Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2003 13:16:59 -0700 From: Steve Thomas Subject: Denny-Comes-Out-Chapter 15 This is a fictional story. It is based on many experiences and fantasies of the author. If you are really into graphic sex, it may not satisfy your purpose for coming here. If you like to hear of real love and real teen angst, with a little sex thrown in, you are in the right place. There may be some amount of graphic sex between males. If this is objectionable to you, or you are legally too young to be here, you are cordially invited to press your back button. Characters: Denny (Dennis Andrew Miggs), 20 Garth Roth, 22 Randy Small, 24 Bob, Denny's Brother 3 years older Gail, Bob's wife Jack, Denny's oldest brother, 9 years older Jack's son's, Jacky, Bobby and DennyToo Denny's dad, James Denny's mom, Carol Ray, Denny's dad's Deputy D.A. friend Randy's mom and step dad, who shall remain nameless! Roddy, Flight Attendant Rollie, Garth's dad Rob, Garth's cousin Tad, the new roomie From Chapter 14: We came back out of the bathroom. Tad was standing there looking defeated. "So what's the verdict?" "Just this." I said and I wrapped my arms around him, and Randy got on his back. As we were standing there, the three of us in a warm and wonderful hug, Tad moaned a little. I looked over tad's shoulder into Randy's eyes. He winked at me. I smiled and closed my eyes. Then I felt lips on mine. My lips parted and a tongue came in. It was such a warm passionate kiss. I was taken somewhere else for a moment. I slowly opened my eyes, and saw the blissfully closed eyes of Tad, as he slowly ground his groin into my own, and moaned some more. Then I looked past him and Randy was looking directly into that eye, with a mischievious "HA! I gotcha!" look in his eye. I closed my eyes and broke the kiss. "You're pretty sneaky, aren't you, Tad?" Tad's eyes were still closed. "Mmm?" He looked like he was somewhere in heaven. "Tad!" I said, more emphatically. He slowly opened his eyes, and smiled. "I MUST be gay!" He said, dreamily. "I didn't EVEN expect it to be that good!" "Tad," I said, cautiously, "I have kind of committed myself to Randy." Randy was still behind Tad. I looked deeply into Randy's eyes. He looked cautiously expectant. "I -- just -- don't want -- to hurt either of you." Randy said, "I'm open to anything tonight." "Well," I continued," I don't want to give Tad too much -- um -- encouragement -- or hope. I like you Tad, but -- I don't want you to -- that is -- I'm afraid you might get -- too attached to me -- or -- us. I don't want you to be hurt." "I promise I won't. It's my birthday. If it's okay with you -- both -- I'd like to -- do something -- with you -- guys!" I looked dubious. Randy said, "It can't hurt anything, can it. Just this once? For Tad's birthday?" I probably shouldn't have given in. Randy was 4 years older than I was, but his family was so screwed up, that he had no point of reference -- like I did. All he knew was that this young kid was hurting -- like he himself did -- and probably still was -- and he wanted to apply some salve to Tad's wounds. I gave in. We had a three-some , none of us knowing what to do exactly. But we did it. We all ended up sucking on each other and finally each getting off by another's hand. As we showered together, there was complete silence. We went to bed, Tad in his, and Randy and I together. As we cuddled together, we heard sniffling and then some sighs and so Randy whispered to me, "I'm gonna just go hop in with him." I was okay with it, but I felt very lonely that night. Chapter 15 Brrrring! I looked at the clock. 7:00 AM Brrrring! I answered it sleepily. "Hello?" "Sorry to wake you, Denny, but I didn't have Tad's number. Does he have a phone?" "No, but there is the room phone. Who's this?" After an exasperated "tsch" from his mouth, "It's Rod!" "OH! Sorry, I'm still not quite awake." "Is Tad awake?" "DUDE!" I answered. "Everyone's awake now." "I said I was sorry -- I just didn't want to miss you -- er -- him." I wanted to tell him to just fuck off, but I handed the phone over to Randy -- who was still in Tad's bed. "For me?" Randy said. "No -- it's for Tad!" I said with a scowl. "It's Rod!" Randy pressed the privacy button and asked Tad if he wanted to talk to Rod. Tad screwed up his face, then said, "I guess so." "Hello? - - - Really? Thanks! Yeah, we did. But - - - but - - - well, I'm not sure - maybe -- what's your number -- I'll call you back after I wake up a little. No, that's okay. I have an early class, and actually we overslept - - yeah yeah -- something like that! Okay, got it! See yah!" and he hung up. Tad looked at me first, with a bewildered look. "What did he want?" I said with perhaps more rancor than I meant to reveal. "He wants to see me again. -- sometime." Tad said. "And?" I asked "And?" He repeated. "And he asked me about tonight. He wants to drive me down to his place at the beach. What kind of place does he have?" "I don't know -- and I'm not sure I want -- well, I guess you're of age now -- and you have to decide for yourself. But - " "But -- what? Do you know more than I do?" He asked. Randy spoke up. "I DO! I saw him in action last night. Dude, I don't think you wanna get too close with him." "I know, but I can be careful." "So - - - you just want to -- what?" Randy asked, sounding exasperated. "I'm not even sure. But last night proved to me -- at least -- that I LIKE what we did!" I felt a deep regret when he said that. I looked at Randy and he couldn't look me in the eye. So I knew he felt the same. "Tad, we can't tell you what to do, but -- I feel somewhat responsible -- for -- sort of -- taking your virginity -- of sorts." I had no idea where I was headed with this! "Hey!" He said. "I can take care of myself!" I think I pushed too hard. " `Course you can!" Randy quipped. "We just want you to be careful. We care about you!" "I know." Tad said looking down. He then went to the room phone and called Rod back. "Yeah, hi, Rod. Sorry I missed you. If you get this before this afternoon, let me know. Call the room number and leave a message if I am not there. Then hopefully you will be in range when I call back. Oh! By the way -- I'd like to see your place tonight -- if the offer's still good." I looked at Randy, and he scowled. Tad hurried into the bathroom and got ready and ran out the door to class. "Whadda yah think?" Randy said. "I don't know. I hope we didn't -- well, show him too much last night!" "Hell!" Randy said. "We hardly knew what to do! Well at least I didn't!" "Me neither!" I said defensively. "Garth and I did little more than we did last night. But I've never been in a 3-some -- and it was Tad's first time!" "Yeah." "And - - - " "Yeah?" Randy said expectantly. "Randy, I didn't like sharing you -- much!" "Really?" He sounded vaguely pleased. "Really! How did you feel about that?" "Oh, I -- well -- I dunno. I kinda liked it!"   Well, I have to tell you -- that hit me like a ton of bricks. After telling Randy I wanted him to myself, he hits me with -- well that he -- didn't feel the same. That hurt. I tried not to show it. By the time we got back from classes and with Randy back at part time practice with the team, It was well past dinnertime. There was a note from Tad: "Guys. Roddy picked me up after my last class. He was waiting for me when I got back. See you tonight some time -- probably! ;-)" I shook my head! I handed the note to Randy. He read it and said, "I just BET he was waiting!" We fixed ourselves some dinner and then started to study. Then it hit me. We were alone. I quietly got up from my desk and tiptoed over to Randy, who was reading intensively. I started to massage his shoulders. "OHHhhhh! Please stop that -- sometime tomorrow!" he crooned. I bent down and with my hand tilted his chin up. I then planted a wet one on him, and he responded with gusto! Studies were forgotten. We nearly ripped each others' clothes off, and he began so suck on my neck and then came back to my lips. I started to massage him again -- do I need to tell you where? He moaned a little and the part I was massaging flexed my hand out. That made a bit of precum surge up and out of me! I pushed him down and was unzipping his pants when the phone interrupted. "Let it go to message!" I said and I continued to take his pants down, and then as I was slipping his boxers over his throbbing hardness, the machine came on. "Hey guys," said a very forlorn sounding Tad. "I am at a gas station down here. I - " Randy grabbed up the phone! "Hello?!! Yeah! What?? That ass hole! And -- what? Okay slow down. You're at -- near his place? No we've never been there! Okay what are the cross streets? No! No problem! We'll be there! As soon as we can!" He hung up the phone. "We gotta go get him. That ass hole took him home all right, and there were three other guys waiting there to show Tad what an orgy is!" "So - - - Is he in any danger?" I asked' "No. He is at this gas station, and the kid running it is very nice. He said not to get in any accident getting there." "That -- that -- I can't believe him! Rod really is fucked up, isn't he!" It wasn't a question! "Yeah and he tried to fuck up our little bro -- our little buddy!" "Hey, Randy -- since he isn't in any immediate danger -- uh -- I have a huge test tomorrow. I just couldn't let the moment pass with you here all to myself. Are you okay going to get him by yourself?" "Sure dude!" I threw him the keys to my car. He put his clothes back on, went in and quickly brushed his teeth, and left. For all the studying I was able to get done, I may as well have gone with them. Randy left about 7:30 and they didn't get home til 11:00. When they came in, Tad looked stunning -- better than I ever saw him look. His eyes were slightly sleepy looking and he had a hint of a shadow of beard on his cheeks. His hair was slightly disheveled. "Hi, Denny. Sorry to cause so much trouble! You guys were right. I shouldn't have gone." I let my question, "so where have you been since 8:30", pass. Randy got undressed and fell into bed! He was asleep in seconds. I looked at Tad's beautiful face in front of me. He shook his head. "I'm sorry -- I -- It wasn't supposed to happen." I didn't ask what "it" was. I turned my back to him, and sat down at my desk and tried to study for my test. Tad went to bed too, and I was left alone to my studies -- and my thoughts. My silent tears dropped onto my textbook, smearing some of my notes. Finally, around 3:00 AM I climbed in beside Randy, completely spent. His back was to me. He rolled over and kissed me on the cheek, his eyes still closed. "Thanks for tonight, Dude!" he groggily said. As I was wondering what he was thanking me for, he added, "I love you so much, Tad." I felt cold through to my bones. I felt more alone I think, than when Garth left. Actually cold was not what I felt. What I felt was a deep nothingness. Like I may as well not even exist. I justified what they did -- or must have done -- I was not sure what it was. I realized they had so much in common! I got up as quietly as I could and climbed up to the upper bunk. But I didn't sleep at all. I was staring at the ceiling when the radio came on. I heard rustling down below. Randy's head popped over the side of my bed. "What's up, dude? He said. Then he saw my tear stained face and my red eyes. "Denny, I - " "It's okay, Randy." "But - - - what - " "You told me you loved me -- so much -- as you went to sleep. But you called me - " Tears began anew. "you called me Tad." "Oh. I -- uh -- I don't -- uh know what to -- uh -- say." "You don't have to say anything. I can't say I didn't see it coming. I chose to ignore it." "So -- you're okay with it?" "Do I look like I'm okay with it?" "I'm so sorry, Denny. You -- and your family -- have done so much for me! I feel like pond scum!" I don't know what's wrong with me. I wonder if I will always let people walk over me and justify that it's not their fault. "I -- I mean we -- that is -- there were no promises -- remember?" was all I could say "Your test! Dude are you gonna be - " "I'll be fine." Yeah -- if feeling like a piece of shit just ran over by a steamroller is "fine"! "I'll get by." I got up, and headed to the shower, making it as hot as I could stand. I got out and dried off. It was like I was on auto-pilot. Tad was awake when I got back into the bedroom. He looked at me with very sorrowful eyes. I walked to him and thrust my arms around him and pulled him close, burying my head in his neck. He patted my back. I patted back. I was breathing as deep as I could, afraid that any minute I would break down. It was then I felt a warm body close in on my back. Randy surrounded me on the other side. His face was on my back. I felt my back getting wet, as I then felt and heard Randy heaving huge sobs. I could hold out no longer. I let it out one more time. After about five minutes, I snuffled up all my snot and wiped my tears and then said, "Well, I gotta go take my test." "But," Randy said, "You -- look like shit!" "You know what?" I said. "For once I don't give a shit! NO! It's not you! You guys seem to be made for each other -- if you can deal with all your cumulative shit you bring from your families." I really didn't mean for it to come out bitterly. Then I added, "As I said, Randy, I'll be okay" And I left to get a cee on my test. That night I came home late. I walked around for a long time after band practice, found some dinner, and walked some more. I wondered what I was doing wrong. I cried. I found a private place -- under the bleachers at the empty football field -- and screamed my rage. I reasoned that it was not my fault, but then I kept wondering if I was being punished for something. Was I really true enough to Garth? Or even Randy? I cried some more and it was after 11:00 when I came back to a dark room. I quietly slipped out of my clothes and into my empty bed. After my eyes grew used to the light, I looked over at Tad's bed. Only Tad was there. I was confused. Then Randy shifted in the bunk overhead. I lay quietly for a long while, feeling numb. Then tears just started to flow. I tried to close my eyes and squeeze them off, but they kept coming. I turned toward the wall and was almost asleep when I felt warmth at my back. "I'm so sorry, Denny. So DAMNED sorry!" Randy whispered. "And confused! I -- don't know myself. I don't wanna lose you as a friend. Dammit, I don't even wanna lose you as a lover. But Tad just is so - - ! I -- I -- (SIGH!) I'm completely confused." If he was confused -- well so was I. I was trying to go through then process -- and now -- now I was being dragged back into the dark place. When would it stop? I snuggled a little closer to Randy and he sighed again. "I'll leave in the morning." It wasn't Randy. I turned around and Tad was kneeling on the floor in front of my bed. In the dim light from the streetlights outside I could see his face was glistening. So was Randy's. Well, so was mine! "Nope!" I said, emphatically. "We will get through this. And unless it is too bad for you -- well speaking for me -- I want you to stay" "He speaks for me too, Tad." Randy put in. Tad was quiet for an uncomfortably long time. Finally, I said, "What's coming up for you, Tad?" "I -- uh -- I can't explain it. I just don't understand. Have you ever read the Old Testament -- the book of Genesis?" "I have." I said. "Why?" "Well, in there, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob all had multiple wives. I feel so attached to both of you! If it was okay for them ---and they had children to deal with -- why is it wrong for me -- if I -- want to love two guys? I am physically attracted to both of you. And you have both treated me better than anyone in my whole life. What is so wrong with -- you know -- the three of us?" He paused for only enough time to take a breath and give us a chance to speak. Neither of us could. We were dumbfounded. HE continued. "Of course I can't speak for either of you -- but I want you both. If a choice has to be made, I can't do it!" "It -- it -- just -- seems -- so wrong!" I finally said. I was actually considering it -- trying to fabricate it -- as a logical solution, but it felt wrong. His argument seemed flawless, but - - - it was dealing with men and their wives. "I think we are so programmed by what our parents tell us!" Tad continued. "If it was up to them -- any of them, I'll bet -- They would say that even two guys together is not -- not okay. Your parents love you, Denny, and they try to be nice in dealing with your -- gayness. But I have to bet that if they had their choice -- you would be better -- not gay." "Well," I said, "If I had my choice -- I would choose not to be gay, too! But I don't -- and I am!" "But that's exactly my point." Said Tad. "With no children involved, the rules are out the window! None of us can get pregnant -- unless one of you is really good at hiding something! So why not three. It seldom works out with two -- and it may not with three -- but why not try?" "He may have a point, Denny. I know I don't want to give up either of you. Why should I have to because of antiquated morality that doesn't even apply to us?" So it all hinges on me! "I don't know. I JUST don't KNOW!" I said, exasperated. "I -- feel -- the same -- as you do -- emotionally. But - - - I just -- let me -- sleep on it. But don't -- expect -- an answer in the morning! I WANT to justify it -- I do! I just don't know if I can." "Here's something else to think about, then." Tad said. "In the Bible -- and for that matter, more recently, the Mormons practiced it. But it was always multiple wives -- never multiple husbands. Why do you suppose that was?" "That would be total confusion!" I said. "No one would know who his daddy was!" "Exactly!" Tad exulted. "But there would be no such confusion -- with us. See how different our situation is. You just can't compare it to heterosexual coupling." "I'll think about it. That kind of makes sense." I wondered to myself if others were doing it. Well others had to be -- but how many?" Without being asked, Tad climbed over me so that I was sandwiched between them. It felt so right -- physically -- even emotionally! "Tad?" "Yes?" "I never asked -- but - What is your -- major?" I asked. "Law." "Figures!" I said, shaking my head. I had very active and confusing dreams, none of which I could remember. Something to do with Garth sleeping with all of us, my mom and dad looking worried, an old man in a robe (Abraham?) scowling. My brother Bob was there too, seeming to look on in wonder. We woke up a few hours later, when the radio came on. I was still sandwiched between the two of them. I gave Tad a squeeze, and giggled as I squeezed Randy's woody which had worked its way into my butt crack! "I think I have an answer for you," I said to them both. Notes: What answer? Can it ever work? A sustained threesome? Should it? So many puzzling questions! If you want to comment, Please put "Denny" in the subject line, and send it to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Thank you, and Love, Steve