Date: Wed, 4 May 2005 20:19:48 +0200 (CEST) From: Marcos Rojas Subject: Disovering Love (College) Welcome to this adventure of feelings. Reading your story should bring you into a world of young men dealing with several problems including their sexuality. There will be scenes with explicit sexual content describing homosexual sex. If you are not allowed to read this, or feel uncomfortable you shouldn't read it. All characters are the product of my fantasy. Should there be someone who recognizes himself in one of the characters please mail me. It would be nice to meet my fantasies! :-) Still these characters remain just like this story or any part of it exclusively mine. Marcos ************************************************************************* Discovering love Good bye England By Marcos Rojas "The greatest love of all is happening to me, I found the greatest love of all inside of me, "The greatest love of all is easy to achieve Learning to love yourself It is the greatest love of all." Whitney Houston "Muy buenas dias senor! Es tardito y Usted ya tiene tantas cosas que hacer hoy!" (Good morning sir! It's late and you have so many things to do today!) With that the curtains opened and the allied forces of the bright light of the Sun and of the shrill voice won the fight against the boy's dreams. He was unexpectedly brought back to real world. The little Hispanic girl went on and on talking. "Yeah, yeah, Rosita! Just get out, please! Let me sleep!" the boy said covering his head with the pillow. "Sleep, sleep and sleep! Dios sancto, Usted siempre duerme y estudia!" (Dear Lord, you always sleep and study!) "Whatever, just get out!" A really pissed answer came. "Rosita go out! Rosita come! Rosita go! And Rosita do laundry! Pero cuando? I need these sheets ahora!" with that she firmly grabbed the cover and pulled it down. "Now this is a sight! It makes it worth working here!" Rosita thought raising an eyebrow and checking the boy's body out. "Are you fuckin' crazy? How dare you! I said get out!" the boy turned and took the remote control from his night-table and pushed the button. The music filled the room and the whole room started shaking following the rhythm of the bass. "Dios mio! Se volvio loco!" Making the sign of the cross and kissing Santa Rosita on her necklace Rosita left the room running as if she has just seen the Devil. This was the best way he could get rid of the girl. The morning was ruined and he now had no other choice but to start his awful day. He still had his eyes closed as a gentle hand touched his naked shoulder. "Get out Rosita or I swear I'm goanna just kill you and not let padre Domingo bury you!" "Oh well my son, I see you're making new friends!" His dad started laughing. "Dad!?! What are you doing home at this hour?" The boy asked rising on his elbows and turning towards his father. "I just wanted to make sure you get up early enough." Jean took off his reading glasses and smiled down at his son. "As if I had something important to do here..." The boy tried to protest but his dad didn't let him finish. "That subject is closed mon cher, now let's get going! You have the list with what you have to do on your desk! Move it!" He said pushing his son's beautiful young ass. "I give up..." The boy got up, stretched, and while yawning scratched his chest. His stretched body was a view and Jean loved his son's body. He was his entire life and pride. Standing at 5'90" he was a real Adonis. His son was the perfect way to remember his lost youth. Just looking at him he could see himself in his best years. The shower started and Jean was brought back from his daydreaming. He looked for the remote control and turned the volume down leaving afterwards his son's room. Jed took his time showering. In the morning he was always horny as hell and in this new home of his wanking was the only fun he could possibly have. A little smile appeared on his face as he took his 21' manhood in his right hand and slowly started playing with the foreskin. He wasn't cut and he was glad he wasn't. He had to thank that her mother. Being a doctor and coming from an ancient English family she couldn't possibly allow her only son to be cut. This wasn't right. Jed slowly stroked his cock leaning against the cold wall. He closed his deep blue eyes, enjoying the warm water running down his back. The day already was hot, he needed this little refreshment. Soaping up his left hand he slowly touched his abs playing with his well-proportioned balls. A slight moan escaped his mouth as he touched the area between his asshole and his balls. He knew he was close. Closing his right hand's finger creating a tight tunnel he sped up. His mouth opened, but he tried pushing his teeth together. There he was only one step away from his Nirvana. He knew just what he wanted but he also enjoyed pushing himself o the limit. The face of the guy being fucked in the video he watched last night made it even more unbearable. It was time and he slid his index finger up his ass. This was the final impulse his body could take. His back arched and his beautiful muscles showed the intense pleasure he was dealing with. A loud groan escaped. He couldn't be quiet during his orgasm, he needed to show what he felt, this was his way. He shot only four times. No wonder, since yesterday was his day at home and he spent it playing his little friend, junior Jed as he always called him. His body still shaking he started cleaning up trying to relax his tensed muscles. Orgasms always brought him over the limit and took control over his body. He knew that and took his time recovering. He dried up and went over to the mirror. He kind of liked what he saw. He was a strange combination of French and English beauty, and yes he was a gorgeous boy! Turning 20 in a few months he still enjoyed being a teenager and used this excuse to act like one too, when he was feeling like it. His strong black hair made it difficult for him to have the haircut he always dreamt of, so he just had his normal masculine short hair. He hated his hair always giving him trouble in the morning. His skin was white, maybe too white for European standards but way too white for South-American ones. He couldn't really enjoy a sunbath without using the strongest lotion. What he loved were his blue eyes. His mother used to tell him that he had the most expressive eyes a boy could have. "These eyes will break a lot of hearts! No lady will resist them!" he still heard his mother's words. It was only a year ago he lost her in an accident. They lived near London in the castle of his mother's family, both his parents worked in the city. His father as the executive a multinational company was a successful businessman, her mom an appreciated surgeon. He never cared too much about what his parents were doing, he was just living in his fantasy world on the big estate not really having friends but having an army of employees ready to help him with everything. He was a spoiled child very happy in his own selfish world but faith had other plans for him. After his mother died he suffered a first shock and just couldn't get over the events. It was his dad who took his son's life into strong hands and started guiding him. A lot happened during that one year and both father and son got through the first phase of pain. At least Jed thought so. At that time he didn't know the real relation his parents had. His dad's strong rules helped him though and broke his stubborn nature. He dedicated himself to learning and had within no time the best grades. Finding the only thing that brought him satisfaction he continued studying hard and was I his third semester studying English and Hispanistic. His dad didn't want to change this particular decision of his son. He knew there was enough money for him not to worry about his son's surviving. He let Jed do what he wanted to and he was right, the results were obvious. There was a second reason too, but this particular decision was already made. It was made long time ago and Jean used his son's free career choice as a favour his son owed him. So there was practically nothing Jed could do or say as his dad announced him they will be moving to Buenos Aires to start a new life. At the beginning Jed didn't really care, but his nightmare begun in Argentina. He still could remember their arrival here. The crowded airport didn't really bothered Jed, he actually played with the idea of having a new start in a foreign country. It would have been just okay without THIS particular details... IT was his father's girlfriend, a 40 years old Latin lady, very beautiful in her way as a woman. The kiss at the airport made Jed suspicious but there was more to come. At the beginning it was natural to have the woman in their home, he guessed it's just a sort of secretary or transitory help in the process of moving and accommodating. But at the very first dinner his father had more surprises for him. "Jed, mon cher, I have something to say to you. This isn't easy to say and you might and should have some questions. Your mother and I didn't really have a marriage since you turned 10. It was that longer trip of mine if you still can remember. Those six months I actually spent in France away from your mother. We hoped time could help." Jean saw his son blushing and his anger growing inside him. "Do we have to speak about this right here and right now? I think family stuff needs to be discussed IN family." With that he gave a looked thirsty for some revenge at Anita. The lady just gave him an understanding weak smile. This made him even more furious. "NO! We ALL will talk about this, because we ALL here are family now!" Jean stretched the words. He knew this was enough information for his son to keep him calm. Jed knew he reached the limit and couldn't go further. He was supposed to play the listening good son now. He looked straight at his plate pushing with his fork the potato deeper into the sauce almost like an act of drowning someone. His dad shook his had gave Anita a quick frightened look and went on. "That year in Paris I met Anita. It was love at first sight. It was everything what your mother and I didn't have. You very well know from Grandma that our marriage wasn't meant to be. There were other reasons we married but love. Anyhow I lived the romance of my life with Anita and after returning to London I made a pact with your mother. I wasn't going to lave her to save the appearances if she was going to give me freedom to spend time with Anita. Being the great woman you know Lizzie understood and agreed. So we were living under the same roof for almost eight full years till the tragedy happened." At that point Jed moved his eyes locking them with his dad's never moving his head and still playing with his potato-victim. "Don't go there Jed, you know I respected her and I missed her. We still had a good friendship, if we hadn't had it, it would have been hell on Earth to live under the same roof. This wasn't the case and that you know better than me. Now after one year I decided it was time to move on. Of course for you it wasn't that easy. Don't take me wrong, but someday you'll just understand, to loose someone whom you only once loved isn't that painful as loosing the person you adore. So here we are in Argentina now and I know it takes a great deal of accommodation for you but I can't wait till eternity either, I have a life of my own. Anita and I have a relationship based on love and compromise. She lived in this gossiping world nine years long waiting for me. Now it's time I give her the satisfaction to be able to look straight into people's eyes." At this time Jed once again looked at his father. This time his eyes were full of anger and hate. Jean saw that coming. "Before bringing one of your famous spoiled boy scenes on stage I would remind you on the education your mother gave you and at the truth she always said Beware of this and act like a man Jed." Both Jean and Jed realized it wasn't the best way to get this through but things were happening, there was no turning back now. Jed fought his anger back and once again looked down at his plate. As a protest he stopped playing with his fork putting his elbows on the table and started demonstratively playing with his family-heritage, the ring with the coat-of-arms of his mother's family. This was the gift for his 18th birthday from his mother's parents, from his british grandparents. Jean only rolled his eyes. He knew English nobles aren't easy to defeat. "As I sad I shall give Anita my name and a family. We shall celebrate our wedding within three months and you should start dealing with it now." "You honestly don't except congratulations from me, do you? Or do you need my blessing? That won't happen! Not in this life! There will be no happy son standing next to the altar!" Jed said fighting with the few weapons he still possessed. "Well son this is your decision! But let me tell you this: there will be a young man who had taken this maturely, not like you. Your stepbrother acts more like an adult as you, although he is only 16. And he has lost his father too, all right, and he still can behave and take things like a man!" This caught Jed off guard. A stepbrother??? That was way too much! "You are so sick! I can't believe this! I need to get out from here!" Jed turned and left his mind spinning. It took him a month to start talking with his father again. By now on the day before the wedding he accepted there was nothing he could do. He got used to the idea but accepted only the physical presence of Anita. Rosita's voice brought hi back to reality. Still staring at his face in the mirror he was in his bathroom, naked as he was born. Wrapping a towel around his waist and evil grin appeared on his face. He really hated Rosita. He hated girls who were in love with him. He was gay and knew that for some time now. He wanted that girl out of his room. Filling a glass with cold water he went into the room. Rosita was next to his bed talking in Spanish about him being so lazy and not having any kind of respect for her "patronsita", that being Anita. Jed just couldn't see her. "Mira, el senor < now at all >!" Rosita said swinging her hand in the air giving expression to her feeling in all possible ways of course never taking his eyes off of Jed's abs and muscular chest. "Know it all Rosita, se dice Know it all, eh? Y deja de desnudarme solo con tus ojos, quieres?" (And stop undressing me with your eyes!) "Por que tu a mi no me gustas para nada!" (Because I don't like you at all!) With that Jed poured the water from the glass on Rosita's tits. The girl was in shock. She looked at her wet jewels, at Jed and again back down. "Ahora largo!" (Now get out!) Jed yelled and turned around going back to the bathroom. He could hear Rosita start crying, but he just couldn't care less. He needed some time to fix up his face. He enjoyed looking at his eyes. They had the deepest colour of blue. His eyelashes were long and as black as his hair. These weapons of his have been in action and he made many girls blush just giving tem a look. He could give a look as cold as ice but also a very warm look, reminding on the late October clear sky filling one with warmth and the fulfilment of the fall. He had to shave twice a day to look fresh, but he enjoyed his five o'clock shadow. It was a pretty contrast to his blue eyes and his white skin. A quick look at his perfect white teeth, and the towel landed somewhere in the bathroom. He never looked where he left these utilities. It wasn't his job to take care of it, was it? Jed did have a hobby and that was shopping. Not being exactly the soccer jock he needed something to fill his time. No too self content but still knowing what he got was just perfect he liked to present his body in the best way. So he picked the best clothes he could, money certainly wasn't a problem. Being January it was just awful hot. Summer on the Southern Hemisphere made him sick. He never thought he would get to celebrate Christmas in T-shirt and shorts. After a longer search he picked white flax trousers sitting just perfectly on his abs but being wide enough on the lower part so he could get some air, and a deep blue T matching just the color of his eyes. "Some perfume and I'm good to go!" He took the list from his desk and without even looking at it he threw it into the waste-basket. He wasn't going to do the shopping! Not for THAT wedding! Once out his room Jed headed to the dining room to have his breakfast. It was already 11 but everyone knew he wasn't a morning-guy. He had his first shock in the hall. "Hey buddy! Is this Central Station or what? Watch out!" He yelled at a young guy frightening him to death. It was obvious he didn't speak English. The hall went silent and all stared at Jed. Now this was a good way to begin his day! "Fuera! Largo todo el mundo!"(Get out! All of you!) He yelled indicating with his right hand the direction. The men were still quiet and showed sign of confusion giving each other puzzled looks. "Joshua Edouard! May I talk to you?" Jed just rolled his eyes! Miss Third World was home! Jed hated to be called like that and Anita kept on doing it. "I guess I don't really have a choice now, do I?" Jed said entering the dining room not looking at Anita. She quickly said something to one worker and followed his stepson. "These men are decorating the house for the wedding tomorrow, so I would be thankful if you wouldn't give them any orders. Go do your shopping or whatever it takes to calm you down, but don't show the whole world how tough you ca be Your Highness!" It was just a little game of theirs. Anita started calling Jed Your Highness after hearing the miss third World stuff. This type of communication was the only one possible between the two of them. With that she left. "Now look who we have here! My little brother!" Jed said not bothering to look at the young man sitting at the dining table going through some lists. "Hello Jed! Did you sleep well?" "Oh, and also social today!" Never looking at the boy of course. "What are your plans for today?" The boy ignored Jed's comments. He knew he would eventually get bored of teasing him. "Since when do I have to tell you about my program? Raul Angel Sanchez Fernandez. Hah!" It was always about drawing the line on the pyramid of the social system between the two of them. Jed came from a European family with tradition. In his eyes Raul was just a starving one from the Third World. "I was just thinking..." Raul was feeling uncomfortable. Yet he tried to maintain a conversation. "You were THINKING? Wow, can you do that too? Since when?" Jed was in a real bad mood and that just got wore with hi losing authority in front of Miss Third World. "Could you help me with these table arrangements?" Raul finally forced himself to ask this. There was a glance of hope in his sad black eyes. "Forget it pal! Never in this lifetime! I can't do a thing to stop this wedding but I damn sure never will accept the two of you as real family members!" It came all natural. He didn't need to look at Raul. He couldn't look at him, it was just too much for him! "Are you done with talking or I'm out of here? Hell, bloody forget it, I'm not hungry anymore! Happy now?" Jed stood and left the room heading to his car. This car was his baby, a BMW Z3, he was just in love with it. Two seconds and he sped away. Out of this damn house! Raul silently gathered his papers and went into his room. He didn't want to see his mother so he used the emergency stares. Once in his room he locked the door and let go of his tears. He hated himself. Why was he doing this to himself? "Do I deserve only this kind of treatment?" Raul sprang on his bed, face-down and started crying even harder. His entire body was shaking. He wasn't as tall as Jed, just about 5'60" with a darker skin, black hair and an exotic Latin face. He was a strong boy on the outside, but he broke down each and every time he was alone. Jed made his living a hell and that had several reasons. The opinion of other has always been very important for Raul. He used to be a fat little boy. The laughing and the jokes made him suffer and he decided doing something about it. And he succeeded. He wasn't a professional, but yet was a very good tennis player. He also had a daily sport program to maintain himself in his best shape. Raul still remembered the first tie he saw Jed. He got used to the idea of having Jean as a father, since his own left his mother before he was born. This put both Anita and Raul into a bad light, the community rejected them. That's when Anita came to Buenos Aires and by chance got a good job. Being a very good employee and working maybe too hard she made it to one of the leading positions of her company. They had the money, and then there was Jean too. Raul never understood why Jed acted the way he did. Being very anxious to meet his brother, one he always wanted to have he was warned of what was going to happen. At that point he thought that just can't be! Jed can't be such a bad person! Well he was wrong. It was a week after Jed had that awful talk with Jean and Anita. He still wasn't talking to his father but was forced to meet the boy. "Jed, let me introduce you to Raul Angel, your stepbrother!" Jean said. "Hello Jed! Nice to finally meet you! You are just the way I imagined you would look like!" Raul said kind of nervously. "Great, another monkey! Wait a minute! That bracelet! Dad, this can't be!" Jed grabbed Raul's hand with fury in his voice and his eyes cold as an arctic storm. "Oh, Dad gave this to me for Christmas last year!" Raul said enthusiastically. "Dad? Hey listen you, you, pah! This is MY dad and not YOURS! Got that? And the bracelet, Dad, I can't believe you did this to me! Am I equal to a stranger in your eyes? I can't believe this is happening!" With that gone he was. Jean embraced Raul. "Now son, this is Jed. Told you he isn't the kindest person! But give him time! And don't let those words get you down! I love you just as much as I love him! Never forget this! Not only flesh and blood matters! Love means much more than that. Unfortunately Jed's grandparents aren't helping me in getting this idea through to Jed. He has this noble blood and his grandparents enjoy it. He will get to love you, you'll see!" "Never in this lifetime is he going to love me!" Raul said quietly. At the beginning he hated me. He yelled at me but at least he was thinking about me, but now, now there is only this indifference! It kills me!". He buried his beautiful face into his hand. The phone started ringing. Raul didn't bother to wipe the tears from his eyes, he just held his black locks with his left hand and answered. "Hi Raul!" A happy voice said! "Hi yourself sexy girl!" Raul acted happy for the situation. "How is Anita? Is the house full? I would love to be there! Is Jed there too?" Well now there was Erika's key question. "Why doesn't this surprise me anymore?" Raul thought. "The answers are: good. Come on over. No." He just knew the answer. "Oh, he isn't there. Well, you know I have some things to take care of. Maybe I'll stop by later today. Be a good boy lover!" "Always! Bye!" Raul hung up. Erika was a pretty girl, a very strong personality. She always says she gets what she wants one way or the other. Her parents being diplomats in Argentina they lived in the gated community of Buenos Aires, like most foreign citizens and rich people from place. She had a first crush on Jed the first day she saw him on one boring dinner. Being Jed in his normal way she didn't have a chance, but there was this shy, sensitive Latin boy, not bad at all but still definitely NOT Jed, a quite easy pray and the best opportunity to get close to Jed. Raul didn't mind. The relationship never got physical and Raul enjoyed how Erika was trying to get Jed. To Raul her purposes were more than obvious but he played along. It was a chance to see Jed in this odd situation. Raul left his rooms heading to the mail hall to ask if he was needed. He had his room in the west wing. Jed had his in the east wing, both rooms being large and with a considerable lateral terrace. It was a choice of the "adults" to put the boys is equally large rooms, but that they had a view on each others window was no part of the plan. Yet Raul loved it being able to watch Jed's light go out sometime late in the night. He was frustrated. The hours passed as he had lots of things to take care of. It was dinner-time and yet no news from Jed. Normally he would finish his shopping tour by 5 and then return home spending some time behind closed doors and listening to music, to loud music. Raul loved Jed's music. It wasn't the tough kind like Jed, it gave a very caring person away. Raul was sure that there has to be more than just that spoiled jerk. He just needed a way to get trough that wall surrounding Jed. The hours passed and still no Jed around. Jean and Anita went out to take care of some last minute things leaving Raul alone. That normally didn't bother him, he was talkative but there was no time he could say he felt bored. There was always something to do. This time it was worrying about Jed. He checked the parking lot but no sign of Jed's car. The waiting was killing him. He needed to do something and soon! He brought down his notebook to the pool and made himself comfortable trying to do some creative writing. He had Biology as a major but yet he loved to write, especially his diary, his e-diary. It was his only true friend, he could be completely honest and open when writing. There was a very complicated system of passwords, nobody could break them and read the text. The heath became bearable and Raul glanced over to the big sun-clock. An hour passed. It was time to check again. He logged off and went straight to the parking lot. There was Jed's car. The car still radiated warmth, so Jed must have just arrived. Raul went upstairs but there was no music. He didn't dare to knock on Jed's door. He looked worried through the big window in the hall. There was something going on in the garden. He saw the plants moving. "Has to be Jed!" his face lit up. In no time he was in the garden. The house was very close to the beach though a bit higher on a hill. In the back of the garden was the panorama view where there was the barbecue place and a smaller pool. Tropical plants made this place very cosy, it was like a little perfect world. Raul loved the gardener who planted these ficus trees and the herbs underneath. It was just fabulous. He used to come here often and it shortly became his favourite place. It was his escape from the rest of the world. Raul slowly made his way through the plants not following the artificial track. To his surprise Jed was sitting just on his favourite place holding something in his hands. Raul tiptoed towards his stepbrother. He could clearly hear he was crying. "Wow! My brother does have a heart!". He froze. "OK smart guy, he has a heart all right! But what to do about it? Don't want to spoil my only chance. This is a unique chance!" His mind was telling hi to leave but his heart took control over his body. "I need to be here with him!" He slowly went closer to Jed and sat down next to him. "Oh God, not even here can I be left alone!" Jed rolled his eyes turning away and quickly wiping his tears away. "No need to do that. It's all right to have human feelings." No this was new! Raul couldn't believe he was telling this! Since when was HE in position to tease Jed? "Are you trying to tease me? Isn't goanna work! I'm goanna hurt your feelings. Like I always do." Jed said not taking his eyes from the ocean. "If that helps you it's fine with me. But it won't bring back your mother you know. She was a pretty lady." Said Raul pointing at the picture Jed was holding in his hands. It was a big try, an awful big one. "Thanks!" Jed looked at Raul for the first time. He didn't understand his reaction. Normally he would have run away but now here he was talking to this stranger who in less then 24 hours will become officially his brother. Raul turned towards Jed and gave the boy a weak smile. He still was insecure about all this and didn't want to push it too far. He looked away not wanting to scare Jed away. Jed kept on staring at him. There was something exotic on Raul. He couldn't believe it. He wanted to take his eyes off of him. He wanted it so bad. But he couldn't. Raul's face showed quick concern, fragility and guilt. It was wonderful to see all these emotions on his face. Jed was surprised. "This guy also has feelings!" he realised. "This is my favourite place. The sunset is just wonderful here." Raul tried to break the silence. Kind of insecure he went on. "During the first weeks I used to come here a lot. I had to get used to the new situation you know..." His looked so vulnerable. Jed almost could read how hard these first days most have been for Raul. He was scared. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Jed felt weak. This picture didn't fit into his system. He needed the old Raul, the one he could tease and hurt, the one who kept on disturbing him. He needed an object of hate so much! And right now! He was in his deepest emotional deep. He looked at the picture. His mother was smiling. "You need love Jed! Don't let the hate take over your soul! Love is the most beautiful thing, but you can't feel love all by yourself. Don't be afraid my love! Love doesn't do you any ham. And you will know when you find love. Love WILL come to you in one or another form and you will just know. You will know at that moment, that he's the right person." Jed's eyes filled with tears. His mother had told him this on the last afternoon they spent together. "God she knew it all! Without me saying a thing!" His eyes filed with tears. "Whenever you need me I'm here for you..." the voice of Raul brought him back to reality. Jed couldn't hold back his tears. Raul gave him a worried look and hesitating for a few moments slowly put his hand on Jed's. Dealing with all these emotions were too much for Jed. "Oh dear Lord he also has a body..." Jed realized. He was scared and deeply ashamed. He never thought of Raul as of a human being. He just was there, eating, living, but there never has been a physical or spiritual contact between them up to that moment. Jed turned his head. Raul understood. One last strong squeeze and gone was the comforting hand. Jed wanted to beg Raul not to leave, but he couldn't move. He heard Raul silently leaving. To be continued ************************************************************************* Thanks for reading! Comments and suggestions always welcome! Marcos (tulindobebito@yahoo.es)