Guide to a New Life
By Cyrus B. Alvarez
Chapter 3 – How
to Break the Rules by Being Obedient
START the new school year with a new attitude.
You really can't do anything about the school uniform — you have to wear it — but that doesn't mean you can't add a personal touch.
Leave the top three buttons on your white polo shirt unbuttoned to give you a rather `rugged' look. Don't shave. Just cut your mustache and goatee with small scissors once a week. Start to grow your hair long. Then, remember that you have to cut it really short because you enrolled in ROTC this sem.
Shave your head.
On the first training day, line-up like all the other cadets. However, line-up with those aspiring for light-duty by writing for the official paper of the ROTC Unit. Hate the formation.
Next Saturday, arrive late and in civilian clothes (so that officers won't be able to reprimand your tardiness). Then, just sign the attendance sheet twice and spend the rest of the day dozing off at the Publication Office. Pretend that you are doing something on the computer when the commandant comes in the office.
Do this for the rest of the year.
Learn a few tricks that will help you pass your courses with minimum efforts. Learn that all you have to do is get at least 2.75 and 3.0 on the prelim and midterms, and you could slack off the rest of the semester.
Fail the finals.
Learn also that your increasing popularity — and notoriety — can be used to your advantage. Feel triumphant when your teachers cower the first time they realize that you're one of their students as they see you entering the classroom. Terrorize them for the rest of the year.
Make your classmates feel that you're really not grade-conscious and all you wanna do is to pass. Watch as they look at you with unmasked admiration for your cool disposition.
Don't go to class for a week or two. Attend only when there are quizzes. Top the quizzes. If you don't, you have an excuse: "I didn't know na may quiz pala."
Don't tell them that you study like hell when there is a major exam. Make them feel that you didn't care. Top the exam.
When they call you `Diyos', just smile and answer, "Tao lang ako."
Move to another boarding house. This time, rent the whole room for yourself.
Enjoy your newly found privacy. Sleep on your birthday suit every night. And even during the day.
Agree to compromise your new freedom when your classmate, Rod, asks to crash in with you while he's trying to find a new boarding house.
Tell the landlady that you have a temporary new roommate.