Fated - Chapter 1

I knew it was a bad idea to walk back to my house, but I also knew I was in no shape to drive. That was one of the few things my mind could register. Yes I was drunk. I had every right to be. Today should have been a day of celebration, a birthday party. But you can't have a party when the man in question died three years earlier.

I grabbed my suede coat from the back of the stool and put it on. The early November weather was already bitingly cold, especially at night. I pushed open the heavy, wooden door and breathed in the icy air. It was quite a contrast to the hot, stale stench of the bar. Pulling my collar up around my neck and ears, I shoved my hands deep into my pockets and began the trek home.

At first, I didn't pay attention to the part of the city I was in. I knew the main gay strip and felt, maybe not comfortable, but at least among my own kind. But as I continued to walk, the cityscape changed. The streets became dirtier, the bars louder and more filthy. Street whores, both male and female lined the street corners and the alleys. The alcohol was hindering my senses, and all I could focus on was getting home to crash on my bed, alone. I continued to walk, and suddenly noticed that the streets were becoming increasingly empty. It was then that I noticed the voices behind me.

The words were slurred, but loud enough for me to hear. "Gonna bag me a fag...maybe he'll blow me before we mess him up huh?...I'm gonna rip that pretty ass wide open." My blood turned cold and I sobered up quickly. Sure I was fit. My five-nine frame was nicely toned from regular biking, skiing and swimming, but I was no Bruce Lee. I managed to sneak a quick peak behind me and saw the three men about a hundred feet away. Another glance around me and I realized I wasn't sure where I was. Fuck, I must have taken a wrong turn.

I didn't really have any options but one - Run!

I took off down the street. I ran past one alley, then turned sharply right at the next corner. It was dark but I could see the next street a few hundred yards away. I could hear the pounding of feet behind me and knew the three men were chasing. I glanced over my shoulder as I continued and could see them rounding the corner into the alley. I must have taken them by surprise because I had a good lead on them, but I didn't know where I was going. I reached the end of the alley and paused; left or right?

I'm not sure what made me decide right, but that's which way I went. Another glance behind me as I started to run again. Before I could pick up speed, I felt a vice like grip wrap around my chest, pushing my arms tightly against my sides. Another hand covered my mouth as I took a deep breath to scream. I was dragged backwards a few steps and into a deep, dark doorway. I could feel the pounding heart of the person gripping me. Heavy breathing was right next to my ear.

"Shhh, don't move and don't speak, let them pass us," a deep voice whispered.

It was a great idea in theory. But the gorilla holding me was squeezing my chest with one hand and covered my nose and mouth with the other. I couldn't breathe. I started to kick with my feet, trying to get him to ease up. I realized he was actually holding me off the ground a couple of inches. He didn't know why I was struggling.

"Shhh. I won't hurt you. Just wait a few minutes and let them pass," he whispered. I could feel myself starting to blackout from lack of air. Then I knew only blackness.

As I came to, I found I was sitting on something very comfortable. "Jesus, are you okay?" that same deep voice resonated through me. I realized I was sitting on his lap, leaning against his solid chest. I tried to sit up and moaned softly in the process. "Fuck! I am so sorry. I didn't realized I was holding you so tightly," he apologized. I could hear the sincerity in his voice.

"I'm okay," I managed to whisper. My body felt like it was made of lead, probably the combination of the alcohol I'd consumed earlier and the vice grip I'd been in. I tried to stand up and slid off the mystery man's thighs. My legs were a little wobbly and he grabbed my arm to keep me from falling. I turned to look at my would-be hero and had to look up, way up. Shit, he was tall! My eyes finally found his; they were a brilliant blue-green color under a mop of scraggily blond hair.

"How tall are you?" I asked the first thing that came to mind. Great question to ask Trevor, I told myself. He smiled and I felt my heart do a little flip. Stop that!

"Six foot five," he answered in that deep voice. "My name is Corey Wilson," he added, holding out his hand. I accepted the large appendage and we shook.

"Trevor Ward. How long was I out of it?" I asked as I tested my balance again and found my legs were pretty stable.

My rescuer blushed. It was sweet. "Only about five minutes. I heard those guys outside. They looked around for a couple of minutes then walked away. I haven't checked to see if they're completely gone yet," he admitted.

"That's okay. Thanks for the save. How did you know I was in trouble?" I asked curiously.

He hung his head a little and blushed deeper. "I..uh...I saw them start to follow you and knew they were trouble. I thought I'd follow to make sure nothing happened. I cut down that first alley and it was just lucky that you came right instead of left," he added with a shrug.

I knew he was hiding something. Call me cynical, I probably was. "So you were in the same bar as they were?" I asked.

He sighed and shook his head. "No," he said softly. "I was already out on the street."

I raised my eye brows at that. I could see he wasn't really comfortable with my interrogation and I decided it didn't really matter. I was tired and sore. I just wanted to go home and forget the whole day.

"Well, lets make sure they're gone. I want to get out of here," I announced. He nodded and walked to the door. I realized we were in the entranceway to a small apartment building. Slowly he opened the door and poked his head outside. After a minute he opened the door wide and stepped through.

"All clear," he announced, looking back in at me. I smiled and walked over to join him.

"Thanks for everything," I said as we were back out on the street. I glanced up at him. "I think I'm just going to continue home," I added.

He looked down at the ground. "Um...maybe I should walk with you? Make sure you get home, in case those guys are still around." I looked at him intently. This kid was cute, and shy. And he was just a kid. I wondered how old he was. I couldn't sense any malice in him, and I knew I would be glad of the company.

"You know, that sounds like a good idea Corey," I finally said. He lifted his face and looked at me, a happy smile on his sexy lips.

"So where are we going?" he asked.

I told him my address and started walking. After a few steps, I realized he wasn't walking with me. I turned to look at him. He was standing there pointing in the opposite direction. I decided to trust his judgement and walked back towards him, then continued on in that direction. He fell into step beside me, shortening his pace so he didn't walk past me.

I really was curious how he just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I was also very happy for his company. His tall, muscled body made me feel safe, a strange feeling for me. We walked in silence for a while turning here and there as we made our way from the downtown core to a more residential area.

I finally broke the silence. "So tell me about Corey Wilson," I said.

Corey was quiet for a minute. "Not much to tell. I'm in my third year at university. I work part time as a bouncer/bartender at the campus bar. I have a tiny apartment off campus."

"What are you taking at university?" I asked curiously. The bouncer part I could have predicted, but the university was a surprise.

He glanced at me, unsure if I was serious. "Promise you won't laugh?" he said. I nodded. "Right now I'm working towards becoming a nurse practitioner. At some point I'd like to go to med school and become a doctor."

Wow! I stopped dead. This kid was full of surprises. He turned to look at me and I started to walk again. "I'm impressed Corey. You have a lot of ambition. How old are you?"

"I turned twenty in October. I don't know as its ambition. Its just something I've always wanted to do. I like to help people." He paused. "What about you Trevor?" he asked.

As if I didn't know that was coming. "I'll be 29 in January. I teach English literature and creative writing courses at the university," I said.

"Oh, so you write! Have you been published?" he asked excitedly. It was like a knife in my gut.

"No!" I nearly shouted. "No, I don't write," I said, lowering my voice. "Not any more," I murmured quietly.

But he heard me. "What do you mean, 'not anymore'?" he asked softly.

I couldn't do this. I closed my eyes and swallowed back my emotions. "Please, can we not talk about this?" I pleaded quietly.

Corey fell silent and I was grateful he didn't push the issue. We had finally reached my street and I could see my house halfway down the block. I started to walk faster, wanting to get inside and away from the world.

"So why did you get drunk tonight?" Corey asked suddenly. Fuck he was persistent.

I looked up at him and glared. "None of your fucking business," I said bluntly.

We finally reached the sidewalk in front of my house. I stopped and turned to face Corey. "Listen, thanks for helping me out, and walking with me. It's late and I'm really tired, so good night," I said quickly and turned to walk to the house. I thought I was home free, I was at the front steps, then on the little porch. Then he spoke.

"You know, you're not as tough as you pretend to be," he called out softly.

Oh God! Why did he have to say those words? On this night? The key fell from my suddenly limp fingers to the porch. My body dropped me to my knees, as tears I couldn't stop wracked my body. Then I felt those arms of steel around me, holding me, rocking me.

He sat on the porch with his back against the door and pulled me onto his lap, holding me against his chest. His hands gently stroked my back and hair as I clung to him. "Shh, it's okay Trevor," he whispered, over and over again.

Oh, how I wanted to believe him. His arms felt so good holding me. It had been so long. Since...since Jordy. There hadn't been anyone since Jordy. He was the reason for everything. I struggled to free myself from Corey's grip. He finally released me and I stood up. I looked down at him through my tears.

"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say. "I'm...I'm just sorry," I said lamely. I grabbed my keys and pushed opened the door. I closed it behind me, not looking back, leaving Corey sitting on the front step. I slowly walked through the dark and empty house, kicking off my shoes, yanking off my coat as I walked. Finally I reached the bedroom and simply flopped down on my stomach. I wanted to cry more, but I didn't have the energy. The alcohol finally did its job and I fell into a restless sleep.

I woke just after noon the next day. My head hurt, my body hurt. Memories of the night before came crashing back. God, I really am pathetic. I dragged my ass out of bed and took a long, hot shower. By the time I was done, my head was a little clearer. After making a light lunch and a pot of coffee, I settled down to grade papers. I probably didn't give them as much attention as they deserved but it helped distract me.

I was in bed early Sunday night in preparation for the grind of the week ahead. I had managed to push memories of Saturday to the back of my mind.

Monday morning, I taught a third year science fiction class that focused on the technologies in novels and whether the genre predicted technologies of the future. My students were working on presentations. They had to pick a novel and focus on a technology used in the story and research whether it is possible that technology will ever exist in reality. I sat in the small lecture hall and answered questions or directed the students to different reference materials. The rest of the time I continued to mark papers from my creative writing class. The class ended at eleven and I gathered my stuff. The lecture room door opened as I was packing my briefcase but I didn't look up, assuming it was a student for the next class.

"Trevor?"

I froze. I knew that voice. I'd hoped he would forget about me, even though I knew I'd never get him out of my mind. I looked over at the tall figure and felt the intensity of those blue-green eyes.

"Corey," I said quietly. He smiled and I felt a chink in my armor.

"Do you have another class right away?" he asked casually, sitting on the top of one of the little desks.

I closed my case and grabbed the handle. "No. Not till two," I answered.

He grinned. "Good! Then come have an early lunch with me," he said.

My brain said no, so I was surprised when I heard my own voice. "Okay."

His grin widened and I walked over to the door to join him. He held the door and I walked through.

"Where to?" he asked as we walked through the crowds of students. I shrugged. I was still trying to figure out why I'd said yes. We walked through the building then outside to cross part of the campus. We entered the main university center. It had a food court with a dozen or so food outlets. Corey waited for me to decide so I walked over to the deli outlet. We both ordered fresh sandwiches and juices. It was still before noon so the seats weren't crowded. Corey led the way to a small lounge section that was practically deserted. He set his food down on the table surrounded by four lounge chairs. He dumped his backpack in one chair then slid his tall frame into another. I followed suit, putting my briefcase in one chair, then sitting in the other.

We were sitting opposite each other. Corey began to eat, but kept his gaze on me. I felt like he was trying to look right into my soul. It was unnerving. I tried to focus on my own meal and ignore his gaze. But I was very aware of his presence. It was like his body was oozing sex appeal. I couldn't decide if it was his cool confidence or boy-next-door good looks, or maybe a combination of both.

"So tell me about the classes you teach?" Corey said, breaking the silence.

I looked at him and was surprised to see genuine interest. I knew most of his courses would be science related such as biology. I took a drink of my orange juice. "Well, the class I was just in is technology in Science fiction writings. We basically look at older sci-fi novels and compare them to real technology of today. Do the novels predict the technology or is it coincidence," I explained briefly.

Corey nodded his head. "Like Orwell's Big Brother?" he suggested.

I smiled, "Exactly."

Corey smiled back. "You should do that more often," he said softly. Oh he's a charmer alright. "So what else do you teach?" he asked trying to keep me talking.

So, I told him. I explained the non-fiction course where students wrote short stories and satire; the creative writing with stories, poetry and even songs. Of course there was also the more traditional Old English Writers course as well. Corey listened intently to me, his eyes rarely wavering from my face.

"You obviously like what you do," he commented when I stopped talking.

I nodded. "I do. For the most part, I really enjoy teaching. It's not what I originally planned to do with my life, but...it's a living."

"Are you from here?" Corey asked.

I shook my head. "No. Out west. I started university when I was seventeen. I crammed a 4 year degree into 3 years then did my Masters in 18 months. Had my doctorate when I was 24."

He laughed. It was a deep, melodious sound that sent shivers through me. "And you said what I was planning was ambitious? You did all that work so you could teach?" He paused and looked at me intently. "What did you really want to do?" Damn. I should have seen that coming.

I wasn't going to answer; I couldn't. "So tell me about your classes, Corey. They must be pretty intense?" Oh, wasn't that a subtle change of subjects? Corey continued to stare at me for a moment, then sighed and sat back in his chair.

"Yeah, my courses are a heavy load. But I'm lucky, I guess. I've never found biology or chemistry difficult," he said with an easy shrug.

We chatted easily for another hour and a half before we both had to get to classes. I had to admit I really enjoyed talking to him. We started back across campus. Corey walked with me to the Arts building until I finally stopped and ordered him to get to class. He laughed at my serious expression, but did what he was told. I watched him jog easily across the lawn to the science building.

Corey tracked me down again on Thursday, and we had lunch together. Over the next few weeks, it became a regular thing, having lunch on Mondays and Thursdays. I found myself looking forward to seeing Corey. Not only was he gorgeous, but he was incredibly smart and funny. I found our conversations intellectually stimulating. Often we would debate a current issue in the news. His arguments were always well expressed and thoughtful. I was grateful that he respected my privacy and didn't push me to explain my little drinking binge.

I discovered that he was from the city. His parents still lived in the suburbs with his two younger sisters, both in high school. Somehow we both knew the other was gay so it wasn't a surprise when Corey said his parents had been very supportive when he came out and he visited them most weekends. I found myself comfortable enough with Corey to tell him how I told my parents I was gay when I was sixteen. They had been supportive too, until a car accident killed them when I was twenty-one.

Classes were finally over for the semester and exams were scheduled to begin the next week. I was sitting at home Friday night trying to decide what to do when it hit me. I didn't know when I would see Corey again.

It was the end of the first week of December. Exams would run for a week and a half, and then classes would be out for almost a month. I didn't like the knot in my stomach as I thought about not seeing him for a month. Maybe it was for the best though.

I had just picked up the phone to order take-out when the doorbell rang. Who was visiting me at seven on a Friday night? I opened the door and froze as I stared at the grinning blond God standing outside my house.

"Hi Trevor!" Corey greeted me.

I couldn't contain my smile. "Hi Corey! What are you doing here?"

He held up a bag in front of him. The smell of Chinese food quickly wafted toward me. "I brought dinner. May I come in?"

I realized I was keeping him out on the front step and stepped back, allowing him to enter. "So you just assumed I would be sitting at home on a Friday night with no plans?" I commented sarcastically, although I was happy to see him. Was I that boring and predictable?

Corey just shrugged. "I thought I'd take a chance. Where do you want the food?" he asked.

I remembered that he had never actually been inside my house before. I led him to the kitchen. He put the bag on the table while I pulled out some plates and forks. We sat at the kitchen table and dug into the food. I got up to grab myself a soda and offered one to Corey. He accepted. We ate in silence for a few minutes.

"So do you have any plans for the holidays?" Corey asked suddenly.

I swallowed my mouthful of food and shook my head. "No. I'll just hang around the city. Work on my course plans for next semester," I said. Without any family, what choice did I have? "What about you?"

He shrugged. "Just the usual family stuff. Once I get done with exams that is."

We chatted and finished eating. Everything was going well, which should have been a warning sign for me. We cleared the table, grabbed fresh cokes and walked out to the living room. He noticed the bookshelves covered in textbooks and novels. He slowly walked along the shelves reading the author names.

"So who's your favorite author?" he asked as he turned back to face me.

Hmmm. How to answer that? It was my turn to shrug. "I can't say that I really have one favorite. I read books in so many different genre that they are too different to compare," I explained. "Do you have a favorite?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Actually I do. Hang on a sec." He walked out to where I'd hung his coat. When he returned he had a book in his hands. "I recently read this novel. It's the only one he wrote but I thought it was fantastic." Corey set the book on the coffee table in front of me. "It's by Rover T. Draw. Ever heard of him?" he asked softly.

My eyes focused on the book and everything else faded. The blue letters of the title jumped out at me. Ransom Rising I thought I would never see that title again. I hoped I would never see it again. I had no idea how Corey had found out. Suddenly I could feel Corey watching me closely; watching my reaction. He couldn't possibly know what those words on those pages cost me. If he had, he never would have forced me to confront it. But it was too late now. There was the evidence of my selfishness and betrayal sitting on the table.

"Trevor?"

I forced myself to move my eyes away from the book on the table to look at Corey. I was numb, beyond feeling. I don't know what my expression was but it surprised Corey. He knelt down in front of me keeping my focus on him and away from the book.

"Trevor, what is it?" he asked softly.

I looked at him blankly. "Leave," I said flatly. He had to leave. I couldn't afford to feel, not for him; not for anyone.

I steeled my heart against his sad expression. "Why won't you let me in Trevor?" he asked softly. "Why do you fight so hard against being happy?" He reached out towards me and I couldn't even flinch from his touch. "I think we could be happy together if you let me in. Let me in here," he tapped me gently on my head. "And here," he softly touched my chest above my heart.

"I can't." My voice sounded hollow and lifeless.

Corey remained kneeling in front of me for a few minutes, hoping and waiting for a reaction. When one wasn't forthcoming he sighed and stood up. He silently walked out to the hall to grab his coat. He stepped back into the living room and stood looking at me.

"I love you Trevor," he said softly. Again, he waited for a response. Finally he turned and walked away. I heard the door click shut behind him. He was gone.

I was too numb to cry. It was for the best. I couldn't be with him. I couldn't do to him what I'd done to Jordy. I realized that the depth of my feelings for Corey were even stronger than what I'd had for Jordy. If I hurt him as I had Jordy it would kill me. I couldn't let that happen.

The next two weeks went by in a blur. I don't know how I managed to function, grading papers, monitoring and grading exams. But somehow I made it through. Not once did I hear from Corey or see him. I had managed to drive him out of my life, but at least he was alive.

It was Saturday morning and I stepped outside in my boxers to grab my newspaper. I briefly read over the headlines as I walked back into the living room. I glanced up to the top of the page and saw the date. I dropped the glass of juice from my hand. It was like I was in a time warp and the events of just over three years ago suddenly hit me full force.

Jordy and I had met five years ago, when he was only nineteen. He worked in construction, never having gone to college or university. That didn't matter to me. He was one of the men working on my house. We became fast friends. We fell in love. I knew he had some problems from a rough childhood and some less than law-abiding friends. When we became a couple I thought he changed. He promised me he would stay away from the worst of the crowd. I never knew he did drugs. I never saw him take anything. The first year and a half we were happy. I was teaching and writing. My book had been accepted by an editor and was going to be published. I became so caught up in editing and revising, wanting everything to be perfect, that I lost track of Jordy. I lost track of us. I was so focused on being published that I was blind to Jordy's pain. He started hanging around with the bad crowd again and I never noticed. I never noticed until the police phoned that mid December morning. A young man had been rushed to the hospital due a drug overdose and he had my number listed. They hadn't been able to save him.

The shock and horror that I had felt three years earlier came roaring back and overwhelmed me. I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing and shaking. I curled into a ball hoping the pain would go away, or at least knock me out so I didn't have to feel it. I was so selfish and Jordy ended up dead. The pain and guilt that I'd pushed out of my mind for three years surged through me and I wanted to die.

I didn't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. I crawled over to my bookshelf and pulled down the copy of Ransom Rising that Corey had brought. I opened to the first page and saw the three word dedication "J, I'm sorry." It wasn't enough. I moved to close the book and noticed hand writing in the corner of the inside cover. It was a phone number.

Did I know the number was Corey's? No. Subconsciously I hoped it was, but my thoughts weren't clear. All I know is that I crawled over to the phone and dialed the number. I curled back up on the floor. I heard a click and a voice.

"Hello?"

I shuddered. "Help me. Corey please," I whispered hoarsely.

"Trevor? Trevor what's wrong?" Corey asked. Despite how I had treated him, I could still hear the concern in his voice.

My body was wracked with sobs and I thought I was losing my mind. "It was my fault. I killed him," I managed to gasp out.

"I'll be right there Trevor," Corey said quickly.

I dropped the phone to the floor. I was in the fetal position and rocking myself trying to make the memories leave. Images of Jordy barraged me, one after another. Then the images altered and I wasn't seeing Jordy any more but Corey instead.

I don't know how long I lay like that before I heard the faint click of the front door. Then, suddenly Corey was kneeling beside me.

"Trevor? Oh God Trevor, what happened?" he asked softly as he pulled me up into his arms. I was like a rag doll. Corey picked me up and carried me down the hall to the bedroom, carefully putting me on the bed. I was still trembling and crying softly. Corey crawled on the bed behind me and wrapped his tall frame around me. I was cocooned in his warmth and muscles. He held me tight against his body and softly ran his fingers up and down my bare chest. "Shhh. It's okay baby. Everything is going to be okay now," he whispered, over and over again, his voice warm and soothing.

Ever so slowly, my tears began to stop and the trembling ceased. My breathing calmed and I began to relax in the warmth and safety of Corey's arms. The horror and guilt that had overwhelmed me receded. It didn't disappear but it no longer controlled me. I slowly wiggled around in Corey's embrace so I was on my back and I could look at him.

"I can't believe you came," I murmured, losing myself in his blue-green eyes.

He smiled gently and tenderly wiped the tear streaks from my face. "I love you and you needed me. Where else would I be?" he said softly. I knew what was coming next and I realized I wanted it to happen. Slowly Corey leaned forward and pressed his soft moist lips against mine. I closed my eyes and savored the incredible feeling. It was only a short kiss, but I could feel the genuine emotion in Corey.

I opened my eyes and smiled up at him. His fingers brushed my cheek. "Why don't you relax for a few minutes. I'm going to go to the kitchen and make you some tea. It will make you feel better." He extricated himself from around me and rolled off the bed.

"Then we'll talk," I said quietly before he left the room.

He looked over at me. "If you're ready, I'd like that." He disappeared around the corner.

I stretched out on the bed trying to collect my thoughts. I was so sure I had scared him off, yet he was here now. I listened to him bang around in the kitchen looking for everything he wanted. How did I end up here? I had a gorgeous, smart, funny young man working in my kitchen, trying to take care of me. And he said he loved me. I guess the next question was how did I feel about him? Did I like looking at him? Of course! He was the best looking man I've ever met. Did I enjoy talking to him, spending time with him? That was also a resounding yes. Could I imagine a life without him? My entire being screamed NO! Did I love him? ...That was THE question, wasn't it? My heart and mind were still dealing with all the emotions that had been dredged up. I couldn't focus clearly on just Corey. I knew I cared about him, a lot. But was it love?

Corey's return to the bedroom interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to see his smiling face and my heart did a double take. He was carrying a small tray with a teapot and a cup. He set it on the bedside table. "How do you like your tea?" he asked softly.

"Just milk please," I replied, watching his easy movements.

He fixed the tea and handed me the cup. "Lean forward," he said as he moved back to the bed. I did as he asked and he crawled around behind me, placing a leg on either side of me. He rested his back against the headboard and pulled me against his solid chest. His hands rested lightly on my stomach.

I leaned into his warmth and slowly sipped the hot tea. We sat quietly for a few minutes while I drank the tea and tried to collect my thoughts.

Finally I sighed and slumped against Corey's chest. "I don't know where to begin," I said softly.

Corey gave me a squeeze. "Take your time. Start at the beginning. Who was he?" he said softly.

So, I told him. I told Corey about Jordy, our relationship; how I became consumed with writing; and his drug overdose. I told him how I blocked away all the guilt and pain, and vowed never to write again.

"So that first night we met?" Corey asked softly, his deep voice resonated against me through his chest.

"That would have been his 24^th birthday," I whispered. "The alcohol helped dull the pain. That was the only day I would allow myself to feel the pain. Everything would have gone back to normal the next day if it hadn't been for you," I said softly. I began to stroke his strong forearm with my fingers.

"What did I do?" he asked.

"You made me feel again. You made me take a genuine interest in the world again."

We fell silent again for a minute. I knew he wanted to ask, but was afraid. So, I told him. "Today is the three year anniversary of his death," I murmured softly. Again his arms tightened and comforted me.

"You can't blame yourself for his death Trevor," Corey said softly. I started to object but he quieted me. "Shhh," he whispered beside my ear. "Let me finish. A relationship is a two way street Trevor. Yes, you may have started to pull away from your lover, but did he try to fight for you? Did he tell you what was bothering him? Or did he just move off in the opposite direction? I'm not saying it was his fault either. But you moved apart and neither made the effort. He didn't have to turn to drugs. He had lied to you about that for the entire time you were together. A lasting relationship can't last if it's built on lies. It was his choice to take drugs. Yes, maybe if things had been different you may have noticed the drug use. Maybe you could have gotten him help. But it would only have worked if he wanted help. That's something you'll never know. But you can't let that destroy your life Trevor. You worked too hard to get where you wanted to be. Maybe he was jealous of that. I don't know. If he loved you though, he would want you to keep living. Move on and be happy. You do deserve to be happy Trevor, you really do."

Corey stopped talking and leaned back letting me process what he'd said. Much of it made sense. Actually, all of it made sense. I wasn't the only one in the relationship. If he had a problem, he should have come to me, talked to me. He never did.

I sighed. "How did you get so smart?" I asked softly.

He laughed gently. "I don't know. It's a gift," he replied.

"How did you find out about the book?" I asked suddenly. It had been published under a pen name and I had been very careful to keep myself as far away from it as possible. Corey hugged me again. I was beginning to like that feeling a lot.

"Well, you let it slip that one time that you don't write, anymore. This to me meant that you had written and probably had been published. I started asking around, talking to professors and grad students that have been here for a few years. A couple knew that you were working on a book and had heard that it would be published, but hadn't heard anything else. So I did a little research, looking at books that were published three years ago." Corey moved a little to the side so he could look at my face. "And I'm sorry Trevor Ward, but Rover T Draw? It was too obvious to me," he said with a smile. I returned the smile and giggled slightly.

"I know. Not very original, but you're the only one that has figured it out," I said. Corey moved back around me and tightened his arms again.

"So I found a copy of the book and read it. I really do like it a lot. I decided to take a chance and brought it. I wanted you to open up and talk to me. It backfired a little," he added sadly.

I knew that I'd hurt him when I'd told him to leave. I reached up behind me and found his face. I softly ran my fingers down his cheek. "I'm sorry," I murmured.

"I know. So am I. But it's in the past now. I have something else I have to tell you," he added.

"Tell me," I said softly.

"That first night we met? I had seen you on campus a number of times before that. I didn't know if you were gay or not, but I wanted to get to know you. I wanted to know if I had a chance with you. I was already in the bar when you walked in. I watched you drink, getting drunk. I could see your pain and wondered why you were so unhappy. I don't know what I was thinking, but I followed you when you left. Maybe I hoped to get a chance to talk to you. I don't know." He stopped talking.

I was a relieved by his admission. I knew he hadn't told me the entire story before, but I was glad it wasn't anything too weird. "I'm happy you were there," I murmured.

Corey's grip on me suddenly tightened more. "When I think about what could have happened to you that night..." he trailed off. I could actually feel his body trembling slightly.

I turned in his arms to half face him. I could see the concern and fear on his face. I brought my hand up to cup his cheek. "I'm okay Corey. Nothing happened and I won't do something that stupid again, okay?" I said quietly.

His blue-green eyes met my hazel eyes. "You better not!" he said seriously.

I nodded slightly. "Promise."

"Can I ask you something else?" he asked. I nodded again. "That first night, when we arrived here at the house, what happened?"

I knew what he was talking about. "You said, that I wasn't as tough as I pretended to be. That was one of the first things Jordy said to me when we first met. Combined with the date, it was just too much."

Corey ran his fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry I caused you pain," he said softly.

I shook my head. "No. It needed to be done. I don't regret it," I said honestly. I was losing myself in his eyes and I suddenly wanted more. I reached up with my hand and pulled his head down, I stretched up until my lips found his.

I wanted to taste him and I wasn't disappointed. His lips were soft and warm. I turned around completely and pressed my body against him. Corey wiggled his body down the bed so he was lying on his back with me on top. Our lips never separated. I increased the pressure of the kiss and his mouth opened allowing me in. I could feel his hands running over my back and ass, working under my boxers, as my tongue darted into the wonderful warmth of his mouth. He tasted exquisite and I wanted more. I intensified my kissing and began to grind my hips against him. I could feel his growing erection against my thigh.

Then Corey rolled over, putting me on my back. His large bulk overshadowed me and I felt like I was home. Corey stretched his long, lean body over me, completely covering my smaller frame. He raised my arms above my head and entwined our fingers together. I was immobilized. Our lips and mouths continued to taste and explore. His manhood continued to expand against my leg. My own erection was rock hard in my shorts. His mouth ravaged me and I moaned with pleasure. It had been too long since I'd felt so good, so aroused, so desired.

"I want you," I whispered to him.

I could feel him smiled against my skin. Then he stopped. Corey lifted his head and looked down at me. "I want you too, Trevor. I love you." He sighed and rolled off me. I quickly missed the weight and warmth of his body. "But not like this. Not today of all days." He glanced over at me to gauge my reaction.

I was disappointed and I was damned horny, but I could see his point. I met his gaze and nodded. "I know," I said softly.

Corey rolled to his side and leaned over for a quick kiss. He rolled off the bed and stood looking at me. "Well? Come on!" he said with a grin.

I smiled up at him. "Where are we going?" I asked curiously, not moving from the bed.

"God, if you smile at me like that all the time, we aren't going anywhere," he said seriously, leaning back over the bed for another brief kiss. I felt myself blush. I couldn't believe it!

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. "There's only a week till Christmas and I noticed that you're house is lacking in the Christmas cheer department. So we are going to take care of that, right now."

I loved how commanding he was. It was sweet. "Okay, okay. Just let me change." I pulled on some clean clothes and made a quick trip to the bathroom. I looked at my reflection and saw a completely different person. My eyes were still a little puffy from crying, but there was a light inside that had been gone for so long. I smiled at myself and walked out to join Corey.

We took my jeep, but I let Corey drive. He knew the city much better than I did and he knew where he wanted to go. It felt so good, just driving around with him. The first stop we made was at a restaurant, because neither of us had eaten breakfast. We both ordered bacon and eggs. We chatted about nothing in particular as we ate, but my thoughts started to wander.

I was silent as we climbed back into the jeep.

"Trevor?" Corey said softly.

I looked over at him and smiled slightly. "Would you mind if we took a little side trip first?" I asked quietly. Corey shook his head. "I'd like to go to the cemetery," I explained. I knew it was time.

Corey nodded and reached over for my hand. We stopped at a flower shop and I picked up a bouquet of flowers. I told Corey which cemetery and he drove. I directed him to the right section, then he parked the jeep and I climbed out.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" I said as I turned back to the jeep.

"Take your time," Corey said gently.

I closed the door and walked over to where Jordy was buried. I looked at the headstone. He'd had no family so I paid for everything. I didn't know what to put on the stone so I simply listed his name, date of birth and death. I added one word, loved.

"I did love you Jordy," I whispered as I set the flowers at the base of the stone. "And I know you loved me too. But maybe neither of us was ready for a real relationship. I don't know." I sighed. "But I think I am now. And if Corey's the one, I'm not going to ruin it. I hope you're happier wherever you are. And I hope you can be happy for me." I touched the stone and started to turn, then turned back. "I never meant to ignore you or hurt you. I hope you can forgive me. It's taken a while, but I think that finally I can forgive myself now. I'm going to spend time getting to know Corey, and I promise I won't make the same mistakes with him, that I did with you. Merry Christmas," I whispered and turned to slowly walk back to the jeep.

It was remarkable how much better I felt after talking to Jordy. I realized that I really was forgiving myself. I had many years of living and loving to look forward to, and I was going to enjoy them! I climbed back into the jeep and turned to smile at Corey.

"Hey," I said softly.

Corey smiled brightly at me and leaned forward to gently kiss me. "All set?" he asked quietly.

I returned the kiss and then nodded. "Yup. Let's go," I said as I reached to fasten my seatbelt.

>From the cemetery, Corey drove around to nearly a dozen stores. He insisted that I needed lights for outside, decorations for the tree that we still had to get, and a bunch of other things. I let him talk me into most things. The one condition I had was that I pay for everything.

We stopped again for lunch before going to a tree lot and picking out a real Christmas tree. It had been a while since I'd really done anything for Christmas. The last few years I'd been completely alone. Even before that, I never went all out. But Corey's enthusiasm was contagious. Corey drove us back to my house and we carried all our purchases inside. Corey brought the tree inside and set it up in the living room. I made us some hot chocolate and we spent the rest of the afternoon decorating the tree and the rest of the house.

I made us spaghetti for dinner and as darkness settled in, we stepped outside the house to check out the lights. The white icicle lights dangled from the roof and lit up the front yard. Through the front window, the multicolored lights on the Christmas tree were visible. We stood quietly looking at the house and Corey wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Thank you," I whispered emotionally.

Corey kissed my cheek. "You're welcome," he whispered back.

Corey grasped my hand as we walked back into the house. We cuddled up on the couch and stared at the beautiful tree. I was quickly becoming used to having Corey's arms around me and I wasn't sorry.

"Do you want to just stay here tonight or would you like to go out?" Corey asked, breaking the silence. I glanced at the clock and found that it was just before nine.

I turned in Corey's embrace and found the tree lights reflecting off his eyes making them sparkle. "Would you mind if we went out? I spend so much time at home I'd like to go have a drink and maybe do some dancing." I realized I was assuming a lot. "Do you like to dance?" I asked hesitantly.

Corey smiled. "I love to dance Trevor. Would you mind if we go to my place so I can change?" he asked, looking down at the jeans and sweatshirt he was wearing.

I quickly changed from my own sweatshirt to a snug, long-sleeved t-shirt. I decided my cargoes would be okay for the night. We took Corey's Sunfire and drove to his apartment. It was about the same distance from the downtown strip as my place, but in the opposite direction. He gave me a quick tour of the one bedroom apartment, then took a brief five-minute shower and dressed. He was ready to go in twenty minutes. Personally, I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was wearing snug black jeans that showed off all his...assets … nicely. A light blue button down shirt brought out his eyes.

Soon we were back downtown. Corey parked and we got out. I was surprised, but happy when he walked over to take my hand. We walked into one of the more popular clubs and it was hopping. Luckily, we found a table.

Corey leaned down close. "What do you want, babe?" he asked raising his voice above the booming music.

I grinned at him. "Sex on a beach?" I said with a straight face.

Corey laughed and kissed me. "I'm sure that can be arranged. Is that what you want to drink too?" I nodded and Corey walked over to the bar. I watched as at least a dozen heads (and I mean the ones with eyes, ears and noses!) turned to follow his progress through the crowd. Open lust was clear on many of the faces. I certainly couldn't blame them. Corey was by far the hottest guy in the bar. At the same time, I felt a pang of jealousy and fear. He could have his pick of any guy there, why was he with me?

I could see Corey reach the bar and the two bartenders both ran to him, wanting to serve him. Service him, more likely. A couple of minutes later he was walking back towards me carrying the drinks. He seemed oblivious of the stares he was getting. A couple of the more daring guys said something to him, but he just smiled and kept walking. I was actually relieved when he reached the table.

He sat down across from me and handed me my drink. I took a long swallow. "Is it always like that?" I asked him.

He looked at me in confusion. "Like what?"

God, he was too much, gorgeous, sweet, sensitive, humble and oblivious. I grinned. "You had the head, both heads, of every man in the bar watching you my love," I told him.

His eyes lit up. "Say that again!" he insisted.

Okay, maybe not so humble! "I said every man was watching you."

He shook his head. "Not that part. The last part."

I had to think for a second. What had I said? Ah, yes. "My love?" That was it! There was that twinkle in his eyes. That spark made him even more attractive, if that was possible.

He reached across the table and grasped my hand. He pulled me to my feet and we walked onto the dance floor. It was a slow song. I couldn't tell you which one though I was too caught up in the sensations of Corey's arms around me. I wrapped my arms around his waist, while his arms went over my shoulders. My head rested against his chest and I let him lead. I knew I was completely gone, but I just hadn't said the words.

We moved wordlessly, turning slowly to the beat of the music. A few times, I glanced around us and I could see looks of envy directed at me. I didn't care. Corey was with me, in my arms. Everyone else could look, but not touch.

The next song was a fast one. Corey and I moved a little bit apart from each other and continued to dance. A number of other guys started dancing close to us and started bumping with Corey, even though the dance floor was still quite empty. Corey tried to ignore them but it was beginning to piss me off. After a few minutes, Corey noticed my expression. He stopped dancing and turned to the three closest guys.

"Do you guys mind! I'm here dancing with my lover and I'm not interested!" he said forcefully. Corey towered at least six inches above them and the three men backed off. Corey turned back to me and moved closer. "I'm sorry they upset you Trevor," he said sincerely.

I grinned and pulled his head down to kiss him. "That's okay lover. I think they have the picture now," I said.

For the rest of the night, no one else tried to make a move on Corey. We left after last call. Both of us had only had a couple of drinks throughout the night. I was completely sober so I know Corey, with his added height and weight, would be okay to drive. We drove back to my place. Corey pulled into the driveway intending to drop me off then go home.

"Corey?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you...will you spend the night? I mean just to sleep. To sleep and hold me," I asked shyly. It had only been a day and I was already addicted to his touch.

Corey turned off the car. Hand in hand, we walked into the house. I stopped to lock up, and then we continued down the hall to the bedroom. We took turns in the bathroom before both stripping to our boxers and crawling under the covers. Corey turned on his side to face me. I turned around and moved back so I was spooned in front of him. His arms wrapped comfortably around me.

"Good night Trevor," Corey whispered softly.

"Good night Corey. Thanks for today," I whispered back before we both fell silent.

I ran around the house making sure the place was neat and clean. The last few days had passed in a blur; a happy blur though. Corey and I had spent much of the time together, talking and getting to know each other better, without the complications of sex. He'd had to attend a family Christmas party the one afternoon and evening. Despite his invitation, I thought it was too soon to meet the entire family. We compromised, sort of, when I agreed to join his immediate family for Christmas dinner on the 25th. But now it was Christmas Eve and I was waiting for Corey. We were going to spend the evening together and I had his Christmas gift planned; at least one of his gifts.

I had been in a panic, trying to decide what to give him for Christmas. I'd bought him one small gift. The other presents were more personal.

The door bell!

I walked to the door and let Corey in.

"Hi baby," he said leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Hello my love," I said and pulled his face back for a proper kiss. Mmmm, he tastes so good! I noticed he had a plastic bag and he carried it into the living room, putting it under the tree. He smiled at me. "For me?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Could be!" The hidden smile gave it away.

We walked towards each other and met in the middle of the room. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him. I couldn't get enough of him, and I still feel that way.

"Merry Christmas, Trevor," Corey whispered in my ear. "I love you."

I pulled back so I could see his face. "Merry Christmas Corey. I love you." There, I said it and God did it ever feel good.

Corey's eyes widened and I watched a tear slide down his cheek. "Oh God! You mean it?" he asked. I nodded and he pulled me into his embrace, hugging me tightly.

"Air Corey!" I gasped and his grip eased.

"Sorry baby! I love you so much Trevor. I didn't know if you would ever say those words to me."

"I love you, I love you, I love you!" I whispered back to him.

I made Corey sit on the couch while I grabbed some food from the kitchen. It had always been tradition in my home when I was growing up that Christmas Eve would basically be hors d'oeuvres and desserts. Now, I didn't do more than buy a variety box of frozen hors d'oeuvres and throw them in the oven, but it was the thought that counts.

I put the tray on the coffee table where we could snack on the food and drink the punch. We had the radio on playing some easy Christmas music and the lights were lit on the tree. I couldn't believe how relaxed and comfortable I felt. I knew it had everything to do with Corey.

We were sitting in our favorite position, Corey against the one arm of the couch, his legs stretched out on the seat and me between his legs, as we nibbled on the food. I loved the safety and security I felt. "Corey?"

"Hmmm?" he murmured against my hair.

"Could we exchange presents tonight? Then we can relax in the morning before going to meet your family," I suggested.

"Whatever you want is fine with me, Trevor. You've already given me the one present I really wanted," he said tenderly.

I turned my head to kiss his cheek. "I love you," I said softly and Corey smiled happily.

I wiggled out of his embrace and walked over to squat down beside the tree. Which gift to give him first? I decided to give him the store-wrapped present first. I picked up the small wrapped present and turned back to Corey.

"Hey, before you come back, would you grab the plastic bag for me?" Corey asked. I picked up the bag and walked back over to sit on the couch facing him.

He took the bag and dug around in it for a moment before pulling out a small package. We grinned at each other and swapped gifts. At the same time we both tore off the wrapping, and then started to giggle as we realized the boxes looked very similar. They were both from the same jewelry store. I opened my box first. Inside was a gold chain with a small pendant in the shape of an open book. I turned the pendant over, knowing there would be an inscription. I wasn't disappointed. "My bard, you have the words to my heart, Love C."

I looked up a Corey and blinked back a few tears. "Its beautiful Corey," I said softly.

He smiled. "You like?"

I leaned forward to kiss him. "I love it! I love you. Your turn," I said, encouraging him to open his box.

He lifted the lid and saw the thick, white gold chain inside. Attached to it was a pendant in the shape of the symbol for medicine. I watched him turn the pendant over and read the inscription. "My Love, mender of my broken heart, Love T."

He looked up at me in amazement. "Its beautiful, and uncanny how much we think alike," he said. He undid the clasp and put the chain on. I did likewise. He pulled me close for another kiss and I sighed happily when it ended.

"I wasn't sure what else to get you, but I actually had your other gift already before this last week," Corey said as he pulled something else out of the bag. I could tell immediately it was books. I pulled the wrapping paper off and saw that there were three books by three of my favorite writers. "Now, I didn't know what writers you really liked, but just from our lunch time conversations, I thought that you probably liked these ones to some extent and.…" I reached up and covered his lips with my fingers to silence him.

"Corey, these are three of my favorite writers!" I opened the first book and found that it was personalized and signed. I quickly looked in the other two and found the same. "How did you manage this?" I asked him in wonderment.

He grinned. "My Dad has some friends in the publishing community. I got him to call in a favor," he said.

I grinned. "Remind me to thank him tomorrow." I kissed Corey again. "And remind me to thank you again later," I whispered slyly.

Corey laughed and blushed slightly.

I carefully put the books on the coffee table and walked back to the tree. There were two more gifts under it and I picked them both up before returning to the couch.

"Now, I didn't actually buy these gifts but I think you'll get the meaning," I said seriously. I handed him the larger of the two. He pulled off the wrapping and found a stack of bound papers. He opened the plain cover and read the first page. "Twin Triumph ... a novel by Rover T. Draw ... For Corey, I love you. Thank you."

Corey looked up at me in confusion. "It's a novel I had written at the same time I was writing Ransom Rising," I explained. "I'm going to send it to my editor and then to my publisher for publishing."

He looked back at the page and ran his fingers over the dedication. "Can I make one request?" he asked quietly and looked up at me. I nodded. "Use your own name. You should be proud of what you've done. And I would rather read a book written by Trevor Ward, than Rover Draw."

I smiled. "You know what that will mean?" I asked. If I used my own name, it would only take a short time before people who knew me would know who Corey was. We had never really discussed our public selves.

Corey grinned. "I know. And I'm damn proud of it. Trevor, I've never hidden my sexuality. I don't flaunt it, but anytime someone asks me, I'm proud to say I'm gay. And if people approach me, I'll be damned proud to say, 'Yes, I'm Trevor's Corey.' Okay?"

Trevor's Corey. God that sounded so incredible. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "As long as I get to tell people that I'm Corey's Trevor," I whispered into his ear making him laugh.

"Deal," he replied.

I sat back on the couch and picked up the last wrapped present. It was tiny and it was rather silly that I wrapped it, but the Christmas spirit had attacked me, so what can I say? I handed it to Corey.

He looked at the little bits of paper and carefully pulled the tape. Inside was a single key. He stared at the key for a long moment and I wondered if I'd been wrong to give it to him. Finally he looked up at me and I could see tears in his eyes. I thought I had better explain myself.

"That's for whenever you want to come over, even if I'm not here. It may be a little early to talk about you moving in, but maybe in a couple of months we should talk about that. If you want? Till then, I want you to feel free to come over whenever you want."

He wiped the tears away. "This means so much to me Trevor. I never thought I would find someone who I wanted to spend my life with, and I am so happy I was wrong. I love you so much," he whispered as we hugged again.

I kissed his cheek. "I love you too," I whispered back.

A few minutes later we separated again. "I have one more gift for you," I said softly. He looked at me in surprise.

"Trevor! You've already given me so much," he protested.

I just grinned. "Well, I think you'll like this one best. Wait here and I'll go get it," I instructed. I ran down the hall to the bedroom. I turned on the tiny white Christmas lights that I'd strung around the room, and then made sure everything was in place. I quickly stripped off my clothes, putting them neatly on the chair. I grabbed the large red bow from the bed and secured it around my rapidly hardening manhood. I slowly walked back down the hall. I pause before the doorway.

"Okay Corey, close your eyes," I called out.

"Trevor..."

"Please Corey?" I pleaded.

"Okay. My eyes are closed," he said.

I slipped into the living room and walked over until I was standing between Corey and the Christmas tree. "Merry Christmas my love," I murmured huskily.

Corey opened his eyes and gasped softly. I could see his gaze quickly fill with desire and I laughed softly as I saw the bulge in his pants twitch. He stood up and walked over, gazing down at me. He raised one of his large hands and tenderly ran it down my cheek and throat to my collarbone. "You were right baby, this is the best gift of them all," he murmured. Suddenly he reached down and picked me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I could feel the slightly coarse skin of his palms cupping my ass cheeks as we both leaned forward to kiss. My own hardness was trapped between us and the silky material of his shirt was driving me wild.

Corey started to carefully walk towards the bedroom, never relaxing his grip on me, or separating our lips. He turned the corner into the room and quickly walked to the bed. He knelt with one knee on the mattress and gently lay me down on the soft blanket. Then he stepped back from the bed. Our eyes never broke contact as he began to unbutton his shirt. He pulled the shirttails out of his pants and quickly discarded the piece of clothing. My eyes raked over his incredible physique, taking in his broad shoulders and smooth, hairless chest. A distinct six-pack was visible, with a slight happy trail leading down towards his pants and the treasure hidden there. God, I couldn't believe that he was mine! I licked my lips and he giggled. He continued to strip for me, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He let them drop to the floor and stepped out of them, kicking them out of the way. Now he stood before me wearing only his boxers.

My eyes dropped to the very prominent bulge tenting the material. I could feel the precum leaking from my own member. He reached for the waistband and slowly pushed the shorts down, releasing his pulsing rod. Oh God. I thought I was going to cum right then. He was beautiful. He was cut, and the arrow shaped head was a deep red color, slightly wider than the rest of the large organ. Just like the rest of him, his member was perfectly proportioned. A bush of light brown hairs surrounded it. Large egg sized testicles hung down in a hairless sack below. I reached out with my hands from my position on the bed, aching to feel his body against mine, his body inside mine. Slowly he stepped over to the side of the bed. His throbbing erection was at the perfect height when I rolled onto my stomach and propped myself on my elbows. I leaned forward and kissed the head. Corey moaned loudly.

He reached down and flipped me onto my back before lying down on top. He moved up so our leaking members were rubbing against each other. Leaning down he locked our lips together and kissed me deeply. My hips automatically began to thrust up against him. I could feel my eruption quickly approaching. It had been over three years since I'd been with another man. Masturbation just wasn't the same as having a warm, living, breathing human to arouse you and touch you. My hands roamed up and down the broad expanse of Corey's back.

"Oh God, Corey! I can't hold it. I'm going to cum," I gasped as I thrust harder against him. Corey suddenly slid down my body and I screamed when his warm mouth engulfed me. That was all it took as my body reached the point of no return. Burst after burst of my warm juice flooded Corey's mouth and he swallowed it down quickly. His lips and tongue were doing incredible things to me and I kept cumming. My body thrashed on the bed as the exquisite feelings tortured me. Finally, my rod stopped shooting. Corey continued to suckle until I cried out from the over stimulation. He moved back up over me and kissed me deeply, feeding me some of my own cum. Mixed with his own saliva, I thought I'd never tasted anything better.

I slowly calmed down but my body was still highly sensitized. Corey continued to run his hands over my chest, tweaking my nipples and dipping into my navel. More than anything I wanted him in me. I lifted his chin to see his eyes.

"Please Corey, make love to me," I pleaded softly. "I need to feel you."

I reached over to the bedside table where I'd already placed the KY and some condoms. I grabbed a condom and held it in front of him. "Do you need to use this?" I asked softly. Corey already knew my history, and I was pretty sure I knew his, but I wanted to give him the choice. I knew he wouldn't risk my life. Corey smiled and shook his head. He reached over and grabbed the lube instead. I threw the condom onto the floor.

"Are you sure, Trevor?" Corey asked softly, before he moved further.

I smiled broadly and nodded. "Completely. Just go easy. It's been a long time," I reminded him.

He leaned forward for another kiss. "I'd never do anything to hurt you baby. I promise."

I softly stroked his cheek. "I know that," I said seriously. It was true. I'd never met a more caring, tender, giving man.

Corey started kissing his way down my body, spending long moments licking, sucking and nibbling on each nipple before kissing down my ribs and over my stomach. His hot mouth found my refreshed erection and sucked it down his throat making me gasp in surprise. He slowly pulled back, allowing me to fall from his mouth as he moved down more. He licked my balls before using that incredible mouth to suckle on one, then the other, making them slick with saliva. I lifted my legs and planted my feet on the bed, giving him free access to my entire being.

His tongue began to trail moisture down below my balls, working its way to my puckered entrance. Corey suddenly grabbed my legs around my ankles and lifted them up to his shoulders raising my hips and opening me up to him even more. His strong hands gently spread my ass cheeks apart as his tongue continued its path down to my crack. Licking along one cheek, then the other, he teased me by avoiding my hole entirely. Again I was thrashing and twisting on the bed at the growing sensations.

"Oh fuck, Corey!" I exclaimed when his tongue suddenly brushed over my puckered opening. My hips bucked up at the new sensation. Jordy had never rimmed me. My hands pulled at the sheets as Corey's tongue probed more intently and slowly pushed its way into me. I thought I was going to cum again. Never had I felt anything so fantastic. Corey reached around and grabbed the tops of my thighs to hold me still while his tongue and lips worked over my hole.

I knew I couldn't take much more and started to beg. "Oh...oh please...Corey...Corey love I need you in me. I'm going to cum soon if you keep doing that...oh...I want to cum with you," I managed to gasp out.

Corey pulled back a little and I was able to gasp for breath easier. My body calmed, but only slightly. I knew it wouldn't take much more. Corey knelt between my legs and opened the lube. I gazed down at my incredible man and felt my heart surge with emotion. I never thought I'd feel anything again and now my emotions were buzzing more than they ever have before, all because of my beautiful Corey.

Corey looked up and our eyes locked as he gently pushed into me with one slicked finger. I gasped softly but never broke eye contact. He pushed, twisted and pulled the finger, loosening my ring. He repeated the process with two fingers, then again with three. At one point, his fingers brushed my prostate and my erection pulsed taking me precariously close to the edge.

"Please, Corey!" I whispered huskily, close to tears for wanting him so much.

His fingers withdrew, leaving me empty, but I knew something even better was coming. He ran his slicked hand over his own steel-like erection and moved closer to me. I watched him position the head at my opening, and then he moved up over me, leaning down for a kiss.

"Tell me if it hurts too much," he whispered as his hot tongue ran across my cheek. I could feel him pushing slowly at my hole, then a sudden surge and the head was through. I gasped at the momentary twinge of pain and Corey froze.

I wrapped my arms around him, my arms not able to meet across his broad back. I found his lips with my own and kissed him hard. "Keep going, love, I need you in me," I whispered.

Corey honored my request and slowly pushed forward with his hips. His long member slid into me until I could feel his coarse pubic hairs against my butt cheeks. He filled me perfectly and completely. I knew I would never be whole again without him.

Corey kissed all over my face, holding himself still and waiting for my 'okay'. I couldn't wait any longer. "Do it Corey! God, pound into me. I want to feel you moving in me, filling me with your love."

That was all the encouragement that Corey needed and he started to move. Slowly he withdrew, pulling his length back until only the mushroom shaped head remained, caught by the ring of muscle. Then in one long thrust, he filled me again, brushing against my prostate in the process. My own manhood surged again and I knew it would only take a couple of more thrusts like that before I lost it.

Corey pulled back again and pushed back in, a little harder this time. I gasped again. My breath was coming in short gasps as my body moved ever closer. Corey withdrew and thrust only about five more times and I was gone. I screamed out Corey's name but he swallowed the scream with his mouth covering mine. His tongue seared my mouth as for the second time in less than twenty minutes my body erupted. Without a hand touching it, my manhood pulsed between Corey and I, releasing my cream and covering our chests and abs. As I was cumming, Corey stopped moving within me. He waited until most of the orgasm passed, then he began to move again.

He leaned back and quickly picked up the pace and before long he was really slamming into me. Every thrust was better, deeper, harder than the one before. I stretched my arms above my head and grabbed the bottom of the headboard to keep myself from being driven against it. Corey became like a man possessed, and I loved every second of it. I was amazed at how long he could hold off, as his rhythm never faltered. A while later, I finally noticed a change in his pace.

He moved back down on top of me and found my mouth again, as his thrusts became short and fast, brushing constantly over my hypersensitive prostate.

"Oh Trevor...baby...I love you so much," Corey whispered in my ear. "Here it comes baby. Cum with me again," he murmured.

Incredibly enough, Corey reached down between our sweat-covered bodies and grabbed my erection. He gently stroked me in time with his thrusts and I could feel another explosion approaching. He drove hard and deep into me a couple of final times, before his body went tense.

I could feel his manhood swell inside my channel, then the hot streams of his cum raced up in to me. Feeling his cream fill me sent me soaring one more time. We clung to each other as our bodies convulsed and spasmed in pleasure. Corey collapsed on top of me when he finally stopped filling me. That was one of the best feelings, having his entire body covering mine and still feeling his rigid organ inside me.

Corey's head rested beside mine. He turned his head slightly and kissed my cheek. "That was the most incredible feeling ever. Making love has never been that good before. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around me. Not pulling out of me, he moved one of my legs so he could lay down behind me. Our bodies spooned, still attached by his member in me. At that moment, I never wanted to separate.

I snuggled back against him as we both began to drift into an exhausted sleep.

"Merry Christmas Trevor," Corey murmured.

"Merry Christmas Corey," I whispered back. It was definitely my best Christmas ever.