Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2001 04:32:28 EDT From: Dakotajoe2000@cs.com Subject: Hanging By A Moment, Chapter Four This story is copyrighted and the sole possession of the author. No duplication is permitted without the express written consent of the author. It will contain graphic description of consensual male to male sex and may be offensive to some. If this is not something you wish to read, please look elsewhere. Certain events in the story are based loosely on real events so the names of the characters, with the exception of mine, have been changed to reflect that. Hanging By A Moment is the title of a song by Lifehouse. Constructive email can be sent to Dakotajoe2000@cs.com Hanging By A Moment, Chapter Four Winds howled around the trees as the thunderstorm grew in intensity. Large drops of rain started to collect on the windshield, slowly forming a tear and dropping onto the hood of the car. Nick glanced nervously at his driver's side mirror and looked for signs of approaching traffic. He'd been at this place before and seen the same traffic pass by over and over. True, they were different cars with different people, but the traffic remained the same. Viciously the winds beat at his car. Nick was in a daze and couldn't feel the car shift beneath him. He had things swirling around in his mind that were far more intense than the winds outside. A sharp crack to his left brought his gaze to a brilliant lightning stroke. It was just enough to break the daze. Tears that had been hiding came out to do fierce battle with the rain. It had been more than a year since he had last cried. ************************************************************************ I don't remember ever seeing Brandon's face as we drove to the airport. He had packed in silence. We were both in the bedroom together and made eye contact numerous times, but nothing was shared. He really was special to me, and letting him go was going to be very hard on me. I had gone through quite an experience over that summer. I had lost the first guy I ever loved, actually my fiancee at the time. He never really told me why we broke up, just that we had. I cried over that. I had gone to Seattle and met Jason. Upon returning to Columbus and realizing how much I cared for him, I cried more times than I could count. Now, I was dealing with this. I had developed deep feelings for this young gentleman in front of me in just six days. Is that possible? I don't know, but I promised myself I wouldn't cry. "Kay stud, I'm ready to go." He was standing there looking so adorable that I just smiled at him. We made our way down the stairs and grabbed both of the bags he had sitting at the bottom. I set the alarm panel and we gave each other a hug before going outside. It was relatively easy to load the car, as we just tossed his stuff into the back seat. "Ya know, I can get you anywhere in Columbus in thirty minutes?" "Um, yeah, you had told me that." "Couriers have to be able to do that. Shoot, if I wanted to, I could have you to the airport in fifteen minutes." There was an awkward silence in the car and I figured that wasn't the best thing to say. I didn't dare look at him for fear of crying. I pointed out various features as we drove, probably the same ones I had shown him as we were driving out less than a week ago. We parked in the short term area and headed towards the terminal. It wasn't a long walk. The gate was crowded. I scanned the general population for cute boys as I always did. Ooh, lucky me, there was one sitting right in front of me. He was sitting next to a woman who was obviously his mother and didn't appreciate me staring at him the way I was. Mothers are intuitive about these things sometimes. I shook the thought from my head, knowing that I had what I wanted just inches from me. I turned and looked at him. "What?" he asked with his little grin. He knew exactly why I was looking at him. There was no sexual tension, no signs of lust. It was pure admiration and it was reflected in his face. I blushed. "Nothing," I whimpered and went back to looking at the cute boy. Mom glared at me again. I felt someone pinch me and immediately looked at Brandon. He was smiling from ear to ear. "What?" he asked again. I didn't respond, I just looked at him like I was Forrest Gump with a fresh box of chocolates. He grabbed me around my neck and gave me one of the biggest noogies I've ever had. I giggled softly to myself, fighting back the urge to cry. I hung my head for a moment before glancing at Mom across the aisle. She was onto us, dag nab it. I started to choke something out, but the tears I was holding got in the way. For the third time with the third different inflection he came. "What?" I sniffled, "Wouldn't it be funny if we did some kind of spin off of `Unbreakable'?" He could see the wheels spinning in my head and I could tell he didn't like where I was going with this. "I mean, didn't he blow up the plane or something?" I asked all too loudly. Mom looked at me again but her complexion had changed. She wasn't worried about her little boy anymore, she was worried about the condition her chocolate chip cookies would be in if the plane were to suffer some kind of major damage. I know she had them in her carry on bag....they always do. I laughed. This was the first time I had caught myself doing that today. Mom was preoccupied with her thoughts and I took full advantage of the situation. I leaned over to Brandon and whispered into his ear, `I Love You'. Boarding went smoothly and I didn't even stay to watch the plane leave. We didn't say goodbye, just looked at each other and hugged the other tight. I practically ran to my car, not bothering to look at traffic as it came through the garage. I was nearly downtown and doing well emotionally, I thought, until I turned on the radio. `I Knew I Loved You' by Savage Garden was playing softly on the so-called soft rock station. That was all it took and the tears started flowing. Situations like that are never good in heavy traffic so I tried to find something to get my mind off of the situation. I thought of Jason. It probably wasn't a good thing to do. I cried harder. I don't remember getting from downtown to my house. It's nearly eight miles, so I was unaware of my surroundings for a lengthy period of time. There are times that I would fight the tears but in this case it was healthier to let them go. I sat outside on my steps for what seemed like forever and let it all go. I never wanted to cry again. ************************************************************************ The phone rang several times without an answer. The answering machine picked up my call and I heard his voice on the other end telling me to leave a message. I choked. I really needed to talk to him. Andrea had been right about me. I had been wasting too much time worrying about things and I just needed to let them play out. I slid the phone back into my jacket pocket without a word. I didn't leave a message, I wasn't sure how he'd respond to something like that. I wanted to make sure that I knew what his response would be, I wanted to hear it. I continued to stare out at the water for some time before I started to get cold. It was really late when I got back to the car. The dash told me it was nearly four am. I had been sitting there in the dark in the sand for hours. I pulled the phone back out and called Andrea. She frantically answered. "Hey," I whispered into the phone. "Where are you?!" she practically screamed. I pulled the phone back a bit. "I'm at Westport." "What are you doing at Westport? You need to come back to Seattle right now and talk to me." Some of this was sounding very familiar as I thought back to one of my conversations with Nick. The fact alone that I recognized the similarities in the calls was enough to make me zone out. "Earth to Jason, are you still there?!" "Yeah, sorry. I was thinking." "Boy, you've had plenty of time to be thinking. Come home, get into bed." There was that motherly side of her that appeared every so often. I fully expected to get a hug from her when I did go home though. I wasn't sure when that was going to be. I wanted to be alone for now. "No, I'm going to hang out here for a while." It got really quiet on the other end and I wasn't sure if she was thinking or jumping up and down on the floor with her hand over the receiver. The latter was a funny thought and I actually started to giggle. "What's so funny?" she stammered. Hmm. Guess she was thinking. "Nothing, I was just snickering. Sorry. Listen, I'm going to go. I need the rest. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know what's going on, okay?" "You bet, kiddo. Take care. Love you." That was that. I turned the key over in the ignition and started the wheels rolling. As before, I wasn't sure where I was headed, but the car knew. Daybreak was quickly approaching as I pulled the car into the parking lot. I had crossed the bridge into Oregon at Astoria several hours ago and decided it was time to stop. I slept for a couple of hours before I was aroused by some kids playing near the car. I pulled myself together a bit and stretched. I walked down to the wooden steps and then out onto the sand. I had a horrible feeling in my gut and attributed it to hunger. I looked around me and stared at the sign protruding out of a rock outcropping. It read Cannon Beach. I immediately got sick and puked into a metal trash can near by. The kids that had been playing near the car just stopped and looked at me. I dropped to my knees in the water and started balling. I never wanted to cry again. ************************************************************************ There is is! I already know what chapter five has in store, just need to write it. Mid-terms are over as of Monday and no more taxes to do, so I'm free to write. YAY! Hope you liked it and I look forward to your comments. Nick