Date: Sun, 8 Apr 2001 10:02:07 EDT
From: Dakotajoe2000@cs.com
Subject: Hanging By A Moment, chapter three

	This story is copyrighted and the sole possession of the author.
No duplication is permitted without the express written consent of the
author.  It will contain graphic description of consensual male to male sex
and may be offensive to some.  If this is not something you wish to read,
please look elsewhere.  Certain events in the story are based loosely on
real events so the names of the characters, with the exception of mine,
have been changed to reflect that.  Hanging By A Moment is the title of a
song by Lifehouse. Constructive email can be sent to Dakotajoe2000@cs.com

Hanging by a Moment, Chapter Three

	Mile after mile ticked off of the odometer.  Kentucky and Tennessee
were already memories and Alabama was flying by just as fast as the former.
Nick peered deeply into the road ahead, looking for something maybe, but
never able to find it.  Tension within his body was so tight it would take
a Mack truck to relieve it.  The warning light for low gas flicked on and
he flinched.

	"Nick, have you heard a word I've said in the past hour?"
	Brandon.  He had flown in from Seattle to meet me.  Wasn't that
nice of him?  We had been talking online for three or four months now.  I
had mentioned in passing that it would be cool if we could somehow spend
New Year's together.  He took me as serious and bought a plane ticket.
Don't get me wrong, I was very happy to have him here with me; I just
seemed to have my mind on other things, or other people, namely Jason.
	"Um, yes and no.  I couldn't tell you what we talked about but I
was listening at the time.  Sorry, I'm kinda focused on driving."
	"Yeah, you sure are.  What's up man?  You're spacey tonight and
that really isn't like you.  C'mon guy, tell me what's wrong."
	I smiled at him, probably for the first time on the trip.  He was
so cute.  He had the softest hair and it was a dark shade of
strawberry-blonde.  It was close to being brown, but not so much that it
wasn't noticeable.  He had wonderful eyes too.  Every time I would look at
them I could catch the sparkle that emanated back out to me.
	We didn't talk any more the last thirty miles to the hotel, but he
held one of my hands as I drove, lightly stoking it with his thumb.  I was
about to cry from the build up of emotion pulling at me from inside, so I
broke the hold he had on me.
	"Look, we're here."  I don't know how I got so lucky for the timing
on that one.
	I checked us in and pulled the car around to the back of the
building for the night.  We lugged our stuff inside and upstairs to our
room.  Isn't it odd how you'll pack a month's worth of stuff for a three
day trip?  I did anyway.  I could have been pulled into the ocean fifty
times and still had dry clothes to work with.  We made some menial
conversation about the room and how tired we were, but for the most part,
we went about our own way.
	I climbed into my bed and was about to turn the lights out when I
glanced over at him.  Brandon was just laying there on top of his covers
looking at me.  He had pulled a trick out of his bag and was using it on
me.  I couldn't resist those puppy dog eyes and I motioned for him to come
on over to my bed.  Like a kid on Christmas morning, he nearly flew into my
arms.  I giggled softly and rolled onto my back.  He fidgeted around for a
minute and then leaned over me.  It was the softest kiss I had ever
experienced.  This time, there was no holding back the tears.  I had just
met Brandon for the first time and there was a deep connection already, and
I was resisting it.
	"I'm sorry. That was too soon."  I felt him roll away from me and I
knew that I needed to react or lose him all together.
	"No, bud.  It was unexpected for sure, but I like you."  I had said
that!  I like you?  "You do?  You've been very unreceptive to me all
night."
	"Yeah, I know." I sighed deeply and rolled onto my side so we were
looking directly at each other. "I've had some things on my mind and I've
let it interfere with you, us and why we're here.  I left Columbus for the
weekend, should have left my problems to, eh?"
	He just smiled at me and touched my nose with the tip of his index
finger.  I about melted.  Neither of my boyfriends had ever touched me in a
way that wasn't completely sexual or would lead there.
	"Roll over," he said.
	I did as I was told and he gave me one of the best back rubs I've
ever had.  He ran his fingers up my back as if trying to read the sad
expression in the tightness of my muscle.  Several minutes passed and he
kissed the nape of my neck.  His arms wrapped around me and he pulled my
back to his chest.  A tight squeeze told me that everything was okay and he
wanted to hold me like this tonight.
	"We'll talk tomorrow."

**********************************************************************

	Andrea walked into the room and was immediately incensed.  The
scolding wasn't too far behind.
	"For the past three days you have done nothing but lay on that
couch.  I don't know what happened over Christmas, but it's time to move
on.  Did your parents upset you?  Did David call you again?  What?!
*sighs* Listen, the kitchen is still dirty because you haven't put away the
stuff you've used.  The garbage needs taken out and you unquestionably need
a shower.  Get off your butt and do it before I make you."
	Jason smiled at her.  He counted himself lucky to have a friend
like her.  She put up a tough front at times but he knew deep within that
she was genuinely concerned about him right now.  He also knew she was
serious about making him do the work around the house.  He'd had one too
many nipple twists to say otherwise. She had turned to walk away as he
spoke.
	"It's Nick."
	She stopped and looked back at him.  He had tears in the corner of
his eyes and he quickly looked to the other parts of the room.
	"Whoa.  That's a name I haven't heard in a while."  She walked
softly to the couch and sat next to him, placing an arm over his shoulder.
	"I emailed him over break.  I told him that I didn't think it was
okay for us to keep talking, with our break-up and all.  I think I messed
up though....I meant that it wasn't okay to talk back at the time, but I
didn't mean now.  He's probably going to take this as a `leave me the hell
alone' kind of message."  Tears were freely rolling now.
	"Aww, sweetie.  So why don't you write back to him and explain what
you really meant?"
	"C'mon Andrea, you know that isn't the way to do things.  `Hey,
that last email, what I really meant to say was'...that would either show
me as desperate or loopy or maybe both.  I want him to have a positive
image of me and I don't know how to do that."
	"I see.  I think you should call him."
	Jason looked at her and dropped his head.
	"Yeah, I've thought about that.  I don't know what I would do if he
hung up on me though, or worse yet if some other guy answered the phone."
	"Well kiddo, you won't know until you try.  Now isn't a good time
though.  You need to cool off a bit before you do that.  Go for a walk or
take a drive, or something.  If you need support when you're ready, I'll be
here, okay?"
	He leaned in to hug her, the only confirmation either of them
needed to know they loved each other.
	"I'm going to take a drive I think.  I'll call you later to let you
know I'm okay."
	"Jason?"
	"Yeah?" he said as he grabbed his coat off the recliner.
	"Don't forget the trash."

**********************************************************************

	Brandon and I shared some intimate moments that weekend.  He had
seen me cry more than once and was there to hold me every time.  We talked
frequently, always about what was going through my mind.  I told him about
Jason one evening in bed.  He didn't move like I thought he would.  He
stayed right there next to me and held me just the same.  He was truly
special to me.
	The drive home was great.  I remember every aspect about it,
because Brandon was there with me.  He wasn't comfortable sitting in the
car the way he was, so he "adjusted" himself a bit.  His seat belt came off
and he lay his head on my lap.  He curled up in a fetal position between
the two seats with his head resting softly against my stomach.  I softly
stroked his hair as I drove, not wanting to ruin the moment.  We drove
through Nashville just before dark that evening.  We wanted to be home to
watch the ball drop in Times' Square.  The soft rock station I had tuned in
started playing THE song.
	Softly I sang:
	"Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you."
	Yeah, I know that song was written as a stalker type thing and it
wasn't meant to be taken romantically, but that wasn't even on my mind.  I
had a beautiful boy sleeping on my lap, letting me stroke his hair.  I had
begun to feel deeper things for him in the past four days, but I also knew
that he would soon have to be on a plane and headed back to Seattle.  I
chose not to think about that for the moment.
	We got home about fifteen minutes to midnight.  He settled himself
in front of the television while I made some quick preparations.  The fire
was started in the corner and was going well by the time I sat down with
our drinks.  I had put together two Amaretto sours and handed him one.
It's my drink of choice and it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
We snuggled into each other and watched as the world turned once again.  I
was about to doze off in his arms when the phone began to ring.  I had no
intentions of moving.

***********************************************************************
	Jason pulled the car into its spot and shut the engine off.  He
wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not, but it was something that
needed to be done.  He stepped out and into the chilly night air.  He
wrapped his coat tight against his body and headed down the gravel walkway.
There was a large log sitting in the sand just off the waterline and he
took a seat there.  Names and initials were carved into the driftwood and
he traced his fingers along some of them.  The beacon of light behind him
continued piercing the sky and he sighed deeply as he pulled out his phone.
	The light and beach at Westport provided him the sense that he
needed.  Although he knew he wasn't here right now, he had been and that
was all that mattered.  He sighed one more time and slowly dialed Nick's
number.


That's all for chapter three.  I should be working on chapter four later
this week, but we'll see with homework and all.  Let me know what you
think.  :) Nick