exclaimed, smiling. "How the hell are you?"

"Pretty good, man, pretty good."

"Cool. When did you get here?"

"Believe it or not, I got here right after you left I think," he said.

"Really? I didn't think you could get up that early."

"I just needed to get out of my house. I was about to kill my parents!" Kevin explained. Yeah, he can't stand living home for too long before he goes crazy.

I laughed at his explanation. "Cool, you wanna get dinner?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think Justin wanted to come with us," he said. "Justin!"

Justin came out of his bedroom and said, "yeah?"

"Yo, man, we're gonna go to the cafeteria. Wanna come with us?"

"Yeah, man," he said, smiling. "Let me get my wallet, and I'll be good to go."

"Cool," Kev said.

"Has Paul moved in yet?" I asked.

"No, not yet. I don't know if he's moving in today or tomorrow. You know he doesn't have any Friday classes anyway."

Yeah, I remember hearing Paul talking about it at some point," I said.

We all got together and went to the cafeteria, bullshitting all the way. It was fun. I felt good for the first time in a long time. It was awkward at some points because one of us would bring up Roland, and that sort of distracted us somewhat, but we had fun nonetheless. But then, Kev had to ruin it all because he had such a big mouth.

He saw me looking at the same blonde that I saw earlier in the day at work, and said, "You fuckin' homo!" with a smile on his face. I turned to him, and looked at him in shock. Justin just laughed, thinking it was funny that Kev was calling me a homo.

I played it out very nicely though, and said back to him, "Fuck you, you cock sucker!"

Kev knew he had overstepped his bounds and just laughed along with it. But he was so close to outing me the first night we were all together. I saw Dan's brother at the cafeteria too, and he came over and sat down with us for a little. It was good to see him again. We all left the cafeteria and went back to the apartment and Kev and I headed over to his frat house to get drunk, our first night back. :)

I knew all his frat brothers, and got along with them really well. I don't know if anyone of them knew I was gay or not, but it really didn't matter. I got along with most of them, with one or two exceptions when they were drunk. I knew I was in trouble when he came up to me, staggering.

"Joe, where's your bitch tonight?" he asked in the most demeaning way.

"Ah, she's home, recovering from earlier this evening," I answered.

"Aw, fuck you, Joe. Don't lie to me," he slurred. "I know you got a boyfriend, you're a fuckin' cocksucker," he said.

Kevin came up from behind and told him to "Shut the Fuck up, man."

I wasn't used to being attacked alone and it hurt so much. The truth was I didn't even have a boyfriend anymore. I drank that night, hard after that. I wish Dan was there. I didn't even have a roommate I could go home to and talk to. I wish a lot of things were different.

Suddenly, though, there was this group of freshmen that came to the door looking for a party. They were invited in. There were three good looking chicks with four good looking guys, one of which was that cute blonde again. Funny how you never see a face before, and then you see it all the time. I just stared with my mouth dropped.

"Put your eyes back into their sockets, Joe," Kev said, softly to me.

"I can't help it, Kev," I answered. By now I was trashed. "It's been what? Four months since I got any man! I'm starving for some," I said, getting loud.

"Shut up, man."

I walked away from Kev, feeling a little rejected but in my state, that was understandable. I walked over to where the blonde was, who was talking to one of his friends. I grabbed a beer and tried making eye contact with him. He looked up at me, and my eyes immediately darted away from his. I looked back at him though, and he was staring down my body. His eyes met mine, and I finally blushed and smiled a little, shyly and walked towards Kev. I saw him follow me out of the corner of my eyes.

"Kev, I need to talk to you," I said, standing next to him. "I need help!"

"Yes you certainly do, Joe," he said, patting me on the back and smiling.

"Well, there's this guy here that's looking at me, man. What do I do?"

"How the fuck should I know that? I'm not one of you!" he said.

"Shut the fuck up man. He seems to be following me now. Is he near me?"

"Yeah," Kev answered, his eyes focused on something behind me. "He's practically right behind you," he muttered. I smiled at him.

"Go for it, Joe," he said, patting me on the back and taking out his cigs.

I turned around and saw his face looking at mine intensely. I looked back at him, and I introduced myself to him.

I never though I would have to go through this again. I never thought I'd have to try to find myself another man. This really sucks if you think about it, I thought to myself.

"Hey," I said to him. "What's up?"

He smiled at me, and said, "Not much, what's up with you?"

I smiled at him, and said, "Nothin' man, just getting drunk tonight before school starts!" I held up a bottle of Bud Ice.

"Yeah I hear ya. By the way, I'm ...."

"....Louis, yes I know." I said, before he could finish.

"Hey, how did you know that?" he asked, amazed that I knew his name.

"Well, first of all, you look like Louis," I said. I don't know where that came from! My mind works in funny ways sometimes. "Secondly, I remember your name from when you came into the office to get a long distance code."

"That's right! I knew I recognized you from somewhere," he said, visibly lighting up.

"Yeah, man."

"So, do you make it a job of yours to remember faces of people who come in there?" he asked, smiling a devious smile.

"Only the ones who make an impression on me," I said before I could stop myself.

SHIT, I thought! I can't believe I just said that. I looked back at him, equally surprised that I had said that.

"Okay, then," he said, looking at everything but me.

"I'm sorry, dude, I didn't mean to say that," I said. "I don't know what came over me just then."

I turned away and started walking, but I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around again, my face a deep red, I'm sure.

"Hey man," he said, with his hand on my shoulder still. "It's cool. That's why I started talking to you. You had made quite an impression on me too."

Now we were both smiling big grins and I felt suddenly 18 again. "Did I?" I asked, being playful.

"Yes you did," he said, running his hand down my chest from my shoulders before he withdrew it. It felt so good to have someone touch me like that again.

"So, do you do this at every party you go to?" I asked him, smiling.

"Nope, this is my first college party I've ever been to," he said.

We talked a little about ourselves, and it was clear he wanted me after a few minutes. I wanted him too. I went over to Kev.

"Kev," I asked him. "How long are you going to be here tonight?"

"I don't know, fora bout another two hours, probably," he said looking at his watch.

"Cool. Give me that amount of the time in the room," I said.

Kev looked at me and said, "Gotcha!"

"Come on, Lou," I said to my new friend as I was walking out the door. Louis nervously walked away from the crowd and walked out the door with me.

"So, what do you want to do?" I asked Lou.

"Well, I was hoping we could go back to your place and you know, get to know each other a little better," He said, smiling that evil grin.

"OH really? Well, who ever said that I was interested in you that way?" I asked. "For all you know I could be a gay basher and beat you up," I said, talking from experience.

Lou looked at me with a frightened expression. I couldn't keep a straight face while looking at this cute boy. I broke up into laughter.

"Don't worry, dude, I'm gay," I said softly as we walked back to the apartment.

"Cool. So am I," he answered.



"Awesome, man," I said, putting my arm around his shoulders. He was about 5'7", I would say, and weighed no more than 140lbs. A nice proportion. I couldn't believe what I was doing, but loving every minute of it. I was drunk, I had picked someone up tonight, and everything was going right-so it seemed.

We got back to my apartment. Justin was in the living room. FUCK! I forgot all about him. Now how am I going to explain this one to him? Or to Lou? I began to slightly get panicky. We exchanged hellos and I took Lou into my room. As soon as that door closed, he was on me. This guy seemed to know his movements well. He grabbed my ass and the back of my head and forced me into a kiss. I didn't have any complaints about it at the time. We exchanged kisses for the next 10 minutes, rubbing up on each other's bodies, feeling each other up, he grabbed my ass a number of times. I was amazed at what he knew.

He quickly undid his pants, and took them off in one movement along with his boxers, revealing a nice sized cock for me to suck on. I sucked it up eagerly when he waved it in front of my face, and gave him an intense blow job. I sucked it all down. He was moaning softly in pleasure. He pushed me off of him and started to unbutton my shorts. My cock was fully erect and aching to be touched. He started stroking on it, raised himself and we kissed more as he was stroking me off. He licked his way down to my cock, and took it all in his mouth on the first try. This guy knew his stuff, I thought to myself.

"Damn, where did you learn how to do that man?" I said, softly and raspy. "That feels so fuckin' good."

He responded by sucking harder and faster. He was an expert, to say the least, and he had me wanting to come very soon. I was amazed. He actually at times felt like Dan, which I know I shouldn't have been comparing, but hey I'm human. I began to drift into a fantasy with my lost boyfriend and the effect felt even better. I cried out,"I'm gonna shoot, man!"

He kept sucking, showing no signs of backing off, so I began to thrust my cock in him more. "Ah, yeah, man, I'm gonna blow it in your mouth. Take my load, here it comes, Dan, oh yeah!" I said, as I unloaded hot cum into his warm moist mouth. He kept sucking away, and it felt so good. I opened my eyes to find Louis, slowly stroking his own cock. I took his cock in my mouth and sucked on it, and soon enough, he was ready for launching. I took it out of my mouth as he cried, "Joe, I'm gonna shoot my load." I kept stroking it, and soon, I saw hot cum fly up in the air and land on Lou's face.

"Damn," I said, watching him blow his second shot past his chest. He was done after four more shots, and I laid on the bed beside him. We sat there in silence for a few minutes, catching our breaths and listening to one another breathe.

He sat up and looked at me. "Joe, I've got a question for you," he asked. "Who is Dan?"

"Dan? How did you know there was a Dan?" I asked, totally confused at how he would know about Dan.

"Because you called out his name when you shot your load, man," he said, looking hurt.

It hit me as he said that, that I really did in fact say Dan's name. I was so caught up in the fantasy that I forgot who was really there for a brief second. I felt so bad.

"I'm sorry, Lou, man. I'm so sorry," I said, rolling over and hugging him. "I'm just so sorry," I said, tears falling now. I felt bad for fantasizing while this blonde twink was with me, and I felt bad that he now knew that I was fantasizing.

"Who is Dan? I feel like I deserve an explanation," Lou said, not looking too happy.

"Yeah you do, man," I replied sitting up on the bed. I paused for a second. "Dan was my boyfriend who I was really in love with. We had almost four wonderful months together."

"What happened, man?" Lou asked in concern.

"He was killed in an accident with my old roommate," I said.

Lou's face turned to shock. "Aw, man, I"m sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, it's been kind of rough. You are the first person that I've had sex with sine he died," I said.

"Well, that would explain your rush to get to the apartment," he said, laughing.

"Well, you were pushing me too," I said, smiling.

"Yeah I know."

"Well, so, now what?" I asked.

"Well, I hope you're not mad, but I'm just getting out of a bad relationship from high school, and I'm not looking for anything more than friends....and occasionally, you know..."

"Yeah I know," I said. "That's what I needed tonight, man. I'm not ready for a relationship either. You were so cute and hot though, I just had to have you," I explained.

Louis seemed to understand. "Yes, I know what you mean."

We laid there for a few more minutes. We heard Kevin coming up the steps and scrambled to put our clothes back on. We got them on and headed out to the living room.

Justin gave me a look of surprise and shock. I knew he had to have a clue of what was going on in there. Luckily, Kev started talking.

"Hey," Kev said to both of us.

"Hey," Lou said to Kev and Justin.

"What' sup?" I asked them.

"Nothin', just got back," he said, sitting down next to Justin on the sofa.

"Cool, I answered.

"So, you got some dick tonight?" he asked. I turned five shades of red with embarrassment and anger.

Sometimes Kev didn't think before he opened his mouth, usually he's good with it, but occasionally there is a slip. This was one of those occasions. Louis made an exit, I avoided looking at Justin the whole time, and I walked Louis to the door.

"Keep in touch, man," Lou said. "I live in..."

"Okay." I answered. "I'll call you sometime this weekend man."

I walked back up the steps. I took one look at Justin, and went out for a smoke. I mean, even if Kev hadn't opened his mouth, it would've been clear probably to Justin what we were doing there earlier. They both followed suit.

"Well, Justin, you don't have to worry about Paul being gay. Just me," I said, smiling looking down.

"Hey, man, I don't care what you do behind your bedroom door. Just don't involve me in it," He said, seriously.

"Cool," I answered, not happy with the answer, but it was acceptable at the time.

"Yeah, Joe, I'm sorry," Kevin said.

"Kevin, you know, sometimes I feel like killing you. But it always works out in the end," I said to him.

"Yeah it always does."

"Except for Dan and Ro," I answered feeling suddenly depressed.

"Yeah," said Kev.

Nothing more was said, really, and we all went to bed for our first day of classes tomorrow. As I was laying in bed, and sobering up, I felt guilty for cheating on Dan. It seemed more and more I thought about it, the more upset I became. I couldn't believe what I had done. But luckily, sleep crept in on me. And luckily my first class was at 12:30PM. :)

"Joseph Michael E." A voice said to me.

"What?" I asked, looking at something very bright coming to me.

"You fuckin' cheated on me," He said.


"Yep, in the flesh, Dan, the Man!" Dan, said smiling. He was surrounded by bright light, coming from in back of him. "You looked like you were having a good time tonight," Dan said, still smiling.

Suddenly, I felt a wave a guilt go through my body.

"I'm sorry, Dan...I'm sorry.."

"Hey, man," he said, still smiling, and soothing tone. "It's no big deal. I mean, I'm gone. I'd be a fool to think that you wouldn't start looking for more. You're a hornball Joe. You get cranky if you don't get any for a while," He said, laughing.

I said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know."

"Though I don't really approve you of picking someone up at a frat party and sleeping with him before you really knew him," he said, looking into my eyes.

Funny, but I heard this wonderful, soft music, floating in the distance. It was almost too phoney to be real.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, man. I was drunk, and I..."

"It's okay, dude. You're free man, you're free!"

"But I don't want to be free, Dan. I want you!"

"I know. That was pretty flattering that you were fantasizing about me tonight," he said grinning.

God I missed that grin. "You knew?!"

"Hell yeah, I was having a good time watching you, man. You haven't lost your style at all," He said.

"Thanks, Dan."

"Dan?" I asked.

"Yeah, babe?"

"When will I see you again? I mean, you pop up at the most strangest times. I've only seen you like this three times since you left," I said, tearing up.

"Babe, I'm only here when you need me here, man. Remember that. I'll always be here with you. Even if I'm not visibly present, I'm with you." he said, looking lovingly in my eyes.

"Cool," was all I said.

He turned around, looking back at me, and started walking away. I felt a warmness come over me and felt secure at the moment. I smiled back at him, as he faded with the light.

Well, there's part II for you. I hope you enjoyed it. Part III will be coming sometime soon, hopefully. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, please send them to SNJBoy21@aol.com Thanks!