Give My My Angel
Rene's wooden friends were missing in his room. I glanced around, but they were gone. Only his chair was standing at one corner.
"What are you looking at?" Rene said.
"Uh...nothing," I said.
"So are you gonna tell me what the fuck is going on?" he demanded.
"Everyone thinks I screwed your sister because of you," I said. The thought of actually screwing Laura made me shiver.
Rene narrowed his eyes. "Wha-...what the fuck are you talking about?" he said.
"You saw us...I mean...your sister kissing me that day--"
"--Fuck you Jesse! That's bullshit! You'd actually think I'd go around telling people you screwed my sister?"
I blinked at him and then nodded my head foolishly. Rene shrugged. He went and sat on his chair. I looked at him for awhile and then I sat on his bed.
"My sister..." he said looking at the floor. "She has a problem..." He sounded morose.
"What kind of problem?" I said.
He looked at me. "I think she's a nymphomaniac," he said.
"Wha...Are you serious?" I said.
He just nodded his head slightly. Laura was a nympho? I couldn't believe it. I actually didn't believe it.
"You're not lying to me, are you?" I said.
He got up from his chair and leaned over to me. He was inches away from my face. I arched back from the intensity of his gaze.
"Look...everybody lies...I lie too," he said, "But my sister...I would never lie about her. Do you get me?"
"Yes..." I muttered.
What was I thinking? If this angry guy in front of me has told me that the world was ending tomorrow, I would have believed him.
"How long...has she got...?"
"I knew only after the party..."
"O-kay," I said, "Why doesn't she get help..."
"She doesn't need help...she needs a good whack."
I held my lips from laughing. I so wanted to whack Laura. Maybe we could do a group whacking.
"So she'd spread those rumors about me?"
"Yes Jess. She likes to sleep with guys...but you didn't, so she decided to have some fun."
The BITCH, I thought.
"She needs serious mental help Rene...you know that." I said.
"Fuck...I know. It isn't as simple as you think. I'm trying to help her. I can't even tell my mom..." Something had stopped him from speaking further.
"Why?" I said.
"I can't tell you that," he said, "but you can help her, Jess."
"Yes...she kinda likes you. She said that you're unique..." he said.
Oh fuck. Why do the wrong people get attracted to me?
"Jesse!" It was Laura.
Speak of the devil. We were both taken aback by her sudden appearance.
"Laura!" I said. You horny bitch!
"I was looking for you everywhere..." she said.
"Look...I've to go home now...I know you can do the rest of the project by yourself..." I said.
Laura stared at Rene suspiciously. Rene just looked at me.
I ran away from that fucked up house as fast as I could.
Willow was missing when I reached home. I wanted to tell her everything that has happened and get her expertise. Where was that damn girl when I needed her?
I sat on the floor watching TV. My mind wandered away. I was in Rene's room again.
"So are you gonna tell me what the fuck is going on?" he demanded
"Nothing is wrong Rene...as long as you are with me..." I said.
Rene gracefully grabs my arm and pulls me. We fall into a magical
embrace. He pushes me on his bed, which is suddenly covered with
flowers. I kiss him on his delectable lips. Someone knocks on the door.
Damn! She always found the wrong time...
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming..." I said. I opened the door.
"Where the heck were you?"
"I was...oh fuck...you won't believe what happened today," I said.
I narrated the events of the day to Willow while she changed, took a bath and ate. Finally she sat with me in front of the TV.
"So this Laura girl...she likes to screw around with many guys..."
"Yeah..." I said.
"You know that's not uncommon," she smirked.
"I don't know...just tell me what to do now!" I said.
"What am I? Some kind of supercomputer to figure out solutions to your problems?" she said.
I laughed. "I'm just...I don't know...I just feel fucked up"
"Go to sleep then, something will come into your head in the morning" she said.
I couldn't wait till morning!
But you can help her Jess.
"Who are you calling?" Willow said.
It had been years since I came to Central Park. Kids were running around shouting and jumping. This Park had brought back so many memories. I knew that was the reason I had stopped coming here. I remembered how Andy and I came here and pretended to be gay lovers, acting mushy with each other. It made the people in the park so uncomfortable. I smiled to myself.
My thoughts were interrupted by Rene's sweet voice.
"Rene..." I said.
He was wearing a plain white T-shirt with a brownish jacket and dark blue jeans. His boyish looks made my knees weak.
"Let's sit down," I said.
We sat down on the park bench.
"So Andy...what's up?" I said. Did I just say Andy?
"Andy?" he said.
"I'm...sorry...I'm just tired today..."
"Did I hurt you back then?"
I smiled. "No...although it was fun hanging on the wall...maybe you can put me there again?"
"No problem...Tell me when you feel like it," he said with the most adorable smile.
"I don't know what to say...I mean about helping Laura."
Laura. The sound of her name spoiled the scene. It was perfect...Rene and Jess sitting on a park bench. Why Laura damn it?
I called Rene and told him that I wanted to help Laura. Willow had told me I have finally lost my crazy brain and asked if she could use it for her med practice. Rene asked me to see him at Central Park. He couldn't talk on the phone because the witch, Laura, was right there with him. And so here we were talking about a very important person – LAURA.
"It's okay..." I said. Was I blushing?
"She doesn't really have a problem...I mean, she really is a nice girl."
Nice girl? The bitch first tried to kiss me and then writes "Man Whore"
on my locker. NICE GIRL, yeah right!
"She needs to see a shrink Rene, you know that."
"If this doesn't work out...I'll make sure she sees a shrink...but I know this will work..."
"Why can't she see a shrink now?" I asked. It made no sense to me. Why was he protecting his sister? He wasn't even protecting her, he was just encouraging her addiction.
"Because she doesn't want to"
"Of course she doesn't want to! `Cuz she thinks she is the most sane person to have graced the earth! Tell your parents for Christ's sake!" I said.
He closed his eyes and looked away from me. "I can't," he said.
"I don't get it..." I said with a tone of finality.
After taking a moment, he said, "She has blackmailed me, Jess. That's why I can't do anything to help her..."
"Blackmail? What did she blackmail you for?" I said. Oh, this is getting interesting.
"I can't tell you that!" he said.
I paused and looked at the kids playing. I wanted to be a kid again. Run and play with the other kids like there was no tomorrow. Not having to worry about evil sluts like Laura smooching me, or hunks like Rene distrusting me.
I looked back at Rene, even though he wasn't looking at me.
"If you want me to help your sister, you have to trust me Rene." I said.
He looked into my eyes. Those eyes reflected innocence of a young boy. They also reflected pain or so I'd like to imagine. Jesse – the Hero saving the dude in distress.
"Trust me, please," I pleaded.
I knew he could trust me. I had no doubt about that. He shouldn't either.
He looked into my eyes, beyond them in fact. His lips moved slowly.
"I'm gay," he said.
My inner self was smiling! In fact, it was jumping around and laughing. He was gay? WOHOOO!
"So what?" I said, sounding unperturbed. I was blissfully flying in the sky with an air of glee and Rene had no clue.
"If I tell my mom about Laura's problem, she swears she will tell me mom that I'm gay. And I'm not ready for that yet ..."
"Oh! Fuck..." I said. "No offense...but your sister is...never mind..." I trailed off. IS A FUCKING BITCH!
"If you can't help her Jess, I'm telling my mom no matter what the consequences..."
"But what do you want me to do?"
"All she needs is love Jess. I know that very well. She doesn't need sex. She needs love...If you can give her that love, she will – "
"- But I don't love her" I said.
"I know. I'm asking you to act as if you're in love with her..."
"We'll try for a week...if it doesn't work, I promise I won't ask you anything..." he said. He sounded desperate. I knew I would do anything for this kid. But even acting as if I was in love with Laura made me sick.
Rene was looking at me, pleading with his eyes.
"Okay I'll do it...but you have to pay me" I said and winked. Of course I was kidding around with him.
He played along. "How much?" he said as we got up.
"How about $5000 for a start?" I quipped.
"You must be kidding me! That is so LOW!" he said and laughed.
We walked away into the darkness that lay ahead of us. Rene had put his hand on my shoulders. It felt like Andy was with me again.
"Let's go get something to eat," Laura said.
"Yeah...I'm hungry too." I said.
While eating the burger, I was actually amazed how fast time had passed with Laura. Although we didn't do much talking, we still enjoyed time together hanging out, doing stuff.
Munching, she spoke, "So why are you doing this?"
"You know...hanging around with me and stuff?" she said.
I stopped eating. "Because I like you," I said.
"Do you take me as a fool?"
I wasn't sure where this was heading. "No!"
"I really appreciate it, Jess"
"Appreciate what Laura?"
"You know what I'm talking about..." she said and the burger disappeared into her mouth.
"My stupid brother talked you into this, didn't he?"
"Rene...No! I've never talked to him..."
She looked at me and put her hand on my cheeks and removed leftovers. I'm a clumsy eater, sue me! "Honey...there are so many things you can do. Lying isn't one of them," she said. She walked away.
I ran behind her. I was tired of this charade.
"Okay. I was lying," I confessed.
"Of course...let's sit down."
We sat beside a fountain. She paused for awhile admiring the beauty of water falling from the fountain.
"He's very protective," she said.
"Yeah..." she said. "Always worrying about me."
Obviously, considering your outrageous behavior.
"He's just being a brother..." I said.
"No, he acts like my fucking father sometimes Jess--and I hated my father"
"My mom divorced my father three years after he was born. She married again a few months later only to get divorced again," she said.
"That's so sad...you guys have gone through a lot, I guess"
"Yeah. They got divorced when I was about 10. Rene never knew his real father. But he was quite close to his step-father."
"Do you remember when it happened?"
"Every single moment" she shuddered.
Right then my impression about Laura took a complete change. The super-slut had suddenly transformed into a helpless girl with a traumatic childhood.
"It didn't stop with that," she continued. "My mom found a job with this fashion agency. She never found time for us after that. She loves us and gave us this house for us to stay."
"I'm really sorry Laura..."
"Nah...it could have been worse. Anyway if you don't want to hang around with me, I won't mind."
You can help her Jess.
"No I want to," I said.
A week had passed since I had seen Rene. But almost everyday I interacted with Laura. It was surprising how I began to feel comfortable with her and even started liking her. Rene was right--she just needed a friend. And I had provided her that friendship.
Although Laura talked more to me, she would never mention her problems. She never talked to me about Harry or the apparent other guys. Even if I tried to instigate a conversation leading to her issues, she cleverly drifted away from it. I was determined to get to the core of her today, when she was coming over to check out my place.
Willow was at home.
"So what are you doing this evening?" I asked.
"Nothing...I got to study for next week's test," Willow said.
"You study 24/7! I think it's time you take a break and chill out, and it happens to be a Saturday!"
She put her book down. "Okay, what's up?"
"Nothing," I said, "I'm just afraid you're becoming a social retard. Go out! Have some fun!"
"Something is up, isn't there?"
"NO, there isn't!"
"Yes, there is, and you're trying to send me away. Oh my god! You're gonna have sex with someone aren't you?"
"With who? Myself?"
"I don't know...You tell me!"
"I am not having sex...can't you just leave for a few hours?"
"No way...only if I get hungry. Tell me who's coming!"
"Laura is coming."
"HA! There is NO way I'm leaving then!"
That was the end of it.
"Hi Jess," she said and hugged me. That was strange. We never hugged.
Willow was right behind me, trying to get a look at Laura.
"Meet Willow, my roommate. Willow who isn't mellow!" I smirked. It was shortly followed by a smack from Willow on my back.
"Hey Laura," Willow said, "Nice to meet you at last. Jess has told me so much about you"
"Oh...Really? What has he been telling you?" Laura asked.
"--You know, Laura, why don't I take you to my room. Willow has to study for her med tests," I said.
Willow glared at me. I dragged Laura to my room and locked the door.
"Hey, nice bed! You know sometimes I wish I had a smaller bed. I know, it's strange but I really want a small bed!" Laura said.
"You're weird," I said.
"Aren't we all," she smirked.
Laura got up.
"Let's go out. I need some air," she said.
"No Laura. Sit down. I need to talk to you."
"Oh dear, I don't like the sound of that," she said with her hands dancing in the air.
"What is it Jess? Did Rene talk to you again?"
"No. Do you remember when you asked me why I was doing this...why I'm hanging out with you and stuff?"
"I'm telling you now...I did it, because I want to help you."
"Help me? I don't need help!"
"Laura...you know you have a problem..."
"What fucking problem?"
I sat down besides her.
"Do you think of me as a friend?"
"Of course...you are more than a friend to me, Jess."
"Then as a friend, tell me honestly, don't you think you have a problem?"
She didn't respond.
"No, Jess, it isn't okay! You don't understand how it feels. You have no fucking idea how it feels to be abandoned by everyone..."
"--Just shut up, okay! Don't give me this shit. You think you can analyze few instances of my life and judge me? You're wrong. You have no fucking idea!"
She got up and headed for the door.
"Then tell me!" I shouted. "Tell me how it feels."
She stopped and without turning, she said, "I feel cheated Jess. Cheated! Imagine all the love your parents, your friends gave you all your life. Then imagine that all that love was just pretense. My life is fucked up and you can't do anything about it."
She was standing still near the door.
I slipped in between her and the door and looked into her watery eyes. She refused to look at me.
"I've never cheated you..." I whispered.
She looked at me as tears hurried down her pale cheeks. I could hear her soft breaths as she hugged me.
"Your whole life might be fucked up," I said. "But 21 years doesn't make a whole life...it's only a small part... a very small part"
I knew this girl had gone through more than her share of pain. She just needed someone to show her that she has the power to change her life now. She doesn't need to depend on anyone.
Laura looked at me. She had stopped crying.
After about fifteen seconds she drew her face close and kissed me. I didn't stop her...I couldn't stop her. Suddenly I wanted to give myself to her. That was probably the only moment in my life I discarded my feelings for men.
We kissed briefly. It wasn't a passionate tongue-in-tongue kind of kiss. It was a kiss that gave comfort and showed compassion. I felt like I knew Laura for years and could tell her anything.
"Laura," I said, "There is one more thing."
"What?" she said, biting her lower lip.
"I'm gay." I said.
Tell her, anything but THAT!
To be continued...
Edited By JL. Do comment on the story. Email me at email@example.com