Discovering the Self    

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is an old story, earlier posted at under the same title. I've made minor changes and am now reposting it at

At 6'2", blond hair and blue eyes, simmering muscles and bronzed good looks, I was the ultimate super stud... all male and macho; virile and confident in my masculinity. A brilliant student and a star player, I was also very popular, the cynosure of all eyes (female and male) wherever I went.

And being equally well endowed I had, having been 'discovered' by my mom's best friend at sixteen, numerous young (and not-so-young) girls eagerly climbing into my bed in a never ending line to savor my equipment and my talent, and returning for seconds having tested my prowess between the sheets (and their legs)...

I also attracted a large number of those pitiable fags, those miserable queers; whimpering for my cock, desperately desirous of sampling what they had glimpsed in the locker room... or had heard tales of. And being someone who was never averse to experimenting with erotic pleasure, I occasionally, on lonely nights, took one to my dorm bed... letting them to pleasure me, slobber all over my sculpted body, worship my phallus; allowing them take it however and wherever they desired, pleasuring them... after all, a willing mouth was a willing mouth, and a snug orifice was a snug orifice, no matter to who it belonged. But I never got real intimate with guys, if you know what I mean, not the way I was with girls... and kissing was a big `NO'. Proud, yes... conceited, probably... but I was having my cake, and eating it too!

And then suddenly I was faced with the worst crisis of my young life...

It was a Friday and I was at a friend's party and as I walked in with my date draped over my arm, the usual horde of girls came rushing, trying to draw my attention, in the hope that maybe they could soon wriggle their way into my bed... But I was in no mood for such frivolities on that particular night; a lot had been going wrong at work, and there was a lot of uncertainty, and I had only agreed to come because Angela, my date for that night, had insisted that we go and I didn't want to disappoint her. It wasn't that I was depressed or down, or something like that, rather, just not in the mood for partying.

After the customary salutations I walked out into the garden, going to the far corner and taking a seat... thoughtfully sipping a beer. And as I sat there watching the crowd dance and generally enjoy themselves, I noticed a strikingly handsome young man across the manicured lawn, leaning against the balustrade, observing me.

About my age, and about the same height, he didn't look familiar... and though I tried to recollect, I decided that we had never met before... and neither was he one of those numerous guys that had warmed my bed...

He caught my eyes and giving a slight smile, sauntered over. "Hello Brad," he smiled, extending his hand.

'Brad?' How the hell did he know my name? I didn't even remember seeing him, ever. He saw the look in my eyes and laughed.

"Can't remember, eh?"

I shook my head looking into his amazingly green eyes, "Sorry, but I don't recollect having met..."

"Well, Owen... Owen Hunt." he smiled again, cutting me short.

I looked on, blank and then I blinked... GOD! Don't tell me... This was OWEN HUNT? Incredible, absolutely amazing! Again he laughed at the look on my face and nodded with a slight shrug of his broad shoulders.

Owen... Owen Hunt! This couldn't be real... it had to be a joke. Owen was the skinniest and smallest kid in our class, real tiny and the butt of all the jokes. He was ripped apart each day and pushed around till he sniffled his way home at the end of the day. The boys were cruel, very nasty and loved putting him through the grind. And being a young boy I too joined in, though not very willingly, but following my peers just to be a part of the gang... on the right side. I did feel sorry for the kid, but never intervened or protested. He was miserable, the boys made sure of that. And then, with school over for the summer break, he just vanished... They moved out of the neighborhood and we learnt later that they had in fact moved out of the state.

"Yeah, I'm that same Owen..." he said snapping me out of my reverie, "... the butt of all your jokes. OK, I also remember you were a silent observer... never really participating in the degradation of the tiny little 'ass hole' as you all loved to call me," he sat down on the bench by my side.

I turned a bright red... embarrassed. Jesus, you never expect to be reminded of such things and that too, by the victim himself...

"I'm... I'm really sorry Owen... but..." I started.

"Oh, that's OK. You don't have to feel sorry or guilty after all these years," he said magnanimously with a wave of his free hand. "And besides, it did me a whole lot of good as you can see..." he added spreading out his arms wide and looking down at himself.

I smiled... relaxing a bit and he laughed again. A real happy sounding laugh, infectious... and I was soon joining in.

"You do indeed look great." I said.

"Think so?" he asked with a lopsided grin.

I nodded, taking another swig from the bottle and realizing with surprise that it was already empty.

"I'll get you another," he said standing up.

"Thanks, don't..." I said.

"Another one wont hurt," he smiled as he turned towards the house returning shortly with a bottle of beer for me and a glass of something for himself.

"So..." he started, sitting down again, "You look good too... What have you been doing?" he asked.

I was totally comfortable now and we began to chat... some old time but mostly the present. I told him about myself, my work and he told me about himself... but vague...

"Come with me..." he suddenly said.

"Oh, no... I have a date..." I replied not too enthusiastic about going out with him. He wasn't exactly an ol' bud that I wanted to meet and chill out with.

"Hey, tell her it's an old friend... school buddies. I'm sure she'll understand," said he.

"I have to drop her..." I tried desperately.

"Well, leave your car here and we could drop her before we go." and smiled again.

This guy smiled a lot... and a good, healthy smile at that. He could make you feel good with his smile alone. Just then Angela came waltzing down the garden, swaying to the pulsing throb of the music...

"Hi..." she said, already a wee bit high, "Got a friend?"

"Hi, I'm Owen, Brad's school chum..." he replied, getting up and taking her hand.

"Ah..." she nodded at him, "Brad, can we go...?" she asked turning to me.

"Uh, umm..." I had started... suddenly feeling my head spin at an alarming rate, my throat dry.

"Oh, we just met after many years and wanted to catch up... but why don't we drop you first, eh Brad?" Owen spoke.

I just sat there looking at them... feeling numb, every thing very blurry. It seemed he had already taken charge... and I could do nothing.

"Huh, Brad?" she looked at me, then back at Owen, "Oh well, sure..." she shrugged and turned, heading back into the house.

Owen looked at me and grinned, "Let's go Brad."

We dropped her off at her place and as I got back into the car, on very unsteady legs, he looked at me and asked, "Well, you're place or mine?" startling me... "Um, my place would be better," he added with that smile and restarted the engine, pulling back onto the road.

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"Here," he said handing me a glass as he sat down on the couch beside me. "So...?"

I just sat looking at him, still wondering what I was doing there...

"You know..." he started, "I've always admired you... you were so good in every sense - top in class, good in sports, popular... someone I would love to be like... and I always thought about you once we had moved out. And when I saw you today after all these years it all came back and I wanted to go up and talk to you. I wasn't sure whether you would even remember me or be interested in talking to me, but I had to take a chance..." he paused and placed a hand on my thigh... For some odd reason I felt funny... like I was being... well, I really didn't know... like he was trying to seduce me...? Something that I had done so often, in school, taking girls out and trying to get them to agree to let me get closer, inside their clothes... He had that kind of tone... that look in his eyes... But hey, I must be crazy to even think that way... I was totally fuzzy, my eyes refusing to focus... maybe that was giving me ideas!

"You OK?" I heard him ask.

"Huh... yeah, yeah, of course..." I mumbled... suddenly feeling not so good anymore. I was normally very careful about what or how much I drank but today had been different... maybe I had taken a few too many... Like I said earlier, I was feeling the blues and had had a few before I went to the party... But it couldn't have been more than 2, or maybe 3 beers... and the two at the party before we left... but then again, I couldn't be sure... I really couldn't remember and that felt weird too...

"Here, let me get you another." I heard him say as he took the glass out of my hand and I realized that it was already empty!

He returned shortly with it, refilled, and sitting down gave it back to me. We sat in silence for a long while when I thought I should be moving... maybe go back home. I wasn't sure of anything, anymore... it felt kinda weird... I couldn't even think clearly... I tried to get up and just fell back on the couch... my legs refusing to carry me. He was right there, holding me and sitting me down and then I felt his hot breath burn my face... his lips brush my cheek lightly...

"Aagghh..." I tried to pull away.

"No, don't..." his hands held me, "I've wanted you ever since those days in school... I've dreamt of you all these years... Let me love you and you will love it, I promise."

I felt my whole body go tense... but I also felt numb, I could see and feel everything, hear each word and make every sense... but I just couldn't move anymore... He must have drugged me, laced my drinks with something, I was suddenly sure of that... I was now in his power... He wanted revenge... revenge for the things we did to him back then. He wanted to humiliate me and laugh at me...

"Owen... ah..." I could barely speak, "I... I'm not... ah... that... ooh, my head... ah... lemme go... I... I don't..."

His mouth covered mine and I gasped in shock and horror... What was he doing...? Hey, Christ... I'm... I'm a stud... not a miserable, whimpering fag!

He pushed my lips apart and I felt his tongue enter my mouth and shivered... It was so revolting... I wanted to push him away and wipe my mouth clean... but my hands refused to move and suddenly I felt a jolt pass through me and must have blacked out... for what I next remember seeing was Owen pulling off my shirt and reaching for the belt. Through a haze I saw him work it off and undo the button before pulling down the zip and tugging my pants off. I lay slumped on the couch in my briefs...

His hands ran over my tingling flesh... raising goose bumps and hardening the nipples. I saw him caress my heaving chest... his fingers fluttering over my taut belly, massaging my thighs... and back up. He lowered his face and I felt the wet touch of his tongue as it licked the pointed nipples... biting one lightly while tweaking the other... I heard myself moan at the incredible feelings suddenly flooding my tense body. It shocked me... ME, the super jock, being sexually aroused by another male! It must be crazy... I tried to fight back the feelings... suppress the amazing sensation that was engulfing my being... shake myself awake, out of the stupor... But it only kept getting better and better... And as his palm closed around my crotch I gasped and realized with shock and horror that I was hard!!!

I lifted my arms... as if through dense atmosphere, and tried to push him away, but I had no strength... my hands resting limply on his shoulders as he continued to nibble at me, licking my smooth chest... squeezing the bulge between my splayed thighs. My head was swimming and I kept drifting back and forth, in and out of the numbing stupor... detesting yet enjoying. It felt so sensuous, so erotic.

I was like a distant observer... watching the scene from afar, yet feeling every sensation. Nothing seemed clear, nothing real anymore. My senses seemed to collect the information, the details, and log them in my brain... but somehow it seemed to refuse to register... unable of making sense! I felt languid, as if floating in space, the body listless, beyond the control of my mind, in a continuous daze... flitting in and out of consciousness.

Through the haze I saw him stand up and slowly, seductively, begin to strip... Like in a movie, in slow motion... smiling at me as I lay staring up, bleary eyed. And the next moment he was between my legs, licking me through the tented brief... and then the next thing I realize, I'm totally bare, buck naked, and Owen licking my balls... taking each one in his mouth and sucking on the spheres... getting them sopping wet. And as I moaned I felt him lick the head of my throbbing penis... long, wet swipes of his strong tongue... lapping at my groin... the pulsating shaft... the leaking head... I could feel and even see it all happening but couldn't separate the individual actions or sensations... It was all merged into one whole, long sensual sequence... jerky and unclear, in flashes... one moment there and then gone the next, dream-like.

I moaned, closing my eyes and felt the familiar hot, wet embrace and yelped. Looking down I saw him open his mouth wide and take me in... I shuddered and groaned... it felt so weird... yet so arousing... so incredible... I looked on, wide-eyed and watched the pulsating head slowly disappear inside his mouth, the lips stretched wide around the flared rim...! I tried to plead with him but only a croak came out... He held the tip just inside, lashing his tongue around it, licking the head, tickling the tiny piss slit... one hand holding the thick base, jerking the shaft slowly, while the other hand played with my balls, sliding powerful fingers under them, between the sweaty cheeks, prizing them open and prodding gently at my clenched anal opening. I wanted to protest... tell him to let me go... to stop this sick game, but nothing came out and as his lips sank lower, taking more and more of me inside the hot oral cavity, I slumped back and surrendered myself to the impossible pleasure roaring at me.

The next thing I can remember was seeing his head bobbing up and down... and hearing a faint slurping sound... God, he really knew how to suck a cock... no girl had ever managed to arouse such awesome feelings that he was able to at that moment. A warm glow surrounded me and I sank further back into the couch and closed my eyes again... The nips on my cock head, as it reached the depth of his clutching throat, felt exquisite... and the soft sensation around my balls, as he massaged my groin, got better and better... and then his hand slithered, once more, down and under them, to the beginning of my ass crack... and further, into the cleft, at the tightly clenched orifice... gently manipulating, massaging, working around the twitching mouth, making the pleasure agonizingly unbearable. I groaned, thrashing my head around... my hands reaching out to grab his hair.

And then I felt a lightening jolt and opening my eyes as if waking up from a deep slumber realized that I was shaking... groaning loudly, my hips thrusting up, off the couch, sending the pulsating prick deeper into his oral channel and before I even became fully aware, I was shuddering and spewing hot wads of sticky cum down his gulping throat! It was amazing... the feeling, the emotions... the sheer volume of ejaculation... making a low guttural sound I slumped back, totally drained, my cock still twitching in the dying throes of the most massive orgasm.

And then, as I fluttered my eyes open, I couldn't see him anymore... instead I saw my legs pushed up over the arms of the couch and my ass hanging over the edge, sticking out and gradually became aware of a warm, wet sensation along the cleft of my bottom, lapping away... along the parted cheeks... around the open slit... delicious... The pleasant sensation continued, and slowly, realization dawned... My fevered brain told me that I should feel revolted... but somehow it also felt absolutely marvelous... astonishingly erotic and I felt my hips jerk and push down, as if seeking the source of the remarkable sensation... intent upon further indulgence in the erotic pleasure.

And with half closed eyes I saw his head come up from between my splayed thighs and he smiled at me... and before I could even register it, his face was gone, back to what he was doing. And suddenly, with a start the thought flashed, as if I hadn't already realized it, and I felt a shudder pass though me... of shock and revulsion. But somehow I didn't care anymore and as the warmth of his mouth, and magical movement of his tongue and fingers playing around my balls and ass mouth, got better and better... I felt my whole body relax and every pore loosen up... as if each muscle in my body had just lost all elasticity... I felt totally open!

How long this went on I have no idea as I kept drifting in and out of consciousness... only, it felt like hours, hours of impossible pleasure! And when I opened my eyes next I found myself lying on a bed... on my stomach and felt his hot breath on my quivering ass mound, felt his strong fingers holding the firm cheeks apart and that same hot breath washing over the puckered entrance of my most vital opening. And then the delicious sensations returned, lapping at my ass hole.

The wet tongue stabbed the anal opening making me groan, forcing my pelvis to lift off the bed and push back at him... It prodded the ass mouth, licking around the tightly clenched anus and as he probed I felt it relax and open up... and with a gasp I felt the tongue slip in!

I shivered at the sensation and felt my inside spasm... it just can't be explained but has to be felt and experienced... it was like a warm glow rising from the very depth of my soul and then filling me, engulfing my whole being... I groaned heavily and pushed back and felt it slither further in... wiggling around. My stomach heaved and churned... the tender membranes fluttering over the probing tip.

Like the surging ocean, pleasure roared at me and I surrendered, allowing it to carry me away on its delightful waves... I lost track of everything, blabbering incoherently, clutching the pillow in a tight grip, attempting to hang on to whatever sanity still remained. And as I lay floating under his awesome erotic manipulation I gradually became aware of his hands - hands working around my ass, kneading and fondling the full globes in a slow, sensuous way... spreading them, massaging them, thrilling them. And then I felt a warm glow enter me, light up my insides... radiating throughout my whole body... filling me with its soothing warmth, dissolving everything. My rectum felt like a great big yawning cavity... totally open and wide!

"Nnnnnnnnh..." I moaned and thrust back at him...

"You've got three fingers in you... want the whole hand?" I heard a low, husky whisper coming from a distant.

I gasped with shock, not really comprehending what he was talking about till he turned them around rapidly and I felt them... unbelieving. I hadn't known or even thought, not until that moment, that such a thing was even remotely possible. It felt totally crazy... even insane, but amazingly, there was no pain just an exquisite bliss! I lost my mind again and the scene vanished from conscious perception, but the bodily sensation I was receiving remained... like in a dream... unreal yet very much there. I wondered if I was awake or sleeping... or was this all a terrible nightmare... or maybe the hallucination of a feverish mind... or simply drunk. Nothing made sense anymore, not that I cared much about it right then... it was just the hot, wet caress, the breathtaking sensation of being touched from within... that incredible feeling, something I had never experienced before, which mattered.

With another jerk I returned to reality and with a low whimper attempted to raise my head off the pillow...

"Just give me your beautiful ass Brad and you will never regret it." I heard him whisper into my ears as he climbed over me, resting his body on my back, a burning slab coming to rest between my parted cheeks... "Let me have that awesome ass..." I heard him again through a fog and just groaned, beyond all capacity of agreeing or refusing.

The next time I opened my eyes I realized that he had flipped me around and was now hunched over me... my legs resting on his shoulders. Suddenly, like a burst of sunlight breaking through the dark clouds, realization blazed at me and I wanted to scream... ask him to stop... this couldn't be real... he really couldn't be preparing to fuck me... ME! I stared with glassy eyes, frantic and saw him smile... And then I felt the burning tip of his cock touch my violently twitching anus and felt it clam shut... I heard him grunt and tell me to open up and as I tried to struggle I felt him shove.

For a moment I felt nothing and then something snapped and I felt a heat enter me, fill me... engulf me! Surprisingly there was no pain, just a weird sensation and then total numbness. I felt the heat penetrate further... slowly, gradually going deeper and higher... filling me and in an odd way even thrilling me! My legs jerked and stiffened, pointing straight up and then they shook, spasming violently as the stiff heat plunged deeper, piercing my very vitals... I drifted off again and then woke up to a glow radiating from between my spread legs, like a soft, soothing warmth, rising from deep within the pit of my stomach and it brought an aching stiffness to my cock. An incredible stiffness that I had never experienced before, like it was being inflated from within... beyond, much beyond its normal capacity, straining to burst out of its skin, feeling like a rumbling volcano ready to explode. And I also felt the soft almost tranquilizing, pressure on my prostate... I wondered what it could be and then with a shudder remembered that he was in me... fucking my ass!!!

The realization made me want to scream, but all I managed was a low grunt and he lowered his face, covering my mouth, kissing me... his tongue licking my parted lips before darting in... sending a tingle shooting up and down my spine. It seemed so long, reaching the back of my throat as it imitated the action of his cock rampaging in my ass - in and out... and then licking again, the palate, the gum, every nook and every corner. And I could do nothing but just lie under him and be used... be fucked like a whore. I wanted to yell, plead with him, ask him to take it out... stop fucking me... but only a soft moan was all that came out each time. But my body was suddenly alive; enjoy it... thrilling at its own ravishment!

And then I felt the touch, a soft, soothing touch, around my throbbing erection, insistent. Touching my cock, as if checking it, playing with the balls... the fingers almost magical in their caress... twirling around the painfully sensitive head, along the length of the shaft... making it pulse and throb harder... And as he continued to fuck me with slow, deliberate strokes, it soon had me delirious... gurgling with unabashed hunger. It wasn't a cry of protest anymore, instead it was a plea... an urgent plea for release! I felt the muscles in my stomach tighten and heave and my ass hole gripped his ramming cock harder and then everything blurred...

I must have blacked out again for Owen brought me back with his ferocious thrusts, obviously on the verge of unleashing his torrent of bubbling cum... I remembered clutching him, almost desperately, and heard him grunt heavily, shoving more savagely now, whispering something into my ears... vaguely I became aware of the words...

"Yeah...!" he hissed, "yes, squeeze them, harder... ah... oh, yeah! Work those muscles... you love it, don't you?"

He kept saying that my ass was a really great fuck, all that he had ever imagined it to be and much more... and gave some hard shoves that I thought would split me in two. I also became aware of the sticky goo splattered all over my heaving chest and belly.... I had cum again!

He went on, sliding the enormous cock rapidly now, in and out of my ravaged ass hole, making me grunt while he gasped and panted... preparing for the final release... readying himself for his orgasm, readying to fill me, flood me with his seed... like a girl, like I had done so many times, filling women with my cum... It horrified me, yet filled me with an astonishing sense of achievement!!!! I gripped the pillow tighter, clutching on for dear life and moaned, lifting my ass a little higher, in ultimate capitulation...

He slammed into me, massive thrusts and I felt my lungs being emptied, the oxygen being pushed out by the immense meat pole being shove up my butt, leaving me gasping for air... and then his mouth covered mine and we both moaned... and I don't remember anymore...

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I opened my eyes and blinked, the room seemed strange... and dark except for a tiny beam of light peeping in through a chink in the curtains. And the first thing I felt was this awful pain in my ass... like my inside had melted and turned liquid, churning, waiting to rush out. I got up and nearly fell as my knees buckled and I slumped forward, steadying myself on a nearby chair. I looked around the strange room and saw the partly open door of the bathroom, I rushed in and sat down, letting go... And as the contractions in my ravaged bottom finally stopped it all came flooding back. With a shudder and shame I remembered the night, the party, then Owen and my ravishment...

I slowly, painfully got up and opened the overhead shower, adjusting the water to the right temperature before getting under the spray. I scrubbed furiously trying to rid myself of the dirty feeling that I kept telling myself I should feel, wash away all the grime I imagined to be filling me. The warm water felt good and I felt my body relax... I remained under the shower, letting the water wash over me, soothe me, but my ass still hurt, still felt sore, a dull throb making the slightly swollen mouth twitch. My mind too was in turmoil, waging a war, repeatedly going over the broken sequences of the previous night... trying to piece the picture together while forcing itself to suppress the emotions that rose from within as those memories took shape... trying to control the unabashed response of my body to those recollections. But my body refused to listen, rebelling with a powerful tingle... the nipples hardening, as the light hairs bristled... the cock slowly filling out and lifting in turgid passion.

Owen entered as I was drying myself, naked and sporting an enormous hard-on. He smiled at me and went over to the toilet.

"Up early..." he called over his shoulder, more a statement than a question.

I didn't respond, turning away, my back to him, totally embarrassed.

I heard the flow hit the porcelain, strong and powerful, and then it slowed before stopping... And as I remained still, waiting (?), I felt his hand on my shoulder and quickly turned around. He held me, pulling me close and crushed his lips to my open mouth, the wet cock-tip nudging my navel... And as I attempted to struggle I felt him grip my hair, pulling my head back, his tongue entering my mouth.

Instantly I was horny, trembling with passion and the towel dropped from my grip. He took my hand and placed it on his large, fiery cock, letting me feel the size, which for all the world seemed as large as a monster out of a horror film, huge and throbbing... It nearly singed my hand with its heat as my fingers tried to wrap themselves around its massive girth. I gasped in his mouth and tried to draw back but his hand remained, covering mine, holding it in place, forcing it to slide along the pulsating length... from hairy base to twitching tip.

He kept kissing me, gnawing hungrily, working the tongue inside my mouth, licking, probing... and as it began to feel better and better I felt my struggle grow weaker and weaker. My other hand, which was on his shoulder, trying to push him away, now clutched him. I heard myself moan and the hand forcing me to stroke him, left. But my hand remained... continuing to jerk him, slowly.

He suddenly pulled back, leaving me flustered and gasping. I felt his hands on my shoulders, pushing me down, on my knees and as I fell my eyes saw his awesome erection for the first time... saw the cock, that had ripped through me the previous night, in all its virile glory... It was massive, throbbing with engorged lust... the head huge and purple, the tiny slit at its tip leaking clear passion dew, the slimy liquid rolling down to hang in a pearly string past his knees... A thick pubic bush surrounded the immense phallus, curly and black; and the balls were huge too, hanging low in their leathery sac.

"Isn't he a beauty, suck him!" he commanded.

And to my utter consternation I found my mouth opening wide as I lunged forward... He gripped the shaft and thrust his hips forward, rubbing the glistening cock head over my extended tongue, giving me a taste of the salty lube, the strong masculine scent... before pulling back, out of reach.

I moved in closer, trying to reach it, surprising myself, and heard him chuckle, "You want it, don't you! You are hot crazy for it, huh?" he said. "Don't worry, I'll give it to you... as much as you can ever want!"

I kept staring at the incredible tool, powerless to tear my eyes away, unable to look up, look him in the eyes, ashamed. He held my face with his free hand, caressing my flushed cheeks and brought his cock closer, smacking my face with the big slab, rubbing the leaking tip into my face, smearing the sticky ooze... dragging it over my eyes, my nose, cheeks and the parted lip, leaving a trail of sweet smelling juice. And each time it came near my mouth I stole the pearly drops of intoxicating pre cum with my lashing tongue.

"Mmmnnnnnn...." he moaned, rocking his hips.

He moved still closer now, brushing the large purple head against my parted lips, my tongue tickling the ribbed chord under the glans. Releasing my face he placed his hand at the back of my head, holding it in place and suddenly lunged forward, shoving his cock into my open mouth, forcing the jaws down, stretching the full lips around the thick shaft. I choked and spluttered as the broad head prodded the beginning of my throat and he pulled back slightly and as I regained my breath he shoved in once more... the long shaft snaking down my fluttering trachea... my lips and nose buried in his lush pubic patch... the curly black hair tickling me. He stuffed my mouth and throat to full capacity and just held still, making my nostrils flare, trying to suck in air, the eyes teary. My ears buzzed and the room went out of focus and as I thought I was about to black out he pulled back, taking the cock with him, letting the air rush back into my gasping lungs.

Still holding my head he began to move, thrusting in and then pulling out, gently sliding the pulsating penis along the surface of my tongue, filling my drooling mouth full, nudging the back, forcing the clinging muscles of my throat wide to slide deeper into the passage... gagging me one moment and then pulling back, making my heaving lungs suck in the oxygen in large gulps... I was making choking sounds, my eyes filling up with tears, but I was also loving it... He released his cock and grabbed my hair with both hands now, and tilting my head back, pulled me into his pubes, holding me there while he rotated his hips, the thick shaft throbbing hotly in my throat. My lungs again screamed for air and slowly I felt my eyes grow bleary, the room darkening... And just then he let go, the air rushing back in, reviving me. He kept pumping my face, rocking his hips up and down, guiding my mouth along the thick shaft of his cock, occasionally repeating the harrowing action, holding me crushed against his pubes, humping his hips to feed me that little extra bit of his fat cock, way down my throat. It was terrifying, yet exhilarating, and as more and more saliva rushed in to lubricate its passage he increased the speed, fucking my mouth!

A new pang of pleasure filled my body and I became aware of my own cock, still rigid, flexing and throbbing painfully... Unabashed, my hand slid down, between my legs, reaching for it, and taking it in a tight grip, wanton and lascivious, began stroking like a shameless rutting bitch in heat... Meanwhile, he kept his hold on my head and pumped away, moaning lustily as he fucked my face... and I moaned back around the sliding shaft, all the while jerking myself, wallowing in my own lewd degradation... and loving it!

Suddenly he stopped and pulled out... making me look up in confused query, accusing... He laughed and pulled me up."Relax, you'll have it!" he chuckled squeezing my bottom, and led me back into the bedroom, to the bed... and as with a slamming heart I climbed in, lying down, an uncontrollable shiver, of lust and anticipation, wracked my entire frame... He too climbed in, and flipping my unresisting body over, on my stomach, got behind, between my quickly parting thighs.

He pried open the cheeks and ran his fingers along the crack, nudging at my still painfully swollen ass mouth, making me whimper... I buried my face in the pillow and waited for him to enter me and surprisingly, wanting it... Instead, he shoved a rough middle finger in me, deep, making me grit my teeth and throw my head back, wailing. He moved it rapidly, in and out, a few times and soon had a second finger joining in, the twin team of fingers mercilessly fucking me, making my already sore ass hole burn, stretching the tight orifice wider... and then he wrenched them out. And as I turned to watch over my shoulder he picked up the open tube that lay on the night-stand near the bed and pushed the nozzle inside my quacking rectum and squeezed. I shuddered as I felt the cold jelly slither deep inside me, filling my colon, coating the walls with the sticky gel, sending another shiver up my spine, and then he pulled it out and threw it away. He then gripped my hips and pulled me up, raising my ass high, his knees pushing my thighs apart... and I felt the burning slab of meat settle between my parted globes, his pubic mound pressed hard against my smooth cheeks... I turned away and buried my face back into the pillow, trembling.

I lay that way, ass sticking high up, holding still, scarcely breathing, or believing that I was letting him do all this to me... even wanting it, desperately desiring to be fucked by him... totally out of my mind, completely crazed by lust as he gently rocked his hips, sliding the thick cock along the cleft, his balls rapping my swaying nuts.!

His hands reached around and under me and grabbed my erect cock, squeezing it... "Tell me, do you want it?" he asked in a low whisper. And as I remained silent he pushed harder against my ass and asked again, "Tell me Brad, do you want it?"

I moaned softly and nodded.

"No, tell me... say it!" he said giving my cock a few expert twirls, making it throb harder and I felt my nuts crawl up, and an exquisite pleasure fill me.

"Yes... yes, I want it..." I groaned huskily.

He gripped his cock, swiping it along the trench of my ass, rubbing the head up and down the valley, nudging my sore hole each time the tip crossed it, "What do you want Brad?" he asked again, teasing me, "Tell me, what do you want."

"Oh, Owen, I want your cock... I want you to fuck me, please!" I cried out, wriggling my ass at him, "God, I want your cock...!"

He chuckled and released my penis, then gripping my hips once more placed the broad cock head against my, by now violently twitching anus and slammed in with a brutal shove, forcing the tight slit wide, ramming the flared rim in! I howled at the sudden invasion and gritted my teeth, tears filling my eyes, rolling down my face but my body thrilled and shook in response, my knees lifting off the bed to push back at him, wanting more of the glorious penis...

But as quickly as he had shoved in, he wrenched it out again, making me cry out at the excruciating pain and then thrust right back in... pulling out again, after holding the head just inside the quacking mouth for a second! My stomach churned, turning violently, the thin walls of the rectum shuddering... He repeated it about a dozen times, pushing in and as my tight sphincter snapped over the mushroom head, pulling right out again... and again... and again... making me yelp and bang my head on the sweat drenched pillow, my hands gripping it tight, the knuckles white!

"AH, God, you... you're killing me. Oh, PLEASE, OWEN!" I shrieked, as he continued to torment my ass mouth with the broad head.

"Relax, remember, you wanted it, so, now take it like a man," he grunted, and as I desperately tried to open the tiny passage further, dilate the inner ring to accommodate his healthy stalk, he added, "You said you wanted it!"

Finally, when I thought I could take it no more he gripped my hips and shoved in, sending the blunted flesh spear ripping through my ravaged butt hole, tearing deep into my innards. I caught my breath feeling the gigantic cock pierce me... nearly splitting me in two. I gasped... panting for air, my lungs refusing to expand as the stomach got pushed further up to make room for the monumental dick pushing into my ravished bottom. I felt absolutely bloated, completely full... And as he stuffed the last millimeter into me, I felt his curly pubic bush tickle my taut ass cheeks and signed with relief, relief at the achievement, achievement of having finally taken him in completely, and I squeezed the hidden muscles, testing the buried shaft and heard him growl his approval.

Impaled on his throbbing shaft I remained still, gasping for air, unable to move... waiting... And Owen moved, pulling out slowly, tugging at my guts, as if pulling my intestine out along with that awesome prick... and my ass lifting higher, the tight sphincter clinging desperately to the withdrawing shaft, unwilling to let go... And then he suddenly thrust in, sending the thick slab tearing in... I slammed back in response, grunting with delight... half crazed and totally consumed by a blinding lust... My whole body trembled, the insides fluttering with joy as his pelvis began the erotic hunching, fucking me, rubbing my colon raw... and it felt so incredibly wonderful, absolutely marvelous. I bit into the pillow to stifle the cry that rose from the pit of my soul, a cry of need, of desire... I could think of nothing but want, an intense yearning and it seemed that it would only be satisfied by that massive prick plowing my rectum. I thrashed about in unbridled passion, gurgling, incoherent in my demand for him to fuck me harder, faster, my ass loving the brutal pounding. And gradually, as he picked up the pace... going faster and faster, fucking me with powerful long strokes, I raised my head and screamed at him, asking him to do it even harder, screw the ass hole wide open, tear me apart!!!

"You've got a terrific ass, so tight..." he grunted in a husky voice, pumping harder, "so fuckin' hot!"

The words thrilled me, filled me with pride, sending a delicious tingle coursing through my entire body and I lifted higher, working those inner muscles harder and heard him chuckle, "And you love gettin' fucked, don't you...?" he panted, slapping the flexing cheeks.

I moaned my reply, nodding my head in the pillow as he screwed my shuddering butt hole with a renewed vigor, swaying with his movements... I had wanted it, and I was getting it... and loving the feeling in my quivering bottom, enjoying the heat of the plunging shaft, thrilling in the stretching... The tender walls pulsing around the flexing shaft, clinging to it like a tight glove, embracing it in its liquid heat, giving delight while extracting its own share of pleasure. And my mouth remained open, letting out small whimpers with each jolting entry of his ramrod, the muscles tightening and relaxing of its own volition, as if demanding more of the cock invader.

"Oohhhhhhh..." I cried out loud at the continual ramming as he pulverized my ass. With head bowed low and shoulders slack, I slammed back at him, my ass cheeks slapping audibly against his groin, thigh against thigh... my swinging balls against his loaded testicles. It felt so lewd, so gross, so damned fulfilling... absolutely incredible!

And he continued with massive thrusts and a surprising speed, without the slightest break in his rhythm, sending the bolting shaft plunging deeper and higher within my belly. The stabbing hardness probing unexplored depths and reaching corners previously untouched... pounding my ass walls with its determined head, the abnormal circumference expanding my colon wider, stretching the tiny slit to its maximum... and rubbing the swollen prostate mercilessly, making my stomach heave and churn, my ass undulating in uninhibited joy of the fuck, extracting animal cries with each jolting shove.

Each withdrawal was like a vacuuming that sucked at my guts, sending an agonizingly delicious thrill coursing through every inch of my writhing flesh, blanking out every other sensation. And then he ground his pubes all the way in, to the loaded balls and holding my slim waist rotated his entrenched penis, tormenting the sensitive ass walls, making them flutter violently, setting my already traumatized stomach in turmoil... It felt like I was being stuffed, filled to the brim, and then everything being sucked right out through the back as he pulled away! The effect was that of having my inside emptied and refilled with ever increasing speed, sending shivers up and down my wracked body, making me wail louder, accelerating my pulse and forcing me to groan in pleasurable agony, gyrating my hips in a maddening fury...

Is this it? I thought, is this the real me...? But I had no time to ponder further as my bulging gland was nudged into a frenzy and my already bursting cock nearly leaped out of its skin in the blinding ecstasy. I threw my head back and roared, my buttocks slamming back furiously at his thrusting groin. And as my cock erupted, spewing hot cum all over the bed, splashing it with the sticky cream, my body convulsing in orgasmic frenzy, my ass went wild, sucking at the buried cock, pulling it further in, flexing its velvet heat around it. He growled and thrust forcefully, his hunches reduced to short, vicious jabs, leaving most of his cock inside my spasming rectum. And as my ass flexed harder in the dying throes of the massive orgasm I heard him curse loudly and felt him lunge forward, thrusting into me before falling over, covering my back, his hands gripping my shoulders. I felt his cock stiffen and jerk and he ground his pubes into my battered bottom, cramming his massive flesh spear even deeper, his groin flushed to my parted cheeks.

He let out a deep moan, his breath coming in harsh spurts and I felt his cock twitch and jerk, exploding in a molten fury, pumping searing hot liquid into my sore rectum. The thick cream jetting deep into my bowels, flooding it, coating it, soothing it... And as he continued to spurt the thick wads of semen, for what seemed a very long time, filling me up completely with his love juice, I worked my rectal muscles, making him grunt hoarsely before finally going still and falling silent, both panting heavily in the aftermath of our explosive orgasm, catching our breath.

He rested on me for a long while, his prick still throbbing from the massive orgasm and still fully sheathed in my slowly relaxing ass slit. Finally he pulled out; taking that awesome cock away, leaving me feeling empty, like a part of me had been forcibly wrenched out, making me whimper and nearly cry! I wanted it, wanted it right inside me and I turned back to look at him accusingly, my eyes pleading...

"Get dressed and I'll drop you home," he said as he left the bed, heading for the bathroom.

I crawled out and with shaking hands pulled on my clothes, feeling the sticky juice begin leaking out of my still twitching ass slit, coating my full cheeks with the slime as they rubbed against each other with my every move... and it felt amazingly erotic... and as I stood up I felt the fresh load slosh inside my rectum, sending another shiver up my spine.

We didn't speak in the car and as we pulled up in front of my apartment building he leaned over and kissed me on the mouth once more, reaching between my legs to lightly squeeze the bulge there. I quickly pulled away, looking around to make sure no one was watching, my face a bright red, with shame and embarrassment.

"Call me when you're ready for it again," he winked, grabbing my ass and squeezing the firm cheek as I got off.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

In the days that followed, I couldn't get Owen or the incident out of my mind. Doubt crept in for a moment, 'had I imagined the whole thing...?', especially since I was drunk or whatever... 'or, did it really happen...?' But then, there was the next morning... and I had not only allowed it to happen but had loved every moment of my defilement... wanting more... and, I wasn't drunk then! Through the week, with all the questions still racing around in my mind, I had absolutely no desire to socialize, and decided on staying home, restricting myself to my work and office... refusing to go out or entertain even Angela.

It was another Friday, exactly a week later and I was more than just confused... I was frantic, not knowing exactly what I wanted... The whole week had been tormenting... a torture, agonizingly so. And as I got up and went into the bathroom that morning and saw my reflection in the mirror I paused, irresistibly drawn towards the image. I went and stood in front of it, looking... I let my hands run over my body in a slow sensuous way, gasping softly at the tingling feel of my fingertips over the smooth skin. I watched my nipples harden and stand out straight and as my eyes traveled lower I saw my large cock slowly begin to pulse... lifting off gradually from its drooping position...

And suddenly I knew what I wanted... what I needed. My ass was meant for fucking... and I wanted to be fucked, fucked in the ass by a strong and big cock... have my bowels flooded with the virile semen of a man... I wanted to be Owen's bitch, get fucked by him... mate with him... accept his offering of sperm in my ass... and that had nothing to do with my super jock, or super stud image! The realization both shocked and thrilled me, sending my pulse racing and my cock flex violently...

That evening, as I returned home from work and let myself in, I knew what I needed to do... what I was going to do... and as soon as I closed the door behind me I picked up the phone and dialed Owen's number... on the third ring I replaced the receiver, suddenly nervous, even scared, my hands shaking... I sat for a while fretting, and then dialed again and this time he picked it up on the first ring...

"Hello?" I heard his questioning voice... but no word came out of my gulping throat as I held the instrument to my buzzing ear, holding my breath, my heart slamming away wildly... and with a sudden pang of terror I disconnected the call, sweat dripping from every pore of my shivering body.

I got up and went to the bedroom... but couldn't relax, or get the thought of Owen out of mind... and within minutes I was back in the livingroom, redialling his number once more... This time too he answered on the first ring, "I know it's you Brad, don't disconnect this time," he said softly.

I hesitated, nervous... and he spoke, calming me... asking me over to his place. We arranged to make it that night itself, after dinner since he was meeting a client... and as I finally replaced the phone, I realized that my cock was rigid, throbbing painfully, the underpants soaking wet with desire.

I found it hard to concentrate on anything as I waited, and by 7:30 began having second thoughts about the whole thing, apprehensive. But then decided that I would still go, had to, no matter what.

Like in a trance, I showered, soaping up and scrubbing thoroughly, taking extra care to clean between the ass cheeks... and then dressed, spending an inordinately long time to decide on the clothes, paying great attention to every small details, as if preparing to go out somewhere special. I was feeling strange, like a kid on his first date, all nervous and worked up, excited... my heart fluttering with excitement, the cock continuously twitching, the slit oozing!

It seemed like ages, but finally it was time. I drove around to his place but remained in the car for a good ten minutes debating whether to go back home or walk up the path and knock on the door. Did I really want to become his slut? Did I want him to breed me, fill me with his seed? make me his bitch...? It had taken me a whole week, a whole week of doubt and hesitation and finally firm determination to come to this decision, but now I wasn't sure anymore, even scared... but my body thought differently, urging me to go ahead! I took a deep breath and slowly getting out of the car walked up the steps to knock on the door.

And, as they say, the rest is history...

  ..: discovering the self :..
story by outlaw

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