Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:08:06 +0000 From: Steve Thomas Subject: Growing up Joshua, Ch. 13 This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between males, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of characters: Joshua Alan Black II Barbie Warfield -- my mother Dennis Warfield -- my stepfather Wilma Warfield -- Dennis's mother ("Missy" to me) Francis Warfield -- Dennis's father -- ("Sir" to me.) Alva Benson -- my Gram (Grandma) Iver Benson -- my Pop (Grandpa) Richard -- My favorite Cousin Ray and Raul -- Richards' older brothers. Nate Willows -- My first roomie. Rudy Chanbers -- Friend across the hall. Randy "Rascal" Ringstrom. Tutor Wayne "Bulge" Andrews -- Rudy's room mate Roger Schwimmer -- a football player. James Meriwether -- Mid-year Transfer Jakub Ivanov -- college friend Morty Rankowiscz -- college friend >From Chapter 12: We walked to the pool area and both jumped in. All the rest of the lights were out. I looked toward the room with the pool table, and it was dark too. We swam and dunked and played aquatic grab-ass for awhile, then he came to me and wrapped his arms around me -- in the water -- which of course put all our parts in strategic positions. "Oh my god!" He whispered. His hips were thrusting slightly. "Oh my dear god." He repeated. We both had raging boners. We kissed and the grab-ass turned into caressing. He was nearly my same height, and he put his face next to mine. He whispered in my ear. "Be gentle with me -- I'm new to all this." I closed my eyes, but not before I thought I caught a glimpse of his father in the window of the darkened game room. Chapter 13 "We better swim some laps, I think, before we get out." I whispered. "I think your father is watching us." "It's okay. They know about me and -- they approve of you." He said. "Doesn't matter. No way am I going to parade this for your father." I said, indicating my substantial boner. I broke free and swam laps until I was down and shriveled. The foreskin hung almost 1 1/2" in this condition. We got out, dried off and went back up to his house. "I think you imagined it." He said. "What?" "I really don't think my dad was there. It seemed like a bad dream to me and I couldn't really know for sure if he was really there. I accepted Morty's assertion. "They just wouldn't DO that!" When we got back to our rooms, I asked if he maybe wanted to stay and talk for awhile. "YES!" he said enthusiastically. I flipped back the covers and invited him in to the bed. He eagerly climbed in and to the other side. He was naked, so I didn't put my jam bottom back on either. "I liked feeling your body in the pool." He told me "Me too. I think you'll like it even better all warm and dry!" I giggled. I well understood that this was an invitation -- or maybe ... a brazen dare! He didn't need to be asked twice. He immediately came to me and awkwardly tried to give me a prone, a-line hug, without bringing our groins together. I kissed him, giggled again and pulled him in close. He moaned loudly. W kissed some more. "I really like this, Josh! I mean -- I REALLY like it!" He said. I loved that he seemed so untouched. (I had no idea!) "Me too." I said, and kissed him again. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. "I think what I'm trying to say is -- I am falling for you!" "You think so, huh?" I said. "Well, I like you too." "No -- I don't think you're getting what I'm trying to say. "I think I'm falling in love with you." "I know." "What?" "Morty -- I like you a lot. And -- I like that you like me -- a lot. But let me explain something to you. It's something that no boy my age should even know! But I have learned it that hard way." "Uh huh?" "Um -- let me tell you something. When Dennis used to -- um -- fuck me -- he - " "Who is Dennis?" "My stepfather." "Oh, Jeez! That's gross." "I was 8 when he started doing it." "Oh -- no! Oh NO!!! Oh, Josh -- I am so -- sick -- for you! How could you - " "That's a whole `nother story. What I wanted to tell you was -- I thought I loved him -- while he did it! He thought -- and TOLD me -- he loved me -- while he was doing it. But the rest of the time -- I hated him and -- he treated me like the step-child I was. But when two bodies are this close -- and are aroused -- it feels like love." "I've felt this way since the first night that you kissed me in front of your house." "Yeah -- and you probably came home and jacked off thinking about that kiss." "How did you - " "Because ... I did the same thing! But -- I have had a lot of -- experience ... too much experience ... sad experience." "Yeah, but I'd never - " "Your body tells you that you're in love -- when you are doing things like this. Mine's even telling me it now. But -- I know from -- sad experience: that feeling goes away." "It's hard to believe you're only 15." "Okay -- let's say I'm 16! I will be in a few weeks." "I can't believe you're only 16. You seem like you're older -- than even I am." "In some ways -- I am. Seth says I grew up too fast. He's an expert on it because he did also. He says I should take time to be my age -- and recognize that -- sex imitates love pretty accurately -- in your head. When you are having sex -- or even near to it -- or are thinking about it -- it creates endorphins in your body -- and they make your body feel good all over -- including your brain." "You sound like a psychologist!" "Seth has taught me a lot. I want to be a psychologist but Seth says to wait awhile to make that my major. He says too many people become psychologists for the wrong reasons. "Money?" "No -- because they are trying to figure out what screwed up in their own heads! He says that very few figure that out and yet they are trying to ... fix others ... and end up screwing up their patients' lives too." "Wow. That's heavy. So -- what can we do -- I mean -- I still like you. I still like the things you have shown me." "Me too. But I just don't want to hurt you. So I thought that we should get some things understood." "So you just want to have some fun -- and then -- what? Say `thanks and good bye'?" He was on the verge of sounding pissed. "No. I'm open to -- anything. But we've known each other less than a week." "Oh -- I've known you since the beginning of the semester!" "You know what I mean. Let's take things slow. You are a very nice and -- very innocent guy." " -- who's waited too long to try anything -- with anybody." He said, searching out each of my eyes for some hint that I was okay with continuing with what we were doing. "Okay, I'm sorry to -- um -- get so anal on you. But -- I have to protect myself. My subconscious is very vulnerable -- right now. As long as you know -- that -- there can be no promises. He looked a little confused. "Look -- okay -- all of me wants to at least kiss you -- and hold you. You asked me to be gentle. Well, I -- um -- ditto! We'll go slowly -- for both our sakes. K?" "You ARE anal! But okay -- slow go, Baby Boy." I hesitated a moment, wondering if he had any idea how that one phrase (Baby Boy) makes my heart and ... body... sing!! When it looked like he wasn't going to make a first move, I pulled him in to another sweet kiss, with full body contact. He again moaned and before long we were both pumped up to full staff again. I know he was very carried away, but I couldn't get out of my head. Finally I asked, "Have you ever had another guy jerk you?" "Oh, no! Can you -- I mean -- will you -- do that for me?" I rolled over enough that there was room between us and I started to pump his meat slowly. He made a little high pitched giggle and then an equally high pitched moan, and I kissed him deeply, as I picked up speed. He started to breath deeply then he started to whimper -- afraid to make too much noise. I jacked with everything I had, and he blew his load between us. He started to weep. "Are you okay? I asked. "Okay? Yeah! I'm more than okay. I just never dreamed it could possibly feel that good! I've read about it and -- of course I have wet dreams -- but to have someone actually touch me and do that to me -- that was more than I've ever -- um -- imagined it could feel like." "I guess you mean -- um - that it felt better than when you do it to yourself -- right? I know what you mean. When I do myself - " "No! I don't do that! I've never actually rubbed it until it erupted like that. I've woken up and found myself humping my sheets and had the stuff come out, but I always stopped when that was happening. But -- you kept going even after -- after it came out." "Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you've never jacked off?" "No! The Torah forbids it." "But it's okay if I do it?" "The Torah doesn't forbid that. But Onan was killed by God for spilling his own seed on the ground. This is the reason all Jewish boys are given for the commandment to not masturbate." "Wait a minute ... someone was killed for masturbating? That seems a little harsh." I said. "We can look it up in the morning -- if you like. It's also in your Bible." "I don't have a Bible." I said, maybe a little defensive. "THE Bible -- it's in THE Bible!" "Okay -- if you say so." "Do you want to see it?" "Right now?" I asked, a little perturbed. "No -- you're right. We'll look at it in the morning. Maybe right now, I can do you?" "Oh yeah -- that'd be nice! Only -- can we do it a little differently?" "Show me!" He said, his round eyes full of happy, lusty enthusiasm. I pushed him down and the first thing I did was scoop up some of his cum from my own tummy and slowly put it in my mouth. He watched intently -- as if not to miss a thing. He winced a little as I put my cum-covered fingers in my mouth. His eyes almost seemed to be glowing in the dark! I grinned and said, "MMmmm!" Then I kissed him. He shuddered a little but then kissed me even deeper, pulling me down on top of him. I took his hand and rubbed it in the major pool of spooge that was on his own abdomen, then told him to make a fist and enough room for my boner to fit inside. I placed it next to his pubes and started to thrust myself into it. He quickly caught on to what I was doing, and was squeezing and releasing me as I pushed in and out of his fist. I kissed him and made love to his hand slowly for as long as I could stand it and then sped up and he seemed to realize it would be better next to his pubes, so he opened his hand and trapped my boner between his hand and his hair. It was also rubbing his own stiffening member, and so I went slower, hoping he would go again. But soon I was lost in my own pleasure and was ramming his made-up orifice as fast as I could. Just was I started to feel my juice start to rise, he said, almost panicky, OOHHH, I'm coming again!" That was all I could take, mine went off like a machine gun, shot after shot, with his competing to make a large pool on his chest. I collapsed on top of him and we were both heaving and gasping As soon as I caught my breath, I lapped up a huge slurp of our mixed seed and swallowed it. He hesitated but then turned me over and did the same. He winced at the strong taste, but swallowed it. We kissed deeply and he said, "Omigod, I love you!" "I know." I said. "Me too!" He rolled off me and came up behind me and spooned me and we cuddled to sleep, him rubbing our love juice around my smooth chest. I felt cherished and comforted. We awoke in the early morning. He asked if I was okay. "Yes -- I'm fine. How about yourself?" "I'm fine. It feels strange." "What?" "You're right. I can remember it! It felt as if -- when we were coming together like that -- as if I couldn't live without you -- without your love. I can see now -- that you were right. The feeling is not so intense. Oh, I still want you -- still want to be with you, but the sex -- that made it so much more intense and -- I guess maybe -- um - surreal." "Yeah -- that's what I was trying to explain." "Um - " "You want to do it again, huh?" I said with a smirk. "Omigosh! You read minds too?" I laughed. This time he got on top and I made the tunnel for him to thrust into. I made it right next to my own meat, so that his thrusting would be rubbing me at the same time. I also pumped my hand up and down so I would feel more at the same time. We both again spooged near to the same time. Being on top he started to lap up our cum and swallowed it as fast as he could suck it in. Again he winced as he swallowed, but I knew he was letting me know that he was okay with it. When we awoke again, the sun was shining through the window. I was holding him this time and when I moved he woke up too. We hit the shower. I showed him the delights of washing each other. We both brought each other to another full load and then we rinsed and dried and when there was a knock at the door, we were both in our tee shirts and boxers, sitting at his desk. "Come in." He said. His father came in and when he saw that he had interrupted our study, he said. "Oh -- the Torah! You're studying, then." He came over and looked at the book. I was embarrassed when he said, - "Oh! Onan. God slew him because he disobeyed." "Yes. He was commanded to plant his seed in his brother's wife -- after his brother died." Said Morty indignantly. "Onan didn't want to do this and spilled it on the ground instead! Father -- why have you never explained this to me? That God slew him for disobedience -- and not for the act of masturbation." "Boy's too often get carried away with this act. It is better for them to discover for themselves that it isn't as bad as they thought. By the time they find this out -- they are often past the age of it being a problem. "Your mother has breakfast ready ... Pull some pants on and let's eat." He started to close the door, then poked his head back in. "I would have thought you figured this out before. Welcome to manhood!" There was silence for a time then Morty said, "I guess there are just some things that a dad won't tell a son. But then -- I never asked! He told me everything I ever asked. I knew all about sex -- how it worked -- well, at least with a woman -- by the time I became a bar mitzvah. But I was so ashamed about even wondering ... I never asked about masturbation. "Omigod, Joshua!" He said, so suddenly I thought something happened. "What??!!" "I don't really need anyone if I can do that for myself, do I?" I was completely at a loss for anything to say to him. Finally I said, "Well -- if you think you can do what I did for you -- I guess you are free to try." I felt immediately left out and cold. "No, Joshua -- NOOooo! I still like you. I still want us to be friends -- forever! I was just saying ... " He paused then said, "Let's go eat." "Don't worry, Josh." Said Seth. "You had fun. You went swimming, you watched a movie -- you met some interesting people. You even learned a little about his religion." "Yeah -- that they teach their boys it's bad to jerk off and hope that thye find out on their own that it isn't. That's kind of warped." "That was probably only in that family. Didn't you tell me that they weren't really active in their church -- er -- religion?" "Um -- that wasn't all we did, Seth." "What? Oh. Well, like I said, I hope that you were safe about - " "We didn't do anything that required any special precautions." I said. "Did you want to hear about what we did?" "Um -- well -- did you want to tell me?" YESS! My whole body was screaming that I wanted to tell Seth about what we did. "Josh?" "Yeah." "If it's too embarrassing - " I almost wanted to scream at him. How could he not know how much I loved him! "It's ... not." I explained to "my Seth" every move that Morty and I made. He listened carefully and then said, "Well, it sounds like Morty is probably safe. But I want to warn you -- or at least inform you that there are diseases -- bad ones -- that can be spread from contact as casual as you guys were involved with. Even though you didn't do anything oral or anal, you had some pretty intimate moments. It's highly unlikely that there would be any threat of AIDS -- since the AIDS virus dies quickly upon contact with the air. "But Josh -- it's important for you to know that casual contacts -- of this sort -- can still cause you or others a lot of trouble -- even heartache -- when a loved one has to deal with something that is passed on -- even inadvertently. Chlamydia and herpes both can be easily transmitted through the type of contact that you had with your new friend. It sounds as if he is safe -- but are you?" "Wha-at?" I was dumbfounded. "You may never have any symptoms of those diseases -- because you could be immune to them. You and your brother both could be immune because of some antibodies that are passed on from your father. "Josh, this is just an illustration, but say if your brother had sex with someone -- and then you has sex with him. Both of you could be carriers of either or both of those diseases, and never know it -- until one of your partners is NOT immune. This stuff is insidious! How would you feel if for example -- your new friend, Morty, found out he has genital herpes? And you were the only one he ever touched? How would that make you feel?" When I didn't answer, he prodded me. "Josh -- I really need you to answer this one." "I -- um -- I'd -- um -- feel terrible. Do -- do you think that -- that -- I do have - " "It's very improbable but it's possible. And Josh -- you just felt a small bit of what it might feel like if that really happened. In reality it happens and is happening all the time. Because -- and this is in both the gay and straight communities -- there is so much rampant promiscuity. But it is worse in the gay arena -- percentage-wise. Any time two people these days decide that they have to be intimate with each other -- they should both be tested -- to make sure one or both is not a carrier. That seldom happens -- so the disease problem is epidemic. "And you can carry herpes for years and never have an outbreak -- and then Bang! One day you have a raging case. It's not fatal -- unless you have some other disease -- like AIDS -- but it is very uncomfortable and you'd feel terrible -- if you even suspected that you transmitted it to someone else. Chlamydia can be cured with medicine, but it too can be very uncomfortable and embarrassing. Just when I was starting to feel like Seth was no longer my fantasy lover, he said, "Josh -- I don't want you to go through this. I love you - " YESSS!!! " -- as a good friend -- even like a little brother. I want you to be informed and not have to go through this -- even second hand." "O-okay." I said. I felt SOOoooo fifteen! "Thanks Seth. Love you too." That was the night that I stopped fantasizing about my therapist -- and started worrying about my friend. My god! How many partners has Nate had? I don't even know! I started to freak out. I went to the student center at the college and read the bulletin board. I knew it would be an easy task to just ask someone, but I didn't want to have to talk to and let anyone else know anything about my personal life than absolutely necessary. I searched for a long time -- every periodical and notice that was posted. I was getting frustrated. "You look very intent." I looked and it was Morty. "Whatcha looking for?" "I -- um -- something. Morty -- I want to get tested." "Why -- I mean -- are you not feeling -- um -- tested for what?" His already round eyes widened. "Joshua! Why do you need to get tested??!!" "SHHhhh!" I said. "Nothing! It's nothing!"? I emphasized. "I just -- I mean -- I heard -- that is -- I talked to Seth the other night and -- oh Morty!" I stammered. Then in frustrsation, "Where the FUCK is anything here about testing for -- you know -- for those diseases?!!" Morty pointed to a sign at the very top -- in big bold red letters -- to big to be ignored -- and -- obviously - too big for me to notice: FREE CLINIC -- FREE TESTING -- TOTAL ANONYMITY -- BE SAFE! And a phone number. "We're both going!" he said. "You never told me - " "There's nothing to tell. You know that I have had -- um -- other - experience. But Seth told me how someone innocent can be -- messed up -- without even his partner knowing." Morty immediately keyed in the number to his phone. "Yes. Yes. Two of us. Yes. When? Really? Just a moment." He asked me if I was able to go across the street immediately. I nodded. "Yes! We'll be right there!" Morty started to run away, leaving me dumbfounded. He stopped and turned. "C'mon! They have a cancellation -- now!" He again turned and ran and I caught up with him. He led me to his car and we drove up and across the street. "Do either of you have any symptoms -- of anything -- itching, cracking skin -- anything?" "No." We said in unison. "A simple blood test should do the trick." Said the phlebotomist. "It takes only a day to screen for some things -- like herpes and Chlamydia. Others take longer -- like AIDS." He took both of our phone numbers. "The clinic will be in contact within a couple days. Don't look so worried, guys. You both look pretty clean. Really -- most tests are negative." Morty and I were almost inseparable during the next two days. I begged his forgiveness several times. He was very understanding, but never actually told me that he forgave me. It was like he was waiting for the outcome of the tests. I was in knots! But I never felt those feelings like ... We clung to each other like a couple of cornered mice. I was afraid to let him out of my sight -- like as long as I was with him, he couldn't be thinking bad things about me. We were together in the gym. It was well after everyone else was gone. We were just talking, after a long and hot shower -- together. My wrestling coach checked on us -- while we were still in the shower (was it my imagination that he was also "checking us out"?) before he left. "Coach Tillman will be here for another hour or so -- if you need anything." He assured us. He smiled as he checked me out one more time before leaving -- I think. (I'm ashamed that I felt a little thrill.) We finished dressing and went out of the gym and into an area where there were picnic benches. We were walking through when my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. I stopped and looked at Morty. "It may be them!" I said. It was. I put it on hands free. "I am pleased to tell you that you are completely free of all std's -- except that it may take longer for the AIDS test to come back. But as I remember -- that wasn't much concern -- to you and your friend -- right?" "I -- um -- yes -- you mean -- I am -- um -- clean?" "Yes. If you have any more questions, please feel free to call or drop in, Mr. Smith." (We didn't give our real names, at the suggestion of the clinic.) "Thanks." I looked at Morty. We both broke out in a grin. We flew into each others' arms and were jumping up and down with joy when his phone rang. "It's them!" he laughed. "I guess I won't tell them I already know!" He laughed and answered, "Hell-oh!" as if he were singing., and put his on hands free, grinning at me. "This is the free clinic. Mr. Jones?" "Yes." "The doctor wants to talk with you. What is your earliest time -- um -- that you could come?" "Wha -- what?" Morty's grin turned upside down. "He wants to -- um -- (AHEM!) talk to me? I mean why -- why -- why!? I mean -- um - " Morty's eyes looked mortified! "The doctor doesn't like to discuss results over the phone, Sir." "Oh -- but -- but -- can I come now?" "Now would be okay." She said empathetically. Morty hung up without saying good bye. He looked at me. His eyes filed with tears. "Why -- I mean -- they told you on the -- I mean -- what could he have to -- oh no!" His legs buckled and he fell forward on to me. "Let's go see what he has to say, Morty." I said, as baffled as he was. He shakily removed himself from me and we walked to his car. "Can -- can -- you drive a stick shift?" I shook my head. He looked at me like a wounded puppy. We walked into the clinic. It was hard to realize that the rest of the world was still revolving. It seemed like ours had stopped. Even though it was Morty that -- that -- was the one who was -- worried -- about himself -- I felt like it was me as well. "Mr. Jones. Please come in." "C-can -- can -- my friend come too?" He pleaded. "The results of your testing is rather -- um -- confidential. If you want him there, it is okay with us." Morty looked at me nervously -- pathetically. I got up and helped him to his feet. I took his hand and led him to the doctor's office. The doctor smiled. "Don't be scared, Mr. Jones. There is nothing life threatening here. This is completely routine. You have tested positive for the Herpes Simplex II." Morty's eyes filled with tears immediately. "There are a number of types of viruses in this genus. It is the same type of virus that causes canker sores. But this is somewhat different. Herpes II is the type that usually attacks the genital area. Because of elevated practice of oral sex, the types I and II can be found both in the mouth and the genital area. "Now, I don't want to scare you. You are probably only a carrier -- if you've never had an outbreak. But I also don't want to give you the impression that it is not serious. When you boys first came in here I didn't feel it was necessary to ask any more personal questions. Unless there is a positive test, there is no need to worry anyone. "But since your's came out positive for Herpes II, I need to ask -- how many sexual partners have you had ... Mr. Jones?" Morty shakily lowered his head and shakily brought his hands up to his face. He looked at me. I nodded to him. "One." "Oh!" The doctor looked between us. "I maybe -- um made an erroneous assumption. I -- um - " "I was his only partner." I said. "I see." Said the doctor. He walked in a circle, with his finger to his mouth. "Um -- Mr. Smith, is it?" "Um -- oh! Yeah." I said. "I think that maybe I should talk to Mr. Jones in private." "Doctor -- if you were going to ask me if I was telling you the truth -- yes! Joshua is the only one I've ever been -- intimate with -- ever. No one -- boy or girl -- ever before! Maybe your test is flawed." "No -- there's little chance of that. But sometimes a child is a carrier -- having inherited it from his parents. Well, still -- knowing is better than not knowing. You now know that you could possibly get herpes -- someday -- and ... though it can be transmitted when it seems dormant -- usually that's not the case. You KNOW when you have a sore, son. And that's the time to be extra careful. Do you have any other questions?" "No." said Morty, quietly and seeming completely defeated. We walked slowly to his car. He called his dad. "Dad? I was tested for STD's. Yes. I tested positive for Herpes II. He was tested too. No, his came back negative. Dad -- do you or Mom have herpes? I see. No, but -- I wonder what else you have not told me -- after this and the masturbation thing. No -- I'll get over it -- I -- guess. Bye. No - Not now dad. Bye." He drove me home. When we got to my house, he simply said, "Bye, Joshua. I'll leave you alone." "Wha --at?" I said. "What do you mean -- leave me alone? What if I don't WANT to be left alone?" I had spent 2 very close and very -- almost surreal and intimate days with Morty -- and yet we didn't as much as touch each other -- except when my test results came. I wasn't ready to just say bye -- and that's that. "Joshua -- you're clean. You deserve to stay that way. In our religion, we believe in being equally yoked. I'll have to find someone who -- who -- has the same thing I do." "Aw -- that's ridiculous, Mort - " He looked deeply into my eyes, his face dripping with tears. "No! It's NOT ridiculous! It's practical! Good bye! Please get out and let me go home!" Now it was my eyes that filled with tears -- again. "See you after practice?" "Yeah -- I guess." He said. "Bye!" I looked longingly into his eyes and then opened the door and walked slowly up to my front door. I looked back and he was still sitting there. I opened the door and waved. He waved back and drove away. Before I turned and went in, I decided that my family didn't need to know about any of this. I smiled and walked in. "You're a little late. You should call when you know you're going to be - " "I didn't know." "Oh -- okay. Was that Morty that dropped you off?" Said the General. "You should have asked him in." "He had to go. It smells good in here." I said, more to change the subject than anything else. "I'm glad you think so. That's the bell peppers from last week. You mother is not home tonight, so we'll be eating leftovers. Go clean up. I saved you 1and 1/2 peppers." "I'm not very hungry." "Can I have them?" Asked James. "Sure." I said, and I went to my room and closed the door. I just wanted to be alone. Notes: STD's are nothing to fool with or be casual about. They can have serious effects on a relationship. It's good to be informed and healthy in your practices. Comments are welcome to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. . Thanks and love, Steve