Date: Mon, 02 Jun 2003 15:00:40 -0700
From: Steve Thomas <s4d@hotmail.com>
Subject: Denny-Comes-Out 10

This is a fictional story. It is based on many experiences and fantasies
of the author. If you are really into graphic sex, it may not satisfy
your purpose for coming here. If you like to hear of real love and real
teen angst, with a little sex thrown in, you are in the right place.
There may be some amount of graphic sex between males. If this is
objectionable to you, or you are legally too young to be here, you are
cordially invited to press your back button.

Characters: Denny (Dennis Andrew Miggs), 20

Garth Roth, 22

Randy Small, 24

Bob, Denny's Brother 3 years older

Gail, Bob's wife

Jack, Denny's oldest brother, 9 years older

Jack's son's, Jacky, Bobby And DennyToo

Denny's dad, James

Denny's mom, Carol

Ray, Denny's dad's Deputy D.A. friend

Randy's mom and step dad, who shall remain nameless!

Roddy, Flight Attendant

From Chapter 9:

"Okay, Randy here's the deal." I told him what Garth had said to me. He
was alternately sad and bewildered -- as I was -- and also livid. He said
he couldn't believe that Garth would lay that on me.

"He told me not to wait."

"That's bull shit! If he didn't want you to wait, why did he tell you
all of that? That fucker's manipulating you!"

"Calm down!" I said. Some of the other passengers were looking our way.
"Look! I don't see it that way. And besides, I'm glad he told me. I
would have forever wondered if he really loved me or not. Now I know."

"Still, if he loved you so much, he would have shut the f - " I gave him
a sharp look. "Sorry."

"I told him I'd wait." I said, waiting for the explosion. It didn't
come. "No promises." I added

"Well, I -- I'm sorry, but I don't see it your way -- but I will try to
`take care' of you, as he asked." He squeezed my hand, then grabbed his
coat and put it over our hands. I looked over and there was the most
incredible look of obvious love on his face. He kept hold of my hand.

I silently mouthed "I love you" to him, and squeezed his hand back.

Chapter 10

Roddy was there at the door to greet us as we left the plane. As we
neared the door, Randy put his hand on my shoulder, as we passed Roddy.
Roddy smiled his biggest smile, and winked at me. I was sure that it
wasn't missed by Randy, as he squeezed my shoulder just after that.

In the car: "He is cute!" Randy said.

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about!" I answered,
playfully.

"I think you should call him!"

"What -- and tell him I want him to meet my friend?"

"NO! For you! You need a diversion. Anyway -- you said that you told him
it would just be friends."

"Well, maybe -- but I intend on waiting for Garth's decision."

"How long?" He demanded.

"*SIGH* I don't know. Not forever, I suppose."

"Well, call him -- just to be friends."

"Maybe I will."

When we got home, there was a message on the answering machine:

"Good! You have a machine! This is Roddy -- (You know - the flight
attendant?) I know you can't possibly be home yet, but I wanted to say a
few more things to you before you left. There was not enough time. When
you get this call me if you can. Doesn't matter what time. I have odd
hours anyway. See yah!"

I looked at Randy. He had a very pleased look on his face. "Shut up!" I
said.

"Well?" he exulted, "You can't just be rude, now, can you?"

I dialed his number. "Hi, this is Roddy! Leeeeeeeave a message!" BEEP!

"Okay, I guess we get to play phone tag! This is Denny. (You know, the
guy on the plane?) Heh! As if I would forget! Well, I won't give you the
same option of calling me at any time. Sorry, but it's 9:30 and if it's
past 10:00 PM I'll be snoring, I hope! I have class at nine in the
morning, so if you wanna call about 8:30 I can talk quick. Laterz!"

"Laterz?" Randy said.

"Hey, if I gonna be one, I may as well speak the lingo!"

He shook his head at me. "*Sigh* As long as you don't start to swish!"

I shook my butt at him! "And what if I do?"

"I won't let you suck my dick again!"

"Don't promise anything you can't back up!" I retorted.

"I give up!" And he did. He shed his clothes and went into the shower. As
soon as he turned the water on, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Denny?"

"Roddy?"

"HI!"

"Hello."

"Do you want to meet for -- lunch or something -- maybe next week?"

"I don't know, Roddy. I guess it might -- um -- you see -- I'm kinda --
I'm sort of waiting for -- Aw shit! (Sorry!) Okay! When is a good time
for you?"

"Well, I am in town this Wednesday and Thursday, if it's not too soon.
You pick the time."

"I don't have any classes til 2:30 on Wednesday. Why don't you come
about -- lets say -- 10:30ish?"

"Great! Give me directions and I'll be there!"

I told him how to get to our dorm room and we said goodbye. For some
reason, I decided not to say anything -- yet -- to Randy. He had a long
day on Wednesday, so he would not even need to know.

When Randy came out of the bathroom, he was careful to cover up before he
slipped into bed. I went to the bathroom and showered. It felt great to
stand in the hot water. I couldn't help thinking of showers that I had
taken with Garth. I tried to think of something else. I wondered what it
would be like to shower with Roddy. He was nearly as small as Randy, but
not as well built. I felt guilty -- almost dirty -- thinking of him,
while I was supposed to be waiting for Garth. I got out when I was
finished. When I opened the door, Randy had turned off the light. He
wasn't asleep. His breathing was still ragged and quick. I slipped into
my bed. It felt good to be home in my own bed, nothing on, between my own
sheets.

I lay there, torn about my thoughts. It felt to guilty to think of Roddy,
so I couldn't help thinking of Garth. The more I thought about him, our
last conversation, how tortured he was, the more upset I got. Nighttime
is always the hardest. First tears started to squeeze out of my closed
eyes, then I started to breath harder, then I couldn't help letting out
a big sob.

"You want me to -- hold you, dude?"

"Mm-hmm" is all I could manage, in a high pitched moan.

He came over and I felt the coolness as he lifted the sheet. He snuggled
up close to me. He was also naked. He put his upper arm over my waist and
then up my torso, his hand on my chest. I just kept weeping. He squeezed
me and whispered. "It's gonna be okay, Dude. Just let it out." I did,
but not too much. We fell asleep that way.

For the first time since we had occasionally slept together, he was not
clinging to the edge of the bed. We woke in the same position was fell
asleep in. well, almost. When we fell asleep, there was nothing poking me
in the butt! Since his arm was around me, and I didn't want to embarrass
him, I just turned over and pretended to stay asleep. My turning woke him
up, and he rolled out of bed. As he disappeared into the bathroom, he
said, "Time to get up Dude!" When he walked back out, he was still half
staff. I wondered if he knew how that made my insides clinch.

Monday and Tuesday were a blur. We didn't speak again of Roddy, because
I never told Randy about our date. Well, maybe not exactly a date, but ^Å

Wednesday morning, Randy had a 9:00 AM class, so I was not surprised that
he was already gone when something woke me up at 9:30. I lazily looked
over at Randy's unmade bed. That was unusual. He always was meticulous
about making his bed. Then I heard it again. What woke me up was a gentle
tapping on the door. I got up and opened the door a crack. There stood
Roddy, with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry to come so early, Denny. There was not as much traffic as I
expected. I guess all the bad traffic is earlier."

"It's okay," I lied, "Just give me a sec." I closed the door and whipped
on some boxers. "Okay, I'm decent."

"Oh damn!" He quipped. I was hoping you would be indecent!" He had a
delicious smile on his face. Here in my own room, he looked even cuter.

"Roddy, I don't want to lead you on. I was not too concerned, because
the commute for you, here, was not that bad, even if there had been a lot
of traffic."

"What's up Denny?"

"I'm kind of -- well -- waiting for another -- I mean a good -- (Shit!)
My -- er -- lover -- is going through some bad shit, and I just -- I'm
sort of waiting for him."

"You mean Randy?"

"No, his name's Garth. He is the reason I was flying when we -- er --
you saw me." I turned around, looking for something to throw on. "Hey,
make yourself comfortable -- on the bed or the chair -- and I will be
just a minute -- quick shower."

I went into the bathroom, took off my boxers and turned on the hot water.
Then I turned and on the mirror was a note:

"Denny -- got a call from my mom. Something bad's happening there with
the ass hole. I gotta go. See you tonight!"

I panicked! I bolted out the door and to my phone. As I dialed, I saw
Roddy watching me, wide eyed. Then it hit me I was completely nude. My
dad answered.

"DAD! Randy has left -- I'm not too sure how long ago -- for his mom's
place. He got a call from her and apparently his step-dad is threatening
her. I guess. He didn't go into details in the note he left me. Will you
call Ray and see what he thinks? Call me back!"

I hung up the phone and was shaking. I looked at Randy, then down at my
nude body. I started to apologize. "Hey, it's okay with me!" He grinned.
"The view is great from here!"

"Roddy, I'm sorry, but I have a very bad feeling about what is
happeneing. Maybe we better postpone this `til some other time. I gotta
go to my friend out in Garden grove."

Roddy looked disappointed and concerned at the same time. "Look , guy,
you look too stressed to even try to drive. Let me take you, and maybe
you can fill me in on a few details as we drive."

I was stressed! Too stressed to argue with him. I threw on yesterday's
sweats and a clean tee, then my Nikes. As we were leaving, dad called my
cell phone back. "Denny -- Ray's on his way over there. Nothing we can
do. I'll let you - "

"Dad, I'm already on my way," I lied, "I'll come home, and then maybe
you will know something else by the time I get there."

"I'll be here. I was on my way out the door to work when you called, but
I'll call in. Bye."

I crashed out the door of the dorm at a full run. "Damn car is half way
on the other side of the campus!"

"Denny! Wait! My car is right here in the visitors' lot. We'll take
it."

I was too preoccupied to even notice at the time. He drove a BMW Z-3.
Light blue convertible. As we pulled on to the freeway, "Okay, what's
going on, Denny?"

I told him the skeleton of the story of Randy's violent step-dad. I
didn't mention the sexual abuse. Man! Roddy knew his way around the L.A.
freeways! He wove his little car in and out of traffic with the expertise
of a seasoned cab driver. Before I knew it, We were at my folk's place.
I phoned dad when we were near, and he met us outside.

He looked at the little two-seater and said, "Come with me!"

Roddy said, "I'll follow." He seemed to know I needed to be alone with
my dad.

As soon as we got into the car, I could see that Dad had a worried look
on his face. "It's bad, Son. He shot Randy's mom and Randy -- then
turned the gun on himself. Randy is the only one who is still alive --
barely. He is at the hospital, still in emergency."

Just then Dad's phone rang. "Yeah? Yeah. Uh hm -- we're on our way now.
Okay. Five minutes!"

"That was Ray. Randy's out of the emergency room, but is now in
intensive care. Foolish kid. Did he think he was going to be a hero or
something?"

I started to cry. "Denny, it's okay to cry, but sometimes you have top
control it! If Randy is awake and conscious, he'll need you to be
strong."

I realized he was right, and stopped crying. "God, I hope he's okay!"
was all I cold say.

"You didn't tell us anything about your trip, Denny. How'd it go?"

"Well, kind of better than I imagined, but - - - I won't know for
awhile. Garth is struggling a lot."

"And who is the guy in the Beemer? A classmate?"

I didn't want to have to explain to my dad. "Sort of." Luckily we were
at the hospital. We nearly ran to the emergency entrance. Dad asked where
Randy Small was.

"Intensive care. Are you a relative?"

"No, but - "

"Well, no one but relatives - "

"He HAS no relatives!" my dad yelled, then calming, "Where is the
intensive care unit he's in?" Just then Ray appeared. "James! Over
here!"

We walked to Ray. "Come with me. He is asking for you, James. I told him
you were here."

I was glad to hear that he was conscious enough to ask for -- what? My
dad? Well, I was a little disappointed. Maybe he needed a dad figure
right now. My dad surely had shown him a lot of love the weekend we
stayed there.

When we got to the room, only Ray and my dad were allowed in the room. I
sat and put my head in my hands. I was about to let loose, then
remembered what Dad had said. I caught myself. I started deep breathing.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Don't hyperventilate, guy. Roddy said. We
don't need for you to pass out right now!" He squeezed my shoulder. That
almost put me over the edge again.

"Denny!" Ray commanded. "Come in! Randy wants to see you." I started for
the door. I don't know if Ray could read my face or what. "He doesn't
need preaching right now -- only your love."

I walked through the door and to Randy's bed. He looked up to me -- and
with effort, said, "Pretty stupid of me huh?" His head was wrapped in a
bandage. His right eye was completely red. "The bullet was -behind my -
eye. The doc said it was -- too close -- to entering my - brain. Miracle
-- you know?"

"Thank God!" I said. "Is there -- is there anything we -- I can do?"

"I could -- use -- some -- of your - energy." I turned and looked at the
doc. My dad was whispering something in his ear. He nodded to me. I bent
over and half lay on his chest, not any weight -- and his arms came up
around my neck. He pulled himself up with more strength than I imagined
he had. I wrapped my arms around his back. He squeezed me in a death
grip. I looked in his eyes. They were overflowing with tears. "Sorry,
Dude. Can't seem to help it!" I lay my head on his chest -- mostly so he
could not see my own as they sprung from my eyes. Then he went limp. I
nearly dropped him. I looked and he was out like someone had flipped a
switch. He stopped breathing. I gently put him down and the doctor moved
in and put two fingers at his neck. The doc shook his head. Just then,
Randy took a violent breath and started breathing again.

"Guess he was not ready to go!" The doc said. "Nurse, I want constant
observation on this boy. Everyone else, please leave the room. He seems
to have fulfilled whatever need he had to see people -- for the moment.
He will need to rest now." He followed us out. "Is there anyone who can
stay" the doctor asked. "If -- when he wakes up, it would be good to see
someone he knows."

"I'm not leaving!" I said. "Dad, if you want to go to work, I can --
want to -- stay."

"I -- okay." Dad said. "That would probably be best anyway." He hurried
out.

I turned to Roddy. "I'm sorry Roddy. You may as well go. I'll get e
ride back. Call me later, k?"

"Okay. But if it's all right with you, I'll stay awhile longer. I've
got nothing else planned anyway. You might appreciate the company."

I couldn't argue with him. I really wanted to be alone, but I also
didn't want to be rude. As if reading my thoughts, he added, "I won't
bug you if you want to just veg for awhile. I know what that's like,"

"That's okay." I said, "I guess I would kind of hate waiting by myself."
Okay, I lied!

As soon as my dad and Ray were gone, I leaned back and closed my eyes.
Roddy spoke up. "You haven't eaten anything this morning. Can I go out
and get you something? Or maybe there is a cafeteria here."

Actually," I started, "There is a cafeteria in the basement. But I don't
want to get that far away. But -- there's a Jack-in-the-Box a block
further, down the street. Maybe a sourdough jack would be okay. Thanks.

He left. The room was nicely darkened. I finally was left alone, and
could let some of my own frustration out. I closed my eyes, and the tears
just started to flow. I didn't cry vocally, just a gallon of tears, or
so before I fell asleep. When I awoke, there was a sourdough jack and a
Pepsi on the table, but no Roddy. I was curiously looking around, as I
took my last bite of my sandwich, when the nurse came out of Randy's
room. "Oh, Mr. Miggs, you're awake. Your friends are in the room."

I sprang from my chair and ran to the door. I stopped, took a big breath
and pushed the door open. Roddy was sitting on the edge of Randy's bed,
and they were talking very animated. Randy was actually smiling. When he
saw me, his smile waned. It was like I had brought him back to real life.

"Randy! I'm sorry to cause you so much trouble." I wondered if he knew
about his mom. "Dude! This is Rod Stewart!"

I grinned. "I know!"

"Yeah, but what you don't know, is that he went to Garden Grove High. He
was a year behind me! He was such a little boy when I graduated, I
didn't recognize him on the plane!"

I almost laughed! He STILL looked like a little boy! Then the two of them
both laughed at my expression. "Randy was on varsity ball team. I was
JV!" Roddy said. "I didn't think he knew I existed. But he did!"

"Well, with that name, everyone knew you!" And Randy laughed again. "I'm
surprised you didn't know him, Denny. He was a senior when you were a
freshman."

"Hmmm - -nope!" I felt kind of lame.

"I think the only reason you knew me was because I played JV ball." Roddy
said. "I looked barely old enough to be in jr. high!" They both laughed
again. I felt left out.

"When you came in, we were laughing about how the other guys hated both
of us!" Randy said. "We actually got more attention from the girls than
they did -- because they thought we were so `cute'!"

"And cuddly!" Randy added.

"Funny thing was," said Roddy, "I was not the least interested in them!"

"I was!" Randy interjected. "I completely mistook their attention! I
wanted so bad to hit on them! They just thought I was cute -- and GAY!!"

"Hah! They KNEW I was gay!" Roddy said. "And you know what? They never
told any of the guys! I think the coach knew -- but he liked me as first
baseman, so he kept my secret."

"So," I said, "You knew -- back then?"

"Oh, I knew all right. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel
different. By the time I was in high school, I figured it out. What I
can't figure out, looking back, was how the other guys didn't know! I
was so obvious when I stared at them in the locker room!"

"They loved that!" Randy said. "They were so proud of their (well most of
them) newly enlarged anatomy!"

Randy scrunched up his face. A lock of hair was making it itch. Roddy
gently brushed it up with his fingers. The look that passed between them
brought such a surprisingly strong feeling of resentment out of me!

But that was not the worst!

Roddy told me he was changing his flight schedule, so he could stay and
help Randy with his studies! I felt - - betrayed -- no! Jealous! And I
felt stupid and petty! I should be glad! I was, after all, waiting for
Garth.

Right?!!

That didn't make me feel any less deserted. The doctor walked in.

"Hey, Randy. Remember me?"

"Of course I remember you, Doctor!"

"The nurse told me you were feeling better, but I didn't expect you to
be so animated! This is good news."

"So, I can go home?"

"Oh, no!" the doc said. "We still need to keep you for up to a week -- in
case of any secondary symptoms -- especially watching for infection. But
we will move you out of the ICU tomorrow morning. I'll be back a little
later to look in on you." The doctor exited. I stepped out and caught up
with him.

"Doctor!"

"Yes?"

"Doctor -- does Randy know about his mom?"

"Yes. We told him. But I suppose he will deal with it later. I'm so glad
you guys were here to divert his attention!"

I went back into the room. "Your dad said I would be coming back to your
house when I get out of here." Randy said. "I guess we're more like
brothers than ever now, with my mom - -" Tears sprang from his eyes.
"Damn! You know, she sucked as a mom! I mean, really! I told her what was
going on and she either ignored it or didn't believe me. I hated her for
that! But she was -- um -- she was -- my mother!" he started to blubber
like a baby. I wanted to much to hold him -- reassure him. But Roddy was
already doing that! Luckily neither of them caught me glaring before I
checked it myself.

Roddy said, "Listen, guy," he was speaking to Randy, "I need to get Denny
back to the dorm. But I'll come right back as soon as I drop him off."

I felt completely powerless. How had I lost control of my life! I was the
one who was supposed to be consoling and taking care of Randy, but how
could I complain when I was supposed to be waiting for Garth. I swallowed
my pride -- and nearly choked on it! Roddy talked a mile a minute on the
way back to UCLA. I didn't even think he noticed how quiet I was.
Finally, as I was getting out of the car, "You gonna be okay, guy?"

I wasn't very enthusiastic as I said, "Yeah. Thanks for the ride."

He drove of, leaving me in the parking lot of my dorm. I looked up, to
gather enough strength to walk up to my room, without attracting
attention. As soon as I got into the room, I hit my bed and it all came
out like a dam had burst. I was disappointed, hurt, pissed off, confused,
and disgusted -- with myself. It was 6:30 in the evening. I was just
about cried out, and almost asleep when there was a knock at my door.

I ignored it at first. I didn't want anyone seeing me like this. Then
the knock was more insistent. "Denny!" It was my dad. "Open the door,
Son!"

"Just a minute!" I ran to the bathroom and washed my face then went to
the door. It was dark in the room, so I hoped he would not see my eyes.

He saw them. "I thought you might need some company. You didn't look too
good this morning, and I stopped by the hospital. I put two and three
together and probably came up with four, but I just thought you may need
to talk a bit."

I opened the door further and he came in. He saw me and just stretched
out his arms to me. I was there in an instant! I was wrong! I DID have
some tears left in me! He did not tell me to stop this time. It felt so
good just to be held by my dad! He let me finish my emoting, then he
spoke.

"Denny, I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. But I know
you must feel -- well -- very mixed up!" I let him keep talking. "I of
course knew why you went to Kansas City. I also saw the way you looked at
this -- Roddy was it?" I nodded. "I also saw the way you looked at Randy!
Looks to me like you have some decisions to make! Can I help you in any
way, Son?"

We were on my bed. I just kept my face on Dad's chest. I shook my head.
"I don't know, Dad. "You're right. I am very confused! I should not
have made that date with Roddy!"

"That was a date?"

"It started out that way. It got interrupted by Randy's -- emergency.
And I felt so shitty -- sorry -- guilty because I was supposed to be
waiting for Garth to make up his mind. But that guilt seems to be a moot
point now. It looks like Randy and Roddy really hit it off. I should be
glad. Shouldn't I?"

"Denny, you're 20 years old. You have the rest of your education to
finish. You don't have to be worrying about who you want to -- love --
yet. BUT! I know you are! Do you know how I know? Because I can still
remember being your age. With me it was three girls, but it has to be the
same. Maybe I can give you some perspective. When you are a few years
older -- not many -- you will look at this and smile. You will see that
it was so obvious what the solution should have been. But now you can't
see it!"

I looked at Dad. He was smiling. "But, I said, "What is this obvious
thing that only I can't see?"

"I didn't say that only you can't see it. But later on it will look
like it was obvious. Just trying to show you a different perspective. I
know I have not been as close as I should have, maybe, but I want you to
know that any time you want to talk -- well I can now be here for you."

I just sighed and hugged him closer, and put my face back on his chest.

Notes: Are you as confused as I am? Probably more than I. I, at least for
this once, know where this is going! But I ain't tellin'! Comments
welcome! To Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Please write "Denny" in the subject
line. Thanks and love! Steve