Note: My email provider (YAHOO) screwed up and this
chapter got delayed by a week because my editor's email didn't reach me in
Life was good. Albeit a little stressful. I was still
finding it hard to cope at school. Every morning when I woke up, I wanted
bury the sun and set the night free. Every night, we talked like we hadn't
seen or heard from each other for years.
We weren't a couple out of a soppy quixotic book – we had our own lives to
live. But I lived a lifetime in those five odd minutes that I talked with
Rene. It would start out all weird – How was your day?....Bad...Yeah, mine
too...Better than yesterday?....I'm not sure...Yeah, me too. But it would
always end with the three little words– I love you.
On a Friday, we decided to take a break and hangout. We decided to be
impulsive. I dressed up, but then felt overdressed, so I undressed and
dressed again. I finally decided to wear a light blue t-shirt with a
horizontal white stripe across my chest, with dark blue jeans and a black
"Ahh...all dressed up eh?" Willow quipped.
"What? Do I look decked out?"
"Ahem...no, you just look cute."
I smiled "Thanks..."
"So, your first date...how does it feel?"
"First date...?" I laughed. "Yea...yea...you go study hon, you got exams
"Well you do too!"
"Bah...it's not until next week..."
"So when are you coming back?"
"I don't know...see you later then..."
Will was now blocking my way. "What's the hurry boy? You never talk to me
these days...don't you dare ignore your only girlfriend!" she complained.
I was standing near Penn Square tower at sever thirty. We
had planned to meet up at eight. A sweet voice called out my name from
behind. I wasn't the only one who was early.
I turned around. He was wearing a shiny tight black t-shirt and jeans.
It seemed as though I hadn't seen him for eons. I just smiled. He gave me
a quick peck on the cheek.
"Let's go" he said.
We decided to buy some burgers and take them to the park to eat.
"Thanks..." I said taking the burger.
He sat beside me on the park bench.
"Haven't heard from Laura for awhile..." I said.
"Ahhh...she's ok...she is just busy like you"
"NO...I'm not busy!" I said, "Well a little maybe..."
What I meant was – I'm never busy for you damn it.
"Does that mean I can't talk to you every night?" he asked worried.
I grinned. "NO...it doesn't mean that"
He was relieved and was trying hard to hide it.
"She's fine, a little cranky; I guess too much medicine does that to you!"
This was going great. First five minutes into our first date and we talked
about Laura's and Will's well being. Just great!
Munching on his burger he asked me, "So where are we..."
"You know – you and me..."
"I don't know...its strange Rene..."
"All these months...the tension, the most unanticipated things happening in
my life and now..."
He looked at me strangely,"And now?"
"Now I have a new person in my life..." I said and looked at him.
"WHO?" he asked.
"You...you dumbass" I smiled.
He blushed. "And that makes you..."
"...fucking happy" I completed. "I'm just not used to so much happiness I
guess" I laughed.
"You think too much and you are too fucking crazy!" he stated.
"Yeah... I know...So what do we do now" I asked as I finished
eating my burger.
"Let's walk...I want to take you somewhere" he said.
We aimlessly walked in the park.
"Rene..." I said.
"What did you think about me the first time you saw me?"
"Nothing much," he said blankly.
"Well, honestly, you were so stoned at Laura's party; I thought you were
one weird kid..."
"I was weird that night wasn't I?"
He nodded yes.
"What did you think about me?" he asked.
I just fell instantly in love.
"Nothing much..." I said.
"Well, I thought you were just another rich spoiled brat..."
"I am," he quipped. "Didn't you find me cute?"
You confirmed the fact that God was unfair when he made some of us.
"I thought you were ok.."
He tickled me. "Well, what do you think about me now eh?"
I yelped. I screamed, "Ok OK! I confess...I did think you were cute..."
"That's better. Don't ever lie to me."
"I won't..." I promised.
"Words aren't enough...you've got to kiss me..."
"Yeah...what's the problem..."
"Rene...people are all around us!"
"It's now or I will never trust you Jess..."
"I can't kiss you here...let's go somewhere..."
"No, it's now or never" he said.
"Don't play around with me, Rene..."
"What's the matter...you don't love..."
I kissed him. After a few seconds I withdrew. Strangely, I wasn't as
terrified as I thought I would be.
"That ought to shut you up..." I said.
I looked around. A little kid was staring at us with his mouth wide open.
I winked at him. He smiled at us and ran away.
Rene put his hands over my shoulders and we walked away.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked.
"Just walk dickhead..."
We walked for awhile and then Rene stopped and turned to me.
"Now...close your eyes..."
"Why? Do you have something to give me?"
He looked at me blankly, "No, but I'd like to kick your ass...just close
your eyes, idiot"
I could feel his hands on my shoulders. He made me walk a few steps before
he said, "Open your eyes."
I opened them.
I could see Rene standing in front of me and nothing else.
"What do you want me to see?"
He gave me a quick kiss on my lips. "This" he said and moved sideways.
I was awestruck.
It was so fucking beautiful. Between two trees I could see the beautiful
lights of the entire city. And near the horizon we could see the
lighthouse brightening the ocean. The night was perfect with the stars and
the beautiful moon above us.
"FUCK!" I exclaimed, "Where are we?"
"Along the coast road you eventually get breathtaking sights like these
and this is a special spot..."
We lay on the cool grass.
"I come here often... to gather my thoughts..." he continued.
"It's marvelous Rene...I've lived here all my life and never knew about this
place! I feel so dumb right now"
He laughed. "It's okay...it's not like I've seen everything here..."
"I so want to kiss you now," I confessed.
"Because this place is divine...it's sacred."
"You're kidding...aren't you?"
"No...I'm sorry Jess."
"Well okay...that's fine with me," I said and turned away. He could be a
Before I knew it he pulled me by my shirt and kissed me.
"Fool" he said.
And we kissed, kissed and kissed.
When I returned home, Will was still awake and obviously
enquired about my "first date". I told her it was perfect.
As I lay on my bed, I smiled. I was happy, really happy. The phone rang.
It must be Rene just wanting to hear my voice before going to sleep.
I ran to pick the phone.
"I love you" I said to the mouth piece.
"I bet you do Jesse"
My heart froze. It wasn't Rene. It was...
"Don't think it is over Jesse...it never was and never will be..."
My mind was a nervous wreck. I couldn't concentrate on my
studies and couldn't do anything about it. Talking to Rene was weird. He
would ask me what was wrong and I wouldn't say a word about the phone
call. I didn't tell anyone, not even Will or Laura.
That night I got another phone call. This time, El threatened me that if I
don't forget Rene, I was looking for big trouble.
A week had passed. Everything was going alright until one night Rene
wanted to see me. He asked me to come to his house. I missed him so badly
that I agreed instantaneously even though I had an exam the next day.
Then I remembered the phone calls. I couldn't do it. I knew Rene could
easily read my face. I didn't know why I didn't want to tell Rene about
the phone calls. El warned me that I shouldn't tell Rene, but then there
had to be something more stopping me.
Fuck, what did this drug addict want with me. Why couldn't he let us live
I called Rene.
"Rene...I don't think I can make it tonight..."
"Why?" he asked. He didn't sound that perturbed.
"...well I just remembered, I've an exam tomorrow!"
"Ohh...okay...hmm...we can meet later then..."
"Yeah...sure...so what's up."
"Hey Jess...someone's at the door, I will call you later darling...okay?"
Phew. Now I could actually study.
I was wrong. I just couldn't concentrate. I had to get it
off my chest. I thought about telling Will but she was sleeping. I didn't
know what to do.
I thought it over and over again and finally decided to do something about
this. I got ready to go.
I was at Rene's in half an hour's time. I knocked at the door. There was
no turning back now.
A tall guy opened the door.
It was El.
"You little bastard!" he shouted.
Before I could react I felt my cheeks compressing inside my mouth
intensified by the taste of blood filling my mouth.
"What the fuck..." I shouted and punched El back. "Fuck you"
Before El could punch me back (and probably finish me) Rene broke us
Rene shouted, "El...go away...just fucking GO!"
El stared at me before leaving.
It was over.
Rene was now holding me. "Are you okay?"
"I think so" I said as blood oozed from my mouth.
"Shit...you're bleeding badly"
Fifteen minutes later, I could still feel the pain and the chillness of
the ice pack on my cheeks.
"What the fuck was he doing here?" I said trying to shout.
"Relax Jess...I can't just get rid of him yet" Rene said.
Don't think it is over Jesse...it never was and never will be...
"What does he think of himself...he can't go punching..."
"Shhh.." Rene said and slanted toward me. "Don't worry about him; he won't
"Well I hope he's hurt as bad as I am..." I said.
We both knew that wasn't plausible. He was a gigantic piece of shit.
"I thought you guys are over" I said.
"We are...but I do see him now and then, he still needs me Jess. I can't
leave him just like that."
"I need to tell you something Rene..." I said. I wanted to tell him about
the phone calls.
"Wait. I have to tell you something first Jess. I don't want to hide this
He was scaring me now.
"What?" I asked anxiously.
"You know I told you how El has trouble giving up drugs..."
He was very uncomfortable now. "Jess. I was into drugs too."