Date: Wed, 2 Nov 2011 16:23:29 +0000
From: Kyro Clark <kyro3@hotmail.co.uk>
Subject: Glitter and Trauma Chapter 12

==============================================================================
Disclaimer.

This story is a work of fiction although it is loosely based on the real
life experiences of the author.

This story contains graphical depictions of sexual contact between two
adult males. This story also contains harsh language or swearing and
depicts scenes of alcohol and drug use. It should not be read by anyone
where it is illegal to read such material and should not be read by anyone
under the age of 18.

The author retains the copyright, and any other rights to this story. This
story may not be published, copied or redistributed in any way without the
explicit consent of the author.
=============================================================================

Authors note.

Hey! Thanks again for all the feedback people, I signed into my emails
today (02/11/11) and had lots of messages that I had to reply to. I've
managed to get through them all and sent everyone a reply as...MY BROTHER
HAS VACATED MY ROOM! :D You don't realise how annoying it can be to have
someone hanging around your space all day, everyday when you've got a
computer filled with pictures and stories and videos that he's not suppose
to know about or see. :p

Anyway, this chapter was fun to write as there's a bit of a contradiction
in it and a few things are going on that don't become clear until the next
chapter. I've written the end of this chapter three or four times now as I
wasn't sure where the stop point should be but I'm finally happy with it
although *SPOILER ALERT* I'm sure after everyone reads the next chapter
they'll be wanting to strangle me because of where I finished this chapter.

I had an epic time for Hallowe'en and I dressed as a Zombie clown (complete
with clown horn, clown shoes, and a flower that squirts water!) and
basically got up to all sorts of shenanigans that a 21 year old guy
shouldn't be getting up to. (Just ask the bouncer at the nightclub I nearly
got thrown out of :D.)

Anyway, another HUGE thanks to Guy for editing. Although no one sees the
unedited version that I send to him, trust me when I say that he does a
really great job. So ||HIGH FIVE!!!|| :D

Send any feedback to:          kyro3@hotmail.co.uk
Thanks in advance :D
=============================================================================

RECAP:

Today had gone well but I'm still not positive whether Ryan was interested
or not. We stopped at what was becoming our customary good-bye point, I
looked up into his eyes, it was time for me to take charge.

"I had a great time again today," I said meekly moving my fringe out of my
eyes so I could see his face more clearly.

"Me too," he said.

I took a step closer to him so that I was within kissing distance and well
within his personal space; I began moving my head upwards towards his
before he unmistakably pulled his head away and turned to the side.

"I should really get going," he said taking a step away from me, "I'll see
you later."

I stood there feeling embarrassed, stupid and unable to find my voice to
even say goodbye. Ryan had just rejected me. All the signs I thought I'd
seen, all the hints and subtle suggestions, all wrong.  All the excitement
about going out on a date with a guy, about going out on a date with Ryan,
it had all meant nothing and it was all for nothing, he wasn't
interested. Stupidity and humiliation washed over me.

=============================================================================
Glitter & Trauma
Chapter  12 - Moving on.
By Kyro

"Then I moved closer and, you know, went for it, and he pulled away and
said 'see you later.'"

"Geez, are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm kinda over it now. I sulked a bit yesterday but fuck it, I gave
it a try and it's done now," I said trying to convince myself more than
Ben.

Ben nodded his head, "Never mind, we'll pull a piece of meat on Friday
night. You still up for it?"

"You bet, I could murder a drink after that weekend," I smiled.

"So..." Ben began. "Is Ryan sort of..." he trailed off.

"Sort of what?" I questioned.

"Sort of... your type? Is that what you look for?" Ben asked uncomfortably.

I squirmed in my lecture seat, I had never discussed with anyone what type
of guy I was interested in and found the entire notion of having this
conversation strange. Ben was gay; he wasn't going to judge me for the type
of guy I liked, even if it was different from the type of guy he liked. The
whole concept of discussing it openly seemed... bizarre and yet, the idea
that I had someone to share this part of my life with was strangely,
exciting.

"I guess I kinda like slim guys who aren't too hairy and stuff."

"Twinks?" Ben asked.

I smiled, "Yeah, exactly. And I kinda have a thing for guys with long
hair," I blushed.

"Jesus, Ryan must have seemed like a guy-gift wrapped and sent straight
from your wildest fantasies."

"I don't think you'd be able to look me straight in the eye if I were to
tell you about my wildest fantasies." I joked. "So what about you? What
type of guys are you into?"

Ben scrunched his face up clearly deep in thought, "I like guy guys," Ben
said nodding his head thoughtfully. "Nothing too hairy but I don't want
them to be bald either. And I want them to have some definition; I look
after myself so I want them to look after themselves too."

"What about hair colour and stuff?" I asked.

"I don't care about that sort of thing, black, blonde, ginger - "

"Ginger?" I practically shouted.

"Keep your voice down!" Ben chastened. He looked around; we were sitting at
the back of the lecture room with a good three or four rows between us and
the nearest group of people, so they were well out of earshot. "Yeah,
ginger. I think it's sort of...unusual and... hot," he said turning
slightly red in the face. "Oh look," Ben said gesturing his head towards
the aisle, which lead from the doorway to the back of the lecture
room. "Here comes the traitor," Alex was walking up the aisle towards us;
he had been sitting down next to Danny and Ryan when we entered the lecture
room.

"Don't call him that," I said half-heartedly, though if truth be told
though, it sort of felt true.

"Hey," Alex said chirpily sitting down next to me.

"Hey," I said stiffly.

Alex shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "I spoke to Ryan there, and he said
your day out on Saturday went well."

"It did, I told you that," I answered irritably.

"You said that but every time I bring it up you get all sharp and you won't
go into any details about it."

"Nothing happened," I reassured. If only he knew how true that was.

"Then why did you say 'hey' to me like I had murdered your cat or
something? Is me being mates with both of you going to be a problem?"

"No," I answered annoyed at what he was suggesting, "you can be friends
with whomever you want."

"And you won't treat me any different?"

"Nope, you'll still be a dick to me, no change there," I said feigning a
smile. I heard Ben snigger to my right.

Alex gave me an unsure smile; I could tell he wasn't convinced.

After the lecture was done we began walking towards the exit where Ryan and
Danny were waiting.  I muttered a few profanities under my breath, but Ben
obviously heard and put his hand on my shoulder telling me to tell Ryan to
just fuck off. I couldn't help but smile at that.

"Hi," Ryan said to the group and everyone answered before he unmistakeably
turned his attention towards me. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He
looked extremely happy and excited about something but whatever it was, was
more than a mystery to me.

There was a stillness around me that I was extremely conscious of and I
could feel the eyes of Danny, Alex and Ben on me, "eh, sure," I answered.

We all began walking out the door with me and Ryan lagging behind.

"So I've had a good time the past couple of weeks," Ryan said beaming,

"Me too," I said rolling my eyes.

"Anyway, I was hoping that we could do something on Wednesday as it's our
day off."

"I can't, I'm busy," I replied before I even realised that I had said it.

That seemed to take the spring out of Ryan's step but he recovered himself
quickly and continued unabashed.

"Oh, well what about Thursday?"

"Busy."

"Friday?" he suggested.

I stopped walking and looked Ryan straight in his eyes. I was completely
irate at his obliviousness, does he think he can just keep messing me
around? Asking me out on a date one minute and then knocking me back when I
try to kiss him the next. He must think I'm an idiot!

"Look, I can't go out on Friday cause I'm going to a gay bar with Ben and I
can't go out on Saturday cause I'm busy...with friends," I added
venomously.

Ryan seemed completely shell-shocked. He opened his mouth as if he had
something to say and then closed it again, speechless. I turned on my heels
and made my way to the door where Alex, Ben and Danny all stood watching. I
walked straight past them with Ben catching up and trying to keep step with
me.

"Well, that went well," Ben said.

"So you heard?"

"We all did, I think it's fair to say that he got the message. Did you have
to tell him you were going to a gay bar with me though?"

I forgot that no one besides me knew Ben is gay. "Shit, don't worry, plenty
of straight people go with their gay mates to gay bars."

                                                                           *

Alex and I walked through the park in relative silence; he had barely
spoken a word to me since yesterday when I was short with Ryan. He'd
previously asked me 'is it going to be a problem me being Ryan's mate as
well as yours,' and I answered 'no' but apparently it was, and not just for
me.  Being stuck in the middle of an argument between two friends had to be
hard but I know I was in the right and surely Alex should be taking my
side.

"I spoke to Ryan last night," Alex started stiffly.

"I don't really wanna talk about Ryan as you might be able to imagine."

"What was yesterday all about? He told me that he really liked hanging out
with you and that you two were getting on."

"Or we could just ignore what I say and plough on with questions anyway," I
stated sarcastically.

"Stop being a dick; did something happen on one of the dates?"

"They weren't dates," I brooded, "and why don't you ask Ryan? I thought you
two were tight."

"I thought us two were tight, what happened with you and Ryan?"

"Nothing," I grumbled.

Alex sighed, "Look I don't know what happened but apparently neither does
Ryan. I spoke to him last night and he said he wasn't sure why you flew off
the handle with him like that."

"You spoke to him last night?"

"Yeah, he phoned."

I knew Ryan and Alex were becoming friends but I didn't think Ryan would
phone him up and ask about me. Apparently they were closer than I'd
thought.

"I don't wanna talk about Ryan," I reaffirmed, my throat becoming tight. I
didn't want to sound upset that Alex and Ryan were friends, especially
after telling Alex that it wouldn't be a problem, but I was.

"He said that he thought the dates had gone really well."

Obviously they weren't up to his highness' standards, I thought bitterly. I
wonder at what point he thought that he'd do best to get the fuck away from
me? Just another in a long list of people I suppose. Was it when I took him
to Gillardino's on our first date? It probably wasn't expensive enough for
him. Maybe it was when I inevitably gave him a wrong answer to one of the
million questions he fired at me on the second date? Or maybe it was when I
suggested we go to a café and not some fancy high-end delicatessen on our
third date. I felt anger boil up inside me and I clenched my fist in order
to try and hold my temper.

"And he said that he thought you two were getting on really well."

I continued to walk in silence hoping that Alex would let the subject go.

"I'm sure that this is all just one big - "

"Jesus Christ Alex! You weren't there! You don't know what the fuck
happened! If you wanna know every-gory-little-fucking-detail then why don't
you get back on your mobile to your BFF and ask him all about it, but let
me tell you this again; I-don't-wanna-talk-about-it."

I stormed away through the park seething and marched my way to the first
lecture where I met Ben.  When Alex came in he decided to make his way down
the front. 'Probably going to sit next to Ryan and Danny,' I thought to
myself. Thankfully Ben was in a great mood, which quickly rubbed off on
me. He was visibly ecstatic at the prospect of going to a gay bar and spent
the majority of the day banging on about the night out on Friday. I don't
think even the most stubborn of hot-heads could remain angry when you were
in Ben's presence and he was in this type of mood.

"Do you think you'll pull?" he asked as we made our way out of the final
lecture of the day.

"I dunno," I answered honestly. "I don't usually pull, I'm usually the
pull-ee and not the pull-er. At least, I was when I was dating women."

"Yeah but that's probably because you didn't have any physical desires
towards females, but when you walk into this gay bar you're going to be
rampant with animalistic desires."

"You know that not everyone in there is gonna be smoking hot? You know that
there're gonna be a few gremlins and stuff," I chuckled.

"I only see beautiful people," Ben said airily.

"Wow, I feel so privileged to be your visible friend," I stated
sarcastically.

"What? Who said that?" Ben began looking around as if he couldn't see me. I
gave him a punch in the arm and we both laughed.

                                                                         *

Ben and I spent most of Wednesday in my room doing some uni work and just
messing around listening to music. I didn't have anything to listen to
music on so he would bring over his iDock and iPod. He wanted to buy me one
to save him having to bring his over all the time but I warned him that I'd
kick his ass if he tried it. He just laughed this off but I think he got
the message. The lectures on Thursday were awkward. What a difference a few
days make; a week ago I had thought that Alex was my closest friend and me
his, but after I confronted him about getting close to Ryan and after my
snide comment to Ryan it became clear that he was far closer to Ryan than I
had thought he was.  He spent the lectures on Thursday sitting next to Ryan
and Danny, which agitated me intensely; surely I was far closer to Alex
then Ryan? But I never said anything about it and continued to speak to
Alex normally whenever our paths crossed in the flat.

Whenever Alex did start up a conversation about Ryan I suddenly became
distracted with something or conveniently became temporarily
deaf. Ironically it was Alex who seemed to be the one who was struggling
with being mine and Ryan's friend. Not only did he feel that he apparently
knew more about what happened on the dates with Ryan than what I did, but
he also apparently thought it was me who was wrecking any chance of us two
getting together. I was tempted to tell him about me making a move on Ryan
and Ryan backing away but he had me so angry that every time I decided to
tell him, we ended up having another heated argument.

Thankfully I had Ben for company. Our friendship was unlike any that I'd
ever had before; we spoke about all the usual things guys speak about like
cars, football and music but we also talked about guys...a lot. This is
something I'd never done before and if I'm honest, it was awesome. Not
having to pretend that this girl was hot or that that girl had me all riled
up was strangely liberating, not to mention the fact that we could be
honest and frank about the type of guys we liked without fear.  There were
no possible repercussions for me, most people already knew about me being
gay but for Ben it was quite a big risk trusting me, though he seemed to do
so quite easily.

After the lectures on Thursday I made my way back to the flat and set-up a
game of Halo on the Xbox. I had invited Ben over but he was 'desperately in
need of a session at the gym,' apparently. I had just begun the game when I
heard Alex enter the living room.

"Can I jump in?" He asked picking up the other controller as he sat down
next to me.

"If you want," I replied trying to get a feel for his mood.

"So... I was wondering..." Alex began.

"Alex, look, if this is something about Ryan again I don't wanna hear it,
I'm having enough problems driving him outta my head without one of my
mates banging on about him."

Alex exhaled heavily and paused for a minute. Clearly he was picking his
words carefully, "That wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about, but can I
just say that I know I wasn't there but I do know most of what went on
between you and Ryan and that I'm sure you've got the wrong end of the
stick. But I can't say why cause it's not my place to say and I - "

"Don't wanna break confidences," I interjected dully. I don't remember Alex
ever being this cryptic or infuriating. I was desperate to shout at him
that it had been Ryan who had torpedoed any chance that me and him had,
that it had been Ryan who had pulled away when I tried to kiss him and it
had been Ryan who had rubbed salt into the wounds by asking me out on
anther date after knocking back my advances. But I didn't, someone had to
be the bigger man here and let the other guy have their say. Apparently
that was me. "So what were you gonna say then?"

"I wanted to know if you'd do me a favour."

"What is it?"

"I was wondering if you'd come with me to meet my mum and dad?"

A few seconds of silence passed as I thought about what he said. "I thought
you didn't talk to your parents?"

"I don't, but they text me out of the blue the other week, asking how I was
getting on."

"And you wanna talk to them?" I asked a little surprised. When Alex spoke
to me about his parents a while ago he seemed angry and pretty disparaging
towards them. He even cried but not out of longing, more out of anger, but
still...

He sighed heavily, "No, but I don't wanna go through life not talking to my
parents - "

My mind immediately flashed back to my parents and my situation with them
but I pushed it out of my mind. This wasn't the time to think about that,
it was Alex and his parents we were discussing just now.

"And I don't wanna be the reason that we don't talk anymore."

I nodded my head, "So why do you want me to go with you?"

"Because sometimes they can be cruel, malevolent, hard-line, elitist
bastards."

"And you think if I'm there they'll tone it down a bit?"

"A guy can dream right?"

I smiled, "no probs, when are you planning on meeting them?"

"I don't know yet. I'm gonna phone them later."

"Cool, just don't make it Friday, I'm - "

"Going to a gay bar with Ben," Alex interjected. "Where's my invite?"

"I didn't think you'd wanna go to a GAY bar."

"Why not?"

"Em... cause you're straight," I said chuckling slightly at the obviousness
of the point.

"I'm a twenty-first century guy, more so than Ben. Why is he going? Is he
thinking about turning to the dark side?" Alex joked.

"Straight guys can go to gay bars without converting."

"Exactly, so how come I wasn't invited?"

Shit! Should I invite him? If I did and he said yes then Ben wouldn't be
able to pull the way he had been going on about all week. I'd look terrible
if I didn't invite Alex, he may even think it was because I was still
harbouring resentment towards him about Ryan.

"It's in the post," I joked. "We can head out on Saturday if you want and
we can find somewhere were there's no chance that the local wenches will
have a bigger dong than you."

Alex smiled, "I can't, I'm busy this weekend but the next time you're
heading out to tear it up, I'm your first invite, even if it is a gay bar."

"Cool. What are you up to this weekend anyway?"

"Just chilling."

"You don't wanna go out on Saturday because you're 'just chillin?'" This
didn't sound like Alex at all.

A smile crept across his face, "I'm just gonna chill... with Jodie."

"Ahhhhh, that makes a bit more sense," I said banging my shoulder against
Alex's. "So who's Jodie?"

"You've already met her, I met her at your 'Welcome to the Flat' party a
few weeks ago and we've been texting. I took her out the other night and we
hit it off."

"What's she like?"

"Gorgeous, she has a huge set - " Alex began making cupping motions in
front of his chest before I cut him off.

"I don't wanna know," I laughed. "So I take it you've been all the way?"

"Nope, she's not like that,"

"But you are," I pointed out, laughing.

"It takes more than just one person to have sex, or have you forgotten
that?" Alex said making masturbation motions with his hand.

                                                                                *

I checked myself in the mirror and everything looked well though my hair
still had that annoying wave in it that was driving me nuts. Aside from
that, everything else was exactly as I wanted it; I'd had my hair re-dyed
earlier today and decided to go the whole hog and get the entire thing dyed
red. It looked odd without my natural blond streaks but I was moving on in
my life and felt a change was a poignant way to mark it. No more parents,
no more brothers, no more so-called friends, no more Ryan; tonight was
about a fresh beginning with new friends, specifically Ben. I was wearing a
pair of black skinny jeans, a white and grey trashy long-sleeved t-shirt
and a pair of black Chelsea boots to top it all off. I didn't have a jacket
to wear so the long-sleeves would just have to suffice in keeping me warm
and dry on my way to and from the club.

I exited my room and was about to make my way to the kitchen to pick up a
few drinks as Ben would be arriving shortly when I heard a firm knock on
the front door. I turned tail to answer it and found Ben standing on the
other side of the door looking shockingly handsome as ever. He wore a
tight, black Hugo Boss t-shirt which accentuated his muscles and a pair of
dark denims with a short black leather jacket, he looked classically
handsome.

"You don't scrub up too bad," I jested.

"Funny, I was just going to say the same to you," Ben said as he gave me a
playful push before he scrunched up his face, "You got your hair dyed
again, didn't you?"

"Yarp," I said shutting the door behind him.

"I like it, it's brighter and more bold, makes you look like Gerard Way."

"Who's that?" I asked.

"Never mind."

"I was just going to get some drinks."

"Good," Ben said rubbing his hands together.

We walked into the living room on our way to the kitchen and saw that Alex,
John, Danny and Ryan were all having a few drinks and playing Guitar Hero.

Everyone said hello to each other as I sped on into the kitchen to get
drinks. I heard Ben enter the kitchen at my back as I poured our drinks.

"I don't have any umbrellas or limes which I'm sure a man of your class is
accustomed to, but I think you'll find my drink making skills more than
adequate."

"I'm just drinking Lager," a meek voice behind me stated.

I spun round to see Ryan standing there pawing at the ground with his right
foot.

"I thought you were Ben," I grumbled as I turned my attention back to the
drinks I had just finished pouring.

"I asked him to give us five."

"What for?"

"I just wanna talk to you for a minute," Ryan said stepping towards me with
his hands in his pockets, as ever.

I took a sip from my drink but didn't say anything. Ryan took a deep breath
before he began, "I can't believe you're going to a gay bar tonight," he
said sullenly as he stared at the ground. "I thought I had more time and
stuff," he shifted nervously on the spot. "You said that I caught you off
guard the last time I kissed you and that's why you said what you said."
Ryan's face turned slightly red as he continued to stare at the ground. "I
don't want that to happen again."

He took a step forwards so that he was well into my personal space. As I
saw his gaze rise from the floor, I tried with all my might not to look
into his eyes but the smell of his aftershave sent my hormones into
overdrive and drew my focus into his dark, enigmatic eyes. "You're going to
a gay bar tonight and you'll probably meet some guy and stuff but I just
want to tell you something before you go." I saw his shoulders rise and
fall in my periphery vision as he took another deep breath. He exhaled and
I felt his sweet, hot scent brush across my mouth and neck. "I just wanna
tell you that I'm going to kiss you," he said leaning forwards.

My mind went numb and I completely froze as Ryan pressed his lips against
mine tentatively, I felt a tingle erupt on my lips as Ryan massaged our
mouths together while I inhaled his infectious scent.  My body was a swirl
and I felt something stirring in me that hadn't been awoken in a while. I
broke the kiss and stood back inhaling heavily as I tried to catch my
breath. He stood staring straight into my eyes, into my very being and I
knew that he was waiting for my reaction; I shook my head as I tried to get
my head around what had just happened. I felt a pang of anger rise inside
me and walked past Ryan into the living room without saying a word.

"C'mon Ben, let's go," I said as I walked into the hallway.

"What about the drinks?" he shouted as he ran after me.

"Forget them, let's just go."

"Was it Ryan again? Jesus what did he do this time?" Ben asked as he caught
up with me.

"He kissed me."

"He kissed you?"

"That's what I said."

"Nice one," Ben said clapping me on the back.

"No it's not."

"What? Why not?"

I pulled the front door to the flat shut behind us as we stepped outside,
"Because I tried to kiss him and he wasn't interested and now he just shows
up and kisses me and what? Does he expect me to stay in tonight now that
he's kissed me? Does he expect me not to pull tonight on the off chance
that he won't do his usual one-eighty and turn into a complete dick towards
me tomorrow? He's just trying to fuck with me or something."

"I'm sure he's not."

"So what the fuck's he playing at?

"I dunno? Didn't you ask him?"

I bit my lip, angry at myself for losing my cool so quickly. "No," I
confessed.

"You just stormed out?"

"Don't judge, you weren't there, fucks sake," I chastened annoyed.

"I'm not, look it's done now, can we just put it out of our heads and look
forward to tonight?" Ben asked banging our shoulders together.

I smiled reluctantly, that would be easier said than done but I gave him
the answer he wanted anyway. "Definitely."

We made our way to a 'normal bar' (by that I mean not a gay bar) and bought
a few drinks. The club we were going to didn't open it's doors until 11 so
we found a place nearby that was cheap and we went and sat and did the
whole 'straight thing,' at least for a few hours. At quarter past eleven we
left the bar and made our way round the corner to the gay club. I had had
about 8 or 10 drinks and Ben wasn't that far behind me with him only
skipping a few so I was starting to feel my inhibitions loosening, which
was usually the first sign of a good night out. There was a small queue
that we had to walk to the back of and I could feel a lot of stares
following Ben and me. I had a look at a few of the people in the queue and
more than a few looked hot.

We took out places at the back of the queue, "This is going to be sweet,"
Ben stated excitedly.

"Put your tongue back in your head there champ, we haven't gotten in yet."

"I swear to god if they try and give us a knockback I'm bribing the
bouncer."

"What?"

"I'm bribing the bouncer."

I laughed nervously, "Are you serious?"

"Did you see the guy with the pale green jumper and the pure white teeth?"

"The guy with the curly, brown hair?"

"Yeah."

"What about him?"

"He was eyeing me up."

"He was eyeing you up?" I asked sceptically.

"Yep, he was giving me the eyes."

"Are you sure he wasn't having a seizure?"

I saw Ben raise his right hand, ready to give me a punch, "I was joking!
Take it easy, geez, people are gonna start asking about the bruises
thinking I'm in some sort of abusive relationship"

"Any more comments and you will be," Ben smiled.

"I thought you liked kinda built guys? He looked slim," I asked.

"I said I like guys who look after themselves, that doesn't mean they've
gotta look like Arnie. Just so long as they don't look like Michael Moore
or something like that."

"I'd do Michael Moore," I said before I began laughing,

"Awww, that is sick," Ben said laughing.

"Shagging him would be like fighting with a burst bouncy castle," I joked.

The two guys who were standing right in front of us turned around, both of
them laughing.

"Hi, my name's Gregg and this is Jared," the guy named Gregg said,
extending his hand. He was tall with exceptionally blonde hair and bright
blue eyes which stood out against his pale skin. He looked stereotypically
Scandinavian and I wanted to ask him if he was despite his accent sounding
local. I shook his hand and said nice to meet you while Ben did the same
with Jared, then we swapped people and I shook Jared's hands. Jared had
short, black afro hair and a copper complexion to his clear face. He had a
small well-kept patch of hair on his chin but he was clean shaven
everywhere else.

"So are you two together?" Jared asked. That was a bit forward I thought.

"Yeah, we're here together," Ben answered.

I turned and looked at him frowning, "I think they mean together, together
Ben."

A look of embarrassment and realisation flashed across Ben's face before he
began chuckling, "No not like that, we're just friends. What about you
two?"

"Same, just mates," Gregg answered bobbing his head knowingly.

"Do you two come here a lot?" Jared asked.

"I don't," I answered.

"This is my first time," Ben admitted.

"Oooo, a newbie. Are you just out of the closet or have you been to other
gay bars and that?"

"Jared!" Gregg interrupted. "For fucks sake." Gregg turned his attention to
Ben nervously, "Sorry, he doesn't realise that not everyone had it easy
coming out and wants to talk about it all the time."

"It's OK," Ben said.

"I take it this isn't you two's first time here then?" I asked.

"Nope, we've been here...a lot," Gregg smiled. He had a genuine smile but
his face just didn't light up the same way Ryan's did. Shit! I have to stop
thinking about Ryan.

We took a step forwards, we were nearly at the front of the queue now, "So
what made you decide to come here then?" Jared asked.

"Fancied a change," Ben replied. I nodded my head.

"It's pretty good, good thing you didn't come tomorrow night though, that's
lesbian night," Jared warned.

"Told you," Ben added quietly.

We were at the front of the queue now so Jared and Gregg turned around to
face the bouncers. I smiled inwardly to myself; even the bouncers looked
slightly... different. Something about them just screamed, 'we're not
normal,' without shouting 'we're gay.'

"How many of you are there?" The big guy on the left asked Gregg and Jared.

"Alright Johnny, there's four tonight," Jared said. I looked up to see
Jared and Gregg gesturing towards Ben and me.

"Have your mates got ID?" Johnny asked looking at Ben and me. I was pretty
fresh faced (especially now that I was shaving again) and looked young, as
such I was accustomed to being ID'd but I thought the guy ID'ing Ben was
taking the piss a bit. Ben looked older than the bouncer for fucks sake. We
took out our ID's, the bouncer gave them a quick check over, and then
handed them back over and told us to head on in.

"Thanks for getting us in," Ben said.

Jared smiled, "No problem, wouldn't wanna deny you the chance of getting
your freak on with the guy in the pale green jumper," he said wiggling his
eyebrows.

Ben let out a small chortle and I smiled. This is going to be great to
watch I thought to myself.

I went with Ben as he dropped his jacket off in the cloakroom and then we
made our way to the bar where we met Jared and Gregg again. The music was
loud and the lights made the entire place seem like it had a purple/red
tint to it. I took a sip of my drink before Gregg swapped places with Jared
and stood to my left, "What's that you're drinking?" he shouted in my ear
over the sound of the music.

I looked down at my glass, "It's a Sailor Jerry and Coke."

"What the fuck's Sailor Jerry?" Gregg asked.

I laughed, "It's Rum."

He nodded his head. He was really tall and handsome, and I could see people
looking at him from across the dance floor. It made me feel slightly
uncomfortable, a lot of people weren't shy about staring. I smiled and bit
the bottom of my lip before I moved closer to him so he would lower his
head and I could talk in his ear again, "You're getting a few stares," I
said nodding my head towards a group of three or four people who were
looking in our direction.

"I don't think it's me they're staring at. You may not have noticed this
but there's not a lot of people in here with bright red hair."

I looked around and felt my face turn red, were they staring at me? I
swallowed hard, the thought that they were staring at me only made me more
uneasy. I heard Gregg laughing good-naturedly to my left before he leaned
down to my ear again, "Don't look so worried, it could be worse, they could
be paying no attention to you at all." He moved closer to my ear now, "Do
you want another drink?"  he asked, this time not shouting as he was much
closer, so much so that I could feel his breath on my ear. The closeness
reminded me of my earlier exploits with Ryan, a smile flashed across my
face.  Fuck Ryan, he wasn't going to torment me any longer.

"Definitely," I answered.

We turned to the bar and he ordered both of us a drink while I ordered a
round of Jager-Bombs for me, him, Jared and Ben. We each necked our
Jager-bombs and slammed them down on the bar emphatically, all except
Gregg. He put his down mildly and scrunched his face up apparently trying
to rid the past few seconds from his memory.

I laughed, "Struggling there?" I asked.

"I'm not used to Jager, I prefer Sambuca."

I stuck my tongue out in disgust, "Ewwww, I hate the taste of liquorice or
aniseed or whatever you wanna call it."

Gregg laughed, "me too, but it's better than Jager."

"Sacrilege!" I screamed jokingly.

We both began laughing before Gregg leaned in towards my ear again. "So is
your buddy gonna make a move on that guy over there or is he just gonna
keep staring and then downing his drinks?"

I looked over to where Gregg was motioning and saw the guy with the pale
green jumper and the head of brown curls talking to two other guys. I
looked at Ben and he was unmistakeably watching them. I took a step towards
Ben, "Aren't you gonna go over and talk to him?"

"I dunno, I think one of them might be his boyfriend."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I don't, he just seems really friendly."

I was watching the guy while I was talking to Ben and he was right, he did
seem friendly but not towards any one of the two guys he was standing next
to in particular; he just seemed really friendly towards both of them.

"Maybe he's just a friendly guy, he doesn't seem to be touchy-feely with
any of the other guys."

Ben turned his gaze towards me, "Fuck it, do you want another drink?"

I looked down at my hand; I still had two Sailor Jerry and Cokes. "I'm OK."

"Where'd you get the other drink from?" Ben asked, looking at my hands.

"Gregg," I smiled.

Ben smiled knowingly, "How about a shot then?"

I smiled mischievously, "Well I wouldn't say no to one."

"Tell Gregg and that as well then," Ben said.

I turned to Gregg and he was talking to Jared, I waited until they had
finished before I signalled to Gregg to come to the bar with Ben and
me. Jared started making his way across the dance floor towards a group of
guys who were staring at Gregg (or me or whomever) and were making me feel
uncomfortable earlier. Perhaps they were staring at Jared, I thought to
myself.

"What's up?" Gregg asked as he took a place next me at the bar.

"Shots," I smiled.

Gregg put his head in his hands, causing me to laugh, "Struggling to keep
up already are we? And you being so big and tall as well and me being a
good foot smaller than you. However will your self- confidence be able to
take it?" I jested.

"I can drink with the best of them! I'll tell you what then, for every
Jager-bomb I do, you've gotta do a Sambuca."

I smiled knowing that he had me in a jam, "Deal." I turned to Ben, "Can you
make the next two shots for me and Gregg a Sambuca please."

"Cool," Ben answered.

In my peripheral vision I became aware that Ben's piece of eye candy was
walking over towards the same part of the bar that we were standing at. I
thought I'd best distract Ben otherwise he may have a nervous meltdown.

"It's only three shots by the way; Jared is away talking to a couple of
other people."

Ben turned his head towards me and his back towards the advancing boys, I
couldn't help but smile as the guy with the pale green jumper took a few
quick steps to get in front of his friends and therefore took up a place at
the bar right next to Ben, when Ben turns back around he'll probably have a
heart attack, I thought.

"What are you smiling at?" Ben asked questioningly.

I nodded my head behind him, he turned and looked at who was standing
behind him and then he shot his head back around to look at me, his eyes
ablaze.

I heard Gregg laughing behind me and I turned to join in his laughs.

"You're a dick," Ben complained.

"What? This is perfect," I suggested. "Ask him if he wants a drink."

Ben nodded his head slightly clearly summoning up the courage.

"You said he was giving you the eyes," I reminded. "So he must be
interested."

Ben's face hardened as he passed mine and Gregg's shots towards us and then
he turned and began talking to Green Jumper Guy and his friends. I turned
back around to Gregg and lifted my shot glass, "So after this it's one
each, we can just alternate shots after that then?"

Gregg nodded his head and we downed our shots. This time it was me who was
making a face, I heard Gregg laughing copiously, "Is that your cum face?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!" I shot back. Jesus! I think the alcohol was
loosening my tongue. I hope he took that well.

"You bet I'd like to know," he grinned.

I shook my head and felt myself blush which just sent Gregg into another
fit of laughter, "You're cute when you blush."

"Aw geez, thanks," I said rolling my eyes.

"What?" Gregg asked.

"That's what every guy wants to be called, 'cute,'" I said rolling my eyes
again.

"Awww, and now he's gonna pout," Gregg said sticking his bottom lip out.

"Fuck you," I said giving him the finger and smiling.

The club was getting really busy now and there was no shortage of hot
guys. My hormones were in overdrive as Ben predicted and my eyes hadn't had
this much of a treat in... well, ever! We had to leave the bar area as it
was getting too busy so I told Ben that me and Gregg were heading over to
stand near the side. He told Green Jumper Guy and his friends and they
decided that they wanted to come over and stand next to us. I was starting
to really feel the effects of the alcohol when Gregg had the great idea
that we would soon be too drunk to remember how many shots of Jager and
Sambuca we had done so in the interest of fairness, we acquired a pen from
behind the bar and decided to write tally marks on our arms, indicating how
many shots of each drink we had done.

I was wearing long sleeves so I had to keep rolling them up to write tally
mark on my arms. This crazy song ('Loca People') came on and the place went
nuts. I smiled as the song wasn't really the sort of thing that I liked but
I had to admit, given the right circumstances (mainly the right amount of
alcohol) I would probably dance to anything. As the song started I felt
Gregg pull on my sleeve.

"C'mon, this song is bouncing."

I smiled and picked up my drink, I may have been drunk but I wasn't dumb
enough to set it down and then come back to it later. We made our way to
the dance floor and began cutting some shapes, I was a terrible dancer
(aren't all guys?) but I had a lot of fun and Gregg definitely seemed to be
enjoying himself. After a few songs we went back to where we were standing
beforehand to find Ben and Green Jumper Guy locked in a bit of tongue
lancing.

"Another shot?" I asked Gregg.

He nodded his head. We made our way to the bar and eventually got to the
front.

"What are we due this time? Is it a Jager or a Sambuca?" I asked.

Gregg took both my hands with surprising gentleness for a guy of his size
(and for a guy of his intoxication levels) and he rolled up my sleeves to
look at my tally marks. He sighed heavily in mock disgust, "Jager-Bomb," he
said.

I ordered 2 Jager-Bombs and handed Gregg his. We clicked our glasses
together, dropped the shots in the Red Bull and necked them in one. We sat
our drained glasses down and were making our way back to the side of the
dance floor when Gregg took hold of my hand again, I looked back and he
smiled dopily at me, pulled a pen out of his pocket and put a tally mark on
my right arm. The scratching of the pen against my skin sent tingles up my
arms and down my spine. I stood looking at him as he finished putting yet
another mark on my arm, once he finished he continued staring at me, the
alcohol had made me bold, allowing me to make eye contact with him. He
lowered his head and pulled my right arm around his back as he wrapped his
other arm around my neck, our lips touched and I felt his tongue push into
my mouth.

There was an immediate response in my jeans as our tongues met. I could
taste the sweetness of both the aniseed and the Red Bull on his lips and it
drove me into a frenzy. I pressed my crotch against him and felt him return
the favour until he pulled away and smiled back at me dopily.

"Don't wanna get carried away," he said smiling, before he leaned forwards
and whispered in my ear, "Not in here anyway." He leaned back and winked at
me, now it was my turn to smile dopily.

We made our way back to the dance floor and danced (with a lot more
touching and kissing than before) until the lights came on signalling the
end of the night. Gregg put his arm around me and we began making our way
out of the club.

"So I've got a flat that isn't too far from here if you wanna come back
with me?" Gregg asked.

My mind flashed back to Ryan, I had always thought that my first gay
encounter would be with him. I leaned into Gregg, "definitely," I said
smiling.

We made our way out the front door where the cold air slapped some sense
into me.

"Wait," I said. "I've gotta let Ben know where I'm going."

"Can't you text him?"

"I don't have a phone."

"You can use mine," Gregg offered.

"I don't know his number."

We stood to the side of the front door so we could see everyone as they
left the club. After 5 or 10 minutes Ben appeared with Green Jumper Guy but
none of his friends. He gave Green Jumper Guy a farewell kiss and then
walked towards Gregg and I with a big grin on his face.

"Hey, listen Gregg's got this flat and stuff so I'm gonna head back with
him," I said.

"What?" Ben asked sounding a little aggressive; perhaps it was just because
I was drunk I thought.

"I said Gregg's got this flat and he said I could go back there with him if
I want and I'm gonna."

Ben paused for a moment, "What about tomorrow?" he said.

"Tomorrow?" I asked clueless.

He gestured his head and widened his eyes, I was completely oblivious.

Ben looked at Gregg, "Can you give us 2 minutes."

"No problem," Gregg said as he took his arm away from my shoulder. I became
very aware of how cold it was as Ben took my sleeve and lead me a few steps
away from Gregg.

"What are you up to?" he whispered harshly.

"What? I think he's hot as fuck," I said honestly.

"So you're just gonna go back to his and let him fuck your brains out?"

I scrunched my face up, "Well I was kinda hoping I'd be the one doing the
fucking..."

Ben took a step closer, "Look, is this what you really want? A one-night
stand with a complete stranger? You don't even know if he's a top or a
bottom."

"Well we could just, you know," I said lowering my voice. "sixty-nine or
something."

"Jesus! You've just met him?"

"What's the big deal? It's just a bit of fun and he's smoking hot."

"Is this about Ryan?" Ben asked.

I hardened my jaw and felt my fist clench in anger, "No," I shot back
venomously.

Ben shook his head, "look it's up to you, I just didn't think you were like
that. If you think you can live with yourself in the morning then go for
it," he said taking a step back.

"Will you be OK getting home?" I asked. He looked really drunk.

"Yeah, there's a taxi rank round the corner. Have you got, you know?" He
asked nodding his head.

"Ben, I'm steaming, all these subtleties are lost on me, can you just
please say it because I haven't got a clue what you're talking about."

"Jesus, have you got protection?"

I smiled, "Yeah, of course."

"For both of you?" he asked.

My smile faltered for a minute, this would be my first time doing anything
with another guy, I was accustomed to carrying only one condom for myself,
"Eh... no." I admitted.

"Here," Ben said taking a condom out of his wallet discreetly and handing
me it.

"Thanks," I smiled.

Ben nodded his head, seemingly satisfied that he had pursued all avenues
that he had to.

"Talk to you tomorrow?" I said holding out my fist.

"Cool, phone me when you get back," he said banging our fists together.

"Ready?" a voice behind me asked.

I turned round to look at Gregg, "Ready."

To Be Continued...

Send any feedback to:      kyro3@hotmail.co.uk
I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading!!!
=============================================================================
Editor's note.

Will our boy regret it in the morning? And just what IS Ryan playing at?
There are parts of this chapter that just make me want to shake some sense
into Jamie and then sometimes I think he is absolutely in the
right. Another great chapter Kyro, keep it up :)
=============================================================================